Oh Hi There How Are Ya?

Has it really been almost two months since I last blogged? I can't believe it! I've thought about blogging a lot, actualy, and I think I need to be better at making a record of Olivia's developments and life. Yet I feel so tired all the time that I don't want to blog, or do much of anything else for that matter. How lame is that?!

Wel this is the raw version of what I've been up to:

I don't know if it's still PPD but I'm just exhausted... all... the... time. It feels like I use all the energy and physical strength I have to wake up and go to work and after that I am DONE. I lay on the couch and let Olivia play around waiting for her nap time to come, counting the minutes, the seconds. Even if she's not tired I put her in her crib and hope for the best. I nap too. I usually wake up from a nap feeling sick to my stomach but if I don't nap I don't want to leave the couch. Nausea, headache, muscle ache... where in the heck is all that coming from??? The cycle repeats itself until her bedtime. If Trevor is not working we might go out on a little walk or make dinner together. If it's just me and Olivia I call or text most the friends who live around here, asking who wants to hang out, to go to the mall, to walmart, ANYWHERE. Maybe if I get out of the house I won't feel as crapy? It usually works. So I am sorry I am a lazy bum recently, I'll try to do better.

But of course there are good days too! Olivia is the joy in our lives and she just makes us smile all the time! Today something really funny happened. She likes to put her hands on her face to hide her eyes as we ask "where's Olivia?" then she takes one hand off and we say "there she is!" or "picaboo!" and she giggles and giggles. Well today we were outside a little bit and I think she got tired. We came back inside and she was playing with her best friend and cousin Maya and then she sat down... she put her hands on her face and sat there... After a while Trevor started asking "where's Olivia?" to no response. Then Kat said "Is she praying??" and Trevor went closer and touched her and her upper body tipped over her legs. SHE HAD FALLEN ASLEEP! hahahahahah How funny is THAT? Love it! I wish I had taken a picture! I went there and brough her to bed. My sleepy and cute thing!

She is almost 14 months now. She walks everywhere! And dances, and "talks." The walking was also a funny thing. I think she started standing when she was 7 or 8 months and she would take one to three steps when she was about 11 months but never more than that. We had her bday party a week after she turned 1 and later that day she was walking EVERYWHERE! It was so weird! Both Trevor and I were looking at her in awe! Isn't it funny how those things happen from night to day?

So lets update you in pictures.

Here is March:

This was the invitation for her bday party.
I copied the idea from the TomKatStudio blog
and my friend Helga put it together. Isn't it cute?

Trevor stuck her face on the bday cake.
She spent the rest of the time licking herself like a little cat, so cute!
It was also the first time she had sugar... so you can imagine the diaper after that.

All cleaned up and wearing one of her new outfits and posing with mommy.
There are more pics of the party on our facebook.
I love this girl!

What are you laughing at? It's hard to walk or crawl at the pool!
(Lehi Legacy Center, AWESOME warm pool area!)

Here is April:

Easter. My grandma sent the tshirt that says "My 1st Easter"
in Portuguese and those are Brazilian Easter chocolate eggs. Yummie!

Going shopping.

Going shopping again.

Post piggy tail hair.

Big smile.Another big smile.

First time at a theatre performance. She did pretty good!

Gossiping away on my cellphone.

First time hiking the Y this summer.
There'll be more hikes to come.
She LOVED her backpack carrier!

Parent-Tot swimming classes at the Provo Rec Center.
She LOVES it!

As for May, I'll do it another time. This blogger is taking for-freakin-ever to upload pictures today. Or is it all the time? Anyway...

This girl is the love of our lives. She is amazing! We love her, so freakin much! You can also see some fun videos here.

What have you been up to? What are your plans for this Summer?

No Post Title, Just Feelings

Dear Olivia,

It is 7:27pm right now, Monday March 22, 2010. I am finally starting to feel better from a weekend full of stomach flu and am on the couch, watching Dancing with the Stars, while you stand next to my legs watching it as well. You just took a few steps from the couch towards the tv and as people on the screen started applauding the latest performance, you did the same. You are so cute and funny, it kills me!

Remember when you were in Heaven trying to decide what family you would come to and you chose Trevor and me? I sometimes wonder what drove you into that decision. Why us? Do you know why sometimes when I cuddle you to sleep I just look at you wondering what lullaby to sing next? I can't think of one because none really describes the amount of love I have for you, none is as sweet as your eyes, as comforting as your smile. Will you always remember that I love you with all my heart, that I would die for you, kill for you, walk on fire for you, go to hell and back for you?

I hope you know that. I hope you can feel it. It's been one year now since you've graced us with your presence, your sweet loving presence. You have learned to smile, to giggle and to laugh, you have learned to sit up, you respond to the name we gave you and you have spit up on us more times than we can count. You have learned a few cute sounds, you have started walking, you know who dada and mamae are, you like to turn the tv on and off with your tongue, you love to give us wet kisses, you also have the stinkiest poopy diapers on earth! You love going on walks, you have lots of fun on the swing at the park and you actually enjoy being at the daycare at the gym while your mama works out. You love your family, you're such a sweet delicate girl, you love to cuddle and we love to cuddle with you.

You have changed so much since you were born. That skinny fragile infant is not among us anymore. Your once straight black hair is now light brown and wavy. You have your grandpa Windhorst's hazel eyes and your mamae's nose. You also inherited your mamae's pudge belly and the butt... well that's a fight between your dada and your grandma Vila Nova. You surely have your dada's thick and strong thighs, which is the reason why only 18 month-old pants fit you right now. You have a beautiful natural tan that lots of people pay big bucks to have. You love to dance, you even dance to Law and Order's theme song! You're not a fan of movies but you seem to be hypnotized when Baby Signs is on. I love them too. You also love to eat, but mama is staying strong in her goal to not let you have junks or sweets until you're old enough to want them yourself. You are your dada's pride and he loves how obedient you are. You know your smile can get you whatever you want from your mamae but when dada means business, you listen. We love that about you.

We want to wish you a happy first year of life, Olivia. We pray that there will be many more to come! We want you to know that we could not be happier to have you in our family. You might grow to be our only child and we will do our best to provide you with the best opportunities there are in life. We might not give you brand name clothing - actually you already wear hand-me-downs. We might not buy you the latest generation electronics - heck, we are probably the only people on earth who don't have a flat screen tv. We will probably make you work and save money to buy your first car. But this we promise you: we will provide you with the best education and hope that you will love learning and languages and books as much as we do. We will take you to the parks, we will teach you to love and respect nature, we will make sure you visit your family and make good friends with them, we will try to teach you good work ethics and we will show you by example the goodness in being honest and the blessings that come from serving the Lord. We will be there to catch you each time you fall, we'll always have bandaids available and we will help mend those broken hearts. We will help dry your tears and we will hopefully be a reason for you to smile. We will do and be those things and much more because we love you, and we we could not love you any less!

Feliz Aniversario Meu Amor!

Mama e Dada

My Christmas Started 9 Months Ago...

When this stuff was born:

and today she is the main thing that keeps me going.

My love for her is impossible to measure,

to describe, to explain.

Her smell makes me warm and her giggles light my day.

Happy 9 Months Birthday, Olivinha!

Mamae te ama, tanto tanto tanto!

(Born March 21 2009, 6lbs 10oz 20in. 9 months later 22lbs 5oz 28.4in)

5 Months Ago...

I woke up like this:

And after an exhausting but worthwhile battle,

I was given this:

And it was the.happiest.day.ofmylife!

And now I get to enjoy beauty like this:

And cuddle times like these:

I don't think there's a blessing bigger than this!

Do you?

I Think I Know Why Some Women Keep Having Children

It's gotta be because of this:

So warm,
so cuddly,
so sweet,
so heavenly,
so precious,
so sacred,
so special,
so unforgetable...



Is that why?

She Makes Me Cry

Of joy!

It is 3:30am on Sunday and I am up. I just washed some of Olivia's clothes, by hand, then got her diaper bag ready for church and other events today. I washed and sterelized all of her bottles and put aside the formula she will eat today. I filled in her feeding and potty chart and separated the dress she is going to wear to church. It is 3:30am and I am up, not for me, but for my daughter.

Imagine this: you're running errands, or with friends, or at your inlaws', or just sitting on the couch giving your baby a bottle, and then you look at her, and just... overwhelming love takes over and you start crying. Did this ever happen to you???

It has happened to me a lot lately. I love my baby SO MUCH! I don't want her to grow as fast as she is groing,! What the heck?! Why can't babies stay newborn forever???

Last week I was at a friend's wedding and they had music playing... One of the songs was "From This Moment On" by Shania Twain. I know it's supposed to be a romantic song that lovers will sing to each other, but when it got to the part "From this moment as long as I live, I will love you, I promise you this, there is nothing I wouldn't give, from this moment on..." I started crying! I was holding Olivia and she was sleeping like an angel and that song talks about unconditional love, which I now understand, and I just wanted time to freeze so I could hold her forever and ever!

Just thinking about it and hearing that song in my head right now gives me goosebumps and brings tears to my eyes again.

(I do swear that I'll always be there.
I'd give anything and everything and I will always care.
Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow,
for better for worse, I will love you withevery beat of my heart.)

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on
From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on
You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this momentI will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

I had no idea being a mother was so amazing! Did you?