More Fun Than A Flaming Yule Log; My End Of Year Blog

I'm going to be 42 years old in two days. That makes me older than almost everyone who reads this Blog. How do I know? Google stats, bitches. They see you when you're sleeping, they know when you're awake, they know when you've been looking at my blog and touching yourself so stop that. Uh, for goodness sake.

So I was going to write my usual "Ten best records of the year" shit sandwich, but I care not for such ass-clownery at this point. I couldn't find ten new records I liked, really, so I decided to just prattle on about stuff that I did like this year.

Now, forgive me, because it's been a rough year and I could possibly be a bit grumpy. My Mom died this year, I embarked on yet another life changing move to yet another new city (Chicago, land of subway crappers and drive by shootings, not sure if I like that yet), I got a new job that I absolutely hate, have had no time to write or record any new music at all...eh, whatever. You've probably had it rough, too. Nobody's had it rougher than Justin Bieber, who has grown people plotting to kidnap and rape and kill him, all on account of the fact that his music is the equivalent of warm, stuck together gummy bears.

"So what DID you like this year, Chuck Matthews?" I hear you saying out there in the night like a bunch of rude grasshoppers rubbing their hairless leg-stalks together.

As the great Gene Vincent once sang, "Weeellllllllllll....."

NATIONAL TREASURE #1: The GREAT EL VEZ. You may have noticed the photo at the head of this blog post of one very pretty girl, one El Rey De Rock And Roll, and one very drunk guy in a stripey shirt. That's my wife Faith, El Vez "The Mexican Elvis", and me, your humble procrastinating genius. This was taken the other night in Chicago after yet another life affirming X-Mas extravaganza performance by El Vez, his band the Memphis Mariachis and his lovely backup singers, The El Vettes. This man has improved my outlook on life every single time I've seen him play (this was maybe the fifth or sixth time, can't remember). How does he do it? He uses a complex gumbo of political satire, Mexican pride, a mental library of every great song, move, joke, look and sound in rock'n'roll, and of course, the legendary coat tails of Elvis Presley. It's not Xmas until this guy pulls his bag of spangled jumpsuits into town. His show has not changed much in several years (he could probably benefit from including some more recent references musically), but it is the most fun holiday rock and roll show ever. One that doesn't skimp on the jokes, the theatre, or the actual rock and roll.

NATIONAL TREASURE #2: THE GREAT JD McPHERSON. I've been championing this cat since I first heard his record a few years back. Those of you who actually read and pay attention to my rantings here (and Google stats tells me that there's several thousand of you drooling internet weirdos) know that his disc "Signs And Signifiers" was my fave record of the year 2011. His combo of Little Richard/Larry Williams style vocals, jumpin' blues and rockabilly and "aw, shucks ma'am" nice guy-ness has been blowing people away all over the country while he and his band tour their many asses off playing every dive in the nation six times a year. This has all worked out very well for him, as he is now getting rave reviews from national big wigs like Rolling Stone Magazine, and appearing on every talk show in TV land (Leno, Conan, Letterman). JD and his amazing Chicago based band (who don't have a name, and probably should...) are an inspiration. His record, "Signs And Signifiers" is a couple years old now, but it never gets old for me.

GRAVEYARD: "Lights Out"
Everybody knows I'm a big fan of everything from the golden age (you'd call it "retro"), but most of you may not know that for me that includes not only the 50s and 60s, but the 70s as well. Graveyard are a Swedish rock and roll band that combines the best of obscure 1970s occult rock with howlin' blues riffs, a very bleak lyrical outlook and a singer that can shriek and howl like a wide eyed, straining, male Janis Joplin. alot of people say he sounds like Soundgarden's Chris Cornell but I don't give a crap about that. "Lights Out" is their new record and it's amazing. It rocks, it rolls, it's a bit of a downer, but in a great way. It's kind of like listening to Black Sabbath in Jimmy Page's recently renovated 1,000 year old castle in the bleakest of Swedish winter time forests while high on the pot drugs. You like that, don't you?

COCK GREASE POMADE:

I first saw advertising for this stuff on the walls of a bathroom in Austin, Texas at the Continental Club while I was taking a hurried pee-break in the middle of an awesome honky tonk set from Junior Brown. There were stickers that said "Cock Grease" on the walls and mirrors, and being the modest sort of old fashioned fella that I am, my cheeks sort of reddened in slight embarrassment. Then I laughed, then I peed. Then I went on with my life. Later I realized that Cock Grease was indeed a brand of pomade, and having spotted some in Chicago's "BROKEN CHERRY" shop, I bought a tin of it. My verdict? It's the stiffest pomade I've ever tried, in fact a little too stiff if you use the amount you'd normally use of another brand. If firm hold is your thing, look no further. And also, it smells AMAZING. Like honey and sugar cookies and candle wax. Mmmmm. Screw putting it in my hair, I'm going to put it on toast and eat it.

DOCUMENTARY OF THE YEAR:

"Color Me Obsessed: A Film About The Replacements"
This is a long awaited fan made doc about one of the greatest rock and roll bands of all time. Minneapolis power pop/rock/punk/alternative band the Replacements have influenced pretty much everyone who picked up a guitar since their reign as indie rock kings in the late 80s and very early 90s. This documentary features 1)No Replacements music 2) No Replacements live footage and 3)No interviews with actual band members. Despite that, it does have a lot of famous faces and many hilarious and awe inspiring stories. After watching it, you'll want to listen to their music, though, or better yet, just play one of their records while the DVD is playing. Essential.

DIG THE BRAND NEW BREED: Kurt Baker's new record "Brand New Beat" on Jolly Ronnie Records is a modern day revisionist history of power pop that favors the populist (Rick Springfield, Butch Walker, The Knack) as well as the cult (Big Star, Paul Collins, The Jags) sides of the genre. A new classic and you heard that here first.

That's my year end wrap up. I can't think of anything else right now that I actually liked this year. There are a few things I could mention like LAURIES PLANET OF SOUND RECORD STORE in Lincoln Square, Chicago. They're my new fave record store in my new fave neighborhood in Chi-town.

Let's kiss this year goodbye as it shimmies it's rotten stinking way out the door, and hope the next year is better, shall we? Toodles, kids.

That Greasy Kid Stuff-- All about Pomades!

Back in the day, when men took pride in looking smart and sharp for their work day, it was unheard of to be seen in public without a fair amount of grease in one's hair. A man's hair was meant to be neatly combed, slicked back and shiny. This is one of the many great male traditions that have fallen by the wayside since the late 1960s. The "hippy" look (long unkempt hair, baggy dirty clothes, pit stains on virtually everything) might have been a reaction against the overly stuffy, dressed up look of the previous thirty years, and perhaps it was a relief to some people.

But most people, once they "let their hair down" never put it back up again. As a result, the sharp neatness of a man's appearance has gone the way of the Victrola and the Edsel. Sweat pants, baseball caps, terrible white plastic running shoes, shapeless haircut,baggy jeans, sports T shirts. This is what a "man" looks like today. If, heaven forbid you are into the very retro idea of looking sharp, then you sir must be a homosexual. Sure, I love the idea that gay men have kept the retro look alive for years, but that's not my subject here. I'd like your basic straight man on the street to start giving a crap about his appearance again, and I'll bet alot of you ladies and fellas would enjoy that as well.

Lately, largely because of the success of retro themed TV shows like the brilliant "Mad Men", the hipster on the street is now (at least in small numbers) starting to sport nicely cut hair and the slick, pomaded look is coming back amongst the clued in. Not so much among the Bud Lite and Nascar crowd, but you can't have everything. NOT that I have anything against Bud Lite or Nascar, as I know some fine people who are into those things, but it just isn't for me.

Of course, the Rockabilly and Swing communities have been all about this all along.

I've been greasing up my head grass since around 1994, when I first starting getting deeply into rockabilly. My tastes have grown and matured, and I have had different looks over the years, but I have always returned to the pompadour. I cut and styled my own hair for years, but since moving back to Michigan I found a great Detroit area barber shop (The Chop Shop in Berkley), who specialize in period haircuts.



People ask me about it sometimes. "How do you get your hair like that?" and "What's that goop on your head?" If they seen genuinely interested I'll give them advice on what to use. As you might guess I've used alot of different varieties of "greasy kids' stuff" over the years. Here are a few of my faves.



POMADES:

Murray's Superior Pomade(Known as "The Orange Can")--
Here is where the rockabilly journey begins, for nearly everyone. It's either this, or Dax (known as "The Red Can"). Dax is getting harder and harder to find these days, so most greasers go right to the sticky stuff, The Orange Can. Sticky it is. a handful of this stuff will last you a week or so of regular every day wear. That's right. Put it in your hair on Monday, and don't wash your hair til next Sunday. Even if you'd like to wash your hair, this stuff ain't coming out. Rain, sleet, snow, a hurricane: your hair ain't going anywhere, cat. Yes, it is greasy and sticky and it will end up on everything you own. Your clothes, pillowcases, doorknobs, faucets, your cat, your wife or girlfriend or boyfriends' face, the Murray's will find it's way there. Having said that, it smells great, really masculine and clean, with a slight honey-like undertone. And it holds. Man, does it ever hold.



Murray's Nu-Nile-- Another great Murray's product. Murray's is a hair care company out of Detroit, Michigan that started in the mid to late 1940s. they initially catered to African American men for the most part, but the 1950s greaser trend found them a new and very loyal clientele, which stands to this day. All Murray's products can still be found in the African American health and beauty section of any drugstore anywhere. Nu-Nile is a great pomade. Ever so slightly lighter than the Orange Can, and smelling much the same, Nu Nile gives you a wetter, less waxy look while still providing the really super strong hold. It's also a bitch to wash out, but it does wash out with a couple of tries, unlike the Orange Can stuff, which just gets harder and harder the more water you put on it. It isn't *quite* as greasy and sticky as the orange can, but it's close. This is what my barber recommended to me and I use it regularly.

There are several more expensive, "boutique" pomades marketed directly to the rockabilly crowd. Hawleywood's Layrite, Mr Ducktail, Cock Grease, Voodoo Brew, American Greaser Supply Co, etc all make nicely packaged, fun and collectible pomades that are pretty much versions of the above two Murray's products with varying scents and thickness.

GREASELESS HAIR CONTROL:

As a rule, I do not ever endorse hair gels. These products are for the Ryan Seacrests of the world, with their fake spiky haircuts and their stupid trendy clothes. However, there is one, and one only, exception to this rule. American Crew Classic Firm Hold.



I hate to even describe it as a "gel", because of the unpleasant images that word puts in my brain-pan. Club hopping Jersey Shore types using handfuls of fruity smelling, bubbly pink goop to spike up their badly cut fades. As you can see though, Am-Crew is not pink, it's packaged in a classy and masculine brown bottle, and it smells fresh and clean, like a barber shop. This product is actually used on the TV show "Mad Men", for outdoor scenes where hair has to stay in place. I personally use it when I'm sick of having so much grease in my hair. Every few weeks it's good to wash all the pomade out, use a different product and give your scalp-astrotrurf a break. One of the drawbacks of pomade is that it will in some cases give you acne on your scalp and hairline. It does occasionally do this to me. So when I get a flare up, and I'm tired of all the grease, I'll go back to American Crew for a couple of days. Now, this product does dry hard like a gel. You can re-animate the slick look with just a little water, but if you do that too many times over the course of a day you will wash the product out and end up with a huge puff of hair on top of your head instead of the slick bad ass-ness you started off with. So use with caution.



Groom And Clean and Brylcreem---

Neither of these can really be called pomades, nor are they really gels. They are both traditional hair products that have been used for years and years. Neither is found in the hair styling section at your local drugstore. They are actually found, in most stores, in the shaving and/or men's toiletries section, near the "Just For Men" hair dyes and the shaving creams and razors.

Brylcreem is a super traditional, ages old product. It's packaging will claim that it's "never greasy", but that is not at all true. Basically it's a light hold pomade/grease in a tube. It smells good and is uber-traditional, but does not have the hold of a pomade or gel.

Groom And Clean is a different matter. It also comes in a tube, and usually sits right next to the Brylcreem at your local Walgreen's, CVS or Rite Aid. However the stuff that comes out when you squeeze the tube looks like toothpaste, and smells like a delicious cinnamon pumpkin bread. It's a clean, sweet smell that people either love or hate. I love it. I suppose what it actually is is an early version of a gel. When the Groom and Clean box tells you that the product is "greaseless", it's not lying. It holds well and washes right out, while giving you a bit of the "slick" look you're going for. Again, I use this when I'm tired of the grease, and when I want more hold and shine than the Am-Crew gives me. I've been using it alot lately.

Here's a great 1950s Brylcreem commercial. I'm not sure I agree with it's claims, but it has the exact mood you want when you're doing your hair. Ain't that jingle catchy? Almost makes me want to give Brylcreem another chance!
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In short, if you are interested in looking sharp and clean like real men did in the 1930s-1960s, the above guide is a good start for you. And if I haven't presented you with enough choices, here are a couple of links to help you out.

Slickville: This is a site all about pomades, retro hairstyles, and anything goopy you can use in your hair. I love it!
http://www.slickville.com

The Rebel Rouser: Here is a great blog with Pomade Reviews and commentary. This guy collects pomades and knows pretty much everything there is to know.
http://therebelrouser.wordpress.com

I guess in closing, the thing I want y'all to remember most of all is to have fun with it, and find your own personal style. It ain't easy bein' greasy.