One of Those Days

Did you ever have one of those days when you can’t seem to get anything done? Actually, I think I’ve had that feeling almost since mid-March 2020. With places closed, lockdowns, isolating, and almost complete boredom, I feel like I have lost the past year of my life. And as a retiree, I really can’t afford to lose a year here or there!

 

Hubs and I are trying to get an appointment to get the COVID-19 vaccine, our state opened it to our age group a little while back, but there doesn’t seem to be enough supply to go around. I am not thrilled about the idea of taking the vaccine, but I am also not thrilled about the idea of possibly getting sick with the COVID virus. Yes, I do believe there is such a threat out there, it’s not a hoax, I know folks who have had it and while, yes, for some it seemed like a bad case of the flu, I’ve known others who have been hospitalized for months… and I’ve known a couple who have died after getting sick with it. Having a pre-existing condition doesn’t make you die, folks who have had pre-existing conditions have usually lived a lot of years WITHOUT dying.

 

But I digress. I am looking forward to seeing family and friends again, to going into a restaurant with my husband and having a nice dinner out, to going into the local casino (I may not be a big gambler, but I do enjoy that), and most of all not feeling so trapped. I’ve been very blessed to be “isolated” with my husband and to have family and friends who don’t mind spending some time on ZOOM or one of the other internet-based communication methods. I’ve gotten to attend a few conferences VIRTUALLY, I attend my RWA chapter board meetings online, once in a while I sit in my easy chair at home and watch my community’s Board of Directors as they deal with our POA’s business, I had the opportunity to sit in on the live streams of two family weddings, and of course I interact with lots of friends on FaceBook.

 

But I want a feeling of normalcy again. Passover is a little more than a month away and I would love to have my kids and their spouses at the table — last Passover my daughter “hosted” the second seder night on ZOOM. I have a grand niece who will soon be one whole year old… and I’ve never seen her in person. And I miss seeing peoples’ smiles, I want to see mouths again.

 

I LOST A YEAR OF MY LIFE AND
I CAN’T WAIT TO START LIVING AGAIN!
(sorry for the outburst)

 

When life is really open again, I mean when we can get together without counting the heads, when we don’t have to strain to hear each other from behind the masks, and when we can shake someone’s hand and hug our loved ones — what do YOU plan to do first? I’m thinking maybe going to a movie theatre, if any of them are still open that is.

 

 

What did 2020 teach you?

 

2020 was a horrific year. But there were a few upsides to the year: we learned how to spend quality family time in our households; we learned how to cook and not be so dependent on going out to eat; we learned creative ways to stay in touch with family and friends outside of the household; we learned that living room carpets were a good place to practice Yoga; and most of all I think we learned to value our families.

For each of us 2020 presented different challenges, but many of us tried to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe by wearing masks (even if we hated them... the masks, not the family). Some weathered tremendous financial losses when businesses shut down. The CDC is now saying “close to 100 million people have had it, close to 45 million have been sick by it and around 2.5 million people have been to the hospital for it”. And let us not forget that more than 350-thousand have died from it.

There were also many acts of generosity and heroism. Many folks helped others by providing food at foodbanks, some even started local foodbanks in their communities, dropped off clothes and coats at local collection centers, and supported local restaurants by ordering take-out/pick-up service. Teachers went above and beyond by not only appearing on ZOOM to teach students, but some even made deliveries of school items to students’ homes and gave their students extra attention and help when possible. Nurses, doctors, Paramedics, EMTs and other first responders worked around the clock caring for those who were stricken by the disease

Some businesses tried to help by offering discounts, rebates, and delivery services. Restaurateurs delivered free food to overworked EMS agencies and healthcare workers. People in metropolitan and suburban areas displayed signs thanking essential workers and cheering daily at 6PM. Video App companies made it possible for holiday family “gatherings” as close as your computer or cell phone. Streaming services hosted special entertainment and performances. And museums, educational conventions, libraries, and some religious institutions went online so no one had to miss out on sights, lessons, and comfort that people wanted.

When this all simmers down, hopefully soon, what will be the things we take from our myriad of experiences? It’s my personal hope that we will take with us a sense of community, the knowledge that even as we sat isolated in our homes, we were never truly alone. I hope that the fact that so many of the poor and homeless were affected disproportionally will strengthen our commitment to help all, that we are all neighbors, that we are all human beings. It would be nice to move forward with feelings of generosity, concern, compassion, and humbleness. Maybe, just maybe, we can cooperate with each other, no matter what gender, color, orientation, political ideology, religion, or economic status anyone is.

While we mourn our losses, let us also celebrate our strengths.

“Just do right. Right may not be expedient, it may not be profitable, but it will satisfy your soul. It brings you the kind of protection that bodyguards can’t give you. So try to live your life in a way that you will not regret years of useless virtue and inertia and timidity. Take up the battle. Take it up. It’s yours. This is your life. This is your world.” ~ Maya Angelou

Family and the Pandemic

 

In the last eight months or so we’ve all had an extreme case of separation, separation from our extended families, our friends, our jobs, and a way of life where we felt (more) carefree. COVID-19 has disrupted our lives and it looks like, unfortunately, it’s going to continue interrupting life as we wish it would be for a while yet.

 For years I watched some of my extended family deal with their military children overseas and wondered how they could contend with that time and distance separating them. My children and their spouses live within a few hours from where we live, all four are in first-response and health/wellness, and I consider myself lucky having seen each of them (in person) two or three times each since February.

 So how have we coped? It really hasn’t been easy. Fortunately all of our immediate family and most of our extended family have gotten used to various visual and audio means of communication; of course there have been phone calls and emails as well. We watched, via the power of the internet, a niece get married, and a few months later a nephew tied the knot. We enjoyed a multi-household abbreviated Passover Seder together via ZOOM, and our daughter and son-in-law broke the Yom Kippur fast with us through the same online app.

 And we’ve had the opportunity to attend community board meetings and a few interesting seminars. I even got to attend my first ever Romance Writers’ Conference virtually! So we’ve had interaction beyond the occasional trips to the supermarket (where I feel like a bandit adorned with my mask!) and our routine doctor visits which have graduated from tele-visits to the office. With both of us retired, we haven’t had to deal with routine office work; except for the first-responders in our family, most of our working relatives have been working from home — we’re lucky in that several of our extended family have been able to maintain at least some of their employment.

 I can’t help but think back to my childhood and wonder how we would have survived without so many ways to virtually interact, or how my folks would have dealt with the concept of home-schooling my sister and me without online learning. How did folks and families survive the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic? Today in 2020 the separation stings… but the lack of communication venues more than 100-years before was so much less than today. I can’t even imagine. Right now I just want to hug my kids.

 And yet, even with all of our advances, so many of us are battling with depression and feelings of isolation. Even when we are outside, we can’t come near others, many grocery stores still have six-foot reminders on the floor. When we say hello to someone, we can’t even see their mouths because of our masks. I certainly am NOT advocating that we do not use masks or social distancing, more than 225-thousand deaths prove that we need to do whatever we can to protect ourselves and our loved ones. But even when we are near others, the feelings of loneliness are enforced. Many of the things we used to do for enjoyment and socializing are now taboo, or at least severely limited… no movie theatres, limited restaurants, or other leisure activities. Everyday we seem to hear of another business closing permanently because they couldn’t survive the necessary shutdowns. It’s just sad.

 As we are heading into the holiday season we’re once again trying to juggle. Big family dinners are probably not going to happen; even if we feel safe enough to have some family together, we need to be wary of including some who might be quite vulnerable. Maybe we’ll need to turn to ZOOM again in order to share? Those of us whose major concern might be choosing between ZOOM or Facebook Rooms to share this holiday season need to remember there are those who have lost loved ones, who are in danger of losing their homes, or might not be able to put a holiday meal on their table.

 If you or a loved one is suffering from “COVID depression/anxiety”, take care of yourself and those around you (easier said than done?). Be sure to reach out to your family and friends, especially those who might live alone or feel more isolated from their loved ones — pick up a phone, send an email or do a “drive-by” and wave through the window. If you are able, think of others, send a pizza to an on-duty ambulance crew, or a boxed dinner on the doorstep of a neighbor who needs help. Helping others can help you to feel better. Get involved with activities in your own home, play board games, watch a movie on TV together, and look for on-line seminars and video tours. And if seems really too much for you, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for English, or 1-888-628-9454 for Spanish.

 

We will get through this.

 

 

 

#StayAtHome

The curve is flattening! And that is good news indeed, but it doesn’t mean that the danger is over. The COVID-19 virus is still out there. Because of the STAY-AT-HOME orders that many governors imposed, and because of the folks that chose to heed the advice as well as wear masks and gloves when they NEEDED to go out the rate of infection is slowing. This doesn’t mean it’s safe to gather in large groups YET, or that we could come and go freely in and out of stores and other attractions… This does prove that self-isolation and personal protection IS helping, for now it’s a good idea to continue, as we can, social distancing.

But we all know being stuck in the house can be
B O R I N G. There is only so much television to watch and only so much junk food to keep eating. And if your children are home from school (many schools will remain closed for the balance of the school year), well, there’s a reason you chose NOT to home school! Besides you probably miss your family and friends and even if you have immediate household members with you during this seeming house arrest, it can get lonely.

We will probably have more time ahead of us that we are expected to #StayAtHome but it doesn’t have to be quite as boring or lonely. If you have a phone, a smart-phone and/or computer, internet, a television, or some of the 2020s technology, there are things to do for YOU alone, for your family, and for your relatives and friends sequestered elsewhere.

Use the internet to travel! Yes, you can visit so many interesting places in a virtual state of mind. Take the family on a virtual tour of 6 National Parks in the South, you don’t even need to check your luggage, https://bit.ly/2xbafwg or decide to visit some fantastic online museums at https://bit.ly/2Vwi7jQ . Are you looking for something you AND your kids can enjoy together (as well as sneaking in some terrific learning opportunities)? Choose from several virtual field trips including farms, zoos, volcanoes, and mystery — just book yourself online at https://bit.ly/2V9m5jz. Who says you just have to stare at the same four walls?

It’s a great time to enrich yourselves both physically and mentally. Find lots of online exercise programs from Aerobics to Zumba. Just type exercise programs into your search bar and find free online videos of Cardio, Yoga, Pilates, Barre, strength training, muscle building, dance and more. You can even find age appropriate programs for kids to seniors. Check out Silver Sneakers for adults over 50 at https://youtu.be/3vMRccmpXC8, relieve some of the stress you been feeling with a free Yoga meditation class at https://bit.ly/2XAZttV, or help your kids work out some of their pent-up energy at https://youtu.be/WxSexSQJmKY.  

Keep your students learning or just augment online lessons from your child’s teacher, sign up for a FREE account at https://www.khanacademy.org/, various subjects are included for K through grade 12. And why not take the time to learn a variety of subjects for yourself? Check out free online First Aid, CPR and AED courses https://www.firstaidforfree.com/ , learn a language for free at https://www.duolingo.com/, develop creative writing skills with the original blogs that the Living, Writing, Breathing Amazon Kindle Blog was based on at https://bit.ly/2Vtk80i, or take college level classes for free (nominal fee for final exams) at https://bit.ly/2yj5bFX. And don’t forget to check online resources on your local library’s website, your library card is usually needed for access.

Finally while you may not be able to have face-to-face in person contact with your extended family and friends, there is NO reason you can’t spend time together. Download free apps from SKYPE or ZOOM for group get togethers, or Facebook messenger video chat for just two locations. Celebrate happy occasions, share Sunday dinners (each have your own dinners and share table chat), or even have fun trivia games, charades or even book club meetings over the internet! Whether you use a computer or just call people on the phone, hearing each other’s voices will do you all a world of good.

I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of our 1^st Responders, Medical Professionals and essential workers who are helping to keep our country running.

Wishing you all health and safety and a time when we can all meet again.

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#StayAtHome  Prevent the Spread