Pride and applejuice

Kids are curious and funny , little creatures. Well, very little ones… ones that can’t really verbalize what they want and so when they are upset all you get is a whine, cry or all out temper tantrum. In our case we have two children that do this, but they just do it on different levels.

Our daughter is a little easier to read. Up until three or four months old babies usually need either of a handful of things… either it is their diaper needs to be changed, they are hungry, sleepy or perhaps they have a tint of gas or the hiccups. These are baby basics and easily subdued.

You would think it would be the other way around, but as they get older they have more issues! Maybe it is because I offer him juice and because I didn't magically have the juice ready, at the time I asked him if he wanted it... he FREAKS out! I'm working on my choice of words now... Also, we may have the wrong TV show or movie and he wants to watch Super Why rather than Mickey Mouse Club House? It is amazing, he will pick the same movie to watch - everytime if we give him a choice... 9 times out of 10 it will be the Incredibles! Although, there are times he picks up Avatar or X-men: United, but when we take it away.

"No Mauldin," we say... "this is not a Mauldin or Elle movie, this is a movie just for mommy and daddy." He doesn't like that answer and will begin to throw all the movies from the cabinet on the floor as his revenge for not getting to view the film of his choice.

Mauldin's temper is the same everytime... it usually begins with a short whine or whimper and is followed with throwing his juice cup or toy (in this case movie) on the floor.

“Mauldin,” I look at him, “that wasn’t nice, now was it?” He looks at me with his big, 16-month, blue eyes, sometimes with tears running down his face, and just lets out a large exhale. This symbolizes a non-verbal “done.” Like, I’m done with this conversation. Now, granted 90% of the time our little man is a perfect gentleman. He follows the rules we set for him… he puts away his toys and relatively never gets into “trouble.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask him, not expecting an answer because his total vocabulary consists of probably six words: juice, up, down, zap, daddy and done.

“Da!” he says with much zeal, as if he had forgotten he was crying! He then puts two fingers to his mouth and begins flipping them on his lips which give me the clue that he now has something else on his mind and is ready to play again. Whatever was bothering him is now over and he has now moved on. Taking that toy away was so two minutes ago dad… I’m sure that is what he is thinking.

My son has many levels… the more in-depth and harder to control tantrums usually begin with laying in the floor and banging his head against whatever hard surface he is near… the floor, a cabinet, chair, his bed railings, etc… which creates more crying… It’s a vicious cycle.

We usually just have to pick him up and take him out of the situation or he will lay on the floor and just… well lay there. This past Monday morning he had woke up in a foul mood and so after getting his diaper changed (on the floor of our bedroom) and his clothes half on, ready to take him to daycare, he cried through the whole process… I gave up with his lack of cooperation and so I decided okay, I’ll just leave him be and he will discover I’m not paying attention to his fit… and calm down… Well, calm down yes, but our son is a prideful little man. Fast forward, five minutes later, and well, I come back to peek in on him from the bathroom and there he was, still… same place, hasn’t moved from the hardwood floor… one green sock on with the other laying on the floor next to him, I could see the hint of the alligator stitching from where I stood, he did have a shirt on, but his shorts were lying next to the alligator sock. The child just laid there, one finger in his mouth and eyes fixed on Special Agent OSO.

No one can break my child’s pride.

Now, where does he get this from? This is still an unanswered question.

Welcome Home, Elle!

Our little princess decided to make her debut on June 22, 2010 at 4:51am.

Stats: 6lbs 7 oz / 19 1/2 inches long

Her big brother was so excited to meet her!

We were really excited to bring her home.

Welcome home!

A mess is what my son does best!

The time has come… well it seems like it arrived via a terminal at Hartsfield International Airport. I never believed it when people used the cliché that “time flies,” but it is such a true statement.

In about 30 days my son will officially be considered a toddler. On March 21st our little boy will be 12 months old aka one-year old. How did this happen? I apparently haven’t been paying attention, but the months whizzed by without as much as a word, except for “da-da.” (“Mama is soon to follow).

Try to picture this: I sit around in our den, our once beautifully decorated den, and the floor is covered in a wide arrangement of toys and books. The hardwood floors are hidden by the soft and cushiony floor mats we bought from Target to soften the blow when our little boy plops his butt down on the floor from cruising around our furniture. I look at my wife as she is cooking us dinner in the kitchen.

“Remember what our house used to look like babe?”

“Yep, but at the same time I have almost forgot,” said Laura.

The coffee table coasters and side tables all have been stripped of the pictures that used to sit so effortlessly upon them showcasing our many travels and endeavors. We have to push back all the remotes, pictures and books we do leave out because MJ is tall enough now to reach. (He really enjoys changing the channels). The knobs on the drawers and cabinets are starting to disappear, but reappear in his lap while he sits on the hardwood and bangs with a sweet smile vying for our attention of “look what I did mom and dad! I can remove cabinet hardware!” All in all we have a long way to go when it comes to total baby proofing… ummm excuse me, toddler proofing.

We were working on my daughter's new room and Mauldin decided he needed to assist with unpacking the clothes we have for her... It was a mess and it took everything within me to just let him do it to explore, play and be a little boy. I think I did a pretty good job... I sit back a lot and just let him do what he wants, that is if what he is doing is safe!

There are a hefty amount of toys in our home as well… although, we do clean up as soon as he is put to bed, but like clockwork all the toys are back in full view by the time I set foot in the door. Not all the toys mind you because our son is a very blessed child and if all the toys were out then we wouldn’t have anywhere to walk! I can’t even start to imagine what our home will look like as soon as our sweet little girl arrives on the scene.

I have tried to accept the clutter of the toys and slowly I am, but it is hard to forget how great our home once looked before our little boy came into our lives. I will say though, the clutter sure is a small price to pay when I see our handsome little boy playing in the floor acting as if he is talking on his plastic, make believe, Buzz Lightyear cell phone. He holds the phone to his ear, upside down, and looks at you with those piercing blue eyes and utters “da-da” … and my heart just melts. I can’t help but reach down to the floor and place myself next to him and begin to play too.

Sometimes the smallest moments can change your mind about everything.

Say Da-da, please!

My son likes to crawl and roll... he is very mobile and can move from one side of the room to another in under 60 seconds. Hey, he is six months old and to someone who has never had a child before - this is pretty darn impressive.

However impressed I am I have to admit I am slightly saddened that my child doesn't or hasn't said "dada" or "ma ma" yet.

"Mauldin, saaaaay da-da!"

"pbbsssthhhhht"

Yes, if you can pronounce that, that is what our offspring can "say." My wife, Laura, and I think he knows how to say it because he produces a coy smile after we ask him to say our names. I guess he will say it when we are having a bad day and it will make "Mama and Dada" feel all better!

Halloween is upon us and so we took last weekend, after coming home from Disney World, to get the house in order for this epic and spooky holiday. Skeletons have been put up, door mats have been placed and soon pumpkins of all shapes and sizes will litter the Skates household.

We have a couple of choices for Mauldin for his first official Halloween: Winne-the-Pooh and a not-so-scaley dragon. I'm sure we will put him in one and the other will serve as a back up for when he spits up, wets or excuse the pun, POO's...

So, maybe between now and Halloween we can get him to say some sort of verse that will match "Trick or Treat!" Although, I would be equally as happy to hear - "Da da!"

For now, "Pbbsssthhhhht" it is! Maybe it's his form of Aloha...

Textless Tuesday

When does a child know their name?

It is just a shock... like wow! My child's brain works!

It was inevitable and I knew it would happen, but for it to happen in such a short amount of time is just surprising to me.
MJ has learned his name. It is actually pretty adorable... amazing, exciting, cool and just plain elementary, but as a parent... it's well... wonderful!

I noticed it on Monday morning. I woke up to the sound of my wife opening the bedroom door from the hallway on her way to the bathroom to take a shower. She had MJ in her arms and he was wearing a six-month old onesie which we had no idea he had grown into.

"I had to do it," said Laura.

"what?" I asked while rubbing my eyes with a sleepy tone in my voice.

"I had to open the next drawer.." she replied. "He is getting so big I didn't even notice his three months onesies were too small now!"

In MJ's nursery we have drawers under his changing table where we keep the bulk of his clothes. In the top drawer there are 3-6 month onesies and below that, in the second drawer are his 6-9 month onesies and t-shirts... and in the third drawer from the top are his shorts, pants and swim suits. Now granted until this past week he could still wear newborn shorts but now has graduated to 3 months.

"Noooooo.." I said with a gasp.

"Yep.." said Laura, "it's so sad."

First our little boy does not have to be swaddled, now he is growing into 6 months clothes and he is only 5 months old! This is so wrong!

Back to what I was saying... MJ has learned his name. Laura slide him down into his little jeep, where we put him while we try and get ready to go to work... it keeps him occupied long enough for "My Friend's Tigger & Pooh" to come on the Disney Channel... his favorite show.

Laura rolls the car across the wooden bedroom floor and you can hear a combination of beeps and car gears as his pushes each button on the quasi mobile toy.

"Good morning, Mauldin!" I said to him, and to my amazement, he turned his head... he looked right at me! Like "what up pops?"

I wasn't sure if he just heard my voice and turned so he went back to playing with the various buttons and acting as if he were driving his jeep.

I said it again, "Mauldin!" He jerked his head around in my direction.... I couldn't believe it! Laura smiled from ear to ear... Our little man is growing up... he knows his name...

Now if he would only learn to say mine... "Daddy," that will be even better!

I'm not too picky...I would accept "Da-da" too!

When do you fold?

No, I am not talking about playing cards.

What then? Laundry... laundry is today's topic of choice.

Folding my son's clothes have become quite the task. The bigger he gets the more clothes he acquires. (This makes sense, yes?) Yes, you may not believe it, but I am a husband that does laundry.

What do I hate to fold the most? Towels and putting away our clothes, the adult clothes... (I'm not talking about lingere.) So, put MJ's stuff into the mix and boom... that is more laundry. So, who does the laundry folding in your home? Is it dad or mom... both?

I am sure there are those few men who help out around the house. (If I am offending you hold on... I am not being sexist.. just asking a question re: gender roles.)

As I sit on the floor, surrounded by mis-matched blue, white and the occassional red socks, 3-6 month onesies and the like, I wonder... do all husands/fathers do this? I mean I want to be the first to tell you this is a choice I make on my own. My wife does not "instruct" me to do anything. My wife does a lot... and I want to make sure I am pulling my own weight as a member of our family. I like to think that all chores, in the house, are shared between my wife and myself.

Although, she does 90% of the cooking... ok maybe 95%, and I do the dishes, on most nights... (I hate cleaning pots!)

As I sit folding my son's orange oneise that says "My dad is my hero," I cannot help but try and envision my male friends and fellow blogging fathers surrounded by mounds of baby clothes, burp clothes, blankets and wash cloths... and somehow I am at a loss and cannot do it. Do other dudes do this or am I the only one? Is this considered "mom's" job in your house or do you take turns?

I picture some men watching ESPN while their wife is upstairs folding their kid's clothes or I can just hear some guys whenever the *ding* of the drying sounds... "I'm off to the gym honey!"

Am I the only dad that folds his kid's laundry? Honestly, for my peace of mind... I really wanna know!

My friends Tigger & Pooh

My mornings have totally changed...

I now have somewhat of a new morning schedule.

I wake up, around 6:15 AM, and am actually out-of-bed by 6:30 AM. I know that my wife is up and almost ready for her day by the time I get up because I hear the running of the shower while I am rustling through the covers trying to convince myself to get out of the bed, while Mandy Moore or Aerosmith play in the background. We have an iPod alarm clock, so we wake up to different music in the mornings.

I finally open my eyes, to the day, and see the bathroom light is on, yet my wife, Laura, has finished her daily routine of bathing, applying makeup and fixing her hair. I can smell the sweet scent of her perfume as I lazily walk myself through the door on my way to the toilet to use our facilities. I kind of look half drunk in the mornings, but my wife loves me despite all this... most people would say "bless his heart!" (That is if you are from the South.)

After taking care of important business, (I know TMI) I push open the door and can hear, a series of high-pitch squeels. Mauldin, our little boy has figured out he has a voice... surprisingly he uses it, A LOT. But, mostly to let us know he is happy! The squeels are pretty much... well, adorable. At times, that they can keep my wife from putting him to bed...

"But, he was making me laugh," said Laura. "I thought, what is another 30 minutes?"

I have to agree with her, he is so cute sometimes it just melts my heart...

My morning used to be one of Sirius Satellite Radio 20 on 20... but now I spend my mornings rushing through a shower and making sure I keep our little dude entertained until it is time for us to pack up and head out the door for day care.

Mauldin really loves watching "My Friends Tigger & Pooh," and I certainly like them since they keep him occupied and "not" crying while I am trying to put on my clothes for the day. Although, I will say... who the heck is Darby???? Hello? Christopher Robin?

At times he drops his rattle or toy and I have to go hand it back to him, but otherwise he is pretty much enthralled by the TV.

I know I am running late if "Disney's Little Einsteins" starts.. "Comon and ride on our .. blaa blaa rocket ship... blaa naaa naa naa Little Einsteins!"

I check to make sure the dogs have plenty of water, put the gate up as so the dogs won't go upstairs, grab his bag of bottles my wife has no nicely set out for me, change MJ's diaper one last time, place him in his car seat, there are days he is okay with this, others he protests... run out the door and pull the car out, MJ is just fine, Logan makes sure he doesn't go anywhere! I come back in, grab him up, put him in the car and we are off on our 30 minute drive to Gloria's! (Gloria is MJ's & our "Mary Poppins.")

Sometimes, if I am not running late, I stop by Starbucks for a quick Vanilla Latte, especially if MJ has kept us up all night...

I will say, my mornings are not what they used to be, but oddly, I love the change. I may be sleepier than normal, but I really love getting to spend the morning drive with our little man. It's cool being able to drop him off and say "Daddy loves you!"

Okay, I admit it, I am such a dork.

Is my son secretly taking growth hormones?

I know it was inevitable that, MJ, our four-month old baby would start growing, but at this rapid of a rate... no, I had no idea! The little guy is getting bigger every day.

A lot of his clothes are becoming a little more snug... he seems to be more and more vocal every day and now his diet has switched it seems as if he has began to spout like some child who just got injected with some sort of growth hormones. I'm totally joking of course. It is the evil clock... the time has just flown by... you hear everyone say "enjoy it... they grow up so fast!" Okay, I understand now.

His little legs are longer, he has begun grabbing at everything... either it is my nose, my mouth, my wife's boobs (which I can't blame him, they're huge), the extra diapers by his changing table or the book we read to him before we put him to bed... he reaches out to touch, touch, touch!

It is actually really cute and I can't help, but laugh while he is squeezing my lips.. I look up at his big blue eyes that are affixed on my face and as he concentrates a couple of drops of drool pour from his mouth... I used to think baby drool was gross... but "my" baby's drool... doesn't bother me!
We lie him on the floor he rolls over and starts to scoot... not like a dog scoot... that would be kinda funny but then that would follow up with a trip to the doctor. We know he will crawl any day now.. I just hope I am around the day it happens. So, our little man is changing before our very eyes! Here is my plea little dude... slow down, I am in no hurry to have your poopie diapers smelling like real poop. I will long for the day when I could honestly say "My kid's s*$% don't stink!"

Fridays with MJ

So mom and dad decided to provide me with a new wardrobe... apparently there were some clothing items mommy has really wanted to see me in, but until recently I was to small too wear them. As you can tell I have been working out a lot. My "saucer" can hardly contain my Jedi and ninja moves.

After daddy gave me a bath the other night a mystery drawer was opened and a Pandora's box was unleashed upon my nursery. I used to have free reign of my legs and feet, but alas, they have reintroduced me to "sleepers." I, at one time, wore these blasted things, and now they are back in my life.

Curse you Carter's!

So, this weekend is supposed to be a little more laid back than that of weekends past. Mom and dad have decided to stay put a little more and enjoy the last week of summer down-time.

I, myself, will enjoy the non-stop attention. I do enjoy my raspberry's and haven't been able to show them off in a couple of days... so hilarity will ensue. Dad always laughs with me... or is it at me? I am not quite sure, but I like to make him happy. Of course, I will also get to spend quality time with momma... although this rolling over thing she likes to see me do... I don't like it, but I know in the long run it is important, so I will play along!

So, everyone enjoy your weekend... I will be here, with a big smile on wearing alligators or are they crocodiles? That I don't know, but I know they are on my belly!

Nonetheless, have a nice weekend!

Bon Appétit

So our baby, our little boy, has graduated from his primary food source, breast milk, well not totally graduated, but lets just say we've added more options.

Rice cereal is now part of his diet.

The white, grainy stuff that looks like mushy slop they feed the contestants on Big Brother is now something we are giving our son to ingest to make him "big strong boy!" LOL!


Laura, my wife, will next try bananas and I feel I may barf while trying this because I detest bananas.

Here are a couple of pictures from our endeavors.

Bon appetit!

My 100th blog post

So, this blog entry is quite a special one. Why you ask?

This marks my 100^th blog entry. I know, crazy huh? It isn’t groundbreaking news or anything, but it is an accomplishment in my book. What book is that? Not sure, but, it’s mine! It’s all mine, muwhahahahaha!

I was thinking to myself, this morning, on my way into work… "what should be my topic for my Centenarian post?"

Should I make this a thank you entry? Picture myself standing behind a podium; in front of all the blogging world… The spotlight on me as I wipe the sweat from my brow. “I’d like to thank blogger.com…. my wife, my son…! Hi mom!”

Should it be something profound and insightful or something funny and lighthearted? Honestly, I still have no idea. I figured that I would just write as I usually do… about whatever is in my cranium at that time. That is usually how it goes… if you were wondering how my mind works. I am ADD, I have never been diagnosed, but I am pretty sure I am. I am surprised I can ever stay on topic!

My blog was created for so many reasons. One reason was so that our out-of-town family could reap the joys of our experiences. My wife, Laura, and I wanted to make sure they knew what was going on with our pregnancy and beyond. OMG I’m A Daddy is mainly about my experiences with fatherhood and striving to be good dad. My experiences with my family and my son, MJ. My son was the true inspiration for this online journal. It was to document my wife’s pregnancy and how it affected me. I wanted to make sure I was able to give an account of my side of the story. My crazy stories… I cannot believe I have people who visit my blog and read the rubbish that I write. A blog is such a great outlet, though. I mean I could talk about Jellyfish, post-it notes (I invented post-its) or how I don’t like the color mauve. Why? Because this is MY blog and it gives me the freedom to discuss whatever I want to discuss. I can vent to my blog… I can put my thoughts out there and it is sort of liberating to tell the story of my life and have people from all walks of life read about it. It is mind blowing to me that people visit my blog, and for that I am thankful.

I have learned so much from when I started. It is amazing to me to think that I could find friends through this medium, but I have. I first was so jealous of all the other “daddy-bloggers” out there. I never thought I could write anything worth reading. All the other bloggers seemed so good at it… would I be worth conversing with? But, many of the dad-bloggers accepted me. “Why me?” I wondered. “What kind of insight would I ever have to offer?” I said to myself. I was a soon-to-be dad… I didn’t know jack! Well, I have an uncle Jack, but that is beside the point.

The friendships I have made through blogging staggers my mind. The guys (and gals,) are spread out all over the world… I have never met them, but I feel like I know ‘em. They are my online fam. They make me feel like I am not losing my mind!

So, I am patting myself on the back for once. I am proud of myself. I started something a year ago and am still going strong. Let’s hope that writers block doesn’t creep up on me because I still have a lot to say!

Cheers!

Friday's with M.J.

So here it is, Friday, yet again, and we are on the edge of the 4th of July weekend.

Next weekend will mark the beginnings of July... it is a very special weekend... my mommy and daddy keep saying. I don't know why though... something about "it was the day when everything changed?" Or something like that, I dunno... anyway, where was I? Oh! Yes, where has my summer gone? Where has it gone, I ask?

My mommy will not have much longer, with me at home, before she has to go back to work. Poo, poo on work. I poo on it, I say. Phewy!


My Uncle Charles has come home now from California and I know cousin Drew is really excited about that. Welcome back Uncle Charles!

The weekends are always full of fun things for me to do with mom and dad. This weekend is no different... I get to go to my cousin Grant's second birthday party on Saturday! Apparently, he too, is a huge Sesame Street fan! We have sort of bonded on our love of Elmo. Cousin Grant is a cool dude.

Mommy and Daddy have decided to go on what they call a "date night?" Not sure what this consists of, but they asked Nana to come stay with me on Saturday night. I think Papa might come too, but we'll see. I hear talk about seeing Robots... sounds like something I would enjoy watching. I do enjoy a good action flick, but cest la vie'. Let them have their fun... I will be busy enjoying my Disney Sing-a-long from the Animal Kingdom. Those kids act so silly, but it's my guilty pleasure.

Well, I hope everyone enjoys their upcoming weekend festivities! Don't do anything I wouldn't approve of!!!!

Bye!

Oh.... It's Friday!

Isn’t it a nice day today? Oh, and why would it not be? The sun-is-a-shinin’.. well, it is here where we are.

I would say I was glad, it’s Friday, even if it were raining, there were cloudy skies, pasha, it doesn’t matter because today… is… Friday! Friday, I say!

It is the beginning of what will probably be a pretty event-filled weekend!

First of all, it will be my daddy’s first Father’s Day. Mommy and I got him the coolest gift, but he doesn’t know what it is because we hid it from him…

Secondly, I am hitting a milestone, well sorta! I mean it's quite a milestone. Mommy and Daddy keep telling people about it. I will be turning three months old on Sunday… They seem pretty stoked about it.

Well, don’t do anything I wouldn’t be proud of… behave yourselves. Happy early Father’s Day to all you dads out there, and more importantly, happy Friday!

Click here to check out my dad’s column on Examiner.com!

No more newborns...

It has happened.

We knew it would, but it just kind of crept up on us.

What am I talking about you ask?

Mauldin, our almost three month old son, has officially graduated from his newborn diapers (N’s) to ones. The little man has grown so fast in the past few weeks and we didn’t even notice until he started peeing on his clothes because his diapers could no longer hold his excretments! Okay, that is kinda gross when I say it like that. Let’s just say his pee was seeping out and so it was time for something bigger.

“Eric, can you replace all the diapers with the new ones?” my wife asked me so sweetly.

She was busy nursing him. He was lying there nourishing his body so that he can grow into the next stage of diapers. The 2’s! It won’t be long before we will actually have to start buying diapers again. Laura, my wife, and I stocked up on diapers when she was pregnant so that we wouldn’t have to be buying diapers so often. Well, our stock has started depleting right before our very eyes.

"Maybe we can make it to September!" I said with a hopeful disdane.

"I'm sure we can.. he is only what?"

"Ten pounds" said Laura, finishing my sentence.

"Alright then! He is ten pounds and 1's diapers are for ten to 14 lbs, right?" I continued.

"Yes, that is correct." Laura said.

She was sitting on our couch with Mauldin covering up some of the best parts, might I add. She had on khacki shorts, a pink shirt and a head band with skull and cross bones on it.

"I noticed you wore your belle band today!"

"Ouch!" she yelped! "Yes, thank you. Does it look okay?"

"What's wrong?" I recalled her previous retortment.

"He chomped on my ..." she stopped in mid sentence and looked down at our little hungry hippo.

"If you are going to act like that, sir, no more for you."

Mauldin laid there with no regret on his face what-so-ever... it was if he was like...

"Yah, sure.. you talk all big and bad.. bring it on mom!"

"I can't believe how big he is..." I said.

"You said that already..." said Laura looking at me as if I was losing my mind to early Alzheimer's.

"Well it's true!" I replied matter of factly! "Our little man is growing up so darn fast... our little newborn is gonna be our little three month old here in a few days!"

"Buuurrrrp!"

Mauldin had finished his afternoon lunch. He sat in his mommy lap with a huge sense of accomplishment across his face... as well as a little drool. The drool slowly dripped onto his little green and blue stripped onesie that read "I love mommy."

"Mauldin!" Laura exclaimed in the I'm surprised, but I'm really not surprised mommy voice! "Well, our little man is certainly growing up just like his daddy!"

All I could do was stand there and beam with pride.

"Yep!" I said... "I'm so proud!"

Check out my latest article on my column for New Dads at Examiner.com.

What would Mauldin do?

Well, it's finally Friday, y'all!

I am really excited about the weekend because it is the time that I get to spend with both my mommy and daddy at the same time. I am sad when daddy is at work all day... but mommy is a lot of fun and lets me watch Mickey Mouse Club House and Sesame Street!

Maybe mom and dad will take me to play in the pool again... that was fun!

Also, it is my mommy's birthday on Sunday...

So, happy birthday, mommy!

Enjoy your weekend everyone - stay safe and when you think about doing something bad... just say -"what would Mauldin do?"

29

It occurred to me, the other day, on Easter, that I was hitting a major milestone along with my son… I was having my 29^th Easter and my son was having his first!

A few days prior, to Easter, I had my 29^th birthday. Now, please understand, I know 29 is just a number, but coming to grips with the idea that I was actually that much closer to 30 kinda freaked me out.

Has my hair really receded that much? Has my waistline grown more? Is my back going out more than normal? I can say yes to two of the three and I won’t specify which ones. Hint: I will say that I noticed my age the other day when I went to the gym… I haven’t worked out pretty much since Mauldin arrived. I certainly haven’t had the time, but Laura is losing weight faster than the speed of light. However, it seems I am gaining what she is losing. I walked into the gym and proceeded to hop on the nearest treadmill… I wanted to do the elliptical machine, but all were taken at that moment. Of course, the machine I want to use is… well, in use. I run on the treadmill for approx. 10 minutes, give or take a second to tie my shoe… and head over to the bike machine because the Elliptical was still being used. It would be my luck as soon as I start the bike someone finishes up on the Elliptical machine and someone else hops on right away… I had no idea they were so damn popular! Anyway, I ride the bike for another 15 minutes and head home… My muscles were already burning from that small amount of cardio – what is wrong with me? I used to run a six minute mile, although, the key word was “used” to. The next day, while I am at work… I take a deep breath and “Ohh,” my back… some muscle, I hadn’t used in a while decided he was pissed off and needed a moment to flare up and screw up my day…. Sorry, week.

Now, it also occurred to me, while on said treadmill, Mauldin and I are 28 years and some days apart… now I guess that makes me qualified to say “trust me, I’ve been there” and “because I said so…” when he gets old enough to ask me questions, but honestly, when you think about it, I’m a full-blown adult! At least, I am considered one by law, although, I don’t feel it. My mother-in-law, Carol, gave me a gift card to Abercrombie and, although, it is a very nice gift, should I still be wearing Abercrombie? I walk into the store and gag at the amount of cologne they spray in the air and are, more often than none, given shifty and dodgy looks by the other patrons and employees of the store. I mean I know I am not going to switch over to denim from Sears or JC Penny, but I don’t want to be one of those parents who walks around still wearing stupid clothes that I wore when I was 22! I have some choice t-shirts that I think are pretty funny, but I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing out in public, anymore.

For example:

Horn if you’re Honky

Original Foreplay

I’m naked under this shirt

Nebraska: It’s a great shukin’ state

I mean, my wife and I actually made an agreement, at 26, to cease and desist shopping at certain retailers after 28, because it just makes us feel old when we go in there… But, am I really there? Will someone nominate me to the show “What Not To Wear?”

I am seriously not sure if I would feel comfortable having such restriction just because of my age… however, when we are out and about we see parents who have piercings in odd places and baggy jeans past their butt with huge chains, etc… while strolling through Target with their children in tow. I do not wanna be “those parents.”

So, I am currently working on sifting through my closet to retire many of my favorite and most comfortable T’s…

I cannot believe I am (and I quote) “pushing 30.” Lord give me strength.

P.S. – my back is much better, so gym, here I come! (and for the record, I workout with my shirt on... stupid Bo-flex commercials...)

Growin' like a weed

Mauldin sure is growing... how do we know for sure?

He can actually wear "Newborn" clothes now; versus only wearing premie stuff! Our lil' man is still in premie diapers, however. Saturday, April 18th he will be officially four weeks old!

Here are some recent pictures of him. Enjoy!

I deserve a gold star!

“Honey, can you take him?” whispered my wife, Laura, to me, as I lay in the bed, motionless, and donked-out! I was completely oblivious to any sound… all of a sudden I hear, vaguely, someone calling my name… I was away in dreamland… not sure what I was dreaming… but then I began to fall back into a state somewhere between asleep and awake..

“Eric? Eric…” continues Laura.

“aheummm???” I reply, half muffled, my face buried in the sheets and a warm, soft pillow. The bed was so warm.. I reach my arm out and the air in our room was bitterly cold compared to the temperature under the covers.

It is 3:00 A.M. and Laura has just finished nursing Mauldin and is ready to take on the slumber beast. I finally figure out what is going on and I immediately sit up.

“Can you take him?” she said. “Every time I try to swaddle him he breaks out in a fit and cries.”

At this point, in the wee hours of the morn, I really cannot function. As much as I would like to force a response to form; I can’t. I, in turn, nod yes with my eyes closed and arms outreached.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Laura says in a loving whisper… and a kiss on my scruffy right cheek.

I start rocking as I take Mauldin, in my arms, and immediately put him over my right shouldler… I know if I do this if he has any burping to do then this is when he may do it. Sure enough, the little booger busts out a tiny, but for him, quite meaningful release. I continue to pound lightly on his lower back and alternate the love pats with an upward rubbing motion. I have no idea if this really does anything, but from all the other mom’s and dad’s I’ve watched in the past this tends to soothe the child in some shape or form. I take that he is slipping off into dreamland as I hear little squeaks emerge from out of nowhere!

“Squeak!”

It sounds sort of like a little puppy… adorable, I know. One day his squeak will disappear and only leave the crying and annoying wimpering… until that day I gladly accept that my son has a squeaker.

I leave him balanced on my shoulder while I take one of his cotton receiving blankets and lay it out on my side of the bed… I have learned from watching Laura, the best swaddler, ever, (sorry Charles) and take a corner and fold it down ever so gently. The amount of receiving blankets we own is staggering and it seems as if I am using a different one every day. Tonight this blanket is white with blue, red, and yellow polka dots… not my favorite one, but it was 3 AM and I was not going to the nursery and risk him waking up so I could have an aesthetically pleasing swaddle blanket that I know he will end up peeing on.

Mauldin, still on my shoulder, begins to snore, lightly, but still snoring, nonetheless. I know this because his face is turned towards my ear… I calmly bounce up and down as to keep him in motion… Mauldin, for some reason, loves to keep moving. “He likes to move it, move it!” LOL! I reach my right hand back and place it below his neck and with my left hand I place it firmly over his hips… I do this because this is where the positioned holds him when we place him in the cradle. The cradle we use is one that was passed down from my wife’s two sister’s… it originally belonged to out nephew, Drew, but he, of course, grew out of it, so next on the list was our niece, Annagrace, and now it’s Mauldin’s turn. I, certainly, do look forward to the day we can return the wooden wonder; however, it will be bitter sweet because it will mean our son is growing up… I am not sure we are ready for him to graduate to his crib just yet… I have become quite accustomed to our son’s late-night shenanigans.

I did finally get Mauldin swaddled good and comfy, and now comes the hard part… the part when I have to move him from my arms to the motionless cradle that sits on the otherside of the room. Our room doesn’t seem that large, but when you have a newborn who has just fallen asleep and not yet in the REM state walking across a room can be quite difficult. I am not sure why, but even a small creak from the wooden floor can cause his little eyes to pop wide open and I am back to square one.

I make it over to the cradle and sure enough the little beast awoke. I was not sure at first because the light in our room is so dimmed at this point and my eyes are so tired I was not sure what I was seeing. I look down at Mauldin, real close up, and notice his eyes are in a dead-lock with mine. It was as if he just wanted to say..

“Hey daddy!”

I kiss him on the forehead and follow up with a light “Shhhhh.”

I rock back and forth, front to back in a rocking horse motion and then switch it up to sway right to left… It is beyond me how he doesn’t get motion sickness from all my movement, but it seems to put him right at ease. The room has a chill in the air, a curious chill as if a ghost was standing next to me while I rocked our babe back to bed. I am curious as to how my body was retaining its heat! The my skin could feel the obvious cold, but why was I not shaking? Why wasn’t I… well, cold? Was I so tired I couldn’t distinguish the difference between hot and cold? Was my body so exhausted it had turned numb? Mauldin certainly wasn't cold... he was so wrapped up there was no way... besides he sweats when he sleeps. I know my feet were hot because my feet would stick to the floor if I was in one place too long while rocking. The sound of me pulling my foot up would make a deafening sound that I was sure would wake Mauldin. I decided to back up and stand on the rug that is placed under out bed…

I look over at the clock and it is now 3:28 AM. In my mind I talk to myself and decide…. “self, you are going to rock him for five more minutes and then put him down.” Then I rethink my stupidity… I look down at my son and his eyes are closed. How long had I been talking to myself in my mind? How long had I been going back and forth on what I would do? While I was striking a compromise with myself Mauldin had, again, fallen into the land of nod. Can I place him in the cradle and not awaken the savage beast? One, two… three… I place him down, tightly swaddled and not a peep… not a squeak… and eyes are still tightly shut. I take this as my confident cue to crawl away, slowly but fervently. I make it to my side of our bed and creep under the covers, which are now frightenly chilly. Now I feel cold? What is up with that?

Laura reaches over and her arm brushes across my chest and she rests her hand on my right shoulder… she says… “why are you so cold?”

“I am not sure…” I whisper “I was hot two seconds ago.”

Laura, pulls herself closer to my side… I can feel her playing footsy and then she runs her hand down my leg and rubs back and forth, on my thigh, trying to cause some skin on skin body heat to emerge.

“Thank you,” I say.

I am taken back to another time in our lives… but while my mind began to wander…

The beast emerged from his sleep… Laura grabs the monitor, from her bedside table, and clicks the top of it to see the real-time screen to check on what he was up to.

“He has busted out of his swaddle.” Laura said.

“Fine.” I reply while throwing back the covers and walk over to our restless babe. I reach over and put his little squirming arms back inside his blanket and rest my hand over his chest. “Shhhhhh….”

He quiets down almost immediately. I look over at the clock and it is almost 5 AM. Where has the time gone? I wondered.

I rush over back to my side of the bed and slide over to Laura hoping to return right back to where we left off…

“I re-swaddled the beast!” I quietly whispered in my wife’s ear.

“Laura…” I say again… she was asleep. I take a deep breath and roll over and reposition the pillow under my head… I look up at the clock… In it’s yellowish green light emanating from our armoire: 5:15 AM. I feel like I can’t win.. the clock just keeps on ticking… So, there I am… lying wide awake while my wife and son are sound asleep. Well, my only consolation was that I got Mauldin to sleep… I did not need help from anyone… I did it myself. I think that is pretty cool – and certainly worth a gold star… or a cookie!

My son, the night owl!

We are never really certain what nights we will be able to catch our ZZZzzzz’s lately. Our newborn son, Mauldin, loves to keep his new mommy and daddy on their toes. Although, only being a week old I am more than sure he doesn’t understand what “sleep” time is; considering he sleeps 90% of the day. How can he actually determine when he should be sleeping and when it is optional? So, I guess I can cut the lil’ guy some slack. Talk to me again about this in six months.

“I think Megan will be voted off tonight,” I said while sitting on the couch next to Laura. “She is really cute, but I just can’t get past the tattoos!”

It is Wednesday night, and nothing we really watch is on TV, so we watch whatever is available. This season we have caught maybe two episodes of the Fox reality talent show, American Idol. I pretty much loathe the show, but we still catch the occasional episode to stay up on the pop culture phenom that has spread across the nation.

Carol, my mother-in-law, is sitting, comfortably, rocking Mauldin, in the wooden rocking chair that was my grandmothers while my wife, Laura, and I sit, side by side, on our laptops, lounging between the pillows, on the couch behind her. We sometimes enjoy our laptop time right before bedtime, in the bed, or just sitting around in the kitchen, but most of the time it is on the couch in front of the television. I had just finished my late-night cup of decaf coffee and bowl of cheeszits. This used to be a normal night for Laura and I, minus the mother-in-law, but we have not had time lately; mainly because Mauldin really likes to monopolize our time! How dare he, I know.

“There,” said Laura. “I just got finished uploading pictures to facebook for the first time since we got home from the hospital.”

Ever since we have gotten home, a week ago, we have taken probably 150 pictures… so if you really think about it is about 21 pictures a day… give or take. I am not counting the ones we’ve deleted! I mean can you blame us? Obviously, we are a little fanatical about our first born.

We usually head up to bed around 10PM. I hop off the couch and make my way over to Laura’s mom to scoop up the little man. This sometimes comes with some form of protest because Mauldin is such an addiction that anyone who holds him becomes entranced in his aura. It is like his baby pheromones, he gives off, trap anyone who has embraced him.

“Alrighty, Mauldin, it’s time to go upstairs,” I say with a fervent voice… I always plan for a whining and “awwwhhh” to follow after I spout the words from my lips. He looks so comfortable and cozy. The little man is in his little onesie that dawns a baby blue elephant, on the front, with the words, “lil’ peanut” embroidered under it. Mauldin squeaks a little as I slide my right hand under his warm head and my left under his itty bitty booty.

“All-right little man, it’s time for your late-night din-din!” I exclaim.

I always try to wake him up before he eats… otherwise he will just lie in Laura’s arms, his face against her bosom, totally zonked out. Now please understand… our child sleeps probably 18-20 hours out of the 24 hour day our Earth is known for! I asked our pediatrician how long this will go on for and she winced at the very utterance of my query.

“Usually babies continue on this type of sleep pattern for about..” she said while pursing her lips and pausing to look through his manila office folder. “About three-four months,” she finished.

“Please wake him up…” says Laura. “It is so hard to feed a sleeping babe.”

“I’ll do my best!” I replied.

One certain way that I know can wake up our child is to take him and place him on the changing table… Our child, for some reason, hates to have his diaper changed. I have a theory, as to why he does not enjoy the changing of the diaper. My hypothesis is that he is brought back to a time when he was strapped down and a cold clamp chopped off a bit of his… well, you know what I mean. That certainly would make me rethink some things! So, lately he has been a little more docile when we have gone to clean up the mess that was left on the underside of his buttocks. Maybe he has placed the memory of the circumcision waaay back in the black hole of his baby psyche.

“Mauldin, comon’ lil man, lets wake up so we catch have some of mommy’s yummy lactation!” I said.

“Eric… that would not make me wanna wake up…” said Laura while positioning herself on the bed with a brown boppy by her side.

“Well, what else should I do?” I reply with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t know! Be creative!” replied Laura.

Thankfully, he awoke from his slumber, still a little groggy, but a form of consciousness! This time is the perfect window to introduce the “milk” to him. However, after about 10 minutes of feeding Mauldin tends to start slipping into his milk coma. Although, this night was not one of those nights. The more Mauldin eats, from his “breast” friend, he more he is roused to an awakened state.

“No, this is a little bad…” I said… “Why is he so awake? It is almost 11:30 PM! He needs to start winding down again… for his bed time!”

“I don’t know…” said Laura. “Maybe he slept too much today! Maybe he has to poop, maybe he has gas… maybe he…”

“He what? He wants to stare at the fan more?” I said in a confused and perplexed voice.

That is just what the little guy did… he laid in my arms and kicked and squirmed and would not stay still… then I heard the beautiful sound that I had been waiting for… *burrrp!* He burped! He usually does this about 3-5 times before he winds down for sleepy time and the sandman isn’t far behind. But, this night the sandman must of taken a vacation. Mauldin laid on the bed wide-eyed and awake. It is now 12AM and my wife is lying by my side asleep. I know this little guy is not going to give in anytime soon and I have to get up at 6:30 AM to get ready for work! I did the thing I really didn’t want to do… I gave in… I got up from the warm bed and made my way into the guest room where my mother-in-law was sleeping soundly. Or, for all I know, was lying awake just waiting for a little knock-knock on the door. Mauldin’s crying was so sporadic it was hard to tell if he was upset or just irritated that we were trying to make him go to bed.

Maybe he is just a night owl and wondering when he will be able to stay up and watch that colorful screen that his parents watch on a daily basis. What if he is just testing us to see how much power he has… “Maybe I can change the entire time-clock in this house! Mwhahahahaha!” –thinks Mauldin.

All-in-all I felt really bad giving up my son, to someone else, to Carol, my mother-in-law, to soothe to sleep… I am his father! Why can’t I do it? I am thankful to have had my mother and my mother-in-law the past two weeks, but, I, honestly, almost cried about it because after Friday Laura and I are on our own. What if this happens every night? I was hoping I would be a better father… A father who could soothe the savage beast inside my son. How could it be that our son would be put in the statistics book of the amount of children who grasp hold of their parent’s night and choke them to death until they are reduced to a walking Inferi, a zombie-like corpse that is dead to the world yet still sits behind a desk during the day…

It would be that as soon as I ditched my pride, for my sleep, he quieted down almost immediately. Well, I guess this parenting thing is about compromise and right now my sleep is being highly compromised. Well, let’s hope and pray by… counting in my head the months… June… he will be a little more adapt to our sleep schedule. I anticipate we will successful and can blend our son into the normal society sleep program. If not… I may need therapy, or a long nap!