Memories

As if you'd only gone
on a holiday
everything tidied up
waiting for your return

The sun pouring in
but it was the low sun
of autumn
casting long shadows inside

Your home of many years
as you left it
that evening
back in August

You probably knew
you wouldn't be back
although there was always talk of
going home

Home you are now
together with your love
she was by the door that day
taking you away

She was in the room that day
wondering why
we were inside
on such a glorious day

The old clock on the wall
showed a little past one
as we said a final good-bye
until the Breaking of the Day

Not long now

Not long now
and we won't see you again
You are gone, but left to us
for a few more hours

Like our mutual friend
the trees look out
for your familiar form
as you pass under their boughs

The moors glance
across to the roadways
where you'd often
pass by

The house was empty
after your loved one
was gone
all those years back

You cared for her
with all the love
with all the strength
that love can impart

I saw her last
gliding from sight
framed in a train
carriage window

I saw you last
in a hospital bed
holding my hand
for a moment longer

You had achieved
what you wanted to
but didn't want to let go
until the Time came

Again, it'll be a warm
sunny day when
we say farewell
Gus am bris an latha

Shrinking world

From the shrinking world
of ancient age
You glimpse
What lies beyond

We spoke of
Matters long since gone
Where nothing more
Will change

Your house of
Many decades
Is still and
Waiting for your return

Where once were
Laughs and tears
Music and voices
Only memories now echo

You're on the edge
Pulled away yet
Through pure chance
So I could speak to you

The shingle path

I trod the path today
along the shingle shore
Fog hung low
over sea and hill

You were there
beside the quiet sea
but your spirit
was not

I know where to find it
and often I do
I remember you
and often I will

The markers stood
still
for eternity
and beyond

You will be with me
for the duration
although
I can't see, hear or touch you

You will be there
a smile by my shoulder
a guiding touch
until the Breaking of the Day
when the Shadows flee away

Sitting out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a day like today
you'd be sitting out the back
with the daily puzzle
and a cuppa tea

The sun would kiss you
The wind blowing gently
your stories
from years gone by

I sat out there today
half expecting you
to come out the door
with a tray

The wind whispered your name
the sun remembered your stories
the puzzles were reminded of you
and I'll never forget you

North and South

North and South
came together
many years
ago

From the distant South
back to the remote North
you returned
when you were but young

The roads remember
The railways recall
The signals swing
from green to red

You fulfilled your promise
you honoured those
who went on ahead
many moons ago

I was shown the island
by you
with pride
and with love

And when I travel its roads
and pass through its townships
The memories are there
of what we once had

Time marches forward
you'll always be
to my left
to keep an eye on me

Your time has concluded
but you aren't really gone
what you were rests now
but I carry you with me always

February 2022

I still see you

Every day

In that corner

With the cat by your side

Your voice follows me

And the island remembers you

From your ancestral roots

By the Atlantic shores

The big sky looks out for you

The ocean thunders your name

The hills gaze down

Wondering like me

The ancient stones know

The circle on the ridge

The treacherous one

Out in the moor 

The wistful beauty 

of Bosta and it's beach 

The sun glistens In countless lochs

Like tears in lidless eyes

The spiders still weave webs

In the shelter by the crossroads

We passed by 

Roving the island's roads

You took me 

Into your world

With pride,

And proud I would join you

Your world remembers you

And knows you are there

You are your world

And forever will be

The lonely road

The lonely road
ribbons out west
the mountains march
away in the distance

The moorland calls
you by your name
the hills look down
searching for you

The Atlantic shines
on the western horizon
the sun kisses
winter its colours

The old houses lean
into the rocky crags
the old mill
no longer mills

The stream babbles
its stories of years gone by
of your folks
long since gone on ahead

The years flow by
the rocks remain
remembering you
and the stories you told

The road rises high
the hills frown aloft
looking out for you
beyond this life

Barbara - mid December 2021

You were there for me
when I appeared
along the road
into your life

You were there for me
when I emerged
from the blackness
of the moorland

You were there for me
when I was lost
among the lochs
of the old island

You were there for me
so I was there for you
when old age appeared
so you could carry on

I was there for you
in your final year
as your world closed in
and became ever smaller

You were there for me
I was there for you
We were there
for each other

But now you're gone
I'll carry on
in your honour
and remembrance

Cemetery visit

The shoreline path
is my way
where distant islands
hover the horizon

Houses line the crest
of the brae above
shingle lies above
the sea

The old wall curves
sheltering
from the waves
of the bay

Markers galore
austere reminders
of those gone on
ahead

Many moons ago
after a full life
or cruelly
cut short

I acknowledge
your marker
your life
now fulfilled

I remember
as I stand there
the cold December wind
blowing over the wall

You've gone on ahead
but your spirit's with me
and always will be
gus am bris an latha

Reminders aplenty
of your life
and of your absence but
teichidh na sgàilean

Remembrance 2021 - Iolaire

By day and night
the crosses stand
as the waves rolled
them ashore

Looking south
whence they all came
to end on a
wave splashed rock

The seven seas
held no fear
for "fear na bàta"
of the heather isle

But the eagle swooped
that stormy night
and new year broke
with broken hearts

We now know
that all know
what was suffered
in nineteen nineteen

The island does not forget
who sacrificed their all
on its very shore
that new year's morn

Barbara - 11

Were they calling you
that night
Those who had gone on
ahead

You didn't want to come
yet
Although you thought
you were ready

Darkness surrounded you
only the familiar voices
echoing in
from this life

When morning came
and the sun rose
You flew away
over the crimson sea

Nothing will change now
in that patch beside the sea
Just the memories remain
behind the crumbling wall

I see you

I see you in the clouds
in the drizzle that falls
I hear you in the wind
sighing through the trees

You're smiling in the sun
that dapples the forest floor
in the flowers
of the Sunken Garden

I cannot see you
nor hear you
touch you
or talk to you

But wherever I find myself
you'll be with me
that much I know
this day, and all days

Barbara and the Fideach

I took you with me
this afternoon.
Borrowed you from the cemetery
They said you could come for an hour or two

You marvelled at the flowers
Smiled at the lambs gambolling
Wondered about the road to take
And let me step across the water

The Fideach smiled at you
the shells creaked underfoot
the water was warm
the sea twinkled in the sun

We saw the lonely beach
stretch into infinity
the planes whirred overhead
the birds called from afar

I took you back with me
along the long straight road
You smiled at me and said "thank you"
when your time was up

The sun was slowly westering
when your little black friend appeared
still awaiting your return
content, for now, with mine

The Sunken Garden

The tree's boughs swung in the gentle December breeze. Many a time had it been agitated by the gales of the north, but this day was quiet. The short daylight hours of winter were drawing to a close. Old autumn leaves rustled along the path leading past the tree. There had been another one, but it had succumbed to a January storm, some fifteen years previous. Memories stretched back further, of laughter, children playing in its shadows, the summer sun beaming down. Not this day, when the sun would barely reach the little feature over which the tree towered. These last couple of years, it had been recovered from wild and unfettered growth of plants and trees. Soon, a sundial would keep time and plants were due to be added in an orderly fashion. The paths led a couple of dozen yards in the direction of the woodland beyond, almost looking like the Greek letter ψ. However, the work was not yet complete. A small figure began to approach the tree. She walked slowly, aided by two sticks and two other people. Her white head stood out amongst the shadows under the tree. Looking around, the memories crowded round, of yesteryear, with young children laughing, having fun. She stopped by the tree and glanced at the garden which was still being worked on. An improvement. Gingerly turning round, she glanced up at the tree, its boughs gently swaying above her. Perhaps subliminally talking of past visits. Darkness almost imperceptibly deepened. She sighed and made to turn round, supported by the sticks and her companions. Slowly, she disappeared from sight. From the Sunken Garden. From the monkeypuzzle tree.

I was there, that day in December 2019. She had just been told of a life-ending illness, and this was her last visit to the Castle Grounds. Many lasts were to follow, and the end came the following October.

When I visit the Castle Grounds now, it is rare for me not to visit the Sunken Garden. I stop by the monkeypuzzle tree and look past the sundial. And I remember.

Barbara - 10

Little is now left
of what we had
just little notes
and now expired aides

I sometimes see you
in familiar places
smiling at me
as you did in those years

I know you hid your pain
the ravages of the illness
would not stop you
until you could do no more

Your world grew small
until that final night
the light grew into the sky
and you left at sunrise

Thank you for your kindness
thank you for your generosity
inclusivity
and thank you for sharing your life

I love you to bits
and pieces
I love you forever
and you'll be with me for all time

Still

It was still
when I returned,
your seat occupied
by your patient black friend

I miss
hearing your voice
I miss
seeing your smile

I miss
sensing your friendship
I miss
you

Barbara - 9

Two years ago
I returned to your door
and refound your smile
to greet my return

You always
expressed sadness
at being left behind
as those dear to you left

Little did I know,
although I had this feeling,
it would be you
leaving me, in time

I am left with memories
reminders
the remnants of routines
and the certainty of death

Only one does not understand
always checking your chair
in case you came back
after his last foray out

Six months ago
you smiled as wide
as the illness permitted
when you could see clearly again

Just ten days later
only you could see
as you had to leave us behind
to rejoin those you had lost

I'll look forward now
I'll be your clever boy
I can do nothing more
for you

World Poetry Day 2021

Looking out
over the morning sea
the lighthouse blinked
the clouds grew red

When the mainland hills
melted into the rising sun
your spirit soared
to the Isle of Eternal Youth

The spring is now empty
only memories remain
you'll be with me though
forever more

The Sunken Garden

I often retrace
your final steps
to the Sunken Garden
by the soaring tree

The sundial now stands
near where your walk
turned around
you retraced your steps

The way is lit
from the nearby Castle
the final light
by the soaring tree

I carried on
through the Sunken Garden
by the light of the moon
through the barren trees

I often look back
from the lofty terrace
to the sundial
and the soaring tree

I see your figure
reflecting on past visits there
looking around
turning finally back

You're by my side
when I tread the lit pathway
to the Sunken Garden
and the soaring tree