The bird is in the fridge thawing. Won't be blogging much this week because I must watch Food Network 24/7 to figure out what to do with this stupid thing.

And this just in from Jesus...
This evening I heard the Rev. Jim Ball of EEN (Evangelical Ecological Network of Washington, D.C.) illuminating the viewers of FoxNews' The Big Story with John Gibson about, and I'm not kidding, WHAT WOULD JESUS DRIVE! It seems Rev. Ball believes Jesus prefers that we drive the "most fuel efficient vehicles available" -- not SUVs. Wow, I had no idea Jesus was troubled with fuel efficiency! Thanks, Rev. Ball, for enlightening me. Although Rev. Ball didn't elaborate on just what vehicles Jesus prefers, I imagine it must be something like this. I must now go e-mail my uncle, a minister, and give him the sad news that Jesus opposes his Jeep Cherokee.

Hmmm, maybe in addition to automobile critiques, Jesus is in the business of home inspections. When I opened up the local yellow pages yesterday, I found the following entry:
Christian Home Inspection Services
I'm not sure what that entails, but I sure as heck would love to turn them loose on my downstairs neighbors.

Oooooh, uncanny, indeed. Take a look at the Ara-fish, courtesy of Little Green Footballs.

If I elaborated on the events of the past week, you wouldn't believe me -- it's been stranger than fiction. So let me just give the following reasons for not blogging much:
1) I bought a house.
2) A co-worker committed suicide.

Could someone get Emeril on the horn and see what marinade to use on this Tibetan mountain chicken?!

Oh good grief. SwissInfo has several great offerings from Reuters today. Tack this one up next to the one about the ex-nun who beats evil out of children:

"A German zookeeper, fired last month for eating animals in a town zoo, has been awarded six-months severance pay after reaching a settlement in a labour court. The town of Recklinghausen, north of Cologne, fired the zookeeper after he was caught barbecuing five Tibetan mountain chickens and two Cameroonian sheep at the zoo, popular with children who were allowed to stroke the animals."

Canadian ex-nun jailed for spanking kids

I must admit I've ranted and raved about misbehaving children who ruin my dining or shopping experiences. I've even wished I could physically restrain such brats, but I suppose the nun is taking it a bit far:

"The trial was highlighted by dramatic testimony of the children who said they were beaten for trivial and even unknown reasons, sometimes up to 39 times with a paddle known as the rod.

"Poulin testified during the trial that children were born evil and the Bible says to beat it out of them."

Neighbor Hell Update
The animal abusers frenzied fornicators neighbors from hell have added a part-husky dog to their palace of sin household. This would be problem enough if they treated the dog humanely as dogs are strictly prohibited by our lease agreements. Don't get me wrong -- I LOVE dogs. I cannot, however, stand to watch ignorant trash morons mistreat animals.
So, I have started looking for houses and am considering making an offer on a modest shack dwelling on a flat lot (almost unheard of here in Mountaineer city) in a quiet neighborhood across town.

Will be out of town and not blogging through Tuesday, Nov. 5...not that it matters.

Little Green Footballs has the most adorable Halloween photo posted today.

I'm happy to report that Ronald Lantz, the truck driver who spotted the snipers, is originally from Ellamore, W. Va.

Hey, I think we've found the answer for dealing with Saddam!

Popular Weed Killer Feminizes Native Leopard Frogs Across Midwest