"I THINK THAT BAKING IS KIND OF LIKE... PARENTING." There's a new My Drunk Kitchen!

UPDATE: Oh yes, this "Mountain Goats of Base" video is immensely endearing. With hand gestures!

"THE TACO IS THE MOST VERSATILE FRUIT." This series is so funny I actually started crying with laughter. Amazing. Rough language and, well, drunken cookery.

"NOW I'M A LAMP." A couple cheap or obvious ones, but most of these are great. Via TKB.

ONLINE YA FICTION DYSTOPIA GENERATOR. To create your own one-trick-pony novel where an all-powerful government has the same idee fixe that you do!

THE DEAD FAITH OF THE LIVING... HOUSEKEY. Via DLB.

"JESUS IS RISEN" BEIRUT FLASH MOB! I hate flash mobs as a thing, but I can make exceptions. Via Mark Shea.

NIETZSCHE PLAYS #OPERAPLOT. Via... I forget.

One should never know whom exactly one has married. [Lohengrin.]

Old corrupted females prefer to be redeemed by chaste youths. [Parsifal.] ...

It may have the direst consequences if one doesn't go to bed at the right time. [Lohengrin again.]

more

[Frame 1]
Linus. I guess it's wrong always to be worrying about tomorrow

[Frame 2]
Linus. Maybe we should think only about today...

[Frame 3]
Charlie Brown. No, that's giving up...

[Frame 4]
Charlie Brown. I'm still hoping that yesterday will get better
--a Peanuts cartoon transcript, sent to me by Ratty

AND BECAUSE YOUR LOVE IS MEASURED WITH A PROTRACTOR/I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU... SWAN AND TRACTOR.

eta: Huh, for some reason I'd gotten it into my head that this was an English swan, when in fact it is German. Tags edited to reflect! Off to Pittsburgh!

HUNGOVER OWLS. I have no words. Via TKB I think.

BELATED VALENTINE'S DAY LINK #1: Name a giant hissing cockroach after your Valentine!

I seriously would flip for this--while urban apartment living has made me loathe your common or garden cockroach, the huge Madagascar hissing variety might be my favorite insect. I got to hold one as a child, at the old Natural History Museum Insect Zoo. The hissing is like their equivalent of purring!

"THE MOON ON THE BREAST OF THE NEW-FALLEN SNOW/HEGEMONICALLY OTHERED THE OBJECTS BELOW." That's not even the best couplet. Via MTM.

"THE YEAR KENNY LOGGINS RUINED CHRISTMAS." Via Ratty.

WHIGS FOR LONGER SKIRTS: A randomly-generated PAC and/or front group name!

Via DLB, who got the gemlike "Sinister Gentlemen for Liberty."

A LIST OF COSTUMES SEEN TONIGHT (THIS LIST IS NOT EXHAUSTIVE): Pirate, white guys as a cowboy and an Indian (...really?), kung-fu master (an actual Asian), man-vampire, lady-vampire (unrelated to previous), sexy bumblebee, sexy NYT crossword puzzle, something green on head, trashy black wig, bearded lady or possibly male nurse, Joker, heterosexual jellyfish couple, Captain America, flapper, Red King, a Democrat, possibly a spoiled child???, and my personal favorite, a satyr in a sport coat.

ATTACK ADS OF THE FOUNDERS. Probably via Jesse Walker.

"THE MONSTER YOUR MAN COULD SMELL LIKE." Posting this for Ratty.

POLL: 1 IN 5 AMERICANS BELIEVE OBAMA IS A CACTUS. Real posting soon, but for now, have something which made me laugh. Via PES I think.

CAPTAIN'S LOG, SUPPLEMENTAL: I only wish I could make all my confessions in the captain's-log format.