Welcome Little One

There's someone I'd like you to meet:

 

Cora Linnae was born at 2:24 today, 11.12.13, weighing 7 lbs. 10 oz. and measuring 20 inches.

 

She is pink and perfect and wonderful.

 

Everything went great and all I could think when they handed her to me for the first time in the operating room was, "Welcome to the world little one, we are SO excited to meet you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ready for Takeoff

Claire has started to leave toys on my belly to "play with the baby." I'd say we're both beyond ready for her to come out and join us in the real world.

Spiders, an obvious choice for an infant

As I sit here on the couch, about to go make dinner (creamy chicken noodle soup and a giant loaf of ciabatta bread, and probably some sliced cheese because cheese goes with everything), staring at my packed bags and the pile of wrapped Christmas presents (my parents are going to drive them back to the lake house since we'll be there for the holidays), I am so glad tomorrow is D-Day because there is literally NOTHING left for me to do. I scrubbed all of our exterior windows and reorganized the kids' playroom bins for goodness sakes. I finished Landon's photo book last night and Claire's arrived in time for wrapping a few days ago. I am ready x 1,000,000. Maybe not ready for an actual baby- as we lay in bed last night JP and I both looked over at the cozy little co-sleeper set up in the corner of the room and discussed how completely insane we were to go back to fractured sleep and nighttime feedings and maybe, just maybe this was all a huge mistake. But we're here and it's happening and when it's not nighttime, we're both quite thrilled at the idea of welcoming a third baby into the fold. Mostly because that baby is going to grow into a toddler who's going to grow into a kid and it's the trio of freewheeling kidlets we're particularly excited to watch grow and play and to drive around the country to climb mountains and other piles of rocks. All in all, it promises to be quite an adventure.

An adventure that should be starting mid-afternoon tomorrow. My mom flies in tonight, Claire's big sister shirt is waiting on her dresser, and Landon's big brother shirt is packed in his backpack to change into after school. Just a few more hours until we meet our baby girl and I welcome wine and waist lines back into my life (maybe not all at once) and say goodbye to the giant belly I'm currently typing over/around. At this point, it really can't come soon enough- till tomorrow everyone!

Feathering the Nest

Yesterday was my last day of work until February! Monday happens to be a federal holiday, so I get a free home day before we head to the hospital on Tuesday morning. My c-section is scheduled for noon (now 1:30 p.m.), so we'll drop off the kids at school together and get to L&D by 11:30 a.m. It's all so weirdly convenient. My mom flies in late Monday night, so she'll be here to stay with the kids while JP stays with me and our new baby girl. We can't wait! Claire has her big sister shirt all ready to go for its Tuesday unveiling. On the ride home from school yesterday when we did our habitual updated count down of days left until baby sister is "coming out" and only got to four, she finally acknowledged, "that's not very many days mommy!!" After weeks of annoyance that this process was taking so damn long, she finally sees the light at the end of the tunnel (as does her mama).

Last day outfit; a re-wear of Monday's dress made new with tights and a different scarf

At my final check-up on Thursday, the CNM was prodding around my belly trying to get a good signal on the heart rate monitor (baby girl is completely posterior, so she can be hard to read) and said, "Do you have big babies? ... Because this one ... this one is not going to be small." Made me laugh. Landon was 7 lbs. 7 oz. at 35 weeks and Claire was 8 lbs. 10 oz. at 39 weeks, so I think those likely qualify as "not small." It will be fun to see where baby 3 ends up, and I have a variety of hospital outfits for her, whatever her girth. (I still remember the surprise when the nurse told us we could change Claire's clothes in the hospital- we were still adjusting to the concept of having her sleep in the room with us and not having to ask permission to pick her up, it never even occurred to us we were "allowed" to change her!)

We have everything in the house as set as it can be. The nursery and its drawers of tiny clothes are ready, the swing is set up in our TV room, the high chair is waiting in the corner of the dining room, the car seat bases are in the cars (though not yet installed; I'm refusing to face the reality that all 3 car seats might not fit in the back of my car, so I'm just not trying them yet), and I've cleared out a shelf in the kitchen for bottles and the tiny plastic cups and things that will follow. It's weird going back to all the baby stuff. Claire has been potty trained for over a year and has eaten with normal cups, dishes, and utensils for even longer than that, so this feels like a throwback to a bygone era we've mostly forgotten about.

And for lack of a better place to put them, here's updated pictures of the home decor I've been working on for the last 3-4 months. With last week's addition of the side tables I found for $40/each at Target last week, I'd say we're done! When JP lost his job last fall we stopped spending any money on house stuff (or anything unnecessary), so I sat and plotted and window shopped for months until finally this summer the swim school made a little bit of purchasing possible. Marshall's, TJ Maxx, Ross, and HomeGoods all made their way back into my life and I carefully started adding finishing touches. I'm so happy with the house right now. I hope to someday knock out and redo our kitchen, but even without that, sometimes I just walk around and think about how much I love it. I love that it's 70 years old, love that it's not in the suburbs, love that it's different and not some cookie cutter McMansion on a too small lot (this is Texas after all). I adore our old neighborhood and its giant trees. I think and hope that this will be "home" for a long time.

Updated Living Room:

 

 

 

These pictures were taken before I found the side tables and the thought of getting up and taking new pictures seems so hard, so here's an iPhone shot from a weird angle instead. I love them! And I love the $40 clearance price tag!

 

The Playroom; one of my favorite parts of our house. It's so bright and cheery and a perfect blend of contained and open:

 

The room we still don't have a consistent name for (often family room, sometimes TV room, maybe a den?), but I love it. I love having the TV tucked away from the main areas (we're not big TV people, particularly during the day; it's more of an after the kids go to bed thing) and I love the separateness for JP and my hanging out in the evenings. It's a cozy space with big windows and 3 doors that can completely close it off from the rest of the house.

 

 

There's now a small side table and recliner added to the side of the love seat, but again, new pictures are hard.

 

And the biggest change- The Dining Room! We used this space as a play room for the first year in the house, but when my parents gifted us with a dining table we made the big switch. It's right next to the kitchen and has been outfitted with an outdoor rug leftover from the Target summer sale and the best of the clearance section from Garden Ridge.

 

 

 

 

I love picturing our family of five growing bigger and sitting around it every night for dinner.

Now time to pack a hospital back and plan a week of dinners I won't be here to eat because I'll be in the hospital snuggling a tiny/"not-small" baby dressed in cozy sleepers- can't wait!!

Final Countdown

I have 5 days left of this pregnancy. Probably of pregnancy ever. While this has been a relatively easy one, my overriding thought every time I check my baby countdown and see it go down by one more day is THANK YOU JEEBUS. For one, I don't think my back can take any more pressure on the curvature of my spine.

ridiculous, seriously

I feel like I have a torpedo sticking out of my middle and that torpedo kicks me and gives me heartburn and makes it impossible to learn forward when I'm sitting or bend over when I'm standing. I also look forward to being able to roll over in bed without executing a careful three-point maneuver and finding myself out of breath at the end. The out of breath thing has been my most special "side effect" of this last month of growing baby #3. I can just be sitting at my desk or laying down in bed and all of a sudden I'm gasping or panting for oxygen. It freaks JP out. I am also eager for the return of: my normal clothes, my waist, my hip bones, wine, my lap, and frozen margaritas. Of all those things I might have missed the margaritas the most.

In pregnancy progress news, at my appointment last week my OB said I was 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced. I've been having Braxton-Hicks contractions of increasing intensity and frequency since then, so we'll see what she says at my final check-up tomorrow. Officially, I want to wait to have our baby girl until her conveniently scheduled time of noon on Nov. 12, largely because my mom will be here to stay with our two already-birthed children and I'm not quite sure what we will do with them should I go in to labor at a random day or time before then. But, the part of me that enjoys making progress on any project, and the part of me that really would like to hold my baby in my arms rather than having her stick out from my torso, reallllly wouldn't mind a "hey, you're making so much progress let's just move you over to the OR and have this baby!" moment at the doctor's office tomorrow.

In other news, we bought a glider on super sale at Target and set it up on Sunday. Claire has been practicing holding her baby in it ever since.

She and Landon have so many plans on the baby care front, baby #3 has NO idea

The kids have been using the boxes from my online Christmas shopping (all done!) to create some pretty structurally sound forts. Landon is chief architect, Claire provides plastic food products and blankets. Baby 3 already has a standing invitation and a blanket set aside just for her. I'm starting to be concerned the kids will be disappointed with their baby sister's initial ability to play with them. I think Landon remembers Claire starting at about age 1, and not so much the tiny helpless relatively useless as a fellow fort builder newborn phase, but she'll get there eventually.

 

We went on a family walk/bike ride on Sunday. I mostly plod, but it was lovely.

 

There's no real narrative for this one, but it's how Claire came into the family room early Saturday morning and I had to snap a picture. Not having plans to leave the house all day is no reason not to be fully accessorized.

 

Kids are fun. I'm really looking forward to meeting the third one. Five more days! (At most!)

Kindergarten, Growing Up, and the Lanman

I finished Claire's photo book over the weekend (along with cleaning the inside and outside of all our giant windows, cleaning and reorganizing every inch of the kids' room and play room, and reaching 95% completion in my Christmas shopping- I think I was secretly trying to send myself into labor. It didn't work.). The photo book was an epic achievement made possible by my Friday off and a 50% off + $10 off coupon code that was set to expire on Sunday. As I always do when creating a book for the kids, I went back through my blog posts to copy over letters and funny stories from the year I'm trying to capture. Claire, for her "from 2 to 3" year, had many many letters and stories. But as I start Landon's "from 5 to 6" year book, I find I have almost none. A large part of this is due to my growing unwillingness to share as much of him online as he grows into a kid who is very much his own person, and not a baby or toddler who is in large part (or at least the part that I share) an extension of me. Another reason is that the stories of a 5-year-old, awesome as they are, just aren't as pithy as the stories of a just-started-talking 2-year-old. And at 5 and 6 years old, Landon is Landon. He is awesome, smart, funny, athletic, almost shockingly sociable, and still incredibly sweet and generous and caring. While Claire's main traits are still emerging, Landon is the Landon he has been for a while now, so there's less urgency to write it all down. All of which results in a book for Claire with three long, funny, and sappy letters and a book for Landon with none, and I'm concerned that one day my truthful and earnest explanation above is going to be distilled down to, "see, you love her more."

To remedy that, I'm going to make myself write him a letter twice a year, even if I leave it in draft form rather than publish it, and I'm going to try to capture just a little bit of him right now.

 

Today was our first Parent Teacher Conference with Landon's Kindergarten teacher. I've been looking forward to it for a while (and only in small part because I knew when it came I'd be one week away from baby 3's arrival). I just love conferences. I love teachers and schools in general, and I very specifically love Kindergarten classrooms with their tiny chairs and tiny group tables and their cheerful walls covered in labels and posters and painstakingly created artwork. I smile just walking in the door. And of course, I like hearing about my kid. Landon seems to be enjoying school- he's always happy to go out the door in the morning and happy when we pick him up in the afternoon. He's made friends, refers to his teacher in a tone that is equal parts affection and awe, and tells us random and highly detailed stories about PE, recess, and occasionally science. But I don't really have any idea what he's doing and learning for most of the day. We get lots of art, a few completed/"graded" worksheets, and his weekly "work at home" packet, but I was looking forward to hearing more about the academic side of things from the teacher's mouth.

And what we learned is that Landon LOVES school and is doing great. Ms. C started telling us math is his favorite, no wait science is his favorite, actually writing might be his favorite. He's ahead in most things, an advantage of full-time preschool for the years before Kindergarten, and enjoys his classmates and all the trappings of Kindergarten as much as the actual learning. I think both aspects are important. The academics of Kindergarten aren't particularly rigorous- officially they don't even start addition and subtraction until the end of the year (though Landon can already do it and his teacher weaves it into everything from the beginning), but I think so much of that first year of school is just learning how to be in school. Learning how to be a Kindergartener- one of twenty-four 5-6-year-olds in a classroom with one teacher. I think there's a lot of nuance to that- sitting still, following a schedule, completing work even if you don't find it particularly interesting. Not that I think he should be turned into a drone, but there's aspects of being in school that aren't completely awesome (I will grudgingly admit) and that's part of what you're learning in that first year. And luckily, Landon has yet to come across anything he doesn't find interesting or exciting (that's pretty much true in all aspects of his life- we got a gift in the mail for baby #3 yesterday and he was as thrilled by the existence of that pink fuzzy blanket as he is for any gift for himself), so he doesn't know he's learning that part at all.

And, something that was a relief to a JP who did not love or particularly excel in the early years of school, Ms. C went on and on about how well Landon is doing academically. Again I think a lot of that is due to his preschool education and our very socioeconomically stratified school, but for Landon, who is far more confident socially than he seemed to be academically, I think it's been really good for him to feel pride in knowing answers and getting things right in class. We've noticed the change even at home- when he asks a question of us that we bounce right back at him (like how to spell something we know he can sound out, etc.), rather than sighing or getting frustrated, he tries it- tries it and has the belief that he's likely to get it right. And then even if he gets a few letters wrong, he continues on, and this willingness to try, to not get bogged down if something is wrong, makes my heart happy. If he learns nothing else in Kindergarten, I'm glad he has learned that- that school is fun, that learning is fun, and that trying hard and applying knowledge to new things- things you didn't know you could do before, is fun.

And something that was special for me to hear- he loves writing. He writes, unasked and unprompted by the teacher, little 3-4 sentence stories on the back of his artwork. I almost got teary looking at them. Writing is so laborious at that age, so painstaking with the sounding out and thinking of letters and spelling, and yet every single page in his "portfolio" had something descriptive on the front and something narrative on the back. He loves to draw and makes labeled "books" at home, but I didn't know he was writing as much as I got to see today. I can't wait to get his folder home at the end of the year and add it to his (my) treasure box.

I picked him up from JP's pool at 4 and wanted to squeeze him.

 

In other bits of Lanman, when I go to make his "year 7" photo book, what I most want to capture about him right now is his increasing element of boyish mischievousness combined with his continued generosity and sweetness. There is nothing, nothing he gets that he doesn't immediately ask to share with Claire. Even as he's running out of air waxing rhapsodic about a piece of candy he won during a game at a birthday party, he's gasping out a request to give Claire a bite. He got two special pencils at his school Fall Festival and he excitedly told Claire he used his tickets to get two so she could have one. Both of those stories happened last week. He gets excited about everything, regardless of whether that thing is for him (or even existent or ever happening). He's not a typical oldest child, but he's a great biggest sibling. He can also run really fast, loves to play outside on our "park" with Claire, and is learning that all things fart and poop-related are hilarious. He is a perfect mix of JP and my little boy and his own self. And that's Landon at 6.33.

Hawoween!

I'm at home this morning- a gift to myself of 8 hoarded leave hours for still being pregnant. My mom's amazing pumpkin bread is baking, my very favorite special black tea has been brewed, and I'm watching HGTV while working on Claire's Shutterfly photo album. Life is perfect. It could only be more so if this baby was out of my body and sleeping beside me rather than still in my body squishing my lungs and causing constant Braxton Hicks contractions, but at most we've only got 11 more days!

But back to more important matters. Last night was the much-anticipated Hawoweeen night!

 

Landon has been excited about it because costumes! candy! glow bracelets! pumpkin plates! candy!

 

Claire has been excited about it because for the last 7 or so months, every time she's asked me, "when is our baby coming out?", I've answered "after Halloween." In April, this made sense, but it did cause some disappointment last night when we got back from trick-or-treating and she looked very suspiciously at my still very present belly. Again, 11 more days. I think Claire is even more impatient than I am.

 

Tex was excited because he got to be a manly bumble bee this year. Actually, he would have been happy to don the princess costume again if it meant getting to come along for all the fun. He's such a family guy.

 

The kids loved going from house to house- huge smiles, fast feet, lots of jumping. Then we got to a house with a giant blow up automatronic cat. We've gone on many family walks past this cat over the last few weeks and the kids love it. But suddenly, at night, when the cat was only a few feet away from the path that would bring Claire to her candy, she froze.

 

Froze and cried. Moments like that remind me that my fierce and fabulous little Bear is also a regular 3 year old who finds giant cats that turn their head to follow her to be a little disconcerting. But I held her hand and we survived the walk up to the house and back. And that house gave our Reeses pieces, so thank goodness we risked it.

 

We roamed both sides of 3 long streets before heading back home. It was the most exercise I'd gotten in a while and probably the longest Claire has walked without the benefit of her bike or stroller. Totally worked off the Halloween candy I stole from their buckets throughout the night.

 

We got home about 7:30, the kids got 2 pieces of candy and a shower, and I was tucked into my favorite corner of the couch reading a book and wishing I had a glass of wine by 8:15.

 

Halloween is such pure fun. I've loved it at every stage: trick-or-treating kid, parties with friends in high school, parties with friends and enormous quantities of alcohol in college, partying with friends and large quantities and better alcohol in law school, and now back to being all about the kids. And, best of all, it kicks off the holiday season which is my very favorite time of year. May the candy eating commence and the baby snuggling/holiday celebrating season begin!

Full Term

Baby girl and I are full term today! And she celebrated by keeping me up until nearly 3 a.m. with increasingly painful and regular Braxton Hicks contractions. Sometime around 2 a.m. I downloaded an app with a big button I could hit every time one started because I was too tired and delirious to keep track. Also around 2 a.m. it occurred to me that I could actually go into labor before my scheduled c-section date, that it could in fact be happening right then and I needed to pack things and call one of the two very kind co-workers who offered to be our middle-of-the-night baby contact and there was some leave-related paperwork I still had on my desk at work and was our camera charged? and wasn't it nice I'd done my hair for my baby shower on Saturday night so I could just brush it out slap on some under eye concealer to be post c-section camera ready? Maybe it would be nice to have the baby now!

And then, about 2:45 a.m., they stopped. They stopped and I was instantly relieved and unconscious and left my poor contraction timer app clicking away until 7 a.m. when I woke up and found out I'd had what appeared to be the longest contraction ever.

 

So that was last night's excitement. Saturday night's excitement was our couple's baby shower! Hosted by two very good friends and co-workers, one of whom just had her second baby and another of whom is due with her first in February (and another three co-workers just had or are about to have babies; we could pretty much start an infant daycare center). I'd never had a couple's shower and it was so fun to do something different and less girly and baby-focused for #3. And since all my friends in Fort Worth are my co-workers (I'm so so blessed with the people who have started at the SEC just before and after me; I genuinely love all of them and their spouses, how rare is that?!) and many of them were men, it allowed me to have a guest list of more than 4 people. And as an added bonus, everyone seemed super excited about a grown-up party sans-kids.

We had margaritas (virgin/sad and regular/delicious), a Mexican fajita and nacho buffet, and many sweets.

 

We opened presents- teeny tiny baby clothes and soft blankets and a little lamb that promises to soothe baby 3 to sleep.

 

My parents treated grandbaby 3.0 to the two most fabulous holiday hats EVER. I cannot wait to meet her and hold her and put a turkey hat on her head. They also sent this portable highchair that I think is going to be awesome to have for the lake house, all the time we spend outside by the pool, and all the times baby sister is going to be dragged around time for various big sibling related events.

 

In other weekend adventures. I got a haircut on Friday. As always, I pretended like I'd do something different and then just got about 2 inches cut off all around. But my new stylist did curl it, which is fancy and not something I'm remotely capable of recreating, so the only people who got to enjoy it are my family and the fine people in the customer service line of Target.

 

And on Saturday I brought Claire to the "ladies salon" for a haircut of her own. We've always just brought Claire to Great Clips with JP- like Landon, she loves haircuts and the whole thing takes about 5 stress-free minutes, so we never bothered with a pricier kids place, but lately I've felt like GC hasn't been doing a great job. Her bangs were always too long and it seemed like maybe she could have some sort of style besides a mop top. I was saying this to my stylist on Friday and she said "oh, just bring her by on Saturday, I'll trim her up for free!" So I did, and it was adorable.

 

When we walked in Claire reverently whispered, "is this a big girl place?" And then she sat calmly during her trim and told her newly adopted stylist ALL about her baby sister who is going to come very soon. Her bangs look adorable now, her hair is a little bit layered and the curls come out better, and she had a story to very excitedly share with her school class on Monday. It was a 10 minute visit of win.

Less fun, but very satisfying for me and my obsessive need to clean and organize everything in our house, was finally getting JP back up on our roof to scrub our 40 sky lights so they sparkle. They looked beautiful for about 4 hours and then we had a massive storm that dumped a bunch of leaves on them. They're still vastly improved, but it seemed a little mean of mother nature to smack us down so quickly from our window cleaning high.

 

That's about it. I continue to feel generally fine, but am pretty over the belly. It's in my way. I can barely put on socks. I'm tired of my maternity clothes and I miss being able to find my hipbones when I put my hands on my waist. It's the little things. I was walking around Old Navy o Saturday, a place filled with clothes that are perfectly serviceable but rarely sigh-inducing, and I found myself filled with envy that I couldn't just pick something up and try it on. Then the Victoria's Secret holiday collection catalog came in the mail and I was too depressed to open it to pull out the coupon. I'm ready to just be me inside my body again. But mostly, after doing a final round of laundry and folding and organizing tiny diapers of clothes in the nursery, I'm just really want to meet our baby girl, to introduce her to her overjoyed big siblings, and to get on with the holidays and the joyous chaos of being a family of five. Two weeks to go!

Projects!

Projects- we're doing them!

I am working hard on growing a baby. A project that is now 22 days away from completion.

I continue to feel good. Honestly, other than my obsession of countdowns and general impatience, I almost wouldn't believe I only have 22 days left. My back is much better now that I know resting it isn't the answer and my heartburn has been cured by this crazy drug called "Zantac." I'd never had heartburn before two weeks ago- in fact, I nearly got in a fight with JP the first time I felt this "burning low in my throat" and he told me it was heartburn and I kept arguing that no, it's in my throat. I told my OB and her expert diagnosis was, indeed, heartburn, and I was to take Zantac twice a day. One pill later and it was a whole new world. I've continued taking one a day and haven't had any throat burn since! Oh modern medicine, I love you so.

(Side note: the pictures above were taken at the end of a 10-hour work day, filled with 8 hours of very intense testimony taking; my second day of taking testimony in a row. Last week was a WEEK, you guys, and I had to do it without wine. Everything went well, but I am so glad it's over.)

Nighttime routine: kisses and hugs for baby first, THEN for mommy

In my need to Do The Things and my self-imposed ban on baby shopping until after my baby shower/couples party next weekend, I've been washing and folding pink linens and other tiny things. I discovered a hidden cache of baby items in the garage that we saved in the move- turns out, I have my Arms Reach Co-Sleeper (now set up in the corner of our bedroom- it's happening!), all of our infant toys, and several other baby items I'd already borrowed or replaced. Apparently some secret part of me knew we were having a third child when we were packing in March 2012.

JP continues to work on our family's biggest project- the assembly of our 1,000 piece 700 lb. much-anticipated play set. He got pretty far on Saturday, but the roof was killing him (the 48 screw holes didn't line up, like at all), so we attached the swings and trapeze and called it a day. The kids were thrilled.

 

And we went on a birthday dinner date!

 

We enjoyed a delicious dinner, delightful conversation, and the best bread pudding in Fort Worth. Happy 32nd birthday to my very favorite person in the whole world!

 

Today, after JP went on a long run and I sat on the couch and fought with Shutterfly, we were back to it. And by "we" I mean JP, with assists from Landon, and drive by moral support and the occasional passing of a wrench or screw by me. Oh, and I banged in some poll caps with a mallet! Because I'm handy.

helping

 

Claire tested out the slide, Landon was delighted by everything (as he always is) and at 2:00 we (JP) were done!!

 

He mentioned he was hungry and we realized it was 2:00 p.m. and no one had eaten since the pumpkin bread I'd baked at 8 a.m. that morning. Oops. We high-tailed it to a local restaurant for a much deserved basket of chips and queso and a side of burgers and fries.

 

Next weekend we're (JP) cleaning all the sky lights and after that every item on my fall to-do list is done! The baby's room looks so cute and so very ready for a baby to be in it. It occurred to me yesterday that I should probably start packing a hospital bag. Claire was so patient (and so thoroughly stuck in my hip bone) that I've gone from thinking my baby might be surprisingly early (a la baby #1) to being blissfully and ignorantly confident that she will wait right until the moment she's scheduled to be evicted (a la baby #2). It literally wasn't until yesterday that I realized there could be an in between. So now I have some things packed and a list of what else I would want to throw together if needed. 3 more weeks (at the most!).