I have made some progress on the overwhelming pile of work. It will be several more days before I catch up, though. Next week is presentation week for students, and the following week is Spring break, so that will give me a chance to break even, if I don't manage to do it before then.

I took a lot of criticism in all my classes, but especially in last night's, because I require students to evaluate each other on their upcoming presentations, and I tell them that they cannot give everyone an identical assessment. Many, many students argued with me over that, some quite vociferously. That happens every semester, but I would say that this semester has been the most vocal. That's true in the discussion components of class generally this spring, so I suppose it comes with the territory. I told them I am not a big fan of grades either, but I have to do it, and no one in class opted for S/U grading, so how can they insist that everyone deserves the same assessment? Many of these folks want to be teachers, and they will have to learn how to do fair and quality evaluation. I don't think everyone bought it, and that will probably show up on my student evaluations at the end of the semester. (In the "Allows Input from Students" category.) Oh well.

I'm a little concerned that the tooth next to the extraction site is feeling sore. I hope it is just from the extraction - or that it is ghost nerve pain or something, and not that I am going to need yet another root canal and crown.

My recent tooth episode set me so far back in terms of work that I am now up to my eyeballs and feeling kind of anxious. So, I decided the best thing to do today was get organized, which I did. The office looks a lot better. The problem is, I still feel like procrastinating!

I am just about back to normal. I took my last Motrin Sunday night, and last night, for the first time since the toothache, was able to sleep through the night. I think there might still be a stitch in there, but otherwise, I am fine: eating normally, with little pain.

The worst 24 hour period after the extraction was Tuesday afternoon through Wednesday afternoon. I would up taking another hydrocodone at 6 pm on Tuesday, another when that wore off so I could sleep, and another after that. By morning, neither the Advil nor the narcotics were doing very much, and even though I was following the post-operative instructions in excrutiating detail, I was getting worried that I had dry socket.

I called the oral surgeon's office, and was told to rinse with salt water a lot. So I did. I also stopped taking the hydrocodone entirely, toughed out the pain, got myself on an every four hour Advil cycle, and switched from ice packs to moist, warm packs. I really don't like hydrocodone. I think it does little to help with pain, it just makes me dopey. And I think it makes me need more and more Advil.

It was worth it, because I started to feel somewhat better by Wednesday afternoon. I even went to campus yesterday and taught my classes. But still today I have quite a bit of pain, and I am still taking Advil every four hours. Sometimes I have to force myself to get from 3.5 hours to 4, although occasionally I can go 4.5 hours.

A lot of people seem to have little trouble with a tooth extraction, and are fine after a day or two. That certainly hasn't been my experience. I am only able to eat ice cream, broth, applesauce, mashed potatoes and yogurt. I am not sure whether I am a wimp, or what.

I knew I would feel this way, but another issue is how unhappy I am about losing a tooth. I feel like I am in mourning. I can't understand people who are eager for dentures. I mean, I guess if your teeth constantly ached the way mine did last weekend, you might rather have them gone. And if you haven't gone to the dentist in a long time, fear procedures such as root canal, or don't want to spend the money, extraction might not seem so bad. But none of that is the case for me. I go for a check up every six months, I felt OK the day after my root canals, I have great insurance and even though I do have to pay about half, I thought it was a small price to pay to save a tooth. I am a fanatic about brushing, flossing and not eating stuff that might break a tooth or pull out a filling. My teeth have always been pretty good.

I guess I was naive, because I thought if I got a crown and root canal, I wouldn't be faced with extraction for a long, long time, if ever. Then this happened after only 18 months, but the tooth was never right, even at first. It has been bothering me since 2003, so I am not exactly sure why I am mourning. It doesn't help that the wisdom tooth on that side now seems to be making my cheek sore. I guess I will get used to it eventually. I just wish it would heal and the pain would go away. That would help my attitude.

The mourning feeling is already making me pretty sure that I am going to want an implant. The pain is making me ask, "are you crazy?" But I think not getting one could mean bad things in terms of my top tooth not having anything below it.

I turned another corner! I am much better today; I was even able to cut way down on the Advil. One stitch came out this morning. I'm still eating a limited diet and I can't say I have no pain at all, but in general, life is good again.

Added: How strange! This post is publishing as Friday 3/13 at 6:22 pm (the time of my last post), but actually it is Saturday 3/14 at 1:10 pm.

I got through my nightmare of a weekend, and had my tooth extracted yesterday. He scolded me for taking so much Motrin, but I told him that it was either overdose on Motrin and be sitting in his chair on Monday morning, or he could sit in the empty chair while reading my obituary in the newspaper.

Twilight sleep is the way to go! It was great to wake up and have it all over. I am eating and drinking, with difficulty. (Hooray for yogurt.) I took one hydrocodone yesterday, but have not taken it again.

I'm in some pain now, but it is nothing like the weekend's agony. You know how they ask you, how is the pain on a scale of 1 to 10? If find that a funny question because what criteria are we supposed to use? Burning your hand on the stove hurts pretty bad - is that the scale? (What number would that be? 5? This was worse.) Cutting myself on the broken glass from a falling light fixture and needing stitches hurt when it happened, when the doctor rubbed antiseptic into the cut, and after I got the stitches, when I was trying to sleep. (What number would that be? 7? This was worse.) Does that mean it was a 10? Or maybe even a 12? Would cutting off your leg with a chainsaw hurt worse? I don't know.

Now I am nervous about getting something called "dry socket" which I guess happens about 5 percent of the time. I'm being very careful, but with my luck, I will probably be part of that 5 percent! I guess it is very painful. How painful? A 10 again? I hope not.

The appointment for my tooth extraction is Monday. I can't say it has been upsetting me that much (since I got a second opinion and found an oral surgeon that I like), but I have been a little nervous about the twilight sleep, sad about losing a tooth, and concerned over whether I will feel well enough to teach on Tuesday. I have been favoring that side (really since 2003 but especially recently), although it hasn't been especially painful. But then yesterday the tooth started to act up - and by the middle of the night the pain was so extreme I started to consider getting a pair of pliers out and doing the job myself. I called my general dentist to ask what I can take (because ibuprofen is not advised when you are getting surgery) but even with some meds the pain is pretty bad, plus I can't eat at all. So now I am counting the minutes until it is pulled and all misgivings and anxiety have vanished (replaced by wondering how I will manage to get through the next two days).

A student gave me an edible arrangement as a thank you gift yesterday!

We are getting a new car today. Well, new to us - it is a 2005. Our old car was a 1995; we keep our cars for a long time. I'm not much or a car person (don't even drive) and neither is Bob, so we are not all that excited. Yesterday in class I lectured on philosophy of education; one of the areas we discuss is the division between materialists and idealists in metaphysics. I think of myself more as an idealist, but I confess that I felt a little sad as I watched Bob drive away this morning. I don't think the sentiment comes from fear of change, as some might suspect. I guess I invest material things with some sort of spirituality. My "things" are important to me, not as status symbols, but as memories of the past.

Speaking of change, last week Verizon offered to upgrade my DSL to something faster (although I don't think it is FIOS yet) and it happened on Monday. That led to me having to spend time reconfiguring, but I managed to get everything working again after a few hours. Today a technician is here replacing the wires outside the house. I didn't feel sad to get a new router! I guess cars are different.

Although I remembered, I didn't feel like posting - yesterday was the seventh anniversary of this blog!

March is coming in like a lion, cold and snowy.

As an addendum to my last post, the crackberry phenomenon isn't limited to students. Yesterday in church, a guy in the pew in front of me was surfing the internet on his PDA, and across the aisle, a woman's cell phone went off and it took her forever to find it in her purse.

I almost forgot! Ande is FIV and FeLV negative!! So the pillow pad is something else, probably not that serious. What a relief! All the other bloodwork came back too - all good for Sam and Sophie. Edna has some kidney and heart issues (which I knew about already), but that is to be expected at her age, and even at that, nothing is really, really severe yet.

My classes are going really well, and the toleration class may be the best I've had. However, today I want to write about a pet peeve. My biggest problem in recent semesters is text messaging. It is kind of trivial, but it creates enough of a disruption when it gets out of hand to seem more significant than that.

I announce the first day what the ground rules are, and I put them in the syllabus. But still I see students in almost every class texting. At the second class, one student didn't stop when I told him not to do it, and then he abruptly left when I called him on it again. It was before the add / drop deadline, and I was sure he would drop - but he didn't. Yesterday, another student (in a different class) in the front row thought she was being clever by hiding her PDA under the flap of her pocket book during my opening remarks...head down, texting away, oblivious. If I don't nip the behavior in the bud, it gets so out of control that these addicted students do it constantly, and more and more students join them. Then the ones who aren't doing it get angrier and angrier, and I lose control of the room.

My issue with it isn't really that it is rude (although it is). It isn't even that they aren't paying attention to me (that isn't quite true, it does annoy me when they don't listen and then ask me 1,000 questions later about something I have explained 10 times in class, or - even worse - when they finally hear the answer, proceed to complain about being held to some rule or deadline that has been stated many times, insisting I never said it in class or wasn't clear when I did say it). My biggest issue is that these students are not engaged with other students, or the class, ever. They don't learn, much less contribute anything - because they aren't paying attention, and they don't know what anyone is talking about, so how can they contribute? So they sit there in their own world, connected electronically to people elsewhere, exchanging OMGs and LOLs while surrounded by real people that they don't exchange a word with. It's sad to the point of being creepy.

I know electronic communication is addictive. And it seems that people have a different definition of what constitutes an "emergency" in terms of taking cell phone calls these days. They must always be available. Nothing can wait, even fifteen minutes. Hey, I love my Blackberry too, but how would they like it if I whipped it out while they were speaking and started texting...then looked up after a while and said, "huh?"

The downside of enforcing this rule (aside from my not liking to have to pull rank and call students out) is that the classroom becomes a revolving door - students can't wait to chat but they don't want to risk my wrath, so they leave the room whenever the need arises. And it really isn't possible to force students to stay in their seats - I mean this isn't elementary or high school with hall monitors and passes for the bathroom. I do ask them not to make the classroom a revolving door - again, on the syllabus and on the first day of class, but that is even harder to enforce than a cell and texting ban.

We took the dogs and cats to the vet yesterday. It was basically a well visit, as none are obviously sick. Edna cost the most and took more time, she she is very old (16+). Sam was the fastest and least expensive, since he is young (3) and robust, to say the least. Sophie and Ande were somewhere in between. Sophie is pretty old for a Bassett Hound (10), but there is nothing major wrong with her. (She has severe allergies, but that is nothing new.) Ande is young (1.5 years). Unfortunately, one of the really cute things about him (he is tiny) probably means he is also frail. He doesn't seem ill, but the vet noticed he has plasma cell pododermatitis (pillow foot). Some studies have linked it to FIV, so she tested him for that and FeLV. His results were negative when we first adopted him, but given that he is tiny, hardly eats, gets dirty ears, has this condition on his front pads, and came from a cat colony - who knows. FIV isn't easily transmittable to Edna, but FeLV might be. Then, he is likely to have a decreased lifespan if he has one or both. It sounds to me as if FeLV is the more serious disease, in terms of both ease of transmission and outcome. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that he tests negative again, but I confess that I am a little worried. Poor "Little!" Not sure what I will do about his contact with Edna if he has FeLV. Luckily, they don't fight at all, and really don't share their dishes or groom each other. But they do share a litterbox, and it won't be easy to keep them separate.

I have decided to start sprouting! It's healthy, but not only that: it will help me (somewhat) satiate my gardening "itch" in the winter. I ordered SproutMaster mini trays as well as six varieties of seeds: alfalfa, salad mix (a blend of alfalfa, radish, clover, canola), broccoli, rainbow bean (garbanzo, lentil, pea), garlic, and one other blend (kale, broccoli, red cabbage, yellow mustard). I can't wait to get started; first, I have to soak the seeds overnight.

We went to the Hollywood Brown Derby, a new restaurant in Albany, on Valentine's Day. It was pricey...and wonderful.

Winter break! It is only three weeks into the semester, so it is kind of soon; I don't have a lot of evaluation work to do yet. This may be a good thing, in terms of being able to accomplish a few things I want to do that are not teaching related. Or maybe I'll just rest! Remains to be seen.

Last night, we went to opening night of the play No Child at Capital Repertory in Albany. It was great! It was provacative, which I expected, but it was also quite funny at times, which I was not expecting. And, since it was opening night, there was fabulous food before the show, as well as champagne and a very tempting table of pastries afterwards. (I had a cannoli.)

On Monday, I went to the oral surgeon. Much better experience than the first place! My extraction is scheduled for 3/9.

I am sick again! Not as bad a cold at the one I had on Christmas, but ugh. And although it isn't as severe, it is more the lingering type. Must have picked it up on campus, the students are coughing their heads off.

Before the holiday cold, I hadn't been sick with a head cold since 2005, when Rudy died. But Lyme disease + all those antibiotics + another shot of antibiotics because of my tooth problems = no immunity, I think.

Managed to survive my campus duties though, didn't stay home and cancel classes. Very cold here again, then it is supposed to get warm for the weekend. The extremes can't be good, either.

I can't type on this laptop keyboard at all. How do people text?

The most important news of the day. Groundhog says six more weeks of winter! But I think we all already knew that, because the wooly bears were mostly black and the fall harvest was abundant...and the snowfall total is already above average.

Today is Sophie's made-up birthday. We don't know the actual date, but it is around now, and I thought February 2 would be a fine date. She is 10 years old. So Happy birthday to Weg! (That's just one of her many nicknames.)

I'm not sure why I have been procrastinating on posting the two things I mentioned in an earlier entry that I have been meaning to write about. I mean, if I don't feel like writing here, then who cares? Why bother? It isn't like it is a requirement or a job duty or something. But since today is a snowy day (we're having some winter and January isn't even over yet), I landed on posting them today.

I've been doing some thinking about my experiences at the dentist. What with my looming extraction (I guess I have made peace with that outcome), this has been on my mind. I remembered that as a kid, I went to this guy who I think was supposed to specialize in treating children. At least that's my assumption, because it isn't where anyone else in my family went. I vaguely remember that I gave my mother a hard time about going to the dentist - was scared, uncooperative, etc. My baby teeth ached, and her home remedy was to put whiskey on them. Eventually she took me to this kid's dentist that I mentioned. Even as a small child (I was in early elementary school, I'd say), I thought he was weird. He was one of those people who was way too affectionate, holds you on his lap, etc. I thought it was creepy, how overly friendly he was. I wasn't much a touchy-feely person, even then. He used nitrous oxide rather than Novocaine, and in thinking about it, that may be the real reason my mother took me there.

I remembered this dental experience because some people have told me that I should ask for nitrous oxide when I get my tooth extracted, since I don't really want to be put completely out with IV, and I think many people fear Novocaine. (I can't say I am crazy about it, not so much the needle itself - the problem is the numbness afterwards, but I can deal with it.) But I have no intention of asking for nitrous oxide, because I had it many times at that creepy dentist's, and I hated the strange feeling. Thinking about it almost makes me panic.

A few years after I left his practice and went to the regular dentist my family all used, that weirdo was arrested for molesting, or at least inappropriately touching a woman - or maybe several women, I can't remember. No surprise there.

The second story I wanted to tell was that a couple of weeks ago, I noticed that my niece had gotten one of her ears pierced, not on the lobe, but on the upper part. My sister and I agreed that is one place besides our earlobes where we wouldn't have minded having another hole. (We also agreed that while when we were younger we might have had it done, there is no chance we will do it now.) Then we started reminiscing about our original ear piercings. We both had a second hole done at a jewelry store when we were adults, but our first holes were done by our mother, with a needle, thread, cork, and ice. (Owww!) Then for a couple of weeks afterwards, you had to put alcohol on it and turn the blood-crusted thread. Finally, you could put in gold earrings, but even then, you had to be sure the hole stayed open and apply alcohol for a long time. It was excruciating!! However, we wanted pierced ears so badly, we didn't complain.

In those days, no other girls had pierced ears. You either didn't get them at all, or you waited until you were grown up. My mother did not only both of us, but herself, and many of my sister's friends and our cousins. She told my grandfather that she wanted pierced ears, and he said his sisters had done themselves, using the needle and thread method (probably important to mention here that my grandfather was born in 1874). When we were laughing about it, we asked my mother whether she had asked the other kids' mothers if it was OK for her to pierce their ears? She shook her head no and said "they just went home with pierced ears." Imagine if that happened today - the parents would probably start a lawsuit!

My classes started yesterday. So far so good, except that they are too big overall. I'm not sure if that is a symptom of budget cuts - with less sections being taught, or what.

I've had several ideas recently of things I want to write, but so far, I have not taken the time. Maybe I will get to it soon.

My parents' dog, Mandy, died last night.

She was a gorgeous German Shepherd Dog, very protective and loyal. She loved her "babies," which were plush toys and her crate. She needed a job, and since she wasn't a police dog or guide dog, she found her own. Being alert, guarding the house, herding livestock and people.

She would have turned 9 in March, and her death was a shock. She was ill for only 10 days, and seriously ill for only 5. The cause of death is not known, although she tested postive for Lyme Disease, but that is rarely fatal. Everything was done to save her.

She was much loved.



On Christmas Day, my mother's old barn cat, Pookie, passed away. He was wild, a stray who wandered in when he "retired." She cared for him for over two years, and she was the only one who could get near him. He was a handsome orange cat.

The end of 2008 was not good and the beginning of 2009 is not promising at this point.

I spent the whole day writing student recommendations for graduate school. Lots of other stuff going on too; I've been preoccupied. I won't write about any of it now, except...

My tooth saga continues: Yesterday I went to the endodontist. I really, really liked him. So much, in fact, that I wish I could have him for the work I am facing. I told him I was not comfortable with the original referral and want to hang onto my tooth if possible. He did a lot of those tests of cold, biting down etc. sensitivity, went over my x-ray with me and explained everything in great detail.

Unfortunately, although he was much more personal and explained it so that I understood a lot better, the prognosis is the same. My tooth is hopeless and will have to be extracted, retreatment or apicecotomy are not possible. He said it must have had a huge filling in it before the root canal (it did, ever since I was a teenager) and that it is thin, probably has a fracture in the root (which doesn't show up on x-ray) and it is in bad shape. The infection is actually near the surface, not deep in there near the bottom (the purpose of apicecotomy). It isn't having any impact on either of the teeth beside it. It may have damaged the bone a little, near the top (something the oral surgeon I went to didn't mention, and bone graft was not included in the estimate money-wise or time-wise for the implant).

He said my regular dentist has already done everything possible to save it. Then he said if I wasn't comfortable at the original oral surgeon's (I wasn't) he could refer me somewhere else. He also said that I don't have to decide about the implant right away and I shouldn't feel pressured. He said that I may feel OK with having it gone, since it is a lower tooth far in the back, not visible, with a good tooth on either side. He said I could choose a bridge, but he doesn't recommend it since both teeth on either side are very healthy and there is no reason to weaken them with crowns. Or, he said, ideally I could choose an implant, and that would be like having my own tooth back eventually, but I don't have to make that decision right now.

So he gave me a referral to a building right next door. It is an oral surgeon, and I have a consultation with them on 2/9. I can't say I am thrilled, but I feel a lot more comfortable than I did after going to that practice that catered to dregs (that's awful, I know, but the waiting room was like a bus station. Not in terms of cleanliness or modernity - it was both - but it was huge and the clientele was unsavory. There was a woman yelling about having the show ID, an odd teenager who was turned away, and old lady who was totally out of it. It freaked me out). Plus the oral surgeon never looked in my mouth - I know he could probably tell how bad my tooth is from the x-ray, but still. It seemed he was talking theory instead of about my specific situation.

So, if I like the new oral surgeon I will go with them. I'm only going to focus on the extraction right now, not on the implant process. I also may opt to be awake, rather than knocked out. I am going to ask a lot of questions about how bad the extraction will be (my niece said it wasn't a big deal but she may be tougher than me) before I decide. I'm not crazy about the idea of being knocked out. On the other hand, I am not crazy about being awake while I lose the tooth (both pain wise and emotionally). I emailed my sister, who is also not very tough, and she told me that she has also had a tooth pulled without being knocked out and it wasn't that bad. She said she got a valium and a local, so I think I will ask the oral surgeon about that approach. I may also take a walkman and headphones, as a distraction to the sound. Bob said the sound is worse than the feeling. I think I will probably decide to get an implant eventually. The oral surgeons I am seeing on 2/9 do them also. I plan to ask a lot of questions and give it thought before deciding.

My first post of 2009! I've been catching up on things, puttering around, sleeping in. It feels good. We had another ice storm today, but luckily, have not lost power this time. My appointment for a second opinion on my tooth is Monday; it is doing OK. I read Left to Tell, a sad, but powerful and inspiring story by a survivor of the Rwandan genocide.

Amazing how when you talk to people about tooth extraction, you discover how many people are missing teeth. It is a humbling experience...kind of puts having only one bad tooth in perspective! I did a lot of reading about implants, researched my insurance, etc. Then I discussed implants with my niece (who has one) and sister-in-law (who has had 2). It seems to have been the right procedure for both of them and they are happy with the outcome. I also talked to Bob and my sister, who have both had the procedure my dentist originally recommended (apicectomy), which the transplant dentist pooh-poohed. Finally, I did a lot of thinking about my options. My tooth feels pretty much fine right now. The antibiotics are done, the infections seems to be cleared up at least temporarily, I have been rinsing with salt water and with a special mouthwash. I decided it is not an emergency, and that I would like to hang on to my own tooth if I can.

So right now I am planning to ask my dentist to refer me for a second opinion - this time not to someone who is slanted toward implants (as the other specialist seemed to be - the practice is huge, lots of partners and staff, glitzy modern office, flat screen televisions in the waiting room hawking Procera implants), but instead to someone who specializes in root canals. (I am going to ask him specifically about the oral surgeon who did Bob's apicectomy.) It isn't that I feel the specialist I saw is incompetent - in fact, if I get an extraction and implant, I think it is probably a good place to go, he is board certified, very well credentialed, etc. But I believe I was referred there not because it is what I need, but because they are participating providers in my insurance. (Which after my research I discovered covers 50 percent - so that means the total cost really is something like 7 grand.) Bob's apicectomy worked fine, but he had to have it for a different reason than I will - but my sister's case was identical to mine, and hers also worked fine. So I am not ready to throw in the towel on that approach. I am going to take the risk - and if it doesn't work out - then I will consider the extraction / implant path.

I called the specialist's office yesterday morning and canceled the extraction. I called my dentist to discuss my thinking with him - and he is on vacation until 1/5 (I will follow up next week). Really hoping my poor tooth hangs in there until then (so far, so good). So that is just taking control of my situation, instead of allowing myself to be pushed into something just because a specialist manipulates me.

This part is more about alternative thinking. I have two root canal / crown teeth at this point. I have never had any other major problems (aside from crooked teeth and fillings in most molars), I even have all four wisdom teeth. My first tooth to act up and need a crown was in 2000, when I was writing my dissertation. It wasn't infected, just sensitive, and my dentist, who I have gone to for 20 years and have a lot of confidence in, and who is on the same page as me (in that he doesn't recommend unnecessary procedures) told me at that time that he felt I would never be happy with crowns, so I should delay as long as possible and just baby it, unless it acted up so badly that I couldn't tolerate it.

He told me the reason I was having a problem was because I bite down hard (not grind) on my teeth when I am sleeping. I know this happens primarily when I am stressed. The problems is due to aging, and having a large filling in the molar that acts as a wedge, which causes fissures in the root and nerve sensitivity. So I did nothing about it until 2003, when I experienced another stressful episode. I believe I was doing the biting down thing again and the pain got to the point where I couldn't tolerate it. I got a crown on that tooth. About the same time, another molar started to be sensitive (this is the one that is bothering me now). I did nothing about the second tooth aside from having the dentist check it, and it mostly went away. In 2005, my beloved dog Rudy got ill, I did the chomping thing again, and the original crowned tooth flared to the point where it needed a root canal, which I had done (no choice, nerve pain was horrible). After that, I decided I would not have any more crowns done until they also needed a root canal. I also had the dentist make me a mouth guard, so that I didn't chomp myself into more crowns and root canals when I experience stress.

The mouth guard worked pretty well, but in September 2007 I had a root canal and crown done on the tooth which is now a problem, because it flared into that intolerable nerve pain. I eventually (January 2008) had to have my first crown replaced, because he had to drill through it to do the root canal, and the crown didn't hold up too well. (Now that tooth is perfect.) But the second root canal / crown tooth that is bothering me now has never been right. I know a piece of nerve must have been left in there. It was a nightmare procedure all around. First, I had a reaction in my optical nerve from the Novocaine - it crossed over and my eye fluttered and heart raced. It was awful having a root canal under those conditions. Then, the assistant gave him the wrong compound to make the impression, and it didn't harden properly - the dentist wound up having a fight with her right in front of me, which was awful. Then, he couldn't find the last root and it took forever - he even had to give me break during the procedure. (This is what happened to my sister too, I guess it is not uncommon for roots to be twisted and hard to find on molars.) Finally, my bite was screwed up and he had to file the crown down many times.

Now that I've had more work done the bite guard really doesn't fit right and I am not crazy about wearing it anyway - what with pre-menopause etc. I have enough trouble sleeping without the added irritation of a mouth full of plastic. So what happened? No electricity, a clogged chimney and pending grading deadline - I was (no doubt) chomping away in my sleep (combined with the aftermath of Lyme disease and many rounds of immunity weakening antibiotics) and that tooth which has never been right flares into an infection.

So in thinking about it, I decided that bite guards, sleeping pills, even crowns / root canals and certainly extractions / implants are "the ambulance at the bottom of the hill" rather than the "fence at the top of the hill." I need to figure out a way to manage stress that actually conquers it. It is part of good health anyway, even if I wasn't ruining my teeth.

The punch line: I have several books on skilled relaxation and I have tried a few approaches that kind of work (tapping being one) but in 2009 I am going to pursue it more formally - I am going to try to locate a practitioner to teach me meditation or some other skilled relaxation practice such as yoga or tai chi. (I do use prayer as a pathway, but I don't believe it gets me into that state of mind required for true SR.) Yoga or Tai Chi will require me to overcome my aversion to athletics (another story), so meditation is probably more my speed. I have told a few others - I won't say they were hostile to the idea, but let's just say they were skeptical, to SR and all things holistic. The medical model's reliance on things like Paxil and mouth guards and surgery is hard to break away from, I guess. And naturally all have great respect for the approaches advocated by conventional doctors.

As an end to a perfect month...I came down with a wicked cold on Christmas Eve. I think it has been over three years since I have had a cold. But considering my current state of mind and overall burned-out-ness, it should not be a surprise.

I am done with grades!! I made the deadline. YAY.

Tooth feels OK. I may cancel the extraction / implant. We'll see, but at the moment I'm feeling that I am not ready to give up on it yet.

Lots of snow here.

Hmmm...the link button in the menu is back.

I am having a Murphy's Law kind of week. Why does this kind of stuff always happen right when the semester ends and grades are due?

2) Friday 12/5 - Wednesday 12/10. I hinted at this in my last post. Hot water heater starts putting out soot. Plumber says it is not the hot water heater or furnace. Instead, the chimney is clogged, and it is very dangerous. (Luckily we have natural gas rather than oil.) Chimney cleaner says blockage is complete, and he is unable to access it. Ceiling in kitchen had to be ripped down to access pipe. No heat, HW for several days during repair. Turns out brick, surrounded by leaves and other crap was completely blocking chimney. Cost: $882; not suffocating = priceless.

3) Tuesday 12/9 - Monday 12/15 (and ongoing). I hinted at this in my last post, too. Molar #18, which had root canal / crown ~18 months ago, develops sudden infection. Referred to oral surgeon who recommends extraction / implant. Cost: $2500 - $3500; not being candidate for Erskine Caldwell novel = priceless.

4) Thursday 12/11 - Monday 12/15 (and ongoing for nephew, friends, neighbors). Ice storm hammers Northeast. No power for 51 hours during cold snap. Saturday night was brutal! I didn't think my old cat Edna would survive it. (Still have no cable, but that's barely worth mentioning). Cost: $300 give or take, for kerosene heater, batteries, candles, lost food, ice, lamp oil, driving around in search of kerosene; not having pipes freeze or (take 2) suffocating = priceless.

This is 1, based on date, but it is so minor in the scheme of things at this point that I am putting it last:

1) Wednesday 12/3 - Tuesday 12/9. Desktop monitor blows. Cost: $150; being able to grade student work = wish I didn't have to. (Sorry, it has a price.)

To think I was a little upset about the expense of the chimney! Silly me. The second night, the power outage was getting me down - and then the power came back and all was well. So now it is the tooth problem. I am feeling blue over it, both because I need the procedure, and because I hate the thought of losing a tooth. I know once the implant is all done (a long time from now!) and I am 3K lighter, it will almost seem like my own tooth.

I know it could be a lot worse, this is not major stuff at all, but the 12/22 grading deadline seems ridiculous to me right now, and during the power outage that was weighing heavily on my mind. So rather than give myself an ulcer, I emailed the students to let them know my litany of woes, and to warn them that I will try to be finished, but I might not make the deadline.

That made me feel a little better. Then I went and took a nap. I'll start fresh tomorrow.

I got an email solicitation from this student

At first I thought it was spam, then I thought it was kind of clever, and finally, I was irritated by his nerve. (Then I deleted it.) I don't know his financial situation, but if his parents can afford to pay, as the article states, why is he emailing me? It is presumptuous! I have a lot more worthy charities on my list. Plus, I am an adjunct - my position is practically volunteer work. Hey, I completely sympathize with the unfairness of a mid-year tuition increase. I am upset about the economy, and I am more disgusted over Governor Paterson's inept management of the State budget than many people seem to be. When I read the article, I became even more irritated at this obnoxious guy than I was when I received the email. I have a news flash for him: you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. The faculty are terrible but you still have the audacity to ask them for a handout? Why would someone with that attitude think he was worthy of my support? Now that you've had your 15 minutes of fame: Get lost.

The menu with the ability to link within the text seems to have vanished from blogger. Not sure what is up - but that is the reason for the title with the link, it is the only way I could do it.

In other news, we got a Christmas tree from the boy scouts on Sunday. It is a beautiful scotch pine. And I discovered yesterday that I need oral surgery! Blah. Right now, I am waiting for a guy to come and clean our chimney. I wish he would come, so I could go back to focusing on grading. (And let the dogs out of the bedroom.)

I am reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. I am nearly finished (I would have been done last night but decided not to stay up until 2 am reading, the way I had for the past several nights). A beautiful book, also devastating. I should have waited until after grades were done (12/22) to pick it up, since I have no self-control when I like a book, but oh well!

Classes for the Fall semester were done last week. All in all, it was a good semester, but I am not sorry to see it come to an end.

The first question in this week's Miss Manners column brought back a memory. When I was in college, I was invited to a friend's house for dinner. He was from an "elite" family - or at least upper middle class. Educated parents. Classy neighborhood. The dinner was formal, and the two sons even changed into white shirts for the occasion (both were the jeans and tee-shirt type). When anyone spoke, all around the table put down their utensils and focused on the speaker with rapt attention. I was afraid the food would get cold if I talked too much! It was something I had never experienced before; in my family someone is constantly talking and vying for the floor. I never considered whether dropping everything to pay attention was proper etiquette, but it did seem excessively polite, and to have my conversation be so respected made me feel important. Later, however, sad life events regarding my friend - their son - made me wonder if the reason they did it was because they were unused to dinner time talk - if they sat silently eating through most meals, and having lighthearted chatter was a novelty?

Nothing much to write, except that is very cold here. I checked the Old Farmer's Almanac, and they said: "Nov 18-22: Sunny, seasonable." In 1953, Elwyn Davis reported the weather today to be "62 at 12 PM. Warm dark murky drizzling rain set in early PM. Strong southerly wind developed evng with showers." For 1934, his weather entry was "Continued foggy, gloomy, warm, misty. Brisk south west winds evng. & partly cloudy." The 1975 entry: "41 at 7:20 AM, 34 at 8 PM. Colder - cloudy AM, clearing - sunny PM. Wind northerly - starlight evng, still" while in 1926 it was "Mostly cloudy, Raw cold air, light winds."

I guess the State's situation is so bad...that we needed three more $178,000 / year Governor's office staffers. What a hypocrite. Why do I suspect they will be exempt from "the pain" of forfeiting their raises and lagging a week's pay?

Student presentation week. It's a time of the semester that I like a lot, and not just because for me, it involves less work in terms of preparing for class. (Critical right now because this is also a time when I have a lot of other work to do - both grading and advisement.) I get to see some really stunning student efforts. Most of the presentations are really, really impressive. Many are quite nervous, but they do a good job. Unfortunately, there usually are a handful, especially in my lower-division class, where the lack of effort is glaringly obvious, and this semester was no different. I'm quite irritated at a few of the students in the lower division class, in fact. I require peer assessment, which causes some consternation - both for the slackers and for those who put in serious effort. It even generates some "smart mouth" when I explain the rules. But, most of the good students appreciate the opportunity.

State budget is dreadful. Lots of rumors. I can't worry about it, though. (Easier said than done.)

I managed to download some of my files before it happened, but AOL hometown went away on Friday. I didn't download all of them, unfortunately. I do have them all saved, on an old USB zip drive (which I am keeping my fingers crossed will still work). I had already established space on Verizon to transfer the files over, but my webpage creator (Adobe PageMill) only works on "old faithful" (my Win 98 computer) and I haven't ever purchased anything to use on my XP machines. I can't just FTP the old pages to Verizon, because the links need to be changed to reflect the new address. Plus, the site could use a face lift, and I may as well tackle it with this change. Using something new to develop the site will require a learning curve. Verizon includes one of those easy site builders, but it isn't very flexible and there will be a lot of re-work regardless of what I do. In any event, I am not going to have the time right now to really focus on this - although I may do something quick in the interim. Not sure. This is crunch time in the semester, when there is so much work that I hardly have a minute to type this. So, to all of the folks who arrive here via searches for One Room Schools, or the Battle of Saratoga, or Bungalow Houses (there are others, but those are the popular search terms that come to mind) ~ I'm sorry! I'll restore everything as soon as I am able. It might have to keep until January, though (but I am not sure I will be able to make myself wait until then). Stay tuned.

Today was World Youth Day at church. The teenagers do all the "jobs" (lector, usher, etc.) and the band plays. The music was so beautiful. A cute little boy with super thick glasses was sitting behind me, and during the handshake of peace, he stuck his hand out eagerly to every person surrounding him, while wearing a big smile. It was such a beautiful fall walk home, and all I could think was "it's great to be alive."

Difficult week on campus. I handed out a sheet the university asked us to distribute about safety and also listing the offices where students can go for help if they are depressed. They also asked us to give the students a chance to talk about it if they wanted and when I did this in last night's class (I doubt many other faculty do this, to be honest), I got an earful. The students are scared, and they don't feel as if the university does enough to keep them safe. I have to do it again on Tuesday, and I guess after that I will take the remarks I wrote down to my department's chair for him to report it to the dean or someone else. I doubt it will help, but I promised the students that is what I would do.

It was a beautiful weekend. It is a great year for foliage. Yesterday, we went to Golden Harvest and got apples, we also took a tour of their new distillery, where they make vodka. I made apple crisp! It is so easy, much faster than pie, and it came out delicious. I think I am feeling a lot better re: Lyme Disease, but I still find myself extremely tired at times.

I think if I was still keeping a paper journal this would probably be one of those dry spells where I could cast it aside for months, if not years. Part of the problem at the moment is that the things that are on my mind are not things I write about here. (Mostly about students, but also about a few other things as well.) So maybe the reality is that a private, paper journal would be more useful to me right now.

I decided to figure out where I will be hosting my website. I wound up buying space from Verizon, since the 10MB I get with my account won't be nearly enough. It was something of an aggravating process, in that I couldn't remember my user ID, password or even email address, and resetting them meant I had to change my router settings...and guess what? I couldn't remember the password for that either. Finally I got that all working, and then I contacted AOL to determine how much webspace I would need, and they couldn't easily answer that question. So, I wound up simply multiplying the number of AOL screen names by the amount of webspace. I don't know if I am using that much but at least I know I couldn't have been using more than that. Now, to find the time to transfer everything over, which will mean making revisions since the address will have changed, and the links won't work otherwise. It is way past time for a complete overhaul anyway, but spending time on that when grading essays is the priority will be a challenge.

Bummer.

I got a message yesterday that AOL is closing down hometown and FTP. I guess this means I will have to find a new host for my website! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! How irritating. Hopefully either Verizon or Time Warner includes space. But even having to transfer the files is annoying. Not something I have time for!

After two days of barking and equipment noise, the crew has moved up the street and the hounds (make that one full-hound and one half-hound) can get some much needed rest. Edna was able to prowl the yard. All is well.

Make that all is almost well! Reading the paper this morning, in Dr. Fox's column a voluntary recall of Mars dry cat and dog food is announced due to possible salmonella contamination. The dogs eat a homemade diet, Edna eats Wellness canned and Fancy Feast dry, but Ande, who eats Wellness dry food (although he is not at all a big eater), adores Natural Temptations. I got a free sample when I bought Wellness, which is the only reason I tried it. So we give him many treats per day, because he expects one when the dogs get a cookie and it is so cute. Natural Temptations are made by Mars! Although I haven't noticed any signs of illness, in the article, "Natural" is one of the brands listed in the recall.

So I went to the website and luckily, "Natural" is a Sam's Club brand; Natural Temptations aren't listed. What a relief!

Two pieces of good news! I think I finally found a decent hosting service for my audio files: Box.net, and I located a few pairs of Supreme Softspot Trek shoes in my size! (Not linking since I don't want anyone else swooping in to buy them :-).

Major work is being done on our street - it is a long time coming, so I'm not complaining...but today, they tore up the part in front of our house to put in new drainage pipes. This is how my day went: Equipment Noise Dog Barking Equipment Noise Two Dogs Barking Construction Worker Yelling Two Dogs Viciously Barking Equipment Noise Two Dogs Barking Equipment Noise Dog Barking Quiet for a Moment Dog Intermittently Barking Equipment Noise Two Dogs Barking. Lunch Break. Repeat.

I have been cooking the last things from the garden. Yesterday I made butternut squash. I don't think I have ever had it before, and didn't know what to expect. It was delicious!! Tonight I am making zucchini parmesan.

Yesterday at church, an adult was baptized. I've never been to an adult baptism before. I know it is common in some churches because they either don't accept baptism from other religions, or because they don't believe in baptizing babies, but neither is true of the Catholic church. Apparently this young woman had never been baptized, and as an adult she has decided to become Catholic. She will make her communion at the Easter vigil. It was an interesting and beautiful ceremony. The woman and her sponsor went up to the altar, the priest read a blessing, the sponsor made the sign of the cross over various parts of the woman's body (forehead, eyes, lips, hands, etc.), and then after each, the choir and congregation sang. We have some really talented people who serve as cantor, and also in the choir. The music often brings tears to my eyes and yesterday's ceremony did too (and I am not much of a crier, so that is saying a lot).

All in all, it was a good birthday...went to Franklin's Tower for dinner; that has become one of my favorite restaurants. Got home, and a friend had surprised me by leaving a fall wreath on the door. Once inside, I discovered that on the answering machine, one of my brothers left a message, where he sang happy birthday. Then, over the weekend, my mother made my favorite food, eggplant parmesan and I had a big meal at my parents' house with other family members. I got a watch, a St. Brigid's cross necklace, a box of Krause's candy, a sweater, a pottery vase, a bookmark, a Korean coin necklace, and a few cards. I swam Saturday (the water was 63 degrees, but felt fine), again briefly on Sunday (60 degrees, and it felt very cold) and then we closed the pool. No regrets, I think that is the latest I have ever taken a swim! We got some second cut hay in on Sunday. An unexpected thunderstorm rolled in toward the end of haying and soaked us! I was especially tired when we got home on Sunday night - what with the remnants of Lyme Disease, such an active weekend and the late night.

I've been watching a ten-year-old British documentary called The Nazis that I got from netflix. It's very powerful, and I am learning a lot about WWII that I didn't know.

The last netflix movie I watched before this was Rent. I'd seen the show years ago and liked it a lot, and have the soundtrack which I also really liked, and unfortunately, overplayed. However, I didn't like the movie very much. The show didn't translate very well to film, even though most of the original Broadway cast were in it. The downside of having the original cast was that they almost universally struck me as too old for the parts. It also seemed extremely dated. I wonder why it wasn't made into a movie during its top popularity period of the '90s?

Earlier this week, I removed the plastic from The Chronicle of Higher Education, and a DVD fell on the floor. I don't remember anything free ever being included with the newspaper before. I looked it over and thought it contained a preview for a documentary called Obsession, but it turned out to be an hour-long version. It was pretty scary. It was strange that The Chronicle sent it out.

Just now, I got a robocall pushing a movie called Fireproof that opens next Friday. I don't remember that ever happening before.

Today I am 47. How can that be? My birthday is always kind of odd. Not that I mind getting older necessarily (I mean, I don't love it but it is better than the alternative and the truth is my life has gotten better over the years), but there is that bittersweet end of summer, back to school thing (even though I like fall), and then there have been a lot of bad things that happened in September. I am sure you could say that about any month; maybe I just notice it more because it is my birthday month. Other people's birthdays who are now gone, so their birthdays pass and it is a reminder. Mimmie, Aunt Jean. Rudy and Howie both died in September, and Rudy was born in September. 9/11. Don's death, and some other things I won't mention. This year, there is the resurfacing of that thing from the past that I hinted about already once. I brought in candy for my students to celebrate my birthday. It's the first time I've done that. I have occasionally brought in leftover Halloween candy, but not recently.

Rudy would have been 13 today. I thought I would still have him, instead next week he will be gone 3 years. Sniff. Happy birthday, Mr. Wuj.

Since Lyme Disease, I've been more tired than usual. I have been trying (somewhat successfully) to get more sleep. To some degree, I have no choice because I am SO tired. But I still have to be careful about letting myself stay up to late. I did some reading and was concerned that maybe it was "Post-Lyme Disease Syndrome" (I wasn't overly concerned because what I read says it usually resolves on its own after a while). But after I read more I determined that I don't have that many of the symptoms. My biggie: episodes of extreme tiredness. The syndrome seems to include neurological, memory, mood problems, etc. and I don't notice any of that. Maybe concentration / focus issues a *little,* but that always accompanies tiredness so I haven't really separated it as a symptom. Plus, the problems have to persist for six months after treatment and I haven't even been done with doxy for a month yet. So I guess this is just what is expected with Lyme Disease, and it will go away eventually.

The weather has been so warm that we left the pool open. I swam Friday night, Saturday (in the rain) and Sunday. I think it will have to be closed this weekend though. Although they are kind of shopworn, the gardens continue to produce. Tonight we are having fresh beets! Can't wait!!

Classes are great. I've had a couple of irritations, but nothing serious enough to lessen how good this semester has started out. My enrollment is pretty even so far: in the four classes there are 26, 28, 30, 32.

One thing I note, not just this Fall, but gradually over time, is the number of students who call me by my first name without asking. That's irritating when it is anyone other than a serious, well-meaning student. With wonderful students, I really don't care, even if I do believe they should ask me if it is OK (and I would say yes, even though I am silent on the subject in class - I mean, I don't prompt it).

But there are some who do it to show disrespect. They become overly familiar because they want to decrease the status differential for bad reasons. There is a problem and they claim it is my fault. Cheating. Not doing various assignments. Bad attendance. Missing deadlines. They think by calling me by my first name it will decrease my authority, and increase their control. I only say something when I am really pushed, and once this summer I told the offending student that I preferred to be called Dr. He continued to use my first name anyway. Very passive-aggressive. Would you have done that to the person who has the power to assign grades?

Second week of classes and it is so hot! Feels like early August. Speaking of classes, so far mine are awesome. The students seem very engaged. Lately - I'd say the past couple of years, I have been lucky with my classes. Either that, or after 8 years, I have gotten to be pretty good at this teaching thing. The Fall semester is always the best.

I picked vegetables - came inside - thought I had three of the larger tomatoes from the July 4 plants but could only find two - in the process of looking, dropped a few of the small grape tomatoes on the floor - scrambled to get them before Ande (who tried to play with one). Shared a nectarine with the dogs. Went in the bathroom. Heard Sophie's awful barking, she makes a terrible sound when she is trying to protect her dinner from Sam (we generally have to guard for her, since Sam is extremely competitive). Yelled shut up, came out of the bathroom. Saw that she had something, was worried that it was a nectarine pit (though I thought I was careful about throwing it out). She guiltily drops it to bark at me for threatening her, and I see it is a small red ball. Wonder where it came from, realize it is the missing tomato, which she proceeded to eat in between barks (and Sam kept his distance, but begged from me until I gave him a grape tomato).

Classes started yesterday! I am pretty much already back in the groove. Both went well. My online class started Monday and it is too big. Usually a lot of students drop in the beginning once they see what they are getting into, but that hasn't happened so far. Tomorrow I will have the first of my remaining class. On Friday we are going to the Chatham Fair. And then swimming this weekend! It's bittersweet, the end of summer.

I know it has been a while since I signed on, because the blogger dashboard is different tonight.

I got my grades done (I thought I had until 11:59 pm on the 21st...turns out that I was holding up the registrar from doing degree clearance for August graduates! Yikes! I am not sure if Lyme Disease has impacted my brain, or if the registrar was just hassling me). I failed two students and gave three D grades. I already had quite a go around with one of the students who failed. I suspect I will get some complaints, if not from another of those five then from one of the students who got C or B. There were quite a few A grades this summer also. That is the way summer is, students are either completely motivated, or total slackers.

I have three of my syllabi done, and the online class partially updated. I am always pushing deadlines, but this semester is ridiculous.

But I will get everything done tomorrow, and the weekend looks great for swimming. I am also going to plant spinach.

Last night we went to see Neil Diamond at the Times Union Center. (Note: it will always be the Knick Arena to me.) I am not a fan of his at all, in fact the only song that came to mind when I agreed to go was "Coming to America." (Turns out that was the encore.) We got the tickets for free, though, and who can say no to that? They were nosebleed, second row from the top, but even those go for $55 each. Apparently, when shows don't sell out, the unsold tickets are donated to charities, and become tax write-offs for the arena and entertainer. So that's how we got them.

It was a curious experience, watching the concert from so high up. I don't think I have ever sat so far away. It wasn't bad, actually, because it was not nearly as loud up there. And when you aren't a major fan, it is more comfortable to sit away from the groupies who were throwing underwear on the stage. Sometimes it was almost like being an observer, rather than a participant. The one drawback was that it was hot up there! It seemed that many people around me were afraid of heights. Despite my various phobias and neuroses, that isn't a problem of mine.

He played several songs from a new album (the standout was a song called "Pretty Amazing Grace,") and a lot of his old stuff. It turned out that I knew about three-quarters of them, for example "Sweet Caroline," "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" (a song I have never liked, but then I am not a Streisand enthusiast, and most recently she generates memories of my last root canal - when the dentist was playing one of her albums and I thought I would go insane), and "Forever in Blue Jeans."

He spoke about his faith and his Brooklyn childhood. There was a big screen behind the stage with close ups of the band, or sometimes with pictures of his family, from when he was a kid, so binoculars were not necessary. It was somewhat generic (he didn't mention Albany) and he didn't do that much chatting. There was no political commentary, which was a welcome change from most concerts I attend. I can't say it transformed me into a fan who will run out and buy his albums, but it was a surprisingly enjoyable night.

I almost forgot! Ande got his first mouse. He was so proud that he puffed up to twice his size, but even at that, he is still much smaller than Edna. She supervised. It was kind of awful in a way (I can't even kill spiders or ants), but on the other hand, getting rid of (indoor, he will never be allowed to get critters outside) pests is a great thing about cats. Both dogs were either afraid or disgusted, I couldn't tell which. They do not seem to have any instincts.

There are parents who put "my child is an honor student" bumper stickers on their car. And then there's me, recording my cat's first successful hunt.

Finally: some interesting links on Lyme Disease / transmission from insects other than ticks here.

Yesterday, I got my hair cut and while I was waiting I read the least obnoxious magazine I could find. It was Redbook. Two articles really irritated me, so today I went to the website to see if I could post a comment and even though this one seems to have a comment option, I couldn't figure out how to do it.

So here goes: articles like this one on avoiding tickets encourage bad driving, traffic fatalities, corruption, scofflaw behavior, and give the impression that women are airheads. (But maybe Redbook readers are airheads.) You should be ashamed of yourself for publishing this irreponsible garbage, even in a fluffy magazine like Redbook.

This one does not seem to have a comment feature. Although it's another incredibly trite piece of writing, hats off to Kristy for getting at least somewhat healthier, but on what planet is a woman of her height (5'4") a size 10 at 150 pounds and a size 6 at 130 pounds? I call BS. Why wasn't that questioned by an editor? I am the same height as Kristy, and I have worn size 10 clothes since I reached adulthood. I weigh 130 right now, and can fit that size from ~125 (roomy) to ~135 (tight) pounds. I'd say someone at 150 pounds is closer to size 14. To wear a size 6, you would need to be ~110 pounds. This really makes me wonder about the veracity of the entire article.

After a busy weekend (Bob's 30 year HS reunion was Saturday), I finished the doxycycline on Tuesday. I hope it worked! Now begins the countdown to the end of summer session (tomorrow), grades (8/21) and the first day of classes (8/26). Despite the rain (and flooding on Monday), the garden is producing like mad.

My summer class will be over on 8/15, grades are due 8/21, and then the fall semester starts 8/26. Ugh. I always dread it! But once classes start, I won't mind so much. Lots of work to do by then, though.

Harvesting lots of stuff from the garden. Tomatoes galore. Picked the first cucumber on Monday!

On Sunday we went to Oneonta. I think the last time we visited there was February 2007. Too long. We walked around downtown, drove around the campus, felt sad and old, and ate at Brooks'. On the way out we stopped at the Carrot Barn in Schoharie and got corn and beets.

This weekend is Bob's 30 year high school reunion, so it's another weekend on the road.

On the way back from the doctor on Monday, we went to Rensselaer Appliance and got a new stove. I'm not the type of person to rip out a kitchen because it looks dated or to replace something just because it is the wrong color or does not have the latest features. I believe such actions to be wasteful and spoiled. And I just don't care about "stuff" that much.

But our Kenmore owes us nothing. It is about 20 years old and the electronic ignition broke long ago, so now all the burners have to be lit with a match. About a week ago one of the front ones stopped working entirely, you can't even turn the knob. So it was time. We got one that is black, with the grey accents. It has a window in the door and self-cleaning which I don't like, but I didn't want to order something and this one was in stock. I'm not fussy. It is a Hotpoint, similar to what we have in Samsonville but maybe one model nicer. Besides the color (Samsonville's is white), the biggest differences are that it doesn't have a tiny burner like we have in Samsonville (which I never use), and it has drip trays under the burners that you can take out and wash. It will be delivered on 8/8. "I've made many a meal on that Kenmore." (And last night it did a dandy job on the zucchini parmesan.)

I wish I had something fascinating to write that wasn't about Lyme Disease.

How about, I have been eating "off the grid." (How Y2K.) I mean out of the garden, if not 100% homegrown then 90% garden + 5% local + 5% not local. I made zucchini parmesan, green beans with garlic, and tomato/mozzarella/basil salad. The zucchini and garlic came from the Samsonville garden. The green beans and tomatoes came from Castleton. The mozzarella, tomato sauce and eggs were local. The olive oil, sea salt and pepper were not. The bread crumbs weren't local either, but I added herbs from the Castleton garden: parsley, basil, oregano, chives. Just typing this is making my mouth water.

Class is going well. I was scrambling for a while. I've just been out of sorts, and I hardly need an excuse to procrastinate, especially in the summer. But...I just got caught up. Unfortunately, about half the class is struggling. Summer is always a challenge, but I am not sure I have ever had so many as this semester. Maybe it is Blackboard's fault.

Speaking of Blackboard, I wish there was some way to give meaningful feedback to IT Services about the courseware. There are so many great tools within it, but there are also pretty significant flaws. The help desk attributes everything to user problems. I have contacted them about the system's instability - crashing, not saving changes, other minor glitches. The answer to that seems to be I have the wrong version of java or maybe it's that I have more than one version of java. However, there doesn't seem to be a place to share concerns not just about whether things work but about the way things work.

For instance, when I evaluate student essays, if the student sent me an attachment, after I grade it, I have to rename it or the system won't attach it because it believes it to be a duplicate. That's no user problem. That's extra work for me. Also when grading essays, if the student did not use an attachment, there is no way for me to write comments within the assignment. There is only a drop down comment box - so I can't correct grammar, sentence structure, etc. as I have always done in the past. The most annoying, extra-work-making so far is something that isn't the fault of the courseware itself, but of IT Services' policies. Already my Spring courses are gone. They archived them, I guess. I would think that they could stay around for one semester, so that I could have easy access to last semester's materials until I am done developing the next semester's work, wouldn't you? I know server space must be premium or something but if they didn't have the infrastructure to support the change, why did they do it? Anyway, there are myriad other issues, but those are just three examples.

(That may not have been fascinating, but at least it was something other than Lyme Disease and how much doxy sucks.)

I had another blood test. I'm not sure why, maybe to be sure the doxy is working. He said my initial tests were strong positives, and that the infection was recent, which confirmed to me that the deer fly was the culprit. (I could tell the doctor was skeptical, though.)

Tonight I am making zucchini parmesan. Such a beautiful day...it was hard to stay out of the sun. (I cheated a little and worked in the garden a bit - hopefully not long enough to make my skin blotchy.)

After my sister sent that link, I decided to search "deer fly" rather than "black fly." It works better, resulting in the following links: from Ohio State University, from yahoo, and finally, this one. There are more, but most of these searches are already overlapping.

In thinking about it, we have never had many classic Adirondack black flies in Samsonville. They are deer flies, as described in the OSU link. That must be what bit me.

Also, I've added a "Lyme Disease" tag to these posts.

A few weeks ago I added another record in the Brown Recluse Spider bite site. I had to create a new one, rather than just adding the incident to the existing record from the 1984 bite. I decided to share it there not because it is due to a BRS this time, but just because that is a great site that people go to for information when they have a weird reaction or rash.

I have to go back to the doctor for a follow up. He asked me when I was there on the 14th whether I consider myself to be at high risk for Lyme Disease. Am I outdoorsy? I said yes, definitely. Not that I am one for camping or tromping through weeds, because I am not. But I am not exactly a couch potato and my surroundings are often rural. I am careful about checking for ticks (I've never found one attached) and wearing long pants etc. in risky areas. But both Samsonville and Castleton are known as places for deer and ticks and I always hear that so-and-so has Lyme Disease. Rudy had Lyme Disease when he was about 7, at that time we used to walk him at Schodack Island State Park (we stopped as soon as we figured out that it is loaded with ticks near the Hudson).

When he asked me, I didn't say yes for this reason, but Castleton has tons of mosquitos (although I think they may have been worse in some past years), and Samsonville is loaded with deer flies (especially this year).

My sister found this link from the New England Journal of Medicine about Lyme Disease being transmitted by a fly.

I tested positive for Lyme Disease! So that means 28 days of Doxycycline. Yuck. I am so nauseous from my morning dose as I write this. But I certainly don't want to get any other symptoms of Lyme, so take it I will. What is scary about my diagnosis is that everything I have read about Lyme says that it takes ~3 days for an attached tick to transmit it, and that there is no evidence that it can be transmitted by other insects. Yet I was standing on my deck and felt the bite. Checked it within five minutes and saw the reaction, and no attached tick.

So to me this means, with my n=1, that I got it either from a flying insect (such as a black fly) that bit me through my jeans (which is what I suspect), or that a tick crawled into my pants, bit me, immediately dropped off, yet gave me Lyme Disease. I know a lot of people who have tested postive without ever finding a tick. The assumption is that they had one attached, didn't see it, and it fell off eventually. Now I say, maybe not. Maybe they were bit by a black fly and didn't think anything of it. Didn't get a rash or major reaction, but then developed Lyme symptoms weeks later.

I did find these websites, here, and here, of people writing about their Lyme experiences. Both mention black flies as the vector. So I make three! I say, why not? In Samsonville, there are lots of deer. Also lots of deer ticks and black flies. A tick can pass Lyme from a deer to a human. Why can't a black fly do the same? I am remembering the Brown Recluse bite in 1984 again, that at that time almost no one had heard of poison spider bites and the trouble I had with a diagnosis. So I am always Case #1, it seems.

Also in my research, although my rash was not the classic bull's eye, I can see that it resembles a Lyme rash. In darker skinned people it can look almost like a bruise, and that is how I would describe my rash in some places.

What a summer!

Back from a long weekend in Samsonville. Swam everyday, it was heavenly. All these weekends away are not doing much for my productivity, in terms of the online class. I do have computers and high speed internet access there - what is lacking is the desire to do that sort of work. I get by, but I really have to buckle down!

I think I will be picking my first green beans today!

Over the weekend we watched Waitress (got it from Netflix). It was OK, but only OK. I doubt it would have gotten much notice if Adrienne Shelly had not been murdered. In fact, I think that was the reason I knew about the movie.

Another movie I saw recently, but this one was awesome! It was The Kite Runner. Personally, I thought it deserved Best Picture; it was definitely better than the nominees I have seen [even admitting Atonement was quite good, as was Hairspray. There Will Be Blood and No Country for Old Men were OK, a significantly better OK than Waitress, but to me, still only OK. Ranking them, There Will Be Blood was not as good as No Country for Old Men. I am correct about the nominees, yes? Or am I including movies that were not nominated? I am not sure]. Anyway, my sister said the book (The Kite Runner) was even better than the movie.

Lyme Disease test results are not back yet. They should be available on Monday.

Something happened today that is one of the things I never write about here. It's a subject about which I could write (and in the past have privately written) many pages. I even have several short stories and a partially finished book (that will probably never be finished) on the topic. (I have never considered trying to have any of it published, although a small group has read some of the short stories).

In 2002 when I first started blogging (or ejournaling, my preferred term and the one that I used back then) there seemed to be a lot of bloggers writing about whether to self-censor. The majority of the ones I encountered who wrote on that subject argued that you should avoid doing it at all costs. They advocated a sort of free-for-all, stream of consciousness, raw emotional, "real," no taboos style in the name of "honesty" and "truth." (And my impression was that even a lie could be the "truth" if it was raw enough, but that is a whole 'nother story.)

By 2002 that debate was nothing new to me (print writers always struggle with it, even in fiction), but the online environment does take it to a new level. Anything can be published, and anyone can Google and find it. Although I do believe that sometimes self-censoring can really, really cut down on creativity, I never agreed completely with the bloggers who believe(d) in "anything goes."

I have self-censored this. I've thought about writing something here many times, but never have. I haven't even written about it off-line or read my old stories in years. I'm not even sure why I am writing this post. I guess because I sometimes use this journal to keep track of things (when we opened the pool, when we picked the first tomato, etc.) and I want a way to have a marker. Those examples are trite, but this is major. Let's just say that something has resurfaced from my past. Unfinished business, you might say. I have no idea how it will turn out, and I dare not even hope. (Yet I do, a tiny flicker.)

Here are some cute pictures, to make up for the post I just made! This is Ande, the Villa Valente cat.

Remember this?


Taken June 24

Then, there is this:


Taken June 27

I stopped taking pictures after this, because it was so much better:


Taken June 29

I got out the camera again to take these two:



Front of my leg:



Both taken July 14

I am on doxycycline. It is awful! So harsh, it makes me immediately sick to my stomach, dizzy and gives me an unpleasant metallic taste in my mouth. And there are so many rules: stay out of the sun. Take it on an empty stomach. No yogurt, milk, magnesium for hours. But it works fast, my leg already looks a lot better, thankfully. I will know the results of the Lyme test in a few days (although I am sure it isn't Lyme Disease).

I have been a satisfied Belkin customer for years. I have bought all sorts of computer accessories. After being plagued with several incidents of fried computer components in Samsonville last summer, I bought three Belkin Surgemaster surge protectors in September 2007. I chose them solely because of the $250,000 connected equipment warranty, and because I've always liked Belkin products. Last month a surge in the cable/ethernet burned out two NIC cards, my router, and the cable modem. Time Warner replaced the modem and after much research and hassle, I filled out the Belkin claim form, documented everything, and sent them the three surge protectors. What was the result? They denied my claim, said there was no evidence of a surge. When I protested, and asked if they thought I was lying about the fried equipment, I was told that it wasn't intended to be an attack on my character. I asked to be transferred to a supervisor, who promised to get back to me in a few days after looking into my claim further. The result? An unsigned letter in the mail, denying my claim.

So save your money, and don't ever buy Belkin. Belkin surge protectors don't work, and you will not see a dime of the warranty from this company. Their surge protectors either show no evidence of surges afterwards, or the incompetent technical staff can't find the evidence, or (most likely) Belkin is just in the business of denying claims. They make it nearly impossible to file one, and finding contact information is also very difficult. Now I just run around at the mere prediction of rain and unplug everything. I will never, ever buy another Belkin product. I went from a 100 percent satisfied customer to a totally dissatisfied customer in ten minutes. I am going to trash them at every opportunity (remember, I still have not set foot in Target and how many years ago did they destroy the Defreest-Church House)? May they go bankrupt!

7/16 update: a day after I emailed them my angry follow up, and almost immediately after I posted this (and trashed them on Amazon), the phone rang and it was the claims department supervisor at Belkin. I could tell from her voice that 1) she was nervous and 2) she thinks I am a nutjob. But they are continuing the tests, and will get back to me. Stay tuned.

And yet another update, later on 7/16: I got another phone call. They are going to honor my claim! Stay tuned.

Update 3, 7/17: I got an email with a settlement offer of $82.99 for my router. On the phone they said they are sending me a new NIC and a new adapter. They already sent the new surge protectors. That isn't the total cost of my router but I am OK with it. My one problem is that some language in the letter is confusing. Not sure if signing it will mean I am forfeiting my warranty, or it it just means that I am waiving my right to make a future claim for the same surge. I have to investigate before agreeing. I hope it is the latter, because I am tired of fighting with them.

Update 4, 7/18: the replacement NIC and USB ethernet adapter arrived. I emailed to find out if signing means I will forfeit my warranty, or it it only means that I cannot file additional claims for the same surge. They are slowly redeeming themselves!

Update 5, 8/21: I almost forgot to post this! I never heard back from my email, so I crossed out the objectionable language on their settlement offer and faxed it back. A few days ago the check came. So they have completely redeemed themselves! You just have to be persistent. A pain, and it shouldn't be necessary - but there you go. I will update my posts on the various places where I wrote complaints to reflect this outcome.

Can someone please tell me what is the problem with audio file hosting sites? I need something for the online class. The university could host them, but the problem is that they need a long lead time for uploading - so I can't record something on Friday and expect to have it there for when the module opens on Monday. So that would be OK for content that doesn't change much, but not for the updates I do every week. I've been burned three times on services I have joined - not that I haven't gotten my money back, but the sites unexpectedly go away and are unreliable even when they stay in business. I have avoided free services because I expect them to be low quality - but you'd think premium services would work better than they do. This is really having a bad impact on my productivity in the online class. It takes way too much time that I should be using to grade essays.

I had a relapse of cellulitis on Saturday. I've been off antibiotics for a week and I guess the course I took wasn't long enough. So it is back to the doctor today. Sigh. Speaking of bug bites, Sam was stung by a bee yesterday! He is such a baby about things like that, he carried on terrible. Poor Sam-Sam.

I'll balance that with some good news: Swimming was wonderful on Saturday. The pool was 81 degrees. And I've been picking tomatoes in Castleton!!

Long time no post! You'd think in the summer I'd have more time for posting. But until Thursday I had a really terrible chair in my home office and my back was killing me. Add in the bug bite reaction, keflex side effects, summer session class, gardening, and going to Samsonville every weekend (where there are numerous distractions, including the pool) and posting is pretty low on my list.

Anyway, the bite is 95 percent better. Swimming seemed to help it a lot. I finished the keflex on July 4. I have a couple of other pictures of its progression which I will post once I get around to downloading them.

I got a new office chair! Actually it is used, from a business that traded it in at a commercial office furniture place. New it must have been $500-$700 dollars, I got it gently used for $175. It is awesome! I had a cheapie from Staples before. It wasn't any good a week after I bought it. The new chair is heavenly.

I also got a new mattress. It will be delivered on Thursday. Now, if I can find suitable shoes, my orthopedic problems will be totally gone.

I also have this year's gardening pictures. We have eaten lettuce, garlic scapes (both from Samsonville), and tomatoes (from Castleton) so far. It looks like the zucchini in Samsonville will start to be ready this weekend. Bugs in the summer may suck, but the fresh produce is the counterbalance.

It took until Saturday for there to be improvement in the bite site. The keflex has been hard to tolerate - but I didn't want to throw in the towel because I know how hard skin infections are to treat. What a relief to see that it is getting better. I have more pictures to post; I will put them up as soon as I download. I also have flower and garden pictures from both Castleton and Samsonville. The plants are loving this weather. I went swimming three times this weekend; maybe the Baquicil helped the bite too.

Class started on Monday - luckily I had everything all set to go by then, because I really was not up to sitting here at the machine for long periods of time.

This is the story of my 1984 Brown Recluse Spider bite.

And now for the latest chapter on why I like winter.

I got bit by something on Sunday while I was standing on the deck at our house in Samsonville. I felt a sharp bite on my leg. I think it bit me through my jeans, high up on my right thigh on the outside of my leg. I suspect it was one of those mean flies we have there but I am not sure. There was no blood and the bite is tiny. Bob thought maybe it was a bee since Sam was stung earlier in the day, but it didn't hurt like a bee sting. I went inside and pulled down my pants and it looked terrible within minutes. There was no tick attached or anything like that. I shook my pants out and couldn't find any bugs. By late that night when we were back in Castleton it was just awful, about 4" across and very red. Not a bull's eye, a dark, solid red circle.

It only hurts and itches a little. I had to be on campus Monday and had forgotten my insurance card at home so couldn't go to one of those urgent care places (there is one right next to campus), but I was kind of worried all day. Monday night I put baking soda and cortisone cream on it and thought it looked OK, maybe even a bit better so I stopped worrying. By yesterday afternoon the redness and swelling had traveled to my groin and I freaked.

So I went to the doctor, she said it could be any type of bug but they suspect a spider, although probably not a poisonous one like last time. (She said they do get a growing number of people in recent years who have been bitten by brown recluse spiders, though, which is interesting.) She also said it doesn't have the characteristics of a tick bite. I still think it was a flying insect that bit me through my pants because I'm pretty sure I would have seen a spider inside or outside of my pants.

Anyway, I am on keflex. When I got to Rite Aid to get my prescription, the pharmacist came out and had one of those counseling sessions. I mean a real one, not just one they make you sign off on. He asked me about my penicillin allergy. He said there is a 5% chance I will react to keflex since it is related. I don't think I have ever had keflex before, at least not as far as I can remember. He said if I get a rash I should stop taking it immediately. I laughed because a rash is what I am taking it for!! But a friend of mine told me to take that very seriously, because the 5% is too much of a softball, and the reaction could be delayed, or more serious. (Great, so now I have something else to worry about.)

Too bad there were no digital pictures in 1984! No one would believe me that the Brown Recluse bite was worse.

I saw The Happening last night. I'd avoided reviews of it because I knew there would be spoilers, but even by just skimming or reading an article or post nearby, I knew that it wasn't getting rave reviews. I think he is currently the director/producer/writer who is trendy to dislike. I wasn't surprised that I really liked it, though. I always like M. Night Shyamalan movies, and not just the Sixth Sense. I've seen them all, except for his first two (before the Sixth Sense). My least favorite was Unbreakable, and even that was OK. This latest one was delightfully creepy. I enjoy his take on nature. It's a lot more imaginatively realistic (assuming that is possible) than something like the Blair Witch Project and that got a lot of fanfare. Sometimes on those nights when it seems especially dark and foreboding outside, I will say "the trees have faces." That's not really too scary, I'd say it's more fantastic. His movies remind me of that feeling.

I went for my first swim of the season yesterday. The water is warm already (76 degrees). I'd like it better if it was a bit warmer, but 76 wasn't bad. The water is clean!

During the week, a thunderstorm caused a power outage and surge which fried my router, cable modem, and two ethernet cards in Samsonville. So I swapped in my cable modem for a new one, and ordered a new router and NICs. Luckily, last fall, I bought three surge protectors that have connected-equipment warrantees. It's a hassle to get reimbursed, but better than all the money I lost last summer due to surges. That's assuming Belkin doesn't give me a hard time about the claim.

If my experience with Canon is any indication, maybe it will work out fine. My camera came back, in good working order - at no cost.

I had taken pictures of my new hanging baskets in Castleton. The baskets lasted a day - they were too heavy, and they bent or ripped out the brackets! So we replaced them with a smaller, lighter version and took the big ones to Samsonville. I'll post pictures soon.

Still no luck finding shoes! The ones I ordered have to be sent back. Thinking of trying Nursemates? Maybe they would have a similar shoe to the Trek (they are made by the same company).

The heat wave was incredible but today seems more normal.

The garden and all the flowers, except for the window boxes, are now in. (The shelves that hold the window boxes need work, so that project will have to wait.) I am pleased by the accomplishment, since my favorite hobby sort of took my mind off the problem: all week I have been suffering with my feet.

Last Saturday I got a pair of New Balance shoes that are rumored to be an adequate replacement for the Treks, but the jury's still out. It doesn't look promising, however. I also got a pair of crocs, not to wear all the time, but just for occasionally. The result was that by yesterday I was in agony. Not just my feet, but my knee, leg and back - worse on my left side.

So today I am back in my treks and feeling better. I haven't used the treadmill since last Thursday. Complicating things are that I need a new mattress and a new office chair. (I haven't used my upstairs computer since earlier in the week - which means my campus work is kind of building up.) Things to do with my rebate!! But I really need to find a solution to the shoe dilemma. Softspot First Class is another recommendation I received, but I would like to try them on and I cannot find a store that stocks them. I guess I will have to buy them online and take my chances.

It is supposed to get very hot tonight!

The pool is open! It isn't as green as it was last year. Today, I am working on the garden and yard. At this point I am only up to clean up in the yard (so many vines and bamboo grass the remove; mother nature certainly takes back the land quickly), but I have 4 bags of horse manure to rototill into the garden.