Getting Old

Guest Poster: Worf

 "The indignity of it!" I angrily say as I storm back into the quarters that my wife Jadzia Dax and I share.

"Whatever has happened, Worfie?" she asks me, and gently rubs the bruises that I have.

"For the first time, I have been defeated by a WOMAN in a skilled competition. The Enterprise martial arts tournament was taking place and I was drawn against Jennifer Baxter."

"Oh dear..." Jadzia says quietly.

"Yes, well I thought she might be slightly tougher than the average woman, but still an easy victory." I tell her, "Anyway, before I know it, I was on the floor and Jennifer was victorious.."

"Oh dear..."she repeats,  "Well, Jenny is a trained fighter, and works out every day. She is toned, muscular and has taken on many in the past."


"Granted." I answer, "But she still should have been defeated by me!"

"Maybe err..." Jadzia hesitantly suggests, "Maybe you're getting a little old for that sort of thing? Jenny is young and fit, while you have been doing it for a while."

I am livid.

"Jadzia!" I exclaim, "I am a Klingon warrior, trained to fight the hardest of opponents right until old age. Klingons do NOT get old for fighting!"

"Sorry, Worfie." she answers, "Do you think you are hurt because you underestimated Jenny, and planned to gently defeat her? It sounds like she went for the quick flourish, hoping the surprise would defeat you."

"You may be right, Jadzia." I say, thinking carefully "Had we fought normally, I would have defeated Jenny easily. It is not an honourable way to win. Klingons have a Code of Honour which they abide by. Jenny does not."

I walk out again, satisfied that it was not a fair match I lost in, but think I can still hear the sound of my wife giggling as I do.

Starfleet Redundancies (Part Four)

Alyssa Ogawa, T'Pol, Lieutenant Britney, Jennifer Baxter, Jadzia Dax, Deanna Troi, Seven of Nine and myself are all in the Ready Room, holding a crisis meeting.

We have all been made redundant by Starfleet's chief Evaluator, Shredder Smith!

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"They can't do it!" Deanna shouts, "We are being persecuted."

"It's Brit and I who are being persecuted because we are gay!" comments an angry T'Pol.

"They think they are getting rid of all the dead wood." Alyssa chips in, "But we all do a vital job on the Enterprise, though some are not recognised."



"We can't let it happen." Jennifer tells us, "We have relationships with others on the ship, which would split us up. I have my Data, Jadzia has Worf, the Captain has Bev and Deanna has Will."

A lot of head nodding goes on at this.

"Look." I say, "We know the situation, but there is nothing we can do."

"How about if we take a starship and start as an independent outfit?" suggests Britney, "We could have a skull and crossbones as our emblem. You wouldn't need to have an eyepatch or have your leg off, Captain."

"Thanks!" I say drily, "However, I think you're delving into the realms of fantasy there. We can all find jobs to do when we leave Starfleet."




"As a mind reader, I suppose!" Deanna suggests.

"I should have guessed why you always win at poker, Deanna." Jadzia sarcastically adds.

Annika, currently in her Seven of Nine consiousness suddenly gets up, says "Enough!" and walks out of the room.

"What is that all about, Brit?" asks T'Pol.

"Search me." Britney answers, "We have more important things to sort out."

For the next fifteen minutes, we go through all solutions, such as looking through the JobGalaxy website, or opening a restaurant together, or signing on the dole.

Suddenly the door opens and Shredder Smith appears.

"Errr..." he stutteringly starts, "There has been a change of policy at Starfleet. It has been decided that no redundancies will be made at all. You will all remain in your current positions. Sorry for any difficulties that arose."

He turns around and quickly leaves. We all look puzzled. Seven of Nine/Annika returns to the room.

"Did YOU have something to do with this?" I ask.



"Seven did." she answers in her Annika voice, "She contacted the Borg Queen, who then told the President of the United Federation of Planets that the truce they had with the Borg would be torn up if the redundancies took place."

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

"We all owe Queenie a big favour." Deanna says to me as we leave the room.

"It worries me what she will want in return when we meet next!" I say.

Jenny & The Baroness (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Lieutenant Britney

With Jennifer Baxter badly injured from a laser blast, and T'Pol tending to her wounds, it's up to me to stop and capture The Baroness, the notorious jewel thief, who has eluded capture so far. She fired on Jenny while raiding a wealthy house while here on Minos III. I've got to stop her.

As I have a blueprint of the house with me, I make my way to the likeliest place she will be. The room where the safe containing all the jewels will be.



I make my way there quickly, but trying not to make a noise, as if I am sneaking back home after a late night with a hot date.



When I reach trhere, I finda black leather figure about to open the safe door.

"Hold it right there, Baroness!" I call out, "I', arresting you for multiple jewel thefts around the galaxy, and also for attempting to kill Jennifer Baxter."

The Baroness turns round and gives me a beaming smile.



"Hello, Britney, I'm so glad you came." she comments, "Have you decided to leave that lover T'Pol and join me? I hope so. You would have a much better time with me than with her, whether we are robbing jewels or alone together."

"I've come to stop you, Baroness." I remind her.

"Don't be a spoilsport." she cheerily says, "Hold this bag while I pour the jewels in them."

I throw the bag on the floor. She getsa up and kicks my Umbrella Disruptor away. Drawing her gun quickly, I manage to pull it out of her hand and throw it to the other side of the room. The Baroness runs after it, but my Disruptor is nearer.



"Hold it there, Baroness."I say, "It's the end of the line."  She stops, and surrenders.

---------------

A few hours later, the three of us witness The Baroness in chains, being taken on board a prison ship. Jenny has her leg well bandaged, but is all right.

"No prison can hold me." the prisoner boasts, "I'll be out shortly. Jenny, I'm so glad I didn't kill you. I look forward to our meetings. I also enjoyed seeing you, Britney. Kiss, kiss."

"We won't see her for a long time." T'Pol comments in disgust.

"Don't be too sure." Jenny replies, "That woman is a master manipulator. If anyone can get out, then she can."

"In which case, We'll be ready." I smile.

Jenny & The Baroness (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

I am in a shuttle heading for Minos III, where the notorious criminal The Baroness is carrying out a series of daring jewel robberies. Also with me are Britney and T'Pol who volunteered to help me. So far, all they have been doing is playing strip poker in the back while I pilot the ship!

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"Put your clothes back on, you two!" I call out, "We are approaching Minos III and will be landing shortly."

I can hear the pair of them trying to sort out which articles of clothing belong to which woman. Eventually, they get it right and come forward, just as we are landing.

"Right then." I say, "I have heard that there is a big party going on tonight, attended by all the rich people of this world. The Baroness is bound to bee there, so let's intervene and catch her in the act."



"Well let's get ready then!" declares T'Pol, who is carrying a fearful looking Distorter. Britney has her Umbrella set to 'kill' and I have my multiphase disruptor. Wearing my leather outfit, so I won't be seen easily in the dark, I'm ready to go.



------

A few hours later, we are there at the country house, patrolling the grounds from different points. I know I could do with some hot coffee in this line of work.

Suddenly I see a leather-skinned figure jumping around the roof. I know it isn't me or Batgirl.

"Baxter to Britney and T'Pol." I call on my COM, "Target is on the roof. Meet me there!"

It only takes a few moments to climb a drainpipe, jump on to a lower roof, then on to the higher one.

"Stop right there, Baroness!" I yell, "I've got you this time!"



"Well, well." sneers The Baroness, in her best evil villainess tone, "If it isn't my friend Jennifer Baxter. Have you come to join me in the robbery? I'll split the takings 50-50. You know we'd make a great team. We are both the same type. Daring adventuresses with a liking for black leather."

"I've come for YOU." tell her coldly, "You're going to jail."

The Baroness sighs. "Last chance to join me?" I shake my head.

"What a pity." she says, and pulls out a gun before I can move. A searing heat from it hits my leg and I go down screaming. The Baroness leaps away, entering the house.

In a few moments, Britney and T'Pol come upon me, looking horrified.

"She's losing blood rapidly." diagnoses T'Pol quickly, "Jenny won't last much longer. Fortunately, I have some first aid with me and should be able to stem the bleeding. Britney...you go after The Baroness...but be careful!"

To be continued.....

Jenny & The Baroness (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

"I must say." Data informs me in our quarters, "That you have become rather obsessive about catching the female criminal known as The Baroness."

"No one is going to get away from me, Data." I reply, "I had almost caught her on that planet. No leather-clad crook is going to get away from me."



"I have noticed you looking through the computer files and copies of The Galactic Gazette for any clues as to her whereabouts." he informs me.

"So what if I have?" I retort, "I'm not going to let here beat me! What's this?"

I suddenly see a headline: 'Daring jewelry robbery on Minos III. Priceless diamonds and emeralds stolen. No clues as to thief, but witnesses saw a figure in black leather jumping from the rooftops.'

"That's The Baroness!" I yell out, "I'm coming to nab you, honey!"

When I explain the situation to Captain Picard, his reaction is predictable.

"There are no positive sightings of The Baroness, Lieutenant." he says, "So we cannot divert the Enterprise to Minos III on a suspicion."

"Well send me out in a shuttle." I say in frustration, "She's one of the most wanted criminals there is."

The Captain sighs and agrees. At this moment, Britney and T'Pol burst in, who had obviously been listening at the door, as they fell on the floor, and were both holding glass cups.



"Can we come too?" they both say, "You'll need us to catch The Baroness."

"No!" I reply, "You'll cramp my style. I work better alone"

"I think it might be better if Britney and T'Pol go with you, Lieutenant." the Captain decides, "It's just too dangerous for you to go on your own."

"Yay!" Britney shouts, and I roll my eyes.

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Half an hour later, I am in my leather outfit, piloting the shuttle, bound for Minos III. Behind me are an assortment of weapons, including my multiphase disruptor. Britney and T'Pol are playing strip poker.

They are supposed to protect me?

To be continued after the TWQ...

Communication Breakdown (Part Two)

Right now, everything is in disarray throughout the Federation, and here on the Enterprise. Various races cannot talk to each other with the breakdown of the Universal Translator. Communication between all ships has broken down. This occured because Admiral Nakamura insisted a new and so-called improved system be fitted in.

We all know what the  result of this would be!

Riker, Data, Beverly and I gather together along with all the staff who can speak English. Deanna is with us. Although she usually speaks in Betazoid through the Translator, she knows enough of our language.



"What are we going to do, Captain." she says, although it tends to come out as "What um we do Cap?" in her attempt to speak English.

"I'm not sure yet." I answer, "It looks like it'll be down to us to save everything again."

"It appears thart the entire system was short circuited by the influx of information that was downloaded into it." analyses Data, "As a result, the memory bank of languages in the Universal Translator was deleted. and communications between ships failed as a result."



"That's a huge loss" Annika comments, then in her Seven voice gruffly says, "Who did this should be assimilated."

"Sorry about that." apologises, Annika, "Although I'm in agreement with my other self on this. It's a massive mistake that wasn't tested before."

"Actually, there may well be an answer." Data ventures to say, "If I download all my communication knowledge into the empty Universal Translator, it should restore things. My positronic brain has the vocabulary of every language in existance."

"No!" cries out Jennifer Baxter, "You can't do this, Data!"

"It sounds dangerous, Mr Data." I warn him, "Such a copy would be huge and may damage both you and the Universal Translator."

"There doesn't seem to be an alternative solution, Captain." Riker reminds me.

As a result, we get ready to open the circuit to Data's head.



"Are you ready, Data.?"asks Geordi, who flips the lid of his friend's head up like he is about to look at a car engine. He attaches a long wire to the Universal Translator computer and flicks the switch,.

Immediately, Data's eyes start revoilving around,  and starts babbling away in various languages I've never heard before. After about five minutes, he comes to a halt and his eyes stop moving.

"Are you all right, Mr Data?" I ask hesitatingly.

He starts:

"Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was snow, and everywhere that Mary went, that lamb was sure to ...Q'Pla!" Her carries on saying languages at the same speed he did earlier, with his eyes going round. Eventually he stops again.

"Data?"

He opens his eyes.

"Hello, Captain. I trust it was all successful. Hello Jennifer. Why are you looking so pleased?"

"Yeah, that's Data all right." Geordi comments sarcastically.

Communication has been restored throughout the Federation, and the Universal Translator is restored. It's a pleasure to hear Worf and Deanna clearly..

Hopefully, whoever suggested the update is being well and truly carpeted by the President of the Federation!

The Assassination Attempt (Part One)

Guest Poster: Seven Of Nine

"You must be careful, Seven." the Borg Queen warns me while our minds are linked during my regeneration period in my alcove, "With the information we have received, the secret group Section 31 are starting to create a war between as and the humans after I formulated the peace treaty. You could be a prime target."

"I understand, my Queen." I reply, "I will be vigilant and set my phaser to kill and fire if someone as much as sneezes in my direction."



"Don't be TOO trigger-happy, Seven." my leader advises me, "Locutus says he will try and protect you as much as he can."

"I can protect myself!" I crossly say.

"You may think so." she continues, "But you can never tell where Section 31 personel have infiltrated. They could be behind any corner."

"I understand, my Queen." I tell her, and swich off the connection, about to leave my alcove.

Protection is irrelevent. Anyone who threatens me will be assimilated.

I walk out of the cargo bay, where I am joined by two burly security guards.

"Just for your protection. ma'am." one of them mutters, "Captain Picard is ordering that we stay with you at all times."

I get irritated. "I am going to see Locutus to order him to put you two human gorillas back in your cages."

As I stride towards the turbolift. a third security officer appears.

"Another one!" I bark out, "Don't you people have anything else to do?"



"I'm Lieutenant Jono." the third officer informs us, "I have arrived on the Enterprise, put of the security detail and ordered to replace you two."

"Lieutenant Commander Worf has not informed us of any changes in the detail." one of my security men informs him, "Show me your orders."

"Certainly." Jono replies with a sardonic smile, and gets something out of his pocket. All too quickly, we see it is a phaser set to 'kill'. This is hardly not relevent!

With two zaps, my security men are disposed as as fast as if they were wearing red shirts.

"And now you, Borg infiltrator!" Jono cries out, "A message from the people of Section 31."

My Borg life seems to pass before my eyes as he lines up to fire.

"No!!" says a voice.



It's Jennifer Baxter, who looks as if she is on the way to a holodeck battle exercise. She raises her multiphase disruptor and turns Jono into nothingness. But it's too late; the shot has been fired. I move out of the way, so it hits the wall. However, trhe weakened beam hits me full on and I fall into an inky blackness.

To be continued.....

Britney, T'Pol & Jenny Promoted

Guest Poster: Lieutenant Britney

Yeah, that's right, I'm a Lieutenant, or at least I will be in a few moments.

Right now, there is a gathering of crew all around, with the Senior Staff bagging the front seats as usual.

Jennifer Baxter, T'Pol and me are sitting on a separate area, as it is the three of us who are gonna get promoted. Jenny is in her full dress Starfleet uniform, my girlfriend T'Pol has put her best 22nd ISS uniform on. As for me...well I'm rustled up something. At least I remembered to put my underwear on for a change, so they can't complain.

"Just what are we getting promoted for, sweetie." I whisper to T'Pol, who is sitting next to me.



"I don't know, Brit." replies the Vulcan, "Maybe you managed to stay out of the brig for more than a month?"

There is a trumpeting. Beverly Crusher comes out in her official uniform, carrying a wooden box.




She places it on the podium and opens it. There are three medals. Captain Picard then follows with his speech. I hope I get the promotion first so that I can fall asleep and not have to listen to him droning away.

"Every so often." he starts, "We see that this crew have individuals whose actions are way above what we would normally expect of them.."

It sounds like he's doing the longwinded speech. I'll switch off mentally and be back in a minute.

--------------

 "And so we now come to the medals and the promotions." after what must have been an eon. Firstly, for her work in averting a diplomatic catastrophe and stopping The Baroness, I promote Ensign Jennifer Baxter to the rank of Lieutenant."

Jenny gets up, walks over, does the salute and gets the medal pinned on. "Thank you, sir."

Data, naturally claps the loudest when the applause starts.

"Secondly" Picard continues"For her fast work in preventing a brainwashed Deanna Troi from flying the Enterprise into the sun, I promote T'Pol to the rank of Lieutenant Commander."



My girlfriend gets up and receives the medal. I give her a congratulory kiss when she returns to her seat.

"Well done, Lieutenand Commander." I say with a laugh.

"Lastly." Picard informs the assembled people, "For the great contribution she has made, such as her fight against The Dregs Of Society, finding an antidote for her friend T'Pol and err....staying out of the brig for more than a month., I promote Ensign Britney to the rank of Lieutenant."



Wearing my black wig, black mini dress and large black boots, I get up to receive my medal. Captain Picard rolls his eyes and sighs.

"Congratulations, Lieutenant Britney." he tells me as he tries to find a place on the silk dress to pin it, "Try to live up to the rank."

"Well done you two!" Jenny calls out when I return to my seat, "Shall we go to Ten Forward to celebrate?"

T'Pol and I look at each other.

"I think you'd prefer to celebrate alone with Data." I say with a smile, "T'Pol and I are going to do so in our quarters."

With that, the two of us take a couple of bottles of Galasian Champagne and head in the directions we need to go.

The Space Rift (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Data

I am currently in the shuttlecraft Galileo, and have been swallowed up by the expanding space rift that threatens the entire universe. The other side of the rift is incapable of sustaining life, which is why I am here. I am about to release an aortic energy field which may close it. If it happens suddenly, I may be trapped here. My positronic brain is under great pressure here.

--------------

The Communications network crackles.



"Galileo." it says, "This is T'Pol on Communications. Can you hear me, Data?"

"Affirmative." I reply, "I am about to release the aortic memory field." In the background, I hear my girlfriend Jennifer crying "I love you, Data."

I flick the switch, and the shuttle starts to shake. A huge energy pulse burst forth. More circuits explode on the panel. I am beginning to wonder if this is a good idea.

"Galileo." the crackly reception says. "This is Picard. Get out of there, Mr Data!"

The reception is worse than digital radio out in the hills, although I manage to ascertain what is being said. I look at my Control Panel and activate the Booster Button. I am hoping that this is not one of the circuits affected, or I am 'toast', as Ensign Britney is likely to say.

The shuttle lurches forward, and it is soom bouncing through space like the roller coaster at the Starfleet Theme Park. The stars are visible in front of me, but the rift gap is considerably smaller. Just in time, the Galileo shoots through and closes behind me.

------

"Well done, Mr Data." says the Captain, a few hours later in his Ready Room. "With your help, the Enterprise has managed to save the universe yet again."

"Yes." Commander Riker laughs, "I hope someone is keeping score on how often we do this."

I am about to answer him with a precise reply when Jennifer Baxter bursts in.



"Data, my love!" she cries, "I'm so glad you're back again. I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Nor I you, Jenny." I reply. She hugs me and almost presses my 'Off' switch, "But why are you wearing your black leather outfit? Are you going on a mission?".

"No." she answers with a laugh, "Did you forget the Underworld movie marathon is on tonight? We have ten films to sit through."

The Space Rift (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Data

I am walking towards the shuttlecraft, on what may well be a one way mission for me. A huge space rift has opened up, which may engulf the entire universe. Theoretically, the only way of closing it is to go the other side and to release an aortic energy field which will close it. The problem is that is the other side is incapable of sustaining life, it may shut off my positronic brain, or the rift may snap shut, leaving me trapped on the other side.

------------------

I climb into the craft, but hear screams behind me.



"Data, I love you." says, Jennifer Baxter, my girlfriend, "I won't be able to live without you."

"Jenny" I reply calmly, "Take it easy. I shall return before you know it. Tonight we shall cuddle on the sofa and watch the Underworld movie marathon together. I know it is your favourite."

With that, I seal the door shut, and I observe two security men leading a wailing Jennifer away.

In a few moments, the shuttlecraft is off towards the space rift.



"Computer." I ask, "How are systems?"

"All systems functioning within normal parameters."

Shortly, I approach the expanding rift.



Suddenly, there is a rush of speed, and the Galileo shuttlecraft is pulled into the rift at an alarming speed. Circuits in the shuttle start exploding. Fortunately whenever this happens on an Away Mission, they are never relevent panels.

I am knocked on the floor. When I rise, there is all blackness surrounding the craft, as if it is covered in coal dust. The stars have gone, except for a small amount in the distance. It is my only way out.

The aortic energy field needs to be activated immediately before it is too late.

To be continued....

The Space Rift (Part Two)

The universe isa in a right fix again. The Enterprise has come across a giant rift in space that is expanding at an alarming rate. Sensors and probes have shown that there are no stars, planets or lefesigns within, it looks as if the rift is incapable of supporting life. Eventually, it will grow larger than the unioverse itself and snuff out all life.
-----------

I stand up on the Bridge, and talk to the staff.

"Suggestions, anyone?" I say with gravitas. This is a last resort plea I use when I haven't a clue myself. Everyone looks around, unsure.

It's blank look time!



Seven of Nine steps forward.

"We could launch a bomb into the rift and hope it dissolves the rift."  the drone suggests.

"Hope?" Riker replies sarcastically, "It would most likely increase the rift sixe at a faster rate, like the Borg did when it invadsed the fluidic space of Species 8472."

Seven shrugs her shoulders, if that is what drones can do.

Jenny Baxter gets up



"We need to go into the rift then try and bring the pieces of space...and...and..." she stutters.

"A noble thought, Ensign." I comment, "But as the rift cannot sustain life, then all life on the Enterprise would disappear when we entered."

"Except for me, sir." Data adds, "If I were to take a shuttlecraft into the rift, I may be able to activate a aortic energy field to bring thr rift to a close."

It all sounds confusing to me, but these scientific suggestions always do. Jennifer bursts into tears at this suggestion from her android boyfriend.

"You can't go, Data!" she exclaims, "It would be a suicide mission. The rift might shut down your positronic brain, you might be closed behind the rift...you might......"

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Data states calmly, then looks at me.

I give permission for the shuttlecraft to be prepared. Data says his farewells to Jennifer, who has crumpled on the floor.

He lifts the Ensign up and says to her: "I shall be back."

To be continued after the TWQ......

Jenny Versus The Baroness (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

I'm on Taurus IV, doing an unofficial mission for Captain Picard. I'm trying to stop the Baroness from stealing valuable technology. Her real name is Anastasia Cobray, and dresses like I do in black leather. The Baroness unsucessfully tried to persauade me to team up with her in stealing things, claiming we are alike. I turned her down, and am mdetermined to stop her once and for all.

-----------

This will be the big finale, I'm sure. Now I know that top secret government technology is being housed in a warehouse, I'm going there to put paid to this woman once and for all!

When I do, I lie in wait. Fortunately I picked up fome snacks at Ted's Donut, Pizza and Burger Emporium before I got here. It could be a long night.

Mmmmm. That was delicious. I'll have to stop by and have another pizza on the way back. Hold on. I think I've heard something.

I look in my infra red glaases...something I picked up at Jeff's Spy Store. Ah, there she is...




I jump from the trees where I was hiding and land on the ground. Ouch! Remind me not to do THAT again. Quickly I pick myself up and get my multiphase disruptor and knife all ready, then rush through a small tunnel and out to surprise her.



"You're SO predictable, Jenny." purrs the Baroness, "As we are alike, I can tell everything you are going to do."

"So can I, Anastasia." I reply tartly, "Shall we spend this fight trying to read each other's mind, or settle this for good?"

"Such a pity." she smiles, "You would have been the perfect partner. Very well, Jennifer. Lets finish it."

Before she finishes, her disruptor releases a beam of energy which just grazes my arm. The pain is immense, but I'm still in one piece and not disintegrated. Villains are supposed to finish their speech before firing. Doesn't she know that?

We run towards each other and clash, knocking the disruptors out of our hands. We hit and wrestle on the ground. I have to be careful as there is a clifftop nearby. As we get near the edge, we get hold of our disruptors. Anastasia does first, but the ground beneath her crumbles and she plummets into the darkness below.



I look over a ledge nearby, but can see nothing.

-----------------

Several hours later, I am back in Captain Picard's Ready Room.He is sipping his Earl Grey, while I munch on one pf the hundred pizzas I picked at Ted's Donut, Pizza and Burger Emporium before beaming back.

"Is the Baroness dead or not, Jennifer." asks the Captain.

"I spent a while searching the ground below, sir." I reply, "There is no sign of her anywhere. It's my opinion that Anastasia Corbray has faked her death and has escaped from Taurus IV. Sooner or later, when something comes up, she'll reappear."

"Well the government of Taurus IV are happy as she has stopped stealing, but we'll be ready for her wherever the Baroness turns up." says the Captain.

"So will my disruptor." I comment, "The Baroness and I have a score to settle. There's only room for one black leather clad woman in this galaxy!"

Jenny Verus The Baroness (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

I'm now face to face with the Baroness on the planet Taurus IV. She has been robbing the authorities of valuable technology, but as the planet is not part of the Federation, so we can't officially help. However, as we need their membersdhip, the Captain has sent me down on an 'unofficial' mission to stop her. Like me, the Baroness wears a leather outfit and carries a multiphase disruptor as a weapon. However, in a small truce, she has given me an extraordinary offer...

------------

"You've GOT to be kidding!" I sneer, "Why should I ever want to join you in your crime wave. I came hear to stop you. When the next minute of this truce ends, you're gonna be history, sweetie."

"Don't kid yourself, Jennifer." the Baroness replies, "Look at us. We are identical and cut from the same cloth, and are virtually the same woman. The only thing that keeps you in the Ferderation is that walking tin can, Data."

My anger rises at this, such as when Data forgets yo put his emotion chip in.

"Data is more man than you could ever realise, Anastasia." I tell her, "He keeps me more than satisfied in our relationship."



"You have very low expectations, then, Jenny!" she laughs, "So glad you used my real first name. Does that mean you're getting to like me and we can forge an alliance."

"Forget it, Baroness." I tell her, "My major expectatrion is to see you on a mortuary slab. Twenty seconds left."

"My, such crudity, Jennifer." the Baroness sneers, "Well, I must be off. I've got som,e more shopping to do. This planet has some useful technology."

The Baroness somersaults up into the air and on to the roof. A few seconds later the truce is over, and I follow her up there, but she has gone.



Next time there won't be any truces! I'll call the coroner and book an appointment for Anastasia Cobray!

I look on my Taurus IV website. It looks like there is a powerful new weapon in storage at a warehouse, due to be tested in a couple of days. Now if I were the Baroness, thast's where I'd go next. She did say we are virtally identical women. If I start thinking like her, it's gonna be her downfall!

To be continued after the TWQ....

Jenny Versus The Baroness (Part Two)

My shuttle lands during a dark night on the planet Tarsus IV. Captain Picard has asked me to catch a female criminal named The Baroness, who is making technological robberies on the planet. The Federation refuse to help officially, as the planet is not part of their group, but we need their membership, so it is being done 'off the books' we me on a solo mission.

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I put on my black leather outfit and arm myself with my multiphase disruptor. It looks like I'll have to be careful; out there. I'm wearing the same outfit as the Baroness does. I don't want to get arrested by the authorities and thrown in the pokey!

Now where to go? If the police force here can't find this elusive woman, how am I going to.

I suddenly hear a sound behind me. I twist round.



"Welcome to Tarsus IV, Jenny!" says a soft, female voice from up above.

She must have leapt up on the roof. I follow her. It seems like the Baroness is here to welcome me. I doubt there will be drink and cakes. Anybody playing like this is going to get a mouthful of my disruptor!

"Come on out, Baroness!" I call, "We've got business to settle!"

"Actually, Jenny." says the voice, "I've got something to say to you as well, Can we have a truce for three minutes?"

"Very well." I grudgingly say, and set my alarm. In three minuites and one a second, she'll be history.

With that, a figure steps out of the shadows.



"Hello, Jenny." the woman says, "I'm the Baroness. I must say, I've always admired your style."

"Really?" I reply, noticing she is also carrying a multiphase disruptor. The woman looks so much like appearance, uniform and weapon choice, it's uncanny.

"Let's put down our disruptors and talk." says the Baroness, "I have an interesting proposition for you. Please call me Anastasia."

"I prefer not to." I gruffily answer, "I'll have to kill you soon."

The Baroness sighs.

"Very well, Jenny." she continues, "You are so much like myself, I think it would be for the benefit of us both if we joined forces and worked as a team. Together, we would be invincible!"

To be continued....

Jenny Versus The Baroness (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

I get a notification to report to Captain Picard's office. Hopefully it's nothing to do with the fact that Data and I were caught kissing and cuddling in the Ready Room while the New Year's Party was going on. Hopefully, that has been overlooked by now.

"Come!" says the Captain as I announce who I am and enter the Ready Room. I try not to blush, as the last time I was in here, I didn't exactly have my party dress completely on.



"Ah, Ensign Baxter." the Captain starts, "I need to have a word with you about something important"

"I'm sorry, sir." I start, "I had been having too much Klingon bloodwine, it was New Year's Eve and the two of us got caught up in the heat of the moment, and thought it wouldn't hurt. We have been going together for some time and..."

The Captain looks puzzled, then he realises what I've been saying.

"Oh, don't worry about that." he says, "I think most of the ship was doing the same thing then. What I need you for is a special assignment that requires your particular talents."

"Go on, sir." I say, intrigued.

"The planet Tarsus IV is not a member of the Federation, but it soon will be." he starts, "Lately, it has been the subject of a number of technological sabotages by a highly skilled individual. Legally, we cannot intervene, as they are not yet in the Federation, but the government are demanding that we do something, otherwise they will withdraw their application."



"So you want this done 'off the books', so to speak." I ask.

"Exactly." answers Picard, "They have said that this individual is a female with dark hair, wears a black leather outfit, is a top fighter with an eye for technology. Her name is Anastasia DeCobray, but she calls herself The Baroness."

"She seems very much like me." I comment.

"Yes." says the Captain, "You will be evenly matched, but this mission is highly dangerous. I can't officially sanction your going, as ity is all off the record."

"I understand." I tell him, "Once I get my black leather outfit on, and take my multiphase disruptor down to Tarsus IV, the Baroness is going to find herself dethroned."


To be continued after the TWQ..........