Blog? What Blog?

Yesterday, Lil Miss turned five years old. The night before her birthday I took out her baby book, which was also my prenatal journal and read some of the entries to her. I was surprised that I took the time to write so much in the midst of very difficult circumstances, and was pleased to relive some of those very happy moments.

That said, I have noticed that I haven't taken much time to write or journal, here or elsewhere over the past many months. And it's a shame really. I've been spending my free moments sewing for my kids and myself, maintaining important friendships or taking deep breaths... it's a very busy year for us and it's only just begun. L is in preschool this year, three days a week, which she LOVES and requires about 4.5 hrs of driving a week for me (Ugh). Also this year we are in a home school co-op which is stretching all of us in good ways. I'm teaching third grade art, and the boys are getting some subjects I don't have to teach at home. The kids have all made some nice friends, but it is one more thing on the calendar each week.

So, the blogging hiatus hasn't been due to anything bad in particular. Things are going generally well for the kids and me, just a change in circumstances that require me to be "on duty" a whole lot more than before. Unfortunately, swing dancing has been placed on the back burner for the time being, but I hope to resume my efforts in swing and Lindy Hop once again.

Where the Deer and the Antelope Play

I'm presently out in Cheyenne, Wyoming, visiting my brother and his family on F. E. Warren AFB. Last weekend it was Fort D.A. Russell Days and also the beginning of Frontier Days. It's the biggest thing that happens around here and there's a lot to do and see. So far we've watched a parade, seen civil war reenactments (I missed this because D fainted and I had to take him to the ER)*, historic house tour on base, Indian flute playing, Native American Dances, Thunderbirds Air Show, and "The Daddy of 'em All" CFD Rodeo. And there's still more to do!

*D had been tired, Johnny's kids have been sick and we (the doctor's and I) think that he was suffering the onset of a virus coupled with the heat and some dehydration. We had been watching the Trotters (a civil war horse battalion doing called manoeuvres) and been invited over to pet the horses. While I was helping L to pet a horse on it's nose, I heard a thud and D had fallen down. We quickly got someone to call 911 and then he came to. I moved him into the shade and immediately some military personnel came over with a cooler full of ice water and tried cooling him down. Within minutes the ambulance had arrived. D was able to climb on himself, but he was ashen faced and very tired. They ran tests (all negative) and gave him IV fluids and after a couple hours let us go. He's been improving each day, but the other kids have gotten the cough, gunky nose, bloodshot eyes virus from their cousins.... so we're trying to break up the activities with periods of rest.

Here are some pictures: Home on the Range
Indian Village

Six Million Dollar DAD

So dad is doing pretty well now. He's back home, moving about the lower level of the house and the upper area of the "ground" in his wheelchair. It will take a lot of physical therapy and another surgery to get him back to full mobility. We learned this week that he will need a new shoulder. I have a joke with my kids when they get hurt that I ask them if I need to go to the ____(fill in the hurt body part) and get them a new _______(body part). Usually this makes them laugh, but if it doesn't, I suggest that we'd better hurry in case they run out of the little kid parts, and we get stuck with hairy man parts and then I get a little chuckle. Well, I had no idea you could actually get a new shoulder! It's pretty cool, really, but will be a major surgery and can't happen until dad is ambulatory perhaps in a few months. When all is done, my dad will have lots of metal in him... not sure if his surgeries and care will total six mill, but it's getting close to one.

"Gentleman, we can rebuild him....better, stronger...."

Nothing Spectacular

I've been reflective lately. Autumn has that effect on me. It's something about the way the sunlight flickers through the wind blown leaves, casting shadows and dancing orbs of light on the floor. I could watch this for hours just thinking about things.

Lately my thoughts dwell on my imperfections and the great shortcomings I'm noticing in myself. I wonder why my passions don't always align with my beliefs and vice-versa. (I am praying for more continuity in these things.) I'm wanting to be better at what God has called me to be, and I'm still trying to discern what I'm supposed to do with this life I've been given. I continue to feel tension between believing home schooling to be the best option for my children, and a desire to have them in school so I can pursue meaningful, full time, gainful employment to be a better financial provider. (This could just be a pride vs humility thing.) It seems that whenever this doubt grows to the point of where I'm on the cusp of acting on it, some sort of encouragement comes from an unexpected source. That usually gives me enough momentum to carry on another day or week or month until the doubt wells up again.

Today, while the kids were with their dad, I got to sleep in after a late night of swing dancing and apres diner chow down. I managed to do the grocery shopping, run an errand, do some housework and get dinner underway before my munchkins came home.

As we sat down to dinner, my heart was bursting with love for those three little people... just seeing their faces around the table, having them home safe again... "I love you guys," I said hoping that it sinks in all the way down to those hard places inside of them that will surface in the next five to ten years. I don't ever want to take that for granted. It makes me think of that scene from "Our Town" when whats-her-face gets to go back and see one day of her life. She's told to pick an ordinary day, because that will be hard enough. It was an ordinary moment, but I shall treasure it.

The children didn't like what I had prepared for dinner which I thought was one of their favorite dishes. I guess their tastes have changed since last time I fixed cranberry meat balls and rice. Oh well. When I asked them what they had eaten today at their dad's, they said, "Cereal, bacon and cheese. ...Oh and smoothies." Yep, that's him alright. Their father thinks of bacon as "the pink vegetable." So I didn't force them to eat the meal. They had some carrots and fruit to make up for the forgotten food group and we were all content.

Summer on the hill

The hill on which I am blessed to live.

L and D in the coop holding "their" chicks.

The playset. (Action figures sold separately.)

Cherry picking

A birthday dress-up "no boys" tea party. (The bunny is mine.)

I'm still not in the mood to write much at length here but I thought I put up a few pictures from when all the family was gathered together.

*Still waiting on the Greek wedding pictures.

Blessing

I'm still waiting for the pictures so I can post them with my Greek wedding entry....thanks for your patience. (Notice the new profile pic? That's me in the car coming home from the wedding. I stopped by the bride's condo and saw some of the wedding pics her photographer took, they look promising, I hope she emails me some soon.)

Other reasons for not posting, well, I've just not really felt like it. Sometimes this happens to bloggers, and it happens to me, usually when the weather warms. A little seasonal depression I think. You see the anniversaries of my wedding and divorce are less than a week apart. This year I realized that not only is my divorce day 6-6-06, but it's also "D-Day"...that's kind of a strange coincidence, don't you think? Anyhow, I think it's beginning to lift. I'll know better after things calm down around here.

I'm sorry to say the baby bunnies have eaten all our sugar snap peas (planted twice!) and strawberries this spring...This is because Jasmine, our cat, passed away earlier this year. She was almost 17 years old and the best darned cat I've ever had. But my mom is also tired of all the baby bunnies, chipmunks and other varmints running wild here (spreading ticks and eating everything), so she finally agreed to get a kitten and brought one home on Friday. Mom named her "Segen", which means "blessing" in German. She's a sprightly little tabby cat with a white chin. We absolutely love her!

Both my brother and sister's families are here this week, so it's kinda busy round here. Just this afternoon I had 11 of the 13 children in my living room watching Charlotte's Web. It seems the days are filled with making food, cleaning up dishes and providing entertaining ideas to keep kids busy. There is a lot for kids to enjoy up here. Just this year we were given a swing/play set and I also got a horsey tire swing for my kids with some gifted Christmas money. My dad (still recovering from Lyme's) also put up another tire swing which hangs on a very long rope from a very tall tree and provides a very satisfying ride. There are cherries to pick, bikes to ride, scooters to scoot.... a sandbox, wading pool, and lots of driveway for chalk drawings. Yesterday I organized some water balloon volley ball, and a water balloon fight. Great fun! My kids aren't going to know what to do with themselves when all their cousins leave.