I've been doing some thinking about whether writing publicly (as in a blog or on social media) is empowering or stifling. This is a question I remember being extensively discussed on blogs 20+ years ago. I could argue "empowering" because I have managed to keep this e-journal for over 22 years -- something I was never able to do in the days of handwritten or typed "private" journals (scare quotes because sometimes it was an assignment, read by a teacher or professor). I could also argue "stifling," because I absolutely self-censor, even though I have never tried to promote this blog and so the audience is small.

On social media, Bob has decided to be brave and make some political posts about Kennedy. I think it is admirable, even though I cannot do much more than click "like." I have PTSD from my days on the village board. People were so rude. To maintain peace, I can't engage in a lot of discourse. His shares have resulted in the blue-no-matter-who crowd commenting, in what I perceive as an effort to get him to delete posts and shut up.

An outrage on the news is the daily coverage of Belmont -- the race is being held at Saratoga this year, due to construction. It was bad enough that Saratoga has added race days in recent years. Now we have to hear the constant media gushing even earlier this summer over what amounts to animal abuse, due to Belmont.

We saw the last of the ten movies that were nominated for best picture: the Killing of the Flower Moon. It was good, although a difficult story. I can now say with assurance that "Poor Things" was the worst of the ten -- in fact it was much worse than that, and no way should best actress or anything else have gone to it. It was nothing more than a creepy celebration of abuse, and that simple fact renders good performances or make up or whatever meaningless.

 We got our first snow overnight. It is just a coating. Aside from Elwyn-inspired weather-related news, two other thing to report: First, Uncle Buddy's beloved hound Sally died yesterday. I have many thoughts and emotions swirling around on that subject that I will not share. Second, today would have been Donna's 62nd birthday. I rarely share this sort of information on Facebook and never will about Donna because I don't want a bunch of people clicking crying or caring likies or making comments of the "she's always with you" or "hugs" variety. I don't care much for that kind of thing even regarding someone whose loss has left me heartbroken forever such as my father. I certainly don't want to read it about Donna. I cannot, or perhaps will not, share any sort of truth about her with Facebook friends from high school who recall her as a 15-year-old kid with rosy cheeks. It would just make me seem mean-spirited and I don't need the drama.

So after four years of drama, I was officially promoted to Lecturer II. Drama because it took years to get going, partially but not entirely due to the pandemic, and a year and a half to assemble the dossier and move through the various levels of voting, approvals and signatures. Today at the faculty meeting, it was stated that I am part of the initial batch (I thought I was part of the third or fourth) and my dossier and the department's process is setting the bar for the future. Assuming that's true (?), it is quite flattering.

Several nights ago, I had a dream with my grandmother in it. It was just an image of her, very clear, but she didn't speak. It was not like the dream I had in 1993 after she died. Although I think of her often (almost daily), I have rarely dreamed about her since that vivid visit nearly 30 years ago. It was good to see her.

On January 30 a high school friend died. She lived in Texas, and we were connected on Facebook for 10 years or so. She was a real friend in high school, not one of the popular, affluent, snobby clique members (many of whom are also now Facebook friends). She was tall, skinny and kind of awkward in high school, and from a huge family who seem to have health challenges, in that her parents died long ago and some of her siblings have already died. Anyway, she was always nice and funny. RIP Kris.

Today in Facebook there was an ad for pet-friendly washable rugs. I was startled, because Bob and I have been talking about getting one for my office. The one that's currently on the floor must be over 25 years old. The addition of the two Beagle girls to our household is driving the decision, not the age of the existing rug -- I don't care much about household furnishings or shopping. 

So I went to the link, browsed, read up on the product, and ordered a 4X6. We have an echo dot in the living room and recently got one for the kitchen, and I'm sure that's why the ad was in my feed, because I have never googled or otherwise searched for a rug. I'm not complaining, I love smart technology even though I know lots of people are upset about privacy issues. Not me. It enabled my father to turn on and off lights and music when he couldn't walk. The Echo provided him with much amusement and company at a challenging time.

My mother turned 90 last Thursday, and we had a cake party at her house on Saturday. Twenty-three people came. It's the first time we have had that many at her house in a very long time, long before my father being gone or the pandemic. It was nice and I'm glad we did it. I was surprised that I was not more preoccupied by my father's absence. (If I put that on Facebook, someone would surely comment "he's always with you" or a similar annoying platitude. Yes, I know. I really do. But responding that way, no matter how well-meaning, feels like a push back - it denies my right to mourn, to feel sorrow.) But today it is on my mind. Earlier, I was overwhelmed by it. I'm remembering numerous other family gatherings. If he was living, we more than likely would have held it elsewhere. The reason -- he would have objected to her wearing herself out cleaning (which she did, for two days.) Still he would have enjoyed it, and I suspect it would have included much food besides cake.

This was posted on a community page in Facebook because she lived in Olivebridge. I'm going to make an assumption she was a weekend resident, or perhaps she became year-round once the pandemic hit and remote work became common. I didn't know her, and I say RIP, but I did see the movie, which I absolutely despised. I love Meryl Streep, and her part was slightly more palatable, but I wouldn't call it her finest role. Otherwise, the story was dreadful, the main character was annoying and not a bit likeable, and I remember wishing I'd stopped watching after ten minutes rather than suffering through it. After I read the linked story, it reminded me of something I hated about the film: the usual fawning glorification of privileged people and their self-indulgent problems by Hollywood and publications such as the NYT and New Yorker, while simultaneously phony hand-wringing over social justice, equity, poverty, etc. Makes me want to puke.

I read a story this morning from NPR about the creepy FL governor flying migrants from San Antonio to Martha's vineyard. It seems odd to use FL taxpayer's funds for this effort -- but his idiot supporters apparently don't care if he wastes their money on his self-promotion (at least according to my FB feed -- ugh more un-following). That's the reason for it, of course -- he was alarmed by the attention the TX a-hole was getting. I call him an a-hole, but at least his actions are understandable - calling attention to an issue his state actually has to routinely address. The FL idiot is doing it only to be nasty and siphon off some of the TX media attention. MA has a GOP governor. Maybe he's too stupid to know that. Well, I say, send 'em North. Too bad Kevin Spacey crashed and burned as a pedophile during #metoo -- he could have played the FL reptile just perfectly.

I submitted this through "Give Feedback" on Facebook, as requested by the page owner on video. Will it help? IDK. When I reported a violation (animal abuser's fund drive), it worked.

I write regarding Steve Caporizzo Pet Connection. Recently his page has been in Facebook jail. I assume a vindictive, jealous person filed a baseless complaint, but I know some people believe an automatic bot is responsible. Regardless, this is unjust. Steve is a local TV weatherman in Albany, NY. He has been active in the animal rights arena for decades. In 1995, long before social media, I adopted a heaven-sent puppy from the Mohawk Hudson Humane Society who was on Steve's pet connection television segment on the news. A year ago, I adopted an eleven year old cat who was on Steve's Facebook site who needed to be re-homed. He is a wonderful cat and without Steve I would not have him and who knows what would have happened to him. Steve is an outstanding advocate for animals and his page does not promote selling animals. He is saving scores of pets by helping to make forever matches -- good new homes. Please don't put him in Facebook jail again. In my experience, some people on the internet can be nasty toward honorable people for no reason, maybe they think it is funny to make trouble, or occasionally animal abusers lash out at people with a big platform like Steve's to silence kind and influential voices. Thank you.

 First classes yesterday were pretty good, except during my afternoon class (on Zoom), my cell phone rang (which I keep nearby to watch the time) and I turned it off. I noticed quickly that the number was 845 area code and I thought I'd call them back after class. Moments later, my house phone started ringing. A couple months ago, we had to upgrade to Verizon home phone, and now a computer voice says the number (and if it is spam, which is awesome). The voice said "845-657 (rest of number)." In my distracted state, I thought I heard a familiar number that I HAD to answer. 

 I apologized to the students, turned off the mic, answered the phone, and the caller wasn't who I expected. It was someone getting out the vote with a number very similar to a family member's. The caller must have phoned the Samsonville house, gotten my Castleton number and my cell phone number (which are on the message) -- and proceeded to call both! Problem is, I am not registered to vote in Olive, but what irritated me (besides the interruption) was that the person got huffy and argued with me about whose number it was (I have had the Samsonville number for over 20 years) and where I live! When I got back on Zoom, I was not focused. Thankfully class was almost over. 

I shared this on Facebook, and the response was all about robo-calls. I get too many of those too, and it is an outrage. But that wasn't what this was -- this was a persistent very rude real person with a number almost like my brother's. I didn't want to put that on Facebook because I think I know who the woman is and some of my HS friends would know as well.

Two nights ago I had two dreams. The first featured my in-laws. I didn't see my father-in-law, but knew he was there. My mother-in-law was a stronger presence, and she was laughing, which is appropriate, because she always did. They were sitting on a couch somewhere, watching television. Bob was going in and out of the room. The program they were watching was a documentary we'd watched the night before, "My name is Lopez."

The second dream took place outside, with a large field on one side, and on the other, down a small steep hill, an open space surrounded by evergreen trees. My father and some others were there, although I'm not completely sure who the others were; they could have been my brothers, but as with my FIL, it wasn't a strong impression. There was light, patchy snow on the ground, and my father was dressed for winter. The group was looking at a utility truck, something like a delivery truck such as the Kwik Kanteen. My father was talking, loudly, strong voice. He turned and walked up the little hill, and I thought, does he need help? Should I get a cane? But he didn't seem to need it.

 You'd have to be dead in the USA to not have heard of the recent mass shootings and Supreme Court decision re: Roe v. Wade. I am not a news junkie but the stories are endless. I'm pleased and hopeful about the bipartisan bill re: guns. Even if it is minimal and motivated by self-interest -- it is a good thing. The choice/life issue is the opposite. It so perfectly illustrates the division and closed mindedness of our culture right now that it makes me sick. When I taught toleration I would discuss with students the need for tolerance and how to achieve compromise. Respect is the first step. Language demonstrates this -- the poles on the issue label it anti and pro-abortion, when it should be pro-life and pro-choice, the terms that supporters of each side prefer. The media is a big part of the problem. I've had to un-follow a bunch of Facebook "friends" to spare myself the vitriol. Sharing memes is not advocacy.

On Facebook today, a friend shared a post "Written by the mom of [name deleted by me] one of the Uvalde victims." It didn't pass the sniff test because of this: "Was she practicing writing GIRAFFE the moment he walked in her classroom, barricaded the door and opened fire? She keeps forgetting the silent “e” at the end.  We studied this past weekend, and now she doesn’t need to take the spelling test on Friday." I remember it was reported that Thursday of the week of the Tuesday shooting would have been the last day of school. So either the lengthy copied and pasted post is mis-attributed and has nothing to do with Uvalde, or news reports were wrong, and Thursday was not the last day of school. 

I googled, and I was correct; the post was not written by the mom of one of the Uvalde victims. I did not bother to comment on my friend's post, because I perceive her to be a person who would be pissed at the correction. I suspect this Facebook "friend" is in the "fake but true" camp. She'd think the correction means I'm a gun nut, which I am not. She got 23 thank yous and how powerfuls and hearbreakings and someone should send this to congress comments. That was the intent of the original writer, to go viral, even if it meant taking advantage of victims of tragedy. This type of meme is known as "glurge."

It really irritates me that people don't discern fake posts and resist sharing when it is something seductive that agrees with their POV. That is why elected officials want to regulate social media, or at least it gives them justification to stifle dissent and the voice of the common person.

 Added: Snopes link 

This enamel tie pin was in a small metal box with other old trinkets in my father's closet. I made it for him when I was in 8th grade. He was selling cars at the time.He was always meticulous about his appearance (or you could say vain), and had more fashionable tie clips, but I remember he did occasionally wear it. He was proud of our last name and his initials. In fact, if you bought one of our family's houses, it's quite possible you had to sandblast the fireplace to remove the letter "G."

I copied the above from my Facebook post, but a school memory has been triggered. In 8th grade I was "accelerated" in math and art. I'm not sure why those two subjects, and I don't know who decided. I like both, and I was good at math, but English strikes me as my "subject," especially at that time. My math experience was horrible. The teacher was an abomination. Today, he would be arrested, convicted and jailed. He'd be forever disgraced. I had him for both 8th and 9th grades and was assigned to his class again in 10th, but I told my guidance counselor I'd drop math entirely unless I was transferred out of his class. She was mostly inept, but she'd refused my request the year before, and she knew I was serious so she put me in a class with a competent teacher.

Donna was "accelerated" in art. I think that year we took the same two classes, enamel jewelry making and pottery. I don't remember there being any other students in enameling. I think it wasn't the teacher's passion - that was his photography class. Still, with few students, we were able to make a lot of jewelry. 

In pottery, the teacher freaked out after a couple of weeks, and was replaced by a young woman who was rigid. There were a lot of students in the class, because the teacher who freaked out was beloved, and basically allowed students to do, or not do, whatever they wanted. The class was bedlam after the new teacher took over; kids continued to do whatever they wanted, but now there was a teacher looming over the room, yelling constantly. This triggered Donna to act out, by becoming a vandal to the room and the other kids' projects when no one was looking (except me).

 I had to un-follow a couple more people on Facebook. Not due to anything specifically political or COVID related, just because their MOA is constant sharing of whiny, complaining, kvetching, patronizing memes. One today was about not correcting people's spelling or grammar because it reinforces hierarchy. WTF. I don't correct people's spelling or grammar because I am nice and don't sweat the small stuff. However I do correct spelling, punctuation, grammar, word choice, faulty logic on student papers because that's my job, I teach and yes I am a better writer and also have more education.

 This week I am uneasy. Two of my "friends" (I always use scare quotes when I am referring to the Facebook variety) have COVID-19. One is from high school. We were not "best" friends, but my hometown is not a big place, and we attended the same elementary school that fed into a larger centralized high school, so I have known this woman since Kindergarten. She has been married for many years, and this summer took a vacation to Florida to celebrate the milestone. She shared many pictures of their trip, then yesterday, she resurfaced after a couple of weeks' silence to report that she has had COVID for over two weeks. When I saw her beach sunset pictures, I thought it was unwise to take a holiday in the coronavirus capital of the nation, but since I don't engage in that sort of dialogue, I un-followed her. I had not done that before, because although I am aware she has views that conflict with mine, she is not in the habit of writing controversial, argumentative, or political posts. But, the post about being very sick generated many comments from others, some of whom are also my "friends." There was a variety of perspectives, and no one got into a fight, but someone asked if she was vaccinated, and another asked how she got it. She said she is not vaccinated, and that she thought she got it from her husband, who got it from the plane ride home. Then she was asked if she wore a mask on the plane, and she said, yes, except when they ate and drank, and also the plane was packed. Someone responded, I guess masks don't work. The original "friend" has always been a lovely person inside and out, and she did not engage, but that commenter, my "friend," and two other mutual "friends," all of whom attended school with me, make up what I call the idiot quartet. They have become quite conservative (and have married extremely right-wing men), have always been physically gorgeous, are mostly nice (some more than others), and they are hard-line true believers in their POV (religious, political, social). So, no vaccine under any circumstances, virus is overblown, conspiracy theorists make valid points, and I suspect if they succumbed they would say it was God's will, they are living true to their beliefs. Last night, bothered by the situation, I wondered if they would change if their child or grandchild was dangerously ill. Going back to getting it on the plane, that is the likely place, although depending on what they did on that celebratory vacation, given that it was in Florida and they were there for 2-3 weeks...but she would not go there. No doubt she & her husband will be first in line to endorse governor cretin should he manage to mount a campaign.

The other "friend" is someone I met more recently. She is a neighbor and acquaintance. I un-followed her a while ago because of political posts. She is as lefty as the idiot quartet is righty, one of those blue no matter who types, which to me is an equally ignorant perspective to the idiot quartet's. She got a breakthrough case, and was not as sick as my other "friend," but it wasn't fun for a few days. She blamed it on the waning effectiveness of the vaccine and her comorbidity (obesity), but then admits she had gotten lax in her behaviors (mask-wearing, distancing, gatherings). If you are wondering how I know either story, to pull off un-follow (not un-friend), one has to occasionally drop in and see what's up. That's what I did yesterday with the anti-vaxxer. The lefty neighbor I heard about through regular gossip, so I checked her page to confirm.

 

 I don't engage in anything controversial on Facebook - aside from sharing an occasional anti-horse racing post. Nothing political otherwise, and I hide 90% of such posts whether I endorse the sentiment or not. I have unfollowed all news sources, and some friends as well. Lately I've had to hide a lot of duplicate posts generated by the Texas abortion law. One of the arguments being shared on various memes is that men have no right to make laws that involve vaginas. I just hid one in my feed that was along these lines, specifically describing menstruation, although using graphic language. I'd love to engage because the logic annoys me, but of course I can't. However, if I could I'd comment that such statements are not convincing, because they are too easy to defeat. If the crude meme is true, then men also shouldn't make pro-choice laws because they involve women. Are women allowed to make pro-life laws? Or is the assumption that men and women are two opposing forces that move in lock-step when it comes to POV? Are we going to break into tribes when it comes to legislation, so you can only have an opinion about specific things having to do with issues that directly involve you based on gender or identity or race or disability or sex or religion or class or age? So, for instance, when I was a village trustee and had to vote on purple heart day and a lymphoma run, I'd have to abstain because I never served in the military and don't have cancer? Where do we draw the line and who decides?

I have neighbors two houses away who are unusual. They live in a row house identical to mine. When I was on the village board people complained about them endlessly. They moved into the village from a more rural setting. They seem to be junk collectors. They also have a huge number of kids, mostly tweens. The kids are noisy and play constantly on the street. They have several dogs that they walk numerous times per day past my house. The bedlam causes all dogs in the neighborhood, including mine, to bark. The tweens trail by with the dogs on leashes, bouncing a basketball, skateboarding, toting a boom box. They are not on phones or tablets; they play games like tag. It is refreshing and joyful, even if it is also distracting especially while working at home and admittedly, annoying. Yesterday when the stream of tweens and pitbulls and basketballs paraded by, the image of a Dr. Seuss illustration popped into my mind. I'm not a proponent of cancel culture, even though I have always hated Disney and as a child I disliked cartoons on television unless they featured a dog character. But I must add that the picture in my mind's eye was not one of his canceled drawings. "...all the Who girls and boys, would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!"

 

 

A note about the prior post: when I shared similar sentiments on Facebook, many friends commented sympathetically -- as if I was mourning. I finally had to jump in and explain that I was not sad about it at all. Also, yesterday, I became eligible for the vaccine!

 

Here is a dilemma. A couple days ago I read this on Facebook: "Tips is in need of a home.....We are here to help, all others will be deleted and banned.....We adopted 16 yr old Tula 10 yrs ago. She is a beautiful tiger striped cat with a very calm and timid personality. We are moving to SC this summer and there is no way we can bring her.. I'm looking for her to be the only pet as she deserves special attention in her late years. She has early stage of kidney disease with no meds required right now. Her numbers actually improved from last May. We will miss her terribly if we find good home , but believe it's in her best interest."

It is from Steve Caporizzo pet connection, he is a weatherman for the local ABC affiliate and an animal advocate. His page occasionally spins out of control, with followers judging and harshly criticizing pet owners who are seeking to re-home a pet. Sometimes the object of condemnation asks for the post to be deleted and takes drastic action with the unwanted animal. (Taking it to shelter, euthanasia…or maybe dropping it along the road*, choking it to death*…) The post quoted above would be a classic example. Steve deletes and bans anyone who comments negatively, and puts up a scolding post when it happens. He believes such dialogue does not help the needy animal, and of course he is correct. I don't join in because I can't stand the drama and also respect the page host's wishes. I really, really appreciate moderators who reduce or eliminate animosity in comments and try to facilitate a kind community. However, I also believe behavior such as the above quoted text deserves to be called out as unacceptable, immoral, and abusive, rather than normalized or condoned with a shrug that all is relative.

So here's my dilemma. Not whether to join or start a slugfest (I wouldn't, and it would get me banned anyway) but whether to unfollow Steve? I hate to do that, as I might be able to help someday (and in 1995, I adopted Rudy - a MHHS puppy who was on Pet Connection), but reading such posts greatly upsets me. The subject isn't of the "just scroll by" variety. It hurts me to know that such people are out there. At least I can share this here! Well -- move to SC, lowlife. NY surely doesn't need you.

Unrelated, except in the appalling behavior category: The media continues to hound the governor. I believe it is because of his requirement for police to create a plan by April. That lobby has risen up and will do whatever they can to try to bring him down.

 *Kidding, sort of

 

We are in week 4 of the semester (hard to believe). It's going well -- my reduced schedule is much better. Toleration is majority freshman for the first time in years (and that's great). Two days ago was my birthday, and I turned 55. State retirement age! But of course I'm not retiring. I did something kind of radical and anti-social -- took my birth date off social media, and so did not get 200 Happy Birthday posts this year. I decided to do it not because of anyone on Facebook, but because I was in a crummy mood over village-related issues and I just didn't feel up to clicking all those "Likes" (LOL). It was a good day though. Ate dinner here, which was fabulous, and that's an understatement.