Miss you so much Dad...

Have been feeling a bit low over the last few days... Mum is not well she seems to be getting more and more muddled and confused with life... and today is the anniversary of my Dads death. On this day, December 12th 1991, we lost a very much loved husband and Dad... so long ago yet it seems like only yesterday when Dad was taken from us so suddenly. Dad suffered from asthma and on this particular night he suffered quite a severe asthma attack. Dad had been ill with a chest infection and he had been given steroids earlier that day... sadly during the night regardless of the steroids things took a turn for the worst. Mum called me in a panic and I called for help. It was decided that Dad only needed to see a doctor on call out and by the time the doctor arrived Dad was struggling for breath. Mum was getting very upset as was I but we tried to put a brave face on things... The Doctor called an ambulance immediately and in hindsight and something I have always felt really guilty about is the fact that I should have insisted on an ambulance in the first place! If I had the outcome could have been so different! By the time the ambulance arrived and it seemed like forever... The Doctor kept looking out of the window waiting for the ambulance and checking my Dad... but he could do nothing to help his breathing... Mum and I busied our selves by gathering items required for an hospital stay...
When the ambulance finally arrived they carried my Dad out in a sort of stretcher chair... Dad could not talk he was just concentrating on trying to get what little air he could to his lungs... but I could see the worry in his eyes, Dad hated hospitals... the last thing I said to Dad was ' you will soon be feeling better Dad, and you will be home in time for Christmas' he gave me a knowing glance... The ambulance men got Dad into the ambulance and connected him to a nebuliser.... Dad looked so relieved... and then he died......
I miss him so much (Mum misses him deeply and I don't think she has ever gotten over his loss) .... this was the poem that we read out at his funeral, such beautiful words....


They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

Author Unknown.....

Love you with all my heart Dad... and think of you each and every day, but especially today!! xxxxxx

We Remember.......

I found this beautifully written poem on the Internet, it moved me to tears. Please read it as it portrays what Poppy Day is all about, and we will remember them..........

Why Wear A Poppy

"Please wear a poppy", the lady said,

And held one forth, but I shook my head

Then I stopped and watched as she offered them there,

And her face was old and lined with care;



But beneath the scars the years had made

There remained a smile that refused to fade.

A boy came whistling down the street,

Bouncing along on carefree feet.



His smile was full of joy and fun,

"Lady" said he "may I have one?"

When she pinned it on, he turned to say:

"Why do we wear a poppy to-day?"



The lady smiled in her wistful way

And answered: "This is Remembrance Day,

`And the poppy there is a symbol for

The gallant men who died in the war. "



`And because they did, you and I are free

That's why we wear a poppy you see.

I had a boy about your size,

With golden hair and big blue eyes.



"He loved to play and jump and shout

Free as a bird, he would race about.

As the years went by, he learned and grew

And became a man - as you will too. "

`He was fine and strong, with a boyish
smile,

But he'd seemed with us such a little while

When war broke out and he went away.

I still remember his face that day.



"When he smiled at me and said good-bye.

'I'll be back soon, Mum, so please don't cry.'

But the war went on and he had to stay

And all l could do was wait and pray.



"His letters told us of the awful fight

(I can see at in my dreams at night),

With the tanks and guns and cruel barbed wire,

And the mines and the bullets, the bombs and the fire."



"That sure did sound like an awful fight,

But your son - did he come back alright?"

A tear rolled down each faded cheek;

She shook her head but didn't speak.



I slunk away in a sort of shame,

And if you were with me, you'd have done the same;

For our thanks, in giving is aft delayed,

Though our freedom was bought - and thousands paid!



And so, when we see a poppy worn,

Let us reflect on the burden borne

By those who gave very all

When asked to answer their country's call

That we at home in peace might live.

Then wear a poppy! - and give!

A man called George Totten wrote
this beautiful poem