Do One Thing! Book Review

I have two book suggestions for you to think about. I like them both. The first is:

"It Wasn't Raining When Noah Built The Ark - Family Preparedness Hints" by Tami Girsberger

Tami's book is a small 5x5 inch guide to gathering and storing those things we may need in the event of an emergency. It's small, but pretty thorough! 162 pages filled with ideas and instruction for preparing our home, vehicle, office, first aid kit, family finances, water, food, cooking without electricity, sheltering, staying warm, and on and on! She tells how to build stoves and toilets! (I could have used this that summer the septic tank decided it needed to be replaced!) She encourages engaging our block/neighbors in preparedness and to become a CERT volunteer for 'after the fact' service in your community, and she lists by state Government Emergency Agencies.

Tami writes in a very easy to read manner and most of her chapters are about four pages (two if they were in average book size). A lot of things to think about.

The second book is:

"12 STEPS To Build Your Own Personal Ark - A Simple and Inexpensive Guide to Food Storage and Family Preparedness" by Emily Freeman

Emily also has a small booklet type book with great information. Her 5x7 inch, 23 page book has a monthly system to obtain a year's supply of food essential for two persons in a 12 month period. She gives FHEa lesson ideas, motivational quotes, and exact numbers of supplies to acquire each month. She also includes additional information if you choose to do more than the basics. Emily includes simple charts to check your progress. Emily's writing is also very easy going and motivating.

Both of these books are discussing the same subject, but with completely different focus. Tami's is an overall basic home and family prep; while Emily's is just basic food storage. I feel both are excellent resources and both can add to our education of what and how we need to prepare.

I purchased these books for myself and for each of our 5 children, so they too, could begin to prepare in their families. This would make a good gift! One or both of the books in a backpack to be filled by the recipient as a 72 hour kit, or on top of a case of canned peaches or whatever. Think about it.

a - FHE: Family Home Evening. A once a week family gathering where parents and children learn together, play and generally have fun with each other exclusively, focusing on the family. Lessons, activities, field trips, and 'treats!', etc. are typical for FHE.

It Wasn't Raining When Noah Built The Ark - Family Preparedness Hints, by Tami Girsberger, Leatherwood Press (sold exclusively at Deseret Book or at Leatherwood Press.com) $12.95

12 STEPS To Build Your Own Personal Ark - A Simple and Inexpensive Guide to Food Storage and Family Preparedness, by Emily Freeman, Sound Concepts, Inc. 15 East 400 South, Orem, UT 84058 (I ordered this booklet through a Deseret Book distributor) $7.95

FHE (or whatever you need) Peg Chart

During Relief Society last month we had an Enrichment Nighta focusing on clever ways to spruce up your Family Home Eveningb. One of the gals went to the local lumber shop, bought a plank of pine, and had the Bishop's wife saw it into small 2 foot boards for us. (that Bishop's wife is pretty crafty!) So we came up with a cute way to paint the Family Home Evening jobs.

I was busy helping the ladies paint so I just paid for my boards and came home. I just got around to painting mine and this is what I came up with. I have a little family that I do work for from time to time and I thought they might like a job chart. I know she is very young and likes trendy things. Her home is decorated with burgundy and forest green. I thought she might like the Bohemian look. I was going to paint it burgundy (it has hearts and all, figured burgundy was appropriate) however my bottle of burgundy paint was dried out. Sadness and gloom.

Not to worry I just went with the green. I started out with the creamy coloured board they had at the church, then took a few rubber stamps and stamped a brocade background using a light tan. I added metallic gold swirls and blended the dark green with the gold and scrolled out some swirls and green vines, added a few medallions and there you go.

I painted the hearts green, added some stamped filigree to the edges, painted the drawer pull knobs gold and went to work embellishing. I had black wire and some beads in gold and green, a few copper, black and pewter swirl paper clips,and used that for the hangers. I painted names and jobs and then gave everything a coat of acrylic spray to protect it. They dangle and sparkle just a bit.

I think this is a great project, fairly easy and adaptable for any family. It would look adorable as a chore or helper chart, or a place to hang keys, whatever!

I hope they enjoy it as much as I did making it for them!

a. Enrichment Night (or Home, Family and Enrichment Activities) The Relief Society women get together and have all kinds of organized fun! There are few requirements; at least three ladies interested, an activity that enriches the lives of those who participate, and regularly scheduled. Some of the activities we have in our ward/stake are the "Alleluia! Breakfast" (held the first Monday after the kids go back to school at a specific restaurant!), Whine and Dine (1st Tuesday night each month), knitting, crochet, scrapbookers, "Hens without chicks" (any gal, kids stay home, and we go do something fun), cake decorating, book club, community calendar, humanitarian aide (a monthly project to help out where needed), self reliance, etc. It just goes anywhere!

b. Family Home Evening. Members of the church have, since the mid century, been setting aside Monday evening as "family night". NO meetings, a special time when the phone isn't answered, the focus is mainly on the family and being together. Many families use this time to teach various principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, sing songs, pray, play games, generally take care of family business and have a great time together. Charts are a fun way to keep track of who gets to do what job on FHE! It's an awesome program!

Do One Thing: Week 10

Week 10:

WARMTH & SHELTER:
waterproof matches (you can make your own by dipping regular wood matched into melted wax and allowing them to dry), ALSO, Adan suggests using clear nail polish as a flammable sealant to the waterproof match and to toss in a throw away mini lighter...just in case. Thanks Adan!
tent
tarp (a thick plastic shower curtain can even be used as a ground cover- I got mine at the $1 store.),
emergency reflective blanket (you can get these at camping stores),
wool blanket/sleeping bag,
poncho,
camp stove, (additional options in a few weeks, but for now, if you have a camp stove, that is your best bet)
fuel,
pan/spoon,
industrial strength garbage bags (check the mm thickness on the packaging; thicker is better! these can be used as ponchos, potties, trash, or insulation among other uses. )
and once again Adan comes up with a great addition to our kit: DUCT TAPE! (why didn't I think of that?) Like he says, " A little duct tape and plastic and your sun shade becomes a very effective all weather shelter." Think of all the other uses for duct tape! (No, you cannot use it to tie down the kids instead of getting a baby sitter!) Ten points to Adan for his great suggestions!

Again, if you don't have these things readily available, check out -either by shopping around or on line- where you can get them cheap! Try the Dollar Stores, discount warehouses or even Army Surplus. We found wool blankets, twin sized, for about $7. Think creatively, Back in the day, I couldn't afford ponchos for everyone, but I could afford plastic shower curtains at a buck a piece.

Last week I was at the Bass Pro Shop, where I picked up a beach shade. This shade is portable (it fits into a sling that you can just carry over your shoulder, very light weight), fits two adult sized chairs or two adults can lay down in it (albeit closely!), has the SPF rating of 50 (rated for 8 hours of protection and recommended by the Skin Cancer Foundation), and cost under $25. Granted it is open on one side, however you could use this as a day shelter if you needed to, seriously, this shelter is very small when packed, light, and easy to set up.

We only have two more weeks before our kits will be complete! After that we can begin adding more conveniences to them and making our (emergency) life easier. As far as this category goes, in a few weeks from now, I will show you how to make a "buddy burner". A small container, filled with all the ingredients you will need to make (say it like a cave man) FIRE! All out of things you normally throw away, FREE! You can easily (and safely) store your buddy burners and when you need fire to cook with, tada! there you go, you'll have it!

Now go gather the things for week ten!

Do One Thing: Week 9

Week 9: PERSONAL ITEMS:

The majority of families displaced by Katrina are still waiting to go home because they were not prepared with personal papers and information, they depended on FEMA and the government, they waited too long, they didn't save for an emergency and other situations that we all tend to do. Now is the time to prepare. Do not depend on the government to rebuild your life after an event.

Copies of all important papers

Download info to a zip drive, including i.d. cards, deeds, trusts, wills, etc., all your personal credit card numbers and the numbers for who to call if lost or stolen, social security numbers, pension fund, safe deposit box info., bank account numbers, all types of insurance papers, birth certs. passports, photos of the family, phone numbers, cd/dvd. of genealogy, and passwords to accounts, etc. Do you know your families cell numbers without your cell? If your battery wanes will you be able to call numbers by memory? Copy everything that identifies you and your property, your future, your finances, your claims, etc. Get it all on a zip drive. Carry that with you or have it stored near you bed or in you kit so you can grab it at a moments notice.

You will also want cash in coin and bills (if the electricity is out- chances are so will the atm machines). Think of how your city will run without credit or atm, how will it run on a cash only basis for two weeks? You need a stash of cash.

a cd player with batteries or tape player. (a few years ago I video taped each room in the house, garage, and shed for insurance purposes. I opened closets, drawers and doors, to expose exactly what would need to be replaced in case of fire etc. I put that on a dvd and keep it with the kit. (understand that insurance companies will want receipts- do you keep yours? They cannot tell the difference between faux pearls and real without a receipt. Also they are prepared to fight your for the replacement costs, not new mind you, how much can your replace your t.v. for if it was four years old? E-bay cost against new. Also, remember that in a city-wide event there will be literally hundreds of families vying for those insurance funds, and they won't come easily.)

Keep your laptop/cell phone charged and ready to go every night if you have to run out without notice.

walkie talkies, battery operated radios, ham radio if you are licensed.

If you need them, FEMA and/or the Red Cross will need info from you as well. Remember if you want help from these agencies you need to apply for it the day of the incident. Do not wait three or four days, you need to request help that day! Make sure to contact the correct people, look for badges and their i.d., don't give personal info to just anyone. Check the FEMA site for more detailed info.

Again, make sure all your personal information is where you can easily grab it, not tucked in a far closet. Think the house is on fire and you are out side, where can you grab it quickly from? Can you store this info on your personal key chain?

Do One Thing: Week 8

Week 8: TOOLS:

gloves, crescent wrench, ax, shovel, 1/2in coil rope, hammer, pliers, screw drivers, duct tape, pocket knife, sewing kit, etc.

(Thor and I also have the instructions for shutting off the utilities..he may know, I may know, but whoever else is there may need the info., also a scout handbook comes in handy!)

Do One Thing - Week 7

Week 7: PERSONAL SANITATION: Soap, toothbrush, wash clothe, comb, hand towel, mirror, feminine products, toilet paper, hand wipes, shampoo, lotion, razors (um, I think if you have a baby you may want diapers and trash bags to keep the soiled ones in)

Do One Thing: Week 6

This one is not only easy, but hey, you gotta like it! SNACKS!

Week 6: SNACKS: Cookies, crackers, hot cocoa, gum, hard candy, granola bars, fruit snacks. (maybe cheerios or other baby snacks)

So there you go! Get your snack on!

Do One Thing: Week 5

Week 5: CLOTHES & COMFORTS:

2-3 socks, underwear, change of clothes, t-shirt, pants, windbreaker, hat , sturdy shoes, ( Thor and I packed all these plus sweat pants/shirt for layering) , Comfort items: Scriptures, books, games, favorite toys, paper, pens/pencils/ crayons, music, etc. (um, I packed M&Ms and tootsie pops!)

So there you go! Do something comforting this week.

Do One Thing: Week 4

Week 4: FIRST AID KIT: alcohol, wipes, band aids, neosporin, moleskin, tweezers, nail clippers, medications, Rx meds. if you can, flashlight with batteries, sunscreen, bug repellent, sunglasses, etc.

Below is one example of a fully stocked kit from the
American Red Cross website:

First Aid Kit
Assemble a first aid kit for your home and one for each car.

• (20) adhesive bandages, various sizes.
• (1) 5" x 9" sterile dressing.
• (1) conforming roller gauze bandage.
• (2) triangular bandages.
• (2) 3 x 3 sterile gauze pads.
• (2) 4 x 4 sterile gauze pads.
• (1) roll 3" cohesive bandage.
• (2) germicidal hand wipes or waterless alcohol-based hand sanitizer.
• (6) antiseptic wipes.
• (2) pair large medical grade non-latex gloves.
• Adhesive tape, 2" width.
• Anti-bacterial ointment.
• Cold pack.
• Scissors (small, personal).
• Tweezers.
• CPR breathing barrier, such as a face shield.

Non-Prescription Drugs

• Aspirin or nonaspirin pain reliever
• Anti-diarrhea medication
• Antacid (for stomach upset)
• Syrup of Ipecac (use to induce vomiting if advised by the Poison Control Center)
• Laxative
• Activated charcoal (use if advised by the Poison Control Center)

Do One Thing: Week 3

Week 3: FOOD & MESS KIT: Cereal, peanut butter, oatmeal, dry soup mixes, MREs, jam juices, fruit cups, energy bars, dried fruit, nut crackers, PLUS a mess kit or utensils to cook with, manual can opener, ziploc bags. (again, remember the baby and provide whatever the little ones may be used to eating) No need to go to the store, try to find things right from the cupboard!

You should store with meals in mind, however, BASIC meals for survival, not company sit down feasts. Store extra water if you are storing meals that need water in a recipe, such as soup. Store only those things you currently eat. If you don't eat MREs on a weekly basis don't store them. Also if you can find canned goods with the pop tops, that illuminates the need for can openers.

3 Meals and two snacks per person each day. Store this in your containers that you gathered last week. You can place all the meals in one pack or give each person their own meals in their own pack/container...it's up to you. Think about freshness, stability, and expiration dates. wrap or re-wrap to discourage spoilage and pests. Label the food and also the outside of your container so that you know what you have, the suggested meal menus, and when you need to rotate it out with a fresh batch.

Do One Thing: Week 2

Week 2: WATER: One gallon per person per day, plus water purification tablets (water for cooking and drinking; sanitation may require more). Think about the water in Louisiana after Katrina, plenty of water, just none you want to drink or bathe in- also make sure to calculate and provide enough formula and water for the baby.

We'll start filling that container soon, stay with me!

Now if you want to do more, why not take the following quiz, provided by the

California Volunteers....

Get Ready! Family Assessment

In California, it’s not a question of if a disaster will strike, but when. Whether it’s wildfires, earthquakes, winter storms or even man-made disasters, the Golden State faces its share of problems. Do you know what to do? Do you have a plan?

When disaster strikes, emergency workers may be delayed in responding, so you need to learn what to do, have a plan and be prepared to take care of yourself, your family and your community.

WE Prepare by being ready! Are you prepared? Answer the following questions to find out if you have taken steps to be prepared in an emergency.

Do you have a family disaster plan?
Yes No

Do you have a disaster supply kit?
Yes No

Have you identified local emergency contacts?
Yes No

Have you identified out-of-state emergency contacts?
Yes No

Have you identified a family meeting place?
Yes No

Have you talked to your children about what to do in an emergency?
Yes No N/A

Have you practiced what to do at home in the event of a disaster?
Yes No

Have you duplicated important documents (e.g. insurance documents, birth certificates, deed to your home)?
Yes No N/A

Do you know your child's school disaster plan?
Yes No N/A

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, please take a few minutes to fill out a customized family disaster plan.

Awesome Information at "We Prepare"

We Prepare. Here in California we are aware of the different natural disasters that can happen just within the state! California's First Lady, Maria Shriver, has worked with others in designing a great web page to help guide you to lists, self evaluations, special needs links, guides, government agencies, and other preparedness sites!

This web site was designed for California, but it is useful to anyone, anywhere!

I'm going to walk through a couple of these with you. The first page is a ten point questionnaire (a great way to get you thinking), followed by a fact sheet about the site volunteers, and at the bottom of the page is one more link to a PDF emergency checklist (which is really cool also, but later...later!).

One of the first links takes you to California Volunteers (I love this page! Sooo many goodies!) After the click, open the page that says Get Ready! Holy Cow! That page will open up to even more pages!

Two of my favourite things on that page is the Determine Your Family's Risk and Customize Your Family Plan and Children's Book.

It would be a great idea for mom and dad to go to both of these pages, take the assessment, and then make a customized plan and download and print a personalized book for your children (for FREE!). Seriously, this is a great idea! They have a basic outline for the book with blank spaces for you to add your own information and names. Wouldn't this be a fun FHE?

Mom and dad could design a lesson activity to go over the assessment with the kids and then afterwards reinforce the new plan by reading a book with all the kids' names and important info! I love this idea.

I will explore some more pages next week and we'll continue to tackle that Elephant!

In the meantime, I was directed to this site and invited to review it. The folks back at headquarters are going to be peeking in on the blog and checking the comments, so comment away. There are only 50 blogs that are being selected to do this -so lucky us! Let them -and us- know what is effective, what could be improved, and if they have left anything pertinent out.

Do one thing.

Hitting close to home, or disasters that occur miles away- they can and will make our own lives and comforts displaced. In order for our family to feel secure, safe, and self reliant we need to become prepared.

We began a 12 week program that can helped us begin to store and build a 72 hour emergency kit for each member of our family. Thor and I were able to gather all these supplies (and even more!) with little or no money, just squirreling away items we were able to find in the house already and setting them aside.

Twelve weeks to a full kit:

Week 1: BACKPACK - a duffel bag, rolling suitcase, bucket, whatever! Some form of storage for each member of the family. (It doesn't need to be new, just sturdy)

That's it! That's your assignment this week. I'll be back next week with another item to put in your kit.

Tomorrow, a great web site to explore!

Part 4: An Example Chart

This is an example of a chart that I made years ago. It has a different colour for each child on the top, and then colours for mom and dad on the bottom. (You can adapt this to your needs.) Each section has five minute increments, beginning with the bedtime and going backwards, which can be marked off.
The bottom of the chart is an illustration that shows that "obedience equals happiness and a correct bedtime" on the left; and that disobedience equals unhappiness and an early bedtime.



You may need to click on each photo to see clearly the illustrations, but you get the idea. And yes, my kids went to bed at 7:00 until they were in 6th grade.

Part 3: Family Home Evening Lesson Outline

Now that you know the basic foundation for the program here is an outline to help your children understand exactly how you will train each other for happiness. The idea is, that instead of arguing and disobedience, choosing to obey, and being disciplined will result in more happiness -which is its own reward. An obvious reward for obedience (using this system) is that everyone will go to bed on time and not have to miss out on family time.

Every time a person chooses disobedience or arguing, that person will take five minutes off of their bedtime. They will recognize their behavior, admit it to the parent, and promise to try and choose better. At the end of the day, one half hour before the earned bedtime, they will begin the bedtime routine. After that time (the half hour before the bedtime) any (each) act of disobedience will result in five minutes off for the following day. If a person goes to bed other than the regular time, that person will not get a story or other bedtime 'perks'. Prayers will be said, the parent will tell the child (at least five) things they did right and tuck them in. If a child goes to bed before dinnertime, they will still go to bed, and when dinner time has come, they will get a sandwich and a glass of milk. They get out of bed only to re-brush their teeth. They only go potty if they get permission. Any "pretending" adds five minutes off the next day.

Every bedtime should include prayers and mom and/or dad sharing (at least five) things the child did correct during that day, reinforcing the good behaviours and letting the child feel forgiven and accepted.

If mom and dad goof up, say a naughty word or whatever you decide, there is a spot on the chart for you to take responsibility for your mistake as well. At the end of the week the children get to decide how to spend those minutes, as a family, with you.

A chart that should be laminated and used with a dry wipe marker to mark off the five minute increments for disobedience. Each person in the family will have their own colour, mom and dad can share colours if you want. Place the chart low enough on the fridge so that every child can mark on it and "read" it easily. An example chart will be posted after this. When you make up your family's chart try to make it so that any non-readers can understand the concept clearly by observing the illustrations.

A key to the success for this system is that you will train yourself NOT to argue or debate with your children. Never. You are the parent, they are the children. You train them, not the other way around. Later, in their teen years they can discuss points, but in tones that are rational and with respect and obedience without argument to your final decision. Your children will not be robots without opinion, but rather young adults who can discuss and accept the will of wiser parents with trust. In turn you may even find they have a great reason and change your opinion due to their self control and good use of language!

Always pattern your parenting to that of Heavenly Father and you'll do fine.

Most all other questions should be answered in the following outline. However, if you come up with a question, feel free to ask away and I will try to explain it better.







Family Night Overview

Opening Song: Choose the Right Way CS 160

Opening Prayer:

Scripture: “ And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness.
But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.” - Mosiah 4:14-15

Ask each family member to tell of a time when they felt really happy.

Explain that Heavenly Father and Jesus want us to be happy all the time. When we look at the times when we are happy it is usually when we are obedient and following the commandments of God. Commandments are like God’s rules.

Our home also has rules. What are some of our rules?

When we follow the home and family rules we are happy.

Satan does not want our family to be happy. He has come up with a plan to make us sad. It has a name: Contention. (3 Nephi 11:29) Contention means to argue or fight with each other, to use mean voices and angry words. When we disobey the family rules it makes Satan happy and God sad. It makes us sad too. We are Heavenly Father’s children; we feel the same way Heavenly Father feels when we obey and when we do not obey. We do not want contention in our home; we want to feel happy inside.

Our bedtime rule is that the children go to bed at 7:00 so they can have a good night sleep and wake up happy and ready for a new day.

Let’s talk about a new rule to help make us happy. It is a choosing rule. You will get to choose for yourself to obey or disobey.

Do you think it would help if we started to think carefully about our words and actions? Our words and actions need to be nice. We need to speak nicely to each other, not argue or fight, and to obey Mommy and Daddy without arguing.

Do you think we can choose correctly and make Heavenly Father and ourselves happy all the time?

Here is a special chart that will help all of us learn to choose the right and make changes so that we can be a happier family.

If we choose well all day long, we will get to eat dinner with the family and spend family time until our bedtime. Mommy and Daddy will spend the time right before bedtime helping you take a bath, brush your teeth, and get ready for bedtime. We will share a story, tell you the things you did right all day, say our prayers and sing a song before you go to sleep. That would make us all happy, right?

When we choose to disobey, or uses mean words, or argue, we will lose 5 minutes of the day. This means that we will need to go to bed five minutes earlier. If we choose to disobey the family rules we will go to the chart with Mommy or Daddy and cross off the bedtime by five minutes. We will also have to tell Mommy or Daddy what we chose to do wrong and say we are sorry and try to choose better.

It takes us a half hour to get ready for bed. So at the end of the day Mommy or Daddy will check the chart and when we are a half hour from the bedtime you have chosen, we will come and get you and help you get ready for bed. We will help you take your bath, brush your teeth, and get ready for bed. We will say prayers with you, tell you the things you did right, and tuck you in.

We will not get a story or a song if we choose to go to bed early. If we choose to go to bed before dinnertime, when it is dinnertime Mommy or Daddy will bring us a sandwich and a glass of milk. We will not be allowed to get out of bed without permission; if we choose to disobey then we will lose 5 minutes off of the next day. Even if it’s sunny outside or we are not tired we will need to rest quietly in our bed. If we have to go potty, we will need to ask Mommy or Daddy to get out of bed. If we choose to pretend or be disobedient after we are in bed, then we will choose to lose another five minutes for the next day.

_______will be the red colour, _____ will be the blue, and ______will be yellow. Mommy and Daddy will help you to choose the right. If you argue with Mommy or Daddy you are choosing to lose five minutes.

If Mommy and Daddy use angry words or disobey the family rules they will choose to put 5 minutes on the chart. At the end of the week, we will count up all the minutes. The children in the family can decide how to spend the time with Mommy and Daddy.

Do we think we can change for the better and make us all happy? Do you think that Heavenly Father will be happy with us?

I know that Heavenly Father will be very happy that our family is trying to be obedient and not allow Satan to make our choices.

Let’s begin this tomorrow and see how much we more happy we can be by next week!

Closing Song: Quickly I’ll Obey CS 197
Closing Prayer:







In all honesty, the first day we applied this system, #1 went to bed at 3:30! Wow. Not one of the kids made it past 5:30. It was one of the toughest days of my life! The next day it got better, and the day after that it was great. By the end of week two the kids were only missing bedtime by 20 minutes or so. Eventually, (a few years later) we decided that when a child reached the sixth grade they could go to bed "whenever". It was an easy rule, because they were self disciplined by then. They knew the rules, they knew they had to get up at a certain time, no matter what, so they usually chose well.

This disciplined all of us so well that I can also honestly say that I can count on less than one hand the times my kids talked back to me after we implemented this program. Imagine your teenagers NEVER giving you back talk, never raising their voice to you, and rarely to their siblings. It was years of practice, but it worked.

Part 2: The Base

When we think about it, Heavenly Father never argues with anyone. He does not debate. He sets a certain standard and expects us to follow that standard. When we choose to disobey there is an established consequence already in place that follows. The same is true for obedience, there are set rewards for obedience and we receive those rewards according to our obedience to Heavenly Father. This is a great example for us to follow as we parent our children.

Heavenly Father allows us the opportunity to grow and learn, to repent and change. We can take advantage of this gift each time we make a mistake and try to better ourselves immediately. Heavenly Father recognizes the person who is trying to repent. He forgives our mistakes and helps us to listen better to the Spirit, which will help us to choose more wisely our thoughts, actions and words.

Teaching children to understand the process of agency is important. Many times members of the church refer to this as “free agency”. It is true we are “free” to choose, however agency comes with rewards and consequences. We can choose the act, but not the reward or consequence.

Our thoughts lead our words and actions. Helping children to understand they think about their choices before they act is vital to their becoming aware of their agency and their own responsibility. Reminding them that they are constantly choosing for themselves will help them accept the rewards and consequences for their chosen behaviors. Re-enforcing good behavior is always preferred, however children must also have boundaries and understand with clarity when they have crossed over those boundaries.

Little children learn very early on what “yes” and “no” mean. If they can say “no” they understand its’ meaning well enough to begin practicing obedience.

As children grown in understanding they can be taught that only Heavenly Father can refuse to forgive; we are commanded to forgive all. However, when things become very serious, Heavenly Father will remove someone from the group – kind of like “time out”, to keep the group safe from harm. In society, when adults behave badly, in a very serious way, they too are removed from the group and set apart so that they do not harm anyone in the group. This kind of “time out” is called “jail” or “prison”. Their agency is taken away and someone with the proper authority chooses for them. In both of these examples there are times when the person who has behaved badly will repent and be brought back into the group, forgiven and allowed to live, choosing for themselves again. In other cases, when they have behaved so badly they do not repent, they will sit in a "time out" and not be allowed to make their own decisions. They lose their agency because they have not made enough correct decisions. They do not live with their families, friends, or get to leave “time out”.

In our homes children need to understand clearly the boundaries Heavenly Father has set and the ones that we as a family have set. Children need consistency so they can choose correctly each time and know what to expect.

Children need to understand the difference between discipline and punishment. A disciplined child will be educated, love learning, be obedient and eventually live the standards necessary for acceptance into adult society, clubs, etc. and if a member of the church -a temple recommend. Discipline is a gift, most times without tangible rewards. Children will need help recognizing these rewards as they come along. Constant reminders of “hidden” rewards for a disciplined life will help them appreciate rules and boundaries that help them towards goals.

Hidden rewards can be earning good grades, being the good friend, finishing projects, helping others, etc.

Hopefully as we train ourselves to be better parents, our children will become self-disciplinarians and the parent role can evolve (around year 18!) from caregiver and teacher to adviser and friend. “I teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves.” – Joseph Smith

Are you frustrated as a parent? So was I.

A long time ago I found myself alone with five children as Thor went off in search of a dinosaur to whack over the head and throw into our cave. I was out numbered and the offspring got restless. I couldn't blame them or Thor, it was my fault. I was inconsistent and it frustrated everyone.

One particular day I found the very ugly side of myself and thought I was the worst mother in the world. I grew up in a spanking world. I was taught to spank. Spanking solved everything. If I got into trouble I was to go outside, pull down a slim branch, spend a few minutes bending it back and forth until it broke off the tree, and then hand it over to my mother who disciplined me with said twig. Although I never went that far, I did spank and I regret each and every one of those spankings.

I remember them and what is worse, my children remember them. Do we remember what caused them to be spanked? Nope, just the punishment that came from anger and left its emotional mark on my kids. My kids are grown now, and have forgiven their dolt of a mother. I have not.

We have been admonished by a prophet of God, now, recently, to give up the spanking. I wish I had heard that speech when my little ones were little. My spanking was encouraged, even praised, and I had well behaved children to prove the method. However one day I broke. I couldn't do it anymore. So I prayed. Hard.

What I came up with was marvelous. It worked! It was HARD. Especially on me, because I had to change. The training was more for me than the kids. But change I did, and they followed; and after one heck of a week things began to turn very well. I still had the best behaved kids I knew, just without the spanking, arguing and other messes that led to all of our frustrations. My kids were happy and content; and so was I.

So here you go. I have been asked by a few people to finally get this out there in hopes that the masses (read: the 5 people who read this blog) can find it as useful as I did. Please read through all the posts and feel free to adapt it to your particular circumstances and family.