No more pink, please

Yesterday at the drugstore I was asked whether I would like to make a donation to the Komen foundation to fight breast cancer. I most assuredly would not. They are just going to have to struggle on with the millions and millions they have already collected from the millions and millions of concerned citizens.

I am getting sick and tired of breast cancer. You can't get mad at them because it is a worthy cause, and worthy causes are really, well, worthy, aren't they? But I am tired of them, and of buying everything pink from coffee to socks to cars, and from seeing their blasted pink ribbons all over anything and everything.

You reach a point where you've had enough. I totally understand why the citizens of Athens voted to banish Aristides because they were tired of hearing him called Aristides the Just.

What election?

There is a tremendous lack of excitement here in Wilmington. There are yard signs, or rather corner-of-vacant-lot signs, for several local candidates. These signs mention the candidate's name but neglect to identify his/her political affiliation. No Democrats or Republicans here, move on, nothing to see. Some brave citizens actually have yard signs in their actual yards, but these are rarities. As for the presidential race, you would never believe we are having one. I have seen one or two Obama/Biden bumper stickers. I have seen exactly one Obama yard sign, and two for Mitt Romney. Ho hum.

Back to darkness

Waiting in the lab to have my blood drawn, I picked up a magazine that was ostensibly all about health. There was an article advocating an environmental group advocating a cause that was new to me--the dimming of outdoor lights. If this bunch have their way, the Great White Way will become the Dim White Way, the City of Light will be the City of Half-Light, and all the street lights will be reduced to a glimmer, forcing honest citizens going about their business to be terrorized by felons.

Except no-one would be out and about without street lights. Families, consisting of two adults of any gender and one immaculately conceived designer child, would be cowering around the one fluorescent bulb they are allowed to have, huddled together for warmth. Perhaps they could re-locate to a nearby cave, if they are lucky enough to have one.

I am not going to link to the website of this detestable organization, but it does exist. Unfortunately.

a question

Whatever happened to "No blood for oil"? We spilled the blood already, so what's holding up the oil which was the real reason for going to war in Iraq, according to Democrats? Is George W Bush hogging it all for himself?

Eating alone

I like to break bread with others, don't get me wrong. But there's something liberating about eating all by yourself. You can eat whatever you want--peanut butter and banana sandwiches fried in butter appealed very strongly to Elvis Presley, for instance. Ice cream for dinner, eaten out of the carton, slathered in chocolate syrup and chopped walnuts, is tasty and filling, and there are no killjoys emitting negative vibes to take the fun out of it. My brother the genius had no dishes in his apartment when he was a graduate student. If he wanted something to eat, he opened a can of tuna fish and ate it over the sink. What did he use for utensils? We can only speculate. It is a mystery in the same category as the problem of Jack Reacher's underwear or lack of same. I got home the other day ravenously hungry. Some leftover two-day-old pizza, thoroughly dried up, was in the refrigerator. I thought it might be salvageable if covered with melted butter. So I buttered a couple of slices generously and heated them in the microwave. They were delicious.

Awful shorts

This morning the front page of the local fishwrap had not one but two pictures of Delawareans in their national dress: baggy, loose, ill-fitting shorts and a scruffy t-shirt. No wonder the birthrate is down! These shorts would never be acceptable to anyone at any time or with any accessories. They have elastic waists, worn either over or under a paunch, are made of far too much deplorable fabric, and are a perfect length to make any man's legs look awful. You wouldn't want to see Cary Grant in these shorts. Shorts per se need not be awful. Look at the ones the British Army sported in Africa during World War II. But the British are good at uniforms and at menswear generally.

Romney the vote repeller

Mitt doesn't need the media carrying water for Obama, he's doing a fine job of lousing up his campaign his own self. Take his remarks on the 47 percent. Well, Mitt, I am one of these, a person on Social Security and a New Jersey pension, but if you don't want my vote just say so and I'll stay home from the election. BTW, I pay taxes.

Advice for Mitt

Mitt, if you want to be president, stop discussing which Americans you don't worry about, that don't concern you, which Americans are leeches sucking the blood of the productive classes, etc. These remarks don't make you look like a clever fellow, they make you look like a doofus. We already have one of those leading the country.

Genealogy

I've been doing my family tree, but have hit the wall. I did okay with my parents and grandparents, but going farther back is complicated and difficult. For one thing, they kept changing their names. My father's father was originally named Zev, which means wolf in Hebrew, so he called himself Wolf when he came to this country, but didn't like the sound of it, so changed it to William and was known as Bill.

My Aunt Helen was originally named something that translates to Julia but sounds weird because Hungarian is a tough language. So she was Helen. My uncle Andy was Gersh. Don't ask.

My mother's parents were a little easier. Originally Kantrovich, they shortened it to Kanter. A couple of zaydie's brothers moved to this country and were living in Milwaukee when last heard from. One was called Feibel and another was Velvel. God knows what they called themselves; I found records of their sailing here but nothing else.

Liking

I

consider Facebook one of the most useless and time-sucking activities available to man, right up there with cleaning the grout in your bathroom tiles. When everyone started "friending" me I enjoyed hearing from people I hadn't seen in years. Since most of them are doing exactly what I predicted 20 years ago, I was pleased to have my judgment vindicated. Also it was nice to hear from them.

I did "friend" a bunch of people, mostly relatives. As far as posting any information about what I'm doing, the answer is, essentially nothing. Nothing that would interest anyone. I also "liked" a number of organizations, most notably the Delaware Symphony, which promptly went out of business. Nice work, Miriam.

This is background stuff, preliminary to inform you about an e-mail I received from a close relative from the Commie side of the family. She upbraided me because someone she knew told her I "liked" Mitt Romney, and she was aghast. As it happens, I didn't, and don't, and I told her so. She seemed quite relieved. I suffer from l'esprit de'escalier otherwise known as staircase wit, meaning that I think of a witty retort on the way home from the party, when it's too late. So here's what I would have told her, after re-covering my wits:

What's it to you? And if I did "like" Romney, so what? It's not like "liking" Goebbels. I don't "like" Romney but I'm voting for him just the same.

So there!

Introducing my new dental team

When dentists start talking about teamwork, I know it's going to cost me. There are three members on our team. I'm the one with the open mouth and the empty wallet. The other two are the ones shopping for new Mercedes, the car of choice for dentists.

Raise your blood pressure, lower your IQ

and ruin your day. Just try to call 1) Verizon, 2) Comcast, 3) Social Security, 4) your bank, or _______________ (fill in the blank yourself) and deal with their caller direction system. They should make it easier for you, the consumer, otherwise known as hey Rube! Instead, these systems are designed to protect the staff of whatever organization you are trying to communicate with from any contact with a live customer. I always feel a great energy drain from the other end of the line, like a gigantic vacuum cleaner. They suck the little grey cells out of your brain, and after an hour or so you are a gibbering idiot who can't remember how to tie your shoes.

Ho hum.

This election cycle, no matter how stridently everyone carries on. seems boring to me.

F

irst, the President. He has pulled every trick out of his little bag of tricks, and it's empty now. So he opened Pandora's box and let out-Debbie Wasserman Schulz. Shakespeare said a low voice is an excellent thing in woman, but the Debster didn't get the memo. She is the closest thing we have to a perpetual motion machine.

As for Romney, a man who actually says "Gosh" when he hits his thumb with a hammer, or so I imagine--he is our generation's answer to Warren G Harding, handsome but deeply boring.

There are 300 million people in the country, couldn't we do better than this?

In what way is abortion a campaign issue?

It's not.

Abortion is permitted by law, and confirmed as legal by the Supreme Court. So why are we talking about it? Why don't we discuss how many orfreys an archbishop can have on his chasuble? That would be more pertinent.

George W Bush, ostensibly anti-abortion, did nothing to change this law because there was nothing he could realistically do. Clinton did nothing, Obama did nothing, Romney will do nothing. So who cares what their respective opinions are about abortion; it's as relevant as their opinions on pickled herring.

T

he real takeaway from this whole discussion is the knowledge that a member of Congress can be as dumb as a post. Dumber, really, because a post can't make a fool of itself. We leave that to Todd Akin. Oh, yes, and Debbie Wasserman Schulz.

Oy vey! These people are running the country!

The boy genius.

My brother the genius as a boy. He really was an extraordinarily bright child, reading physics books when he was five. He went to school for the requisite 13 years, but they didn't teach him anything, he knew it all already. His practical judgment is another story. He used an inheritance to buy a Wang computer. Remember them? Neither does anyone else, except perhaps Mr Wang. It cost $30,000 but was, according to him, a great investment. The company went out of business the following year. In the 1970s, he believed strongly that we were going to run out of natural gas within the near future. He tried to get mother to convert to oil heat, but she pointblank refused. This led me to conclude that we would soon have a glut of natural gas. He thinks everyone in the country should be on Medicare. Any takers for that theory?

Let's save money by cutting the library's budget

Instapundit had a post some time ago about Harvard having to cut expenditures. They started by cutting one of the periodical subscriptions the University Library receives which costs $40,000 a year.

Forty thousand is a big sum of money, to be sure. The periodical is probably useless. But they could save a lot more if they fired a couple of diversity counselors or vice presidents in charge of student sensitivity. Or gender issues. Furthermore, the periodical subscription does not have health benefits, paid leave, or sabbaticals and doesn't hassle anyone. It just sits there quietly, minding its own business and moldering on the shelves, while the administrative personnel are not only useless but troublesome.

E

very time any organization or municipal body needs to save money, they cut the library's budget. Not the salaries of cops who park their patrol cars in the back of the supermarket parking lot in order to take a snooze, or the clerk who has been sitting at her desk quietly doing the crossword puzzle for the last 14 years. That would take work, you would have to ascertain which employees do necessary tasks and which are worthless, and anyway this person is a cousin of the Mayor.

Governor Christie did not cut funding for libraries. What he did was cut funding for municipalities, who then decided that it would be okay for the library to only be open three days a week.

New they're bringing the FBI into this:

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORY CRIMES DIVISION FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING 935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON D.C. 20535-0001 TEL: 202-324-3447 Attn: Fund Beneficiary This is an official advice from the FBI, foreign remittance/telegraphic dept. (FRTD), it has come to our notice that the (central bank of Nigeria) C.B.N and there local banks in Nigeria has released your full inheritance/contract payment of 10,000,000 U.S dollars into bank of America in your name as the beneficiary as there corresponding bank in USA. The bank in Africa knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment from Europe to your account and they used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment S.T.D.P to pay this fund through wire transfer. They are still waiting for final confirmation from you on the already transferred funds, to enable them crediting into your account accordingly. secret diplomatic transfer payment are normally funds related to drug/terrorist and money laundry system of payment, why must your payment be made in such secret transfer, if your transaction is legitimate and not related to drug/terrorist and money laundry, why can't the bank in Africa via Europe effect direct transfer into your account than secret diplomatic payment transfer. Due to the increased difficulties and unnecessary scrutiny by the American authorities when funds come from through such payment process from Europe, Africa and middle east, based on the records we had in the past always identified such method of payment as drug/ terrorist/money laundry funds, to avoid problem with the us government as soon as these funds reflect in your account in the U.S.A, it is our mandatory obligations to ascertain the documentation and certification of this funds before the final crediting into your account. We advice you contact us immediately, as the funds have been stopped and held in our custody pending when you were able to provide us with a diplomatic immunity seal of transfer (DIST) and letter of indemnity clearance certificate within 24hours from the united nation international fund monitory unit (UNIFMU) that authorize the transfer and certified that the funds originated from Africa and middle east is free from terrorist/drug and money laundry or we shall confiscate the payment. We will allow the funds to be release into your nominated account immediately you make provision the required document. You will be directed where and how to get the document if it is not in your possession. Your’s sincerely Robert S. Mueller, III

FBI Director Those ingenious Nigerians! However, they need to learn the proper spelling of "monetary.

Treasure Island

I saw Treasure Island with Wallace Beery the other night. It was so good! Beery was superb; the rest of the cast was merely wonderful. What a story! I've always loved RLS, both as a man and as a writer. I decided my ten-year-old grandson would enjoy reading Treasure Island, so went on Amazon to buy a copy for him. There were so many versions on offer, but some of them were condensed, like Obama's white girlfriends, and it was not apparent which were and which were not. Why do they ruin books like that?

Complaining, whingeing, and whining

Hot, humid, hot, hot, hot. My plants look as if they could use a good stiff drink, the lawn is brown, and the roses refuse to bloom. The sky is grey and looks threatening--although what it could threaten us with more unpleasant than what we've got would be hard to figure out. I suppose a hurricane would do the trick. I joined the JCC earlier because I refused to spend another summer without getting in a swimming pool. But the pool is as warm as chicken soup, although so far I have not encountered any matzoh balls or noodles floating in it. I have a lot of administrative stuff to do that soaks up my time like a sponge soaks up water. These dreary tasks make me feel like I have an unpleasant job, filled with monotonous but exacting tasks that never end, which moreover I have to pay for instead of being paid to do it. It involves lawyers, banks, and government functionaries. The IRS seems to have lost my 2010 return, and so have I. They called me about it in 2011 and I was able to answer questions about it but I appear to have eaten the paperwork. Or misfiled it. It is now as lost as my favorite umbrella. The best news of the past month is that I have been summoned for jury duty.

People who should know better...

are dissing the liberal arts and advising college students to go in for STEM courses instead. This is based on a false dichotomy. The liberal arts as taught today are a far cry from your grandmother's liberal arts. I should know--I'm a grandmother. When I went to college back in the late lamented 20th century, liberal arts students read "the best that has been thought and said." We read great works of English and American literature. In addition, we had to take courses in history and science. These courses were survey courses, not the greatest, but they did present an overview of Western civilization. We also had to take a couple of years of a foreign language. We read all of Shakespeare's plays as well as those written by other Renaissance playwrights, and a ton of poetry. We were taught grammar and had to do a good deal of writing, which is an excellent way of learning to think. Today's students master Grievance Studies such as Black History, Womyn's History, GLBT history and so on ad infinitum. Or popular culture like soap operas and cartoons. It is no surprise that they get As in everything, who wouldn't? Foreign language departments are closing, as no-one is required to study language any more. Ditto for philosophy. And a four-year course of study takes six years! Students are leaving colleges with worthless diplomas, heavy debt, and empty heads. But don't blame the liberal arts. Nobody is studying them any more.