Biologically Impossible Arizona Law

OK, now they have just ran full tilt off the cliff of crazy.

Arizona lawmakers gave final passage to three anti-abortion bills Tuesday afternoon, including one that declares pregnancies in the state begin two weeks before conception.

snip

My bold.

Um, excuse me, It is my belief there has to actually be coitus, ejaculation of sperm by the male, a fertilized egg available by the woman and one lucky sperm cell penetrating said egg cell for there to be a pregnancy.

Apparently some ignorant fucking idiot believes this happens before the slut even meets the horn dog and a date for dinner has been settled on.

There hasn't even been one complimentary drink been served.

My question is, how this supposed fucked up stupid, ignorant fucking law can declare a pregnancy TWO FUCKING WEEKS before any of these things happen?

Well step right up and behold the math skills of the Republican party;

The 18th week bill includes a new definition for when pregnancy begins. All of the bills passed the Senate and now head to Gov. Jan Brewer (R) for her signature or veto. Passage of the late-term abortion bill would give Arizona the earliest definition of late-term abortion in the country; most states use 20 weeks as a definition.

A sentence in the bill defines gestational age as "calculated from the first day of the last menstrual period of the pregnant woman," which would move the beginning of a pregnancy up two weeks prior to conception.

My bold yet again.



Get that?

I try to look down your blouse and you are automatically pregnant if we hook up TWO FUCKING WEEKS LATER.

These people are a danger to society, period. Tell me again how there is no Republican War On women.
Out of control societal trolls with what they deem as unlimited power to control women's bodies.
There should be recall petitions flying.

After all the extremest political positions that have come out of Jan Brewer's administration, this one is over the top.
Throw in Joe Arpaio and all the crazy illegal shit he has pulled and I vote we do what the neighboring countries did to Malia recently and close the fucking borders with that state. No fuel, no fresh vegetables, no electricity and no quail wings for those insane motherfucking Republicans.

Nobody in, nobody out.
Sorry for your luck touristy people but you just might be carrying some extremist ideas back out and that would make you a Domestic Terrorist.

The First Day Of Spring

And it is snowing like a bitch outside.

Goofy fucking weather around here lately.
It is 75 degrees in Minnesota and snowing in Portland Oregon.

That's just wrong.

Just Ignore That Unholy Howling You Hear

It is just all the Demons in Hell celebrating my birthday, fifty two years ago.

As I recall from my Birth Certificate, I was born at 2:10 AM on January 31st, 1960.

That was a long time ago.
Just about the time the Oakland Raiders came into being too.
Of course, having been shat out in Oakland, ya damn well know I have been a Raiders fan my entire life.

No Color television, no remotes even, I WAS the remote, No Microwave ovens.
The Russians had just kicked our asses with Sputnik too.

No Radial tires,just one Ornery little fucking baby screaming into the void, just like I do now.
Some things just never change, I still love boobs too.

I seriously thought I would never live to see thirty way back when and now here I am still.

I must be more resilient than I imagined.
I crashed and/or totalled 29 cars in ten years in my early years and I pay for that shit every day but you can bet your ass I have some good stories to tell.

Thanks fer stopping by and have a shot for me, ya know damn good and well I will.

Mission Accomplished

It's finally a done deal.
Let me introduce to you my lovely Bride, Mrs. Ornery Bastard.

Am I a lucky sumbitch or what?
Damn, she is beautiful.

She wanted to share a couple of pictures, sorry ladies, I am married now.

It was somewhere between ninety and ninety five on Sunday and us boys could sure feel it. Wearing black shirts, pants and shoes with a freakin' tie strangling us just for good measure.

The actual ceremony only lasted a little over ten minutes and went exceptionally well.
It was a very pretty setting and quite a few folks actually showed up.
I would like to say Thank You to each and every one of them, it meant a lot to us.

It was the fiasco of getting all the pictures taken that took another two hours, with me chasing people down, running around with my clown shoes on.

We had a short reception and then drove back to my town and the party was on at the local Eagles Fraternity.

Another couple of hours of that and off we went for our honeymoon, which, by the way, got crashed by a couple of my Aunts, my cousin and her two boys.You oughtta met my Aunt Peggy, she is the female version of me without the profanity.
She is quite the party girl and totally out going. She cracks me up. get a couple of drinks in her and no man is safe.I love her to death.
That is another Blog post by it's self. I am waiting for the photographic evidence before I go into that.
It was comedic and we all had a great day.

Anyways, the fucking Drama is over.

I are married now.

Damn, I didn't realize what a good looking bastard I am.

UPDATE;

The best fucking toast I have ever heard.
" May all the ups and downs in your life be between the sheets".

Thank you Rae, her dad's toast to her.

Yet Another Great Post By Someone Else

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Pass the Popcorn

This WikiLeaks story is getting very interesting.
On one hand, I have to admire the guts of these people for shutting down some major players like  Mastercard and Visa.
On the other hand, being the old geezer I am, you people are playing with fire now.

When you start fucking around with Big Money, you will find out they have a long memory and some friends in High Places, who also have friends in Low places.

Think Guido and his propensity to break knees.

I predict this is going to end badly with a great deal of collateral damage, Net Neutrality being one of them. This will just give more ammunition to those rotten fuckers who want to limit the freedom of speech and the availability for us regular morons to have access to information on the Net without too much butt fucking by the Powers That Be.

So be it.

Kick 'em in the fucking balls while ya can.

We already live in George Orwell's predictions and we are running full tilt towards The Matrix.

The battle has been engaged, there will be casualties and I don't much care for our chances but it is too fucking late now.

Which color of pill will you take?

H/T BradBlog

Dammit! Computers Piss Me The Fuck Off Sometimes!

Aye Chingowa, dirty fucking bastards.
I was trying to post something two posts down, trying to link to one of my favorites, DriftGlass, when I noticed every fucking time I typed in that name, it came up in some strange fucking language.
I tried it four fucking times. I finally tried to get it translated by those wonderful assholes at Google and it wouldn't come up. I knew exactly what I was typing and for the life of me couldn't figure out why all of a sudden DriftGlass turned into Hindu. I did finally figure out what fucking language it was, just not why all of a sudden I needed that service.
Have I been outsourced?!! Has DriftGlass been outsourced?! What in the fucking hell is going on here? I don't need to talk to some guy calling himself Nancy  half way around the planet with the stroke of a key pad to translate what I am trying to type, I have a hard enough time with English, thank you very fucking much.
I have no motherfucking clue what happened but I did know how to cure it, deleted Firefox and reinstall the sonovabitch.
Sure as shit, fixed.
Side effects?
I lost every one of my fucking Book marks.
SHIT!!!

Again!

So, I have had it with this POS computer. I have the one they bought me a year ago at the place I used to work and that mother fucker is getting plugged in tomorrow afternoon, complete with all of my Bookmarks and some sites I saved for things like recipe's and such. At this point, I have to give a HUGE shout out to my buddy Sponge Bob Crack Whore for going out of his way to have a guy where he works put this one together and give it to me for free when my laptop died, Off the charts cool of ya dude but it is going to revert into the pieces it started out as now.
Fucking irritating cock suckers. Why all of a sudden do I need Hindu? Might as well be Chinese, at least I can recognize that shit from the spam comments.
AAAAAARGH!!

Gone Fishing

I am finally done fucking around  and going to be packing up and heading out for a few days, this place is a wreck and I don't fucking care.
 It dawned on me while I was rooting around that I have accumulated enough camping gear in the last few years that I have squirreled away here and there that I have enough shit stashed away to keep a family of four in the field for weeks. Not a bad thing in the long run but holy crap what a mess right now.
I figure I am going to be gone three days and I have already dragged out enough shit for a polar expedition.What the hell, if it all goes down the tubes tomorrow, it will be a long camping trip anyways. Better to have it than not.
I am a pack rat of the highest order I see.
Anyways don't expect anything from me for several days, I am outta here.
 I can already envision my poor little truck is going to be squatting like a drunken frat girl on a  side walk on Friday night after the bars are closed.
I haven't even got the beer and the ice yet.
 Might have to find a trailer just for that...

See ya's.

Why The Hell Am I Awake?

Five fucking thirty, I gotta pee.I stagger in and pee and pee and pee, damn, I must have drank a lot of beer yesterday.
So, now it is seven o'clock and I am still awake, fucking around on the computer.
I have already smoked two cigarettes, drank a beer and had a shot of vodka trying to knock myself back out and if anything, I am more awake now than a half hour ago.
I see a nap in my future.
I need to go snuggle up against Nasty Girl.
Actually that is a great idea, see ya.

Sinkhole

No, not the one that opened up in Guatemala...the one fucking SCOTUS opened up with this absolute bullshit ruling.

Miranda no longer applies unless you specifically tell the police up front that you are enforcing it for yourself. Which I guarantee they will promptly ignore while they attempt to interrogate your ass into an admission of guilt.

This decision is so blindingly stupid that SCOTUS ruled that the guy in question waived his Miranda rights by REMAINING SILENT. Let me just repeat that...he somehow waived his Miranda rights by failing to enunciate to the police that he was invoking them!

Yes, he was guilty and yes they trapped him into an admission. But this ruling bodes ill for the rest of us in ways that should be readily apparent.

The state will still recognize your rights under Miranda but it is no longer incumbent upon them to make sure that they are granted. You, not the state, will now be responsible for enforcing your civil rights under law.

I'm sure every police officer in America will kindly help you out with a friendly reminder. Not.

In that light, why have the fucking law at all any more? Might as well just say the hell with it and repeal it completely. If the state is no longer responsible for enforcement then it isn't even a law anymore, now is it? They just moved Miranda from the required reading list to the suggested section. Holy fucking shit.

This is a sinkhole of massive proportions and just one more example of the systematic erosion of our rights by the Federal government.

Pop quiz: name one totalitarian police state that DIDN'T get the ball rolling by stripping it's citizenry of previously held rights.

Day by day I recognize this country as the America I grew up in less and less.

spongebobcrackwhore

All At The Same Time

My to-do list, for your "sucks-to-be-you" reading enjoyment:

5 waterjet fixtures for cutting the gating off of airfoil castings. They have to be made of stainless steel, hold 4 parts each, and by the way...they can't weigh more than 35 pounds apiece. Have a nice day. And apparently they're even letting the fucking janitor review the design 'cause I'm getting feedback from people I never even heard of before.

10 machining fixtures for impeller castings...5 for milling and 5 for dilling and tapping. Oh, and anywhere from 3 to 8 parts have to fit each fixture. No, we don't have models but here are some some really crappy old drawings that you can work from. Bonus: some are in English, some in Metric. Double extra special bonus: we just got an order for a whole new part family so you'll have to make them fit somewhere without a whole new fixture.

5 semi-truck front frame assembly fixtures. You know, the whole part of the big-ass truck that holds the ENGINE? We need them all done in 8-12 weeks, designed and built. Yes...all of them. Put on your personal-trainer-with-the-fake-ponytail-hat and say "You can dooooo iiiitttt!"

All of the above at the same fucking time.

And then there's the little crap like a printer assembly fixture that the guy who quit didn't finish the drawings for. And the changes to things that various people have decided they need now, even though they approved it originally.

The shit that gets sat on for a week before I find out about it is always fun. And holy crap, I almost forgot the 3 inspection fixtures that my boss stuck me with right before he went to Europe for his cousin's wedding!

At least I've still got the other guy, on the fucking phone every day trying to drum up more. Thank you very fucking little for that. How many of me do you see?

OB...dude...Sir...I gotta work this weekend but I'm taking at least ONE day off. Fuck, I was SUPPOSED to be winding down my vacation this weekend. No rest for the wicked. Call me and we'll hit some place for a beer or five or nine.

spongebobcrackwhore

Cops in NY subways with machine guns...WTF?

This is our response to Chechen rebels setting off bombs in Russian subways. Islamic extremists/Chechen ultra-nationalist suicide bombers halfway around the world bring out cops in NY carrying machine guns in crowded public places?

Really? What the fuck are they gonna shoot...the pink mist left behind by the suicide bomber? The suspicious backpack that little kid is wearing?

This is just fucking stupid and it wouldn't make me feel safe at all. I'd want to get as far away from that cop as possible because if he did use that weapon he'd kill more innocent people than a bomb would.

Anybody who thinks this represents "security" is a fucking moron. This is nothing more than an after-the-fact-that-happened-somewhere-else display of false bravado. Those machine guns would be absolutely fucking USELESS because they would only come into play AFTER THE FACT.

We'd be far better off with tons of undercover cops trained as people watchers but that ain't gonna happen. Hell, that'd be just as boring to the cops as trying to change the system from within would have been to those militia guys they busted in Michigan the other day...

spongebobcrackwhore

Unconstitutional Mandate

The single biggest problem I have with the new health care legislation is the mandate that all Americans must purchase health care insurance. Anyone who does not faces monetary penalties, said policy to be enforced by the Internal Revenue Service.

The Federal government does not have the Constitutional authority to force any citizen to purchase a good or service. The Commerce Clause clearly establishes the authority to regulate international or inter-state commerce but that does not include mandatory participation in said commerce.

If I purchase a new table saw for my wood shop from a company in another state then the Constitution allows the Federal government to regulate that transaction because it constitutes trade between the States. The Federal government is NOT, however, empowered to make that transaction mandatory. I can decide not to buy that table saw and therefore there is no commerce to regulate.

Yes, yes...but you're required to have automobile insurance, aren't you? Not unless I choose to own and operate an automobile. And even then, the mandate of automobile insurance comes from my state who are, according to the Constitution, reserved those powers not specifically granted to the Federal government. It is still a voluntary transaction because I can choose, as many people who live in large cities do, not to own an automobile. The same argument applies to guns. I'm only required to register them if I choose to own them. What argument is there for mandating health insurance? That I'm alive? Sorry but I don't remember having a choice in the matter.

This is just as clearly a constitutional violation as The Patriot Act or any of the other abominations that the Bush Administration foisted upon us. The government does not have the authority or the right to force people to purchase health insurance any more than it has to conduct sneak-and-peek warrant less searches.

If we let them to have that power then what will we be forced to buy next? If this is allowed to stand then I can see a day when the bastards just take all your money up front and issue you vouchers to be redeemed for items they have selected for you. If they divide and conquer wisely they'll allow you the illusion of choice by letting you pick which store to use them in.

You might have some semblance of choice now...today you can select which health insurance to buy but you're still going to be forced to buy it in one form or another. Have fun making your own decisions while you can. The days of freedom and choice are drawing to a close. The nanny-state is upon us.

Move along, citizen. Nothing to see here.

spongebobcrackwhore

Maybe?

WHOO HOO! The keyboard works now!

I don't have a fucking clue what finally fixed it. I been fucking with it for four goddamn hours.
Google this, get on a discussion thread, get the fuck out, I ain't fucking with this thing any more, I killed it once already.

My buddy was awesome enough to have some one build this damn thing for me for free and it fucked up, he took it home and fixed it on his own time but the damn keyboard wouldn't work so I have been using the virtual keyboard you can find under accessories, if ya can see the fucking thing.

Whatever happened, I was for damn sure not going into the operating system.
I was going to swallow my pride and take the damn thing back to him before I even tried to fuck it up again.

I was all over the internet doing specific searches, something happened. Now I will see if the other one works tomorrow when I plug it in at the shop.
Hey, use a known good part, Ford has that advice in their factory manuals and so does Micro fucking Soft I see.

Either way, WOOT!!

Now I gotta fix the screen resolution, I can't hardly see the fucking letters I am typing.

I think I can handle that.
As my buddy said, now I can get back to pissing people off.

Merry Christmas motherfuckers.

My Achin' Ass!

A two day run away drunk,Waking up on a couch some fucking place , The laptop telling me, FUCK YOU DUDE, and what the fuck ever.
My friend Suzanne drove over and we had a good time Just sitting and bullshitting, it was nice.
We went and had some Chinese food and just plain had a good time, she is the shit.
Can you say comfortable?
That shit is far and few between.

OK, the POS had some kind of issue and It just locked up.
My bad, I downloaded some fucking Anti Virus shit and it killed the memory limit.
Then I went on a fucking tear for two fucking days and low and behold, no update.

From what I hear, I can be expecting death threats from a certain little hotties boyfriend,
when he gets out of jail.

I danced all by myself for an hour like no one was looking, then I snagged another little hottie out on the sidewalk and went to town with the nasty dancing and the sweetie actually told me that I had it going on!Sweet little thing.

WTF?
I know how to have a good time!

Nothing like that kind of shit to make an old man look forward to waking up one more time.

All that shit and more than I can remember, because I can't.
Oh yeah, I went and got the Mountain Man face cleaned off, I actually look like your average, everyday, Ornery Fucking Bastard.
It was pretty much out of control and Yippeee Kay Yay!
Ouch.
Lock up yer womens.
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!


The Strawberies are blooming.
Thanks for stopping by.