i am never without it

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

~e.e. cummings

I used to have this memorized. The movie In Her Shoes features it, and it makes me like that movie that much more.

The Best Thing I've Written All Year

I originally wrote it on Facebook for my friend.  I will repost to share with the world.

Ready?

If you were ever to become a pop star, your sophomore album should be called EVAloution.

The end.

Please pay me the big bux now. KTHANXBAI.

Another Chapter in My Life Over.

I love happy endings.
http://novelconcepts.co.uk/FlashElementTD/

I ranked #2 in the past 30 minutes, with 13 (of 20) lives left.

Now I need to get my hands on an iPhone/Pod Touch and defeat TapDefense, and I can forever purge myself from the tower defense genre FOREVER!

...or at least a year.

Rethinking Resolutions

After watching the Lakers' last two games, I'm kind of at odds on whether I should rethink my resolution.

I love the Lakers, and I like the Clippers, and I still would LOVE to see a game live (my next chance is THIS month on the 21st), but I did not take into account a very important factor.

Free Jack in the Box tacos whenever the Lakers win a game and keep their opponents stay under 100 points.

Friday's game was pretty good, and the Lakers had a pretty comfortable game at the end of the game, but I was surprised when Utah made an easy basket that was too little, too late, and the crowd let out a big sigh of disappointment. I asked why, and that's when I was told of this promotion.

Last night was fun, because the Lakers had the game in the refrigerator, and the crowd stayed in their seats and chanted, "WE WANT TACOS!" and their request was granted. Some spectators kept chanting it outside during the postgame report.

As much as I like both teams, I also like free tacos. I'd be happy if either team won, but I'd be sad if the Clippers were to lose at the expense of hundreds of people to get free tacos. I'd be even sadder to see people chanting for tacos against the Clippers, too. That would make for a not-so-great resolution.


BUT THEN...
This is only for Lakers home games. I guess I just have to make sure I go to the two remaining games where they're playing at Clippers (though they play in the same space). That way, it's also bit cheaper.

Oh...that's this month. I don't think I could afford the tickets at this point if they're still available...

...back to the drawing board... :C

Retrospect and Possible New Year's Resolutions.

2008 was a doozy. It was the year of the Rat.
It was also the year of rejection for me. I seriously have never been rejected so hard so many times in my life before. It's quite a contrast from 10 years ago when I felt like I could do anything, having never been rejected from anything in my life.

But this year had some pretty awesome moments.
Like...
Seeing a red panda in person for the first time.
Admitting to myself (and others) how I've been depriving myself of the things I love doing most.
Realizing I have a lot more to offer to this world and I've been holding back.
Acknowledging those who stand by me and love me in each person's own way.
LEAVING THE US AGAIN AND RETURNING TO GERMAN-SPEAKING COUNTRIES
Made a great effort to get myself out of toxic situations and relationships.
Being able to talk and dream about things and ideas with brilliant and inspiring people.
Making a greater effort in doing the things I believe in and support.
Standing up for myself more.
Fitting back into my favorite pair of jeans before they broke (unrelated to fit of lack of it thereof - it actually fit me perfectly before it busted).
Fully realizing how easily peoples' moods around me greatly affect me, and that I need to avoid those who are negative, and surround myself with those who are positive.

I'll take that. Though I'll be happy to see the end of this year as I look forward to this new one.

I'd like to read more.
I'd like to create more.
I'd like to make a greater effort to utilize and learn the digital darkroom.
I'd like to truly appreciate digital photography for what it has to offer.
I'd like to write more.
I want to be greener.
I want to be healthier.
I want to run in my park.
I want to be more active in the communities/causes I support.
I want to be more efficient with my time.
I want to run a marathon.
I want to work with my hands.
I want to take more used coffee grounds from Starbucks and use them.
I want to save money so I can go places.
I should use my Disney points I've saved up and use the miles I've earned (maybe).
I want to get my bike fix and actually use it.
I should make a better effort cooking again.
I still want to spend an entire night not sleeping and spending that time with people.
I want to reconnect with those who love and inspire me, and maintain connection with the ones I am connected to.
I need to be more patient.
I have to be better to myself.
I need some fine wine and...need to be nicer
I need to fall in love with music again.
I need to obsess over more things and use that to inspire me.
I need to go to the Huntington more.
I want to talk to people.
I want to be more personable.

It's a much bigger bite than I can chew, but I guess I can see how far I can get. I've got a few days, right?

My Friends Love Me(....?)

A conversation in an elevator going from the 13th floor to the ground level.

Me: ...and I'm really happy to have seen my friend there!
F1: [pouts] Why do you have to have other friends?
Me: We went to college together!
F2: But she's not as close to you as we are.
Me: True, but she knew me before I met you guys.
F1: So?
Me: We've danced together!
F1: SO?
Me: We've probably been naked together.
F1: Oh.
F2: Now I'm jealous.

...and I love my friends.

...Is it Just Me?

...or does the term "car czar" make you think of a Pokemon?

JUS DO EET!

moar funny pictures

Heaven is a Place on Earth.

...and it's not that far from my house.

CARNITAS MICHOACAN!

It's wise to listen to the Mexican (sorry, Mexican-Americans, he has the leg up on y'all) when he tells you that the al pastor is good that night. When he says so, just to for it.

I'm dead tired but all I wish is for this burrito (of which I just took an amazing bite of a nice, large, crispy slice of the meat in my mouth to feed my happy tumms) to last forever because it's probably the best tasting thing I remember eating in a long, long, long, long time.

No, I'm not exaggerating and I'm not drunk (yeah, I'm not).

This is good stuff, and if it wouldn't make a mess or cause me to break out, I'd sleep with this thing right next to my face to just take in its amazingness.

"Selling Out"

I'm going to try not to get all music snob right now, but I'm going to be talking about music, and that always runs the risk of that happening.

Ready?

I've liked the group, The Submarines for some time before iPhone decided to let their cute little ditty play all over the 3G commercials.

I don't have a TV in my house, but I've been watching enough of it to know...and you know, too:
Yeah, that one.

Now, I have to be careful here, because I've had a former bestest friend in the world who HATED to talk music with me, because he had this crazy notion that he thought that I thought I was the alpha and omega when it came about talking about music, and he thought that so strongly that he even told other people that I was as well, so when I talked music with them, they would tell me that they were otherwise warned that talking music with Mz. Muzak-Can't-be-Wrong is just an uphill battle.

I could never say that about myself. All I can say is that I'm very passionate about music when you get me in my musical element, that's all.

That said, I'll now say this:
What I don't like about the commercials is that they just use the instrumental track and don't even use the vox, which make me really sad. That's because I really like that song and I actually do get excited when those commercials come on, only without the vocals and it makes me sad and makes me want to fill in for her cute, raspy voice, and well frankly, it's just not the same.

...and no, I'm not all bent out of shape that Apple is using their music, thus cheapening the music for their real fans. Please. Just like I can't get all upset that they're using Muse clips during the Olympics and the like.

Now I'll say this:
How can you not love LA with all the amazing music that comes out of here? I mean, sure, there's TONS of amazing music that's being made, a lot of them NOT coming from LA, but you have to admit, there's like something in the water that makes for good music from these parts (Thanks, Mr. Mulholland and Northern California!). Yes...wanna know how good it is? It's so good that when I'm in Salzburg, A Fine Frenzy will be playing there and how cool would it be to see a local act on the other side of the world?

We're good.


...maybe I won't end this entry on such a downer, so I'll leave it with this instead:

No, these guys aren't from LA (the water's not THAT good around here), they're from Brooklyn. And if you haven't already, you should really see the official music video for this song (No embedding allowed for this one).

Maybe I've Been Living in a Fashion Cave.

I won't hide it but I like and I'll tell you I'm subscribed to the American Apparel newsletter.

It's pretty entertaining, I'll tell you that much...kind of like the one the sent on Super Tuesday persuading their readers to vote for Hilary Clinton if they're Democrat-leaning, and for McCain if they're Republican-slanted.

But this one has be slightly baffled:

I never thought ties to be gender-specific. Sure, the ladies never really wore them regularly in the past as men have, but are the gender-specific ties any different? are the button and button holes on different sides like jeans and shirts? Different silhouette?

If anyone can help me unravel this mystery, I'm more than happy to learn.

Topical on the Toilet

Though I noticed that the toilet at my parents' "small bathroom" was a little wobbly once sat upon, I never realized that the thing was actually sinking through the tile and wood below, as the house apparently was slowly trying to digest it.

So my dad made this sign.

My sister was asked to add that last little bit - I'm going out on a limb here, but I don't think Obama's approval stamp got on this one just yet.

Coincidence?

I'm currently listening to (or was, up until Coincidence #2 called) the Presidential Debate on KCRW (Shameless plug) via iTunes when I guess the stream crapped out, which made iTunes went to the "next track" and started playing the below song (though a cover):



Have you made up your mind?

Coincidence #3: I think it may have been about this time last year (Yes, I'm not going to check because I'm lazy and the fact that I'm writing this at work when I've been off the clock for 20 minutes now makes me wonder why I'm even writing this right now) that I posted this very same song on my blog. Only it didn't have some Cary Grant theme to it and just had a whole bunch of pictures of hippies.

#4 for now.

In the efforts to get this "7 Things You May Not Know about Me" thing actually accomplished, I will skip the previously half-written passionspiel I was working on and just lost steam midway (Okay, I had to look at something else and then lost the zeal for it) and replace it with something else that's a lot less interesting, but generally unknown about me.

I tend to sleep in tree position on a semi-regular basis.


...kinda like this, but much without the arms part. I also tend to place my foot at the other leg's knee to create as an evenly-sided area as possible.

That's because after having slept with my man-cat during the cooler times, he likes to sleep in little areas where he's surrounded by warmth, and by making a little nest with my legs, he's a happy boy.

The things I do for cuddles. I just can't resist.

Heute

The word I kept wanting to use but kept forgetting it until now when I can't even use it: insecure.

Und heute habe ich zwei Tickets für ein Fußbalspiel gekauft. Alles war auf deutsch; ein bißchen ängstlich. Die Tickets sind ein bißchen teuer, ich habe die im Euro bezhalt. Schmerz! Das Spiel ist am 25 Nov und wir sehen FC Bayern München zu spielen. Sie sind ein weltbekannte Fußbalteam! GEIL!



Ich bin sehr aufregend, aber alles andere ist jetzt ein bißchen traurig für mich. Kein Problem, das ist mein Leben.

50 Tage bis meine München Urlaub. Ich soll meine deutsch mehr üben.

Quote of the...Ever.

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
-Oscar Wilde

2008.09.20 - It goes to show how little I actually go and write and visit my blog - I didn't even notice this quote that I emailed to post was virtually invisible. Kudos to those probably now two readers of this blog who knew how to read it, but just to be nice, I made it so it could actually be read. All the coding that was part of the original entry was such a joke, especially there really wasn't much there.

Going to Hell?

I'm not an atheist, so imagine my surprise last night when I came very close to chopping off my thumb and thought to myself, "Thank evolution for fingernails!"

I don't know why I didn't think to myself "Thank God for fingernails!," but at that moment of thumb-sparing, the former phrase seemed to make more sense to me.

Am I going to Hell?

Or have these sound bytes from Sarah Palin and her super Evangelical speakings have scared me a bit?

The Woes of the Asian American Artist

...for the most part, I should be more specific and focus on one big woe.

If you are Asian American with an artistic slant, or are very familiar and/or good friends with one, you would know that Woe Number One would be what our parents think about it.

I'm sure with more time, I could think of something else that could be more heartbreaking than having your child want to be an artist that wouldn't be very racist to write. Stripper/porn star isn't worse - they make pretty good money, and that would, at the very least, mean that your child is marginally good-looking and/or well-endowed enough to make the cut, and if you want to play the stereotype card, that would also entail the fact that your child has broken the norm.

Think about it - how many films are based on the wildly successful and/or colorful life of an Asian or Asian American artist? Do we have our own Caravaggio that we can be talk about? Okay, I'm sure there was some homosexual artist somewhere in Asia that went around fightin' and stabbin' people, but again, but with not enough acclaim and notoriety with which to make a film.

No, I'm not writing this entry to look for pity. In fact, since Asian American artist folk by nature will have a pretty thick skin from facing his/her parents and telling them that you want to be an artist (I'm sure that Sean Lennon didn't have such a problem, but I don't know if I'd want Yoko Ono as a mom, myself), there are several resilient and talented Asian-Am artists that have done well for themselves and have lived to tell the tale. Prince Gomolvilas has survived the ULTIMATE GUILT and has made a pretty nice career as a writer/performer, and has written an article on how to deftly follow your dreams while escaping the parental guilt (preview: yes, it involves lies and hiding stuff).

Now I'm not saying that secrets and lies are the way to go (though I'm also not not saying that that's not the way to go), but from my point of view, taking those measures aren't really that hard to achieve, especially when sometimes, your parents may not just "get it." That's not to say that my parents are inept to interpretation, but they just don't have the same sort of aesthetic as the things I've created, and I guess we'd have to agree to disagree.

...and behind my back, they may be talking about my wasting my life away on very confusing things...

BLOGARGH

I've come to realize that my blog layout is for some reason, all ways wonky. The sidebar stuff is all the way to the bottom, and when I try to see if it's set incorrectly, the layout template says it's all good. But it's not. Oh well. I guess with more time, I can tinker with some settings, as I have a redesign in mind anyway. Too bad I'm very rusty in my code.

I don't think that anyone would notice, including my lack of writing my morning rambles. I won't lie and say that I've been doing them all every day on a paper notebook, for I have missed a day or two here and there, but I have made the jump from using this blog as a sounding board to the pen and paper realm. I really do miss writing, but then again, I also miss doing lots of things, like reading books, writing more, having time to take non-cat pictures during daylight, playing Mario Kart, etc. But I guess life just sometimes has to make us make priorities. Damn priorities.

Even though it seemed I had a giant creative spike last week, I think I'm still riding on that, but on a much smaller wave. I should be more diligent on my writing, and after spending an entire week photographing kitties, I decided to get the hell out of dodge and take pictures in places that had much nicer weather and very nice views (I took some pics of the long, hot period from when I was in Silverlake for Sunset Junction, and that was a wash). I have continued to photograph this week, but on a much smaller scale - I've been taking pictures of things I've been eating a of late, including my semi-impulsive meal at McDonald's and my sister's homemade bibimbop. I actually haven't spent much time on my own computer this week, which is why I haven't downloaded the images, and thus created some good blogging material that's a bit different from my daily ramblings.

Methinks that when I redesign my blog page, I'll use one of my newer images. Not that I love this image of the truck I took ages ago, but I'm thinking I should go for something a bit...cheerier.

Joke of the Day

Did I just hear right? Is Microsoft really paying Jerry Seinfeld $10 million to help give street cred to the Windows Vista platform?!?!?

Wow. What a waste of money. That's just like having Charlton Heston run around telling people that firearms for all is a good idea. Oh wait...