Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Sunday, September 13, 2020

A Nephew and His Quilt

 My nephew recently let me know that the quilt I gave him in 2007 has been well used and well loved -- so much so that it is now holey and threadbare. His girlfriend thinks it should be replaced. So.. of course, I felt inspired to send him a new one. This one was made about 4 years ago but has barely been used, so it's like new and is new to him.

He lives in California, with temps above 100 and smoky air surrounding him. Not really quilt weather! I was just happy to know it arrived safely. Now I know he has a blankie that is not threadbare. This was so much fun that I think I will send another one to another relative who has let me know how much he/she loves the original one I gifted long ago. My plan was to give every relative ONE quilt made by me. However, when Quilt Love is expressed, then I really don't mind gifting a second one. (In fact, I love it.)




Thursday, July 23, 2020

Why I Don't Drink

I started listening to a new (to me) podcast: Inappropriate Questions. It is produced by CBC (Canada). So far I am enjoying it. Some of the questions they have discussed include "Have you had the surgery yet?" (transgender issues), "Are you able to have sex?" (disability issues), and the most recent that I listened to, "Why don't you drink?".

This question about drinking is a little less obviously inappropriate. It depends a lot on context, who asks and how they ask, and the non-drinker him or herself and what they feel comfortable with. Several people were interviewed and had a few different takes on how it can feel to be asked that question. It prompted me to think about myself, and how I feel about that question.

I say I don't drink, but technically, if even a drop counts, I do drink very rarely and infrequently. For example, I will sometimes have a Mike's Hard Lemonade (have had two or three in my life, I believe), or an occasional Mimosa (again, maybe 2 or 3 times in my life). And when I happen to imbibe, it is usually because I am getting it free.

I grew up in a Methodist household. My dad was a Methodist minister, and Methodism was and is strong in my family heritage. Methodism, in its history, took a strong stance against drinking alcohol. Officially it is still in favor of abstinence, although it is less strict now and encourages people who choose to drink to do so responsibly. My childhood household was wholly in favor of abstinence, and that is how I grew up. The act of drinking was seen in judgmental light. So, that was the attitude around which I grew up.

The first time I ever tried any alcohol was (guess when) during college. I had a drink once at an event; I think I was 19. Then I didn't drink anything again until my 21st birthday. I went to a bar and got the bar tender to give me a free drink.

After that I continued to drink very rarely. A couple of times as an adult (in my 30s), on two different occasions, I drank maybe two drinks, enough to get light-headed and silly. But I never liked that feeling and later was embarrassed at my silly behavior.

The final straw took place when I traveled with my husband. We were at an event. They had a table at which people were encouraged to sign a sober pledge - pledging not to drink at all from that point on, for the rest of one's life. As a person who drank so rarely I could almost call it never, I glibly signed the pledge, and went merrily on about my business. That evening we attended a dinner which was paid for by the company with which my husband was affiliated. Since it was free, I decided to order a drink. I took a couple of sips, and then suddenly remembered the pledge I had signed earlier that day. How glibly I had signed it, when others who struggle were being encouraged to sign the pledge, and maybe had to do some real soul searching before they could take that big step. I felt guilty that I had made a pledge and then had immediately broken it. For people who really had the problem, signing the pledge that day would have and should have held some great importance in their lives.. a turning point, one hopes.

After that I promised myself that I would never drink again, and in so doing I was honoring the pledge I had signed and attempting to be in solidarity with those who signed it with a lot more difficulty than I had. I did abstain from any alcohol for a long time after that.. many years. But in the last five years or so is when I have occasionally had a Mike's Hard Lemonade or a Mimosa. And to be honest, even those drinks were probably taken due to peer pressure (even at my age).

I'm still a Methodist (now called United Methodist), and I am proud of the Methodist tradition of encouraging abstinence. We still will never have a Methodist event at which alcohol will be served. We take that stance seriously, though as I stated above, it is more open to individual decisions these days. I admit I like the fact that I don't ever have to question whether I'll be in the presence of alcohol consumption at a Methodist event. I am not comfortable in drinking situations, and would hate to have to juggle my way through a church event with drinking being part of it. I'm happier without it being an issue at church.

As for being asked, "why don't you drink?" , I do feel a little uncomfortable with that question. The reason is because of the judgmental attitude in which I grew up. Drinking was just seen as wrong and bad. I enjoy a 99% alcohol-free life. I'm happy that I don't drink (for the most part). But when being completely honest with myself, I have to admit that I still do feel some of those judgmental feelings that I was taught. I try hard to separate the drinking from the person, so that I'm not being judgmental about the person but only about the habit. But it is hard. When trying to explain why I don't drink, I find myself sounding judgey, and I don't like that. I don't want to be that. So in my case, it is an uncomfortable question, though I wouldn't go so far as calling it inappropriate.

There. Just thought I'd share. It was on my mind, so I wrote.

Happy middle of summer! Hope you are enjoying some beautiful days. Read any good books lately?




Saturday, June 27, 2020

A Whole Month Later -- Catching Up

It has been a MONTH since I posted?? I guess I didn't feel I had anything newsworthy, which never stopped me in the past, as my readers well know. These are such strange times... continuing quarantine at home, plus all the unrest which started here in Minnesota after the death of George Floyd. I didn't know how to address it all. (Also, my depression reared its ugly head for a while, so I wasn't enthused about writing.) I'm all in favor of radical change. It's about time we finally address our racist habits here in the USA. I think having the conversations is a great start. So many of us white people, definitely including me, have had easy and oblivious lives, unaware of how truly difficult it has been all along for people of color. I thought I was "woke" but I see I was not. So.. I'm trying to read and learn all I can. This will be an ongoing goal of mine.

Meanwhile, my sister got married!! She was divorced many years ago (which is sad no matter what, and each situation contains its own unique story of sadness). And then a year ago she attended a 50th school reunion in the town where we used to live as kids; we moved away from there when I was 12 and she was 13. She has always been good at keeping in touch with people from the past. Me, not so much. I would never have attended that reunion. Anyway, while there she re-connected with a family friend/classmate. His family had attended our church where our dad was the pastor. And we used to go out to their farm fairly often to have dinner and play around. You know, for a town kid to go visit a farm, it's always memorable and there's so much to do. We have good memories of that family.

So when my sister re-connected with R., we thought it was quite cool. And he is a very nice man. His wife of many years died of cancer 3-4 years ago. Sis and R. were both in the right position to be open to a new relationship. And this one went fast. They felt close immediately and a year later - Boom! - they got married. They figured at age 69, why waste any time? And R's mother is still alive; she is now 97, understandably getting frail. So they wanted to hurry on her behalf as well.

The wedding was small - a crowd of 10 - and we practiced social distancing. It felt quite odd to not be able to hug and be close at a wedding. I did sneak in one quick hug with my sister, but kept my distance from my new brother-in-law. It was a fun, happy day. I must say that I have not seen my sister this happy in a LONG time. I am thankful that she and R. found each other.

They got married at the chapel on the campus of the senior residence where R's mother lives. My son was videographer. Here he is shown interviewing R's mother. He intended to get taped comments from all ten people, but ended up getting only that one. And the final pic is Sis and R opening the gift we gave them.. it's something they have to choose, so it's just a written description.


I am happy to report that my depression went back into hiding. I'm feeling quite good again and am interested in my fun hobbies again. I have been mostly sewing, because oddly, I have not been able to concentrate on reading! During this time when I could be reading up a storm! What's up with that? I figure it'll come back to me eventually. I hope you, my lovely readers, are healthy and happy. Keep safe, everyone!

Saturday, March 21, 2020

How Are You Coping?

During this corona virus pandemic, in an effort to slow the spread of the virus, most of Minnesota has shut down: schools, churches, bars and restaurants, hair and nail salons, malls, many businesses have cut hours, and people are encouraged to self-quarantine if possible. Husband and I are doing that. We are trying to understand enough of the virus to be wise and careful, but not too much to let ourselves get crazy-scared about it. We are trying to trust that preventative measures will pay off.

We are in the vulnerable population of "over age 65," plus Husband is diabetic. So we want to be careful. This morning Husband went to the grocery store during the first hour of opening business which is set aside for elders like us. At that time of day, everything has been freshly cleaned and stocked, and the only people there will be in that same age group. Hopefully it's safer than just shopping among the general population. We have been getting groceries delivered, but that actually is getting harder as items are not in stock. It's harder to guarantee we will get the items we want. Yesterday (Friday) I went online to place our delivery order, and the first available delivery time was Sunday night! We could have made that work but just chose not to. Many of our usual items were not even available, but he found them in person early this morning. (Everything except bread and toilet paper. We're good so far.)

Other than that, we are not feeling too much stress during this "lock-down" time. I am fully retired and Husband is semi-retired, so staying home all day is typical for us. The only things we have cut out are the social and group gatherings we would usually be participating in. To be honest, having some of them on hold for a while is a relief! Even retirement life gets to be too busy sometimes. Husband has been doing his usual two days a week of work remotely (from home). Spring is slowly approaching, so weather has been nice enough to get outside for walks, which helps keep us sane.

So far our two adult children are doing OK. Son's job site has closed, but he is still getting paid. Daughter's job is still up and running. I'm crossing my fingers for her; she doesn't get paid if she doesn't work.

How are you doing, dear reader? I know for some people being cooped up at home is not fun. I hope you are finding ways to keep yourself happy.

For me, life these days has been quite fun. It is relaxing to have no obligatory events, and we can stay home and enjoy ourselves. As introverts, this suits us well. I have been doing my usual: sewing and reading. Here are some of the things I have been working on lately:



I also decided to work through a block book that I have, from A-Z. These are the blocks I have made so far. I'm a little bit into the B's.

Oh.. my sisters and I are feeling lucky to have completed a fun and healthy trip to Panama last month. Just this week Panama suspended all international flights, and they now have several confirmed cases of Covid-19 there. Prayers for them and for the world!

May we all enjoy good health and learn to appreciate our quieter world for now.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Panama Memories

I am so grateful for my trip to Panama. Here are some fun memories:

riding a boat through the canal (we were close enough to the canal wall that I could touch it)

hanging out with my sisters:

beautiful scenery

swimming in the Chagres River and in the Caribbean Sea:

Happy memories forever.

Tuesday, March 03, 2020

Another Adventure in Panama

One day we decided to go to Fort San Lorenzo. It is a place we remembered visiting when we were kids (my older sister) or remembered seeing in pictures (me). It's the site of an old fort that was built in the 1500s to protect the area from pirates and marauders. The info on the signage there says that ironically, this fort was attacked often. The ruins that are still there now are from the 1700s. They are crumbling and needing to be held up with supports. Apparently Panama is looking for someone who can help restore/maintain the ruins so that they don't completely collapse. Anyone know some experts?

I have scanned some of our parents' old slides. This picture is in about 1951, the family visiting Fort San Lorenzo. Even the signs have changed, as it was owned, at the time, by America but is now Panamanian.

us at the current sign in 2020

In 1950s, the ground was messy and bumpy.

Now it's much more grass-like and appears easier to walk on.

my brother, his friend, and my two sisters in 1950s

me, 2020

Our parents took this from the fort.. it shows where the Chagres River meets the Atlantic Ocean.

Here we are in the same spot, 67+ years later. It was awesome and emotional being in these old spots that our parents lived and moved. They would be so pleased to know that we got to go back and learn about our first home. The next pictures are from our recent visit.


The visitors' center there is new, and one must now pay to get in. I feel sorry for the people who work there, because the road into the fort is long, VERY bumpy, full of potholes.. our driver had to dodge and swerve around all the big holes.. quite a physical feat just driving us in and out of there. Can you imagine commuting on that road every day?

More about Panama in my next post or two.