Catching Up, a String of Stories from Maggie the Bulldog

Hello friends! As usual these days, it's been forever, life is busy, blah blah, but here I am, sitting on the couch after a morning spent in Dallas at the Arboretum and an afternoon spent grocery shopping and attending Claire's volleyball game, before an evening at the ArtsGoggle street festival and feel like I should write something to take advantage of this moment. But Maggie just got herself out of bed and walked all the way over to where I'm sitting, and since nearly all my pictures from the last week are of her, I think I'll let her take it from here.

Hello internet humans! I'm Maggie, the deaf rescue bulldog. Soft and fluffy, sweet and wrinkly, I want you to know that I love you, even if I don't understand where you are and why you can't pet me.

So, on Fridays my mom works from home and it's my very favorite. I help her with her legal work and she helps me hold my head up in the air.

Two "mom is home" Fridays ago, the weather got very cold all of a sudden and it was SO GREAT. My mom was wearing everything fuzzy and put me in a cozy sweater and I took myself to the magical place where a fire appeared the last time it was cold outside.

Except, a fire did not appear. I waited around, just in case. You never know when wonderful things will happen! (I mean literally, I never know. Everything is a surprise when you're a dog and you can't hear anything and you have to sleep a lot and nothing wakes you up.)

But the fire did not come. I guess it wasn't quite that cold. I woke up at some point and my mom was still in her pj's typing away and I was looking oh so stylish in my sweater. I LOVE my clothes and I love when my mom puts them on me. I also love when I just sit and stare at her until she pets me. It never takes very long.

Later that day my family left the house with my big brother all dressed up. Something called Cotillion. It was Latin night and apparently he learned the cha cha. I don't know what that is, but I'm pretty sure you can eat it and if I was capable of being sad, I would be sad they didn't bring me any.

On Saturday, it was still chilly and I was feeling FRISKY. My mom was so excited to put me in my new puffer vest! I'm really feeling my new fall wardrobe. This is my majestic face.

This is the look I give when I want to look insecure to get extra pets. It's very effective.

Saturday was a really special day because my mom put together my new stroller and I got to go inside- with my snazzy vest- and then I got to go on the SUPER long walk that my family does on the weekends that I never get to go on.

I LOVED IT.

I walked 3 whole miles in my stroller! My bigger sister was so proud of me. I'm proud of her too.

Later that afternoon my whole family got fancy and left the house for FOREVER. Or maybe like 4 hours. Whatever. As always, I pushed open the back door to go with them, pretended not to understand when they gestured me back in, and then had to be picked up and carried back into the house.

Then I ran to the back door to watch them go and stare at them like my heart is breaking. But actually I'm okay, I just went and took a nap and when I woke up again, they were already back!

Apparently they went to see a play at the children's theater where I can't go.

It was called Tuck Everlasting and they said it was amazing, even though I wasn't there.

And then they went out to a new fun hot chicken restaurant, that I also can't go to but it's fine really I'm not mad even though I too like hot chicken, and everyone said it was delicious. They were celebrating a round of report cards everyone seemed very happy about. They also ate ice cream cookie sandwiches. No one gave me one.

Later that night I showed I wasn't mad by helping my brother put away the gymnastics mat. I'm a giver.

On Sunday morning, we went on ANOTHER long walk and I loved it so much.

My dad said it was embarrassing but I know he's kidding.

It was so fun to get to explore the park we get to on the end of our long walk- I'd never been to the park! Good thing I'm an intrepid explorer dog now because I walked all the way down to the creek to check out the flora and fauna. But then I didn't want my paws to be dirty so I walked back up with my mom and watched. I'm a lady of leisure now and I don't have to get dirty if I don't want to.

I really love that I have a chariot and get to join in on these long walks now. Being with my humans makes my whole heart happy.

After we got home I had to rest my head for a little while.

And then my whole body.

I have a funny story. It's something my littler big sister said to my mom this week that made her laugh and shake her head a lot later:

Cora: Mom, so Leo in my class has a crush on me.
Mom: Awwww, that’s so sweet. Leo is cute!
Cora: No, mom, I mean, I think it’s just because I’m so pretty every day at school. You know, with my pony tails.
Mom: Right, sure, and maybe also because you’re so smart and funny and kind.
Cora, literally laughs at my mom. Knows it’s about the tiny pony tails. Declines to respond further.

I love my littler sister, and her pony tails.

On Wednesday my mom gave me a new outfit.

I'm a pumpkin spice bulldog and I love it.

Also on Wednesday I went out for a walk with my mom and my sisters and, filled with the vim and vigor of a nice fall evening, I ran and RAN around the front yard, maybe even 4-5 times and everyone was so proud of me. I'm so fit, invisible readers, and I am FEELING IT.

My parents' retired neighbors across the street stopped by just to say how proud they were of me, telling my mom, "when you first got her she didn't know how to play and now look at her! We loving watching her and she always makes us smile. She even barked from behind your gate the other day when we were walking by with our dog. We are so proud of her!"

I'm the happiest bulldog on the block and everyone loves me. Sometimes I still can't believe that's true, but then I see my family or one of my new friends and I know that it is.

On Friday it was my dad's birthday, so my mom let him sleep in and she handled the morning duties. You guys, she's clearly not used to this, but I helped. I sent my sisters off to school with a smile, but I must confess that I find it VERY CONCERNING when they leave the car. Why are the leaving the car? Why can't they stay with me in this contained space? It would very much be my preference.

My family went out to dinner to celebrate and I wasn't invited, but I thought everyone looked very nice before they left.

My humans love my dad an awful lot. He's turning 38, which is basically ancient, but he told my mom that he bench pressed the most he's ever bench pressed in his life earlier that day, so I guess my mom isn't ready to retire him.

After dinner there was a cake. It was funfetti, with half vanilla rainbow chip icing and half chocolate fudge. Nobody gave me a slice.

Not even when I was wearing my party hat.

There was the ceremonial exchanging of the colored cards that I can't read and a blowing out of fire that I found very odd, but everyone else seemed to enjoy.

Alright, now it's late and my mom is tired (or wait, maybe that's me). We wrote this in two parts and now it's way past my bedtime, but I want you all to know that I love you and I love my family and I'm so proud to be a rescue success story. Just a year ago I was still living at the vet clinic, trying to recover from my bedraggled, beat-up state after being dumped by a puppy mill. I had a fresh c-section scar, giant untreated wound on my side, heart worms, infected ears, infected eyes, infected tail, and still so much love in my heart. I'm so glad I have people to share it with and I'm so glad Lonestar Bulldog Club Rescue fixed me up and found them for me. I hope you all have the best week, remember that Maggie loves you.

Dropping Temps, Dropping Blog Posts

It's pouring rain outside, the temperature is dropping 30 degrees in the next 2 hours, and I'm drinking a glass of red wine I'm no longer supposed to drink during the week and I am VERY HAPPY about all of this.

The last two weeks have been completely crazy. The kind of crazy that I'm pretty sure is just our new kind of normal. Three kids who are very social and involved in all the things, a dad running two companies who is actively coaching and unreachable every weeknight from 3-7 p.m. and who is the president of a (important and wonderful!) nonprofit that seems to require meetings on a daily basis, a mom who works full-time and has two part time jobs and occasional mandatory mamas nights out, and the logistics they are a logistical. Thank god the bulldog is just here for moral support.

Honestly, it works. It completely works and we eat a meal at home every night and chat about our days and when everyone is in bed (Cora at 8- except tonight, I'll note for the record because we all got home for the first time at 8:30 and still had to eat dinner, Claire at 8:30, and Landon at 9:30), I sit on the couch and watch The West Wing where the president has a brain and heart and morals (omg my brain has exploded so many times at so many news reports in the last two weeks that I just cannot), read paranormal romance novels, chat with James, or maybe photo book, but mostly just sit and chill and go to bed and snuggle and rest up to do it all again.

Tonight, for example, I worked until 5 and drove straight to TCU to teach my barre class from 5:30-6:30, swung by the house to feed the dog and let her out, drove to my other yoga studio for a staff meeting at 7, and left early from that to pick up the girls from Literacy Night at their elementary school at 8. The girls had been picked up at 3 by our sweet nanny who asked me if she could treat them to frozen yogurt because they've been so good and well-behaved these first six weeks of school. Our nanny then dropped them off at swimming at 5, James drove them from the pool to Literacy Night and stayed with them long enough to buy a bunch of books at the Book Fair, before leaving to pick up Landon and crew at middle school Skate Night while a friend who was volunteering in the library kept an eye on the girls until I could get there. Landon, who gets out of school at 4:30 and went to swimming yesterday to make up for missing it tonight, rode his bike home, ate a snack, pet Maggie "lots of times Mom," was picked up by a friend's dad at 5:40 to go to Skate Night and then picked up with all his buds by James at 8. We all convened at home between 8:15-8:30 p.m. where I steamed some frozen chicken tamales and nuked brown rice, mixed vegetables, refried beans and chopped up some tomatoes and avocado and then we all sat down together to break bread/tamales at 8:30.

And now I'm here typing to you at 10 p.m.! While watching The West Wing. I live in a world run by the Bartlet administration now.

Let's go back to last week. I went to DC Wed-Thurs for 25 hours and attended a genuinely interesting and substantive criminal enforcement conference. Our office is connected to Union Station, which I adore for its architecture and myriad of restaurants, and I accidentally gave myself a halo when I took a picture of my favorite work travel dress (Land's End Sleeveless Ponte Sheath ftw), that blazer I got from Stitch Fix ages ago that reminds me why Stitch Fix is occasionally so good for me, and a necklace I bought when I was in law school.

On Friday I took off the afternoon and spent 3 hours in the bowels of my closet trying on every single item I own- things I haven't touched in a year, things I thought didn't look good on me that surprisingly do, things that used to look good on me but now won't zip... every. single. thing. It was exhausting. I was sweaty and slightly depressed after, but also pleased to know that everything left in my closet fits my body now and excited about a few items I was now seeing in a new light. I also happened to get a delivery of a few new (larger) items I'd ordered at 50% off from Loft the week before and it was nice to add them in to my newly adjusted closet. Like this new outfit I'm very pleased by!

And then I went out to dinner to celebrate a dear friend's birthday.

I wore a romper and we stayed for 4.5 hours until close.

Claire made my friend a card because she is literally the sweetest and cards are her love language.

And on Saturday night I went to see Phantom of the Opera with another friend who took me as her date and omg the music is just so good. It has been YEARS- 16 years!- since I've seen the play, but I grew up listening to that soundtrack blasting through the speakers my dad wired throughout the house and singing VERY loudly to "Angel of Music" while doing the dishes after dinner. It was GLORIOUS to return to it and I wore a new chunky resin necklace, new black dolman sweater, and a mustard colored pull-on pencil skirt I uncovered in my closet clean out and drank a Phantom Martini in the gorgeous Bass Performance Hall and I was happy all over.

The big kids went to a 3-day USS swim meet with James on deck as their coach and did GREAT and Cora delighted in being an only child and my shadow for the weekend.

She draws all her people with visible belly buttons right now. When I asked her about it she said she has to draw their bodies first and THEN their clothes. Because you put your clothes on over your body Mom. It makes perfect sense.

Also on Sunday, I taught my very first Yoga Fundamentals class at Urban Yoga!! Five people came, which feels pretty good for a brand new class on the schedule in a spot where no class has been before, and I think it went well! I prepared all morning.

Cora had to come and hang out in the studio lobby for the 2.5 hours I was there because James and the big kids were at their meet and she was so good and really everyone was just so good all crazy weekend that I baked a cookie cake to go with dinner.

It was delicious.

On Monday the temperatures finally dropped a little (before popping back up to 95 by Thursday) and I re-wore my travel dress, a Target cardigan, and my new resin necklace. I was feeling very inspired from my closet cleanout to mix together new/old things in a way that made me happy. This is much better than trying on things that don't fit anymore and getting depressed before 8 a.m.

I got home from work at 5:00 and chatted with Landon until the girls got home from gymnastics with the nanny at 5:20 (he always has much to say on Mondays; I think he values our one-on-one window of time, the world and his social life are all more complicated in middle school and he likes to talk it out and I love it so much). I cooked a DELICIOUS but time intensive dinner (90 minutes y'all; don't let those recipe estimates fool you; unless you get home from work at an extremely reasonable hour, have self-sufficient children, and a supervisory bulldog, this is not a midweek kind of meal) while the kids played out in the front yard and Maggie supervised. It was completely wonderful. Between recipe steps I'd go outside to hang out with them and Maggie ran SO FAST chasing me around the yard (she won't run with the kids, only me; we don't know why) and we were all very impressed with her newfound athleticism and it was just the best night. James got home a little before 7, we were eating by 7:15, and it was completely wonderful. I wish the story could end there, but turns out I had a total work/life balancing "why do moms have to do all the things" tantrum after the kids went to bed over all the things on my 2-page personal/family to-do list. It happens, because it's true, and you can't always predict when the cup of the mental load will spilleth over.

It was a really nice evening though.

I have no memory of Tuesday, I'm sure it was great, and on Wednesday night I taught a yoga class at a sorority on TCU's campus which was fun. Tomorrow Landon has his second Cotillion (this time, Latin themed!) and on Saturday we have about 5 calendar entries, including our first Casa Manana children's play of the season, and then we're going out to dinner to celebrate three truly spectacular first report cards of the new school year. I can't even joke about it, we're super proud of all three of them. And so, on to food.

my fancy menu planning method

Saturday: Slow Cooker Chicken and Wild Rice Soup (I half the butter, milk, and flour and it's still creamy and delicious), wheat crackers, sharp cheddar slices.

Sunday: Homemade Meatball Sandwiches, oven fries, raw veggies, Chocolate Chip Cookie Cake for dessert to celebrate a great weekend with very patient, flexible, and fast-swimming children!

Monday: Black Bean Spinach Enchiladas with double the black beans and added diced zucchini and shredded carrots, Mexican Rice.

Tuesday: Crock Pot Pork Tenderloin, Orzo with Parmesan and Peas, steamed broccoli and cauliflower.

Wednesday: Slow Cooker Beef Barley Soup, wheat bread.

Thursday: Chicken Verde Tamales (from frozen), scrambled eggs, refried black beans, and toppings (diced tomato, sliced black olives, shredded cheese, avocado).

Friday: Random items at random times- Landon has Cotillion (Latin night!), the girls have a Friday Fun Night at gymnastics, and James and I are hanging out at a friend's house between the above.

Saturday: Out!

Sunday: Lasagna Soup, salad, bread.

Monday: Avocado Chicken Salad on wheat bread, chips, fruit.

Tuesday: Tacos, cilantro lime rice (TJ's frozen brown rice, steamed and tossed with fresh chopped cilantro, lime juice, and salt), toppings.

Wednesday: Creamy Ham and Potato Soup, wheat crackers, sharp cheddar slices.

Thursday: Beef with broccoli (with added sliced carrot), steamed brown rice.

Friday: It's James's birthday, so whatever he wants! Except he can't tell you what that is yet because picking food is stressful and "he doesn't know what he feels like yet." This will be annoying to me for the next 8 days until he finally has to pick something because dinner is less than two hours away.

Happy almost-weekend to you all!

Little Moments and Sharing Joy

This will be quick as I'm headed to the airport in 20 minutes to fly to DC for 24 hours. Maggie is deeply distressed by my suitcase and is making a convincing argument that she could fit into the overhead bin or under the seat in front of me as my personal item. I think she'd be a real value-add to the criminal enforcement conference I'm attending, but sadly, she doesn't have an RSVP.

I've been feeling down lately. I don't know why- sometimes depression and anxiety make sense, mostly they don't. It's like feeling anything positive through a thick layer of foam and feeling anything negative with the force of 1,000 suns. You fight for the positive, but it's exhausting and it's easier to be sad. I have an ability to identify it now, which helps enormously. When sitting on the couch with James at night, silent and engaged in an internal passive aggressive war of moping and confused anger against absolutely no one, now, instead of finding something to pick at or inventing something to be mad, generally something with him, just so there's a target for this furious nothing inside me, I can simply turn to him and say, "I'm feeling sad right now." And he can say, "oh, I'm sorry about that," and scoot over and put his arm around me and just let me know I'm loved. It's quite a lot better for both of us.

But it's made me quieter. Here and really everywhere. But I have a moment of joy and positivity to share before I head out.

I taught my 3rd ever yoga class last night, subbing for an instructor at TCU who usually teaches immediately after my barre class. Teaching yoga remains utterly thrilling and absolutely terrifying for me. It is so different from barre and so very technical- I'm thinking a million things at once while trying to ensure my cues are calm and smooth and natural. I spent the weekend re-reviewing postures, making notes and building a sequence that flowed and built on itself, but it's SO MUCH to keep in my mind and then recall without notes in front of a crowd, and it's difficult to discern how everything is landing in the class, especially one I don't know.

But last night, when the class was over and I was all sweaty after teaching a double barre/yoga and full of doubts over things I could have done better and desperately hoping my 15 yoga students weren't disappointed by their substitute, one of the women walked up to me and said, "I just have to tell you, that was the best yoga flow class I've ever been to."

I nearly cried. I got choked up and then definitely said OH THANK YOU! way too enthusiastically in an otherwise quiet room. It just means SO much when someone takes the time to say whatever nice thing they might be thinking. My stream of negative self-talk is as loud as it is constant and it's amazing what the words of a total stranger can do to pause it for a little while. What to her was a simple and honest comment was a powerful source of validation to me in doing something that is scary and vulnerable and that I love so much.

It was also an important reminder to always share the compliments I think to others. So often I think something kind and then just let it pass through my mind and I don't know why- it's such a missed opportunity, particularly since sharing joy always brings me joy as well. And so I'm committed to give voice to the kindness, to be a joy bringer, because I know how powerfully and positively another's words can impact me.