...the media never really represents the tuba-playing, soccer-playing, science-loving, bird-watching girl because she's just not an easy sell.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
The Demographics of Our Personal Bubble
Of the seventeen people in the room, we had five men and twelve women. One of the five guys is gay, two of the women are for sure and a third pings strongly. One person of the seventeen is a semi-observant Jew, but as far as I know none of the others currently adheres to a religious affiliation; at least five of these are strongly opposed to organized religion of any strain. Ten are married, two are in committed but non-state-sanctioned relationships. Four that I know of have been divorced. Nine have kids. Two are vegetarian. All have at least a bachelor's degree; six hold a master's, and eight have doctorates. Everyone votes Democratic, as far as I know.
Spending 40-odd hours a week in this environment, and then spending a significant chunk of my weekend time with my soccer team (5 dykes out of 15 women on the roster), at Bookman's, or at Trader Joe's (helloooooo) means that most of my daily interactions take place within a very progressive sphere. My experience with homophobia has largely been voyeuristic, reading stuff in the paper or online, wondering what it would be like to face bigots in real time, separated only by the air we both breathe. Secondhand accounts, pounding out fuming responses to comments on blogs and online newspapers... my anger is real and feels visceral enough, but still I sense the separation between my theoretical sparring with anonymous posters via pixels on the screen and a face-to-face confrontation.
In my world--despite what my apparent fixation on gay issues for this blog would suggest--I think of myself as just another person. Teh Gay is a part of my identity, but it's allowed to languish pretty far down on the list of attributes. To borrow a vile phrase from the bigots, my sexuality isn't shoved into my face by people who would define me solely on the basis of who I happen to fall in love with, who would reduce my entire being down to a specific sex act based on my wardrobe or the way I carry myself or the fact that, as a straight friend once pointed out, I don't get a lot of attention from the guys at the Ace Hardware because I walk in looking like I "know how to do projects." Got no experience with harassment in the workplace. The home loan officer didn't bat an eye when my partner and I sat down to sign the mortgage papers together. The lady at the gym approved my request for a family membership and looked at me like I was weird for doubting that same-gender heads of household qualify as a family under their policies.
So I worry, sometimes, that my bubble has built a false sense of security in my head (similar to this couple in Wisconsin). I felt it with each new state constitutional amendment that passed in November, felt it for sure when Prop 107 here in Arizona was defeated by a much closer margin than I had anticipated. The naive question keeps bumping up against the inside of my skull: who are these people? How can anyone still be so mean-spirited? I will find out, I'm sure, sooner or later. No bubble lasts forever.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Election Posthash
Prop 107, which would have amended the AZ Constitution to ban not only same-sex marriage but also civil unions and any other contractual relationship between two unmarried people intended to provide some of the protections of marriage, was very narrowly defeated. On the surface, it's great, at least until the next election when it inevitably creeps back onto the ballot. The underlying bits bother me.
2006 General Election (Unofficial Results) Produced by the Arizona Secretary of State's Office | PROPOSITION 107 Protect Marriage Arizona |
County | Yes | No | Totals | Polls | Polls Reporting | Percent of Polls |
Apache | 6,715 | 6,897 | 13,612 | 45 | 45 | 100.0 |
Cochise | 17,588 | 13,962 | 31,550 | 64 | 64 | 100.0 |
Coconino | 13,144 | 19,152 | 32,296 | 85 | 84 | 98.8 |
Gila | 7,610 | 6,951 | 14,561 | 39 | 39 | 100.0 |
Graham | 5,008 | 2,257 | 7,265 | 18 | 18 | 100.0 |
Greenlee | 1,077 | 834 | 1,911 | 8 | 8 | 100.0 |
La Paz | 1,833 | 1,703 | 3,536 | 12 | 12 | 100.0 |
Maricopa | 301,876 | 316,264 | 618,140 | 1,142 | 1,142 | 100.0 |
Mohave | 20,768 | 15,575 | 36,343 | 73 | 73 | 100.0 |
Navajo | 12,120 | 9,584 | 21,704 | 70 | 70 | 100.0 |
Pima | 94,502 | 127,356 | 221,858 | 409 | 409 | 100.0 |
Pinal | 27,241 | 25,387 | 52,628 | 74 | 74 | 100.0 |
Santa Cruz | 3,469 | 4,199 | 7,668 | 24 | 24 | 100.0 |
Yavapai | 27,113 | 24,983 | 52,096 | 104 | 104 | 100.0 |
Yuma | 11,167 | 8,726 | 19,893 | 42 | 42 | 100.0 |
Total | 551,231 | 583,830 | 1,135,061 | 2,209 | 2,208 | 100.0% |
Percentage | 48.6 | 51.4 | | | | |
The proposition lost in only five counties. Granted, three of those are the population centers of the state, but hey, so much for that live-and-let-live independent mindset the denizens of the great western frontier so love to tout. Yeah, I'm a little bitter this morning. Add in the landslide victories for three rather nasty anti-immigrant propositions and I'm appalled to be a resident of this state.
Give people the chance to anonymously gobsmack somebody else and they'll take it. Think making English the "official language" of Arizona is going to stop illegal immigration? Think denying illegals bail, or preventing them from collecting civil damages in lawsuits will stop the tide? If you do, you're nuts. And if you know full well that none of those measures will do a damn thing to stop illegal immigration but you voted for them anyway out of vindictiveness, hey, you're a swell human being.
Jesus.
Seven other states merrily passed their own anti-gay marriage amendments. South Dakota Amendment C (no gay marriage, no civil unions): passed, 52%. Colorado Amendment 43 (no gay marriage): passed, 56%. For good measure, Coloradans also rejected Referendum I, which would have explicitly extended certain rights to gay couples, such as hospital visits and funeral arrangements.
That's correct. 53% of Colorado voters decided that gay couples should not have the automatic right to visit their partners in the ICU or to make funeral arrangements for them after they die. Chew on that for a moment.
Wisconsin Referendum 1 (no gay marriage, no civil unions): passed, 58%. Virigina Prop 1 (no gay marriage, no civil unions): passed, 59%. Idaho Amendment HJR 2 (no gay marriage, no civil unions): passed, 63%. South Carolina Amendment 1 (no gay marriage): passed, 78%. Tennessee Constitutional Amendment on Marriage (no gay marriage): passed, 81%.
Ultimately, it's all about power. Can't live with the knowledge that a couple of guys in Massachusetts wear rings that look an awful lot like the ones you and your wife sport? Then vote not only to keep Arizona gays from getting their own set, but, while you're at it, make sure they can't spend considerable sums of money to hire lawyers to draw up legal documents giving them the right to determine inheritance, share healthcare benefits, and, god forbid, make end-of-life medical decisions, oh yeah, as long as blood relations don't make too much of a stink or hospital personnel don't decide to ignore those documents on principle. That'll show those faggots, eh, buddy?
There's a mild debate simmering over on dKos about this. More than a few commenters argue that we pushed for too much too soon, that we should acquiesce and stroke the religious conservatives, caps in hand, mewlingly taking whatever small scraps of civil rights they can extend to us without gagging. We have to be patient, we have to wait until people are ready to let 10% of the population, tops, share the same rights and responsibilities that they do.
I call bullshit on that. Ellen Goodman said this way back in 2000:
But postwar generations have learned that you cannot wait until people, comfortable with their old narrow beliefs, become mysteriously ready for change.
It's those who step up, speak out, get out of the closet and do not quake at consequences who challenge old ideas with new realities. They change our world.
Seven more states are preparing to write bigotry into their constitutions, into those documents that were intended to preserve people's freedoms, not deny them. This is what my country thinks of people like me. This is what my country thinks of me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll feel more like celebrating. Today, not so much.