Last Lines: Wonder Woman #14 (Spoilers)

I realize now that I'm the only one who hasn't blogged a review. Well, it was really good and I am not very good at the positive reviewing thing. I tend to just go "ooo..." when I react to something I like and that's not very interesting to read.

But I feel a bit nostalgic for when I did do weekly reviews, so let's examine the last line of the issue.

"Kill all you find!"

This is said when arriving on a particular island.

Those of you who read the issue, stop and think for a moment about who is on that island. She was right in the opening part of the book.

Think about the speaker. The leader of a bunch of Nazis.

Now, think about this character's history and the team membership that seems (at least according to lines dropped in JSA and one conversation with Wildcat last issue) to still be in continuity. Then think about how likely she is to react to a bunch of Nazis who intend to kill her.

Think also about this character's history of lacking restraint in battle.

There are very few ways that this encounter could suck, even fewer of which tend to be found in a Gail Simone comic.

Last Lines (It's Been a While, Hasn't It?)

As per usual, there are spoilers contained below.
The Complete Wynonna Earp, JSA #85, Supergirl #6, Action Comics #838, Superman #652, Infinite Crisis #7, 52 #1, Action Comics #1, and Ion #1
Spoilers here
The Complete Wynonna Earp -- "Adios Trooper. Be seeyin' ya."

I hope we'll see her again. I read the entire trade, and the art was hideous (Joyce Chin, then Pat Lee) in the first few stories, but I liked Wynnona herself enough that it didn't bother me. One of those aggressive, no-nonsense heroes. Kalinara was right, women don't suffer under Beau Smith's pen (his Wonder Woman in Warrior was pretty cool, actually), they get to be leaders and save the day. Now I wish I'd gotten to see him write the more traditionally feminine Ice.

Its a shame that the last story in the book was the one where they finally got a decent artist with talent beyond bad cheesecake.


JSA #85 -- "Alan!"

Alan! Are you healed up enough to join us in solving this problem, or is this last arc of JSA going to be like all the other JSA arcs?


Supergirl #6 -- "Summon your sisters. There's hunting to be done."

This is what they get for dressing up like Kryptonian Gamebirds.


Action Comics #838 -- "I'm -- I'm not-- Not--"

Yes, Clark, you are.


Superman -- "And there's a buzzing in my brain --"

No insights or snarkiness here, I just enjoyed reading that line.


Infinite Crisis #7 -- "And I've gotten out."

Oh please, I know exactly what this means. This means we're going to see him at the end of the year in some huge crossover getting his ass beat down yet again with a HUGE Green Lantern crossover brawl where we find out that Kyle has not been evil (just manipulated/insane) and Prime still busts through the thin green line to be stopped by Superman, Power Girl, Supergirl, all 4 Wonder Women, and, inexplicably, Batman and Co.

But on the bright side, we'll get to see Guy call him whiney again.



52 #1 -- "Are You Ready?"

Sheesh, how cheesily metatextual can you get?


Action Comics #1 (Courtesy of The Superman Chronicles Volume 1) -- "Missed -- Doggone it!"

Those words were spoken by Superman as he lept rooftop to rooftop carrying a traumatized henchman. Then, then issue ended, to be picked up in Action Comics #2. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, the very first Superman story was a two-parter! A cliff-hanger! Take that, Cult of the Single Issue Story-Arc!!


Ion #1 -- "I don't know why you came here, but you're not going to take me."

I thought for a long time about this line (longer than you think, actually, as I managed to get my hands on a black and white preview copy at the end of March). You see, I've railed on Marz's plotting skills, but his strength is normally in dialogue (well, that and completely unintentional symbolism -- I'll tell you all about the triple layers of text I saw in the Fridge scene someday, I promise). This was an awkward line. It seemed rushed, clumsily assembed. It was out of context. He knew exactly why that woman was there. She'd told him. It can't have been that hastily written off, since Kyle says the same line earlier in the... Suddenly the whole book comes together. Of course the line's awkward and out of place, Kyle's not connecting fully with the situation. The boy's no longer living within the borders of reality. When you think about it, the dreamy incomplete art (with a conspicuous lack of visible Green Lantern backside! Hmph!) seems to fit that way. He's losing his mind.

It's about damned time. That kid has been through Hell and back (literally, figuratively, multiple times and on alien planets), he's been thrown into combat with zero training, thrown across the universe without a map, stalked by cheesy Captain Atom villains, on the hitlist of every criminal organization in the freaking universe, manipulated, mind-controlled, had his heart torn out (literally and figuratively), been stabbed in the back (literally and figuratively), kidnapped (many, many times), strapped to tables, tortured, experimented on, rewired, tossed across dimensions, powered up, powered down, powered sideways, powered by a vindictive dead woman ("Not listen to me in the middle of a battle, huh? Well, here, live with a constant reminder of how my death is your fucking fault, Kyle!!"), mentally and emotionally attacked by Giant Yellow Fearbugs (from Outer Spaaaace!!!), forced to deal with Brainiac 2, leered at by Hal Jordan, dated by Donna Troy -- Something's gotta give!

And (*Wicked Cackling*) it has. In no time at all we'll see him locking himself into his studio for ten day binges of coffee and dry kool-aid as he paints Crazy Modern Art that monsters leap out of, people get sucked into, and Brainiac 2 steals to sell at outrageous prices to Green Lanterns who think it's good luck.

As for the why, well, I wouldn't really care, except that I suspect it involves bondage of some sort. He's clearly reliving some horrible trauma that happened right before the first page (Umm... Who had "During the One Year Gap" on the Kyle kidnapping pool?), and he's become some sort of touch freak. There will be much more insanity and destruction before this story-arc ends, glorious insanity and destruction and I'm going to follow Kyle's cute (and hopefully visible next issue) little butt the whole way, baby!

Short and Sweet: Last Lines for 12/7/05

Spoiler Warning

Boneyard #20 -- Oh no, Thank you.
And Thank you, Richard Moore, for writing this series.

JSA #80 -- Take 'em as they come, Ted. One day at a time.
A refreshing sentiment from the Greatest Hero of the Golden Age. He outlines to his old friend the ideal strategy for dealing with the events of Infinite Crisis. Take them as they come. These messes are converging, and snowballing, and all of the younger heroes are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, but this sage elder just calmly walks off panel, awaiting the next mess. He doesn't panic, he doesn't argue, he doesn't bite his nails and wonder what to do. This is why the JLA has disbanded, ther headquarters in ruins, while the JSA, though scattered and battered, still remains strong and ready to fight.

Ultimates 2 #9 -- The Great Satan has just been liberated.

Big build-up to a lackluster statement. Quite fitting for this comic.

Jonah Hex #2 -- Not so poor... They're buried in silver.

Ahh... Jonah Hex, Master of Poetic Justice. Is there anything not to love about this comic?

Gotham Central #38 -- ...Help Me...
Fitting to end this comic with a plea that could have been stated by any of the characters, just as any of the three featured cops now has a good reason to become the Spectre. Each would have a different flavor to add to the Spectre -- Redemption (Not the whiny "I just want a second chance" Redemption but the Spectre's true motivation of burning away the evil inside Redemption), Justice, and pure Wrathful Vengeance -- and each are equally poised for the job (Remember, there's still another issue in this arc before the Day of Vengeance special and any one of them can bite it)

Last Week's Last Lines

Well, snow on the roads kept me from the LCS today ("But, aren't you originally from Pennsylvania?" the clerk asked when I called him to pull the books, "Yes," I answered, "and I hated driving in the snow there too!" That and nobody in Oklahoma can drive on a clear day, so it's certainly not worth the risk in a snowstorm), and fear of spoilers keeps me from roaming the message boards tonight, so I figured I'd do a few reviews since I haven't done so in two months.

Naturally, I'll be basing my opinions on the most important line of the issue -- the one the writer leaves you with. So, Spoilers ahead -- but they are all for last week.

Jonah Hex #1 -- Now he wasn't so sure.
A beautiful piece of narration that captures the mood of the entire story. Also a testament to not judging a comic by the first page. I glanced at the first page in the comic book store, and put it back. Too heavy on the narration, I thought to myself, I'd better just save my three dollars. However, after the tenth positive review I saw on line, I figured I'd give the first book a shot. I'm glad I made it to the last page this time.

Plastic Man #19 -- Turn me so I can see.
If you read this book, you would understand the joke. So, if you're not laughing, shame on you for killing this title.

JLA: Classified #14 -- Ukk!
Ah, the unmistakable sound of a Green Lantern getting kicked in the face. For some reason, physical violence against Lanterns really cheers me up. I think it has something to do with the sheer amount of power they command. There's something satisfying in seeing one get knocked out by a lamp, or dropped with a single punch, or have to grapple for his life.
Of course, I'd have enjoyed it more if it hadn't taken four issues to get to this point. That's what off about this arc, it's just too slow. I was really pleased to see this lineup in JLA:Classified #10 (the best issue of the arc so far), but my nostalgic expectations were set too high. It's not the plot, the dialogue, the mood, the art (although I don't like Butch Guice's Kyle, too old), it's just the pacing. And it's not even that so much as the pacing compared to the usual hyperactive pacing associated with this lineup. The plodding speed would have been acceptable with the Detroit group, or Jones' league, or the satellite league, or even the most recent lineup -- but any version of the Justice League with Kyle Rayner in it demands faster pacing and considerably more action. I know Warren Ellis wants to hang a little cloud of Impending Doom over everyone's head here, but it just doesn't fit these people. I find myself disliking this arc through no real fault of the writer, other than a poor choice of casting. This is a shame, because I know Ellis is capable of approaching Morrison and Kelly action levels. I think if he'd written this more like Transmetropolitan or Authority and less like Planetary or Fell more people would be satisfied.

Fell #3 -- No charge for the suit.
A slight smile at the end frames an overall enjoyable read. Like the book itself, it's simple on the surface but substantial when you look into it.

Seven Soldiers: Frankenstein #1 -- Frankenstein Lives!
Morrison has written much snappier dialogue.

Seven Soldiers: Zatanna #4 -- My stepmother's about to invade the earth. I thought of you.
Like here.

The Flash #228 -- ...I've made some progress.
No, you haven't. This current plot has done nothing to make you seem any more dangerous. You are still a cheesy villain who will get his butt kicked. The only reason you did so well is that the Flash is acting remarkably stupid right now as he coasts towards cancellation. If Wally dies this crossover, it won't be in this storyline.

Daredevil #79 -- I think you should tell them were your friend is or I do believe they will put you in jail.
I remember when I first started reading this book. I loved Bendis writing. He makes monologues sound like a real person ranting, as opposed to a prepared, scripted speech. There was something very raw and unusual about it. Of course, like most of my romantic relationships, my love affair with Bendis' writing was doomed to fade. With constant exposure, love turned slowly to mere like, then to utter annoyance. After a while I noticed every character spoke in ranting monoloques and no action ever actually occurred. This line is a perfect Brian Michael Bendies last line. Long, wordy, pretends to urgency, but falls flat after the fourth or fifth issue that ends with a similar note.

Captain Atom: Armageddon #2 -- I'm going to tap into some real power.
This final panel promise of fun ahead bodes well for the next issue. This is better than any cliffhanger. Nobody should be surprised at Capt. Atom's plan of action, but everyone should be looking forward to the results.

Last Line Round-up

I have squandered my valuable time with schoolwork. As a result, I have not written full reviews for nearly a month. And, with two speeches due this week, I don't have time to do full reviews this week. However, I felt a need to weigh in on Infinite Crisis. So, in the interest of brevity, I'm going to review the last bit of dialogue or internal monologue from each of the Crisis lead-ins and the first issue itself, along with the accompanying artwork. A good writer should be able to convey a lot in the last line, after all.

And of course there are Spoilers below. I'm talking about the last page here!


The OMAC Project #6
"It feels nothing."

This line was delivered by Batman. It, and the accompanying page, demonstrate one of the Major Laws of the DCU ever since Green Lantern: Rebirth -- Even when he comes to the correct conclusion, and does everything right, Batman is Still Always Wrong in Some Way. It's a frightening change from Morrison Uber-Bats.


Day of Vengeance #6
"Of course we're with you, boss, we're superheroes."

Just taking this line out of the mini-series makes the entire mini, placed against the entire tone of Countdown, 10 times better than when I actually read it. What a way to drive home the theme, Willingham. Good job with this one.


JLA #119
"Wait... You're..."

Martian Manhunter perfectly articulates the feeling conveyed by the entire DCU line this month.


DC Special: The Return of Donna Troy #4
"This is too much--too big! I need help!"

Thank you, Donna Troy, for setting the Women's Movement even further back. Wuss.


Rann-Thanagar War #6
"The Guardians' side, Poozer -- the side of the whole universe!"

Kilowog answers the question posed on the cover of Issue 1 in a way that beautifully defines the point of being a Green Lantern. A lot of people have been complaining about Gibbons, but I, for one, am glad the new GLC writer has such a handle on the Lanterns (and is willing to accept ideas from online ramblers!).

Note: This mini would have worked a lot better if this hadn't only been the last of the dialogue, but the last of the verbage for the entire mini. There was some useless narration on the last page that could have been replaced to better effect with the second half of Kilowog's line. But, I'm willing to forgive a lot with Dave Gibbons since he gives Kyle and his fans so much respect, and worked so hard to cram so much into so little space.



Villains United #6
"Aw, Hell. Lets just flip a coin."

I think the question this was answering is fairly obvious.


Infinite Crisis #1
"This looks like a job for Superman!"

After six months of cursing the darkness, this last page is way beyond lighting a candle. This is lighting the freaking Sun.

That line, and the accompanying splash page, made the entire issue worth it. It made the entire Countdown worth it. I'll even go so far as to say it made the Deathstroke fight in Identity Crisis worth it.
I got all tingly and giggly. I had to stand up, pace, then sit down. I couldn't read another book that night. It may sound corny and cliche, but somehow Geoff Johns can make the corny and cliche work very well. That's pretty talented in our society of cynics. I think he does it by surrounding the cliche in tragedy, so that it seems extra-special. I am loving this so far.