Sunday, September 13, 2009
Just some thoughts on the Lions' first game of the 2009 season:
--Chris Myers (announcer), on Larry Foote going from winning two Superbowl rings with the Steelers to playing for the Lions: “It’s like going from dating Beyoncé to Oprah.” What a statement with which to start the season. Really sets the tone.
--I hate the new helmet logo in action much less than I thought I would. I don't like the new stripes on the pants, though. The blue as the thickest element in the stripe is just too much. What I do actually hate is the new 'LIONS' font. I wasn’t in love with the old font either (which looked a little like what you’d see on the side of a circus carriage; doubly unfortunate since you WOULD expect to see the word “lions” on the side of such a vehicle), but this toothpaste-packaging-looking typeface is not the answer.
I quite liked the little fleur-de-lis on the hips of the Saints.
--Anyways, if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that uniform changes don’t do a damn thing for the Lions. Black jerseys, anyone?
--Very appropriate that the first Lions points of the season were scored on a Jason Hanson field goal. Anything else would have seemed like false advertising.
--Last year the Lions' secondary had one interception, all year. They have one in the first half here, on an admittedly ill-advised flea flicker pass from Drew Brees. So that's goin' better, kind of, maybe.
--At the beginning of the game they said that the Lions felt one of their biggest areas of improvement had been the defensive linebackers. After the first half I feel that this was a lie; the defense as a whole looks terrible. The only area where they seem to have shown some improvement is special teams, and even that has been inconsistent at best.
Finding out that the team has lied to me this early in the season is not a good sign.
--I wish more people would take a swipe at Jeremy Shockey when he's celebrating a touchdown. I don't even care about that penalty, and the Big Cat hit the ball, not Shockey, anyways. Good job, Lions. The rest of the league should take note of how satisfying that is.
--The Lions taped the National Anthem and had the players look at it, so that they would stand correctly and present a respectful picture before the game. Let me repeat that: the coaches had the Lions study tape of the National Anthem. This is what team resources are going towards. IT ALL MAKES SENSE.
--This was the 18th consecutive loss for the Lions, going all the way back to 2007.Labels: Lions, terrible
10:26 PM
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Just... read the quote, OK? Just read the quote. I can't prepare you for this. You just have to read it.
"It's really good for us right now to have a chance to get under the spotlight," Lions coach Rod Marinelli said Monday. "I'm really looking forward to that, where everybody is scrutinizing everything about us right now."
...
Some would argue that if the Lions were trying to win, then all the talk about 0-16 might get in their heads. As I thought about that hypothetical scenario, I asked Marinelli: Couldn't the spotlight be ... you know ... a bad thing?
"I guess if you're from Hostess Twinkies it would be," Marinelli said.
I was poised to ask a follow-up question, but the only one I could think of was "Huh?" Are the Hostess people worried about scrutiny? Do they have nightmares that somebody will figure out how they put the cream inside the cake?
Marinelli later was asked if he was worried some of his players were soft, like Twinkies.
"I'm not saying we're Twinkies," Marinelli said. "I'm saying the question was a Twinkie. It was a Twinkie question for me."
WHAT.
I... WHAT?!
It. Was. A. Twinkie. Question. For. Me. For me, Rod Marinelli, the head coach of an NFL professional football team.
The Detroit Lions are like some sort of horrible practical joke that is being played on all of us.Labels: Lions, NFL, Rod Marinelli, twinkies, wtf
2:52 AM
Monday, November 17, 2008
Oh man you guys things are so bad right now when it comes to Blue Cats. I can't even really call them 'Lions' anymore because that implies a certain amount of majesty and toothy power that would be the most obvious false advertising ever.
I mean you see this blue cat here; he is not swimming, he is slowly sinking beneath the logo'd waves. Straight up watery tragedy.
If you are wondering why there have not been very many posts about this potentially historic season so far, I can only tell you that every week I spend a few moments in quiet contemplation, trying to think of something to say other than 'EVERYONE IS SO BAD AT FOOTBALL'. I have a hard time thinking of anything. EVERYONE IS SO BAD AT FOOTBALL.
Occasionally the Blue Cats will play well for a series, or a quarter, or (more rarely), a half. But the opposing team then always remembers how to play football, and the Blue Cats always revert back to their bumbling ways.
If you have a quarterback with a big arm-- one of the few things Daunte Culpepper inarguably does still have-- why would you not throw down the field? You have not won a game yet. Why stick with runs and short, sometimes backwards passes? THERE IS ALMOST LITERALLY NOTHING TO LOSE. Take some bloody RISKS! This seems obvious, unmistakable, self-evident. Yet somehow, somewhy, the Blue Cats insist upon short runs and tiny passes.
I just... WHY?
And the tackling; holy cats, the tackling is still some of the worst I have seen at any level. You don't just try to BUMP INTO GUYS, you have to WRAP THEM UP and HOLD ONTO THEM and generally NOT TOUCH THEM ONCE, WEAKLY, AND THEN LIE DOWN ON THE TURF TO WATCH THEM CONTINUE ON DOWN THE FIELD.
This is obvious, yes??!? To you, this is obvious? To me, this obvious! To the Blue Cats, this is not at all obvious. It has been going on since Week One. You would think that perhaps they would have begun addressing it by now, but you would be thinking a wrong thing.
HOW IS THIS AT ALL POSSIBLE ON A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM? It boggles the mind so hard that mind-bits will leak out of your ears and nose, it truly does.
What more can I even say? These Cats are bad in a way that defies description. There are no words in the English language sufficient to describe the terriblocity of this 'football team' (and I use that phrase in the loosest possible sense).
0-and-10. Absurd, ghastly, sickening, farcical, lunatic, ridiculous. And, in all likelihood, it will only get more so.Labels: football, Lions, NFL, terrible
10:28 PM
Saturday, September 20, 2008
I need to write about the Red Sox and my MANY STRANGE AND OBSESSIVE WORRIES about them soon, but this? This I cannot pass up.
I'm talking about an article by Nicholas Cotsonika in the Detroit Free Press titled Matt Millen says Lions have his back-- and they can win this year. Although I will get into it below, I will summarize it here for the lazy readers: Matt Millen is awful, but has no concept of his own awfulness. It is as though he is so awful at handling a National Football League team that his mind simply refuses to process the full magnitude of his FAIL. The result of this brain hiccup, this disturbance in his gray matter, is a near-delusional outlook on his team, his management of said team, his personnel, and probably many other things as well.
Let's have a look, shall we?
Millen said he believes in Marinelli more than ever before because Marinelli has remained consistent amid adversity. He said he still believes in the coaching staff and players -- and that if the Lions just do what they've been doing, they will win this year.
"Stay the course," Millen said. "It's a little bump. ... It's not like you have to panic. You don't have to make wholesale changes. You don't have to do all that stuff. It's all right there."
He believes in Marinelli because Marinelli has remained consistent amid adversity.
He believes in Marinelli because Marinelli has remained consistent amid adversity.
HE BELIEVES IN MARINELLI BECAUSE MARINELLI HAS REMAINED CONSISTENT AMID ADVERSITY.
Say you have a nail that you have to hammer into a wall. You're holding the nail in place so it doesn't fall out before it's nailed in properly. Your friend ROD MARINELLI is swinging the hammer. He keeps smashing you in the fingers and missing the nail. He does it every single time. Over and over again. And instead of telling him he's DOING IT WRONG, instead of telling him to GO AWAY and finding SOMEONE ELSE to hammer the nail in properly, you PRAISE HIM.
You tell everyone that you believe in his ability to hammer that nail into the wall because despite adversity-- despite his CONSTANT FAILURE TO DO THE TASK ASSIGNED TO HIM, despite his CONSTANT FAILURE TO COME UP WITH THE DESIRED RESULT i.e. the nail in the wall and your hand intact-- he has remained CONSISTENT. He has NOT EVEN TRIED TO HAMMER THE NAIL IN A NEW WAY SO AS TO AVOID BREAKING YOUR PHALANGES.
And you praise him for this!!!
Matt Millen is out of his catdamned mind.
"I said at the beginning of the season, 'Come on out, and you'll like what you see,' " Millen said. "And I think the people who came out (to training camp), they like what they see because they see discipline. They see the approach is right. They're practicing right. All the little things."
What about the fan who says, "That's practice, but these are games"?
"Well, if a fan says that, then they don't understand the game of football, because it can't happen on the field if it doesn't happen here," Millen said.
It's not happening on the field. Quite frankly I don't give a flying diseased rat colon about what's happening in practice for the Lions these days because IT'S NOT HAPPENING ON THE FIELD. I have seen better tackling in HIGH SCHOOL football games. Tackling!! One of the most BASIC and INTEGRAL of the football skills! Obviously Matt Millen and I mean different things when we talk about 'all the little things'.
Does Millen hold himself accountable?
"Look," Millen said. "Rod stands up there and says, 'It's on me'? It's on me. It's me. That's fine. ... The guys who are out here are here for a reason. It's not happenstance. I believe in the guy I hired. I believe in the staff we put together and I believe in the players we have on the field. And if you want to point the finger at any of that stuff, that's on me. I'm fine with that, because I believe in what's out there. Nothing else needs to be said."
If he believes in what's out there, then he believes in a terrible football team that cannot tackle opposing players and glories in finding new and exciting ways to lose games that they seem to have a shot at winning. I BELIEVE!!!
Hasn't it taken too long to build a foundation, let alone build on top of it?
"From since I'm here, sure," Millen said. "Yeah. Obviously. But like I said earlier, I'm the one who hired the guy, and I believe in him 100%. I believe in him more now than I ever did. That guy, he's exactly what you need."
Why?
"Because he's consistent," Millen said. "You guys see that. That's not changing. He is a straight line."
I don't understand this. I just don't. If your team is terrible at playing the game of football, why would you insist that the best thing for everyone is to hold that course? The course you are on is one of losing! You don't want to hold that course! It's like someone once told Millen, "Now sonny boy, don't you ever stray from a path once you're on it," and he took that advice to heart so much that he now could not get off a conveyor belt even if he was unrestrained and the conveyor belt was approaching a circular saw that would remove his balls.
"He will do what he believes is the right thing to do, and what he's doing is the right way. The players we have picked, we picked in the beginning for a reason. The same reason still exists. They still have the same skills and abilities. The staff's in place for the same exact reason. Rod likes to use the term, 'Don't blink.' I never use that term. But you just keep on walking. ...
"I just think what we're doing is the right thing to do, and if they just keep doing what they're supposed to do, we'll be fine."
First of all, what the hell is he saying with the blinking and the walking?
Secondly, saying things like, "if they just keep doing what they're supposed to do, we'll be fine," presupposes that your players are doing the proper things in the first place, and you CANNOT presuppose that with the Detroit Lions.
Millen declined to go into his discussions with Ford. He said he didn't want to put words in Ford's mouth.
"He has high expectations," Millen said. "When you have high expectations, you also get frustrated, too. There's answers you want, too."
Millen said he told Ford basically the same things he said Thursday, just in more detail.
"He asks all the right questions," Millen said. "Let's just leave it at that."
Nicholas Cotsonika/Detroit Free Press
Except for the questions that will lead to the creation of a winning Lions team.Labels: football, Lions, Matt Millen, NFL
3:08 AM
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Again? Seriously.... AGAIN??
I was unhappy when this game started. The first time in five years I haven't been at the season opener... it was weird, OK? Weird and wrong-footing and seeing that full stadium but not being in it is just wrong. But life goes on, I thought. You grow up, you move away; at least you're not out there schvitzing to death in the heat and probably getting a horrific sunburn because you forgot to put on sunscreen again.
I expected things to improve, though. Oh, I knew full well that the team is young, it's the first game with a new coach and a new system after several eons of Carr-ship, we're starting a walk-on at QB and the backup is a red-shirt freshman. I knew all that. Intellectually. I still expected... I don't know. Not a blowout, but a victory of some sort.
I really, really need to stop having expectations about this team, unless they are expectations of SHAME and AGONY.
Nothing against Utah. I tip my cap to them while simultaneously cursing out every single one of their players, especially that friggin' kicker. This is a less embarrassing loss than last year's Appalachian State disaster; the Utes may be in the mostly imaginary Mountain West conference, but at least they're actually, you know, Division I.
We have no running game. Like... none. I have no idea how our receivers look after this one game, because the combined Sheridan/Threet QB situation was awful enough to make them a moot point. The offensive line was bad. The defense adjusted in the second half in a very encouraging way, but the atrocious first half can't be ignored. Special teams were pretty good? I guess?
The close score at the end of the game was pretty deceptive. Utah made some terrifically bad mistakes, but Michigan did not look like a Division I football team out there.
It's gonna be a long season, 'though I guess this is maybe the best way to ease me out of the habit of actually going to the games.
ETA: Tatum Bell, after being released by the Lions, stole the luggage of Rudi Johnson, who had been brought in to replace him.
The Lions keep finding new and exciting ways to remind everyone that they are 100% clown shoes.Labels: football, Lions, loss, NCAA, Tatum Bell, Utes, Wolverines
6:00 PM
Monday, August 04, 2008
Here's the thing with the Manny trade. I know, in my heart of hearts, that it was the right move, maybe the ONLY possible move at this point. Manny had created an impossible situation for himself in Boston. Even if he goes on to hit .360/.430/.667 with the Dodgers, you can't really fault Theo for the move, because he wouldn't have done that in Boston with any kind of reliable consistency, not if he felt like he was being wronged by the tiny green gnomes that live under the Monster or whatever his latest gripe would have inevitably been. Declining to run out ground balls, fine, we were used to that and had accepted it as a part of the whole general Manny-package, but he was starting to get sulky AT THE PLATE, which is.... well, it's just deeply not OK.
And for once this wasn't just a bunch of fans getting all foamy about the mouthparts: Manny's own teammates were expressing concern to the FO that Manny could no longer be relied upon in games.
It may not be the absolute best move from a pure baseball standpoint. But it may have been the only move, and thus the right one.
That said, it still sucks rat testicles and Jason Bay, whatever other positives he may have, is not going to be nearly as fun as Manny to watch. He just won't be. It isn't possible. Manny was a crazy, surly, occasionally frustrating buffoon, but he was OUR crazy, surly, occasionally frustrating buffoon, dammit, and his antics WERE often entertaining, and what the hell is baseball anyways if it's not entertainment? You know, aside from a cold-blooded soul-sucking business and a religion/tribal-analogue for otherwise jaded and sarcastic New Englanders.
So, aside from the fact that I DID just talk about it, I don't really want to talk about it. Instead, I will talk about the one thing I can pretty much guarantee no other Red Sox blog in the world is talking about right now:
The Detroit Lions!
If you, like me, have been lucky enough to view FSN Detroit lately, you have probably noticed that the Lions have started running ads for the upcoming season. These ads feature their new tagline, slogan, whatever you want to call it. The first time I heard it, I literally burst out laughing. It is marvelous. It is splendiferous. It is (are you ready for this?):
DO YOU BELIEVE IN NOW?
That's the slogan. The ad consists of vague Lions footage, and a few players staring into the camera and saying, "DO YOU BELIEVE IN NOW?" At no point is there any mention of, say, scoring points, or anything obviously insane like that. The ad does not go on to say, "Do you believe that NOW is when we will win?" There is in fact no mention of victory at all, which is both refreshingly honest and keenly disturbing in an ad that's supposed to get fans fired up for the season.
After I got over my initial reaction (the aforementioned hysterical laughter), I had to stop and think. What could this slogan really mean? It is so very open, so strangely... philosophical.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN NOW?
I mean, let's break it down. NOW. What is 'now'? 'Now' is the time at present, the current moment. 'Now' is the bit of fourth dimension that the universe is experiencing right, well, NOW. It looks neither forwards nor backwards; it is neither future nor past. It is ever-changing, never static, impossible to capture and preserve. You think you know what 'now' is? In the time it took you to read that sentence, 'now' has changed a near-infinity of times. What you thought was 'now' has become 'then'.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN NOW?
What does it mean, to believe in 'now'? Do I believe that the universe exists such that the present moment is a Real Thing, not merely a figment of my imagination or some other sort of illusion? Hard to say. We as human beings are bounded by our senses and our brains; it may be argued that we cannot 'know' the world without them. This is an inherently solipsistic way to live. 'Now' seems real. It FEELS real. But is it? After all, it cannot be captured. Time marches on; it does not stop. Maybe at the event horizon of a black hole, where space and time warp in ways we cannot experience in our daily life, there is a sort of perpetual NOW. But can we ever know that for sure?
We feel like we are experiencing a series of 'now's. But is this real, or is it merely an artifact of the limits of our human sensory equipment and the scales which our brain is able to practically comprehend? We are incapable of perceiving infinitely small demarcations of time, but such micro-moments (quantum-moments?) may exist. If you view the fourth dimension as a linear progression (this, of course is debatable) and if you assume it is not at some level an indivisible particle, you may also assume that time can be broken down into ever smaller moments, seconds to microseconds to nanoseconds and so on down to parcels of time as-yet unnamed-- to parcels of time that the human mind simply cannot comprehend in any visceral, meaningful way.
What then? Can 'now' truly be said to exist when what we perceive as 'now' is only a very rough approximation of immediacy?
Or do we ignore this? Do we say, no, 'now' is what we believe it to be, therefore it exists? Do we say that because 'now' is a human concept, it necessarily MUST exist, because if we have invented the concept-- if the concept cannot exist in a pure state-- then it must exist as defined?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN NOW?
I don't know. I don't know if I believe in 'now'. To say yes is to fall into the darkly existential well of human solipsism. To say no is to question our very perception of time. Why do the Lions demand these things of me? Why?! It is a cruel organization that so torments its fans.
What does my belief (or lack of belief) in 'now' have to do with the Detroit Lions? I am not sure. I believe that the team will exist and that a number of large men wearing Honolulu blue and silver (and sometimes, sadly, black) will appear on various football fields at various pre-determined times, where they will (badly) attempt to play the game of football as defined by the National Football League. This is a belief based on habit (all these things have happened many times in the past) and probability (it is more likely that these things will happen than it is that a previously undetected meteor will obliterate Ford Field and negate the season).
But my belief in the existence of the upcoming Lions season is not tied to my belief in the 'now'. And it is CERTAINLY not at all tied to my belief that the team will in any appreciable way do well.
THAT is something I do not believe in.
I look forward to the Lions raising more questions of this sort all season long. If they can provide exercise for my brain, maybe it will in some small way make up for the execrable things they are preparing to do on the field.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN NOW??!Labels: baseball, football, Lions, Manny Ramirez, Red Sox, trade
3:47 PM
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Mmmm, losing, how it has consumed my football.
I of course attended the Michigan/Ohio State game, which was a disaster. A total disaster. It was freezing cold out, but just warm enough to keep the rain rain and not snow. I don't know how it was possible for the air to be as cold as it was while we were still getting rained out, but apparently Ohio State bewitched the air to make us just that much more completely miserable. I was soaked through by the end of the game, and I had rain gear on. Some people were worse off. And of course there's no shelter in the Big House.
Part of the problem was that, while the game didn't ever really 'feel' close, and even though it definitely never seemed like Michigan (and more especially Chad Henne) was going to make a comeback, the score technically WAS close enough to keep most of us in our seats. Of course leaving a ballgame early is despicable behavior, but in this case it would have been perfectly justified by the soul-destroying nature of the loss and the potentially health-destroying nature of the weather, and if this had been a blowout I would've been out of there before you could say, "Jim Tressel eats babies."
ALAS, IT WAS NOT A BLOWOUT. The score at the end was only 14-3. That's a surmountable score even in the NFL, and it's easily surmountable by college football standards. Hell, I've seen Michigan overcome much bigger deficits in that very stadium. You can't leave a college game when the score's that close, you just CAN'T, because if the losing team makes a comeback and you aren't there for it you can NEVER FORGIVE YOURSELF.
I mean, look at that MSU game in 2004. We were down by 17 with 8-some-odd minutes to go in the 4th quarter. As the game wore on, the mid-70s temperature of the daytime gave way to the mid-30s temperature of the night, meaning that we had all showed up wearing tshirts and were literally freezing. It seemed like the perfect time to leave, and Michigan ended up coming back and winning in triple overtime. It's one of the most epic games in recent memory and a classic in the UM/MSU rivalry.
Can you imagine being at that game and leaving early? Lots of people did. (I almost did, but my seatmate said we should wait for at least the 5-minute mark, and Michigan started the comeback around the 6-minute mark). I know some people who left. THEY HAVE STILL NOT FORGIVEN THEMSELVES.
So, with Michigan only down by 11 at the most, I just couldn't leave. Not even with the pervading air of hopelessness, not even with the weather that threatened to end both me and my camera. This time around, Michigan did not reward me with a win. The defense played well (witness the fact that OSU was held to 14 points), but the offense doesn't even rate mention. Suffice it to say that the offense was Bad, and the capital B is intentional.
Photos from the game are here. I went early to take a bunch of stadium shots, as it's my last game as an undergrad. Thankfully the rain did not start until the game did. I got some nice player shots from warmups too. Not so many good shots during the game, due to the aforementioned and much belabored weather. YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW TRULY MISERABLE IT WAS UNLESS YOU WERE THERE. The weather for that game: also Bad.
In happier news, I was also at the Thanksgiving Day Lions game! Oh wait, did I say 'happier'? I meant 'equally sad but less overtly miserable because at least the Lions play indoors'.
This was, by far, the highlight of the game. Dippin' Dots. In a miniature Lions helmet. I think you will agree with me that this is awesomeness made solid and incarnate, yes? Yes.
As for the game itself, whatever. I literally spent parts of it thinking to myself, "Hey, this isn't half as bad as the Michigan game! I'm inside! It's climate-controlled! I have a real seat instead of a small section of bleacher! The Lions are playing with some hope here at the end! I have Dippin' Dots! Altogether a superior losing experience!" And all that was TRUE. It made the Lions game just seem so whatever-esque. Brett Favre and the Packers are on a streak of vicious football prowess. The Lions have been winning, with the exception of the Denver game, by the skin of their pointy feline teeth. Whatever! At least it wasn't an absurdly bad blowout like the past two Thanksgivings. This game was close! So, whatever! See?
Photos from that game are here, in addition to some shots from before and after, as we trotted around the city.
At least it looks like the Patriots are going to win this game. If you listen carefully, you can hear my feeble, beaten-down cheer as I muster the little enthusiasm I have left for football right now.
Oh, and PS, check out this downtown Detroit bar:
Yes, it is called "Jacoby's". I had to take a photo of that. Who wouldn't?Labels: Buckeyes, football, Jacoby Ellsbury, Lions, loss, NCAA, NFL, OSU, rivalry, terrible, Wolverines
10:48 PM
Friday, October 12, 2007
True story.
That's my living room wall: the little painting all the way on the left is Fenway Park, the big painting is old Tiger Stadium, and the flag, of course, is the Detroit Lion.
We were having some trouble with the electricity in my apartment (i.e. my roommate managed to trip one of the circuit breakers three times in a single morning), so I alerted the apartment manager and toddled off to class. I came back just as the maintenance guy was finishing up. He hadn't been able to replicate the problem, so it was all Very Mysterious and we were both at a bit of a loss to explain it.
As he was packing up his tools, his eyes alighted upon the Lions flag. Well. As you can see, it's hard to miss, especially since that's the wall that faces the front door.
Maintenance dude nodded at the flag. "Well, that's your problem right there. Suckin' all the energy right outta the place."
I laughed. In light of the Lions' most recent outing, this was a fair assessment.
"Really. That'll take all the energy right out." At this point I wasn't quite sure if he was joking or not. On the one hand, how could he NOT be joking? On the other hand, the Lions have been bad enough for long enough to do some serious damage to people's minds.
After another minute of conversation about the Army recruiters staked out in our parking lot, maintenance dude left, but not before casting a baleful glance over his shoulder at the Lions flag.
I'm a little worried now.Labels: football, Lions, NFL, terrible
2:34 PM
Monday, September 17, 2007
Red Sox
Saturday: good. Sunday: bad. For once I have a lot of support out here in Michigan when I pay attention to the Sox, because every Tigers fan with half a brain realized that we badly needed the Sox to beat some Yankee posterior in this series. I actually got a couple high fives on the strength of my Sox hat at the Michigan game.
When David Ortiz came up in the bottom of the 9th with the bases loaded and two outs and the Sox down by one, it seemed inevitable that the game would be won, or would at least go to extra innings. David Ortiz! Situation of ultra-clutch! Clutchiest situation to ever grasp the world of clutch hitting since Derek Jeter last had to clutch at his underpants to keep them from falling down! EPITOME OF CLUTCHIFIED MOMENT.
We're talking about a David Ortiz who had just walked off a ballgame, and a Mariano Rivera who was visibly struggling.
Alas, it was not to be. Although these games did live up to their epic Red Sox/Yankees Rivalry to the Death billing (The Beast from the East vs. Roger Clemens' Personal Pool Boy! Matsuzaka vs. Pettitte! Man vs. Myth! Beckett vs. Wang!! Battle of the Ancients! Schilling vs. Clemens! Games to Test your Endurance!), the end result was not what we wanted.
It doesn't matter so much for the Red Sox, if you discount the whole 'insane rivalry' thing. It's probable that they'll just coast into the playoffs (although really, if they keep on losing... and the Yankees keep on winning... ugh, it doesn't even bear thinking about), and then we can start worrying. But, as everyone today is going to tell me-- man, this SUCKED for the Tigers.
Blue Cats
Forward down the field,
A charging team that will not yield.
And when the Blue and Silver wave,
Stand and cheer the brave.
Rah, Rah, Rah.
Go hard, win the game.
With honor you will keep your fame.
Down the field and gain,
A Lion victory!
GOOOOO LIONS!
Shock. Amaze. It wasn't just a Lions victory-- although it WAS a LIONS VICTORY!!-- but it was a Lions victory led in large part by Jon Kitna. The Lions looked energized when Kitna was in the game, and Kitna looked energized in turn. Let me just repeat this, so that you may more fully savor it.
Jon Kitna was the spark that fired the offense.
Jon Kitna led the Lions offense.
Jon Kitna. Good things. Quarterback. Detroit. Good.
You know what he looked like? He looked like Joey Harrington did in the game where Joey had the flu and the scruffy beard and the bloodshot eyes and, because he didn't give a damn, he threw for a bazillion yards and looked more like a real live quarterback than he ever had before. Nobody remembers the game for that; they instead (quite rightly) remember it for the horrific end, but if that series of completely ridiculous and tragic events had never taken place, that game would have been remembered for how Joey looked. LIKE A LEADER OF MEN.
(As an aside, Joey Harrington was sacked 7 times in a Falcons loss yesterday. I wonder if the offensive line is really that bad [in which case, why pick up Joey, someone that everyone in the universe knew could not run an offense with a weak line, as so manifestly proven by his time in Detroit?] or if something like the anti-Joey behavior that infested the Lions has already started to take hold in Atlanta. Poor guy. Who can tell if he's effective or not in a new offense if he can't stay on his feet long enough to get his bearings downfield?)
Point being, that's how Kitna looked this past Sunday.
Now, I've heard a lot of the "pundits" saying that the Lions are basically being liver flukes right now, and they're "pretenders", and cat knows what else. On the one hand, I tend to agree. These are, above all, the Lions, which means that they'll be managed poorly and will find exciting new and previously unexplored ways to lose. On the other hand, how many of those so-called football experts do you think ACTUALLY sat down and watched the Lions game? I would guess not very many.
Michigan
Finally won. Woo. Thanks, Irish.Labels: baseball, football, Lions, MLB, NFL, Red Sox, rivalry, Vikings, Yankees
9:01 AM
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Forward down the field,
A charging team that will not yield.
And when the Blue and Silver wave,
Stand and cheer the brave.
Rah, Rah, Rah.
Go hard, win the game.
With honor you will keep your fame.
Down the field and gain,
A Lion victory!
Well, THAT was a pleasant and unexpected occurrence!
My brain is starting to get scrambled. The Tigers were down by 7 runs-- 13 to 6-- and when the announcer said this I thought, "Oh, 7 points, that shouldn't be too hard to make up." I was thinking in FOOTBALL terms, see, instead of baseball terms. Eeesh.
None of this is helped by the fact that the Lions played in Oakland today, where the Athletics' infield is still clearly visible, even though they've expanded the field and painted the hash marks across it and ritualistically excised the actual bases.
The first Lions drive ended with an interception in the endzone. This was so typical, so purely LIONS that I found myself almost happy. It reconfirmed everything that is Lions football. We're back, baby.
The hilarity of this is the opposing quarterback, Josh McCown, who was of course on the Lions last year, and who got used in strange Lions-ish ways, for instance as a back-up receiver in a couple of games. He actually had a couple of receptions. The pass he threw in the 3rd quarter for an interception (which was tipped and then picked from the air) looked like a high effort pass. It didn't look like it came out of his hand easily; it looked like the ball weighed a hundred pounds. He also fell over as he was throwing it, possibly due to that aforementioned baseball grass. Somehow all of this is, again, familiarly bumping and Lions-esque, but for once not directed at the Lions themselves.
Roy Williams calls Calvin Johnson "Megatron", and he said, of him: "He'll have a touchdown today, one or two." Turns out that, for once, Roy Williams was 100% right.
I'm not sure what to say. There were completions-- real actual completions on the football field, by the players in Honolulu blue and silver. There were turnovers that actually went the way of the Lions. Jason Hanson was perfect, as always. It was a win... a GOOD win. A LIONS win. It is crazy and I do not know what to do with myself.
Dominic Raiola and Dan Orlovsky came up after the game to greet McCown. Raiola gave him a great big hug and McCown ruffled his hair. It was very 'awww'.
Unrelatedly, Pedro Martinez hit a double today off of Roy Oswalt. I don't think Boston fans will ever fail to care about Pedro, and Pedro hitting will never fail to be funny.Labels: football, Josh McCown, Lions, NFL, win
3:13 PM
Monday, December 25, 2006
ran
This is truly disgusting.
The fact that, at the end of the game, I was sitting there saying things like, "But we COULD HAVE WON if only it had been Roy of the Williamses in that corner of the endzone, instead of Mike of the Williamses and his useless, useless hands," is a reflection on my own personal level of derangement, not on any actual skill on the part of the team. This is a terrible football team. A TERRIBLE FOOTBALL TEAM. This is not a point that can be emphasized enough. A bunch of dudes (even the word 'team' is giving them too much credit) who are INCREDIBLY TERRIBLE at playing the game of football.
Jon Kitna is a miserable human being. He perpetually looks like someone held his head to a giant grindstone, shearing all the flesh off of it, and it's only just finished growing back in a cruel, agonizing parody of humanity. He looks even more like this after he's had his face planted in the turf by the opposing team for the 8 THOUSANDTH TIME IN A GAME. Seriously, how horribly familiar are we all with the image of some fat blob of an opponent lumbering forward unchecked, grabbing Kitna around the ankles, causing him to pitch forward comically as though a giant zip-tie has just cinched his lower legs together? And then BAM, facemask filled with bits of grass and discarded dignity.
EVEN SO, things might be different if the Lions receivers were capable of catching any pass other than a perfect spiral delivered softly and directly into the palms of their waiting hands. THEY ARE NOT. And sometimes they even miss those! Do they ever sit in the lockerroom and wonder how other teams do it? How other groups of receivers manage to catch less-than-110%-perfectly-thrown footballs on a semi-regular basis? Does this not INTRIGUE them? Because I can't shake the feeling that they just shrug their shoulders and assume that the rest of the league is filled with strange, magical creatures that they, as mere mortals, cannot be expected to emulate. IT ISN'T TRUE, RECEIVERS. YOU TOO CAN BE PRECIOUS LITTLE PEGASUSES.
Why did I even watch this? Why do I continue to watch this trainwreck of a pisspoor excuse for a football team???
It's like an abusive relationship, and the Lions are the hideous, abusive boyfriend who beats you (the fan) up every Sunday without fail. But he doesn't even whisper misleading sweet nothings in your ear the rest of the week to make up for it and keep you chained to him by the cruel rope of undeserved love! No! You are so far gone that the cajoling words of love are ONLY IN YOUR OWN HEAD, and the abusive guy calls you a nasty slut and goes out to a strip club with his friends instead of returning your calls and you STILL STICK WITH HIM, why? Why???? IT'S NOT LOVE. You don't know! He never treats you right and he sleeps with other girls (and probably other guys too, we know about your sick "friendship" with Brett Favre, Lions!) and hits you about the face betweentimes, but you CAN'T TEAR YOURSELF AWAY, because THAT'S HOW IT IS IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP and THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A LIONS FAN RIGHT NOW.
What about the offensive line? WHAT OFFENSIVE LINE? Rick DeMulling makes me VOMIT UP MY SPLEEN. I need that spleen, DeMulling! Why do you do this? WHY??
Clint Stickdorn? WHAT THE HELL IS A CLINT STICKDORN????? Is this a real football player who is really on our real roster or is he A FIGMENT OF MY FEVERED, ABUSED IMAGINATION?
Why aren't we playing Dan Orlovsky???? Jon Kitna has nothing to offer us. We would need a quarterback who cries Grey Goose vodka tears and pisses liquified gold to make the kittenish paws of our receiving core receptive to the football; we need a quarterback who is half man, half MANTICORE; that isn't Jon Kitna. It isn't Orlovsky either but who cares?? WE HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE EXCEPT FOR OUR DIGNITY. OH WAIT.
At this point in the season people in other cities talk about running games, and I stare at them like they're claiming a goddamn Tyrannosaurus rex is running around their backyard eating complacent suburban squirrels. In Detroit this mystical creature is long since extinct. The University of Michigan is heading some really groundbreaking archaeological expeditions to exhume the fossilized bones of the running game. They've found petrified mud with cleat tracks in the banks of the Detroit River. There are rumors that such a creature once roamed the earth and breathed the air, but right now it's just academic speculation. I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT A RUNNING GAME LOOKS LIKE.
Also!
MIKE WILLIAMS IS TERRIBLE AT FOOTBALL AND AT LIFE.
MERRY FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS!Labels: Clint Stickdorn, football, Jon Kitna, Lions, loss, Mike Williams, NFL, rant, Rick DeMulling, terrible
12:16 AM
Monday, November 06, 2006
That Patroits game was supremely frustrating. My hatred of Peyton Manning and his pantheon of advertisements grows daily. Plus it was painful for my brain to handle all of the former-Wolverine-on-former-Wolverine action when Tom Brady went up against Cato June. Oh, and seeing Adam Vinatieri in that blue and white was a great deal more agonizing than I had thought it was going to be. So let's move on.
First off:
Forward down the field,
A charging team that will not yield,
And when the Blue and Silver wave,
Stand and cheer the brave!
Rah! Rah! Rah!
Go hard, win the game.
With honor you will keep your fame.
Down the field and gain
A Lions Victory!
GOOOOOOO LIONS!
Don't get to write THAT very often.
This was especially enjoyable, given the fact that the last time I had seen the Lions play the Falcons was Thanksgiving of last season, where Michael Vick ran all over the field, dancing here, trotting there, hither and indeed yon, making out with Jim Mora Jr. on the sidelines, doing whatsoever he pleased, so on and so forth. So it was very, very, VERY nice to see the Lions manage to come out on top. All you need to win is a team that has a passable defense and some small modicum of belief in their ability to play football, and a coach whose head is not actually encased within the humid confines of his own lower large intestine while on the field. Who knew?
And so I am proud of the Blue Cats. I am proud of Jon Kitna for playing with what looked like a giant red slug eating his face (and I have no idea when he sustained that; I was dropping my friend off at the airport for part of the game, but I happily DID get to hear the vaguely uncomfortable comments by the announcers about how 'welt-y' it looked near the end). I am proud of the defense for stepping it up and holding on even without their best player. I am proud of Kevin Jones for trying to be a little bit more like Mike Hart every day. I am proud of Mike Furrey for EXISISTING-- in fact, this is a whole separate future entry on its own.
I am not proud of Dre Bly for still insisting on trying to make tackles by slapping at opposing players with his open palms instead of, you know, actually throwing his body at them.
My ire is really reserved for a perhaps unlikely target. I know he's a good player; I know he has potential to be an Amazingly Great Football Player Who Catches the Football Amazingly Well with His Amazing Good Hands. I know he's only 24. I know his arm socks give him extra ball-catching p0w3rzzZZZz and Attitude Points (disclaimer: not an actual stat).
But GODDAMMIT Roy Williams, STOP CELEBRATING AFTER FIRST DOWNS.
You score a touchdown, FINE. You're young, you're exciteable, the Lions are not exactly the biggest offensive powerhouse out there. A touchdown is a time for celebration, within reason. But a first down is (supposed to be) a commonplace occurrence in this game which you are playing, you know, American football, with American football rules, where first downs happen all the time, YOU KNOW THIS ROY.
So when you make a first down, stand up, PULL AN IMAGINARY ARROW FROM AN IMAGINARY HOLSTER ON YOUR BACK, AND FIRE IT DOWN THE FIELD FROM AN IMAGINARY BOW, you are saying one of two things.
Roy Williams' intended message possibility #1:
My team is so freakin' pathetic that we have to sarcastically celebrate first downs, because we will have no other occasions to celebrate during this game. We are barely even a real football team.
Roy Williams' intended message possibility #2:
Hey opposing team, I am showing you up after this relatively low-impact play, because I am an immature cloacaface. Eat my Honolulu Blue and Silver jock.
Quite frankly, neither one of these are messages that Roy should want to be conveying. And this is not first time he's celebrated after a first down either... this time it was just even MORE worth bringing up because he went so far as to FIRE AN IMAGINARY ARROW DOWN THE FIELD. Holy FREAKIN' cats, Roy. Chad Johnson watched you do that, shook his head, and said to himself, "Damn, that kid's a little too excited out there."
That pissed me off at the time, and the more I think about it, the worse it looks. I really don't know why the refs haven't hit him up for excessive celebration already, except I guess it's possible he's catching even the refs off guard... who expects excessive celebration after a first down conversion? Maybe they're too busy laughing at how pathetic it is.
Still. The Falcons aren't a nothing of a team. It's not like we beat the Cardinals (also known as the only team in football worse than the Lions are right now), or even a team keeping badness pace with us, like the Steelers (HA!). And we HAVE had a lot of near-miss games, although that's a little misleading, since usually the games turn into near-misses because the Lions manage to shoot themselves in the paw before the end.
The surprising part about this win was not so much that the Lions played well; it was more the fact that the Lions DIDN'T forget that they have to play all 4 quarters somewhat cleanly.
Anyways. Two-and-six. The season of dreams is NOW!Labels: football, Lions, NFL, rant, Roy Williams, win
12:28 PM
Monday, October 16, 2006
Shock! Awe! Amazement! Seriously, what?
The Lions, uh, won. Uh.
In the grand scheme of apocalyptic football happenings this is not even that far up there. There are probably those who would say that the Lions had to win at some point. The thing is, no they did not. There is no law in the NFL stating that any given team has to have at least one win on their record by the end of the season and the Lions are masters at finding ways to lose. The announcers on Sunday even referred to this in a roundabout way; they called it "Jon Kitna's disappointing 4th quarter numbers so far".
The players say that they care, and at the start of the season it certainly seemed like they cared more than they have in previous years, now that they are free from the soft, lip-tremblingly emo tyranny that apparently was Joey Harrington, but they were still FUNDAMENTALLY the Lions and, therefore, finding ways to lose.
Take last week. I was watching the game with my roommate's boyfriend, Derek. The Lions were lined up, I guess probably in the 4th quarter, and Derek says, "Watch, this one'll be intercepted." Lo and behold, Kitna throws an interception. We both groan, and Derek basks momentarily in his play-calling abilities. BUT WAIT. A flag! "Maybe it'll get overturned," Derek says, in that horrible state of mock-hopefulness in which all Lions fans must dwell in order to remain sane.
"Nah," I say. "Just you wait, it'll be offensive holding on us."
Lo and behold.
That's how bad the Lions are. It is getting so that fans can ACTUALLY PREDICT, play-by-play, ways in which they are going to conspire to lose the game.
So this game, this win, was a surprise. Not necessarily the fact that they were up early, or that they looked like a Real Football Team in the first few quarters. The shocking bit came from the fact that the Bills closed the gap to 3 points... and the Lions held on for the win. If there was one thing that the season thus far had taught us it was that this was impossible. Not just impossible, but unpossible, so impossible that it wasn't even a real word. "The Lions" and "holding onto a lead" were just incompatible ideas. They were oil and water. They were gametes from different species. They just did not go together.
But now the Lions have won a game, and they have won it despite the opposing team feinting in the direction of a late-game comeback. The gametes from different species have mixed and we have our mule. It may be sterile, but by god, it's alive and walking around and eating hay.
I don't know. The universe is a different place today. The Tigers are going to the World Series, Michigan is undefeated, and the Lions have won a game. The only thing I know for sure is, if you're the Buffalo Bills, you're feeling real shitty right about now.
Ah, and I guess I didn't post this, but I was of course at the Michigan/Michigan State game, and the photos from that are all right here. Highlights include shameless Zoltan photography, a cameo by Mike Wallace, and the return of the giant inflatable penis. Good times, good times.Labels: football, Lions, NFL, win
8:17 PM
Monday, September 25, 2006
So the Red Sox are done.
Well. You know what they say. When one door closes, another one opens...
It's hard to be too upset about the Sox. Even before the actual, mathematical elimination came through, we knew it was over. When your team has Julian Tavarez holding the dual roles of team ace and official Manny babysitter, you simply aren't going anywhere, or at least nowhere that ends in trophies. That's just a fact of baseball and life, and I think we've all been so used to it for a while now that we just weren't too sorely wounded by the last feeble eepings of the dying sea slug that was the 2006 Red Sox.
I know Patriots fans are upset. To them I say, look upon the works of ye mighty Detroit Lions, and cherish thy freedom from true despair.
Losing to the modern-day Green Bay Packers. How utterly mortifying. My roommate, who has only the vaguest understanding of sports in general, asked me who the Lions were playing. I told her. She said, and this is 100% of Fact, "Oh, that's the pretty-boy team, isn't it?"
"What?"
"Brett Favre, isn't he a pretty boy or something?"
Oh holy freakin' cats.
"Not for, uh, at least 10 years, he hasn't been."
That was probably the highlight of the Lions game for me.
I am refusing to think about them. I am REFUSING. To think about them. Except to say that if Roy Williams guarantees another win this season, I am going to march down to Ford Field myself and duct tape him to the Joe Louis fist. You hear me, Roy? You can mouth off all you want when you're strapped down under silver belts of sticky goodness on the business end of a giant hovering black forearm. That sounds so dirty. I am not editing it out.
Actually, I couldn't even watch all of the Patriots game last night, because the sound on that station cut out just before halftime. Only on that channel. I switched over to the Cardinals/Astros game for a little bit before the pressure of the work I had yet to do and the fact that I really have had enough of Roger Clemens, thank you very much ESPN, conspired to make me give up on televised sports for the night.
Eh. The Tigers had already clinched a playoff berth for the first time in 19 years. That was all the TV I needed to see.
Of course I am also officially Not Upset about Michigan, as we beat Wisconsin to start off our Big 10 season right. Still, I've been doing this with every win so far... I say to myself (and everyone around me), "OK, good, another win... now let's see what we can do next week." They've beaten Notre Dame and Wisconsin, very not shit teams, and Vanderbilt, which is, uh, well, it's not Central Michigan, anyhow. And I still have very lukewarm feelings about each upcoming game. Last season was more scarring than I thought it was, clearly.
Good game, in the sense that we didn't get rained on this time, but unfortunate because the first in-conference home game of the season brought the sorority girls out in droves. Our favorites were the large group who showed up in the second half, crammed the benches so people had to stand sideways, and then turned, backs to the field, and talked to each other for the rest of the game. Dear These Girls-- I hate you. My seatmate hates you. Every single person in every row you infested hates you. You can talk at home on your bloody porch couches as well as you can here. Never come to another game again. With much rage, actual football fans.
The Z for Zoltan gestures are spreading like wildfire. At the last home game I saw just a few of them in the stands, and a few in the band. At this game, they were all over the student section. Zoltan! Zoltan! ZOLTAN! We're only obsessed with kickers a little bit at Michigan, honest.
The rest of the photos are right here, for those of you who are interested.
Wolverines, Tigers, pro football. Right now we just need that sea slug of a Red Sox team to quietly expire without breaking any more of its squishy little parts along the way. I've reached the point of begging the baseball overlords to let the season end, please, with no more casualties. Give this slug a watery grave and wait for its eggs to hatch next spring.Labels: baseball, football, Lions, loss, Michigan, MLB, NCAA, NFL, random, Red Sox, Wolverines
7:41 PM
Monday, September 11, 2006
The Lions lost their season opener on the last play of the game. Typical.
It wasn't as bad as a pasting, I suppose, and there were a lot of things that looked really good (the defense, the occasional ability to connect for long passes), but man, if a 9-6 loss on a last-second field goal isn't pure Lions football, I don't know what is.
Here's what I got out of it:
Kitna's first pass goes for a middlingly long first down completion. Hotness.
Black jersey day.
God I hate the new ref unis. What the fuck's up with the stripes of varying widths? And the thick black side panels? I mean seriously, what the hell. They look like clowns.
Wow. First Lions series, Kevin Jones 9 yard run, shakes one tackle on his ankle, continues fighting forward, gets the first down. God, that's so refreshing. He had a good block from Schleisinger (sp?) to get him sprung initially.
Forced fumble, picked up by the Lions. EEeee!
Ok, that's two blocked kicks. What the hell? Are the Seahawks that predictable on kicking?
Kevin Jones is showing really good effort after a tackler gets hold of him. I realize this is pretty much what you SHOULD be seeing from a football player, but given the Lions last season... and all the shit with Charles Rogers and Mike Williams, man, it's nice to see someone showing that they WANT to play, if not necessarily for the Lions then at least in general, that they WANT that extra half-yard. It's early, they have plenty of time to get dispirited but, again, after all that shit about the WRs in the off-and pre-season, man.
Lofa Tatupu (sp?) is making some really nice plays out there. Reacting to the ball really well.
WOW! Mike Furrey catches a 19-yarder for a much-needed first down and gets FLATTENED by, uh, some Seahawk or other. I mean plain old destroyed, clean hit as anything, shoulder to shoulder, but Furrey just had a total momentum shift there, going forward and then BAM, going backwards. Holds on for the first down. <3
So, uh, Jon Kitna's throwing the ball down the field. Remind me again why we never let Joey do this?
The first ball all day that Hasselbeck REALLY went all out for, really aired it out, and Dre Bly is the one who catches it. Out of bounds (he touched one foot down on the edge of the white line, but was firmly on the sidelines when his other foot came down), but still. Heh. Yay.
Hrmph. Seahawks make another field goal to make it 6-3 in the last second of the first half. Boo-ers, not a fun way to go into the lockerroom, I would much rather be tied.
Jimmy Johnson thinks that, despite all the hooha about the stuff right before the season, we're "establishing discipline" in Detroit. One penalty, I think, in the first half, for like 5 yards or something. That's RIDICULOUS for the Lions, who usually make so many shitty plays just because their minds aren't properly into it.
Go to Roy Williams on second down and 6, ball was kinda low, he was kinda covered, but it was definitely still catchable. And he didn't catch it. Dropped it.
Walter Jones gets his foot caught, out of the game. Hmm.
HORSESHIT play on Eddie Drummond. He catches the ball on a kickoff, sort of, and at pretty much the exact same time a Seahawks guy runs into him, hard, knocking it loose. He had no time at all to catch that. Maybe time to feel it in his hands, but certainly not enough time to secure it. The refs conference and decide to not call a penalty on the play. That is horseshit. That is total horseshit. He did not have enough time to properly catch the ball before he got hit, that is interference. HORSESHIT. The Ford Field crowd agrees with a low, prolonged boo that's still going on when they cut to commercial.
Oh, the refs said the Lion behind him gave him a push into Drummond. HORSESHIT. The Lion back there BARELY touched him, his fingers brushed against his lower back. It was hardly a touch, it was CERTAINLY NOT anything that would have changed his momentum in one way or another. Oh my god. That is so fucking... FUCK! Stupid fucking refs.
Big Kevin Jones first down called back because Roy Williams was moving on the line, even though he was, as the announcers point out, nowhere near the play. Grr. He then makes a catch on the next play and it's a first down by a slice of the nose of the football. He got a good spot. I am still not happy with you, Roy.
Kitna is one of the Lions' captains by unanimous vote of his teammates. Ah, Joey. On the one hand, I hate the way he was used and then run out of town here, but on the other hand... man, if our team has confidence in their quarterback? When was the last time we could say THAT?
KEVIN JONES! "Tackled", stayed up, fought his way forward. OMG. Kevin Jones=Mike Hart=LOVE.
Kitna throws it out of bounds on third down, and the crowd boos. Knew they still had it in 'em.
Arright. The pro football players as the high school football team? I kind of love this commercial. If I have to see it 8 billion times over the course of the season I'm sure I'll grow to hate it, but on first viewing it is pretty much basically awesome.
Boos starting to come fast and thick now. How easily Lions fans slide back into that. They've shown some good things today; unfortunately they've also shown a kind of general shittiness when it comes to getting the offense seriously going. Roy Williams and Kitna seem to be having a good amount of trouble getting together on passes. I dunno.
Oh my god. They just showed Trent Green getting knocked out in KC. Oh man, that hit did not look good.
Lions defense, at least, has looked very good so far. Hasselbeck is getting thrown around a lot and Alexander's been pretty much shut down.
Dan Campbell, 29 yard catch! Over Marcus Truffant's upstretched fingers. Eeee. :D
Someone ripped a hole in the back of the Sean Alexander's jersey. Little triangle of black shiny armor showing through right between his numbers and just under his name.
Jason Hanson ties the game, 7:05 left in the 4th quarter. 6-6. YES. Whole new ballgame, except now everyone's much more tired.
Shaun Rogers is having a sick, sick day. "Right there is a classic example of a bullrush, ladies and gentlemen."
Where the FUCK is the defense at the end of the game?? They're stopped all game, and then all of a sudden they're putting together all these long running plays and shit?? They're in SUCH easy field goal range right now it's not even funny. SHIT.
Ugh. Seahawks win it on a last second field goal. 9-6 final and everyone saw it coming. At least we held them down; the fewest points they scored all of last season (according to the FOX guys) was 13.
James Hall: "We wanted the win. It wasn't bout comin' out here to see how well we could play out here, we wanted a win... like I said, we came out here to win, we didn't come out here to put on a good performance." He shakes his head and compresses his lips, mildly disgusted, when the reporter asks how he feels about how well the defense played, how good their performance was even though they didn't win. Good attitude. Also very well-spoken. It's that good U of M education.
Marinelli: "There's no option, there's no solution other than winning, that's it, and I won't accept anything less, I won't accept ANYTHING LESS..."
[reporter asks, did you play well?] "Yeah, but I want more than that, we gotta come out as a team and win this thing... Penalties hurt us, and holding, and communication, we beat ourselves, that's something good football teams don't do, you can't beat yourself... Good football teams- which we're gonna be-have got to do those things, got to do them well... There's no excuses, there's none, what you gotta do, when you come under pressure in a game, you gotta put pressure on the men to win..."
[reporter asks if he thinks it's a good start anyhow] "Bad start, we lost, 0 and 1.... God, I just, I thrive on competition, I thrive on this stuff, to see men get excited... you just gotta win, though, that's part of it, the challenge is the winning..."
[reporter asks what he thinks of the fans] "Oh I think they're great, great fans, great city, great town..."
Roy Williams: "If I was Chicago, I'd be watchin' out... y'know offense, we played good, not great... and defense played their butts off, if we can get that 15 or 16 more times, we'll be in the playoffs..."
[reporter asks if they can improve] "Yeah, especially in my opinion my play, they tried to take me down with two guys and that worked pretty well... I think that we'll be a champion this year." Um, OK Roy. I don't remember seeing too much double-teaming, but whatever helps you sleep at night.
Kevin Jones: "There were a few late hits... I mean that's football, I can take it... I thought we played more physical than we used to... I don't know how many sacks we had today, but... Y'know I just want the ball in my hands so I can make plays, give me space so I can make plays, so we can win... every time we ran the ball either it was stopped, or we got 9 yards."
Jon Kitna: "I don't think they did anything exotic, I've seen teams take people away, they didn't do that, but they played good football today... we're gonna be fine, there's no question, I see it every day in practice... now we just have to understand how hard it is in this league to put 7, 8, 9, 10 plays together... it was awesome, it's exciting..."
[reporter asks about the defense] "On the other hand, the offense, we feel some frustration, because we feel like we didn't hold up our end of the bargain... there's a lot of plays you wish you could have back when you lose, but no [I can't think of one in particular]."
Fernando Bryant: "It's tough, it's tough cause we're in the business to win... the rest of the NFL, I'm sure they gonna be lookin'... oh he's [Shaun Rogers] a special player, bottom line, when Shaun's goin', I don't think there's anyone in the NFL who can block him... that's how you start buildin' things, yknow, you win in your division, you win in your division an then you gotta shot... we gotta get that winnin' taste in our mouth." Tastes like chicken.
EVERYONE keeps saying that they still need to look at film before they can really know what happened in the game. Sims, Marinelli, Roy, Kevin Jones. Hmm. Such an emphasis on film right now. Wonder where in the org it's coming from.
Eddie Drummond: "Well why today was so frustrating for us was because we said don't beat ourselves in this game, and that's what we did today... I don't think there's gonna be a defense this year that can stop us, so it's up to us... the defense, I mean, you can't play any better than they did today... you just have on the sidelines, the offense is real pumped up because of how the defense is playin'... if the defense plays that way all year, we gonna win way more games than we did last year... that's somethin we did not have in the past, guys with their head down, today everyone had their head up... fans were arright, after they noticed we were dominant a little, they were into it, they got us a couple timeouts actually, we always appreciate the fans... " Also very well-spoken.
Like I said, it was a respectable game. All the guys after the game seemed to think it was unacceptable to play well but lose, and while, after only one game, I'm willing to look on the positive side, it's heartening to know that they understand that it is not OK to lose even one game, not ever, and that the team who thinks it is is a team that will never get anywhere. This is all very new for the Lions of late.
Oh, and I was at the Michigan game on Saturday, where we had a RAIN DELAY. There's some NCAA rule that states if there's lightning within 5 miles of the stadium or something, it has to be delayed. Apparently there was lightning, because they suspended play for about 45 minutes. Everyone got soaked, but the two things that stand out most in my mind are the band, who kept us from mutinying by playing through the storm, and the stench. It was huge, and came in warm, nauseating, rolling waves. I'm not sure what it was; I suspect it was just the mass accumulated smell of thousands upon thousands of drunk, filthy students made wet. Like a wet dog, you know?
Anyways. Photos from that game are right here.Labels: football, gameblog, Lions, loss, NFL, Seahawks
2:58 AM
Monday, March 20, 2006
I suppose we've all heard by now about Joey and the great big Honolulu blue and silver boot hanging behind his rear. My uncle OF COURSE had to email me a link to the article where Joey was quoted as saying, "I hate everybody on this team and everybody hates me."
Right then. I suppose that about seals it, don't you think?
And so, with all due apologies to Robert Frost...
Two roads diverged in a bluesilver wood,
And sorry I could not travel both through
And be one quarterback, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent as goalposts do.
Then took the other, just as rare
And having perhaps the better claim
Because my name was not hated there;
Though as for my arm passing fair
My skills are really about the same.
And both that morning equally seem
Fields on which I should not take flak.
Oh, I kept the first for another dream!
Yet knowing how team leads on to team,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the team with less hatred nigh,
And that may not make a difference.
Argh.Labels: football, humor, Joey Harrington, Lions, NFL, poetry
1:25 AM
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Kit becoming a Cat?
That's the word on the electronic street, anyhow. Jon Kitna is said to have signed with the Lions for 4 years, making Carson Palmer a sad, sad man.
It's awfully hard for me to drag my brain away from baseball season enough to really think about this, but, 4 years? That's not a "here, sign for a year or two and backup this clearly much better dude" kind of contract. That's a "well OK you're going to backup but keep on your toes because you NEVER KNOW" kind of contract. They've said they're going with Joey next season, and they'll probably stick to that, but Kitna is being brought in to challenge as much as he's being brought in to wait on an injury.
And he's a much more potent challenge then Jeff "a good pass involves throwing the ball 100 feet vertically into the air and watching it land at your feet again" Garcia.
The writing's been on the wall for Joey for a long time now, but I think the wording's finally started to become clear. This signing doesn't say that the organization absolutely trusts Joey to carry them to a reasonably good record (see, I'm not even looking playoffs. I'm looking reasonably good record), and much as I love the dude I don't think they would have any reason to trust him with that. But Kitna's the kind of quarterback who could look great in a couple practices and get some Martzish minds awhirlin' when the season starts up again.
Of course, he's also older than Joey, and therefore much more likely to break into a billion tiny quarterback pieces when the offensive line crumbles for the 11,000th time in one quarter and he gets sacked by 5 opposing players at once.
I guess that's what Shaun King is for, right?Labels: contract, football, Jon Kitna, Lions, NFL
2:25 PM
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