we're not lovers, we're lawyers
Today, some group in the law school planned to have a sex toy party at the school. Since just about every event that has been planned at the Law School this year has been cancelled or forced to move, they sought the administration's permission to host the free event in the law school building. The administration, seeing no problem with it, agreed to this.
So advertisements go up throughout the school. The pizza gets ordered. Students make plans to show up.
And then? Dean Dickey, one of our wonderful administrators, puts the kibosh on the whole event. My spies tell me that the explanation given had something to do with "not liking the advertisements" for the event. (I mean, it's a sex toy party...how could you not expect advertisements featuring pictures of handcuffs and ridiculous puns???) So, reading between the lines, someone got offended by the ads, and nobody felt the need to tell the group organizing the event until immediately before the event started and they had already wasted money on pizza. (My guess is that Dickey has a serious love for that garlic butter sauce crap that comes with Papa John's pizza, and that's why he waited so long...)
This afternoon, the guy who sits behind me in First Amendment (who I'm pretty sure swills sherry and screws goats for fun*) remarked that he was proud of Dean Dickey for taking a stand, and wanted to e-mail him and tell him as much. Now, I wasn't going to go to this event, and I think it's better suited for some off-campus location...but I'm not going to stop someone else from going just because the picture of a ball-gag and whip makes me a little uncomfortable, you know?
I guess the lesson to take away from all of this is this: if you don't like someone else's viewpoint, you don't need to respect the fact that we're all entitled to our opinions. Just complain to someone with power and get them to shut up.
*I don't know if he actually screws goats for fun. I also don't know if his sense of morality allows him to swill any sort of alcohol. I do know that this guy kind of oozes douche from every pore. You know the type. You're picturing him right now.
Labels: law school douchebags, the dickey conspiracy
warmth
As I said yesterday, the law school is ridiculously cold. This morning, I got to class and my toes never thawed out from the ten minute walk between the bus stop and the law school. Today, however, in exchange for some delicious chocolate, a friend directed me to the one warm spot in the law school: the Remington Center. Now, instead of freezing in the library, I'm enjoying a cozy seat in the RC, and my toes have finally stopped hurting from the cold. I'm convinced that this is some sort of Walter Dickey-created conspiracy. The Dickey Disciples on the faculty want everyone to join one of the Remington Center prison-based clinics. So my guess is that they've taken the whole "pimping the clinics in Crim Law classes" thing one step further by cutting off the heat in the rest of the building. So now students have to choose the lesser of two evils: participate in a Remington Center clinic instead of taking actual classes, or take the classes and lose your fingers and toes to frostbite. Labels: the dickey conspiracy, wisconsin winters = death
my jihad against the SBA
Dear SBA,
I understand that you will be cleaning out my locker if I don't do it myself by May 14th. I am okay with this, as I have two weeks notice. HOWEVER, I would've appreciated SOME notice that you were going to be taking the decorations off of the front of everyone's locker. I really got a kick out of my advertisements for the Silly Party, and Prime Minster candidate Jethro Q. Walrustitty (whose main campaign promise is that he will do nothing whilst in office), and I'd like to think that the comics brought smiles to the faces of those around me.
Seriously, you couldn't have put this in one of your thousands of e-mails? You clog up my Inbox daily with e-mails telling me to send in outlines for the outline bank, stop by whatever table is taking up room in the atrium that day, take surveys that (let's be frank) don't matter at all, corrupt future 1L's by mentoring or leading small groups...why in the world would you decide to stop the barrage now? At least Carrie Bradshaw got a Post-It when Berger dumped her...
I see now that all of you are a part of the conspiracy that I fight against every day. Your goal is to make us all into the same mindless shells whose eyes cloud over with black oil; who wander the stacks of the library muttering Bluebook rules under our breath; who shapeshift into Walter Dickey any time anyone so much as mentions the Wisconsin Statutes.
In short, THANK YOU for stripping my locker (and thereby me) of my individuality, and that last glimmer of enjoyment I was able to glean from my days in the law school building.
Let the deluge begin,
Me
P.S. I'd ask who I have to blow to get a link added to the "Student Blogs" list on the SBA website...but since I've declared jihad and all, I'm guessing that's out of the question, eh?
P.P.S. Why is Zack Morris on ABC's "Commander in Chief"? I mean, Geena Davis is bad enough, but when my brain hears Zack Morris and doesn't see "Saved by the Bell", stuff starts short-circuiting and smoke comes billowing out of my ears...not a pretty sight. Not that you have anything to do with the post-SBTB career of Mark-Paul Gosselaar; I'm really just curious here. So...thanks.
Labels: the dickey conspiracy, the notice list, the ridiculous SBA
another viewer (reader?) poll!
Since exam time is upon us once again, I got to thinking about what's in store for yours truly over the next few weeks. Being that I spent most of the semester with (and recovering from) bird flu, I think it's safe to say that the only grades for which I will be competing are the lowest grades in my classes. That begs the question: in lieu of a final bluebookesque (yes, that's totally a word) exam, what sort of exam would be more likely to garner me an A in my classes?(a) Take-home essay exam, which would allow me to do the work when I do it best - at 3am whilst hopped up on caffeine and watching X-Files and Gilmore Girls DVDs(b) Old school-style Tetris, in which I play four games (corresponding to my four classes), and get an A every time I get the Kremlin to launch at the end(c) Dance Dance Revolution, but only if I can be pitted against K-Fed(d) None of the above, because there's a law school conspiracy afoot preventing me from getting AsLabels: finals, gilmore girls, the dickey conspiracy, video games, x-files
