Miasmatic Review

MEME, oh my.

My latest spawn, Petey, has tagged me with a meme, I’m not sure what I’ve done to him, but since it’s been a while, I’m going to play along.

The rules:

1. Post the rules of the game at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

What were you doing five years ago?

Five years ago at this time I was in a great amount of pain that I kept hid from my family really well. I had jacked up my knee something fierce in 2000 and had refused to have the surgery they wanted done on it because I had just started a new position and couldn’t afford to take the time off of work. By June of 2003 I was seeing an orthopedic specialist and taking oxycontin for the pain. I had worn away all of the cartilage in my knee and had bone grinding on bone. I ended up having knee surgery in August 2003.

What are five things on your to-do list for today?
1) Finish packing my gear for the canoe trip I’m going to take with Petey and Wil. I’m pretty sure they are planning on tying me to a log and leaving me in the middle of the river… after trying to have their way with me.
2)Drink Beer.
3)Do the dishes.
4)Drink moonshine.
5) Try to talk Ktreva into doing that thing I like a lot that she hardly ever does, but is really good at it. I mean I am going to be gone with a bunch of guys for three days!

What are five snacks you enjoy?
1) Beer
2) Whiskey
3) Ice Cream
4) Popcorn
5) Chips and dip.

What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?

1) Pay off the debts of myself, my immediate family, my closets friends and a couple of random people that I think just need a break.
2) Buy a large plot of land and build my dream house on it including an area to host my own rendezvous.
3) Open my own bar. If I’m already a Billionaire I don’t care if I make a lot of money at it, I just want a place to hang out that I really like. He’ll I probably wouldn’t even work there!
4) Help various Boy Scout and youth organizations financially. I’d set up a fund so that each year various groups meeting the criteria could get new equipment, money for camps or for what ever various projects they have. NO STRINGS ATTACHED (Glares angrily at the United Way.) If we want to turn America’s youth around, we need to bring back the support for these organizations.
5) Try to talk Ktreva into doing that thing I like a lot that she hardly ever does, but is really good at it. You just don’t understand, she’s really good at it, and she just doesn’t do it that often. Maybe if I were a Billionaire she’d do it more often!

What are five of your bad habits?
1) I drink… a lot.
2) I tend to let my emotions hold up until I burst letting them out on someone (who usually deserves it). IE how many times I’ve gone to sensitivity class.
3) I bite my fingernails.
4) When I meet someone new I profile them and decide if I’m going to get along with them or not usually with in the first 5 minutes. My first opinion rarely changes.
5) I keep trying to talk Ktreva into doing that thing I like a lot that she hardly ever does, but is really good at it. Look, I’d smash my left testicle with a hammer and still enjoy it… she’s that good!

What are five places where you have lived?
1) Cherry Valley, IL
2) Macomb, IL
3) Rockford, IL.
4) Yea… that’s it. I’m not giving you individual address.
5)

What are five jobs you’ve had? (A short list)
1) Welders Assistant.
2) Cell Phone assembly worker.
3) Law-enforcement.
4) Inventory Specialist (Management)
5) Supervisor. (No, I’m not telling you where. If you don’t know where I work already, that’s because we haven’t met face to face.)

Okay…

Five people to tag huh. Let’s go with Bloodspite, Shadoglare, Richmond, Harvey, and Roses. Because I care.

I'll take movies for 150.

Harvey, my semi-retired and only remaining Blog father has tagged me with a movie meme. Since he’s semi-retired I’m surprised he actually did a meme, let along tagged me with it. Then again he didn’t actually tag me. Sure he did at the end of his post but he didn’t send me an e-mail or comment letting me know. I had to stumble across it on my own. Sadly enough looking at this meme, I think I’m going to blow a lot of people out of the water. I love movies and have watched quite a few of them.

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. Copy this list, check the movies you've seen, add them up, and include the number in your post title.

()Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x)Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 16 (That’s not a good start)

(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
(x) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 25 (Getting worse)

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
(x) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 35 (Perfect section!)

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
(x) Seed of Chucky
(x) Bride of Chucky
() Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 45 (Just doubled Harvey’s score!)

(x) Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
(x) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
(x) The Fog
() Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 56 (Uh oh!)

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
(x) My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 66 (Almost to geek mode!)

() Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks!
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 76 (9 more to go!)

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
(x) Shrek 3
Total so far: 93 (Wooo Hooo, Soy un perdedor!)

(x) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
() The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
(x) Kippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 99 (One shy of triple digits)

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 105 (Gah, it keeps going!)

() Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 109 (A lot of movies I didn’t want to see in this grouping)

() The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
(x) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
(x) Willard
Total so far: 117 (Maybe I should quit?)

() High Tension
(x) Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
(x) Phantasm
( x) Waterworld
Total so far: 126 (I’m starting to get depressed)

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat (It’s Grau’s fault for this one!)
() Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
(x) The Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
(x) Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 133 (Gah!)

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
(x) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage (I know it as The Ewok Adventure)
(x) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 141 (So I like Star Wars)

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal
Final total: 150

If there was ever any additional proof needed that I don’t have a life, or that I really, really, really like movies; this about does it. I’m just glad it didn’t ask me to list which of these I’ve owned or the number of times I’ve watched some of these movies. There are some movies on this list that I’ve never heard of, then again I’ve probably watched more unknown movies that most than most people.

So whom am I going to tag with this piece of tripe?
Well I’m going to hit:
Bruce of Back to the Batcave: Dangers of being BlogSpawn.

Virtue of Rantings of an Indentured Servant: See above excuse.

Boudicca of Boudicca’s Voice: Because she spawned me with Harvey and Grau.

OddyBobo of Bobo Blogger: Because I still owe her.

Caltech Girl of Not Exactly Rocket Science: Because after her stint in Jury Duty, this should be easy.

I won't do it!

Dr Phat Tony, who has been on some kind of blogging hiatus, comes back just to tag me with the 8 facts meme. Since I’ve already done the 5 weird facts meme, and the 6 weird facts meme, I figure that is 11 facts about me that you all know. I feel this should sufficiently cover the 8 facts that he would like me to share.

Plus I really don’t think you all want to know anymore about me.

What really gets my goat (Not meaning Jill. whom I wanted killed, slaughtered and then served at a Bar-b-que.) is that he didn't even have the nerve to tell me, I had to do my random, "is he alive" checks to discover it.

You owe me beer Dr. Phat Tony!

That boy ain't right.

For the love of Jack Daniel’s! It seems that blogspawn Bruce had his meme cherry popped by Blog Grandpappy Harvey. Yea, I know who’s cherry hasn’t Harvey tried to pop? In vengeance over the whole thing he tags me with the 8 random facts MEME.

Eight random facts? I swear in December of 2005, I was tagged with 5 weird facts, and then in April of 2006 I was tagged with the 6 weird facts or habits meme. Who the hell keeps this thing going and keeps adding facts? Why, why can’t you leave some of us alone and in peace? Why must you sit there and make us bare our souls to the world? It’s because you’re a sadistic little couch monkey isn’t it?

Anyway, 9 “random” facts about me. Okay here are the rules:
Players start with 8 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts. Players should tag eight other people and notify them that they have been tagged.

A) There is always some form of alcohol in my house that I will never drink. I don’t know why, but it’s there. Right now I have 5 small bottles of tequila and some funky flavored rum that I can’t stand. Yet, I refuse to dump it down the sink

2) I collect key chains. I have over 1,000 of them. I’m not sure exactly how many because I stopped counting years ago. There are so many of them, I can’t even display all of them anymore. Only the ones I like are displayed.

D) I own more knives then any two people I know. They are all over the place. I display some, I have some in drawers, and I have a bunch in boxes in the basement. Hell, I’ve even carried a knife with me everywhere I go since I was 12, even to school.

4) I can fall asleep at night in under 30 seconds most of the time. This irritates the hell out of my wife. I can lay my head on the pillow and be asleep faster then it takes her to find a comfortable position in the bed.

G) I have nicknames for everyone I have ever met. They just don’t know what they are, and I normally don’t share them with that person or anyone else. Mainly because I can’t remember their real names when I first meet them and I have to have a way to catalog their face in my memory.

5) I once was arrested for urinating in public. That is a story for another time.

E) I spent a weekend testing a theory that a professor of mine stated in college that a person could survive on beer and vitamin supplements with no ill effects. She was a damn liar, and even though it was happy 5 days, I’ll never repeat it. (This is a story for another time, oh and my weekends went from Wednesday through Sunday in college)

8) Finally. I harass and pick on people that I like. If I harass you, pick on you, or make slightly snarky/mean comments to you in jest… it’s because I like you. Yea, I never really grew up as a child.

And I’m not tagging anyone with this, because… well most of us have done it already.

Movie Meme *UPDATED*

Everyone is doing this movie meme. I’m assuming out of respect for my hatred of meme’s no one has tagged me with it. However, this is one that I would like to do, so I’m going to take a swing at it.

Pick out ten favorite movies, then look them up at IMDb. In the overview at the top of each movie’s page, there are “Plot Keywords,” usually five of them. (Plus more, if you click the link.) Take the first five, and post them. Then the rest of us get to play movie buff and see if we can guess them.

Well those are the official rules; I’m also going to add a quote, just to help because so far this meme has been stumping people.

UPDATE: For the ones people have correct, I've put the names of the movie after it.

1) Sideburns / Gettysburg / American Civil War / Biographical / Epic “To be a good soldier you must love the army. To be a good commander you must be able to order the death of the thing you love” Gettysburg C'mon the name was in the clues.

2)Male Nudity / Tragic Hero / Crushed Head / No Opening Credits / Brave “There's a difference between us. You think the people of this country exist to provide you with position. I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom. And I go to make sure that they have it.” Braveheart

3) Survival Horror / Survival / Grindhouse / Exploding Head / Black Comedy “You never point a gun at anyone, mister. Scary, isn't it? Isn't it?”

4)Wuxia Fiction / War / Kiss / Smuggler / Outer Space “Oh. I thought they smelled bad on the *outside*” Empire Strikes Back

5) Expedition / Gender Clash / Satire / Beer / Camping In Wilderness “I have a lot of fantasies about being tied up and spanked. I suppose it isn't very liberated, is it? What kind of fantasies do feminists have?” Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death

6) Cult / Splatter / Disturbing / Ghoul / Survival “Good shot! OK, he's dead; let's go get 'im. That's another one for the fire.”

7) Cabin / Good Versus Evil / Cult / H.P. Lovecraft / Dark Comedy “Kill her if you can, loverboy.” Evil Dead

8) Holiday / Compassion / Diner / Existentialism / Buddhist “People like blood sausage too, people are morons.” Ground Hog Day

9) Sex With The Dead / Convenience Store Clerk / Anti Social / Disrespect / Ex Girlfriend “You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.” Clerks

10) Bayou / Lawn Mower / Coach / College / Ridicule “You can do it... you can do it all night loong!” The Waterboy

Here’s a bonus one. I’d be surprised if anyone actually gets it, or has seen it.

Bonus) Hit And Run / Neo Nazi / Topless / Explosive / Crushed Head “Well America, there you have it, Frankenstein has just been attacked by the French Air Force and he's whipped their derrieres!”

Since I wasn’t technically tagged, I don’t have to tag anyone else, and I’m not going to.

I’ll put up the answers in the extended entry later this week. That is if no one figures them out.

Musical.

I found this MEME and decided just to do it. I was bored.

What's your favorite song by...

The Beatles?
uh, to be honest I don’t like the Beatles

The Rolling Stones?
Don’t really like them either.

Frank Sinatra?
uh… this is going to be a long meme.

Elvis Presley?
Heartbreak Hotel

Bob Dylan?
ahem… yeah, don’t like him

The Who?
Who Are you? It’s because of this song I started watching CSI

Led Zeppelin?
Immigrant Song

Johnny Cash?
Ring of Fire

Aerosmith?
Love in an Elevator

Elton John?
Tiny Dancer

Any Motown act from the 60's?
hehe, uh… sorry.

James Brown?
It’s a Man’s World

The Eagles?
Hotel California (Yea, I know)

Fleetwood Mac?
Landslide… because of Ktreva.

The Carpenters?
Anything that they do that involves power tools… what? What other kind of Carpenters are there? Oh, hehe, sorry don’t know them.

Billy Joel?
Uptown Girl

Michael Jackson or the Jackson 5?
Thriller!

The Ramones?
I Wanna Be Sedated.

U2?
The only thing worse then the Irish are psuedo hippy Irish.

Lou Reed or the Velvet Underground?
Uh… Is this one a joke?

The Stooges or Iggy Pop?
Not a fan at all.

Stevie Wonder?
I just called to say I love you

Hank Williams (Sr.)?
Don’t like me the Country music that much.

Hall & Oates?
Uhhh… I’m not familiar enough with them to list anything.

Madonna?
Madonna Sucks

Janet Jackson?
Janet Jackson Sucks even more.

Black Sabbath or Ozzy?
I have to pick one? No More Tears… for personal reasons.

Alice Cooper?
Poison

Bob Marley?
Really, does anyone actually have a favorite song of his?

Any rap artist?
ICE ICE BABY! By Rob VanWinkle… AKA The Vanilla ICE!

Nirvana?
The best thing that happened to this band was Cobain taking a dirt nap.

Foo Fighters?
Best of You.

Neil Young?
Not a fan.

The Cure?
Sorry, I like life.

The Smiths?
Well, they have a nice care, but I’m not supposed to compete with the Smiths next door.

Talking Heads?
Once in a Lifetime.

The Flaming Lips?
Seriously, someone is joking right?

Sonic Youth?
It’s been over 10 years since I’ve heard anything from them.

R.E.M.?
It’s the end of the world as we know it (And I feel fine)…

Liz Phair?
Supernova

Radiohead?
Creep

The White Stripes?
Seven Nation Army

Neutral Milk Hotel?
This one has to be made up.

Since I did this one voluntarily, I’m tagging no one. However, if you do decide to give it a shot, let me know. I’ll give ya some love.

Christmas Meme

Bloggless reader Smokepoles sent me this meme via e-mail. Hey, he called it a meme, and says I have to do it. I’m not sure where he found it at, but since he actually knows where I live, I’m going to do it.

1.Wrapping paper or gift bags? Bags, I can’t wrap a gift to save my life.

2.Real tree or artificial? Real, I like fire hazards. It makes life more interesting.

3.When do you put up the tree? After I buy it.

4.When do you take the tree down? When I get around to it. ( last year it was Superbowl weekend)

5.Do you like eggnog? Hell yea, especially when it’s real eggnog with brandy.

6.Favorite gift you received as a child? My official red rider carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.

7.Do you have a nativity scene? Sure do, every time I tell the boys Santa’s on the roof they run outside in all their naivety. Er, wait, that said nativity, nope.

8.Hardest person to buy for? The wife, she hates everything I get her. Especially the fish-net stockings and Santa’s little ho outfit.

9.Easiest person to buy for? Clone. Every thing he sees he wants.

10.Mail or email Christmas cards? Pffftttt… that’s what the wife is for. she fills them out, addresses them and sticks them in the mail.

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A home enema kit. God I wish I was joking about that.

12.Favorite Christmas move? A Christmas Carol with Patrick Stewart.

13.When do you start shopping? When ever the wife does it.

14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Uh… no?

15.Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My wife’s cookies. Oh and the ones she bakes too.

16.Clear lights or colored on the tree? What’s with the racial questions? They preferred to be called spectrally enhanced lights. Since I’m a diverse and sensitive kind of guy, I do have spectrally enhanced lights on my tree.

17.Favorite Christmas song? What ever one I start humming in July to annoy people.

18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home, and if I had my choice that’s what I’d do. But I have to travel all over Rockford visiting my family.

19.Can you name all of Santa’s Reindeers? Yes I can, and I know them correctly as Dunder and Blixem not Donner and Blitzen.

20.Angel on the tree top or a star? We have a star now, Ktreva got upset the first year we were together by the way I kept jamming the angel on top of the tree over and over. She felt it was a little… disturbing and obscene.

21.Open the presents on Christmas ever or morning? Both. Extended family on Christmas Eve, from the immediate family Christmas morning.

22.Most annoying thing about this time of year? The people shopping. If only they would let me use a club when I go shopping.

23.Do you have Jebus in your heart this Christmas? What are you trying to imply? I’m telling you T1G and I are just friends; it's platonic. There's no man love there, I don't care what he implies!

24.What would you like for Christmas? My wife wearing last years Christmas gift…. With those black leather knee high heeled boots… and telling me she’ll do what ever I want. Which will start with her unzipping…. You probably don’t want to know the rest.

That’s it. According to the instructions I’m supposed to tag five people with this. Since I haven’t been tagged with a meme in a long, long time, (since April) I really don’t owe anyone, so I guess I’m going to be opening the doors of payback here.

So here we go:

A) Blog momma-sis Boudicca of Boudicca’s Voice. Just for neglecting me.

2) T1G of Drunken Wisdom, I guess I have to give him a chance to redeem himself.

D) Richmond of One for the Road. Just because I haven’t linked to her in a while.

4) Michelle of Quality Weenie, Because she’s beating me in Pick ‘Ems.

E) Tammi of Tammi’s World. Since she’s been stuck up and blowing me off in Pick ‘Ems.

More Weird Facts.

Machelle of Quality Weenie tagged me with the 6 weird habits or facts that I have meme. After trying, futility I might add, to get out of doing it by claiming I have done the 5 weird habits or facts that I have meme, I decided that since I blew off the last 9 memes I’ve been tagged with I’d actually do this one. That and I have the day off.

Six Weird Facts or Habits I have:

A) I profile every person I meet or talk with. It’s an old habit from the old days that I just can’t let go.

2) I will talk to myself out loud, and answer myself… when others are around.

D) Contrary to popular belief, I really am shy. I just mask it really well with drinking and being an arsehole.

4) I have Barbie doll knees. Due to an accident when I was younger I can bend my knees up to 45 Degrees in the wrong direction. This makes for great party jokes.

G) When I’m drinking, I like to pretend I’m more intoxicated then I really am. It’s something I started doing when I was in college and now I do it out of habit. This includes slurring and mispronouncing words, pretending to have no coordination and even allowing myself to fall down. If someone calls me on it, or if I’m questioned about my state of mind, I’ll stop doing it… for a while.

6) When I make list I use a funky pattern to number things. IE this list goes A, 2, D, 4, G, 6. And if it weren’t for the fact that it’s supposed to be 6 things, the last one would not be a 6.

And I’m not tagging anyone with this piece of tripe… Well no one except my wife Ktreva, I just want to see how many times I make her list. Like A) I married Contagion, that’s just farkin’ weird!

This is just stupid.

Bloodspite, what can anyone say about that bastard guy. Besides photoshopping innocent peoples heads onto other's bodies he seems to like to tag people with memes.

I just met the guy last weekend, he could have cut me some slack. So here we go:

1: Black and White or Color; how do you prefer your movies?

Color. Too many of the Black and White movies just don’t entertain me.

2: What is the one single subject that bores you to near-death?

Math. To my math friendly friends I must apologize, it just bores me.

3: MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: what is your favorite medium for prerecorded music?

CDs, I don’t even own an MP3 player. I like the ease in which I can find songs I like.

4: You are handed one first class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and ten million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going ... ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?

Not a chance in hell. How could I leave my truck family?

5: Seriously, what do you consider the world's most pressing issue now?

The serious lack of decent politicians. I haven’t seen a politician that impresses me since I was in grade school. (Does it really take much to impress a grade schooler politically?)

6: How would you rectify the world's most pressing issue?

Make myself supreme ruler for life, do away with the government as it is and high-level positions with people I trust and/or like.

7: You are given the chance to go back and change one thing in your life; what would that be?

Nothing, I like my life. Although maybe I wouldn’t have drank that extra beer that one night back in college… but that’s a different story.

8: You are given the chance to go back and change one event in world history, what would that be?

Ohhh, this is such a loaded question. I’m thinking I’d talk Bonnie Prince Charlie into sacking London.

9: A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole' Opry --Which do you choose?

I think I’d rather have a date with a power drill and my nasal cavity. Since that’s not a choice I’m going to say Grand Ol’ Opry. I’m not a fan of country music, but they might serve beer there!

10: What is the one great unsolved crime of all time you'd like to solve?

What ever happened to DB Cooper.

11: One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal?

Tough one, there are so many I like, but I’d have to go with Thomas Paine, that’s just Common Sense. As for what I'd serve, umm. I don't know, what ever the wife makes.

12: You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky -- what's the first immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact?

I plead the fifth. Family, friends and people from work read this blog.

I tag no-one, just because this was probably one of the least entertaining meme's I've been tagged with.

Brought to you by the letter "F"

I tagged T1G of Drunken Wisdom with a meme back in December. Thus, I cannot be too upset that he has returned the favor to me. Thus with no grief to him, I will kindly respond.

Four Jobs I’ve had:

Inventory Manager

Law Enforcement

Security Guard

Welder’s Assistant

Four Movies I could watch over and over and have: (I have to limit this to four? Shite!)

Groundhog Day

Original Star Wars trilogy

Evil Dead series

Gettysburg (all four and a half hours of it)

Places I’ve lived:

Rockford, Illinois

Macomb, Illinois

That’s it! I’ve been to 48 of the 50 states, but I have only called two cities home.

Four TV Shows I love to watch: (I’m only listing shows that have new episodes this season.)

CSI

Lost

Invasion

Survivor (guilty pleasure. The only reality show I watch regularly)

Simpson’s

Four Places I’ve been on Vacation. (Only four? I could list over 400; I’m going to list four favorite historical sites)

Gettysburg, PA

Mackinac Island, MI

Independence, MO

Washington, DC

Colonial Williamsburg, VA

Four Websites I visit daily. (This is a loaded question, especially with bloggers. Thus, I’m not listing any blogs to prevent whining, complaining or hurt feelings)

My Yahoo Page

Green Bay Packer homepage

Green Bay Packer Message Boards

Sitemeter

NFL Home Page

Four favorite Foods!

Steak.

Sushi

Ballindalloch Chicken

Minnesota Eggs Benedict (As by Doc’s Wild Rice)

Hot Wings.

Four Places I’d rather be. (This question is too vague. Does this mean like at this moment, in my life, permanently or on vacation? Right now I’m in a good happy place with what I feel are now good/loyal friends. Hence, I’m going with vacation/weekend spots)

Scotland.

Norway

Any Re-enactment.

Disney World in Florida (I love Epcot)

Nova Scotia.

Four people to whom to inflict this upon.

Obviously, OddyBobo, I still owe her one. I still owe her one

Ktreva because I want to pop her cherry again.

Richmond because she’s been making me think too much with her brainteasers.

Leslie, maybe her pent up energy from quitting smoking can be focused on something else.

Yo-ho-ho, Santa's in the House G!

T1G smacked me with a MeMe. I can’t be too upset with him as I tagged him with one not to long ago. What meme is this? Apparently, Lee Ann of Lee Ann’s View decided there were not enough MeMes in the world and that she wanted to reserve a seat on the buss to hell, so she created this one. That’s right; there is a special place in hell reserved for people that create MeMes. (Oh, I’m watching you now Lee Ann, I’m watching you!) It’s a Christmas themed MeMe; you have to list your top five favorite Christmas movies, ones that get you in the spirit of Christmas.

Here I go:

1) A Christmas Carol. It doesn’t matter which version you watch, but this is my favorite Christmas show. I say show because I especially enjoy it on stage. There is nothing better then watching actors use their craft to spin this Dickens’ classic. My favorite movie version is the one with Patrick Stewart, but the George C. Scott version is a close second.

2) A Christmas Story. I remember the first time I saw this movie. My family was invited to a Christmas party and the host had rented this movie for the kids. I was 11 and Ralphie reminded me a lot of myself. I could connect with him on a personal level. I quote this movie all the time, in fact over the weekend while moving boxes I made a comment about how the items where “fragile” (Fra-GEE-lay), which is French Italian! (H/t to Lee Ann on correcting that.) Of course, no one else got the reference.

3) It’s a Wonderful Life. I love this movie, but I have to admit to you something. I’ve seen the whole thing probably a couple hundred times, but I’ve never been able to sit down and watch it all in one continuous block of time. I always catch pieces of it on TV, or I’ll have to stop the video to do something else. After 32 years of life, you would think that I would be able to do this, but I just can’t. Every year I try, something happens, and I have to stop it or leave in the middle.

4) Santa Claus conquers the Martians. This is a cheesy 60’s sci-fi flick. The special effects are just that, special. The story is hokey and the acting is bland at best. Yet it makes me giggle every time I see it.

5) The Santa Clause. This movie is just hilarious. I haven’t seen the sequel, so I can’t vouch for that one. Tim Allen’s performance in this is hilarious and I love the scene when he is walking through the shop and they have ZZtop playing in the background.

Well that’s it, my five. Now I’m supposed to tag five people. Well whom to tag? Well obviously Oddybobo, like she won’t see this coming after tagging me twice in a row. I should nail Sarah of That’s Not Very Nice, just for the hell of it. Next, I’m going to tag CalTechGirl, I don’t know if I’ve ever tagged her before, but I’m going to today. Hmmm, How about Johnny-oh of Closet Extremist, his choices could be interesting. Finally I’m going to tag Ogre. Why Ogre? Well we all know how much he loves MeMes, plus he has his new festive blog design. This should be right up his alley!

That's just farking weird!

Oddybobo must think I’m her personal whipping boy. She is one meme away from tying Bou for tagging me the most with these things. DAMMIT, that’s two with in 3 weeks she’s hit me with! (I don't care if I did end that sentence with a preposition, I'm so mad I could spit!)Ya know, you’d think I’d done some horrible thing to her family and she’s out to get revenge. Either that or a comment I made in the past is coming back to haunt me, in a very unusual way.

I spent 30 minutes wishing her hair would fall out all at once. No permanent damage, just something that would be difficult to explain during the holidays, it could grow back in January. Then I sat down to look at what this stupid MEME is.

Five weird habits I have. Is this the top five, most common five, most embarrassing five? It doesn’t say, so I guess I just pick five of the couple of thousand strange habits I have.

A) When I’m alone I will scream out nonsense phrases at the top of my lungs while making funny faces. Yep, I’m like a tourettes plagued simpleton when I’m by myself.

2) At night I grind my teeth (not so weird); I’ve done this ever since I can remember. Every time I go to the dentist, they comment on how I’ve drastically altered the shape and density of my teeth. My molars are sharper then peoples incisors. Dentists have bent, BENT, tools on my teeth during check ups and cleaning (Not a habit, but weird). I routinely eat bones just to see other people’s reaction when I easily bite through them. (Weird habit)

D) I cannot remember the last time my fingernails have seen a trimmers. Using my ever-sharpened teeth, I will bite them off in a clean line as to look like they’ve been trimmed.

4) I have never slept for more then 5 hours straight, I always have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. It doesn’t matter if I go to the bathroom right before bed or quit drinking anything four hours before I go to sleep. Inevitably, every night I wake up approximately four hours into the night to go to the bathroom.

E) At night when my wife is sleeping, I’ll stare at her boobs and start to… I’m kidding, jeez people, this is not THAT kind of blog. My last final weird habit is that I like to say things purely for the shock factor of it, no matter how much trouble it brings me.

Finally, I’m supposed to tag five people. Whom to tag? I know!

Dr. Phat Tony. He’s good at making lists, plus this helps me send another link his way for all this stuff: History of Thanksgiving, History of Discovery of America, How to Join the Canadian Army and Girls Gone Wild. Apparently he’s already number one for Humpback Midget.

Bouddica: Because I owe her, and I may as well tag her before she tags me!

Barb: I don’t think I’ve every sent her any link love, and I’m not sure she wants this kind.

Chemicalnova: He’s hiding something over there.

Wes: He just needs something to put up on that blog and he’s NEVER done a meme. Consider your cherry popped BEOTCH!

Remember you have to reveal 5 "weird" habits you have and then "tag" five more unsuspecting idiots people to do it. Yea, I know. Don't blame me, blame Oddybobo. SHE tagged me!

Damn the alarm clocks, Full sleep ahead!

Oddybobo, an ex-favorite blogger of mine, decided that I had been left unmolested by memes long enough. That means she hit me with a meme. What really gets my ire is that this isn’t even one with a loot of room to play with the questions. It’s not like you can give really good disturbing answers like I’ve been known to do.

Let’s get this over, shall we?

1. Do you use an alarm clock to wake up in the morning?

Only on days I want to be rudely woken up by a screeching electronic device instead of waking up naturally. Which is any day I have to go to work. On the weekend I have Clone to wake me up before the crack of 7:00 AM.

2. What time do you set it for?

I don’t, my wife does. She sets it for 5:30 AM. However, like someone else I know, we keep the alarm in our bedroom set about 10 minutes faster then the other clocks in the house. Why? It’s an illusion that you are actually sleeping longer then you really are. Stop looking at me like that.

3. Do you hit the snooze button? If so how many times?

Nope. The clock is on the other side of the room from me, closer to my wife. When it goes off, she gets up and turns it off and makes sure my butt is out of bed. Then she goes back to sleep and I am her snooze alarm.

4. Have you ever abused an alarm clock?

One time when I was in high school I was given an alarm clock that was shaped like a baseball. In order to hit the snooze button you had to throw it. The theory was that after you threw it and the snooze alarm goes off again, you would have to get up and hunt for it, effectively waking you up. The theory was wrong!
Anyway, back to the story, one weekend I accidentally turned it on. It went off at way to early Saturday morning. After being rudely awoken by it, I very angrily grabbed it and threw it as hard as I could. I should have opened my eyes when I did because the next thing I heard was the breaking of glass and a splash. My blind throwing had put my bedroom window in the path of the ball. Then after demolishing the window it landed squarely in the middle of our swimming pool. That clock didn’t work anymore, and for some reason my mother decided not to buy me a new one.

5. It’s time to spread some “It’s Blogcess” linky love.
This isn't a question. Does it actually count?

Rules of the game, so I have been told:

First: Copy and paste #1 - #5 (Make sure to link to: “It’s Blogcess”, which is the link in #5. Because it’s always polite to link to the one who started the linky love.)

Second: Link to my site (because it’s polite to link to the site that tagged you).

Third: Go and tag up to five other blogs, or more if ya like.

Fourth: Email the owner of, or post on the blogs that you have tagged, to inform them that you’ve tagged them.

Oh, whom to tag… Normally I don’t tag people with these, but I’m feeling a little saucy, er I guess that should be sauced, this morning.

1. Ragingmom of The Splatter Zone… because I had a chance to meet her last night.

2. Talulazephyr of Koolaid and Love Stains… again because I had a chance to meet her last night and her blog mom changed the name of her blog from “Love and Koolaid Stains” to “Koolaid and Love Stains”. Don’t ask, you don’t want to know. Ah hell who am I kidding?

3. T1G of Drunken Wisdom. He just has way too much free time.

4. Spurs of Pull My Finger. They guy travels so much; he has to have some good alarm clock stories.

5. Virtue of The Rantings of an Indentured Servant. She was gullible enough to babysit for me last night and this is how I’m repaying her.

There we go. Now I’m going to go back to trying to pickle my head.

Whats on your nightstand?!?!

Once again my blog mama-sis, Bou, tagged me with another meme, the “What’s on your bedside nightstand meme”. You would think that after some of the previous ones I’ve done she would stop doing this. She claims to like the creative way I write my responses. Personally I think she is full of crap and just likes torturing me. With this meme there is not much room for creativity, but there is room for censorship. After some debate with my wife, I decided I’m going to be brutally honest with what is on my bedside nightstand. Read on at your own risk and possible mental images you wished you never had.

1 lamp

1 cordless phone

1 Winston cup racing mug

1 Packer Barrel of Beer mug.

1 Tommy Bartlet show glass

1 Lambeau Field mug

1 Coca-Cola mug

1 Hucks Now “Do the wild thing” mug.

9 used disposable cups stacked.

2 prescription bottles filled

1 Toe Nail Clipper

Dust (I’m a bit of a slob if you haven’t realized by now)

1 bottle of Love Lickers oral sex syrup

1 tube of KY jelly

1 tube of astroglide (empty)

1 tube of O-glide (empty)

1 tube of “O” female orgasm enhancer

1 cock ring… used

1 Twistin’ Sister Dolphin Vibrator (For use on my wife)…. Used

1 pair handcuffs

I think that does it… are you disturbed yet?

As for the cups, Sally and I share a drinking problem. Except mine usually involves my bringing up what ever drink I have in my hand when I decide to go to bed, and forgetting to bring it down the next day.

Update: Apparently my wife is more disturbed that I admited to all of this.

Yet another annoying meme.

Graumagus tagged me with another meme. After spending 30 minutes cursing his name, family lineage and finishing off my ritual to make sure bad things happen to his genitalia, I went to look at what exactly the meme is.

First thing I noticed is that the rules are vague; it appears it is just a link fest. According to what Grau has listed I just link to people and then pass this on to four other people. Okay I could do that, but it seems awfully simple for a meme. These things are terribly annoying. Therefore, I tracked back through the links he had and discovered I am supposed to write five things that I miss from my youth.

Because this is a meme, and boring I put the rest in the extended entry.

I thought about this for a while and you know what, I really don’t miss my childhood. I have a good life with a loving wife, two great boys, many good friends, a good career, two hobbies that make me happy and relieve stress. When I was younger I had to go to school, which I hated, I constantly had to bum money off of my parents, I didn’t have the best relationship with my parents(its much better now), and even though I had no responsibilities, I never had any money to do any of the hobbies I wanted to do. Why would I miss my youth? My life is much better now. I have heard people refer to their youth and High School and College time as “Glory Days”. I view them as a means to an end.

There for I decided to give you details on five things I did as a youth that I actually enjoyed.

1) One time some friends and I * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (Information removed due to statute of limitations not being expired on incident)* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *. That was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, the risk is too great today.

2) One summer I spent some time with my * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (Information removed to protect the innocent)* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *. We learned a valuable lesson that day, it’s all fun and games until you send someone to the hospital.

3) I met this girl when I was * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (Information removed to protect my marriage)* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *. I have never met anyone since that could do anything like that. I occasionally catch myself wondering what ever happened to her.

4)Some friends came over one after noon to * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (Information removed due to incident still being investigated)* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *. I cannot believe they just won’t let that go! It’s not as if we meant for it to happen.

5) My parents went to Europe for a couple of weeks, I decided * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (Information removed to protect a family secret)* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *. They swore me to never speak of it again. It cost them a lot of money to cover it up.

There you go; I hope you enjoyed those stories. Again, I don’t miss my childhood so if this isn’t want you wanted, I’m sorry. I’m supposed to link to people, so here I go:

Subliminalkoolaid
The Gun Line
Righty in a lefty State
Frizzen Sparks
Miasmatic Review.

I am then supposed to tag four others. Well I’m not going to. The MEME police can lick my toes!