Top 10 List: Ten things I learned in the first week of third year medical school

1. If you give a bunch of medical students pagers, many of those pagers will go off during the very next lecture.

2. If you train and test medical students in anatomy, physiology and pathology for two years, when you give them a schedule saying "Monday - On Call" they will likely have no idea what this means or what they are supposed to do. Or if they should bring their pagers.

3. Lectures by fourth-year students explaining what "being on call" means and what to do when on call are very helpful. Lectures by senior faculty describing the abstract, theoretical concepts of effective learning aren't so much.

4. Rounds are not to be confused with rounding. Rounds come in two types, teaching and grand. While teaching is done on grand rounds, it is not the same as teaching rounds. Likewise, teaching rounds are not necessarily grand, though I suppose they could be, in the same way that nice people can be jolly. Of course, the internet phenomenon Grand Rounds is entirely different and could be considered a third type.

5. Properly scrubbing for surgery as a medical student simply involves making sure you scrub your hands for longer than any of the other surgeons or residents.

6. Every time we need to write in a patient chart, we need to write the following:

• Name
• MSI (which stands for Medical Student Intern...or we can write Clerk instead)
• our provincial College of Physicians number
• our pager number
• the Dr. we discussed the note with
• the date and time
• our favourite ice cream
• a pencil-sketch drawing of ourselves acting out a favourite childhood memory
• and which character we most resemble on the TV show Scrubs.

Oh, and we have to write something about the patient, too.

7. A hospital tour by a doctor who helped design the hospital will be much more engaging than a tour by an administrator who is reading the signs on the walls.

8. Suturing can be difficult, because if the real thing is anything like our training sessions, our patients' skin will be thick, easily bruised, very fragile, yellow, and smell and look like banana. (There was an "issue" with the bureaucracy with bringing in pigs' feet, as we've used in the past.

9. The summer is plenty of time to forget all the things medical you learned in the first two years of medical school.

10. Even if you remembered everything from the first two years of medical school, you would still know pretty much nothing compared to what a doctor knows.

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You know you're consumed by studying when...

I found this list in a friend's Facebook notes... and with her permission, am reproducing it here for your reading pleasure. I won't pretend that I'm coherent enough to be this creative at this point right before finals... this many 15-hour study days in a row is enough to shut down most basic cognitive functioning.

You know you're consumed by studying when...

10. You think osteoclasts are cute (white furry balls!)

9. It seems like you're studying more than breathing

8. Things that secrete mucus are mucous-secreting
(clarification for those not in our class: incorrect spelling = incorrect answer = no marks. because we don't have enough stress!)

7. Breaks consist of eating

6. You don't sleep, you nap

5. You look forward to sleeping

4. Taking a shower is a relaxing activity

3. A change of scene involves studying a different block

2. Hearing "6 days til the holidays" provokes fear, not excitedness

1. You think personal hygiene is an option, not a necessity

Okay... back to work!

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Top 10 List: Terrific Tips for Stupendous Suturing

Today, while shadowing in the ER, I sutured real people for the first time. Twice.

Clearly, this makes me one of the world's leading expert on skin sewing. Ask any doctor.

This, and watching dozens of lacerations put together, and taking part in a suturing workshop with very realistic artificial materials designed to perfectly simulate human skin (those materials being made of box cardboard).

Fortunately, it was the second patient - not the first - who asked, "Have you done this before?"

I answered him truthfully. "Yes," I said.

So, having learned so much from my great wealth of experience, I have decided to benefit you, the reader, with ten terrific tips for stupendous suturing of lacerations.

If you're a medical student, like myself, use these ten tips and you will blow away your classmates.

If you are a nurse or patient, read this list then verbally chastise any physician you see who does not follow these ten tips.

If you are a doctor, verbally chastise yourself right now, out loud, under the assumption that you do not know all of these ten tips.

I request no repayment for this tremendously valuable guide, other than the act of "suturing" be re-named "Vituming." With a capital V.

10. Don't have your stethoscope draped around your neck while you suture. Place it in a pocket or on a desk.
It will get in the way and ruin your sterile field (not good) - very important for emergency department laceration suturing.

(Actually, research has shown that sterile gloves and sterile saline are not needed for ER suturing, as they don't significantly reduce the rate of infection.)



9. Don't have your ID badge on a lanyard. Use a clip instead.
It will get in the way and ruin your sterile field. So not good.


8. Don't have your lab coat on. Roll up the sleeves or remove it.
The sleeves will get in the way of your sterile field. Like, totally, so not good.


7. If the patient is getting woozy, tell them not to look at the wound.
The patient I saw was very pale. Research shows that by telling them not to look at the wound, they will not get woozy (research pending). Research also shows verbally demeaning or physically assaulting the patient will help with compliance on this point.


6. Don't bend the needle.
This will make it a pain to get through the wound. This is partially accomplished by grasping the suture needle at the right point with the needledriver - close to the end.


5. DON'T POKE YOURSELF.
Generally, getting patient blood inside you is something you should try to avoid. Mostly for the pain, I think that's what I was told once, but there are supposedly some blood-borne illnesses that are nasty.


4. Poke the patient.
You can't suture a patient if you don't puncture their skin with the suture needle. Trust me on this one. This is more important than #5; as well, the comedic value is decreased if it is ranked higher than #5.


3. Ignore the fact that the image associated with this post shows suture removal, not suture administration.
Allowing little errors like this to cloud your mind while you suture will distract you from doing a good job. Your patient will complain, and likely sue you.


2. Efface the edges.
For improved wound healing. Or something like that.

1.

Sorry I couldn't come up with a #1. What did you think I was, an expert on the topic? I've only done this twice.

By the way, before you follow any of these, make sure you read the disclaimer below. Especially the part about not listening to any advice on this blog.

(If you actually are an expert, by all means, post your tips.)

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Top 10 List: Pieces of advice for pre-med students

Overheard during the interviewer lunch break at my med school's interview weekend: one old doctor to another - "The very first student we interviewed blew us away. She'd summited Mt. Kilimanjaro, competed in the Olympics, and was an honours student with incredible research experience and publications. You know, if applying to medical school was like this back when I applied, I don't think I'd be admitted."

Getting in to medical school is tough. In Canada, less than 30% of students who apply each year are admitted to a school, and on an individual basis Canadian schools accept as little as 3% of the people who apply (that's more competitive than some Ivy League schools in the USA!) (source). That's not counting the thousands of students who wanted to be doctors when they started their undergrad degree, and had to face the realization that thanks to things like the MCAT and the competitiveness of the pre-med world, and perhaps the odd slack semester or difficult year, they would never even make it to the point of applying for medical school.

Here's some advice I would give to any pre-med student applying to medical school, though non-pre-meds might find it interesting as well as it might give you a unique perspective into the mind of a pre-med student. I wrote this list assuming you know all the basic info - what the MCAT stands for, what an application involves, and the like, though keeners at any level of their training - high school, college, or university - might find this useful as well. Given that, what I've written below something I hope every pre-med could have the chance to read before they apply to med school.

10. Have a backup plan...
This is one of the hardest thing for pre-meds to do: plan what you'll do with your life should you not 'get in' this year (or ever). Why's it so hard? It just sucks to think about the fact that you might not be accepted. But, you can't put your eggs all in one basket... you need to be realistic and know that even some applicants with the highest marks aren't accepted anywhere. Nothing is for certain. So, have a backup plan if you don't get in this year... and also consider what you could do with your life should you not get in at all. This might even mean considering taking a 'pre-med' degreee other than biology, since you don't need a biology degree to apply; if the only job you'd be interested in doing that you can get with a biology degree is medicine, you might want to do something else.


9. ...but don't give up if you don't get in your first time.
It's turning out more and more now that getting into medical school is more about learning how to "play the game;" because it's such a crap shoot, anybody who doesn't get in their first time applying would be stupid to throw in the towel right away. Even if you didn't get an interview, go to an advising session if any of the schools you applied to offer one, and give it another go.


8. If you do get in, don't do anything the summer before you start classes.
Seriously - don't work. Travel, but only for part of your summer, since travelling around can be stressful and you want to have time to veg. Give yourself at least a few weeks to sit around like a bum and do nothing, maybe see some friends that you won't be able to hang out with when things get busy. Let me put it this way: you now only have a couple of summers left (unless you chose to apply to a 3-year program!).


7. Know what doctors do before you decide you want to be one.
It would be devestating sacrifice so much energy, effort and free time just to keep up in the pre-med rat race and realize later on that medicine isn't for you, so learn what a doctor does - not just daily, but learn what the lifestyle is like, the stress level, the impact on family life. How? A few ways: you can read books and biographies about physicians, you can shadow physicians where you live, or you can go to a developing nation and volunteer your services at a medical clinic or hospital. The third one shows commitment and could have much better opportunity for clinical exposure, thanks to different policies on liability; though if you do that, please make sure you're going to a place where you can actually contribute and not just be watching or being a pain, and remember that some med schools actually use the length of time you spend away as a 'filter' for resume padding; a former dean of admissions in Canada, as quoted in a newspaper article: "only the affluent can spend six months in Africa volunteering at an AIDS clinic. ... it's become sexy to put stuff like that on an application.... but they're not necessarily going to get extra points for it."


6. Know what other health care professionals do before you decide on medicine.
What does a perfusionist do? What's within a Respiratory Therapist's scope of patient care? Did you know that there are nurse anesthetists? How do you know that you want to be a doctor, not a nurse? As well, getting to know other health professions will help you respect other health care professionals once you start working with them. Finally, it will add depth to your understanding of your own motivations if you can be positive that you want to be a doctor, and not some other type of health care provider. Following #4 (below) can play a huge role in satisfying this, but make sure you still get the chance to see what these people do in real life as well. From my experience, anyone in these professions is more than happy to tell a future doctor what their job involves, if they're approached with interest and respect.


5. Don't kid yourself: Training to become a doctor is one of the most difficult things you can do.
Even though it may appear easy at first, when finals come around (even in first year) you will realize that you've never done anything more difficult, more demanding mentally, intellectually, and emotionally. It will take over every minute of your free time and you will have to set aside time usually devoted to family, friends, and yourself; literally my entire days the month before finals was wake/study/sleep, even though in undergrad I never had to study very much for most courses. The only people who don't feel this way around finals are the ones who have spent their entire semester studying, literally every day and weekend, or are exceptionally brilliant - and there will only be 1 person of the latter kind in your class so chances are it won't be you. And that's just first year. For third year, add all that stress to being on call, having to deal with patients, nurses and doctors daily, having a pager go off while you're sleeping, and having to study for finals in the midst of all that. In all honesty, I've always said that the only thing I can think of that is more demanding and draining than becoming a doctor is boot camp, and boot camp only lasts 12 weeks. However, that was until I read about a U.S. Marine turned doctor, who discusses "How Residency is Different from the Marines" (scroll down to find it). Even though he says the Marines was harder, training to be a doctor must be pretty hard in order to even deserve the comparison.


4. There is much value in reading the online medical blogosphere.
See my post titled 'why pre-meds should read medical blogs,' then for a place to start, check out my 'guide to medical blogs for beginners' . Here, though, I'll just list a couple of the several reasons. You'll see from jaded residents and medical students just how hard med school can be (try reading the Don't Become a Doctor series on iFindings' blog, as an example). You'll learn what being pimped means and how med students react to it and the subtle, unspoken rules involved. You'll hear about the most exciting moments in the OR, what it's like to be sued and sued again, learn from the mistakes of medical students and read what residents wish they had done differently. As well, you'll learn more about different health care professions if you take the time to read their blogs, fulfilling piece of advice #6. Beyond that, medblogs can give you a perspective on how these different professions work together in the same problem - see, for example, the story Perspectives, written in three parts: part I by a cop, II by a paramedic, and III by a nurse. And, you'll get involved with the profession in a unique way - by engaging in discussion, leaving comments and e-mailing blogging doctors, you can get 'face time' and advice from physicians that you might not get elsewhere.


3. Make sure that going into medicine is your own decision.
Are you doing this because an expectation has been imposed on you by your friends or family? Is this a dream you once had that has now faded, but it's just too hard to tell everyone that you are switching career plans? If you do go into medicine just to satisfy someone else's plan for your life, you are going to hate yourself, and you'll have nothing to keep you going when you have to give up everything for medicine.


2. Marks come first. You can always add volunteer activities after you graduate; you can't go back and increase your undergraduate GPA.
You don't want to look back on a year or a degree and say, "Those marks don't reflect my true potential...I wish I would have worked harder." My dad has told me over and over again of a man he knows who wanted to get into medicine, but when it came down to applying, his GPA was too low because he'd had more fun than study time in his first year of university. More than a few times I've been having conversations with people who say "My brother / cousin / friend tried to get into medical school, but couldn't..." and often it ends up being a GPA issue. Some people end up having to take a master's degree just so that their undergrad marks aren't considered... they have to work extra hard to make up a first semester where they played more billiards and pranks than studied, or a year when they didn't figure out that they understand organic chemistry until the last week.

1. Be 1000% sure that medicine is what you want to do.
...and make sure that you've completed #7 so that you are making an informed decision. Please do not go into this profession if you aren't completely and utterly sure that this is what you want to do. You'll only end up hating yourself for it, and if you stay in the profession, everyone around you will hate you, too.

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Top 10 List: Foods that Med School has ruined

Not for the faint of heart...

I've written more than once about medical school taking over my life, but now, I'm about to demonstrate another, entirely new and different, way that being a medical student is invading every aspect of my daily existence.

In the words of the evil resident, pathologists love food anologies. Thanks to pathologists who drew the analogies, and who provided photos that in many cases didn't need an analogy to be verbalized in order to cause irreprable harm, I now have trouble eating some foods.

Without further ado, here is the list of foods that are hard to eat now, and why, thanks to medical school.

Actually, there will be further ado, a warning that certain individuals may find the following quite disturbing. If you fall into that camp, I don't mind you choosing to not read this post, so long as you shower me with empathy anyways.

(You're lucky I provided a warning, by the way. I didn't give my sister a warning before I took her on a tour of my school's pathology museum. She lasted about 6 seconds. Bless her soul.)

---

1. Lasagna
An anatomic specimen of an athersclerotic aorta seen in pathology lab bore a stunning resemblance.

2. Cocktail shrimp
A procedure called "Transurethral Resection of the Prostate" (TURP!), where they shove a large, narrow .... up male patient's... nevermind ... results in tiny "cores" of the prostate gland being removed. When collected on a surgical towel and photographed, they look like shrimp. In case any student failed to make the visual association, the professor was kind enough to draw our attention to it.

3. Popcorn
Fortunately, my mind has blocked out this reference. Must have been too traumatic. I only remember that it was mentioned in a pathology lecture.

4. Tomato Juice
Duh.

5. Cream Cheese
Doesn't help that the actual term to describe many pus-esque exudates is "cheesy."

6. Pulled Pork
Frighteningly stunning resemblance to certain human muscles that have been thorougly examined by anatomy students.

7. Beef Jerky
Frighteningly stunning resemblance to human abdominal muscles that have been drying out in a body bag for several months.

8. Sheep Brain
Though I enjoyed this delicacy before medical school, it just reminds me way too much of human brains now. (Okay, just kidding. I never ate sheep brain.)

9. Fettucini
One word: Tapeworms. Actually, it technically wasn't medical school that ruined this - I found this one on a blog post.

10. Cream of Broccoli Soup
Turns out this was the food that my body donor had chosen as her last meal. Please don't ask me how I know. As sad as it is gross.

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Top 10 List: Ten things I learned in first year med school

Guest-written by my classmate Jay...used with permission, of course. I don't just steal things off my friends' Facebook profiles without asking!

1) I now get annoyed when conversations, even daily conversations I have with family and friends, aren’t quick and to the point, and last longer than 8-10 minutes.

2) The only treatment for a muscle injury is nothing.

3) A patient will not fully disclose the information you inquire about until after you’ve asked, re-phrased, asked again, re-phrased again, and then asked while cocking your head slightly to the side in a conscious gesture of interest... I call it the power-cock.

4) Prednisolone is Snoop Dogg’s prednisone.

5) On a scale of 1 to 10, 5 is not firm enough to penetrate.

6) Even for $14,000 per student, a well-thought-out curriculum and well-taught lectures aren’t guaranteed.

7) Foosball is a cunning game of skill, agility, dexterity, and mental steeliness.

8) Short white coats do two things: they instantly identify you as a clueless rookie… and, they make kids cry.

9) The one time you fake it and say you can hear a bruit or murmur, the clinical instructor will say that there isn’t one.

10) Med school is nothing more than just really hard school.

Update: Jay wrote another list at the end of second year.

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Top 10 List: Gimmicks Pre-Meds Use to Stand Out

After a few years in the game you start to hear more and more stories of what to do and what not to do.

In case you're having trouble deciding which of the following strategies to adopt (or regret not adopting), I've conveniently ranked each gimmick with a patented, easy-to-understand ranking system (in lieu of the customary "top 10" ranking).

• Submitting cookies with their application
  They better be peanut-free.
  Rating: 3 dozen batches of shame out of 12.
  
  
• Submitting their application on scented paper
  Are you kidding me?!
  Rating: 2 garage-sale antique perfume bottles with the little puffer balls (atomizers, I think they were called) out of 29.
  
  
• Showing up 15 minutes late for the interview, while the interviewer waits for them to show up.
  I actually saw this happen, and I heard the interviewer ask, "Why were you late?" The response? "Oh, I thought my interview was at 11:45." I can't decide whether this applicant was extremely honourable for being honest or extremely stupid for not at least making up a better excuse.
  Rating: 4 white lies out of 11.
  
  
• Drawing a cartoon of Mickey Mouse instead of writing an application essay.
  Even worse: Labeling your cartoon "This is what I think of the admissions process."
  Rating: 99 spots on the Hollywood Walk of Lame out of 100 (because this is a true story).
  
  
• Answering the "Why do you want to be a doctor?" interview question with a one-sentence response.
  These are the kinds of people that a) have limited common sense and b) the interviews are designed to weed out.
  Rating: 56 times having to listen to "Because I Like Science and Helping People" as the lyrics of a polka song, out of 941.
  
  
• Not following simple directions regarding the application, resulting in their first and last name ending up in the "First Name" box.
  Pathetic, though unintentional, I assume.
  Rating: 65 misread directions out of 143.
  
  
• Including a spelling error in the first sentence of my application essay
  Uh... oops.... well, it got me an interview...
  Rating: 10 honest mistakes out of 10.
  
  
• Writing their admissions essay from the perspective of the applicant's pencil.
  Not a bad idea. I wish I thought of it.
  Rating: 49 well-deserved spots in medical school out of 50.
  
  
• Wearing a The Simpsons tie to their interview.
  I saw this one done by a guy who interviewed at the same time I did last year.
  He's not in my class.
  Rating: 1 desperate, unsuccessful plea for attention out of 64.
  
  
• Showing up at the admissions office wearing a Tarzan leopard-skin outfit and singing Portuguese love songs to the dean
  I don't think this one has been attempted yet, so give me credit for the idea if you use it. I guarantee you will stand out.
  Rating: Negative 16 rock-bottom shameless sells out of 612.
  

This list came about after a conversation with my school's director of admissions as we were killing time and chatting up a storm during interview weekend (I was helping out). She told me that giving gifts to the admissions office simply doesn't work. First of all, the dean of admissions doesn't dictate who gets in and who doesn't; it's a committee decision, based on the accreditation policy. Secondly, gifts aren't accepted by the department; they're either given away, or in the case of larger gifts, sent back.

My advice? Instead of using a gimmick, try being a great person with a stellar personality. But hopefully you didn't need to hear that if you're indeed applying to medicine.

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Top 10 list: Things I learned by watching House, M.D.

Special thanks to Comrade for his joint authorship of this post.

1. Things will only go wrong when the doctor is in the room (unless it's before the patient enters the hospital).

2. X-ray, MRI, CT scan, and ultrasound technicians don't exist. Attractive, high-profile doctors do all the work.

3. Real hospitals don't have nurses, unless the doctor is making a snappy remark to them, or they are extras walking around in the background.

4. Patients are rarely ugly.

5. House doesn't need a mask in the OR, he has sterile breath.

6. There is entertaining music every time a doctor thinks up a correct diagnosis.

7. Harassment and manipulaiton aren't inappropriate; rather, they are funny.

8. If you want to do a procedure on a patient and they or their family says no, you simply aren't smart enough to get them to change their mind. There is a way, figure it out.

9. The smartest doctors use vicodin.

10. Everyone lies.

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Top 10 list: Things that make me feel like I'm becoming a doctor (as of First Year)

EDIT (11/21): I had to add a number 11. Find it here.

I kindof had to make this list to convince myself that I'm actually in med school. Like I've mentioned before, our first semester is a lot of just basic biology, things I learned in undergrad (biochem, physiology, etc.), so I can't help but feel that I'm still just taking more biology classes. Until I get to third year, where I report to the hospital every day (and on weekends...and I am given evening shifts...And I'm put on call...) it still seems kindof like school, still. Hopefully this changes a bit in January when we start going through the body organ systems, block by block. Until then, I have this list to go by:

10. Got my second issue of the CMAJ today
It always makes me feel like a member of the profession.

9. Calculating IV infusion rates
Finally, there is an applicable use for algebra and natural log calculations. Boy, was I rusty on those for a while, though!

8. Getting my ID tags
I wear these a bit too often, my excuse being because they're on the same retractable carrier as my bus pass. The third-years make fun of me.

7. Being allowed to shadow doctors in the area
It's hard to arrange this when you're a pre-med!! I've already shadowed an ER doc back home, an ER doc here, and going to shadow a surgeon next Monday.

6. Learning how to interview actor patients in my interviewing class

5. Interviewing real patients in the family practice clinic

4. Getting sworn at by a patient in the family practice clinic for asking questions I was told to ask in my interviewing class
I'll definitely tell this story soon!! EDIT (11/20): This post is now available here. (Title will be: "Don't ask shit questions" - To FIFE or not to FIFE. Another time, though; I'm keeping busy and don't have the time right now).

3. Cadaver lab
Partly because I get to wear scrubs, and partly because this was something I envisioned doing when I got to medical school, since not many people get this privilege.

2. Giving injections
This isn't #1 because some of my friends who were in nursing when I took my undergrad were giving injections way before me, so I was jealous of them and when I got to do it I only felt like I was caught up to them.

1. Getting my stethoscope
The excitement of this has started to wear off, but the day I got it I felt like I was pretty much ready to graduate and be called "Doctor". Don't laugh. Small things amuse small minds. And when you pay that much for something, you may as well appreciate it.

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Top 10 list: Things you don't want to hear in the cadaver lab

Our group got a little carried away with our lab the other day, in a good way. Tasked to find the part where the thoracic duct drains into the bloodstream, as well as perhaps the vagus nerve and its branch the recurrent laryngeal nerve, instead of being one of the first groups done - our usual reputation - we chose to be thorough.
It was worth it, too. We learned so much. We impressed even the lab instructors. And we were really into it. So into it, in fact, that at the end of it, my lab partner told me he might have been a little too close to resting his chin on an exposed surface of the cadaver while peering in at the details of the mediastinum. So close, in fact, that the #2 on the list below was actually said to me. (I wish I could give him the coveted #1 spot...but you'll probably agree that the premier location has been rightfully assigned.)

And so, amidst this outstanding level of learning which will undoubtedly make us better clinicians due to our increased level of knowledge thanks to our body donor, was born the idea for the latest Top 10 list, Things You Don't Want to Hear in the Cadaver Lab. I encourage you to not read on should you be sensitive or assume that humour in the cadaver lab is unconditionally synonymous of a lack of respect. That being said, the list lies below, complete with colour commentary.

10. "Um, you got me in the eye with that splatter."
Actually heard.

9. "Um, you got me in the mouth with that splatter."
Actually heard. Not by me, fortunately. But it's a horror story that still looms from last year's class. Maybe I'll tell it in its entirety sometime.

8. "It happens."
The anatomy prof's actual response to a student uttering number 10 to him, said while he kept chiseling at the vertebrae without so much as looking up.

7. "Hey! That looks like pulled pork!"
Actually heard. I haven't eaten pulled pork...or spare ribs...since.

6. "OUCH"
Bad enough if it's a student saying this. The person who suggested this as an addition to this list, though, was thinking, 'what if the cadaver...' - - - nevermind. That being said, one person in my group did get the cadaver's hand caught in their lab coat last time...it was somewhat eerie how the cadaver apparently 'grabbed' her, with enough force to undo a button on her lab coat...

5. "Let me just tug a bit on this spermatic cord."
Actually heard. Fortunately, the prof was not referring to a body part other than the spermatic cord.

4. "This might make you a bit squeamish..."
Actually heard. The prof was right. Whenever the scalpel meanders over to the inguinal area, brace yourself.

3. While putting a foot into the body cavity: "I'm going to jump right in, swim down the aorta, and take a look. No, it's okay - I saw this on the Magic Schoolbus once."
This one didn't happen. Fortunately.

2. "Do I have a piece of pleura in my teeth?"
Actually heard.

1. "Grandma?!"
...upon removal of the bags on the cadaver's heads. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.

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Top 10 list: Things I love about med school so far (or, Med school is so...slack?!)

First an apology: I haven't posted in over a week because my computer died and I've been wrestling with the big box store for repairs. They gave me a replacement system...but they also 'accidentally' wiped out my hard drive too. Back up your stuff, people. Do it.

Okay, I know the title for this post is pretty much the exact opposite of everything that you have ever heard in your life about med school, even if you have never been a science student. And I know by reading that there are medical students and professionals who, upon reading that, will a) question the legitimacy of my medical education; b) rain down words of warning about how the first bit is no indication whatsoever of what is to come. To the medically unfamiliar, I will explain that the first term is designed to catch up people who didn't come from a science background and get everyone on an even playing field. And to the medically experienced, I will say I know very well what I'm in for as soon as first term is over, and that I am quite clear on the fact that it only gets worse from there (I need not even mention third year). No need to warn me.

That being said, I will now provide you with a list of things I love about med school so far:

1. It's so slack. So far. Yeah we're in class 8-5, so I'm pretty busy, but as far as work or memorization goes it's not bad at all and it's pretty interesting stuff. And yeah we have 20-60 mins of homework twice a week, but it involves looking up stuff I'm curious about anyways. I am enjoying this breeze of a workload while it lasts (because it will not be for long).

2. Pass/fail. No pressure. No competition. P=M.D. All I gotta do is pass. Trust me, I'll aim higher, but it takes a lot of stress away from having to freak out about doing really well and learning the extra, useless details.

3. My M.D.ID card. All of us got an ID card from our regional medical association today, which is affiliated with the national medical association. Best of all: instead of "Mr. Vitum Medicinus," my name is clearly indicated as "Dr. Vitum Medicinus." I'm going to let that 'accidentally' fall out of my wallet many a time when I'm around attractive women!!! My hospital id is pretty rad, too.

4 Free stuff. Free backpack embroidered with the logos of the above associations (a nice one, too!); free rubber tomahawk reflex hammer (awesome!), and lots of free food every so often.

5. Toys. Even though I'm paying a pretty penny for them, in about a month I'll get my brand new stethoscope and diagnostic set in the mail. My friend told me that she expects me to sleep with the stethoscope around my neck. She's right; I likely will.

6. The people. I did NOT think that a group of a couple hundred former pre-med students would be so fun! Everyone has such amazing, diverse backgrounds, stories, and they ALL love to partay. Thank God for the interview process. The geeks are weeded out! Well, 99.5% of them...which leads me to the next point:

7. Making fun of "that guy." As we expected there's a "that guy" who chooses to raise his hand every class and ask stupid questions, using the class as a forum for personal debate with the professor at the expense of class time. The entire class lets out a sigh when the hand goes up... I honestly wonder what his patients will think of him. Oh well, there's a reason he's here too.

8. The relevance of everything. Like I mentioned before, almost everything I'm learning I no longer have to ask, "when will I ever have to use this?" It's all applicable. It's awesome. It's nice being able to enjoy my classes.

9. Learning from cadavers. This week we turned our cadavers over onto their backs for the first time to dissect the chest and see the muscles. Some of them had pacemakers which was really cool to see. Our anatomy prof is amazing, and by only focusing on such a tiny part each lab, we're learning so much.

10. Working with professionals. They do a great job of making sure we have a few different ways to learn the information: lectures, organized workshops (go through questions in a small group with a tutor), courses structured entirely as small group learning, etc. Whenever we're in a small group, they pair us up with a professional. It is so much better discussing how to interview patients in a small group with your tutor who is a doctor who has experience, or working through genetics problems with a person who is not a genetics masters student but a clinical genetic counsellor with >25 yrs of experience. They just add so much more to the discussion and experience.

I'm having the time of my life so far. And again, for those of you veterans disgusted with my euphoric honeymoon stage, no need to warn me, I know this is NO indication what the rest of it will be like. Until that kicks in, though, I'll keep jumping out of bed in the mornings.

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Top 10 list: Things I learned in med school orientation

Fortunately, I learned a lot about med school through my recently-acquired hobby of reading med blogs. However, believe it or not, I did actually learn some things in orientation, though they were somewhat spread out, and not all of them were in the orientation sessions (see #8).

10 Statistics show that the people who are unprofessional in med school are the ones most likely to get sued later in their career.

9 Apparently the people who are training me to become a doctor are dumbfounded by a simple technical device known to many as the "wireless microphone." I was hoping their technological incompetence would end with their nearly unusable online admissions form - I was hoping for far too much.

8 If you're on a bus, and the back door closes before you have the chance to get out, yell "Back Door!" at the top of your lungs. The back door will then magically open. (Don't laugh, I haven't lived downtown since I was young. And I've already taught this pearl to someone else.)

7 I'm expected to buy about $2,000 of textbooks. Some second-year students have advised me to only buy 2, as there are many textbooks online.

6 I will spend the next four years and beyond in class from 8-5 and studying thereafter. Unfortunately, sleep, along with blog updates, will be rare, if existent.

5 I should be ready for some crazy bitch who could try to con me into doing something that she wants.

4 My parents are probably more excited about me being here than I am.

3 There are doctors who will develop illegal drug addictions. There are resources designed especially for them.

2 I will learn 18,000 new words over the next four years.

1 It's true. Med students work hard, and party hard. My class is full of amazing people and they LOVE to party. Even the 2nd years come to the 1st year events. Apparently there just isn't enough fun to be had.

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