Don't be a ping chef this Christmas

Will this be the Mass of your choice this Christmas?

Picture: Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam

Not that I would suggest for one minute that those few who read this blog are, in anyway, ping chefs.

I am certain that good, orthodox Christmas fare is an integral part of the beliefs of all who visit here, and so it should be.

Now, what do I mean by 'ping chef'?

I mean, of course, those cooks who purchase their frozen, pre-packed grub at the Temple of Tesco or the Shrine of Sainsbury's and pop it into a microwave until it goes....yep, you are there ahead of me....ping!

Such food barely nourishes, it lacks flavour, the ingredients may come from diverse parts of the globe and, it probably contains enough chemical additives to fuel a nuclear submarine.

The end result is a meal lacking in substance and flavour.

Can you see where this post is going?

Good, because I'm hanged if I can.

Where was I?  Ah, yes, if you would like to try the following Nigel Slater recipe that Mrs Linen has perfected several times in the past few weeks (it being so delicious), you will not be disappointed.

Eat it with a crisp green salad or, as a fork supper with a loaf of crusty bread - it has a real taste of Christmas about it.

It's called, Sticky Cranberry Sausages and it may also be used as an accompaniment to the turkey....

Exraordinary Christmas fare...

Ingredients

• 2 red onions, sliced
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 400g/14oz uncooked cocktail sausages
• 1 heaped tbsp cranberry jelly
• 200g/7oz fresh or frozen cranberries
• 1 clementine, zest only

Preparation method

1. Fry the sliced red onions in a pan with the oil for five minutes or so until softened. Add the sausages to the pan.
2. As the sausages start to brown, add the jelly and cranberries
3. Cook on a low heat for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally, until caramelised and sticky.
4. Grate over the clementine zest and serve.

And, if you also hunger for something more than a Ping Mass on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, then hunt down a Mass in the Extraordinary Form (what I like to call a Latin Mass, 'cos that's what it was pre 1969).

You did see that one coming did you not?

No? Well, no plum pudding for you this year!

The Latin Mass Society listings for England and Wales are HERE

While, the SSPX (shock, horror!) listings are HERE

26 - 43 More than a third of the Masses in England and Wales this Christmas are SSPX

It's an interesting calculation (based on a rough tally of LMS and SSPX Christmas Masses (Midnight and Christmas Day itself) that 26 of them will be offered by SSPX priests and 43 through the normal parish channels.

Making provision for the Latin Mass is much simpler

On the one hand it is impressive that the Society has such a strong input in the provision of the Latin Mass but, on the other, it is a damning indictment of how poor the provision is within the mainstream Church.

"Oh, but we do not have enough priests" howl their Lordships but they do or, rather, they could have them, if they thought and planned as a business person would.

For a start, they could implement the request made by Pope Benedict for parishes to federate, to form a cluster with a small number of priests at the hub. Centralised to the benefit of the priests (fraternal support both practical and spiritual) and the people (a priest always available day or night).

Perhaps the Bishops could then call a halt to dragging young African, Indian and Philippino priests away from their own countries, where they are desperately needed and, instead, open up a dialogue with some of the traditional orders; the FSSP and ICKSP.

It's not rocket science.

And then, in a relatively short period of time perhaps we would be reflecting on the small number of SSPX Christmas EF Masses compared with the vast number offered by the parish churches.

PS I am grateful to those who pointed out that my original heading did not quite add up. It made a sort of perverse sense in my fevered brain but, it makes much better sense in its amended form.