What's that smell?

The past week my wife, Laura, and I have been putting up with our dog’s pungent stench. The disgusting odor is because we have not taken our Westie, Andy, to get groomed in the past few months due to two things, scheduling and budget cuts on the home front. Logan, our regal beagle, stinks just as much as Andy does, however, Andy, being white, causes his dirtyness to stick out like a smelly thumb. I have tried to mask their odor with febreeze pet spray, but to no avail, and under much protest to my wife for spraying the pups, I was stuck with finding another way to get this disgusting odor from our home. Not only does Andy stink, but he looks terrible too. We have weeds down the hill of our backyard and Andy insists on going through them and coming back into the house covered in sticky thorns that are close to impossible to get out of his fur, hair, what do dogs have? I don’t care he is nasty! Picture a cute white puppy with black thorns all stuck in his fur, face, butt, tail, legs, etc… So, last night, at about 6:30pm, Laura and I just started watching our recent Net-flix rental “X-men,” and were talkin' to Baby Skates my nose turned and I knew what it was...

(Please note: Picture was taken after said Bath)

"I'm mean really?" I said, "Could they stink anymore?"

I made the executive decision, we have to give them BOTH a bath.

“Well, you know I can’t,” said Laura with a you-know-what-that-means look.

Laura, being pregnant has caused her to not only be extremely tired, but her immunity is lowered and has contracted a virus. No, not like a horrible stomach bug, just a virus that makes her very congested and stick to her stomach. So, it was up to me and me alone to clean our dogs and free us from the pungent stench that has been plaguing our home for the past couple o’weeks.

“Andy! Lets go buddy, you know what is about to happen don’t you?” I said while leaning over the couch to find him snuggled up comfortably on the bed next to Logan. His face speckled with little briars that had fallen onto the hardwood floor to look like little dead black bugs… gross… I know.

“I will wash their bedding while you give them baths,” said Laura lovingly.

Oh how I would love to trade with her, but when I think about it, washing dogs and washing their bedding, makes me sneeze equal amounts.

“Okay,” I said while I trudged up with stairs with Andy in my arms stretched out so to make sure no stickers ended up on me.

After I had him washed, de-stickered and dried it was Logan’s turn. Logan wasn’t nearly as bad, but she is just a little big larger than Andy, so while bending over the tub and washing her with the personal shower my back started to feel a wrenching pain. A pain that would not end, “how am I gonna finish this,” I thought. “Man, I need to work out more, this is sad.”

The one thing about bathing dogs that I despise is when they decide to shake with water and soap all over them. You smell the wet dog smell and then it is sprayed all over your guest bathroom walls. Logan has officially made herself the queen of, wash me. She will stand and look at your like, “you missed a spot.”

Finally, after all the washing I covered her with a dry towel and held her next just to ensure she wouldn’t shake and spray her “so-called” clean body all over me and the newly cleaned bathroom. I got out Laura’s hair dryer and after about 10 minutes of puppy pampering we had two clean puppies with flea treatment included. Although, after they were cleaned, I had to go and take a shower myself, I think they transferred their stink to me! But, as you know, both Andy and Logan immediately returned outside where the stink originated. They love to roll around in the, sometimes, wet grass and weeds on our hill. (I have since called to have them cut by our yard guy, Jim.) Ugh… Well, atleast they don’t smell as bad as they did before!!! Makes you wonder what all the people on Survivor smell like?

Side note: Is it bad that we bathe the dogs in the same tub where the baby will take a bath????

Hmmmmmmm….