Carnitas! The web is a wonderful thing

My fish taco obsession led me to do some online searching recently, and I found that there isn't a whole heck of a lot of stuff that can't be bought through the intardweb. I was searching for Rubio's Fish Tacos recipes, and found a recommendation for Porkyland Extra Thick corn tortillas. Turns out that this was a fine suggestion. I followed a link or two and ended up at a place called Mexgrocer that has not only the tortillas, but spices, tortilla warmers, and even pre-cooked carnitas.

For those not from SoCal, carnitas are slow cooked pork. That's awesome enough to just be abbreviated to SCP, its so universally amazing. There's very little, if anything, that SCP can't make better. Tacos? That's what I had for dinner last night and again this morning. Burritos? Obviously? Chocolate cake? You know it. SCP is yet another reason that the Pig is a Magical Animal.

They package them in a shrink wrapped bag within a tray within a cardboard cover within a mylar bubble wrap bag with a couple of gel cold packs. It works perfectly. A little microwavin' and it was on to carnitas tacos. The funny thing is that it costs quite a bit to get all the condiments necessary that I didn't have laying around. I had Cotija cheese, but most of the rest of it was out of stock. After buying lettuce, sour cream, salsa stuff, avacados, six boxes of 9mm, and everything else, the bill was rather high. No matter...the tacos were more than worth it.

I couldn't get pics because I couldn't keep 'em around long enough. I think the next step will be to take some of my six dozen corn tortillas (actually a little over five dozen after dinner last night and breakfast this morning) and make some rolled tacos with 'em. Most of the time, rolled tacos are made with shredded beef, which is great. I'm considering making them with Magical Carnitas to see what happens. Seems like a good idea to me.

I think I used to be a gun blogger and now I'm a food blogger. There's no tellin' where I'm goin' next!

What to do when you can't have Mexican food

For the first time in Five Long Years, I was able to be home in San Diego for Christmas. Got to spend a lot of time with the family, especially Mom, and saw some good friends while I was there...although I didn't get to see as many as I would have liked. I was only there for a bit over a week, so there's a limit to what can be done. I finally got to visit the USS Midway-highly recommended, by the way-and hit Casa De Pico and Mardi Gras Cafe, before a bit of a mishap.

The crown on the root canal I had done this year has apparently come loose, which cause OUTRAGEOUS amounts of pain. Enough that if I bumped it while I was asleep, I was no longer asleep, and in fact was awake for a couple of hours before the pain was knocked back to where I could go back to sleep for another couple hours. Why this matters is that if you know me, you know I have proven without a doubt through long experience that there is no Mexican food in Kentucky. Here I was in Mexican Food Heaven, and I could hardly eat any because I couldn't chew. That's true agony.

Because of this, I've been exploring the Intardwebs for authentic Mexican ingredient sources, and cashed in my Christmas gift card on a deep fryer. The bottom line is that I HAVE to have some fish tacos. I'm a native SoCalifornian. They're part of my DNA. I've simply found that if I don't have fish tacos at least about once a year, I may experience spontaneous combustion. I'm sure having them more often than that is good for my health, too.

A few weeks ago, I found a pork roast "kit" that (IIRC) Tyson makes. It comes with a couple pound pork roast with a spice packet, and onions (big chunky hogs of onions. Awesome!), carrots, newpa tatoes (red skin potatoes, sometimes called New Potatoes, or Newpas if you enjoy funny sounding words like I do), and celery. All ya need is a cup of water (Helpful hint: I don't use tap water; our water here is awful) in the Crock Pot, put in the roast, arrange veggies around it, and mix the spice packet in a bit of water and pour over the pork. Let it go for six hours. Ten might be better, but I can't stand to wait that long, so I do it on high for six. It's delicious.

That got me thinking about how easy it'd be to do carnitas, so some exploring the Webz again came across several variations of how to do it in a crock pot, then fry it a bit to crisp it up. I have some ideas to try, make no mistake. I have no doubt that this project will be explored completely throughout 2011. My New Year's Resolution: make killer Mexican cheap and sleazy taco shop food at home. My only concern is getting so fat I can't get through the door anymore, and I'll just have to stay home and make more. It's gonna be a good year.

Ouch. Sore. This better be worth it.

I'm a big, fat bastard, and I know it. That's not a really big deal until I come up against something that proves it to me. For me that was Pat Rogers' Carbine Operator's Course. I ran into a couple things I was physically unable to do, and I didn't like that. I started changing my diet in an effort to move towards being able to do what I couldn't do before. I will do them sometime in the future, after more work is done.

To that end, I started on Sunday working out with my home boy Sean. He's much stronger in the upper body than I am, but he's been shot in the leg and has a messed up hip from it, too, so there are things I can do more easily than he can. When he was a full time Infantry guy, he was working out a lot and got pretty doggone big, and crazy strong. Since he's been rehabbing his injuries, he's gained some weight and lost some strength, and wasn't happy about it. He really wanted to start working out again, but it's a lot easier to do that when there's somebody else to do it with. We decided that we were gonna get into this craziness together.

We started on Sunday, doing upper body. That's always funner, and you know where this is going: yeah, I overdid it. I started off going light, but it started being challenging and I pushed too many reps with too much weight, for the first time back to lifting in several years. I was much more sore the second day, and I'm just now starting to feel less pain in those muscles. Honestly, I was kind of dreading doing the lower body work out tonight.

I headed over to Sean's place, and it turns out that he had a month's worth of water (and other stuff) to get out of his rig, and taken to his third floor apartment. That was about a dozen, 32 ounce bottle cases, and a couple extra trips of other supplies. What ended up happening was that by the time we got to the third floor, the burn was pretty hardcore! I tried to push the pace a bit, and I think I succeeded because my legs felt like lead going back down the stairs. But, I helped a friend, and mixed up the workout. I'm not enjoying exercising yet, but that'll probably happen again, especially when I start seeing some good results. It better be worth the effort. ;)

Grilled Wonder Chicken

I have been exceptionally neglectful of my blogging duties, especially since LF has been down due to server migration issues on our host's end. That should have freed up time to blog, but I generally stayed offline instead. Guess I needed a break or somethin'.

So, in order to have something new to post, I'll tell you about my latest kitchen kitbashing creation: Grilled Wonder Chicken, BBQ Style. Now, I'm generally a pretty simple cook in terms of spices. The only thing that goes on a steak for me is some EVOO, ground pepper and sea salt. I take a similar approach with chicken, because I just like the taste of chicken. However, I was in the mood for something different, so I messed around and got good results from this.

I'm not a skilled cook, I just know how to prepare meat with fire so that it's not undercooked and dangerous. I found that I was getting a little bored with what I already had going on, so I tried this: as usual, I rinsed some boneless skinless thighs, and set 'em out to get to room temperature, which didn't take very long at all. Next I gave 'em a touch of oil so the spices would have something to stick to, and because I like the taste. Next I dusted both sides with Weber's Smokey Mesquite seasoning, and gave 'em a shot of Dillo Dust while I was at it. It was close by, so on it went. I let it sit a bit so it'd stick to the bird better.

I got the grill hot, after warming it up and running a gas canister dry, and tonged the yard bird onto the high heat grill. After searing for a bit, I flipped 'em so as not to burn the spices already attached. I reduced the heat a bit to medium, and then started basting el pollo with some Jack Daniel's Spicy Original barbecue sauce, and closed the lid. this let the sauce glaze on the Leghorn, which is something I haven't really done before. Normally, I'll salt/pepper/sauce 'em before they go on, but did it different this time and was quite pleased with the results.

Because the sauce cooked on the bird somewhat less, more of the flavor came through, and the little bit of heat from the Smokey Mesquite spices was a nice change. I'm gonna do 'em like this again, and see if there's another tweak I can do.

I added some corn and potato salad, and a huge glass of iced tea. That worked downright well.

What can I say? I'm an unskilled bachelor. We can't all be Emeril.

Killer grub the bachelor way!

Man, dinner was GOOD tonight! And, it was simple to boot. I generally don't use a stove; I do the grill and microwave instead, because...I dunno. I guess if I don't use the stove, there's less stove to clean. We'll go with that.

I found a new product at the market yesterday: Dole has a bag of red skin new potatoes (I just call 'em newpas for short) that can be microwaved and steams right in the bag. I wanna shake the hand of the guy that came up with that idea. Takes about nine minutes to nuke 'em.

Newpas are best when they're salty and buttery, but I wanted a little bit more. So, while I nuked the newpas, I rough chopped some dill and rosemary. Then, I tossed that in a bowl, dumped some butter in it, and added some chopped garlic. That went into the micro to melt together, and I sea-salted and fresh ground peppered the potatoes, which I quartered. I put them in a big bowl, and then poured the mixed herby-butter conglomeration over 'em. I tossed em, and went to turn the chicken over on the grill.

The chicken I got from Wal Mart in the frozen stuff aisle. Its a boneless chicken breast stuffed with cheese and bacon. It's supposed to be baked, but I find that it cooks pretty darn fast on the grill, so that's how I do 'em. Get the grill hot, then turn it down to med-low. Then it's just a matter of not burning it to a crisp.

Add to this a VERY big glass of Arizona Sweet Tea, and...WAH LAH! (yes, I know)Easy, instant-ish mackin' bachelor food! I'm gonna bust out a piece of chocolate creme pie later, after COPS (AKA Boys on the Hood, or The Guy With No Shirt Goes To Jail).

Sunday Mack Fest: I love the grill!

Typically, I try to make something more interesting and fresh on Sundays. Not sure why that is, exactly, but I suspect its because I get bored eating stuff out of a box or can all the time. I pretty much always grill on Sundays, but the grub differs: chicken, biff, fishies or piles of pork are in a sort of alternating kinda...uh...thing. Today, it was pork chop time again.

The past two Saturdays, I've been at Crack Barrel with Top and Paul J. after going to the range. Since Top's wife was out of town, Saturday was even more leisurely than usual. Worked out well, though, because by the time we got to The Crack, I was quite famished. The Country Boy Breakfast with pork chops has proven to be the new favorite.

Even though I had the chops yesterday, I hadda have 'em again today. I got the recipe for Argentinian Style Porky Choppage from my bro Conndcj, a prosecutor in Connecticut that is my go-to authority on well made food recipes. As with most good recipes, this one was way simple: first, some pork chops. Drizzleate them with EVOO, then minced garlic, sea salt, and red flake pepper. He recommends using thin chops, which go pretty fast on the grill. When they come off, they look like this, though:

Trust me, they're better than the pic looks...and the pic makes me hungry again.

I added to that some steamed mixed corn (sweet baby corn and classic golden corn) with asparagus and carrots. Because this is clearly way too healthy, some three cheese garlic bread went on the grill, too. This time, I didn't burn it at all, which has been a garlic bread failing for me in the past. I like to cook fast. I'm finally learning to slow down! At any rate, the garlic bread was mackin', too.



Washed this down with a couple Newcastle Brown Ales. I had a couple Harps at my boss's bar on Thursday, too. That's the most beer I've had in a week in quite a while! I dunno how it happened, but I'm pretty much on the wagon most of the time anymore. Its not that I don't drink, because I still do in very moderate quantities (that's been the rule more than the exception for the past four or so years), but good beer in this area is both rare and expensive. Just not worth the investment anymore, I guess. Newcastle sure goes nice with pork, though.

Who Cares About Calories: It Just Makes Sense.

Here's a couple examples of epic feasting materials. Taken in moderation, its probably good for ya in some way. Taken in excess, these might kill a lesser man.
First up, the BSLT:

This started as a basic BLT. However, a sense of the grandiose caused it to become much, much more. When Makin' Bacon, one might as well cook the whole package. It just makes sense. So we had significant amounts of bacon, which means this glorious concoction has eight slices of bacon on it. If you have bacon, you might as well also cook up the sausage patties in the freezer, too. It just makes sense. A look around the kitchen yielded very large bread, in this case, 6" X 4" sourdough. While building this sammich, it was found that four sausage patties fit on the bread, and since it fit, it needed to be there. It just makes sense. So, in order to build The Overlord of Breakfist Sammiches, start with the base layer sourdough, and arrange the sausage patties thereupon. Next comes eight slices of bacon, followed by tomato and lettuce. They should be in this order to preserve the flow of color; obviously. It just makes sense. Between the lettuce and the top layer of bread one needs mayonnaise. I might consider Miracle Whip and/or Ranch Dressing as acceptable variants, but mayo really is the best option.

I was lovin' this brekfist so much I almost forgot to take a pic of it, but I at the halfway point, I came to my senses and grabbed my camera. While shooting one photo, I noticed an opportunity to create what photographers call "composition". You get a bonus cookie if you can name the movie on the big screen. It would have been better if the ashtray wasn't there, but the power 
of the image still comes through.


Next up is something I saw on the Food Network. I think the show is called "Diners Drive-Ins and Dives". The premise is that the host goes to various non-chain restaurants and checks out their signature offerings within a certain theme. That's where the Stuffed Burger comes from. I wish I could remember who's it is to give them proper credit; they deserve it. They make theirs by using the lid of an institutional sized mayo container. They line it with plastic wrap, and use it as a form. I free handed mine, which is probably how it ended up being so huge. The key is to use good quality beef; don't use the ultra fatty low end stuff or your results won't be as good.

I made a patty and formed a small depression in the middle. next I added a bit of minced garlic (of course!) and a mound of cheddar cheese. Try to keep the impression shallow so that the stuffing doesn't break 
out through the patty. Keep it in the middle, for reasons that will become obvious rather quickly.

Next another patty is formed and then added as a "cap" to the lower patty. Form the edges so that they're sealed as best you can, and throw that bad boy on a griddle or grill. Because the Real Burger King is gonna be pretty thick, go slow with the heat. You don't wanna char the outside and have the middle un-melted. Cook that bad boy to your preferred level of done-ness, and garnish to taste. This is the most tasty burger I've had, and I've had a 
lot of 'em. I'm not making burgers any other way from now on. It just makes sense.
 

Its grillin' season!

I picked myself up a small gas grill over the weekend (I know you purists say its all about the charcoal, but its a pain in the ass and I like the heat control of gas much better) and have started back to grilling. When I was in San Diego, I grilled regularly. How could I not? Its grill weather 359 days a year there. That kind of great weather means friends getting together all the time, and gettin' some meat on the Wagon Queen Family Grillster was a required event. Lemme tell ya: my friends can cook and party like pros. I have to coin a phrase: gargantuan awesomeicality. I miss it. Bad. Even with the new grill, I still miss it. Bad. Bad as in lots. Lots and lots. Good times.

So I got this new little grill that's perfect for a couple steaks. Being out of practice, I forgot to grab the garlic bread. I don't remember the brand; its Mama-soemthinerother. Wrap it in foil, throw it on the grill for a few minutes, and mack deeply of its buttery garlic gargantuan awesomeicality. That'll be for next time. Now, being a new toy, I was getting out of control in what I wanted to do with it. After a while, I decided that it really wouldn't pay to spend $30 on dinner without having draft brews to go with it. Being devoid of a keg, I finally realized that I would be better served by going simple. I'm very, very glad I did.

Part of going simple is getting your hands into the work; getting dirty, so to speak. For a decent piece of steak, all you really need is some fresh ground sea salt (I used garlic sea salt for this, but I like using cloves of garlic from time to time, too), some fresh ground pepper, and a good extree viriginical olive oil; I very much prefer the first press EVOO's. They're worth the slight extra cost. Give the steak a good coat of EVOO, being sure to get the edges of the steak, too. Give it a bit of a rub to work the oil into the meat a little. Bust out the salt and pepper, and give it a good coat; you'll end up with a bit of a crust if your grill is hot enough. Once nice thing about the oil is that you don't have to oil the grill grate. You'll get minimal sticking, as well as great flavor.

Fire up your grill while the oil and seasoning gets happy on your steak and soaks in a little. Get the grill hot, and place your steak in the middle. Close the lid. Let it sear for a minute. Literally a minute; don't go much more than that or you'll rough up your meat, and so far its done nothing bad to you. Flip it over, and let it sear another minute. Now, here's where I really prefer gas: turn the heat down to between medium and low, depending on your grill. That's hard to do with charkle brickits; ya gotta wait 'em out. So you've got that thing on low heat. Don't leave it on more than a couple minutes or you're over cook it. Take that bad boy off the grill with tongs. Don't go pokin' holes in the steak with the fork; that's counter-meatative. Trust me on this: the less damage you do to the meat, the better it is. The best part of grill tongs is that they're nice and wide (most of the time; if yours aren't, invest in some quality tools!) so that you can pick the steak up in one go and set it on the plate. The less you bend it, the more juice it'll hold in. That's important. If you don't, the steak police will come beat you with tongs and barbecue sauce brushes. Don't risk it.

Let the steak rest. That means leave it on the plate and leave it be. Resist the temptation to molest your meat. Now's the time for the side dishes. I made two side dishes: salty buttered corn and Haji's Heart Stopping Baked Tater. Take a good sized spud and wash it good. Dirt is not tasty, so be rid of it. Take a knife and score it end to end. Make a couple X's on the ends, too. Now its time to get messy again. Take either butter or margarine (your choice; I actually prefer margarine, believe it or not) and rub that bad boy with it. The tater, foo'. Get a good coat on it, and dust that beastie with garlic salt. You can either wrap it in foil and grill or bake it, or throw it in the microwave. Both ways work; the micro is faster. If you bake it or grill it, add some onions in the foil with it. If you do it in the micro, put it in a micro-safe bowl. You'll see why shortly.

OK, so the tater is done cookin'. Throw it in a bowl, slice that thing up and spread it out. Add a good bit of butter, and top it with a handful of sharp cheddar. Other cheeses work, but the charp cheddar is my favorite. Throw it back in the micro and melt the cheese. Take it back out, and throw a fat blob of sour cream on top. Try not to faint from its gargantuan awesomeicality.

The corn is easy, but damn tasty. Cook it, drain it, butter it, salt the heck out of it. Try not to faint from its gargantuan awesomeicality. I'm tellin' ya, its simple but its so money and it don't even know it.

Like I said, its really, really simple, but simple is key here. Simple is not just good; its great. Now that grillin' season is here, I think I'm gonna have a lot more to add here. And I realize this post is useless without pics. ;)