Hooked On Romance

I was determined to see the sights while in DC, and I succeeded in seeing many of them. The memorials, monument, and architecture...it's a powerful city that has been romanticized to a certain degree I think. Some people visit the memorials and historical sites without putting a lot of thought into what sacrifices were made in the past. I'll admit, I started my journey out that way. Very quickly I found myself surrounded by things and people that had me reflecting on my life, my self, and my goals.

It's the Korean memorial that lingers in my heart more than any of the others. I thought for awhile that it was because my grandfather fought in the Korean War, and maybe that was part of it. It goes deeper than that for me, though. I went to this memorial twice. The second time after hearing Candace Havens speak about perseverance (see part of her talk here). She was talking about writing, and she talked about her two closest friends, but when I went back to the Korean memorial a few days later...

As the wall says, Freedom is Not Free. It struck me, that while the men and women in war are fighting primarily for our freedom to live, they are also fighting for us to have emotional freedom, for us to live at peace with ourselves as much as with each other. Looking at the statues of the men, looking into their eyes, it didn't feel as if I was looking into stone. I could feel their pain. I could imagine how their minds would stray back to the families they had left had home. How thoughts of their wives, children, siblings, parents, and grandparents would drive them on when they wanted nothing more than to go home. More, I could see and feel their spirit. The part of each one of them that lived deep inside them that gave them the strength to face the hardships, the solitude that likely came with being away from home.

It occurs to me now as I think back on my visit to this memorial and the others and I think about Candy's speech, we all face feelings, thoughts, and fears similar to those that these soldiers dealt with. Granted, their fears are on a bigger scale than most of ours, but we all have dark places in our minds and hearts. We have fears, doubts, and questions that nag at us. We all wonder if we're making the right decisions. If we're taking the right actions. If there is a better solution to a problem than the one we're contemplating or acting out.

I didn't attend as many workshops this year as I wanted, and I will be listening to the cds when they come in, but I walked away from this conference with a better understanding of myself and what I want in this career. I don't have the answers yet on how to make sure my new goals come to fruition, as I'm still sorting through all the thoughts in my head, but I'm closer than I was before heading to DC.

If you're interested in more pictures from my DC trip, including some of the sites, more from the memorials, as well as pictures from the conference, check out my personal blog from yesterday at www.nikkiduncan.com/blog.

I'm in the same boat as many authors I know where Motivation is this unbalanced, never ending road trip that has its fair share of lush countryside and lackluster hills. I'm currently going through the desert and thirsting for some indicator of finding the waterfall at the horizon. Which led me to dissect these emotions...

Desert = No writing
Thirst = Trying to find ways to get back that writing mojo
Waterfall = Unlimited creativity flowing through

Okay, I've had those wonderful writing moments when I can't seem to stop the ideas from pouring out of my head...then there are weeks at a time in which I wonder if my writing wouldn't be more productive if I turned to the bottle of red wine that's staring hard at me. Sure, I can feel sorry for myself, or I can fight this lack of motivation by just writing.

Today, I'm talking about what contributes to lack of 'motivation'. The answer is real simple: FEAR

Most writers are stifled because they fear the unknown. They fear that their writing isn't good enough. They fear that they've made the wrong choices..or they fear success. For example: Most writers fall into the safety net by joining organizations to help them move forward without the real investment of actually wanting to get published. On the other hand, most writers join organizations to try to get published with the help of their peers...but what if you subtract these organizations from the equation--a writer needs to be able to function outside of writing circles, work, home life...they must rely on their own strengths and they must always hold themselves accountable...

There are two types of writers. 1. Those who allow their surroundings (family, friends insecurities, pressures) to give them a reason to quit. 2. Those that will overcome all their fears just by trying and someday succeeding.

Of course, it's easy to give in when we're at the edge, a crossroad, a moment of weakness...There are so many excuses that can be given but when a writer chooses to write, they are choosing that even when the times are tough, they must never ever ever give up. If a writer is so easily discouraged...a writer must evaluate if they truly want this bad enough. If they truly want this because of their love of writing or simply the mere outward appearance it presents. I've known writers with both these traits and in the end...the one who has traveled this journey with me, and continues to fight, continues to create even when faced with adversity is the one that is now called "author".

Motivated,
Jenius Jax