I beat Dell

I've been pissed at Dell, once my favorite computer company, for years. We've been buying their products for years, and were happy until Dell sold Mr Charm a computer that didn't work. We called the company and got the usual runaround, the one where they imply with more or less contempt that you are an idiot.

Reader, it never worked. I blamed Mr Charm and he blamed me and we both blamed Best Buy. But when Mr C was in the hospital the first time, no-one could remember his password. So I took the computer to Staples and they couldn't fix it. The problem was a defective motherboard. Turns out the Dell Corporation knew these motherboards were no good but shipped out a number of them nevertheless just in case the consumers didn't notice. Or they might work. Or something.

The latest dust-up was about another of the computers we bought from them. (We bought about ten in the space of four years. Dumb? Yes.) They raised their rates in the middle of our financial disputes and started assessing penalties, late charges, interest, etc etc. By this time the amount owed had snowballed to the point where you would have thought we had bought a private jet.

At some point I stopped paying them. And they started calling me. I told them to stop calling and to sue me if they thought they had a case.

So--they sued me. I received a very legal looking notice which was supposed to scare me, I guess, but both my parents were lawyers and gave me legal documents to draw on the back of, so I had seen plenty of them.

So I wrote a letter to the Court explaining that I had plenty of time and would be defending myself pro se and requesting certain information. They sent me copies of spreadsheets that meant nothing to me, but they postponed the trial date. I was supposed to see them in Court on April 29.

Well, they finally called off the lawsuit. Dell Computer Co, it turns out, is a paper tiger. Nyahhh!

I knew it couldn't just be me!

Dell had computer problems, and I had Dell problems.

In the past five years, we have had serious problems with two Dell computers.  The latest one, after a year of use during which it never worked properly, had a defective motherboard.

I figured it was something to do with me, considering how little I know about computers.  The only thing I actually know about them is:  I need one!

You know how, when you take your car in for service, the mechanic tells you the flugelhorn is defective and the rubella needs a new part, and you try to nod sagely like you understand what he is talking about?  I have the same lack of understanding the most elementary facts about computers.  However, most cars work.

Now imagine you purchase a new car, which is fine but has four perfectly square wheels.  But you are told it's fine.  It's supposed to work that way.

Makes you crazy, doesn't it?  The hell with you, Dell, including all the supercilious Indian male-supremicist outsource guys with ununderstandable accents.  Bad cess to you!