It occurs to me that a reason I haven't been writing here much is because for the past four years, I've been keeping an off-line journal, as I did pre-Internet.

The first post of 2019. Will I post more than last year (30)? No idea, but since 2018 was my least active year since I started in 2002...how much lower could it go?

Something I've been thinking about: changing the novelette into first person. Would that make it better?

This year's tree

I think because we recently watched the entire nine seasons Waltons series, all three sequel movies, all three reunion movies, the pilot movie, and Spencer’s Mountain, I have been thinking about writing. And just now I started thinking about the novelette I wrote. I didn't read it again; maybe I will soon. But I was turning over in my mind what the redeeming quality or lesson would be. It's such a tragedy. I’d already identified her sense of humor, love for cats, and artistic talent as her best qualities. I asked myself the question, “was she a good friend?” I think she wasn't, and eventually I wasn't a good friend to her either. 

I tried to remember times when I would have called her a good friend. When we were kids, don't remember whether it was in high school when she lived with us, or if it was later, when I was in college and she was living there without me most of the time, she organized the secretary. I remember she left  notes to me in there after she straightened it up. I thought it was nice of her. I had one of my usual messes going on in the desk, and I wasn't annoyed, but I did think while nice, it maybe was an overstep. She tended to use cleaning as a way of showing affection, or as an apology, or perhaps she felt fearful and believed it would prevent something negative, like an argument or direct questions, the kind of stuff that was routine in her family. 

Much later, when I got my Master's Degree and invited everyone over for a party, she agreed to be here to meet the caterer. She went to my small graduation ceremony the day before at the downtown campus rather than the big one at the Knickerbocker Arena. Being here to meet the caterer was a very nice thing she did. But then it was ruined afterwards by her behavior once everyone was here. She pulled me outside in the yard and confided through tears that she felt trapped, like she was in a box. I was distracted, preoccupied by having all of my and Bob's families inside. I am reminded with this story of Anne's wedding eve nightmare. A similarity. She wanted to be the center of attention whenever I had something else important going on, I guess to validate my affection for her?

She shoplifted gifts for me when she worked in Woodstock. I'm not sure whether that was nice. I guess it was, in a screwed-up way. She gave me a favorite mug of mine. It says something about preferring to be sleeping. 

That's about all I can come up with under the heading “good friend.” Still a tragedy…

In the words of Burke, the founder of trustee representation - that I owe the village my enlightened conscience, and ought not to sacrifice it to you, to any man, or to any set of men living. Your representative owes you, not his industry only, but his judgment; and he betrays, instead of serving you, if he sacrifices it to your opinion.

The most astonishing thing has happened. Out of no where a nurse who cared for Donna contacted me. For three years, she'd been searching for the sisters or anyone who knew and had a relationship with Donna. She came across the high school yearbook photo in my Facebook album that was labeled with Donna's name. She was careful not to violate HIPAA, but she told me about the last months of Donna's life.

At one point she wrote:

"She finally became well enough for discharge and almost immediately went missing."

That sums up the last 25 years of her life. I feel as if I have received one of those phone calls I'd get every couple years & Donna is filling me in on what she has been doing. She never changed. To the end she was having adventures. And she managed to suck the nurse in and haunt her to this day.

It's primary day today!

First week back on campus! It's good to be back, but it signals the looming end of the growing season, and that makes me sad.

They are even more beautiful in person. The best hanging baskets to grace the front porch, ever. Golden Harvest Farms rocks! They must be the new variaet that doesn't need deadheading. And, they are not sterile! Small plants that are now blooming have sprung up in the little triangle patch of purslane and grass near the sidewalk below them.

I will be teaching toleration again this Fall, after taking a break from the class during the Spring semester. I'd taught it every Fall and Spring semester since 2005, so was glad to skip last Spring, but I think the class is important and I'm looking forward to teaching it again. I'm going to make it a blended class. I also plan to emphasize how much *I* find myself thinking of the theories and applying them in everyday life. For instance Domain Theory, which I referenced in this blog twice recently. Good examples of the two domains are students calling me by my first name without asking first or making assumptions about my marital status (Mrs., when my surname is my patronym) or level of education (Ms. rather than Dr.) -- these are violations of social convention; there are no intrinsic consequences from the action, but it is a rule that is socially agreed upon; and animal or child abuse -- breaches in the moral domain (where intrinsic harm is caused, regardless of the social norm).

I was reminded of toleration on Facebook recently; there is a meme image being shared that begins something like "I am not the tolerant left. I am the appalled left" and continues listing items. I didn't comment (I stay far away from controversy on FB) but the meme lingered on my mind. It's true that both the left and the right are not tolerant. It's the moderate who are tolerant. Tolerance takes compromise. Vogt's book was written over 20 years ago - and we are even more divided today.  

I have been to Howe Caverns once (20 years ago?) and while I'm glad I went, I remember feeling anxious -- with my clothes on. I had a scary experience in a cave 35 years ago. No desire at all to go there again, whether clothed or naked.

I could cite this as an example of questionable behavior leading to career success, but since I believe truth is always stronger in the end, I won't. She was one of two people in a pick-up truck who pulled up after Riverkeeper Sweep and hassled Bob. They represented themselves as Amtrak employees but would not give their names. We got their license plate number. After the train accident, she posted sensational and inaccurate stories on her TV-10-branded Facebook page. I believe they also aired on the news, but did not see the stories myself. By then I had already figured out that the guy in the truck was an Amtrak engineer. He and some of his associates had been giving me guff on the Village and Friends Facebook pages. Once the reporter's first story was posted on Facebook, I was able to ID her as the passenger in the truck. So I sent her a FB message protesting her stories and setting the record straight. Did she have the courtesy to answer? No. I considered reporting her behavior to TV-10, but decided against. I probably should have done so, but I know truth will be the victor in this case, too. A sort-of aside, a recent news story she posted on FB had a Saratoga horse racing theme. That crosses my moral domain (my prior cartoon post is also about the moral domain). The only acceptable story on the horse racing  topic is how cruel it is - not whether whichever horse is winning should come to Saratoga to break his or her leg. It reminded me, when I am done with public service and river access advocacy, back to other bucket list (a term I can't stand, LOL) items.

The days-long extreme heat waves and frigid cold snaps are a collective bonding experience for northerners.

Hot topics in social media administrator-land: Over on the Friends of Main Street page, there is lively (to the point of having to be watched) commentary about the proposed Amazon fulfillment center. At the Village page, on a post about even/odd parking for summer street sweeping, there is a polite hijack about excessive speeding on Village streets. Meanwhile the department's page is quiet, after receiving a hand-slap from the university's social media police. My co-administrator posted the verboten "SUNY Albany" (rather than "University at Albany" or "UAlbany") several times in a post.

This will be incredible, if it happens. I had heard rumors that amazon was the tenant. I view the opposition to the project as NIMBY at its worst. That area lost the battle to stay wilderness or farmland when the Berkshire Spur went in and then Route 9 became 5 lanes. Newsflash: Don't buy a house in a development anywhere and expect it to stay rural. I also believe philosophically that consumers should have to host necessary services they use in their communities -- where should it go, if not in areas where lots of people shop amazon? Should Amish farmland be used instead of the suburbs 15 miles from Albany?

I hope the suicide-themed warning posts are over on social media. Yesterday I even got an email from the university on the topic. Two famous people kill themselves and the web goes haywire? Don't misunderstand, I feel bad that they took this action, and I have always been concerned about the incidence of suicide, but I'm not sure whether the attention is helpful or harmful.