It's true. I worked with moderate effort to get my boys to say Mama, but both said "ball" clear as day way before they ever uttered the name of the woman who carried them for 40 weeks and then had them cut out of her body. But I'm not bitter. I'm awesome like that. Totally graceful, totally not self centered. A real mom. I just want them to be happy, healthy and great contributors to society.
And I also want them to remember that I am the most important person in their life. Is that so much to ask?
So with Adie, I realized that I needed to step up the effort. And I bumped it up several notches. But she has been speechless for 17 frickin months. Much to my dismay, she has created an entire language of grunting and squeals that every person understands. Do you know how many times you have to say MAMA in 17 months when you feel like her first word could come any day?
By the way, she has been saying "Hiiiiiii" upon greeting people for about 2 months, but I refuse to acknowledge that. Clearly it was a fluke. That would be a stupid first word, so it's not a contender.
And Chris? He pretends he doesn't care at all. He never says his name, and relies on me to introduce Dada to the mix. Big mistake, Mister. Because secretly? When you are gone? I call you "That One Guy" and "The Biological Contributor To Your Genetics". Gotcha. I did say I was on a mission, didn't I?
So my dream came true. She has been saying mamammama for awhile, but finally a few weeks ago, I heard her yell "Mama! Mama!" when she wanted out of her crib. And it has become consistent and I have lept for joy every time. She probably thinks that "Mama" is the word to say when you want the tall lady to stop everything, scream and clap her hands furiously with a big smile on her face.
And suddenly Chris is not feelin it. His mouth dropped and he feigned pessimism. "I didn't hear mama at all" and then "she thinks everything is called mama" and then "I can't friggin believe that she can say mama and NOT DADA".
So he's gone into overdrive and I've caught him enrolling Adie into DADA boot camp. Too bad she's so stubborn that she just stares at him. I bet she is thinking "Why is Biological Contributor To My Genetics saying "dada" all the time?"
We also happen to play a lovely game in the Garland house where "No Nose" has to change poopy diapers. Who ever touches their nose last after someone yells "No Nose changes diaper!" has to chase her down, pin her down, and engage in 5 minutes of a poopy wrestling match with a 17 month old who squeals like a pig.
This morning, I promptly yelled "no nose!" and laid my head on my pillow, victorious.
"No way!" I heard. "She can make her own choices now. Adie? Do you want MAMA or dada to change your diaper?" Chris said, ever so smugly.
I thought I had been duped. So screwed.
"DA." She yelled.
Both of our mouths dropped.
"Did she just say Da?" Chris asked, clearly flabbergasted.
"Yep." I said, totally delighted in my daughter.
"This is a conspiracy. A Garland Woman Conspiracy." He said, totally defeated twice over as he stood up to do the duty.
That's my girl. Nice try, That One Guy. Nice try.
