I have officially been back to a paying job for two weeks now. It has been a very difficult transition for me, one that I wish I didn't have to make, but unfortunately I do. Most the feelings I have around this event can be summed up in one word: GUILT.
I feel guilty about leaving my son, about the fact that he eats more breast milk than I can pump at work and eventually I will have to supplement his diet with formula.
I find myself holding BW so tight in the mornings and not wanting to put him down. Then my heart races as I leave work trying to fight the traffic to get home to my little one as soon as possible. Once I get home I don't want to put my baby down and then I feel guilty for not getting anything done around the house or taking care of myself physically. I feel guilty when I hear what my little man did during that day and I wasn't there to witness it.
HOW DO MOTHERS OUT THERE DO IT?
I know so many mothers whose husbands are in school and they stay home, how do you do it?
For those mothers out there working out of the home, how do you come to grips with leaving your young baby? Do these feelings of guilt ever stop? Does it ever get easier?
I love being a mother more than anything! It has been the most amazing experience of my life; I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful baby and supportive and amazing husband. I do feel lucky to have such a wonderful daycare situation worked out, where my good friend Eunice watches BW at my house 2 days a week, his daddy watches him 2 days a week and I get to work from home 1 day a week. I feel so blessed to have a workplace that is so supportive of me being a mother. I also feel lucky to have a job at this time when so many people are out there searching for work. I am grateful that I have skills to work, to support my family while my husband prepares to support us doing what he loves to do.
I don't want this post to be a "Debbie Downer" I just wanted to let ya'll know that this stage in life is hard for me. Even though it is hard, it is also wonderful and the most important thing is to count my many many blessings.
I feel guilty about leaving my son, about the fact that he eats more breast milk than I can pump at work and eventually I will have to supplement his diet with formula.
I find myself holding BW so tight in the mornings and not wanting to put him down. Then my heart races as I leave work trying to fight the traffic to get home to my little one as soon as possible. Once I get home I don't want to put my baby down and then I feel guilty for not getting anything done around the house or taking care of myself physically. I feel guilty when I hear what my little man did during that day and I wasn't there to witness it.
HOW DO MOTHERS OUT THERE DO IT?
I know so many mothers whose husbands are in school and they stay home, how do you do it?
For those mothers out there working out of the home, how do you come to grips with leaving your young baby? Do these feelings of guilt ever stop? Does it ever get easier?
I love being a mother more than anything! It has been the most amazing experience of my life; I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful baby and supportive and amazing husband. I do feel lucky to have such a wonderful daycare situation worked out, where my good friend Eunice watches BW at my house 2 days a week, his daddy watches him 2 days a week and I get to work from home 1 day a week. I feel so blessed to have a workplace that is so supportive of me being a mother. I also feel lucky to have a job at this time when so many people are out there searching for work. I am grateful that I have skills to work, to support my family while my husband prepares to support us doing what he loves to do.
I don't want this post to be a "Debbie Downer" I just wanted to let ya'll know that this stage in life is hard for me. Even though it is hard, it is also wonderful and the most important thing is to count my many many blessings.
My favorite thing to do with my little boys is to take a Sunday nap. Berke sleeps best when he is laying on his mommy, his naps go from 40 minutes to 2 hours. Like mother, like son, we love our Sunday naps.
Berkeley is getting so big, can you believe he is 3 months already? He gets so big and changes so much each day. It is fun to watch him discover his hands, smile and coo more and dress him up in all of his fun outfits.
My little hipster
Newsie, "get your papes!"Can you see why it is so hard to leave this guy?
Any advice on how to cope is welcome!
6 comments:
Hey!
I have a couple of jobs now, and even though they don't take up all of my time I still feel like a working mom. It is HORRIBLE to leave when Isobel is screaming "MOOOOMMYYYYY" at the door, and I definitely can relate to your feelings.
But at the same time, I think I'm a better Mom now that I'm working. When it was just me and Isobel home all day doing nothing, I was less patient. Now that I have to be away from her sometimes I value our time together SO much more, and I don't get bored. So I guess, if you're like me, I'm saying that you should appreciate the strong motherly feelings you have now- I didn't feel them as strongly when I was home all day.
And DON'T beat yourself up about supplementing with formula. Of course, breast is best and all that, but formula is still GOOD FOOD for Berkeley. He's so lucky to have been exclusively breastfed for this long, and the longer you can keep giving him some breast milk, the better. You are doing GREAT! :)
I have been working about ten hours a week for about a year now. I know that is different from working full time, but I can totally relate to how you feel. I felt tons of guilt for a long time and still think about quitting all the time! It does get better with time, though, and I agree with the previous commenter about how you appreciate him so much more because you know what you're missing. I know that you are an amazing mom, and that is really what makes the biggest difference. I always just tell myself it won't be like this forever (although at this rate it will take me ten years to get licensed). I think babies learn good social skills and become more attached to their dads more quickly than they would otherwise, too. Good luck. It is definitely hard.
I have worked full time since Brenna was 3 months old and I felt the same thing - lots and lots of guilt. In fact, I still feel it a lot of the time. BUT, I know that when I am with her, I am making the most of my time with her and truly enjoying everything. There are many benefits to sending her to daycare and I think that I'm an even better mom for some of them. There were things that I would've struggled with (or waited way too long for) that have been pushed along - in a natural way - because she was in daycare (i.e. bottle weaning, potty training). You should feel great reward for doing what you are doing, even though I know it is hard. I feel like I am setting an example for my daughter that she can be/do anything she wants to AND be a mom. You can be proud of doing what is necessary for you and your family, knowing that you are still a WONDERFUL mother to your little punkin. And as for the chores around the house not really getting done since you are spending all your time with the baby - I'm sure he doesn't mind that one bit :)
You know, there's not a single mom out there who doesn't feel guilt about SOMETHING with their kids. Even if you stayed at home, you'd probably feel guilty about not providing an income OR because you're not doing super great things every day with Berkley. The big thing is figuring out what YOUR family needs because there will be sacrifice no matter what decision you make. If you stay at home, you will have to sacrifice a lot of material things to save on money (hair cuts, make-up, clothes, even certain kinds of food if they are too expensive, as well as time for yourself and building your career). If you choose to work, you do sacrifice your time with your son, but as others have said, you also tend to value your time with him more than if you stayed at home all the time. You and Christian will know what's best for the family and once you make that decision, you'll be better able to cope with the guilt and the sacrifice that comes with it.
It just sucks pretty much all around really. I worked full time until we had hoot then decided it was finally time to stay home. Now, we have DEBT, DEBT, DEBT. I know it stinks but keep the faith that sooner than later C will have a job and you will be able to be at home and then...you'll wish that you could work. Hang in there and dont let those feelings get you down. You are doing something great for your family. Keep at it Sistah!
Hang in there! You are doing a great job with your little family. It's tough no matter what your situation and I think all moms deal with guilt.
Newsies... Maybe you can just pack up and move to "Santa Fe" :).
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