Notes from the Writing Life

Summer has always been a time for me to get a lot of writing done, so I suppose that's why it's also when I tend to learn the most about the writing process.

So! Here are some things I've (re)discovered about writing over the past few weeks:

1. There's a time and a place for everything, including writing. I like tables that are supposed to be for eating—cafeteria tables, my dining room table, diner booth tables—either early in the morning or early in the evening.

2. Editing can oppose as well as complement writing. I know a lot of people who can edit as they go along, but I can't. It kills my momentum.

3. Writing is mostly practice. Practice, patience, perseverance. You make mistakes. You learn from them. You write some more. It's more about discipline and introspection than talent, though talent certainly helps.

4. Being good at one type of writing doesn't automatically make you good at the others, but it means you can learn to be. I'm a decent poet. I used to be a lousy fiction writer. I think now I'm a mediocre fiction writer. The form you practice more, the one you read more, is the one you'll get better at.

5. Trying to publish keeps you honest. It keeps you writing, it keeps you rereading your work to understand why it wasn't accepted, it keeps you humble, it keeps you hungry. I think writers who don't attempt to publish their work can very easily become complacent and many cease to improve.

6. You can always be better. I'm skeptical that individual pieces of writing can never be improved, but flat out deny that individual writers can never improve.

7. Creative writing can be taught. This doesn't mean all students will be equally capable. Nuclear physics can be taught; are all students of nuclear physics equally capable?

8. Writing is a habit. Writing every day, even if the product is sometimes—even often—terrible, is useful. I think it produces stronger long-term results than waiting for the proverbial Muse to move you.

9. Writing well is a real skill. Although I believe that many, if not most, people could write reasonably well, very few actually do. Further, I believe that most people think they're good writers because they write every day—grocery lists, e-mails, birthday cards, &c. Literacy is not equal to writing ability. Good writers are rare and should be paid well for their work.

10. Writing is work. Writing is difficult, writing takes time, writing is not always fun. If it's what you want to do above all else, you'll find a way to do it. If you don't have the patience for revision or desire to succeed or the stomach for rejection, this line of work isn't for you.

What have you recently learned about writing, mes auteurs? And/or what are the best, worst, most and least helpful pieces of advice you've ever received with regard to writing?

He Said, She Said

I don't know whether this will become a regular segment, mes auteurs, but from time to time my myriad opinions on topics not strictly sales-related begin to back up, and I find I have to share them (whether or not they've been solicited).

"So," he said, "let us discuss dialog tags."

If you're not familiar, dialog tags are words like "said," "asked," "yelled," "shouted," &c that modify passages spoken by characters in short stories and novels to indicate speech (and sometimes the manner of speech). Some authorities maintain that all of them are acceptable, others that only "said" and "asked" are okay, and even a few hardline minimalists who only accept "said." I vacillate between the second and third categories.

There are a couple of reasons for this. First, I find properly done dialog tags beyond "said" and "asked" distracting. If characters are constantly hollering, yelling, whispering, yodeling, beseeching, imploring, choking, rasping, and croaking, I can't focus as well on the story. I should be able to tell whether a character is doing these things within the context of the scene; authors shouldn't need to communicate this to readers directly.

Which of the below do you find more effective?

"No!" Anthony shouted.

"No!" Anthony said. Susan recoiled at the force of his reply.

You probably don't even need the exclamation mark in that second one. Is it Shakespeare? No. Does it get the point across? I think so.

Second, I find that the majority of dialog tags beyond "said" and "asked" simply aren't done properly. For example, you can't "smile" or "chuckle" a line of dialog. You can smile while saying something or chuckle after saying something, but "'No,' Sue smiled," and "'Why not,' Dad chuckled" are both annoying and physically impossible. (Please note the difference between "'Yes,' Sue smiled" and "'Yes.' Sue smiled.")

Final thought: I think "asked" is sort of superfluous, since the question mark in the line of dialog already tells you that what is being said is being asked, but I find it relatively unobtrusive, so I don't have a major beef with it.

What do you think, meine Autoren?

The [Your Name Here]'s Daughter, Revisited

I've covered the topic of The [Your Name Here]'s Daughter (a.k.a. The [Adjective] Wife) before, but as the trend (to my continual consternation) continues, I figure it bears revisiting.

Publishing is fraught with trends. This is for two reasons: one, would-be authors (who are also readers) see successful books and want to write similar books in the hope that they will also be successful, and publishers (who always want The Next Big Thing™) see successful books (either theirs or their competitors') and want to publish similar books in the hope that they will also be successful. (It's a vicious cycle.) Unfortunately, only a small percentage of these books catch on and become bestsellers, the rest fail to earn out their advances, authors and publishers everywhere are confused, and the process begins again when a new trend starts to catch on.

I generally advise you, gentle readers, not to play the trend game because 1.) the trend will likely be exhausted by the time your book comes out, and 2.) even if it isn't, there's no guarantee your book will be one of The Chosen Ones that readers everywhere simply MUST HAVE. Which trends in particular do I think are nearing their ends? Well, I'm glad you asked.

· The [Your Name Here]'s Daughter/The [Adjective] Wife. Archetype: Audrey Niffenegger's The Time Traveler's Wife. I recently mentioned my personal grievances with this trend to a colleague, who simply responded, "Yeah, but The [Your Name Here]'s Wife sells!" (The trend, not any title in particular.) Which is true! At least, it's true for now. As the market becomes saturated with this particular variety of women's fiction, however, I think more and more consumers will turn elsewhere for new reads.

· Vampires/Werewolves. Archetype: Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. No, really. Authors who have already established themselves as brands with this subject, like Meyer or Charlaine Harris, can pretty much continue to write vampire novels until the turn of the century. You, who are just starting out, do not have this luxury. Vampires and werewolves will always be cool, but they won't be as cool as they are now for a long time. Putting werewolves in space or making vampires fallen angels will not increase their coolness. Trust me.

· Mash-ups. Archetype: Seth Grahame-Smith's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. More or less the exclusive province of Quirk Books, this relatively short-lived trend probably won't survive long after the publisher's release of Android Karenina later this month.

· Anything based around the world ending in 2012. Archetype: Too many to count. As you might expect, this trend will cease to be cool on or around January 1st, 2013.

While I don't want to tell you what to write, you might notice that the women's fiction and YA crowds are well-represented here. This means (as usual) two things: first, they're bigger markets, so you're more likely to sell a greater number of copies if your book succeeds, and second, they're bigger markets, so there's a lot more competition. O, the cruel double-edged sword of publishing!

Incidentally, it also might mean we need a few more non-YA bro-oriented books out there. Just saying.

11,000 Rejections on the Wall, 11,000 Rejections

We've talked about the long odds in this industry from time to time, bros and she-bros, and so I thought I'd use this Monday morning to 1.) give you a realistic idea of how difficult it is to get your work published, and 2.) relate an inspirational, true story of one man, his 100+ published short stories, and his, uh... 11,100 rejections.

Meet Jacob M. Appel. Dude is a doctor lawyer astronaut bounty hunter spy with seven degrees—an AB, two AMs, an MPhil, an MFA, an MD, and a JD, from places like Brown, Columbia, NYU, and Harvard. How he somehow fit thirty years of elite schooling into his life by the age of 37 is a mystery to me. (Incidentally, yesterday was his birthday. Happy birthday, Jacob!)

Sidebar: I actually don't know Jacob in real life, so I suppose my wishing him a happy birthday is somewhat creepy. Hopefully he won't be freaked out when I friend him on Facebook.

The point of this story, though: Jacob has published short stories in some of the most prestigious literary journals and magazines in the country, but he also garnered over eleven thousand rejections in the process. How many have you acquired, gentle reader? One? Ten? A hundred? If so, keep at it, because until you top Jacob's high score, I don't want to hear about you quitting the writing racket. When you're a fancy published author one, two, five, or fifteen years down the line, you can use collages of your rejection slips as the endpapers of your book, or at the very least give it a delightfully snarky title. No self-publishing, though; we all know how I feel about that.

If you've got any uplifting stories of literary success despite myriad rejections, feel free to share them in the comments!

Les Réponses

As promised, ladies and gents, my answers to your questions from yesterday:

christicorbett writes:

How much does author initiative for marketing and promotion matter to a first book deal?

As with everything, it's secondary to your writing, but authors who are willing to do more for their book absolutely have a leg up over authors who aren't. MORE TK.

Lydia Sharp writes:

Define "midlist."

According to Wikipedia:

Midlist is a term in the publishing industry which refers to books which are not bestsellers but are strong enough to economically justify their publication (and likely, further purchases of future books from the same author).

According to Wikiquote:

Unlikely to be more than modestly successful.

According to Bookjobs:

Midlist: Books with a strong intellectual or artistic bent which have a chance of significant success but are not assumed to be likely bestsellers.

According to me: an author with potential.

Scott writes:

Has the vampire thing about run its course?

Who knows? In my opinion: yes, unless Stephenie Meyer releases a new book in the next year or two. Zombies already seem to be the next cool thing, followed by (ostensibly) steampunk.

-30- writes:

If I were to publish my book, and in the course of my travels to visit friends and family wanted to stop in at my favorite old book shops and retailers to sign some copies, would I have to coordinate with the publisher or just give the store a call directly?

You generally want to run these sorts of things by your agent, as (s)he will be in touch with your publisher and will be aware of any media opportunities that may arise from such visits, but if you're a debut author, you'll probably be able to call the store directly (if you want to schedule a signing event). If you just want to sign some stock, you might be able to just drop in, but again, best to check with your agent.

Jodi writes:

If I were to sell my books at a signing—say at a library—do I have to charge tax, have a tax ID number, or what?

I don't recall anyone charging tax at any of the smaller signings I've attended (and I've attended several), but you'd want to check with your state government regarding applicable tax law. Some states will require that you have a state tax license (and this may change depending on how much revenue you're generating), and others won't.

Eric (not me!) writes:

When I sent out my nonfiction book proposal, I had two publishers interested. As one consideration in selecting the publisher, I went to Barnes and Noble to see how many books from these publishers were on the shelves. Turns out quite a lot for one of them. I went with that publisher, considered a leading religious publishing house.

Now that the book is published (this past November) I don't see any books from this publisher in my local Barnes & Noble. Including mine. Has there been some sort of re-organization or winnowing of publishers by Barnes & Noble bricks-and-mortar over the past couple of years?

No, not to my knowledge. It's possible something specifically occurred between Barnes & Noble and your publisher, but without knowing who they are, I really couldn't say. Feel free to e-mail me if you want to discuss further.

writingstudio writes:

How do you find out what books were/are considered successes within a publishing house? Years ago I asked an editor at a conference about a book that I had thought was a success and he just shook his head and said 'it didn't earn back its advance.'

And, as an adjunct to that question, is there a place to find out what books took off with the buying public versus those that disappointed when both were on the bestseller lists?

Without talking to someone in-house, it's pretty difficult to tell. You would have to know the author's advance, royalty structure, the number of units sold (and at what discount), and a host of other details that you would probably only find in the P&L or in-house POS data to know whether a book, regardless of how many copies it sold, was profitable.

As for a place where one might find out which bestsellers outperformed others, your best bet is our old friend BookScan.

The Dad Lunch Round-Up: Redux

Laura is unavailable this fine morning, ladies and gents, so I will be in charge of the frivolity and general broings-on today. What does that mean? Well, a round-up, but one that is less informative and more ridiculous than my last one (since it wasn't "fun" enough, according to some people).

Tallyho!

While having a drink with an industry professional or two last night, the subjects of (surprise!) literature and poetry came up. So, in the spirit of including you all in my after-hours life, I ask you: what do you think of bad poetry jokes? (Answer: all of McSweeney's lists are pretty great.) Twitter now sports the longest poem in the world, and (because I actually can't help but be informative), an NEA survey (warning: long .pdf) says that poetry reading is on the decline. O, fie! O most wicked speed!

In more mash-up news, the quirky folks who brought you Pride and Prejudice and Zombies will be releasing Android Karenina in June. (Do you hear that? That's Tolstoy hitting 1,000 RPM in his grave.) I am delighted to report, however, that the Internet (hallowed be Thy name) has recently gifted me with a brilliant non-mash-up parody, The Two Gentlemen of Lebowski, which is what The Big Lebowski would look like if Shakespeare had written it. Pure comic genius.

In case you missed The Rejectionist's posts on what not to write about, Vice Magazine has a few more ideas. Caveat: I guess you could write about these things if you were to do it in a new and interesting way, but since almost nobody does, best to steer clear.

Finally, in the miscellaneous-and-mildly-soul-crushing category, the slush pile is dead (so get an agent!), the French are trying to socialize e-books (that ain't ne'er gon' happen here in 'MERICA), and some poets are murderers.

Have a great weekend!

Out With the Aughts, In With the Teens

Christmas turkey: consumed, tenth anniversary of the apocalypse: celebrated, and now our regularly scheduled programming: back in full force. Thanks again to our three guest posters from last month, and I hope you all had enjoyable holiday breaks!

I figured I'd ease back into the publishing biz with today's post (it is, after all, the first Monday of the new year), partly because I don't trust myself to write a thoughtful and engaging industry-related post so early in said new year (I'm still accidentally writing "2001" on all my checks), but mostly because I am distracted by 1.) all the cool toys I got last week and 2.) the mounting feeling of dread associated with coming back to an overflowing inbox at Ye Olde Publishinge House. Therefore, I present to you my resolutions for the new year and humbly request that you do the same in the comments:

1. Read all the books on the Modern Library Best 100 Novels list that I haven't already read. (Ambition level on a scale of 1 to 10: 7.)

2. Get back to exercising regularly. (Ambition level: 5.)

3. Drink more wine (hopefully learning something about it in the process) so I can make a cool bulletin board out of all the corks. (Ambition level: 3.)

4. Make good on my threat of buying myself an Xbox 360. (Ambition level: 2.)

5. Finish the Current Novels-in-Progress—yes, sirs and madams, I am a noveliste as well! (Ambition level: 12.)

What about you?

The Dad Lunch Round-Up

Laura is out of town for the weekend, muchachos and muchachas, so I'll be handling this week's round-up. And, just like when your mom was sick and your dad packed your school lunch for you, it's going to be a little weird, vaguely unsatisfying, and possibly downright awkward ("you have to put the soup in something, Dad").

Onward!

If you've recently been reading the newly fancified blog of one Nathan Bransford, you'll know that the question of publishers delaying e-book releases is on the mind of many a publishing professional this season. What do you think? Are publishers only doing themselves harm by releasing e-versions of books months after the hardcovers go on sale? (And speaking of fancification, both Nathan and The Rejectionist have given their blogs serious e-makeovers. Will PMN be next?)

But yes, back to e-book delays—with several of the large New York houses getting in on the act, it's sure to add fuel to the fire concerning the Kindle (pun intended) and Amazon's eventual takeover of planet Earth. Then again, some are speculating that Apple will be our new Cosmic Overlord, not Amazon or Google, so be on the lookout for that in 2010.

While we're on the subject of the death of print media, I've got some good news and bad news. First, the bad: Editor & Publisher and Kirkus Reviews will be shutting down at the end of this year, which is kind of an ominous omen. The good: hardcover sales of Ted Kennedy's True Compass are so good that his publisher is delaying the release of the paperback. Thanks, Oprah!

The holiday season is all about buying, and for those of you who are curious, Bloomberg just bought a news company, more New York Times reporters are accepting buyouts, and nobody wants to buy Borders UK. Random House hasn't bought anyone new lately, but they have restructured the Crown Publishing Group, a continuation of the corporate shuffle initiated by CEO and Chairman Markus Dohle just about a year ago.

As I've mentioned before, books are great gifts, and now is the time to stock up on works (electronic or otherwise) by your favorite author(s). It's H.P. Lovecraft Month at Tor.com, there's going to be a PBS biopic about Louisa May Alcott, Jonathan Safran Foer talks about the morality of vegetarianism, and the epic battle for Stieg Larsson's estate continues. Oh, the humanity!

Seriously, though, what are you still doing here? I said "now is the time!" Counting today, there are only fourteen more shopping days until Christmas (and only one until Hanukkah). Leave work early, grab a stiff cup of nog, and hit the stores.

Happy weekend, everyone!

I Got 99 Blog Posts (Plus A Bonus One)

It's time to bust out the champagne and tiny hors d'œuvres, mes amis, because today marks our 100th post here on PMN. That's right: if I had a nickel for every blog post here on Pimp My Novel, I would have five whole dollars. That's lunch at Subway, assuming I don't want chips or a drink or have to pay any kind of tax. And to think that it feels like it all started only yesterday.

Laura and I have posted on a variety of topics over the past few months, covering everything from co-op to remaindered titles to the perils of self-publishing. So, while I crack open the bubbly in celebration of my blogging achievements/anticipation of the upcoming, unavoidable, annual Thanksgiving Day fiasco that is bearing down on me with terrifying speed, let me know: what have been your favorite PMN moments? Least favorite? Most interesting posts, least interesting posts, theories on expansion to Twitter, Facebook, &c? Suggestions for the addition of a new semi-regular feature (e.g. "Prithee, Inform Me," "Monday Mailbag")?

To the comments with you!

Going Rogue & the New York Bubble

If you've been reading the news lately, you may have heard that one Mrs. Sarah Palin is releasing a book this fall. Going Rogue: An American Life is already #1 on barnesandnoble.com and amazon.com, set for an initial print run of 1.5 million copies, and it's got everyone I know in New York asking: who the hell is going to buy this?

Now, I pride myself on having a fairly diverse group of friends, but even my conservative compatriots are scratching their heads over this one. It's not like we all think that people who are interested in Sarah Palin are illiterate or hillbillies or anything, but no one I've talked to (in the industry or outside it) seems to be able to name anyone they know who'd really want to read it (or, at least, spend $30 on it—and with the e-book delayed until after Christmas, there won't be a $9.99 version anytime soon).

And then I realized something: all of the people I talked to are currently in New York City, are from New York City, or have otherwise been significantly influenced by New York City, one of the most liberal cities in the United States. Suddenly, it all sort of makes sense.

If you haven't heard, we're notorious for believing civilization ends at the Hudson, and more than one coworker has expressed his opinion to me that acquisition editors are often hampered by the fact that what they think people want to read is really just what they think New Yorkers want to read. We New York folk live in a bubble of sorts, and since the heart, left lung, left kidney, and spleen of publishing are all in NYC, it makes sense that a lot of books will skew in that direction. Thus, if the books we generate favor a New York audience and a New York audience, in general, tends toward liberal politics, there would be some correlation between what's being published and that which is politically left of center (QED).

Despite this, however, we publishing folk (especially those of us in sales) are aware of the broad appeal conservative voices have in the market: just look at recent bestsellers by authors like Glenn Beck, Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, and Dick Morris. We might not really get it, but we know from last year's election that there are a lot of people (roughly half the country) who might be interested in reading Sarah Palin's memoirs, and by golly, if we think you'll buy it, we're going to publish it. Done and done.

Now, before I open this up for comments, a necessary disclaimer: PMN is not a political blog and, while open and honest debate are highly encouraged, I realize that political discussions could potentially get out of hand. Therefore, any and all inappropriate comments—especially anonymous ones—will be deleted post-haste.

That said, you tell me: are you going to be buying Going Rogue on November 17th, either for yourself or as a gift? Who do you know who will? Do you think the New York Bubble™ has clouded the collective Jedi mind powers of publishing industry insiders (yours truly included)?

¡Happy Punctuation Day!

That's right folks, today is officially Punctuation Day. So corral your commas, saddle up your semicolons, and let's hit the dusty Publishing Trail. (If you're wondering about the cowboy theme, it was also recently Louis L'Amour Day.) Today's topic: the importance of good writing.

True, our dear friend The Rejectionist has a point: no matter how heartbreakingly beautiful your prose, you're not going to sell a book if nothing actually happens in it. And, to be brutally honest, you can probably sell a copy or two with a great idea, great pacing, and relatively average writing. However, you cannot, cannot, cannot make errors in spelling, grammar, or punctuation and assume they'll all be caught by editorial before your book goes to print. You can't be stylistically boring. In fact, you can't just be good. You can't even be great. You need to be as perfect as humanly possible.

Here's why: every week in this country, tens of thousands of books are published. Said published books are only a fraction of the books that are accepted by agents and shopped to publishers, which are in turn only a fraction of all the books written and submitted by you, the unpublished. (Much like Editorial Anonymous, I am not a fan of the phrase "pre-published." Litotes, people!)

The point is, there are hundreds of thousands—if not millions—of people competing with you for book deals. Since (sadly) most of you won't get one, you need every advantage possible if you want even a prayer of seeing your work on a book store shelf someday. Now, it might be enough to have a solid plot, great pacing, good voice, strong characters. You might be able to get away with average writing/spelling/grammar if you've got a stellar agent and editor on your hands. Then again, maybe not. Why leave anything to chance?

In short: make sure you dodecatuple-check your MS, get all your !s, ?s, ""s, ;s, and —s squared away, and only send agents the absolute best piece of work you are capable of creating. They're going all out for you. You need to go all out for you, too.