Exhaustion is setting in. I'm stressed and cranky.
I visited two nursing homes this morning and still made it to work by 9:30.
Had a completely unproductive day. But at least all my bosses were out, so there was no one around to harass me.
Left the office at 3:45 to get my mother transferred to the long term care facility. Stopped along to way to drown my troubles in very bad food. Fries and a chocolate shake from McDonalds. There is just something about the hot, salty, carbyness of the fries combined with the cold sweetness of the shake that makes life a little better. And yes, I have been known to dip my fries in the shake. My kids do this, too. Yum!
Got her all set up and told her at 6:45 that I had to leave to make Back-to-School Night for the twins. She said, "Wait! I have to see if I can get online. I'm supposed to play poker with my friends online tonight." Because poker is so much more important than meeting the kids' teachers.
So I pulled out her little netbook and tried unsuccessfully to get an internet connection. I told her she was going to have to ask her nurse if they had a wi-fi password because I had to go.
Finally left at 7:00, and she was irritated that I hadn't figured out how to get an internet connection.
Drove 80 mph all the way home and made it to the school at 7:30 exactly. Spent the next hour and fifteen minutes touring the twins' classes while simultaneously texting PS instructions for uploading pictures that she has to have printed tonight for a homework project (of course, she couldn't have bothered to get this done before the deadline and I haven't been home to nag her).
Finally home, twins getting ready for bed, DH still helping PS with homework. Need to go pick up PS's prints--was going to beg DH to do it, but he is knee deep in math homework that I am not smart enough to help with.
Really just want to go to bed.
8/30/11
8/29/11
DH is even more awesome than I realized
a/k/a Today REALLY Sucked
Dropped the kiddos off at school and headed to the hospital. My mother wasn't there. Nurse said she was taken for a CT scan and should be back any minute. So I went to buy parking vouchers and coffee. And she still wasn't there. And I waited and waited and finally decided I had to go to work.
Got to the office and called and she put me on the phone with her hospital case manager who is helping to find an assisted living center. Which is just code for Old Folk's Home. She sent me a list of about 20 places and it was my job to narrow the list.
Then Big Boss went insane and decided that my immediate assistance was required all day to help prepare for an arbitration that we have know about for at least 3 months and for which we are not the primary attorneys (insurance defense counsel is handling, we are general counsel). He gave me about 5 research projects and then buzzed me about every 5 seconds needing some document or other that I was apparently the only person in the office qualified to locate (especially frustrating when said document was literally sitting right in front of him).
In the middle of all that I managed to call 4 places for info. My plan was to visit this evening or tomorrow morning.
But Big Boss kept buzzing and demanding.
Then, My mother called to tell me they are moving her TOMORROW. (So much for buying those parking vouchers this morning.) Oh holy crap, how was I ever going to find a place by tomorrow? Believe me, at this point I would have gladly hired someone to research assisted living centers, but I didn't have time to find anybody.
And Big Boss kept buzzing and demanding.
As the afternoon pressed on, it became clear there was no way in heck I was going to be able to find an assisted living center on my own. So I recruited my brother to check the state's records on medical facilities, and poor DH had to tour the ones I had selected.
Yes, he is the awesomest husband in the entire world. I hardly had time to even hand off the information. Poor guy had virtually no information but he was a trooper and at least someone has seen the inside of these places.. Every time I picked up the phone Big Boss barged into my office looking irritated.
About 7:30 tonight, Big Boss said, "Do you have that research done yet?" To which I replied, "No, because you keep needing me to do other things."
And then he said to Partner, "You need to divide this project with LC because she can't get it done."
And I have him the raised eyebrow look I give my kids when they are telling a fib, and he said "I mean because I keep needing her."
OMG, I was ready to strangle him. I was the angriest and most frustrated I have ever been at this job--although I'm sure the stress from the mom situation contributed. (And no, I wasn't not getting my research done because of her--I spent maybe 30 minutes on the phone with that stuff, shoved what I could onto my brother and husband, worked through lunch and barely took a bathroom break all day and billed 10 hours).
Another day like this and I'm going to have to start keeping a bottle of Jack in my desk.
Dropped the kiddos off at school and headed to the hospital. My mother wasn't there. Nurse said she was taken for a CT scan and should be back any minute. So I went to buy parking vouchers and coffee. And she still wasn't there. And I waited and waited and finally decided I had to go to work.
Got to the office and called and she put me on the phone with her hospital case manager who is helping to find an assisted living center. Which is just code for Old Folk's Home. She sent me a list of about 20 places and it was my job to narrow the list.
Then Big Boss went insane and decided that my immediate assistance was required all day to help prepare for an arbitration that we have know about for at least 3 months and for which we are not the primary attorneys (insurance defense counsel is handling, we are general counsel). He gave me about 5 research projects and then buzzed me about every 5 seconds needing some document or other that I was apparently the only person in the office qualified to locate (especially frustrating when said document was literally sitting right in front of him).
In the middle of all that I managed to call 4 places for info. My plan was to visit this evening or tomorrow morning.
But Big Boss kept buzzing and demanding.
Then, My mother called to tell me they are moving her TOMORROW. (So much for buying those parking vouchers this morning.) Oh holy crap, how was I ever going to find a place by tomorrow? Believe me, at this point I would have gladly hired someone to research assisted living centers, but I didn't have time to find anybody.
And Big Boss kept buzzing and demanding.
As the afternoon pressed on, it became clear there was no way in heck I was going to be able to find an assisted living center on my own. So I recruited my brother to check the state's records on medical facilities, and poor DH had to tour the ones I had selected.
Yes, he is the awesomest husband in the entire world. I hardly had time to even hand off the information. Poor guy had virtually no information but he was a trooper and at least someone has seen the inside of these places.. Every time I picked up the phone Big Boss barged into my office looking irritated.
About 7:30 tonight, Big Boss said, "Do you have that research done yet?" To which I replied, "No, because you keep needing me to do other things."
And then he said to Partner, "You need to divide this project with LC because she can't get it done."
And I have him the raised eyebrow look I give my kids when they are telling a fib, and he said "I mean because I keep needing her."
OMG, I was ready to strangle him. I was the angriest and most frustrated I have ever been at this job--although I'm sure the stress from the mom situation contributed. (And no, I wasn't not getting my research done because of her--I spent maybe 30 minutes on the phone with that stuff, shoved what I could onto my brother and husband, worked through lunch and barely took a bathroom break all day and billed 10 hours).
Another day like this and I'm going to have to start keeping a bottle of Jack in my desk.
Flashback
"What would the child you once were think of the adult you've become?"
I saw this on Pinterest and began pondering the answer.
I certainly didn't envision the life I have now. I always said that I would be a doctor. I never really wanted kids. Didn't spend too much time thinking about a husband. Probably assumed that I would still live in Hometown.
But I don't think that kid would be disappointed that things turned out differently, because what I have is good.
Sometimes I feel a tiny twinge of regret for not pursuing medicine. I think that I would have been good at it. But law is a really good fit for me, too, and I think it gives me far more time with my family.
And I'm so glad that fate took over and gave me PS, because having kids is definitely the most awesome thing that's ever happened. (The twins were more intentional and less fateful, but still awesome.) Oh yeah, and DH--he's pretty awesome, too.
So I think Kid LC would be pretty proud of Adult LC. Life's not perfect, but it's pretty darn good. And I'm happy. I wasn't happy for much of my childhood and was clinically depressed through my teen years. I think kid LC would be pleased that I grew up and found happiness.
I saw this on Pinterest and began pondering the answer.
I certainly didn't envision the life I have now. I always said that I would be a doctor. I never really wanted kids. Didn't spend too much time thinking about a husband. Probably assumed that I would still live in Hometown.
But I don't think that kid would be disappointed that things turned out differently, because what I have is good.
Sometimes I feel a tiny twinge of regret for not pursuing medicine. I think that I would have been good at it. But law is a really good fit for me, too, and I think it gives me far more time with my family.
And I'm so glad that fate took over and gave me PS, because having kids is definitely the most awesome thing that's ever happened. (The twins were more intentional and less fateful, but still awesome.) Oh yeah, and DH--he's pretty awesome, too.
So I think Kid LC would be pretty proud of Adult LC. Life's not perfect, but it's pretty darn good. And I'm happy. I wasn't happy for much of my childhood and was clinically depressed through my teen years. I think kid LC would be pleased that I grew up and found happiness.
8/26/11
Brave New World
So I don't quite know what to do with my current situation, with my mother being suddenly thrust upon me. I have worked hard to keep my distance from her, and I have spent more time with her this week that I have in the last 5 years.
I won't go into details, and I know that many don't understand. You can't understand if you had a good mom. It took DH a very long time to understand because he had an awesome mom--but he has finally seen enough to sort of get it.
She just never made her kids a priority. Whatever man was in her life was her top priority and my brother and I were frequently left to fend for ourselves.
So they only time we ever really got along was when I was in my early 20s. When I wasn't a responsibility or burden for her, but before I had my own kids, which were just too much of a bother and took attention away from her. She wanted a buddy, not a daughter.
And so she has been tolerable for the last few days because all of my attention has been focused on her. I've been the buddy, not distracted by my kids. I've barely seen them this week because I've been with her. But before I left today I said, "I'll come back tomorrow and bring the kids."
And she said, "As long as they don't hit my leg."
OMG--they are 10 and almost 13. They aren't toddlers--it's not like they're gonna try to crawl in her lap. She's not exactly a snugly, cookie-baking kind of Grandma anyway. But the sad fact is she doesn't want my kids around. It will take attention away from her.
And now I am being dragged into taking time away from my kids to focus on her for the next two months. I have got to figure out how to define this new relationship and draw a new line. My kids have always been and will continue to be my priority and she will have to learn that she comes after them. She won't understand--and she certainly thinks that I owe her more than I do.
But I've really missed my kids this week. And I really do not want them to have the disdain for me that I have for my mother because something else was always more important.
I won't go into details, and I know that many don't understand. You can't understand if you had a good mom. It took DH a very long time to understand because he had an awesome mom--but he has finally seen enough to sort of get it.
She just never made her kids a priority. Whatever man was in her life was her top priority and my brother and I were frequently left to fend for ourselves.
So they only time we ever really got along was when I was in my early 20s. When I wasn't a responsibility or burden for her, but before I had my own kids, which were just too much of a bother and took attention away from her. She wanted a buddy, not a daughter.
And so she has been tolerable for the last few days because all of my attention has been focused on her. I've been the buddy, not distracted by my kids. I've barely seen them this week because I've been with her. But before I left today I said, "I'll come back tomorrow and bring the kids."
And she said, "As long as they don't hit my leg."
OMG--they are 10 and almost 13. They aren't toddlers--it's not like they're gonna try to crawl in her lap. She's not exactly a snugly, cookie-baking kind of Grandma anyway. But the sad fact is she doesn't want my kids around. It will take attention away from her.
And now I am being dragged into taking time away from my kids to focus on her for the next two months. I have got to figure out how to define this new relationship and draw a new line. My kids have always been and will continue to be my priority and she will have to learn that she comes after them. She won't understand--and she certainly thinks that I owe her more than I do.
But I've really missed my kids this week. And I really do not want them to have the disdain for me that I have for my mother because something else was always more important.
8/25/11
Waiting
At the hospital. I worked until 11 this morning, and then headed over to the hospital to be here for my mother's surgery scheduled for 1:15. We figured they would take to pre-op a couple of hours ahead of time, and I wanted to be here to talk to he docs.
Of course, 1:15 came and went. They finally took her down to pre-op at 2:30 and didn't take her to surgery until 4:00. But the monitor in the waiting room that's supposed to keep me updated shows that they haven't even started the surgery yet. Looks like it is going to be a late night.
Thankfully I found a make-your-own trail mix bar in the cafeteria, so I have provisions for my wait. And my laptop, nook and iphone to entertain me. How did we ever survive before we had all of our electronic accoutrements?
Of course, 1:15 came and went. They finally took her down to pre-op at 2:30 and didn't take her to surgery until 4:00. But the monitor in the waiting room that's supposed to keep me updated shows that they haven't even started the surgery yet. Looks like it is going to be a late night.
Thankfully I found a make-your-own trail mix bar in the cafeteria, so I have provisions for my wait. And my laptop, nook and iphone to entertain me. How did we ever survive before we had all of our electronic accoutrements?
8/24/11
Like an Injured Cat in Heat
TT got her violin today and SS gets her viola tomorrow. Gee, I had forgotten how much fun it was to have a beginning instrumentalist in the house.
Meanwhile, today my mom asked her doctor today how long she would have to stay in Big City before she could return to Hometown. He told her that she needed to stay here until after the replacement hip was installed--at least two months. She has a host of new docs here and they want her to stick with those docs during this treatment. And really, she's in better hands here with specialists at an excellent teaching hospital than back in Hometown where the best of the best are unlikely to practice (and in fact, failed to find this infection despite the fact she's had a low-grade fever for months).
But I'm not sure how to deal with the next two months. Our personal issues aside*, I'm just not sure how to fit a sick parent into the mix of my already very busy life. Of course, we've been down this road before with MIL. It was really hard then, and we were not the primary caregivers and the family had a lot of support.
Here her options are inpatient rehab or my house. We would be primary caregivers and would have a lot less support. It's looking like inpatient rehab, because we just don't know how to make my house work (and that's really not a path I want to go down). We brought the wheelchair in the house tonight and it won't fit through any of the bathroom doors--and there is not much room to expand the doorways even if we wanted to go that route.
But rehab means that I will have to fit visiting into my schedule several times a week. She doesn't have any friends or much family here. It's only been two days and the work/hospital/kids schedule is already wearing on me.
Ugh, there is no good answer here. And by the time she gets past the two months, they install the new part, do rehab after that surgery, and then get around to doing the hip that they were supposed to do in the first place we are looking at a 6-month ordeal.
*She has, surprisingly, been on her best behavior. Yesterday she even asked if I had lost weight. I've never heard that--only how much she thinks I need to lose. I think she understands her predicament. I know my brother had a chat with her when he had to bring her down for her first appointment with this surgeon and she started giving him attitude.
Meanwhile, today my mom asked her doctor today how long she would have to stay in Big City before she could return to Hometown. He told her that she needed to stay here until after the replacement hip was installed--at least two months. She has a host of new docs here and they want her to stick with those docs during this treatment. And really, she's in better hands here with specialists at an excellent teaching hospital than back in Hometown where the best of the best are unlikely to practice (and in fact, failed to find this infection despite the fact she's had a low-grade fever for months).
But I'm not sure how to deal with the next two months. Our personal issues aside*, I'm just not sure how to fit a sick parent into the mix of my already very busy life. Of course, we've been down this road before with MIL. It was really hard then, and we were not the primary caregivers and the family had a lot of support.
Here her options are inpatient rehab or my house. We would be primary caregivers and would have a lot less support. It's looking like inpatient rehab, because we just don't know how to make my house work (and that's really not a path I want to go down). We brought the wheelchair in the house tonight and it won't fit through any of the bathroom doors--and there is not much room to expand the doorways even if we wanted to go that route.
But rehab means that I will have to fit visiting into my schedule several times a week. She doesn't have any friends or much family here. It's only been two days and the work/hospital/kids schedule is already wearing on me.
Ugh, there is no good answer here. And by the time she gets past the two months, they install the new part, do rehab after that surgery, and then get around to doing the hip that they were supposed to do in the first place we are looking at a 6-month ordeal.
*She has, surprisingly, been on her best behavior. Yesterday she even asked if I had lost weight. I've never heard that--only how much she thinks I need to lose. I think she understands her predicament. I know my brother had a chat with her when he had to bring her down for her first appointment with this surgeon and she started giving him attitude.
8/23/11
Looong Day
Up at 5:30 for mother's hip replacement surgery. Got a call at 6:15 informing me that surgery had been pushed back to 10:15. Of course, I was already on my way. But at least I had time run by Starbucks.
In the pre-op room the anesthesiologist, Dr. Wong, came in and introduced himself. My stepfather said, "Oh, we were really hoping for Dr. Right instead of Dr. Wrong." OMG, I wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear.
10 minutes after they took her back for surgery the surgeon came out. She has cysts/tumors in both hips, and they were going to aspirate both to find out what was going on. When they aspirated the left hip it had a big nasty infection. Surgeon said he can't do right hip replacement while left hip is infected. The only option is to operate on the left hip, remove the tumor and the existing hip replacement and put in an antibiotic spacer for two months until they can confirm the infection is gone, at which point he can put in the left hip replacement.
In the meantime, she has no left hip for two months? How does someone not have a hip for two months? I do not understand. I try to ask surgeon these questions, but all he wants to know right then is if we want him to proceed or if we want to wake her so that she can make the decision (even though there's not a decision).
We tell him to wake her. She needs to know if she's not going to have a hip for two months. And so we wait and wait for word from the recovery room. An hour-and-a-half later we can go back there (yes, she was under for 10 minutes and had no surgery). The doc already talked to her, just as she was coming out of the anesthesia. She does not understand that her existing hip replacement part is being removed.
But I wasn't on any drugs and I heard exactly what the doctor said. And I am peeved that he talked to her before we were allowed back there. God, doctors are such pains in the ass.
So anyway, the new procedure is scheduled for Thursday and she is admitted and on super-antibiotics until then. We have no idea how long she will be stuck here. And her right hip, which has her wheelchair bound, can be replaced for months. And her husband has to leave tomorrow because he has an appointment with the oncologist on Thursday and a bone marrow aspiration on Friday because he was just diagnosed with non-Hodgkins leukemia.
I left the hospital at 3:00 and headed to the office until 7:00.
Now exhausted. Just wanna go to bed. Need to find out if the surgeon is supposed to come by in the morning and if I need to be there before dawn to catch him.
Then I have a CLE for half a day tomorrow, back to the hospital, back to the office. Fortunately the hospital is within 15 minutes from my office. The next few weeks are gonna be tough.
In the pre-op room the anesthesiologist, Dr. Wong, came in and introduced himself. My stepfather said, "Oh, we were really hoping for Dr. Right instead of Dr. Wrong." OMG, I wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear.
10 minutes after they took her back for surgery the surgeon came out. She has cysts/tumors in both hips, and they were going to aspirate both to find out what was going on. When they aspirated the left hip it had a big nasty infection. Surgeon said he can't do right hip replacement while left hip is infected. The only option is to operate on the left hip, remove the tumor and the existing hip replacement and put in an antibiotic spacer for two months until they can confirm the infection is gone, at which point he can put in the left hip replacement.
In the meantime, she has no left hip for two months? How does someone not have a hip for two months? I do not understand. I try to ask surgeon these questions, but all he wants to know right then is if we want him to proceed or if we want to wake her so that she can make the decision (even though there's not a decision).
We tell him to wake her. She needs to know if she's not going to have a hip for two months. And so we wait and wait for word from the recovery room. An hour-and-a-half later we can go back there (yes, she was under for 10 minutes and had no surgery). The doc already talked to her, just as she was coming out of the anesthesia. She does not understand that her existing hip replacement part is being removed.
But I wasn't on any drugs and I heard exactly what the doctor said. And I am peeved that he talked to her before we were allowed back there. God, doctors are such pains in the ass.
So anyway, the new procedure is scheduled for Thursday and she is admitted and on super-antibiotics until then. We have no idea how long she will be stuck here. And her right hip, which has her wheelchair bound, can be replaced for months. And her husband has to leave tomorrow because he has an appointment with the oncologist on Thursday and a bone marrow aspiration on Friday because he was just diagnosed with non-Hodgkins leukemia.
I left the hospital at 3:00 and headed to the office until 7:00.
Now exhausted. Just wanna go to bed. Need to find out if the surgeon is supposed to come by in the morning and if I need to be there before dawn to catch him.
Then I have a CLE for half a day tomorrow, back to the hospital, back to the office. Fortunately the hospital is within 15 minutes from my office. The next few weeks are gonna be tough.
8/17/11
Crazy Busy Exhausting Day
Got to work at 8:30 for a 9:00 client meeting. Saw client crossing the parking lot on my way in. So much for having time for meeting prep.
Had an end-of the-day deadline arising from the meeting. Then another client called with another end-of-the-day deadline.
Then a pro bono client for whom I have been working on on a custody modification left me a frantic voicemail. We pretty much had an agreement for temporary orders regarding custody and decided to hold off on fighting about child support because we wanted temp orders in place before school started.But Dad decided he wanted temp orders to be permanent and only wanted to pay 1/3 the statutory guideline for child support. He freaked when we insisted on the minimum statutory guideline (even though he is high income and we could likely get more) and the whole thing got really ugly and almost blew up. Fortunately cooler heads (the lawyers') prevailed and we are back on track.
In the middle of everything else, I noticed that my phone wasn't charging. I borrowed the receptionist's charger and still no luck. So I popped into the Apple store on my way home. My phone was 4 days out of warranty. And they gave me a new one! Yay Apple! They made a crappy day a lot less crappy.
Finally made it home by 8:30. The kids were bouncing off the walls. Today was our nanny's last day and she bought them all huge bags of candy. But they are bummed that she is leaving; she's like a big sister to them.
Tomorrow is meet the teacher night and school starts Monday. Still not ready.
Had an end-of the-day deadline arising from the meeting. Then another client called with another end-of-the-day deadline.
Then a pro bono client for whom I have been working on on a custody modification left me a frantic voicemail. We pretty much had an agreement for temporary orders regarding custody and decided to hold off on fighting about child support because we wanted temp orders in place before school started.But Dad decided he wanted temp orders to be permanent and only wanted to pay 1/3 the statutory guideline for child support. He freaked when we insisted on the minimum statutory guideline (even though he is high income and we could likely get more) and the whole thing got really ugly and almost blew up. Fortunately cooler heads (the lawyers') prevailed and we are back on track.
In the middle of everything else, I noticed that my phone wasn't charging. I borrowed the receptionist's charger and still no luck. So I popped into the Apple store on my way home. My phone was 4 days out of warranty. And they gave me a new one! Yay Apple! They made a crappy day a lot less crappy.
Finally made it home by 8:30. The kids were bouncing off the walls. Today was our nanny's last day and she bought them all huge bags of candy. But they are bummed that she is leaving; she's like a big sister to them.
Tomorrow is meet the teacher night and school starts Monday. Still not ready.
8/15/11
My Favorite Movies
I'm watching Father of the Bride. I love this movie. It is one of those movies that I will always watch if I find it showing, no matter how many times I have seen it. Others on that list...
1) Dirty Dancing
2) Pretty Woman
3) Grease
4) Steel Magnolias
Yeah, I'm all about the chick flicks.
1) Dirty Dancing
2) Pretty Woman
3) Grease
4) Steel Magnolias
Yeah, I'm all about the chick flicks.
8/14/11
Home!
After a fantastic week, we finally made it home at midnight last night. Kinda feel like I have vacation hangover this morning.
We spent out last day hitting the outlet malls--well timed since storms blew through that morning stirring up the sea and making the water murkier and the shore yuckier than it had been all week.
I wanted to do a bit of school shopping for the kids--although we really don't do serious shopping until October. I bought the kids a ton of new clothes at the beginning of summer, and it will be to hot to wear jeans and fall clothes for at least another 6 weeks.
But they did all get new shoes. Believe me, setting 3 girls loose in a shoe store is a true test of patience. DH was a real trooper. My 10 year olds bought size 8.5 running shoes! I wear a 9! They look like they a wearing clown shoes with their tiny bodies and giant feet.
I got some great deals at the Ann Taylor outlet, but my biggest find was a new work bag. Right after I graduated, I took my grad money and bought a giant red leather Fossil bag that was the perfect size for carrying files back. It was very sleek and polished with clean lines--kind of a handbag/briefcase hybrid that worked very well for carrying to court or depos.
I carried that bag every single day for three years. But it started to look pretty shabby. The seams and hardware were holding up fine, but the beautiful red was fading to white (a problem I wouldn't have had with a natural colored bag), and it just felt too worn to carry. Sadly, I tucked my beloved bag into the back of my closet, and began my search for a replacement.
Most recently I've been carrying a huge red kate spade nylon bag that PS has dubbed "the lunch box." I get tons of compliments on it, but it is just not working out. It will hold files, but only vertically, and everything just falls to the bottom and crumples. Before that was a gorgeous burgundy suede Cole Haan bag. It would hold a single file folder, but not an entire Redweld. It wasn't quite polished enough for court, and the suede didn't really work for summer.
So when we were out shopping, I wanted to check out the Fossil and Coach outlets in my new bag search. The Coach outlet had great prices, but nothing like what I needed. And the majority of their bags were the signature print. I really like the clean lines of the classic leather Coach bags. I hate the signature print--in Coach or any other label. At the risk of offending my readers, I'll just say it--I think it's tacky and screams "look at my label."
And then in the Fossil outlet, I spotted it. My exact bag. But shiny and new. And only $80--less than half of what I paid for the original. Now, I did check out the rest of the store. But I didn't find anything else as polished and perfectly suited for work. And so I bought it. Yes, the exact same bag that I bought back in 2007.
Is that weird? It feels weird. But I love that bag. It is exactly what I need, and a bargain at $80.
And yes, all of my bags are red. I guess it's my thing. And besides, I can carry the red regardless of whether I am wearing black or brown and not feel uncoordinated.
We spent out last day hitting the outlet malls--well timed since storms blew through that morning stirring up the sea and making the water murkier and the shore yuckier than it had been all week.
I wanted to do a bit of school shopping for the kids--although we really don't do serious shopping until October. I bought the kids a ton of new clothes at the beginning of summer, and it will be to hot to wear jeans and fall clothes for at least another 6 weeks.
But they did all get new shoes. Believe me, setting 3 girls loose in a shoe store is a true test of patience. DH was a real trooper. My 10 year olds bought size 8.5 running shoes! I wear a 9! They look like they a wearing clown shoes with their tiny bodies and giant feet.
I got some great deals at the Ann Taylor outlet, but my biggest find was a new work bag. Right after I graduated, I took my grad money and bought a giant red leather Fossil bag that was the perfect size for carrying files back. It was very sleek and polished with clean lines--kind of a handbag/briefcase hybrid that worked very well for carrying to court or depos.
I carried that bag every single day for three years. But it started to look pretty shabby. The seams and hardware were holding up fine, but the beautiful red was fading to white (a problem I wouldn't have had with a natural colored bag), and it just felt too worn to carry. Sadly, I tucked my beloved bag into the back of my closet, and began my search for a replacement.
Most recently I've been carrying a huge red kate spade nylon bag that PS has dubbed "the lunch box." I get tons of compliments on it, but it is just not working out. It will hold files, but only vertically, and everything just falls to the bottom and crumples. Before that was a gorgeous burgundy suede Cole Haan bag. It would hold a single file folder, but not an entire Redweld. It wasn't quite polished enough for court, and the suede didn't really work for summer.
So when we were out shopping, I wanted to check out the Fossil and Coach outlets in my new bag search. The Coach outlet had great prices, but nothing like what I needed. And the majority of their bags were the signature print. I really like the clean lines of the classic leather Coach bags. I hate the signature print--in Coach or any other label. At the risk of offending my readers, I'll just say it--I think it's tacky and screams "look at my label."
And then in the Fossil outlet, I spotted it. My exact bag. But shiny and new. And only $80--less than half of what I paid for the original. Now, I did check out the rest of the store. But I didn't find anything else as polished and perfectly suited for work. And so I bought it. Yes, the exact same bag that I bought back in 2007.
Is that weird? It feels weird. But I love that bag. It is exactly what I need, and a bargain at $80.
And yes, all of my bags are red. I guess it's my thing. And besides, I can carry the red regardless of whether I am wearing black or brown and not feel uncoordinated.
8/11/11
Winding Up
Yesterday we headed to the Naval Aviation Museum-it was very cool. Tons of war planes and the kids could sit in many of them. DH and the twins especially enjoyed it. PS is suddenly too cool to sit in the planes and has decided everything is boring.
On our way out we noticed a little sign that said "Lighthouse Open," so we detoured to visit a 150 year old working lighthouse. It was also very cool. It was my first time to visit a lighthouse and we got to climb all the way to the top (177 steps!). On our way back out we learned that the lighthouse was rumored to be haunted and has been featured on Ghosthunters.
Today we went on a dolphin cruise. We cruised around the key for a while before they came out, but we finally did get to see a pair of dolphins jumping in the wake of our boat. Now the kids are begging to go to Sea World so that they can pet dolphins. (Funny, since we went to Sea World right before the twins turned 3 and SS was terrified of everything--we couldn't even sit in the top row of the stadium for the Shamu show without her freaking out).
And then my mother called. She is having surgery on August 23rd and will be in the hospital for at least 2 weeks before she moves on to rehab. But she doesn't know if it will be inpatient or outpatient rehab. That is my $10,000 question. And they will only do one hip at a time, so this whole scenario will have to be repeated.
She also told me that her husband found out yesterday that he has cancer. (He's been ill, that's why my brother drove her to my city.) So he will be in hometown dealing with chemo and the other evils that constitute cancer treatment, while she is here having her hips replaced. Yuck.
Tomorrow is our last full day here. We've had fun, but it is enough. I am ready to be back in my own home and bed. Not looking forward to sorting through what will surely be an overflowing inbox, though.
On our way out we noticed a little sign that said "Lighthouse Open," so we detoured to visit a 150 year old working lighthouse. It was also very cool. It was my first time to visit a lighthouse and we got to climb all the way to the top (177 steps!). On our way back out we learned that the lighthouse was rumored to be haunted and has been featured on Ghosthunters.
Today we went on a dolphin cruise. We cruised around the key for a while before they came out, but we finally did get to see a pair of dolphins jumping in the wake of our boat. Now the kids are begging to go to Sea World so that they can pet dolphins. (Funny, since we went to Sea World right before the twins turned 3 and SS was terrified of everything--we couldn't even sit in the top row of the stadium for the Shamu show without her freaking out).
And then my mother called. She is having surgery on August 23rd and will be in the hospital for at least 2 weeks before she moves on to rehab. But she doesn't know if it will be inpatient or outpatient rehab. That is my $10,000 question. And they will only do one hip at a time, so this whole scenario will have to be repeated.
She also told me that her husband found out yesterday that he has cancer. (He's been ill, that's why my brother drove her to my city.) So he will be in hometown dealing with chemo and the other evils that constitute cancer treatment, while she is here having her hips replaced. Yuck.
Tomorrow is our last full day here. We've had fun, but it is enough. I am ready to be back in my own home and bed. Not looking forward to sorting through what will surely be an overflowing inbox, though.
8/10/11
Vacation and Reality
Yesterday went much better than the day before. We spent the morning figuring out how to drive a boat and navigate waterways, took a nap, had an early dinner at a local hot spot owned by Jimmy Buffet's sister, and hit the beach at dusk.
I've decided early evening is my favorite time to go to the beach. It's not so dang hot, the crowds have thinned, and the colors are beautiful.
This morning, DH and the twins have gone fishing and I am enjoying some quite time. Our condo is small--a one bedroom, with bunks built into the hallway and a pull-out sofa; maybe half the size of our downstairs at home--and we've had plenty of togetherness. Plus, our friends Damp and Sandy have moved in, and this gives me a chance to sweep them back out without three kids underfoot.
So everything is great again--except for the call I got from my brother yesterday. He had to drive our mother* from Hometown to my city to visit a specialist. She has severe health issues that sort of began when I was a senior in high school and she fell and broke her hip (she was 43). Since then, she's has had both of her hips replaced twice, along with every other major joint in her body.
Anyway, she recently fell again and needs another hip replacement, but can't find a surgeon in Hometown who will do it and is wheelchair bound until something is done. Apparently this is a major undertaking because her bones have deteriorated so much. So she started looking in my city and finally found a surgeon who will talk to her. My brother (who is cursing me for being out of town right now) was charged with bringing her down for her appointment.
The city doc said that she has tumors in both hips and both need to be replaced. He also wants to do aspirations in both hips to see if the tumors are malignant.
So, it's looking like she's going to be stuck in my city for a while. Right now she is staying with her brother and her brother and sister are helping her out this week. (Both live on the opposite end of Big City from me.) But I have a feeling she's going to end up with me. Her doctor is really close to my office, and the hospital is closest to me. Besides, her brother and sister have their own jobs and lives.
I am not terribly happy about this. First, because I have really tried to keep my mother at a distance (for my own and my kids' sakes). And because my house is not wheelchair friendly. There are multiple steps up the front walk, and a tight squeeze through the back door. Only the master suite is downstairs. The kids' rooms and the guest room are upstairs. Her staying with us means DH and me moving into the upstairs guest room so that she can have our room downstairs.
Ugh. Despite my issues with my mother, I do feel an obligation to help out with this situation. But I reserve the right to bitch about it. At least I have 3 days of vacation before I have to deal with this reality.
*I have mentioned occasionally on this blog that I don't get along with my mother, and have essentially cut of ties with her. I talk to her a couple of time a year, but I intentionally keep her at a distance because I don't need her drama infecting my life. The reasons are numerous and I don't feel like going into them now, but they are justified.
I've decided early evening is my favorite time to go to the beach. It's not so dang hot, the crowds have thinned, and the colors are beautiful.
This morning, DH and the twins have gone fishing and I am enjoying some quite time. Our condo is small--a one bedroom, with bunks built into the hallway and a pull-out sofa; maybe half the size of our downstairs at home--and we've had plenty of togetherness. Plus, our friends Damp and Sandy have moved in, and this gives me a chance to sweep them back out without three kids underfoot.
So everything is great again--except for the call I got from my brother yesterday. He had to drive our mother* from Hometown to my city to visit a specialist. She has severe health issues that sort of began when I was a senior in high school and she fell and broke her hip (she was 43). Since then, she's has had both of her hips replaced twice, along with every other major joint in her body.
Anyway, she recently fell again and needs another hip replacement, but can't find a surgeon in Hometown who will do it and is wheelchair bound until something is done. Apparently this is a major undertaking because her bones have deteriorated so much. So she started looking in my city and finally found a surgeon who will talk to her. My brother (who is cursing me for being out of town right now) was charged with bringing her down for her appointment.
The city doc said that she has tumors in both hips and both need to be replaced. He also wants to do aspirations in both hips to see if the tumors are malignant.
So, it's looking like she's going to be stuck in my city for a while. Right now she is staying with her brother and her brother and sister are helping her out this week. (Both live on the opposite end of Big City from me.) But I have a feeling she's going to end up with me. Her doctor is really close to my office, and the hospital is closest to me. Besides, her brother and sister have their own jobs and lives.
I am not terribly happy about this. First, because I have really tried to keep my mother at a distance (for my own and my kids' sakes). And because my house is not wheelchair friendly. There are multiple steps up the front walk, and a tight squeeze through the back door. Only the master suite is downstairs. The kids' rooms and the guest room are upstairs. Her staying with us means DH and me moving into the upstairs guest room so that she can have our room downstairs.
Ugh. Despite my issues with my mother, I do feel an obligation to help out with this situation. But I reserve the right to bitch about it. At least I have 3 days of vacation before I have to deal with this reality.
*I have mentioned occasionally on this blog that I don't get along with my mother, and have essentially cut of ties with her. I talk to her a couple of time a year, but I intentionally keep her at a distance because I don't need her drama infecting my life. The reasons are numerous and I don't feel like going into them now, but they are justified.
8/8/11
Vacay Day 2: This Vacation May Kill Us
Today do not go well.
We started off at the little zoo that could--a lovely little zoo full of playful critters that you can get a bit closer to than at most of the big zoos we've visited. And the girls got to ride a camel and play with lemurs.
Unfortunately, halfway through our visit, PS started feeling bad. First she started seeing spots, then she said her head hurt and she was getting nauseous. I had to leave DH and the twins playing with the lemurs while I ran PS back to the condo. She cried the whole way back. I'm pretty sure she was suffering from her first migraine. I gave her a dose of super Excedrin and a cold washrag on her head and left her alone in a cool dark room for a while.
After I retrieved the rest of the family from the zoo, I took the TT and SS down to the beach while DH stayed with PS in the condo. The wind was blowing today and the waves were crashing hard. I took the kids' boogie board into the the water and was immediately rolled into the sand, and have road rash (sea rash?) on my shin to show for it. For the rest of the afternoon a stream of blood slowly leaked down my leg.
A little later I had retired to the beach with a magazine while the girls played in the surf. SS had a floaty mat and TT had a ring. They started floating a little down the beach from me. They were right at the edge of my comfort level. And, then, within a minute, they were beyond my comfort level. I started walking down the beach toward them, reached TT quickly. I could hear SS yelling at her, and from the tone, I knew she was scared. I ordered TT back to the beach, and headed out toward SS. Even as I was moving toward her, the ocean seemed to be drawing her farther and farther away.
I am not an athlete, but, thankfully, I have always been a strong swimmer. Still, about halfway toward SS I started getting worried. I couldn't touch at all, and she still looked so far away. We weren't on a public beach, so there was no lifeguard. Only a handful of other people, who I hoped were paying attention. Three-quarters of the way there, I was getting tired and really worried. It was pure mommy adrenaline that got me to SS. I finally nabbed the end of SS's mat and side-stroked my way back to shore. It was a whole lot easier getting back to shore than going out. But by the time we did get back my heart was beating about a thousand beats per minute and I was breathing hard. I think it took two hours for my heart rate to come back down.
Once we got back to the beach, I plopped down to text DH. But my iphone said that the temperature was too high to operate. (WTF?) So I carefully balanced it in the cooler. In the meantime, the girls went back to collecting shells in the surf.
And then SS got stung by a jellyfish. So she comes up to me screaming. And, of course, I'd left the bottle of vinegar back in the condo. Right at that moment the wind grabbed TT's floaty ring and rolled it, on it's side down the beach. It rolled and rolled and rolled--at least a couple hundred yards.
So I was still recovering fro my deep-sea rescue, one kid was screaming in pain, and the other was running down the beach after a $2 floaty. At least my phone cooled down so I was able to frantically text DH to bring down the vinegar and help us Sherpa all of our beach gear back to the condo.
By that time PS was feeling better, so we all schlepped back to the condo and crashed for a nap. I can now feel every single muscle in my shoulders and back. At least I got a nice work-out.
We started off at the little zoo that could--a lovely little zoo full of playful critters that you can get a bit closer to than at most of the big zoos we've visited. And the girls got to ride a camel and play with lemurs.
Unfortunately, halfway through our visit, PS started feeling bad. First she started seeing spots, then she said her head hurt and she was getting nauseous. I had to leave DH and the twins playing with the lemurs while I ran PS back to the condo. She cried the whole way back. I'm pretty sure she was suffering from her first migraine. I gave her a dose of super Excedrin and a cold washrag on her head and left her alone in a cool dark room for a while.
After I retrieved the rest of the family from the zoo, I took the TT and SS down to the beach while DH stayed with PS in the condo. The wind was blowing today and the waves were crashing hard. I took the kids' boogie board into the the water and was immediately rolled into the sand, and have road rash (sea rash?) on my shin to show for it. For the rest of the afternoon a stream of blood slowly leaked down my leg.
A little later I had retired to the beach with a magazine while the girls played in the surf. SS had a floaty mat and TT had a ring. They started floating a little down the beach from me. They were right at the edge of my comfort level. And, then, within a minute, they were beyond my comfort level. I started walking down the beach toward them, reached TT quickly. I could hear SS yelling at her, and from the tone, I knew she was scared. I ordered TT back to the beach, and headed out toward SS. Even as I was moving toward her, the ocean seemed to be drawing her farther and farther away.
I am not an athlete, but, thankfully, I have always been a strong swimmer. Still, about halfway toward SS I started getting worried. I couldn't touch at all, and she still looked so far away. We weren't on a public beach, so there was no lifeguard. Only a handful of other people, who I hoped were paying attention. Three-quarters of the way there, I was getting tired and really worried. It was pure mommy adrenaline that got me to SS. I finally nabbed the end of SS's mat and side-stroked my way back to shore. It was a whole lot easier getting back to shore than going out. But by the time we did get back my heart was beating about a thousand beats per minute and I was breathing hard. I think it took two hours for my heart rate to come back down.
Once we got back to the beach, I plopped down to text DH. But my iphone said that the temperature was too high to operate. (WTF?) So I carefully balanced it in the cooler. In the meantime, the girls went back to collecting shells in the surf.
And then SS got stung by a jellyfish. So she comes up to me screaming. And, of course, I'd left the bottle of vinegar back in the condo. Right at that moment the wind grabbed TT's floaty ring and rolled it, on it's side down the beach. It rolled and rolled and rolled--at least a couple hundred yards.
So I was still recovering fro my deep-sea rescue, one kid was screaming in pain, and the other was running down the beach after a $2 floaty. At least my phone cooled down so I was able to frantically text DH to bring down the vinegar and help us Sherpa all of our beach gear back to the condo.
By that time PS was feeling better, so we all schlepped back to the condo and crashed for a nap. I can now feel every single muscle in my shoulders and back. At least I got a nice work-out.
8/7/11
The Leisurely Life
We made it to our vacation condo., after a 12 hour drive yesterday. Of course, the drive took a little longer after a spontaneous detour through a Civil War battleground. The battleground wasn't particularly exciting, but along the battleground tour we stumbled upon a war ship that had been sunk and then raised in the 1960's. It was very cool and definitely made the detour worthwhile.
This morning it was ungodly hot and humid. We came from hot and humid., so I didn't expect the heat to affect us. Here is is less hot and more humid which I think is worse that the more hot and less humid that we came from.
We delayed going to the beach so that we could stock up on groceries and floaties (because we hadn't already dragged enough crap with us). Fortunately, but the time we made it back to the condo, showers had moved through, dropping temperatures and taking the humidity with them. We spent the rest of the afternoon until sunset on the beach, and the kids are begging to go back first thing in the morning. Yep. We have absolutely nothing planned, except on Tuesday when I have reserved a pontoon boat so that we can explore the bay.
So far this vacation is going well.
This morning it was ungodly hot and humid. We came from hot and humid., so I didn't expect the heat to affect us. Here is is less hot and more humid which I think is worse that the more hot and less humid that we came from.
We delayed going to the beach so that we could stock up on groceries and floaties (because we hadn't already dragged enough crap with us). Fortunately, but the time we made it back to the condo, showers had moved through, dropping temperatures and taking the humidity with them. We spent the rest of the afternoon until sunset on the beach, and the kids are begging to go back first thing in the morning. Yep. We have absolutely nothing planned, except on Tuesday when I have reserved a pontoon boat so that we can explore the bay.
So far this vacation is going well.
8/4/11
Baby It's Hot Outside
I have tried not to complain about the heat. I'm just thankful that I'm not pregnant. I carried PS during the second hottest summer in [my hot state's] history. I think we've surpassed that, and it's now the third hottest summer. But it was hot and I was hugely pregnant and miserable and we lived in a crappy duplex where the air conditioner broke every other week.
So this summer hasn't been so bad. I'm not pregnant and I pretty much go from my air conditioned house to my air conditioned car to my air conditioned office and then back again.
Until yesterday. Our house was uncomfortably warm last night at 80 degrees. I though the a/c was just having trouble keeping up in 110 degree heat. But we woke up this morning sticky and sweaty and realizing that the a/c definitely was not working.
We called our neighbor who is an a/c guy, but he was already off on another job. Fortunately, though, he was able to help DH diagnose the problem on the phone and after a quick trip to the parts store we were back in business. Total cost-- $60 and a six-pack for the neighbor.
But the heat seems to be making people crabby. This morning the gate to my office parking garage wasn't working. The lady in front of my kept swiping and swiping her card to no avail. So, since I was stuck behind her, I hopped out of my car to try my card. (I knew she worked in my building because I've been trying to figure out her vanity plate (CU AT PK) for a year.) The gate didn't work when I swiped my card either. So she snatched my card out of my hand and said, "Let me try it." After swiping unsuccessfully another 5 times, she shoved my card at me and said, "I can't believe this, today of all days." Never did her mouth utter a "thank you" for trying to help out.
Then at lunch an equally cranky woman was excessively bitchy to the guys who work the little cafe in my building. I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling her to drop the attitude. Instead I was just extra nice to the cafe guys (these guys make my lunch multiple times a week, I'm always nice to them, anyway).
Seriously, is it necessary to take your crappy attitude out on everybody around you? Eat some damn chocolate and get over it.
8/1/11
Layoffs
A few weeks ago my co-worker was let go. My firm took great pains to ensure that I knew that it was a performance based decision as opposed to an economic one. And that my position was secure. That they fully intended to replace co-worker.
Today a secretary was laid off. The reason: the firm has decided not to replace co-worker after all. So we are (were) overstaffed. It was a business decision--an economic one. Quite a different tale than the one I heard a few weeks ago. But again my firm took great pains to assure me that my position is secure.
So I am the low (wo)man on the totem pole, and it now looks like it will be that way for a while. This doesn't exactly give me warm fuzzies--even though my bosses were highly complimentary of me after both incidents.
On the one hand, I anticipate that I would be the next one out the door if the economy worsens. And I don't know if I would see it coming, because I'm pretty sure the last two didn't (although I definitely noticed enough buzzing in the office both times around to know something was up).
On the other hand, I've been busy since my co-worker left. I am the only full-time associate supporting 5 partners. I think they'd be in trouble without an associate. But it also means that I get all the crap jobs that the partners don't want to do, and that would typically be handed to a lower-level associate. I'm just not sure how I feel about this scenario. My firm is top-heavy and I don't know if there is enough room left for me to grow.
I guess I have some thinking to do, although I don't know that it even matters in this economy.
Today a secretary was laid off. The reason: the firm has decided not to replace co-worker after all. So we are (were) overstaffed. It was a business decision--an economic one. Quite a different tale than the one I heard a few weeks ago. But again my firm took great pains to assure me that my position is secure.
So I am the low (wo)man on the totem pole, and it now looks like it will be that way for a while. This doesn't exactly give me warm fuzzies--even though my bosses were highly complimentary of me after both incidents.
On the one hand, I anticipate that I would be the next one out the door if the economy worsens. And I don't know if I would see it coming, because I'm pretty sure the last two didn't (although I definitely noticed enough buzzing in the office both times around to know something was up).
On the other hand, I've been busy since my co-worker left. I am the only full-time associate supporting 5 partners. I think they'd be in trouble without an associate. But it also means that I get all the crap jobs that the partners don't want to do, and that would typically be handed to a lower-level associate. I'm just not sure how I feel about this scenario. My firm is top-heavy and I don't know if there is enough room left for me to grow.
I guess I have some thinking to do, although I don't know that it even matters in this economy.
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