Five x Five

from Lee Herrick

Five things in my freezer:

1. almond wedding cake with raspberry filling
2. taro buns
3. Whole Foods shelled edamame
4. frozen watermelon
5. shitaki mushroom stock

Five things in my closet (we have a shared closet and I have an office closet - these items refer to my office closet):

1. a massage table
2. a vintage yellow leg-o-matic table set with four chairs
3. a red Fender stratocaster restored by James Casey
4. paper-making kit
5. Polaroid land camera (s)


Five books/magazines on my nightstand:

1. A Comet in Moominvalley
2. Snows Gone By - James Koller
3. Red as a Lotus - Lisa Gill
4. Wild Form, Savage Grammar - Andrew Schelling
5. Anthony Flores' chapbook designed by Roland Murillo

Dreams

I've had a very active dream life during the liver cleanse weeks and this past week, I've had two dreams in which there is a man I have never seen or met, much older, dark-skinned, dark-haired. The dreams are all set in my workplace. He's a VIP who appears at staff meetings of the "Belo Death Star" as we are being called by the Frontburner Blog. This mystery man tells me that he wants to meet with me and it is clear that he has something to share with me or teach me, put I keep putting it off. Perhaps, that is why he appeared in a second dream. He introduces himself. I have trouble with his name, so I ask him to repeat himself twice, so that I can repeat the sound of it, because I want to say "Guillermo" or "Guillaume." But his name is not either of these, but "Guillen." This morning I did a web search on "Guillen" and found this.

Updates

Unnecessary Roughness, which released in 2005, has sold 39 copies to date. Lesson learned? Avoid POD publishing and publication offers in the future. Design quality is compromised and getting reviews was tricky. Also, there were no "comp" copies/author/review copies in the case of UR.

Week 5 of the cleanse. This week, in addition to continuing with the ghee, there is a second phase liver flush which involves a concoction of lemon juice, cilantro, and flax seed oil. It is really sour.

Observable results: better attention to language, speaking from a grounded place. Calmer nature. Things slowing down significantly. Disappearance of hives and skin rashes. But fierce liver headaches on the left side of my head.

We had a great class on Saturday - the last that K and I will be able to attend with New Mexico on the horizon. This class was about healthy liver function. The liver is responsible for processing all drugs/antibiotics, producing tears, ridding the body of toxins, and is directly linked to anger, as well as PLANNING. Ninety percent of why people get angry is because their plans are interrupted. Those who are angriest have had their plans interrupted since birth. Hmmmm. I had my Sunday night plans interrupted for instance with a request from my publisher to fill out a 15-part marketing survey by Tuesday. But it worked out in the end - I had gotten the survey a year ago from another writer who publishes with the press, and the survey which originally took many hours over many days to fill out, underwent some small revisions and I zapped it out.

On the homefront, fires and temperatures are raging in Southern California. Riverside hit 115 degrees on Saturday and experienced a thunder storm with black clouds. I am concerned about my family. For all intents and purposes, it has fallen apart. And my father is sick. And I am trying to coordinate his care long-distance over the phone with a friend who is standing in for a son or daughter. When life falls apart...

I have changed my mind about the Total Life Cleanse. I had my one-to-one session with Dr. Gregg on Friday, had some chiropractice adjustments and released a great deal of grief. The TLC is a tool for reaching a greater clarity and for detoxifying. Detoxifying can be a scary thing. But with it, goes some of the fear of everything. I have been contemplating death a lot lately.

My homes editor likes to say of our other freelancer "Well at least he has a pulse." To that I say, "He might as well be dead." That attitudinal shift has made all the difference in getting my sections done and not depending on anyone for paid help. In this life, in this cleanse, in therapy, we all go it alone. We are all ultimately alone, even when we are partnered. And there is something of value to be learned there. That might sound negative, but I think my current meditation is on death.

New Mexico, 2005

Kort and I are getting ready to go back to New Mexico for our 1-year wedding anniversary. We will go back to Alma del Monte and also be staying at Sunrise Springs outside of Santa Fe. We had hoped to visit with our favorite Lama, Lama Chodrak, but Lama is is Hong Kong at the moment, though he did give us his telephone number and invite us to call.

On a recent visit home, I got to sit down with two of the incredible women who were my bridesmaids last year, Mada and Jenn. They have their own fond memories of Lama Chodrak. On the day before the wedding, before rehearsal, we realized that no one had been dispatched to pick up the Lama who needed a ride to get from Questa to Taos Ski Valley. My parents and brother volunteered and left early, since Questa is some distance from the Ski Valley and they would be driving unfamiliar roads. Apparently they arrived earlier than Lama expected, but they packed up my brother's trunk with the barbecue grill for the fire pit, tree branches, a change of clothes and turned right around to get back to the Ski Valley in time for the rehearsal.

We had the rehearsal in the meadow followed by dinner for the families and everyone involved in the ceremony at The Bavarian. Mada sat next to Lama at the dinner and she picked up that he seemed uneasy. She got it out of him that he had left behind some items in Questa that he would need for the ceremony. "Well, can I take you to buy them?" Mada asked. These were not your average items that could be picked up from any corner convenience store, so after the dinner ended around 7:00 p.m., Mada, Jenn and Lama got on the road to drive out to Questa. At the time, this information was concealed from me - as it would be just another thing to freak out about.

It had been a rainy day and the roads out to Questa are not well-lit. Lama does not drive and his judgment of distances somewhat reflects this. The girls would ask from the front seat every once in awhile, are we almost there yet? Oh yeah, 20 minutes. Forty-five minutes would pass. They'd ask again. Soon the gas gauge started moving towards empty. Is there a gas station around here? Yes, keep driving, another 20 minutes. It's already close to 9 p.m. by now. When they are finally near the turn-off, Lama abruptly announces it and they pull off the main road back into Lama's land. It's pitch dark and the girls are ready to get the stuff and go, but Lama is very proud of his stupa (a very beautiful stupa indeed) and wants to give the girls a tour of the land and he's on his own sense of time. Mada realizes she has to go to the bathroom, but there is no bathroom in Lama's house. So they drive up to the main center, but the building is locked down. Mada is trying hard do not lose her patience or to lose her temper in the presence of Lama. Finally, Mada decides that she has to go, and so she's going to go outside. But the land is sacred and she can't just go anywhere. I think in the end she opted to go near the garden because it seemed slightly "less sacred."

I noticed the girls missing at the after-dinner mixer at Tim's Lost Dog Cantina. My third bridesmaid was there drinking margaritas but the other two were notably absent. I was told that they were feeling tired and went to take a rest. After the mixer, I ran into Kort's brother in the bar of The Bavarian. He'd had a few drinks and when pressed he admitted that Jenn and Mada took the Lama back to Questa. About a 1/2 hour later, close to 9:30 or 10 p.m., the girls showed up and said very little. So it was great to finally get the full-blown story a few weeks ago.

Ghee - what is it and what's its medicinal value?

Vedic seers considered milk to be the most sattvic (peace-producing) food for humankind. From this salubrious nourishment, choice butter, buttermilk, yogurt and ghee are made--that is, when the milk's quality has remained pure and untampered with. Throughout the ages, milk has been used widely but not wisely. Because of the corruption prevalent in today's animal husbandry, we are in danger of losing this sacred food of the earth. The cruel practices engaged in minding the animals, as well as the arsenal of poisons, chemicals and hormones which are used in their feed, all contribute to the misery of this beneficent animal, the impairment of her life-sustaining milk and the dimming of her natural Divine Light. But when butter, yogurt and ghee are made from milk produced by conscious organic dairy farmers, they are considered to be our most nourishing and healing foods. Among them, ghee stands out as the elixir for excellent health.

Sushruta, an ancient Ayurvedic seer, regarded ghee as an intelligence-building principle that fosters the body's confidence and virility. Another ancient, Charaka, praises ghee's ability to promote memory and immunity within the body. From the perspective of sadhana, spiritual discipline, ghee is associated with the body's element of love. Its dominant action allows it to soothe our vital tissues. In Ayurveda, ghee is used as a primary vehicle for conveying herbal powders, essences and medicines into affected tissues because it penetrates them and enlivens vital tissue memory, soothing the body, mind and spirit of the patient.

Ghee also builds ojas, the body's primordial immunological force, thereby reducing fatigue and stress while aiding the body to let go of its toxicity. Ghee may be used in cooking to reduce fatigue, emaciation, loss of appetite and stress from time to time throughout the year. Since the nature of ghee is usually peaceful and nourishing, it accommodates all metabolic types, restoring agni, digestive fire, and allowing the body to adjust to its newly attuned state of revitalization.

A few stories may best serve to illustrate the vast healing powers of ghee. Lynn had a severe strep infection in her throat. After one week of gargling with ghee, turmeric and warm water, her throat infection was gone. Eric, who had a chronic case of psoriasis, treated his condition by applying a poultice made from ghee and neem powder. One month later, Eric's skin ailment was completely cured. Gita had suffered from years of nervous exhaustion, constipation and insomnia by the time she came to me for help. Along with dietary help, I recommended a simple tea made from hot water, ghee and triphala which she took for three months every evening after dinner. Her condition is now vastly improved.

For centuries ghee has been used as a remedy during the seasonal junctions when diseases tend to become more prevalent. At the onset of spring, a tablespoon of ghee may be taken with a few pinches of turmeric every morning for a week or so. Similarly, a tablespoon of ghee can be taken for a week at the commencement of summer with a teaspoon of unrefined brown sugar; at the onset of the rainy season combined with a few pinches of rock salt; at the arrival of autumn with a teaspoon of honey and as winter sets in, mixed with a teaspoon of molasses.

Ghee is made by boiling sweet butter, thereby ridding it of enzymes that could encourage bacteria. The quality of the ghee depends on the quality of the butter, as well as the means of making it and how it is stored. Stored in the right conditions, ghee not only lasts a long time, but its medicinal value increases as it ages. Used in small quantity, ghee is ideal for cooking as it does not burn unless heated excessively. It blends with food nutrients without losing its medicinal quality and therefore soothes and nourishes bodily constituents. Ghee is good for persons of all doshas (constitutional types) and is a specific for pitta. It requires no refrigeration, should be kept covered, away from direct sunlight or heat and protected from any contaminants.

Pitta

Common characteristics of people who have a predominantly Pitta body type

–Medium physique, strong, well-built
- Sharp mind, good concentration powers
- Orderly, focused
- Assertive, self-confident, and entrepreneurial at their best; aggressive, demanding, pushy when out of balance
- Competitive, enjoy challenges
- Passionate and romantic; sexually have more vigor and endurance than Vatas, but less than Kaphas
- Strong digestion, strong appetite; get irritated if they have to miss or wait for a meal
- Like to be in command
- When under stress, Pittas become irritated and angry
- Skin fair or reddish, often with freckles; sunburns easily
- Hair usually fine and straight, tending toward blond or red, typically turns gray early; tendency toward baldness or thinning hair
- Uncomfortable in sun or hot weather; heat makes them very tired
- Perspire a lot
- Others may find them stubborn, pushy, opinionated
- Good public speakers; also capable of sharp, sarcastic, cutting speech
- Generally good management and leadership ability, but can become authoritarian
- Like to spend money, surround themselves with beautiful objects
- Subject to temper tantrums, impatience, and anger
- Typical physical problems include rashes or inflammations of the skin, acne, boils, skin cancer, ulcers, heartburn, acid stomach, hot sensations in the stomach or intestines, insomnia, bloodshot or burning eyes and other vision problems, anemia, jaundice.

Fortitude

Well, Kort and I have made it to week four of the cleanse. I am doing about 90% of the cleanse. I do not qi gong and we heckled the mixed-race couple on the DVD. I have given up sugar, alcohol, wheat, dairy, processed foods and have been taking 10,000 mgs of vitamin C - apparently, scurvy is not just for pirates. I have dropped 10 pounds and developed a series of body pains, rashes, and outbreaks and simultaneous to the cleanse, my yogic therapy/practice of the week is to continue with various postures and breathing exercises and to work on "speaking my truth" to at least one person a day, besides Kort. Which is to say that the Total Life Cleanse is more of a guidelines for sustainable living than a customized Ayurvedic program for the individual which has been disappointing. Ayurvedic body types are like Buddha families, we've got all of them, vatha, pitta and kapha, though individual constitution may be predisposed to one or the other. But you don't treat viruses with bacterial pro-biotics no matter how much you put the doctor on a pedestal and sooner or later you get to a place where your body speaks to you its own inner wisdom and says fuck the rest. I have never in my life eaten meals cooked in butter (ghee) and am suffering through it and excreting ghee from my pores. I did not give up the media in week two, and I have not given it up now - and with the war in Lebanon and Bush trivializing the conflict as "shit," well I'd rather be engaged and aware. Detachment and clarity are key. Anthropology essay number one is written for the Goldsmiths program and I have been hitting the books hard on fieldwork and case studies. In the mean time, I suffer temperature fluctuations, inflammation, intense hunger and fatigue. A friend asked me why I don't quite go to see a western doc, and I said somewhat convincingly this is what detox looks like. Where is the light at the end of the tunnel? Two weeks to go.

Aversion Week

It's Aversion Week here at the Makura No Soshi where we are slamming shots of melted ghee to cleanse fat-soluble toxins from the body as part of Week 4 of the Ayurvedic cleanse. Gag.

I'm Your Man

I'm Your Man
Originally uploaded by shinyu32.

We went to see the Leonard Cohen documentary last night at the DMA. The film needed more Leonard Cohen and more narrative continuity - you come away knowing very little about the man - but there are some really nice moments. Rufus Wainwright, who performs "Everybody Knows", "The Chelsea Hotel", and "Hallelujah" in the film tells a great story about meeting Cohen for the first time, who is also his friend's dad. When Wainwright walks into the apartment, Cohen is in his underwear, cooking a pot of soba noodles and chewing on tiny sausages that he is regurgitating to feed to an injured bird. Then he steps away into the bedroom to get dressed and comes out wearing an Armani suit at which point, Rufus Wainwright bolts to upright attention, recognizing oh my god it's Leonard Cohen. Such a "snappy dresser!"

Before Cohen was a singer, he was a poet. He has been practicing Zen Buddhism for 30 years and lived on Mt. Baldy where he studied and practiced. He became an ordained priest because it was the protocol in order for him to continue studying, and says in a wonderful moment of humor that he became a priest because he had to and he hated everybody but no body knew because he was generous to everyone.

Brief Encounters with Che Guevara

Dallas writer Ben Fountain's new book is officially available. Buy it here. Ben will be doing a promo reading at Barnes & Noble in Dallas on August 29. Proceeds from book sales will benefit WordSpace.

Drawing Restraint

Drawing Restraint
Originally uploaded by shinyu32.

At the beginning of my cleanse week on violence/media saturation two weekends ago, I happened to go to a viewing of Matthew Barney's new film at The Fort Worth Modern. Not the best idea - the film was filled with graphic images of cannibalism and human dissection. That aside, the build up to those moments was aesthetically fascinating.

There is an interesting tea ceremony staged on board a whaling vessel where Barney and Bjork are served thick tea by the ship's captain. The implements include a "scoop" fashioned from a nautilus shell, a tea caddy made from a sea anemone, and a whisk which is an improvised sea shell with spines. The tea bowl is a strange whitish form that looked less like a sea shell and more like a Barney sculpture. Barney addresses the captain in English and he answers in Japanese. Bjork speaks to the captain in Japanese. At the point where there is haiken, Barney asks about the "vessel" and gets instead of an elaboration on the tea vessel, an explication on the ship itself and the lump of ambergris (whale vomit) that has recently passed thru a whale and been brought on board.

There were moments in the film where it was like watching a music video - images of nymph-like divers with pearls dripping from their mouths, a woman playing an oddly shaped instrument, Bjork waiting to be picked up by a boat, while wearing a red cape with fuzzy balls sewn along the hemline. Barney looking somewhat romantic and Russian in a car-length fur-like coat and...blue jeans. I think they were Levi's. He gets his hair shaved by a crew member in an interesting scene where he is taking a nap, awakening to find an opened beer can next to him.

Southwest Writers and Artists Festival

New lit fest in Texas to premiere in October: The Southwest Writers and Artists Festival. Events will take place from October 24-26. The college will be bringing in Lorna Dee Cervantes, Nathaniel Tarn (!!!), and other writers of note. I'll be there presenting as well....

Weekend Roadtrip to San Antonio

I read here on Friday night and taught a day-long workshop on Saturday. Attendance for the Friday reading was excellent - we had what seemed like well over 50 people packed into the colorful reading space at Gemini Ink at 513. S. Presa. The Saturday class went well and the students were an engaging and talented bunch. Two women came down all the way from Austin. Several of the students were alums of workshops at Gemini and two of the students, if I remember right, already had their MFAs.

San Antonio was hot and steamy and there were 40,000 to 60,000 additional people in town for a Christian youth conference at the convention center, many of whom were staying at our hotel. It was crowded and noisy and not the best weekend to be in S.A., but the town is incredibly charming.





On the way back, we stopped in the town of Italy, Texas, just outside of Waxahachie. We've apparently driven past this town on several occasions, but I'd always been asleep. Off Interstate 35W, there are these strange dome-like structures that seem to be used for storage and/or studio space. Several are lined up together to form a multi-color giant caterpillar which is painted with boots on the side facing the highway.







And right before you get to the monolithic caterpillar, you first run into the Pegasus Starship, a knock-off of the Starship Enterprise which also doubles as a mini-golf park - super mini - as in about 3 holes.





It was very difficult to tell whether or not the project had been abandoned. As we pulled up, I snapped a shot of the graffiti.

Lit Fest

I'm reading in the San Antonio City Vision/Urban Words fest tomorrow sponsored by Gemini Ink. Stop by San Antone and say hello if you are in the neighborhood.

Cleanse report

Well, I've hit some roadblocks this week with the Total Life Cleanse. The media ban is not really working for me. I am a news junkie and I work at the newspaper. There were many years where I proudly did NOT own or watch television, read news on the Internet, or read the newspaper. I was out of the loop. I didn't even own a cell phone. And all that changed with 9-11. I was out of work in Boston, we'd just moved East, and I went down to the Harvard employment office where the facilities were shut tight and flyers were up on the glass doors with a note that said in respect for what had happened in New York, everyone had gone home. Kort got the news at NESA, where he and his peers watched the news unfold in the student lounge. We went out that afternoon to The Phoenix on Central Ave. in Cambridge and watched the big-screen television for several hours, watching the same images over and over again.

For me, the greater challenge may be giving up reading the emotional train-wreck of some blogs and websites like Smoking Gun or Crime Library which feed Sedaris-esque neuroses about sex offenders and murderers lurking on every street corner and under my nose - hide that butcher knife on the kitchen counter! That will be an essay for a collection of essays some day. I think of the older man I dated in Chicago who kept a rotting cow's skull in a plastic bag, had a walk-in closet dedicated to his cat's defecation on the carpet, rotting food in the fridge, maggots on the carpet, and more trash and mess than a Mormon family of 7 kids in Riverside.

Despite the media ban, part of this week's homework was to read articles on the environment, pollution, genetically-modified foods, chemicals in computer keyboards such as the one I type on, etc. The lack of balance in terms of what comes into one's field of experience, untempered by any practice, has made the cleanse difficult to sustain. Add to that a right speech clause in our assignments and I find myself saying more than ever phrases like "I hate..." and "....is stupid" and swearing like a sailor. An angry liver or cleanse detox, I'm learning that I don' t like to have my experience of language controlled.