Unrest

How do I say what is on my mind and in my heart.  If I let go of my filter, my words will anger some.  Yet I need to get this off my chest.  

What happened to George Floyd was wrong,  pure and simple.  He was a victim of a bad cop....and 3 others stood by and did nothing.  Unjustified use of force, Unjustified level of restraint.  Senseless.   Heartbreaking, Sad.  I understand the anger at the injustice. I understand.

The act of one should not label all.

You scream racism?  

Is violence and destruction the way to protest a wrong?

Law Enforcement is being targeted all over the country because the death of George Floyd.  

Innocent peoples shops, stores are burned and looted.  

What does that prove?

I could give two shits about color.

But I'll tell you one thing right now.....what is happening...the violence in retaliation...does nothing but solidify my thought of you....thugs....mob mentality. 

You prove nothing by what you are doing.  Your actions speak loud and clear...and they do not speak of honor or show integrity. 

You want reform?  You want your life to matter and stop being labeled?

Do something honorable....do something in George's name!  

Look in the mirror. 

BE THE CHANGE!

Memorial Day 2020

A day of remembrance.  Not only for those that have passed in our lives, but also for those men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice ... their lives....for this wonderful country of the United States of America.

We take so much for granted in our lives and in this nation, especially the tremendous gift of Freedom.   Freedom.   A powerful word, especially this year.    When Coronavirus (Covid-19) hit our borders, I believe Freedom took on an entirely different meaning for a lot of people.  And perhaps, for the first time in their lives, some truly understood why it is so important and why it needs to be protected at all costs.

As the country went in to isolation mode, the suspension of certain social liberties/freedoms made a lot of  citizens weary and apprehensive.  What would this mean?   How will we survive?  How long would this last?  What will the future look like?

We are urged to stay home and practice social distancing.   Stores shut down.  Bars, movie theaters, restaurants, personal care establishments.....closed.  Jobs lost. livelihoods lost.  Schools shut down, sports cancelled, the travel industry obliterated.  Grocery stores empty of  meat, milk, eggs, bread and basic staples because of fear.  Food chain broke down; grocery supplies can't get the product on the shelves because plants are shut down, yet farmers throw away produce or let their livestock perish because they can't get the product to the suppliers/plants.   Cost of their product dwindles  to nothing, yet the cost to the customer skyrockets.  

Tensions rise.  Political divide, prevalent before the virus, is downright malicious during the nationwide shutdown and reopening.   The greatest nation on earth....crippled.

Citizens are weighing in heavily and using their Freedom of Speech to voice concerns. Demonstrations to closures, re-openings, the right to wear a mask or the refusal to do so. The right to live life or the right to isolate.  The freedom to make the choice for ourselves.  

Yet, through all the uncertainty, through all the despair, there is Hope.   

While life isn't as we have known it in the past, and which may take on a different look in the future, there is a resiliency - a strength - in human nature seen before in this country through the generations.  

We are an innovative culture.  When doors close, we open them.  When we are told, no....we say yes.  When we are suppressed, we rise up.   In times of isolation or social distancing, reaching out to each other through technology to stay connected.  Neighbor helping neighbor, the fortunate helping less fortunate.  While alone, we are still together.

As in the past, we will rise past this time of conflict, despair and hardship.  We may be broken and battered....for now....but it is a temporary thing.  

Our human nature to survive will always win.

 

Mothers Day

Today is Mother's Day for most people.....but for me it's just another day.   When my mother and mother-in-law were alive, I used to celebrate with them.  I'd buy cards, cakes, flowers and I'd always make sure that I saw them or called them - or both.   I miss those days.   I miss my Mom.     What I wouldn't give to call her up right now and tell her how much I love her and to hear her words of comfort.....or to feel her loving arms wrap around me and hold me as I pour my heart out to her.   She had a quiet way about her where she wouldn't say much....she'd just be there for me.   

She was an amazing woman who lived for her family.   Her number one priority was to see to her family and to make sure we had everything we needed in life.  She wasn't a confident woman....except when it came to her family.   In that sense she was a true matriarch.   Sometimes I feel as if we (my siblings) don't give my mother full credit or enough credit for how we all turned out.   Our father was such a polarizing man that our memories and thoughts always gravitate to him.   But Mom....Mom was the glue that held us all together.   She was soft spoken and had a funny way of scrunching up her nose when she laughed.    She was stern though and often the disciplinarian compared Dad's soft spoken ways.   Maybe that's why our memories turn to Dad more?     I don't know.   But what I do know is when Mom got riled up, you could see the fire in her eyes.  Then you'd better stand back.  LOL   (Sounds familiar).

I see a lot of my mother in all of my sisters.   Probably more so in my sister Judy though....just in her whole demeanor.   But every one of my sisters has my mother's loving qualities and deep, deep devotion to their families.    

I see those same carried on down to my nieces as they raise their families.   

If I could have her with me today, I'd love give her the biggest hug and never let her go.  I'd whisper in her ear how much I love her and how much she means to me.   And I'd pull back and look at her face, her eyes and her smile....and I'd memorize it and cherish that fresh memory to take with me in to my next 40 years.     

My mother's legacy....her love...lives on.

I'm a Extrovert

I say that like it's a disease.  It's not....unless you're in the middle of social distancing.   I realize just how much of a people person I am.   While some may relax and really enjoy their time alone, I find that I crave human contact.  I don't necessarily need to talk to them, I just need to be around them.  

It's a bit of a conflict too.  I'm an empath.   I can feel peoples energy, good or bad.   So I should define my earlier statement by saying I miss positive energy.  :)  

Today I went for a bike ride.  It wasn't the longest ride because of the chill in the air this morning.  But I did get out and I did enjoy the time on my two-wheeled steed.   I saw people out walking their dogs, a neighbor and co-worker (Brian) working in his yard, several people sitting on their steps or porches having a cup of coffee in their robes or jammies, some having a smoke.   People were out and about and it was nice to see.  It was obvious that I'm not the only one going stir crazy.

I've been working from home for a month now.  I go in to the office one or two days a week.   While I definitely enjoy working at home, I wouldn't want a steady diet of it.   Going in to work, having a place to go, people to see, makes me happy.   I don't know what I'm ever going to do if and when I retire.   I get bored easily.  I have 8 -10 years to figure out my second act.  LOL

Corona Virus

What a different and troubling world we are living in these days.    As I practice social distancing in my home, I listen to the newscasts and my heart sinks for the all the lives affected by this dreadful disease.   

As much as I want to sink my head in the hand like an ostrich, I cannot ignore the rampage and devastation that is spreading across the world.   Businesses have closed, people are laid off, children are schooled at home, parents working from home, limiting contact with others.    Not to mention the grief of families who have lost loved ones due to the virus or those struggling with those in seclusion while they fight through the illness.   

But for all it's devastation, the full affects will not be known for some time I'm sure, there seems to be a meek silver lining to all this sadness.  As the world was turning at proverbial breakneck speed, it seems to have stopped on it's axis just as quickly.   While we are being tested, we are only being made stronger.   More time is being spent at home with family, being inventive in the ways of connecting with family and friends through social media, spending time in reflection, enjoying the great outdoors, reading, listening to music, writing.   

We can be sure of one thing; whatever God or the Universe throws our way, we are a strong people and we will get through this.   We've survived tragedy before an we shall do so again.   While we will be tested, I' m quite sure that our resolve to prevail will bring us forward in to a new normal, however that shall look.  

New Decade, New Year

If you're a blog stalker, you know that I don't really make New Year's resolutions.  But, what about new decade resolutions?  Is that even a thing?  I suppose it is if you make it one.

I've taken review of events of the last decade; my mother-in-law passing, death of my sister-in-law, marriage of my niece Karen, birth of my great-niece Iris, moving from the farm and in to town, celebrating 25 years of marriage this past September, 20-year  anniversary at work, ran a 5-K, started mountain biking and snow shoeing, losing friendships, making new friendships, readjusting to relationship or friendship dynamics (change), closing down my studio. There were probably more, less memorable events, I'm sure but nonetheless insignificant when the totality of everything rolled together brings me to who I am today.  

You can't help to but to take stock in the "who I am today" part of that last sentence.  More importantly, do I like who I am and where I am.   Every day, of course, is a chance to make each day better than the previous.  So why wouldn't you take the opportunity to do the same with a new year or decade?

Life is all about change; nothing is static.  There are so many moving parts, moving players, events.   To stay the same through it all, is to become stale or stagnant.   Without growth, withouth intention or desire to change, you're merely going through life on autopilot.   One of my mantra's has been "Life isn't a spectator sport," which I firmly believe.  

None of us can predict what life hands at us, but we can hope to be ready for whatever may pop up on our radar.  

Live in Spirit, live with intention, find joy in each moment, take responsibility for your life, your choices, and celebrate each milestone of the journey.   

Live a life worth living, each and every day.

Winter in October

This was a complete slap in the face.  We are just coming off a two day blizzard and 17 inches of snow.  I know, it's the Northland, and we can always expect to have snow any time after Labor Day, but a blizzard?  That's just dirty!

So Friday was stressful for me.   Blaine has officially parked his scooter in my garage, which means that I'm his primary mode of transportation until next spring.  The city bus picks him up and gets him to Wal-Mart and I take him home.  I don't mind; it gives me one-on-one time with him.  It's never a dull moment with him.   But it's also stressful, especially when the buses aren't running due to storms, which was the case on Friday. 

I tried, I really did try - against the wishes of T.  He thought I was nuts when I walked out the door to go pick Blaine up and take him to work and then to my own work.   He wasn't pleased at all. But I knew it was coming from a place of concern...protection. 

I'm stubborn though and put on the boots and walked out the door, right in to a snow drift.   I trudged through it and headed to the garage.  Opening up the garage door was a shock...and so I closed it and went back to the house and sent a message to Terry that I couldn't get Blaine to work.  Then I told work that I wouldn't be in either.

I spent the day Friday walking from window to window to check the weather.  I watched Netflix, made homemade tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, did a bit of yoga, and tried to take a nap.  (That didn't happen).   Yesterday, more of the same.   I discovered that I'm not a fan of being idle; I have too much energy.  

Which leaves today, Sunday.   I took Blaine to work then hit the gym.  Man, did it feel good to work off some of that energy - to move.   I upped my weights on the chest press, did some intervals on the rower, and worked up a good sweat.  It felt good.