Nameless

As I've previously mentioned, our baby girl has no name. We still have 20 weeks to figure this out (or 15, if she's like Landon), but now that she's a she, and seems so much more real because of that knowledge, I don't like that she is nameless. Our hypothetical second baby boy was named. He still is named in fact, and until I'm certain he won't exist, either because we decide against having a third child or because that third child is a girl (oh my god, how will I name two female children?), I'm not sharing it. But I never had many names on my girl list, and the few I had were immediately pulled off when I thought of actually naming our baby. My daughter, possibly the only daughter I will ever name.

JP and I went through the list of the top 200 girl names last night and between the two us vetoed all but 2. And we're not in love with the two. You see I'm very picky about names. I don't like names that are made up, names that have bizarre spellings, names that are unique to the point of weirdness, names that are overly common (i.e. not in the top 25; I was so pissed when "Landon" sky rocketed from 73 to 23 the year after he was born), and names that can be shortened into nicknames (ex: William because I don't like Will, Bill, or Billy. Both JP and I have names with very common nicknames and we both hate those nicknames and how frequently people try to use them. Now that the 80's are over people don't try to shorten mine as much, but people are constantly trying to give JP a name he doesn't respond to).

So it's tricky. I actually love names- hearing about them, reading lists of them- I have to stop myself from asking for people for their middle names and sibling names when I meet them. And it really freaks them out when those names come up and I remember them months later. But for as much as I like names generally, I like very, very few when it comes to actually attaching them to my children.

Ironically, Landon's name came quickly and easily. It's the name of a private school where JP grew up (side note: tuition is $28-29,000 A YEAR. per child. for all the years they are in school from third to twelfth grade. who can afford this?) and he mentioned liking the name fairly early in the pregnancy (his only remotely acceptable suggestion). Then the first time I felt our baby boy kick after our sonogram I exclaimed, "Landon just kicked me!" and his name was set. That has not worked this time as she's been kicking me all morning and inspiration has failed to strike.

I do remember a week or two of deep name-doubt after Landon was born. I'd stare at him and think: Do I really like his name? Do I just think I like it because I've been calling him that for 4 months? Does he look like a Landon? What does a Landon look like? Landon. Lan-don. Lannnndonnnnn. Maybe it sounds weird? Oh my god my child has a weird name. How hard is it to change a birth certificate. Do I like any other names? Oh, he's awake, never mind, it's fine.

For the record, I do like his name, though I can't help but wish I'd thought of the name we're holding for potential boy #2 back when I was pregnant the first time. Landon loves his name and delights in making us write it over and over for him to point at and say, "That's my name!" He even made a joke about it on our car ride home from the Houston last weekend. We'd just stopped at Dairy Queen so I could get a chocolate dipped cone and french fries (hey I'm pregnant, no judging). Landon asked for a fry and I said, "sure sweetheart" as I passed one back to him. Without missing a beat he said, "No mama, I'm called Landon!" and then laughed hysterically. My toddler made a joke! They grow up so fast.

So, a name. We need one. I'm sure we'll think of something, I just hope it's sooner rather than later. I like being able to refer to the baby bouncing around in my belly as something other than pronouns.

My Baby Girl

It took me approximately 2 hours to adjust to the idea of having a girl. And that's really what it was- an adjustment. It's not that I was unhappy with the idea, I just had this picture in my head for the past 4 months (or really, 4 years) of two little boys running around my house and I had to shake it out. Doing a little online window shopping helped dramatically. By the time I left work yesterday I had billed 0.6 hours, but my baby girl had a full registry of items at Land of Nod.

It all started because I perused a few baby bedding items at Target.com. Landon's nursery was trucks and trains, and while I fully believe that my little girl will love playing with her brother's wheeled vehicles, I wanted something a little more feminine for her nursery. Plus, we've already bought all the big ticket baby items, so I can have a little fun with redecorating this time around. But I quickly rejected nearly all of the "girl" decor- it was too cutesy, had too much pastel pink and purple, or involved some sort of licensed character. Or, barring all that, it was too white. We're not painting the walls of the nursery (which are currently white), so I want some color in the bedding to brighten it up. In desperation I turned to Land of Nod and immediately found the perfect set.

It is called "Oh, What A Beautiful Morning" and reminds me of the songs my mom and grandma used to sing me and the way I sing "You Are My Sunshine" to Landon every night. I love the vibrant colors, the non-girliness, the sentimental value, and the fact that it allows for fun girly touches to be added without suffocating the room. By the time I'd added all the pieces to my registry (a registry created mainly for me), I was giddy with excitement for our little girl.

Then I found these butterflies to hang from the ceiling above her bed and changing table and got so excited I called JP immediately and made him look at them. So big! So delightfully whimsical! I love them. I decided to call it a day and go home- I'd been so productive, even if I had only done 40 minutes of real legal work.

And even though sonogram images are a little creepy (JP has dubbed the first one "alien face"), here are some pictures of my baby girl.

I have the one proudly exclaiming "girl!" but it felt a little invasive to splash it up on the internet. Poor thing should have some privacy.

This one with her stretching her leg is my favorite- I think she looks like a dancer. Or maybe that's just because I have no dancing talent whatsoever and think it would be awesome if my daughter got all that I didn't.

Here she's swimming around upside down. It was so fun to watch her flipping around up on the ultrasound screen.

Also fun? Saying "her" and "she" rather than "it" or "the baby". For me the 20-week ultrasound is when I make the mental switch from "I'm pregnant" to "I'm having a baby." My daughter. Now we just need to come up with a name...

It's a...

GIRL!

I realized right when the ultrasound tech made her announcement that I was more attached idea of a baby boy than I thought (I think mostly because I already had the name picked out and I'm really sad not to use it) and I think JP is still in a daze. But everything looks great and we are So excited. It's going to take a few days to get used to using "her" and "she"- even after finding out I kept referring to "his head" or "his leg" on the screen. But baby girl Lag Liv looks fantastic and everything is measuring perfectly.

Everything with me also looks good - both the placenta and cervix look exactly as they should so that was a big relief. We met briefly with the high risk doctor who is also the ultrasound reading specialist (I'm sure there's a fancier name for that) and he affirmed that he saw nothing concerning in the images. My OB was also pleased, and once armed with the sonogram pictures, was far less concerned about the weekend bleeding. But because it is so important to get to 28 weeks, she still advised for us to avoid intercourse until then. I am also to avoid vigorous exercise (I assured her that was not a problem as I'd been avoiding it since I was pregnant with Landon) and should delay the big shopping trips and nursery decorating plans until after that 28-week mark. She said my current schedule shouldn't be a problem and I shouldn't be too worried, it just seems wise to avoid introducing anything extra to my days until we reach a safe point and I'm totally fine with that.

So it was a great appointment. I still can't believe we're having a girl- Landon's going to have a little sister! I need a name- our hypothetical boy was named, but I've got nothing on the girl list. I also need to start shopping (online shopping) for non-frilly, non-overly-cutesy girly things.

I'm just so, so happy everything was picture-perfect. And I can't wait to watch that little girl wrap JP around her baby finger.

High Risk

I was going to write a nice post about my date with JP last night, and how in the middle of dinner I suddenly felt a surge of pride that we've been together for 8 1/2 years and have found a way to thrive after some very difficult times. Here we are at 26 and 28, homeowners, financially secure, nearly through two separate rounds of graduate school which we're paying for ourselves, and the proud parents of one very happy little boy. And when it seems like everyone we know has a grandparent they can call up whenever they need a little extra help, we did just about all that on our own. I looked at JP and said "I'm proud of us" even though it felt a little silly to say, and I really was. And I was so happy about how much I still love just talking to him and how much we make each other laugh. It was a fun evening.

But this morning I had my second pre-term prevention appointment to start my progesterone shots. As will be the routine, I started out sitting at a little table in the exam room to chat with my nurse practitioner. She was glad to hear my trial had moved up, glad that I had committed to my prenatal massages, and again strongly encouraged the prenatal yoga which I'm going to make myself do even though I hate yoga and all things involving stretching because I am the most inflexible person on the planet (ironically, something that could be improved if I would just stretch).

Anyway, and this is about to venture into TMI territory but it's too much a part of my next 6 months not to discuss, I mentioned that I had some - well kind of a lot of - bleeding during sex on Sunday. I said it quickly, hoping it would not be a big deal, but the look on her face quickly abused me of that notion. It's definitely a deal, probably a big one, and means NO sex until after the baby is born. In June. IN FIVE MONTHS. And then there's those recovery weeks immediately thereafter... I can't drink, my waist is gone, I can't take the good drugs for my headaches, I lose many a fun weekend afternoon with Landon to naps -- and now my sex life is gone as well. That hypothetical third child is starting to look a little hazy...

And of course most worrying of all is how concerned my NP was. I got my shot and she did an exam and said everything seems fine, but I need to continue to try to take it easy. I left upset about the mandatory celibacy but otherwise okay. How bad could it be? The bleeding had stopped on its own, I had no cramping, and now I wasn't going to be doing the thing that caused it. But then my OB called this afternoon to say that my NP called her with concerns and to see if she agreed that we should move up my ultrasound currently scheduled for Friday. My OB agreed and asked me to come in at 8:30 tomorrow morning.

I'm excited to find out the sex a few days early, but I'm stressed about my doctors' obvious worry. It's a good thing, of course, to have a team of medical professionals I like and trust looking out for me like this, it's just that my appointments with them and their reactions to things stress me out far more than anything else in my life. And that's ironic since the whole goal with this pregnancy is to reduce my stress. Part of the problem is that I don't find my life stressful. I like it and I'm happy nearly all of the time. I understand that I need to step back and that nothing is more important than a healthy baby, but I feel fine and that makes it very hard to know when I'm pushing things. As I've also said, I like what I do and find my average work days enjoyable, so again, it's hard to draw lines when I don't know what my body apparently finds to be too much since my mind thinks everything is great. I'm sure I'll get a few more guidelines on that during my OB visit tomorrow.

An important side note is that the baby is absolutely fine. I listened to the strong, steady heart beat this morning and can feel him/her kick around in my belly frequently throughout the day. The concern is that something is happening with my cervix or the placenta to cause this bleeding and that's what they want to look at in the ultrasound tomorrow.

I also had a whole post to write on my thoughts about having a boy or a girl but I thought I had until Friday to do it. For the record I really want a boy, though I'll also be thrilled with a girl. I'm very glad the choice is out of my hands. I've always pictured our family as consisting of two boys and then a girl. I know that if I find out I'm carrying a little girl tomorrow, I'll be so happy for her, but still so sad for the little boy I spent 20 weeks thinking was in there. I don't think the fact that he might never have existed at all will stop me from mourning him, even as I celebrate the news of Landon's little sister.

I'll keep you posted.

to PapaGigi's house we go

On Saturday morning I re-packed my suitcase for the fourth time in two weeks and piled the family in the car to head to Houston. Many months ago my uncle the pilot (and only family member not residing in Texas) decided to bring his family to visit the Texans over the MLK weekend. All my Houstonian family members decided to keep the weekend free, so my grandparents thought they'd drive over from San Antonio, and next thing we knew a full family reunion was in the works. My sister and brother finangled to get off work and all 22 of us converged at my parent's house, all together for the first time since my wedding in 2005.

Landon was SO excited as we started our drive. He clapped his hands, made up songs about "PapaGigi's house," and asked us about "Houston" every 3 seconds. Until we hit Brenham (home of Blue Bell ice cream and halfway through the 3 hour drive), then he was a little subdued, but still happy about all the farm equiptment and cows he could spot out the window. By the time we hit Katy he was over the whole thing and I heard a little voice from the back say, "mama, I just wanna go home." Luckily we were only 30 minutes away.

As a surprise to my grandparents we hired a professional photographer to take a group portrait of the full family - after all, now that my oldest cousin is 17 and they're all getting closer to moving away from home, it's going to keep getting harder to get everyone together. My grandparents were very touched; my grandpa even cried during our little family meeting, so of course so did I.

We also celebrated their 80th birthdays. As you can see, we're a little bit Swedish (and that Dala horse has a bit of a sweet tooth).

Landon waited very patiently for his piece of cake (one of the many side benefits I keep discovering about daycare) and then dug in, filled with enthusiasm for his great-grandparents. Or maybe he just really likes cake.

Regardless it was a great little trip, made even better by our return home this afternoon and the day off I plan to spend AT HOME tomorrow. It will be my first day this year spent in my house with my family and no suitcase to pack. My big plans include a long walk with Landon, JP, and the dogs, an afternoon cuddle with JP, and a leisurely grocery store trip where I don't shop as quickly as possible from a list drafted in order of grocery store aisle. I'm going to think of things to cook while I'm shopping. There may even be some meandering and investigating of new ingredients. It's going to be crazy.

Massage Therapy Rx

I got back to Austin on Wednesday in enough time to sit down for dinner with my boys and snuggle with Landon in his big boy bed (a transition which could NOT have been easier- we just stuck him in there about a week ago and he's taken all his naps and 12 hours at night ever since- I still have such residual fear from his "not-easy" days that I totally dreaded this switch to a new room and new bed). I got to hear all about his two days with daddy and daycare then received lot of kisses, including two from his pound puppy. It was great to be home.

Thursday morning wasn't quite so good - when I was heading out the door to work Landon cried and begged me to "no go to Dallas". I tried to explain that I was only going to my office and I would be back for dinner, but to no avail. I was able to pick him up from daycare early and we played together all night, so he now seems to believe that I will be sticking around.

The judge moved up our trial to March 1st. This is bad in that we will be very busy until then, but good in that I will be 25 weeks pregnant rather than 30, and we were probably going to be busy until trial started regardless of whether it was March or April - at least now the prep ends sooner. I'm still very conscious of all the specialist told me about pre-term labor, and by the end of my fast-paced, high-stress emergency hearing, I was doubting whether I could (or really, should) be on the trial team. To that end, I'm doing what I can during the prep time to take care of myself. I will be receiving the weekly progesterone shots, which from my research are highly effective in delaying pre-term labor, especially in people like me with no other risk factors (i.e. no multiples, no diabetes, not overweight, not over 35 -- just labor probably caused by stress or other environmental factors). I was cognizant of the tension in my body as I sat in court or at the computer until the wee hours of the morning and took breaks to walk around or stretch. I ate well. I drank a lot.

And today I treated myself to a 60-minute prenatal massage. By mid-massage I had worked out the financials to allow myself one every two weeks, with the option of going weekly once we get in to the trial. I'm not shopping, I have no time to run errands, and I haven't bought new clothes or shoes in weeks - this will be my "fun" expense until I am no longer pregnant. Due to a membership program at the wonderful massage place near our house, my first hour-long massage of the month is $49 and any additional are $39. My therapist was very experienced with prenatal massage and was perfect for me - no talking and a firm touch. I think this will greatly help my headaches, back aches (we sit on a wooden bench in court), and whatever other stress I don't think I have but my body apparently holds on to. And they're open till 10 at night and on weekends so I can schedule them outside of work.

I feel good. I feel like I'm doing what I can to be healthy while still working in this job that I love on a case that is very important to me (and to the firm, which in turn, is great for me). If I need to step back more I will - each of the partners is well aware that I'm pregnant and that I am being monitored for early labor, but I'm hoping that won't be necessary.

I'm 19 weeks and everything is going well. I still don't think much about the pregnancy- it just sort of "is." Last time I was constantly reading message boards and articles about pregnancy and fetal development- this time I periodically rest my hands on the beginnings of my belly and smile. Then I turn back to my work or my Landon. My biggest problem has been finding enough clothes that fit to wear to court- I'm going to have to invest in a maternity suit soon...

Keeping the Spousal Spark Alive When You're Working Non-Stop

I am still in Fort Worth and totally over the thrill of business travel. As a girl who grew up camping, hotel rooms held a certain allure well into my early twenties. But I'm done now. I want my own room, my own bed, and my own big, snoring husband next to me. Apparently my key to restful sleep is kicking him periodically throughout the night. There is no one to kick here and I'm sleeping terribly.

And because I miss JP like crazy when we are separated for more than 8 hours, we've been emailing each other frequently throughout the day. Today's exchange made me hide a smile at multiple times during the hearing.

Me, 8:49 am: "Hey sweetie, hope the morning went well. I miss you."

Him, 9:14 am: "Hey babe! Morning went great - he slept in. About to steam clean the carpets!!! Love you"

Me, 9:17 am: "I find it very sexy that you are so excited about that."

Me, 2:42 pm: "How is the carpet cleaning going? Looks like we'll be heading home tomorrow!"

Him, 4:13 pm: "Cleaning was magnificent! I love you. Glad to hear you're coming back to us soon."

I do too, I am too, and I can't wait to see the carpets.

Recharging

After an insane, amazing, exhausting week at trial in which I billed nearly 90 hours, our Austin-based legal team pulled back up to the office at 7:05 last night. I walked in our front door at 7:13 and Landon greeted me by sprinting around the corner yelling, "MommyMommyMommeeeeeeeee!" and leaping into my arms. He talked nonstop for about 20 minutes and I heard something about bikes, daddy, parks, and daycay - it sounded like he'd been having fun. The house was clean, the dogs were underfoot with tails wagging, and my god it was good to be home.

It's not easy being away- I miss JP, miss my Landon, and miss our usual routine, but it's not as hard as I feared it would be. It helps enormously that I know JP is taking care of everything at home just as I would (and maybe even better- he's stricter about eating healthfully and putting away toys at the end of the day), and that Landon is happy and loved in his competent hands. It also helps that Landon can talk on the phone now and I get to hear about his day and receive some telephonic kisses. Of course this also makes it harder- at one point when we were talking JP said, "umm, he's leaning over the phone (which was on speaker on the couch)... I think- oh, he's giving it a hug!" That did make my eyes a little teary and I had to remind myself that I was only away for two nights.

The other thing that helps is being insanely busy, knowing I'm needed, and loving my job. Being an integral part of a prestigious team of super lawyers on a case of critical importance to our client (and a client who's of critical importance to us) is pretty amazing. The second chair at the trial is the firm-wide head of litigation; first chair is one of the most famous litigators in our state. Getting to watch them in opening arguments and cross- and direct-examinations of a witness was awesome. Watching the UT game up in the hotel suite of the super famous partner and hearing his stories of litigating through the years was icing on the cake.

While the partners were crafting their arguments, I, along with the two paralegals and senior associate, were frantically gathering docs, labeling exhibits, and drafting outlines to prep witnesses. Because this was a temporary injunction hearing, we only had a few days to prepare and the arguments and witness list changed well past midnight before the first day. I didn't get much of any sleep Wednesday night, but Thursday was much calmer. We were out of court by 5, eating a delicious dinner with the legal team and clients at 6, and then watched the first half of the game with the group. By 9:30 I was back in my hotel room, in bed, eating room service dessert and reading a book. It was delightful.

Being pregnant didn't have much of an effect on me, other than not be allowed to lift any boxes (everyone is very vigilant about my physical restrictions) and not being able to partake in the $200 bottles of wine our client ordered at dinner on Thursday (though I did have a sip- he owns a vineyard and knows his wine, wow that stuff was good). But it has affected my day off. I went to bed at 10 last night and slept all the way until 8 a.m. Then, after a pancake breakfast at home, I laid down on the couch and accidentally slept another 4 hours. This would never have happened pre-pregnancy and obviously my body doesn't trust me to get sufficient rest so it simply knocks me out instead. Effective, if inconvenient- I had things I wanted to do today.

This weekend is about family and relaxing. I have my 18-week check-up on Monday before we return to Fort Worth for another 2-3 days of testimony. This time it shouldn't be nearly as busy or stressful since our documents are organized and all our exhibits have been admitted. I will have to miss my first progesterone shot, but there was a snafu at the pharmacy and it turns out it wouldn't have been ready for my Tuesday morning appointment anyway. I'm moving it to Friday and will continue them weekly from there- I'm also going to ask about JP administering some of them. I suppose I should check with JP on that first- he's not quite so comfortable with medical things as I am.

I started to feel the baby kick while sitting on the wooden bench in the courtroom- I got a big smile on my face right as on of our witnesses was being grilled by the other side. Feeling the baby move is the only thing I enjoyed about pregnancy last time; it's so fun to have a little secret dance going on in my belly while everyone else is focused on the judge. Landon just woke up from his nap (in his big boy bed!!) and we're headed to the park- Happy weekend to you all!

Full Throttle

I have billed 60 hours so far this year. This year that just began 5 days ago.

The opposing party in my biggest case (the case that I am very attached to that caused me to switch from corporate law to litigation) filed a motion for a temporary injunction late in the afternoon on the 31st, and I have worked nearly non-stop since then. We had a Motion for Continuance yesterday so I drove the partner, senior associate, and paralegal to Fort Worth at 6 a.m. to attend the hearing. We got a whopping two day's extension -- an extension that is causing three of the partners to miss their planned trips to the UT Championship game in Pasadena -- and spent the rest of the day strategizing in our Dallas office (the partners are spread among various offices so we took advantage of being in the same city for the day). We got back to Austin around 11 p.m. last night and head back to Fort Worth tomorrow to prep our witnesses for the 2-3 day hearing.

It has been insane. We're basically putting together a mini trial on the most important issue in our case in two days. This case has four heavy weight partners but only two associates (a 7th year and me) so ... well, it's been insane.

The completely crazy part is that I haven't minded this at all. I love this case. It is fun and fascinating, extremely high stakes, and touches on every corporate law topic you could throw into a law school exam question. I like each partner on it and it's nice to have such a substantive, visible role as the only person who really knows the documents, exhibits, etc.

So the work part is good. The home part is also pretty good. I miss Landon, but I was home this morning and left the office at 7 tonight after being told to do so by a partner who remembered Landon goes to bed at 8. I worked from home on the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, so Landon spent lots of time playing next to me and showing me his toys and crayon creations. Both boys are feeling fine and have been since Saturday evening (thank goodness for that). JP doesn't start class again until the 19th and Landon's daycare is back in session, so JP is very happy as a part-time stay-at-home dad.

Ironically my biggest source of my stress came from my initial pre-term labor prevention program appointment which was supposed to be all about reducing my stress. To back up, my OB recommended I enroll in this program offered through the Texas Perinatal Group since I had Landon at 35 weeks with no indicators or risk factors. And because I would love a full term pregnancy with no time spent torn between a baby in the NICU and a toddler at home, I was happy to go. Today was my first appointment, which I almost changed because of the overflowing inbox of emails and task lists, but I once read an article about signs of a workaholid and one of the signs was canceling doctor's appointments, so I forced myself to walk away from my computer and drive across town. Once there I met with the Nurse Practitioner, who I will see every visit (I will probably never see the perinatologist as I am not high risk and will continue to see my OB), and we walked through my last pregnancy, my picture-perfect delivery, and my bruised baby with broken ribs and his 12-days of NICU time.

I loved the NP. I really like my OB- she never makes me feel rushed and she is exactly what I need for this pregnancy. But it's nice to sit at a regular table, in regular chairs, and just chat with someone for 45 minutes about my last pregnancy and this pregnancy and how we can keep this baby baking for as long as possible. I feel like she fills a hole left by my midwife with her low key manner and long appointment times.

All that said, I nearly started crying when I got back in the car. I really am at risk for another early baby, possibly even an earlier baby. I will be getting progesterone shots starting at 18 weeks (next Tuesday) which have been shown to delay preterm labor. These need to be given WEEKLY at an appointment with the NP where we will also talk about my schedule and rest and any symptoms I may start experiencing.

Weekly. I have a three-week trial out of town in the month of April. I have another big hearing out of state in March. I already have regular visits with my OB. I'm supposed to see a headache specialist. Each of these appointments take nearly 2 hours out of my day.

I need to take breaks, to relax and breathe periodically. I need to drink more. I need to be more aware of my body and signs of stress. She told me after talking for about twenty minutes that I downplay my stress - I looked surprised and said how on earth can you know that? She said it was because I kept laughing when I talked about all that was going on in my life. Then I admitted to the tooth-fracturing tooth grinding habit and my headaches. I was prescribed prenatal yoga.

She was really very warm and positive, it was just in the middle of this crazy week at a time in my pregnancy when I basically just ignore it (I literally go hours and maybe days at a time forgetting I'm pregnant) and I can't really change my schedule, and even worse- don't want to, I felt overwhelmed and like a horrible mother who needed to be told to put a sticky note on her computer screen to reminder her that "nothing is more important than this baby".

Then I worked another 7 straight hours, came home to a dinner prepared by JP and non-stop hugs and kisses from a very charming Landon, and reminded myself that yes, my life is busy, but I do take breaks because I have this wonderful family I require time to enjoy. I pause to soak in the moment because of them.

And then I looked back at my blackberry with its 20 new messages and also realized that maybe these weekly appointments won't be such a bad idea...

When Balance is a Verb

I woke up yesterday at 7 a.m. to fifteen new emails regarding my biggest case and an emergency Temporary Injunction hearing scheduled (by the other side) for Tuesday morning. I have worked almost non-stop since then, though I did take a park/hamburger break yesterday evening to watch Landon run about Zilker park and then refuse to eat a hamburger. I ate it for him, along with the enitre basket of fries JP and I were supposed to share. And then I worked from Landon's bedtime until midnight, starting again at 8:30 a.m. this morning with an all hands conference call.

But just before that 8:30 a.m. call, I went upstairs to get Landon only to find him covered in puke. He's thrown up less than three times since babyhood so this was most unusual. I cuddled him while we both got in the bathtub to clean him off, leaving JP to the sheets (in my delicate condition I can't handle getting that close to puke, unless of course it's already on my child and then mothering instincts conquer the urge to dry heave). By 8:28 we were back downstairs in the study. Landon's hair smelled like Johnson's baby soap, and he stayed wrapped around me like a little monkey for the duration of the 90 minute call. Afterward we gave him a sip of very watered down powerade which he threw up five minutes on the kitchen floor. This was repeated 30 minutes later when I stupidly gave in to his requests for a small cup of milk.

In between puke cleansings and clothes changings I have revised a Motion to Quash, drafted a summary of a deposition, started a Motion to Compel, and agreed to head to Fort Worth on Monday morning for the 3 days of hearings. Just after I sent the email saying I could attend, JP handed off a sleeping Landon and ran into the bathroom to throw up himself. Thankfully, his involved no clean-up because I'm not sure who could have done it.

Landon is now sleeping soundly in his bed (updated with a nice plastic cover under the sheets), JP is sleeping in our room (sans plastic cover, he better make it to the bathroom), the dogs are sleeping under the desk, and I am working as quickly as possible so I can assist whichever one of them needs me when they wake up. It is moments like these when I fantasize about having a grandparent with lots of free time (i.e. not my parents) and a willingness to help with unpleasant things (i.e. not my in-laws) living near by.

But it's fine. I don't mind the work- it's necessary and every partner on this case is working even more than I am to prepare for this last minute emergency. One was already in California for the U.T. game and is having to fly back to attend the hearing. I am not fancy enough to have these kinds of vacation plans, so all it's doing is delaying when I can go to Victoria's Secret to buy these pants which I just realized I need.

As a co-worker jokingly said a few days ago, "We're overpaid 350 days out of the year. We're paid what we are because of the other 15." This is one of those 15 and I accept it as such. It would just be nice if a bunch of vomit hadn't been thrown in the mix as well. An inauspicious start to 2010 to be sure!