It's a long road ahead

As the years have gone by, there have been many times I have asked myself what qualifies me to be a parent. More to the point, AM I qualified to be a parent. I grew up with a hard working but mostly absent and emotionally distant mother. My parents split when I was 4 years old and (as the often heard sad story goes), saw my father sporadically. This creeps into my mind now and then when I question myself as a parent. To be honest, questioning myself happened quite a bit during the early years of my children's lives and now that they are 16 & 12 years old, it happens not as much. This past week I found myself ( and when I refer to myself in this blog when it comes to parenting, I mean with my wife as well ) having to be the stern and serious parent with my son. It is not something I do very often and I hate when I have to. I always come away from those conversations with an aching knot in my stomach. This blog was set up merely to talk about being a parent day in and day out, but I find myself wanting to write about my experiences growing up and how it affects me today. I know a lot of people question themselves when it comes to being a parent and that is good. As far as I know there is no guide book telling us what to do. The saying is true, You need to get a license to drive but not to be a parent. This is what keeps me up at night sometimes worrying about the decisions I make that are directly affecting the lives of 2 human beings. What gives me the right?...after all, the only thing I did to become a parent was buy the wine, buy the dinner, throw a few smooth lines her way ( right....) and ....well you know how the next 30 seconds go for a guy. This hardly qualifies me to be a parent. People tell us we are doing an incredible job of raising our kids and that makes me proud. I worry constantly about the future. It is something I try to dismiss as soon as it enters my cranium but it's not easy. It's a long road ahead.....I hope.

"Savor the day"