A new type of tv news star

She has straight, really blonde hair, which she shakes around like a pony trying to get rid of a fly; she has a law degree, speaks with a simper and dresses and makes up like a hooker. It helps if she spells her name "cute." Megyn instead of Megan, Kelli instead of Kelly.

Fox News generally features them in pairs, like salt and pepper shakers: one is conservative, one is liberal, and they take turns in uttering banalities from, respectively, the right and the left. They interrupt each other and the newscaster and both talk at the same time, so no one can understand a word either of them is saying.

Somewhere in the Fox News Studio dressing rooms, there is a vat of really shiny lip gloss. Light actually bounces off these women's lips. Just to keep you confused, there is an occasional dark or short haired one.



By a triumph of will, even the lovely Harris Faulkner is transformed into an honorary blonde bimbo. Her lips actually twinkle.