Mmmmmmetal: Breakfast Skeletonwitch

Eating the Fire

Metal-themed food is a pretty big fad these days. The problem is, most of it's really elaborate and time-consuming to make. But here's something you can thrash out during your morning routine and eat on the go, the perfect breakfast sandwich.

Breakfast Skeletonwitch

Here's what you'll need:

- an everything bagel

- a container of plain spreadable cream cheese (8 oz)
- 2 strips bacon (pre-cooked is easiest)
- 1 teaspoon chipotle powder
- 1 teaspoon dried minced garlic (the kind you get in a shaker bottle by the other seasonings)

Be advised that I don't actually measure anything when I cook, as a rule. The measurements are just estimated.

You'll have to prepare the cream cheese the night before, to allow the flavors to permeate. To do it, take a large amount of the cream cheese out of the container using a spoon or butter knife. Add the chipotle and the garlic, and put the cream cheese back into the container. Mix thoroughly. (The reason you take some out is to ensure it's mixed well.) Refrigerate, at least overnight. The smokiness of the chipotle is the perfect complement to the garlic, and the dried garlic works best for this kind of application.

When you're ready, toast the bagel and heat the bacon. Spread the chipotle/garlic cream cheese on both halves of the bagel. Cut/rip the bacon strips in half to make four pieces, and put them in the middle of the bagel. Eat. Be metal.

Full Metal Chocolate Chili Ice Cream

I bought an ice cream maker a couple months ago, and since then I've been looking for new and interesting ice cream recipes. I ran across several recipes for chocolate chili ice cream, which sounded kind of strange but promising. I devised my own simple recipe based on proportions I found in other recipes, mixed it up and froze it right before I came here to write this--and it's delicious.

Ingredients

- 2 cups heavy cream
- 2 cups whole milk
- 3/4 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (baking cocoa)
- 2 teaspoons cinnamon
- 2 tablespoons chili powder

Instructions

Very simple: put all the ingredients in the ice cream mixer, whisk them together thoroughly and freeze according manufacturer's directions.

Yield: About 1 Quart

I know it sounds like a lot of chili powder, but trust me on this one.

Full Metal Chili

I promised it before, so here it is: the recipe for Full Metal Chili.
Here are the ingredients you'll need:

- 1 pound hamburger (or up to 1 and a half pounds)
- 1 can (46 oz) tomato juice
- 1 can (16 oz) kidney beans
- 1 can (16 oz) pinto beans
- 1 medium onion
- 1/2 cup brown sugar
- 1 tablespoon (3 teaspoons) chili powder (without this, it's not chili)
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon black pepper
- 2-3 teaspoons any combination of Tabasco or Louisiana hot sauce

Optional:
- chopped scallions

Brown the hamburger and drain the fat. Chop the onion, not too fine, but not too chunky. In a crock pot or kettle (crock pot recommended) mix all the ingredients together. I like to use three teaspoons of hot sauce, but that's too spicy for most people, so one teaspoon each of Tabasco and Louisiana hot sauce (cayenne pepper sauce) is probably best.

If cooking in a crock pot, which is recommended, run it on hot for an hour, stirring every ten minutes or so. At this point it's ready, but ideally, you should run it on low for at least an additional three hours, stirring whenever you feel like it.

If cooking in a kettle, bring it to a boil, stirring regularly, and then put it on low for another three hours or so.

That's all there is to it! It's a pretty spicy recipe, and very soupy. If you like it thick, this is not the recipe for you. If you don't like it spicy, then this is not the recipe for you. But if you like good, soupy, spicy chili, this is a great recipe. It's good if served by itself, or with crackers, cheese, or cinnamon rolls.

By the way, I have a pretty nifty desktop background for your computer in time for Halloween, available in 1024x768 or 1280x1024.