1984 Rules the World

Forget thought crime, this shit is getting serious, welcome to the future.
It's not bad enough the State can cruise through a parking lot and scan every license plate at fifteen miles an hour, or fifty, for that matter.

It's not bad enough that there are traffic camera's every where you turn, Arizona has them every half fucking mile in the middle of the fucking desert, Britain has them in bars where it is now Verbotten to wear a fucking hat or sun glasses because they demand to positively identify you sipping a motherfucking beer,they went so far as to outlaw real glass beer containers and real metal knives and forks two years ago in bars.
Now, George Orwell should be spinning about two thousand RPM in his grave, they took that concept and ran hard.

Now get this.

I can see prohibition Moonshiners circa two thousand fucking thirteen making a mint in Jolly Old England next year.

Really.

If you try to put gasoline in your car, at say, eight fucking dollars a gallon and the pump is connected to Big Brother, if you don't have car insurance, they will shut the pump off remotely.

I suppose some burly dudes in a big box van with machine guns won't be far behind to throw you on the ground to help you separate your shoulder with a knee in your neck and your elbow somewhere between you and the moon.

No fuel for you, ya piece of shit that is trying to get to work,a hospital,or God Forbid, an appointment with the motherfucking government.

Look for this to come to a fucking gas station near you soon.

When I was a kid, they gave you laundry soap, dishes, glasses or Green Stamps for doing business with them and checked your oil, cleaned your windshield and checked the air pressure in your tires just for doing business with them instead of the guy down the street. Now they are going to call the STASI on ya without lifting a finger.

Papers, Citizen?

Another Battle Won.

HA! dirty motherfucker.

I want to hunt down and strangle the idiot cock sucker who had this fucking car before me.
Gotta, and I do mean gotta, be a fucking Crack head.

I have been fighting a severe oil leak since I got the damn thing.
Severe as in puddles under the front of the car, in my parents garage.

That shit don't fly.

I took it to my friends transmission repair shop to have a new starter put in it, that I fucked up and to chase down two leaks, one was transmission fluid and the other one was that nasty fucking oil leak.

He put it on the hoist and cleaned everything up, then had to use a crows foot socket wrench to get the transmission cooler lines off to remove the starter.
he also changed a little seal on the side of tranny where the shift linkage hooks up.

Starter in, good, fucked up ring gear, bad.

Dude only charged me forty bucks and wouldn't take the extra twenty I wanted to give him.

There will be some drinks bought later.

It works and sometime down the road, I will have him yank the transmission, this guy is GOOD he can haul that thing out in a half hour, have him throw another flex plate at it and call it good.

In the mean time, he fired it up after climbing a ladder because it was on the hoist and leak hunting we went.

I know it is at the front of the motor somewhere.
Got the flashlight out and started watching.
After about a minute, I see smoke coming out of the left front of the engine!!

Looking a little closer and being mindful of the fan spinning at a high rate of speed real near to where I am looking and I see smoke coming out of a empty bolt hole.
An empty bolt hole?
Sure as shit.
There is a bolt that is supposed to go in that hole hole on Chevy 350's that when changing the fuel pump, which is operated by a large push rod off the cam, that you can remove and thread in a two inch long bolt to hold that push rod in place so it doesn't fall out on the fucking floor, which they are prone to do. I learned this the hard way after pushing a 66 Chevy pick up across two lanes of traffic and half way up a driveway by myself in a hundred and four degree weather, by myself, at a whopping one hundred twenty five pounds.

That bolt was missing and oil was flowing out of it like an Arabian Princes dream.
One new starter, one used bolt and some skookem' putty to make double sure the motherfucker doesn't leak any more and life is good.
Two down, several more issues to deal with but I AM kicking this things ass, finally.
Stay tuned and,

Thanks fer stopping by.

I Won This Battle

The war is far from over but I finally kicked that Chevy in the nuts and Fordified it.

I got on the internets and found a few cheats from other guys who had gotten tired of fucking around and figured out how to re wire a Chevy starter and the Alternator too.

A few copy paste, send it to the wife so she could print out the schematics, five trips to the parts house because I couldn't get a grip on all the little fucking electrical connectors I needed and game on.

The inside of the engine compartment looks like a nightmare but it works and I can go back and redo a bit here and there at my leisure to make it pretty again.

At least I know what goes where now.

WTF, it starts, runs and drives again and if I ever, ever, find the crack head that butchered that wiring harness, I am going to beat him senseless with his liver and string him up and choke him to death with his intestines.

The fucking shit I ran into would make a mechanic drink until he was blind.

Two, 10 gauge heavy duty wires coming from the alternator back to the starter, wrapped together and connected to a 14 gauge wire, with electrical tape.

Think of two ropes connected to a shoe string trying to pick up a rock the size of your car.

That kind of shit everywhere.
EVERYWHERE!

Everywhere I started hunting down wires, I ran into bizarre shit like that and would have to go get more wire and the correct connectors.

I got it to start and run but I am going to spending a long time going through a bunch of wiring harness'es and a ton of new wires, new connectors, harness covers, tie straps and beer until I get this fucker straightened out and looking pretty again.

It is a testament to my mechanical ability I got the fucker running at all.

Run it does though.

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!


Kiss my fucking ass.

I do have to admit, right now under the hood it looks like a spider on acid had a field day....

Going to the Parts house and then...

I'm coming home, to work on my truck, which I see needs a new timing chain.
I'm gonna cheat as long as I can and keep turning the distributor as far left as I can and hope the weather warms up real soon. I ain't as young as I used to be and Uncle Arther[itis }just kicks my ass anymore.
 Replacing the timing chain on a truck you have to have a step ladder to see the engine in ain't gonna be no fucking fun and will probably take two days to do because of my lack of enthusiasm.

Still gotta fix that fucking Chevy too.

Like I said, total lack of enthusiasm.
I'm just plain getting old and tired, just like my rides.

I can has nap now?

I'm A Lucky Dude.

It's nice to have friends.
My buddy Steve showed up and used his Chrysler mini van with plastic bumpers to push that old Chevy around , backwards, forwards, into the drive way and into the garage head first where I can jack the fucker up and get under it.

Bonus, he is the shit, he brought me some jack stands too.

Double bonus points, my buddy and his partner in crime Tim showed up to make sure it happened.

Thank you very much fella's.
It's nosed in  so I can get to the wiring and the starter and I didn't have to have everyone and their
niece go out in the street and get the fucker in the garage again.


You would think I could write myself a note not to drive the bastard, now I don't need one.

My pal is upset that I let myself talk him out of this thing.
He is upset I have so many problems.

I am a big boy and I knew what I was getting into.
Imagine an old Chevy that gets twice the mileage of my old Ford, drives like a car instead of a tank  and still goes like a scalded cat.

Yes, I am a stubborn fucker, my wife still hates the ugly bastard but it is beyond the point of no return now.

I have way too much into it now, which is typical of my narrow ass but I actually like driving it when it works.

I WILL, fix this ugly old fucker and I Will enjoy it, eventually.