IT was time to put up or shut up, so after laundry was well on its way and the bed linens were changed I got dressed to go outside. The sun was shining and the weather forecast promised not many more hours before the rains came again. The sky in the west was threatening, but the day was warm - in the 60s - and the spring bulbs that were languishing in the garage absolutely HAD to be planted.
And the oak leaf hydrangea in the front yard, that has been doing worse and worse every year, really needed to be moved to see if it would do better in richer soil. (I thought it was better to move them in the spring, but recently read fall was better. This way they can build up some stronger roots before the spring growing period.)
Of course, instead of warming up with a couple of turns around the yard and making raking a few leaves or picking up fallen branches, I went right to digging a hole in the back yard for the hydrangea! Whew! Out of breath fast and my shoulder muscles tightening up. I walked to the front yard, got the wheelbarrow and rolled it into the back yard to dump the leaves that were in it. Back to the front yard with the empty barrow and shovel and I got the plant out of the soil just fine. It was almost like it was ready to come and gave me no trouble.
Warmed up now and ready to do more.
I got the bulbs and started digging holes for them. Our Oregon soil has so much clay, I incorporated some compost in with the soil I put over the bulbs. I didn't have any bulb fertilizer, but I am hoping at least doing this much will help them. This part of the garden gets a little soggy, so it's either mold, rot or bloom. I'm hoping for the latter. In this photo it looks like I've buried the tulip bulbs in wet volcanic ash. These pink tulips are now planted with pink hyacinths. I really, really hope they brighten up this area in the spring.
I planted lilies, too, for the summer, and just remembered this minute that somewhere out there in the back yard (!!) I left a bag of calla lily bulbs. I'd better go look for them and take a flashlight. It's dark outside, even though it's only 6:30 p.m. (Today we turned the clocks back one hour and now our bodies are going to have to try and figure out what the heck's going on. Do they have such a thing in other countries?)
It is really damp outside and, like I said, the rains are going to begin again soon. It's nice to know, however, that the plant I've wanted to move for so long is in a new home and beginnings are planted for spring. It was good to be outside, moving around and being close to the earth. I got caught in a "leaf shower" when the wind came up and then it really rained for about five minutes. I kept working though, remembering my one time goal to be a professional gardener. No wimping out just because of a little moisture from the skies.
Well, I found the bulbs outside! Rescued! Now I think I will spend some time with NaNoWriMo - femminismo
Showing posts with label Nanowrimo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nanowrimo. Show all posts
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
A Day of Darkness, A Day of Rain
TODAY, when I awoke, there was no moonlight pouring through the skylight onto the bathroom floor. Ditto for the kitchen floor. So I knew it must be cloudy outside. And raining.
When I left the house at 7:45 a.m. it was still quite dark. The flaming trees dimly shone through the gloom and I thought the political supporters twirling signs at intersections at that time in the morning were the most devoted I'd ever seen.
Did I vote for the wrong person, I wondered. Did these people get paid to do this, or are they just ardent? Do they know something I don't? Oh, well. Too late now. The envelope is sealed.
The last two mornings on the way to work it's been difficult; I pay more attention to the trees and flocks of birds than my driving. Yesterday there was fog high off the ground, above the trees. The air was clear, the streets were dry, the leaves were gold and red, and there was a waning moon in the west to set it all off. Beautiful!
There were not many sun breaks today. Yesterday was really pretty nice and I should have gone for a walk ... but didn't. The birds I have been seeing in the sky, swooping through the mists, made me think of a great verb to use for birds in flight: The little birds' wings wiped across gray skies. You've seen this happen, I'm sure.
I love the flocks of smaller birds. Yesterday there was a small string of birds leading a large clump of birds. And the clump slowly started stringing out too, side by side, so it looked as if they were making a giant upside down "T" in the sky. Then, magically, they gather together again forming another clump.
Well, you can see why you don't want to be out at 7:45 a.m. driving on the same road as me!
It was dark on the way home tonight too. Never did get too cheery out. Time to go to Hawaii ... or Brazil ... or New Zealand!
The picture of the red leaves is from last fall. The "Art-Craft" picture on the right is just one I found in a blog file. I don't know if I've used it before, but I'm too lazy to go get something off my camera. I want to go read my book, "The Bad Girl," before it gets too late. Adios - femminismo
p.s. In just a few days NaNoWriMo begins and I once again question my sanity as I endeavor to write 50,000 words before the end of November! Arrgh! Why am I so foolish?
When I left the house at 7:45 a.m. it was still quite dark. The flaming trees dimly shone through the gloom and I thought the political supporters twirling signs at intersections at that time in the morning were the most devoted I'd ever seen.
Did I vote for the wrong person, I wondered. Did these people get paid to do this, or are they just ardent? Do they know something I don't? Oh, well. Too late now. The envelope is sealed.
The last two mornings on the way to work it's been difficult; I pay more attention to the trees and flocks of birds than my driving. Yesterday there was fog high off the ground, above the trees. The air was clear, the streets were dry, the leaves were gold and red, and there was a waning moon in the west to set it all off. Beautiful!
There were not many sun breaks today. Yesterday was really pretty nice and I should have gone for a walk ... but didn't. The birds I have been seeing in the sky, swooping through the mists, made me think of a great verb to use for birds in flight: The little birds' wings wiped across gray skies. You've seen this happen, I'm sure.
I love the flocks of smaller birds. Yesterday there was a small string of birds leading a large clump of birds. And the clump slowly started stringing out too, side by side, so it looked as if they were making a giant upside down "T" in the sky. Then, magically, they gather together again forming another clump.
Well, you can see why you don't want to be out at 7:45 a.m. driving on the same road as me!
It was dark on the way home tonight too. Never did get too cheery out. Time to go to Hawaii ... or Brazil ... or New Zealand!
The picture of the red leaves is from last fall. The "Art-Craft" picture on the right is just one I found in a blog file. I don't know if I've used it before, but I'm too lazy to go get something off my camera. I want to go read my book, "The Bad Girl," before it gets too late. Adios - femminismo
p.s. In just a few days NaNoWriMo begins and I once again question my sanity as I endeavor to write 50,000 words before the end of November! Arrgh! Why am I so foolish?
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Sunday, November 22, 2009
Rethinking and Reinventing ... a Life.
NANOWRIMO is eating my soul. Chores are eating my soul. If you read this post you will be able to see someone adding words to their NaNoWriMo storyline and how dirty it all is. I am not stopping for anything. Even paragraphs, so good luck on following my thoughts. I told the Mister this morning - or suggested to him - that we stop doing everything. I don't want to wash clothes any more or change the bed or answer the telephone or go to work or ... just don't want to do anything.
(Oops! A paragraph.) I feel tired out and used up and washed out. I can't take on one more project in November and yet I have signed up for NaNoWriMo and it's not getting done. I did it in 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 and I'm wondering if I really need 50,000 more words of something I don't do anything with. Don't worry. I am not truly depressed, but just tired of fulfilling chores that require me to be somewhere else and not working with my hands at doing something beautiful (to me anyway). Something beautiful would involve paint and scissors and glue and glitter and more images clipped from here and there. Will the police come to the door if I don't finish 50,000 words? No, of course not. So I may opt out this year and just give myself a break. I think it would be a big, big relief. I have been getting my e-mail pep talks "You can do it!" type of thing. "I've been there, and we find out we can do more than we think we can." Etc, etc.
I know that and I think I'm doing that every single day anyway. I am learning Dreamweaver and on Friday I updated our company Web site, so there is no lack of learning new stuff. There is also the new copy machine at work that involves printing, stapling, folding, bypass trays, Tray 1, Tray 2, Tray 3 and thick 2 paper, thick 3 - Yikes! Learning, learning, learning, and everything takes three times longer.
Well, I have blathered on long enough. If you have made it this far, you will know I'm feeling frustrated and tired and overworked. I no longer wish to peer into the computer screen for more than 8 hours. I want a break. I want to work with my hands on actual physical objects. So this November I declare myself free, free, free to do what I want (within limits, of course) - femminismo
p.s. Needless to say, I still require more practice with Photoshop!
p.p.s. YES, it did feel GOOD to draw my dream about stabbing the copier!
(Oops! A paragraph.) I feel tired out and used up and washed out. I can't take on one more project in November and yet I have signed up for NaNoWriMo and it's not getting done. I did it in 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 and I'm wondering if I really need 50,000 more words of something I don't do anything with. Don't worry. I am not truly depressed, but just tired of fulfilling chores that require me to be somewhere else and not working with my hands at doing something beautiful (to me anyway). Something beautiful would involve paint and scissors and glue and glitter and more images clipped from here and there. Will the police come to the door if I don't finish 50,000 words? No, of course not. So I may opt out this year and just give myself a break. I think it would be a big, big relief. I have been getting my e-mail pep talks "You can do it!" type of thing. "I've been there, and we find out we can do more than we think we can." Etc, etc.
I know that and I think I'm doing that every single day anyway. I am learning Dreamweaver and on Friday I updated our company Web site, so there is no lack of learning new stuff. There is also the new copy machine at work that involves printing, stapling, folding, bypass trays, Tray 1, Tray 2, Tray 3 and thick 2 paper, thick 3 - Yikes! Learning, learning, learning, and everything takes three times longer.
Well, I have blathered on long enough. If you have made it this far, you will know I'm feeling frustrated and tired and overworked. I no longer wish to peer into the computer screen for more than 8 hours. I want a break. I want to work with my hands on actual physical objects. So this November I declare myself free, free, free to do what I want (within limits, of course) - femminismo
p.s. Needless to say, I still require more practice with Photoshop!
p.p.s. YES, it did feel GOOD to draw my dream about stabbing the copier!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
It's a NaNoWriMo Day!
I WROTE 1,678 word at lunch to add to my total at the left under NaNoWriMo.
Yes, indeed, I am so proud of myself.
There will be more to this post later. Right now I am due back from lunch at work.
Adios until this evening.
Jeanne
WELL, I didn't get back to post anything momentous. However, on Monday, a super windy day in Oregon, I got outside in the midst of all of it and took a picture of "my tree." (I'm watching over it, documenting it this winter and spring.) You can see the wind bending the very top.
AND, NaNoWriMo, Candace said, is an especially cruel mistress this year - femminismo
Yes, indeed, I am so proud of myself.
There will be more to this post later. Right now I am due back from lunch at work.
Adios until this evening.
Jeanne
WELL, I didn't get back to post anything momentous. However, on Monday, a super windy day in Oregon, I got outside in the midst of all of it and took a picture of "my tree." (I'm watching over it, documenting it this winter and spring.) You can see the wind bending the very top.
AND, NaNoWriMo, Candace said, is an especially cruel mistress this year - femminismo
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Building Momentum. Yee hah!
I'VE DONE IT! I've smashed through the 25,000 word barrier! I am halfway to NaNoWriMo Heaven!
I almost can't believe it, but there was my word count. My goal this evening was 25K and I made it and you all will probably never hear the end of it ... unless I don't write 50,000 words by the end of November and then I will go gently into that good night and keep my yap shut forevermore.
My story has changed dramatically. (Excerpt is below in previous post.) I was going to abandon the death of Lily for something else, but upon reflection - and a bowl of tapioca pudding - I believe I will still be able to use her tragic demise to make Nellie's life a conflicted, torturous mess. Oh, don't we love to put our characters through the wringer.
The Mister's knee is doing OK, but today we discovered that our property taxes were due on Nov. 17. We missed paying early and saving $80 - that would have paid most of the electric bill. And now we may have to pay a penalty! Maybe if I tell them my Mister had surgery and I'm doing NaNoWriMo? Surely "they" would understand. Oh, never mind. I'm sure they've heard every excuse in the book. Most of them much better than mine. I'll pay it tomorrow and ask if we owe the county more.
The picture above is one I took upon leaving work tonight. The sky was really glowing and the light rail train was just pulling into the station. I then went to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription and ran into a young man who/whom I used to discipline on the playground when he was a sixth-grader and I was in another life. (Not literally, but figuratively. We've all come through several "lives" haven't we, just like cats?) Looks like he grew up to be a good guy. That's cool to know.
Today was a busy work day. My flowers - cosmos - are the last of the season and worse for wear due to frost last night. I think when I make 30,000 words I'll buy myself flowers from the florist for my desk.
Here is a journal page, too. It's not quite finished, but is sort of a new tangent I'm off on: Doing an illustration of real things, people or scenes that touch, inspire or make me laugh. I'm going to save them in a special book I bought today.
I know, I know, I should finish one thing before starting another, but then I'd never get anything done, believe it or not - femminismo
I almost can't believe it, but there was my word count. My goal this evening was 25K and I made it and you all will probably never hear the end of it ... unless I don't write 50,000 words by the end of November and then I will go gently into that good night and keep my yap shut forevermore.
My story has changed dramatically. (Excerpt is below in previous post.) I was going to abandon the death of Lily for something else, but upon reflection - and a bowl of tapioca pudding - I believe I will still be able to use her tragic demise to make Nellie's life a conflicted, torturous mess. Oh, don't we love to put our characters through the wringer.
The Mister's knee is doing OK, but today we discovered that our property taxes were due on Nov. 17. We missed paying early and saving $80 - that would have paid most of the electric bill. And now we may have to pay a penalty! Maybe if I tell them my Mister had surgery and I'm doing NaNoWriMo? Surely "they" would understand. Oh, never mind. I'm sure they've heard every excuse in the book. Most of them much better than mine. I'll pay it tomorrow and ask if we owe the county more.
The picture above is one I took upon leaving work tonight. The sky was really glowing and the light rail train was just pulling into the station. I then went to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription and ran into a young man who/whom I used to discipline on the playground when he was a sixth-grader and I was in another life. (Not literally, but figuratively. We've all come through several "lives" haven't we, just like cats?) Looks like he grew up to be a good guy. That's cool to know.
Today was a busy work day. My flowers - cosmos - are the last of the season and worse for wear due to frost last night. I think when I make 30,000 words I'll buy myself flowers from the florist for my desk.
Here is a journal page, too. It's not quite finished, but is sort of a new tangent I'm off on: Doing an illustration of real things, people or scenes that touch, inspire or make me laugh. I'm going to save them in a special book I bought today.
I know, I know, I should finish one thing before starting another, but then I'd never get anything done, believe it or not - femminismo
Monday, November 17, 2008
NaNoWriMo - the Excerpt.
WELL, here it is. Just a bit of the little over 20,000 words I've written. I finally busted through that frontier. Now ... just ... 30 ... thousand ... more. : (
A LONG TIME AGO I swallowed a secret – a secret so big that many a dark night it has threatened to consume me, just as I once consumed it.
All of us have secrets. Some are not as big as mine; some, I imagine, are even bigger.
What's your secret? Did you once tell a fellow you had a baby inside you, even though you didn't, just so he'd marry you? Did you stand someone up and pretend you'd not even made a date? Something small like that, something that even though it was small could have changed destinies?
Did you shake a baby just a little bit too hard when it wouldn't stop crying? Did you lie in any way, shape or form to save yourself a bit of trouble, or conveniently forget things that weigh heavily on the average human heart?
I can remember waiting and dreading the day when someone would know it. Someone might remember something that could lead them back to me and my guilt.
But it didn't bother me as much after Win died. For Win was the only one who knew my secret ... as far as I knew.
The day started much as any other. We were somewhere we shouldn't have been, Lily and I, and we were doing something we were not permitted to do.
We were down by the shore of the lake exploring. That was allowed. We were on our own time; it was our day off, Sunday. It was a day off for most of the loggers, too.
No one worked on Sunday and a lot of the men attended the church service in the local town, mostly at the insistence of Mrs. O'Reilly, the camp boss's wife. She had an evangelistic streak in her ever since she had left the Catholic church and joined the Baptists in town. I wondered what it took to push someone that far from one way to the other. Why did Mrs. O'Reilly change faiths so dramatically?
Lily and I were picking flowers to take back to our room at the logging camp. The cabin we were in was quite plain and we had gathered some magazine pictures and pinned them on the wall. It made the place brighter – a little bit – but what wouldn't we give for real wallpaper. Wallpaper like I had on my walls at home in the bedroom. It had been a long time since I'd thought of Canada and mama and papa, but Sundays always had a way of making me wonder how things were going for them back home.
Lily and I were there for about an hour, walking farther away from the camp toward the north end of the lake. We'd been warned not to go there since there were sphagnum bogs that could suck young women in and leave not a trace behind, Mrs. Avery had said.
That was when we came upon the boat tied up to a large rock at the bottom of Cleetwood Cove Trail. I couldn't believe the boat ramp was deserted. Usually there was someone waiting for a ride out to Wizard Island, but I supposed there were lunch breaks for the men who ran the boat out.
No one was about on this sleepy Sunday late in September. Soon the snows would be coming and we wouldn't see anyone here or at the camp, unless they were the folks who had to stay with us and keep things going until the end of October.
Then Lily and I would be moving into town to work in the hotel where Mrs. Avery had promised to find us jobs.
“Nellie, let's take this boat out on the water,” Lily exclaimed.
“Oh, no, you don't,” I replied. “You are not going to go getting me into trouble. I don't want to go on the boat.”
“Let's just sit in it then and pretend we're out on the water.”
I couldn't see anything wrong with that. We looked around and didn't see anyone.
“You get in first,” Lily said.
I hopped in and as soon as my back was turned, Lily pulled the rope off the rock and jumped in, pushing against the rock with her foot.
“Lily! What are you doing? We can't take this boat out. We just can't.”
“Oh, relax, Nellie. You are such a nervous Nellie, you certainly live up to your name. We won't go far off shore. I just want to sit here and forget about all the work back at the camp. We're going to be working all winter, too, in the hotel. Do this, do that. We won't get a moment's peace. It's so nice here and I just want to forget about everything. Everything.”
She laid back in the boat that was now drifting in the water, farther from the shore than made me comfortable.
I sat down and grabbed hold of each side of the boat.
“You drive me crazy, Lily. Why did you want to go and do this. What if we fall in?”
“No one is going to fall in,” she said lazily. “All we have to do is sit still and we can use the oars to get us back when the time comes. The sun will be up for quite a while longer. Say, did you eat all your lunch?”
“Yes, I did. OK, we'll stay here for just a little while and then you promise we'll go back, right?”
“Yes, yes. I promise."
It was making me real nervous, floating farther and farther away from the shore. I couldn't go to sleep like Lily, who seemed to take everything with a grain of salt. There were noises of something hitting against the sides of the boat, and at first I thought it was the gentle slap of the waves. Then I decided it was the fish in the water that most of the men sought from the shores of Wizard Island. The lake looked so blue from up above on the edges of the crater. Mrs. Avery said it had been formed when God was a child, so I guess it was pretty old.
After a while the sun began to sink in the sky; clouds were coming in. Eventually the cool air woke Lily. She sat up and stretched like a kitten, yawning like one too.
“Oh, that was a good sleep. But it's gotten cold." She rubbed arms hands along her arms. "Where did these clouds come from?”
I looked up and said, “They've been coming in for just the last few minutes. I didn't want to wake you.”
“Well you should have. Storms come up quickly on lakes. There might be lightning this time of year.”
She reached for the oars but the boat was too broad for her to grasp both of them.
“Take one of the oars, Nellie. Let's work together getting this boat in.”
I shifted my weight a little and the boat rocked. I screamed and grabbed for Lily.
“Quit that!” she snapped. “Just stay still. I'll get it. Good grief, how come I have to do everything around here?”
Lily stood up and stepped over me to get to the other side of the boat where the oar was. She was rocking the boat again and I was terrified we would capsize. I grabbed hold of Lily's legs and she tripped and came down hard.
She grunted and I heard a thunk when her head hit the metal lock where the oar fit in. Her body cartwheeled over and, splash, she was in the water.
“Lily!” I screamed. There she was floating alongside the boat and I could see the red blood bubbling from her head but she didn't make any effort at all to swim or fight her way back onto the boat. Her eyes were closed just as they had been when she'd been sleeping. Her body began to slip into the water, deeper and deeper.
I reached out my fingers and touched her skirt that was floating in the water. The material was covered with a pink flower print. I remembered Win's words to her back at the camp. “That dress looks real pretty on you, Lily.”
I saw Win in my mind's eye, the way he looked at the wash basin outside the camp when he'd come in from the woods, stripped to the waist and splashed cool water over his steaming body. I remembered the woodsy smell of him, the pine sap on his shirt a clean perfume. I thought of how I wanted Win for my own.
I looked toward shore and didn't see anyone at all. No one was about.
Then I looked at Lily again. I didn't want Win this way. Not this way!
I took the oar from the lock and pushed at Lily, and heard myself screaming, “Lily, grab the oar. Lily!”
She was floating away from the boat and sinking deeper into the cold, dark water. Then suddenly, she was gone.
Once, long ago, I swallowed a secret so big I thought surely someone would be able to tell by looking closely enough at me. My eyes would reflect the scene – someone would glimpse it.
Like the magician who swallows pingpong balls and then makes them appear under his hat or between his fingers or in someone's pocket, I thought surely that secret would show up again. Someone would discover how the magician performed this particular trick and uncover him – uncover me – by knowing something. Or someone who had seen how I did this thing – this swallowing up of guilt and fear.
Did I ever look happy? Even when I was laughing on the glass bottom boat on the way to Santa Catalina Island, did I really look so carefree and unconcerned?
A LONG TIME AGO I swallowed a secret – a secret so big that many a dark night it has threatened to consume me, just as I once consumed it.
All of us have secrets. Some are not as big as mine; some, I imagine, are even bigger.
What's your secret? Did you once tell a fellow you had a baby inside you, even though you didn't, just so he'd marry you? Did you stand someone up and pretend you'd not even made a date? Something small like that, something that even though it was small could have changed destinies?
Did you shake a baby just a little bit too hard when it wouldn't stop crying? Did you lie in any way, shape or form to save yourself a bit of trouble, or conveniently forget things that weigh heavily on the average human heart?
I can remember waiting and dreading the day when someone would know it. Someone might remember something that could lead them back to me and my guilt.
But it didn't bother me as much after Win died. For Win was the only one who knew my secret ... as far as I knew.
The day started much as any other. We were somewhere we shouldn't have been, Lily and I, and we were doing something we were not permitted to do.
We were down by the shore of the lake exploring. That was allowed. We were on our own time; it was our day off, Sunday. It was a day off for most of the loggers, too.
No one worked on Sunday and a lot of the men attended the church service in the local town, mostly at the insistence of Mrs. O'Reilly, the camp boss's wife. She had an evangelistic streak in her ever since she had left the Catholic church and joined the Baptists in town. I wondered what it took to push someone that far from one way to the other. Why did Mrs. O'Reilly change faiths so dramatically?
Lily and I were picking flowers to take back to our room at the logging camp. The cabin we were in was quite plain and we had gathered some magazine pictures and pinned them on the wall. It made the place brighter – a little bit – but what wouldn't we give for real wallpaper. Wallpaper like I had on my walls at home in the bedroom. It had been a long time since I'd thought of Canada and mama and papa, but Sundays always had a way of making me wonder how things were going for them back home.
Lily and I were there for about an hour, walking farther away from the camp toward the north end of the lake. We'd been warned not to go there since there were sphagnum bogs that could suck young women in and leave not a trace behind, Mrs. Avery had said.
That was when we came upon the boat tied up to a large rock at the bottom of Cleetwood Cove Trail. I couldn't believe the boat ramp was deserted. Usually there was someone waiting for a ride out to Wizard Island, but I supposed there were lunch breaks for the men who ran the boat out.
No one was about on this sleepy Sunday late in September. Soon the snows would be coming and we wouldn't see anyone here or at the camp, unless they were the folks who had to stay with us and keep things going until the end of October.
Then Lily and I would be moving into town to work in the hotel where Mrs. Avery had promised to find us jobs.
“Nellie, let's take this boat out on the water,” Lily exclaimed.
“Oh, no, you don't,” I replied. “You are not going to go getting me into trouble. I don't want to go on the boat.”
“Let's just sit in it then and pretend we're out on the water.”
I couldn't see anything wrong with that. We looked around and didn't see anyone.
“You get in first,” Lily said.
I hopped in and as soon as my back was turned, Lily pulled the rope off the rock and jumped in, pushing against the rock with her foot.
“Lily! What are you doing? We can't take this boat out. We just can't.”
“Oh, relax, Nellie. You are such a nervous Nellie, you certainly live up to your name. We won't go far off shore. I just want to sit here and forget about all the work back at the camp. We're going to be working all winter, too, in the hotel. Do this, do that. We won't get a moment's peace. It's so nice here and I just want to forget about everything. Everything.”
She laid back in the boat that was now drifting in the water, farther from the shore than made me comfortable.
I sat down and grabbed hold of each side of the boat.
“You drive me crazy, Lily. Why did you want to go and do this. What if we fall in?”
“No one is going to fall in,” she said lazily. “All we have to do is sit still and we can use the oars to get us back when the time comes. The sun will be up for quite a while longer. Say, did you eat all your lunch?”
“Yes, I did. OK, we'll stay here for just a little while and then you promise we'll go back, right?”
“Yes, yes. I promise."
It was making me real nervous, floating farther and farther away from the shore. I couldn't go to sleep like Lily, who seemed to take everything with a grain of salt. There were noises of something hitting against the sides of the boat, and at first I thought it was the gentle slap of the waves. Then I decided it was the fish in the water that most of the men sought from the shores of Wizard Island. The lake looked so blue from up above on the edges of the crater. Mrs. Avery said it had been formed when God was a child, so I guess it was pretty old.
After a while the sun began to sink in the sky; clouds were coming in. Eventually the cool air woke Lily. She sat up and stretched like a kitten, yawning like one too.
“Oh, that was a good sleep. But it's gotten cold." She rubbed arms hands along her arms. "Where did these clouds come from?”
I looked up and said, “They've been coming in for just the last few minutes. I didn't want to wake you.”
“Well you should have. Storms come up quickly on lakes. There might be lightning this time of year.”
She reached for the oars but the boat was too broad for her to grasp both of them.
“Take one of the oars, Nellie. Let's work together getting this boat in.”
I shifted my weight a little and the boat rocked. I screamed and grabbed for Lily.
“Quit that!” she snapped. “Just stay still. I'll get it. Good grief, how come I have to do everything around here?”
Lily stood up and stepped over me to get to the other side of the boat where the oar was. She was rocking the boat again and I was terrified we would capsize. I grabbed hold of Lily's legs and she tripped and came down hard.
She grunted and I heard a thunk when her head hit the metal lock where the oar fit in. Her body cartwheeled over and, splash, she was in the water.
“Lily!” I screamed. There she was floating alongside the boat and I could see the red blood bubbling from her head but she didn't make any effort at all to swim or fight her way back onto the boat. Her eyes were closed just as they had been when she'd been sleeping. Her body began to slip into the water, deeper and deeper.
I reached out my fingers and touched her skirt that was floating in the water. The material was covered with a pink flower print. I remembered Win's words to her back at the camp. “That dress looks real pretty on you, Lily.”
I saw Win in my mind's eye, the way he looked at the wash basin outside the camp when he'd come in from the woods, stripped to the waist and splashed cool water over his steaming body. I remembered the woodsy smell of him, the pine sap on his shirt a clean perfume. I thought of how I wanted Win for my own.
I looked toward shore and didn't see anyone at all. No one was about.
Then I looked at Lily again. I didn't want Win this way. Not this way!
I took the oar from the lock and pushed at Lily, and heard myself screaming, “Lily, grab the oar. Lily!”
She was floating away from the boat and sinking deeper into the cold, dark water. Then suddenly, she was gone.
Once, long ago, I swallowed a secret so big I thought surely someone would be able to tell by looking closely enough at me. My eyes would reflect the scene – someone would glimpse it.
Like the magician who swallows pingpong balls and then makes them appear under his hat or between his fingers or in someone's pocket, I thought surely that secret would show up again. Someone would discover how the magician performed this particular trick and uncover him – uncover me – by knowing something. Or someone who had seen how I did this thing – this swallowing up of guilt and fear.
Did I ever look happy? Even when I was laughing on the glass bottom boat on the way to Santa Catalina Island, did I really look so carefree and unconcerned?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
What Hasn't Been Going On?
WELL, I can tell you what hasn't been going on. I haven't been posting. I have been busy working, participating in NaNoWriMo (17,767 words as of tonight) and then, today, the Mister had some arthroscopic knee surgery.
His meniscus was torn, on the outside of his knee, but the surgeon was able to repair it. Now I am serving him tea and soup (the Mister, not the doctor) and other comforting foods after his day-surgery and tedious "wait time" in the hospital. All very tiring.
All the nurses said he was very patient. Hmm. Talking about my Mister?
He walked into the house from the car and has taken his pain pills and is keeping the knee elevated and iced. I hope he has a peaceful night and doesn't wake up in pain at ANY point. Because then that means that I will have to wake up too, and then it will become readily evident what a crappy nurse - and all around human being - I am.
I am also on edge and tired myself because when someone you dearly loves is having foreign objects inserted into his body and is being given anesthesia and has a huge bandage on his leg, you sort of get to thinking of how you'd really miss that person if they weren't around - you know what I mean?
So go find that guy or gal - or that kitty cat or puppy dog - and give them a big ol' smooch. That's what femminismo sez!
p.s. Doesn't the heart give this knee the perfect touch? What a good sport Mister is.
His meniscus was torn, on the outside of his knee, but the surgeon was able to repair it. Now I am serving him tea and soup (the Mister, not the doctor) and other comforting foods after his day-surgery and tedious "wait time" in the hospital. All very tiring.
All the nurses said he was very patient. Hmm. Talking about my Mister?
He walked into the house from the car and has taken his pain pills and is keeping the knee elevated and iced. I hope he has a peaceful night and doesn't wake up in pain at ANY point. Because then that means that I will have to wake up too, and then it will become readily evident what a crappy nurse - and all around human being - I am.
I am also on edge and tired myself because when someone you dearly loves is having foreign objects inserted into his body and is being given anesthesia and has a huge bandage on his leg, you sort of get to thinking of how you'd really miss that person if they weren't around - you know what I mean?
So go find that guy or gal - or that kitty cat or puppy dog - and give them a big ol' smooch. That's what femminismo sez!
p.s. Doesn't the heart give this knee the perfect touch? What a good sport Mister is.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Twinchies and Journal Pages.
WORDS (Nanowrimo words) fall by the wayside as I concentrate on housework, "twinchies" (2-inch squares) for SoulJournal and altering a book on the Greeks so it can become my latest journal.
Actually I have about 12,000 words for Nanowrimo, so I'm feeling good about that. Good about the word count, but not the story quality. : ( Right now, however, it's the word count that counts.
For those who would like the encouragement of working on journal pages with others - and thereby actually getting something done because of peer pressure - go to www.collagediva. com and join the Yahoo group. You'll soon be up to your elbows in glue, paint and glitter, I'll bet.
Our SoulJournal group is making 2-inch square collaged bits that will become what you see when you open up a "door" a day on an Advent calendar. I've never made one before. Someone in the group had the idea we put little sliding matchboxes behind the calendar so they could be opened and have a treat inside. The picture would be on the outside of the matchbox cover. This is a wonderful idea. A small piece of chocolate every night will help me prevail and not eat all of the cookies I plan to bake and freeze.
I like the journal page quote above, from what a wandering Greek sage (traditionally the great Athenian lawgiver, Solon) allegedly told Croesus, who was then said to be the richest man on earth. Wealth and power can disappear overnight - "and the sum of a man's good fortune can never be known until his days have ended."
Here is a photo of my two twinchies, which represent "the present" and "relationship." And here is a photo I took on Saturday, when it poured like there was no tomorrow. I guess this sunset was trying to make up for our drippy trees and torrential rainfall - femminismo
p.s. I was so glad to see Judy Wise posted something. I forgot she was going to Mexico and I got worried about her. It's not like her to go so long between posts. It looks like she had a wonderful time!
Actually I have about 12,000 words for Nanowrimo, so I'm feeling good about that. Good about the word count, but not the story quality. : ( Right now, however, it's the word count that counts.
For those who would like the encouragement of working on journal pages with others - and thereby actually getting something done because of peer pressure - go to www.collagediva. com and join the Yahoo group. You'll soon be up to your elbows in glue, paint and glitter, I'll bet.
Our SoulJournal group is making 2-inch square collaged bits that will become what you see when you open up a "door" a day on an Advent calendar. I've never made one before. Someone in the group had the idea we put little sliding matchboxes behind the calendar so they could be opened and have a treat inside. The picture would be on the outside of the matchbox cover. This is a wonderful idea. A small piece of chocolate every night will help me prevail and not eat all of the cookies I plan to bake and freeze.
I like the journal page quote above, from what a wandering Greek sage (traditionally the great Athenian lawgiver, Solon) allegedly told Croesus, who was then said to be the richest man on earth. Wealth and power can disappear overnight - "and the sum of a man's good fortune can never be known until his days have ended."
Here is a photo of my two twinchies, which represent "the present" and "relationship." And here is a photo I took on Saturday, when it poured like there was no tomorrow. I guess this sunset was trying to make up for our drippy trees and torrential rainfall - femminismo
p.s. I was so glad to see Judy Wise posted something. I forgot she was going to Mexico and I got worried about her. It's not like her to go so long between posts. It looks like she had a wonderful time!
Labels:
altered book journal pages,
Judy Wise,
Nanowrimo,
SoulJournal,
twinchies
Thursday, November 6, 2008
A Little of This ... A Little of That.
TIME is racing much too quickly and I'm behind on my Nanowrimo word count, which I vowed wouldn't happen - but did.
It couldn't be because I've aimlessly been wandering around the house when I'm not at work, or volunteering or doing yoga, could it?
Fall is in full swing here in Oregon, with all the lovely leaves falling, falling, falling - as you can see in the picture here. The Mister and I came out into the kitchen one morning and it was as if it had snowed. The overhead windows in the sunroom off the kitchen were almost completely covered, obscuring the light and making our little house much darker. The leaves are gone now. He got busy and washed them all off. I miss them, but I like the light.
I don't know if I told you I joined a journaling group where we get "prompts" on Sunday to jog our brains and get us working creatively in our journals. It's called SoulJournal. Here is a page done with favorite phrases I chose that struck a chord with me. Some are my own, others belong to people whose thoughts I admire. If you have a favorite I'll try and find it for you. Or you can always Google it.
Tonight I hopefully got rid of some malware that landed in my computer. It was a "popup" that told me my computer was infected. Said to download Microsoft virus cleanup to "pervent" damage to my files. So I searched for help online and found some that looked legit. I had to go into my system configuration utility and deselect "brastk." (Which I was happy to do!) Well, the popup is gone, and the little red circle with the white X is gone from the toolbar. Let's hope it stays that way. Remember: Be careful out there! It can be a wide, dangerous Webiverse.
On a much, much brighter note: I attended Valley Art Gallery's Annual Artist Event on Monday and bought myself something wonderful. It's the bracelet you see in the photo, the one with the crystals, silver skulls and the onyx horn-shaped charm. Handmade by Linda Hayes, a Yamhill, Oregon jewelry artist. She studied books and writings on the Vikings and fashioned a bracelet that one of the Viking maidens might have worn. I will wear it as my charm as I ruthlessly crank out the words for Nanowrimo! Offhand, I cannot think of anyone who deserves something like this more than - femminismo!
It couldn't be because I've aimlessly been wandering around the house when I'm not at work, or volunteering or doing yoga, could it?
Fall is in full swing here in Oregon, with all the lovely leaves falling, falling, falling - as you can see in the picture here. The Mister and I came out into the kitchen one morning and it was as if it had snowed. The overhead windows in the sunroom off the kitchen were almost completely covered, obscuring the light and making our little house much darker. The leaves are gone now. He got busy and washed them all off. I miss them, but I like the light.
I don't know if I told you I joined a journaling group where we get "prompts" on Sunday to jog our brains and get us working creatively in our journals. It's called SoulJournal. Here is a page done with favorite phrases I chose that struck a chord with me. Some are my own, others belong to people whose thoughts I admire. If you have a favorite I'll try and find it for you. Or you can always Google it.
Tonight I hopefully got rid of some malware that landed in my computer. It was a "popup" that told me my computer was infected. Said to download Microsoft virus cleanup to "pervent" damage to my files. So I searched for help online and found some that looked legit. I had to go into my system configuration utility and deselect "brastk." (Which I was happy to do!) Well, the popup is gone, and the little red circle with the white X is gone from the toolbar. Let's hope it stays that way. Remember: Be careful out there! It can be a wide, dangerous Webiverse.
On a much, much brighter note: I attended Valley Art Gallery's Annual Artist Event on Monday and bought myself something wonderful. It's the bracelet you see in the photo, the one with the crystals, silver skulls and the onyx horn-shaped charm. Handmade by Linda Hayes, a Yamhill, Oregon jewelry artist. She studied books and writings on the Vikings and fashioned a bracelet that one of the Viking maidens might have worn. I will wear it as my charm as I ruthlessly crank out the words for Nanowrimo! Offhand, I cannot think of anyone who deserves something like this more than - femminismo!
Labels:
brastk,
Linda Hayes,
Nanowrimo,
SoulJournal,
viking bracelet
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Lunch With Sis ... and Autumn's So Pretty It Hurts.
MY sister, one year younger than me, was down from Washington to visit and on Saturday I lured her to my new favorite place to eat, Out Aza Blue, in Gales Creek.
We split a buffalo burger with bleu cheese. I had salad and she had potato chips (homemade). Our mother used to make these when we were young and they went as quickly as they came out of the pan. The Out Aza Blue chips were really crisp and light. Mom would have loved them, especially since she wouldn't have had to do any of the work.
The drive to Gales Creek was breathtaking. The yellow, gold and scarlet deciduous trees were mingled among the evergreens and seemed more beautiful than any other fall in decades. On the way back home it was raining a bit, but nothing could dim their loveliness.
Today, Sunday, we went out to breakfast and then to work off some of the calories from the egg-coated, rolled-oat covered sourdough bread french toast with apple slices (cream cheese icing on the side) I raked leaves - the photo is a conglomeration of images, with a before and after shot of the path I made - worked on my altered art journal and went grocery shopping for our own groceries and something to make for the Valley Art Annual Artist Event members night reception tomorrow evening. (Turned out to be a veggie platter.)
The Mister and I collaborated on dinner: He cooked hamburger, onions, chili powder and tomatoes in a pan and I made the cornbread to pour on top. Then it all baked in the oven. He even asked me if I wanted to take a picture of it, but I guess I knew I had enough photos already to post.
I am working on Nanowrimo, but I'm not at all happy with the words I've put together so far. I know that's not really the point, and my brain is still freeing itself up, but still it's disappointing. I guess I thought it might come together more easily. I've tried writing longhand, on the computer, changing chairs and writing surfaces - and it's just not working quite right. Well, when it does, though, it will be a bonus - femminismo
We split a buffalo burger with bleu cheese. I had salad and she had potato chips (homemade). Our mother used to make these when we were young and they went as quickly as they came out of the pan. The Out Aza Blue chips were really crisp and light. Mom would have loved them, especially since she wouldn't have had to do any of the work.
The drive to Gales Creek was breathtaking. The yellow, gold and scarlet deciduous trees were mingled among the evergreens and seemed more beautiful than any other fall in decades. On the way back home it was raining a bit, but nothing could dim their loveliness.
Today, Sunday, we went out to breakfast and then to work off some of the calories from the egg-coated, rolled-oat covered sourdough bread french toast with apple slices (cream cheese icing on the side) I raked leaves - the photo is a conglomeration of images, with a before and after shot of the path I made - worked on my altered art journal and went grocery shopping for our own groceries and something to make for the Valley Art Annual Artist Event members night reception tomorrow evening. (Turned out to be a veggie platter.)
The Mister and I collaborated on dinner: He cooked hamburger, onions, chili powder and tomatoes in a pan and I made the cornbread to pour on top. Then it all baked in the oven. He even asked me if I wanted to take a picture of it, but I guess I knew I had enough photos already to post.
I am working on Nanowrimo, but I'm not at all happy with the words I've put together so far. I know that's not really the point, and my brain is still freeing itself up, but still it's disappointing. I guess I thought it might come together more easily. I've tried writing longhand, on the computer, changing chairs and writing surfaces - and it's just not working quite right. Well, when it does, though, it will be a bonus - femminismo
Friday, October 31, 2008
The Clock is Ticking.
YOU BET the clock is ticking. Always is.
With the end of this month, the time is running out for relaxing cups of tea and lay-abouts on the sofa with the newspaper.
It's time to be thinking of plots, great verbs, unusual situations and channeling the thoughts of characters who pop into your head unbidden. It's time to keep a pad and pencil by the bedside for those middle of the night excellent thoughts. It's time for typing on and on without really thinking just to get those 1,200 words - or thereabouts - on the hard drive every day to reach the Nanowrimo goal of 50,000 before November's last few hours elapse.
Tonight my brother came over and handed out candy to trick or treaters so I was able to do a little bit in my art journal. Above is something I did on the theme of webs for the Yahoo SoulJournal group. (You can join if you want, I'll bet. I'll give out the contact in the next post.) The original idea was "Web of Love," I believe. But mine came out "Web of Good Intentions."
I will try not to let all these "sticky" things get between me and writing during the month of November.
So I will say goodbye to October 2008 forever and to you ... only for the night - femminismo
With the end of this month, the time is running out for relaxing cups of tea and lay-abouts on the sofa with the newspaper.
It's time to be thinking of plots, great verbs, unusual situations and channeling the thoughts of characters who pop into your head unbidden. It's time to keep a pad and pencil by the bedside for those middle of the night excellent thoughts. It's time for typing on and on without really thinking just to get those 1,200 words - or thereabouts - on the hard drive every day to reach the Nanowrimo goal of 50,000 before November's last few hours elapse.
Tonight my brother came over and handed out candy to trick or treaters so I was able to do a little bit in my art journal. Above is something I did on the theme of webs for the Yahoo SoulJournal group. (You can join if you want, I'll bet. I'll give out the contact in the next post.) The original idea was "Web of Love," I believe. But mine came out "Web of Good Intentions."
I will try not to let all these "sticky" things get between me and writing during the month of November.
So I will say goodbye to October 2008 forever and to you ... only for the night - femminismo
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Well, I Said My Heart Was On My Sleeve.
Yes. I stepped out there and showed you how I voted. Some will agree with it and some will not.
"But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve
For daws to peck at." - Othello
I hope everyone is ready for the small doorbell ringers tomorrow. My brother will be coming over to hand out Halloween candy for me. He likes to answer the door and give the kids candy, and maybe I will be able to paint a few pages in my altered book journals while he is helping.
Another thing I am doing is getting ready for Nanowrimo which begins on Saturday, Nov. 1. It doesn't seem possible, but it is here again ... already. Fifty thousand words before the end of November.
I am in the process of making a "story board" of characters and names. That is permitted, according to the rules of Nanowrimo. I may even make a family tree, but I will have to be quick since I've put it off too long already.
I had best get to bed and then rise early to prepare some great character names, like Marcus Philby or Lulu Poindexter or Francine Riley or Wilton Whitacker. Hear anything you like? - femminisimo
"But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve
For daws to peck at." - Othello
I hope everyone is ready for the small doorbell ringers tomorrow. My brother will be coming over to hand out Halloween candy for me. He likes to answer the door and give the kids candy, and maybe I will be able to paint a few pages in my altered book journals while he is helping.
Another thing I am doing is getting ready for Nanowrimo which begins on Saturday, Nov. 1. It doesn't seem possible, but it is here again ... already. Fifty thousand words before the end of November.
I am in the process of making a "story board" of characters and names. That is permitted, according to the rules of Nanowrimo. I may even make a family tree, but I will have to be quick since I've put it off too long already.
I had best get to bed and then rise early to prepare some great character names, like Marcus Philby or Lulu Poindexter or Francine Riley or Wilton Whitacker. Hear anything you like? - femminisimo
Monday, July 21, 2008
Off On A New Tangent - Look Out!
SEE that little widget over there on the left? The one that says StoryToolz?
It is a Web site that supposedly improves your writing, making you Ernest Hemingway overnight.
Well, realistically, it actually doesn't make that claim. However you can "deposit" what you've typed into your blog and find out the intellectual level your readers should possess before they attempt to read your pithy submissions.
I took the last blog entry and fed it into the StoryToolz "checker" and found out that the education level my readers would need is FIFTH GRADE! I hope everyone is up to that. If you've been having any trouble, please let me know.
I'm a little disheartened, which is why you will find larger words in this entry. I'm chastising myself for not challenging my readers a little more. If only I had perceived there might be problems ahead.
StoryToolz also "graded" me on how many paragraphs were in my entry. Since Blogger doesn't allow paragraph indents, I had one long paragraph with lots of words. The StoryToolz automatic grader must think I'm an idiot. Perhaps I am, but I intend to use the tools on this Web site to improve my writing. I haven't been doing much of it lately, except for the blog entries, and that really should change.
But, I digress. (Now that word should be worth something!) One of the tools I really like is the plot generator. The Web site will give you three elements to a story and you take it from there. During Nanowrimo I can not think of a tool that would be more beneficial. (Another word score with that one.)
Tell you what: Since it's 9 p.m. on the desktop clock, I'm going to sign off for now. I can't wait to enter the contents of this blog and see what I score - or actually, what you score. (I'm gone now for a second.)
Instantly done! We're up to sixth-grade level. I can feel your excitement. On one of the readability scores, we were approaching eighth-grade level! Overall, however, we were only up to sixth.
I guess I'll read the dictionary tonight before bed - femminismo
P.S. Incidentally, if you sign up for StoryToolz, mention my name, OK?
It is a Web site that supposedly improves your writing, making you Ernest Hemingway overnight.
Well, realistically, it actually doesn't make that claim. However you can "deposit" what you've typed into your blog and find out the intellectual level your readers should possess before they attempt to read your pithy submissions.
I took the last blog entry and fed it into the StoryToolz "checker" and found out that the education level my readers would need is FIFTH GRADE! I hope everyone is up to that. If you've been having any trouble, please let me know.
I'm a little disheartened, which is why you will find larger words in this entry. I'm chastising myself for not challenging my readers a little more. If only I had perceived there might be problems ahead.
StoryToolz also "graded" me on how many paragraphs were in my entry. Since Blogger doesn't allow paragraph indents, I had one long paragraph with lots of words. The StoryToolz automatic grader must think I'm an idiot. Perhaps I am, but I intend to use the tools on this Web site to improve my writing. I haven't been doing much of it lately, except for the blog entries, and that really should change.
But, I digress. (Now that word should be worth something!) One of the tools I really like is the plot generator. The Web site will give you three elements to a story and you take it from there. During Nanowrimo I can not think of a tool that would be more beneficial. (Another word score with that one.)
Tell you what: Since it's 9 p.m. on the desktop clock, I'm going to sign off for now. I can't wait to enter the contents of this blog and see what I score - or actually, what you score. (I'm gone now for a second.)
Instantly done! We're up to sixth-grade level. I can feel your excitement. On one of the readability scores, we were approaching eighth-grade level! Overall, however, we were only up to sixth.
I guess I'll read the dictionary tonight before bed - femminismo
P.S. Incidentally, if you sign up for StoryToolz, mention my name, OK?
Friday, November 30, 2007
Nanowrimo winner tonight!
Yes, it's true. I produced 50,000 actual words that make up a story/novel beginning - with flashbacks, two alternate story lines and two fascinating women characters in the lead "roles."
My gosh, I'm proud of myself, aren't I?
I did it with the help of a wonderful man, who cooks, cleans and shops. Now we know one of the secrets behind successful Nanowrimo winners.
Next year? Sure, why not?
My gosh, I'm proud of myself, aren't I?
I did it with the help of a wonderful man, who cooks, cleans and shops. Now we know one of the secrets behind successful Nanowrimo winners.
Next year? Sure, why not?
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