'High' in the sky

As I sit down to write this blog, "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" has already grossed 1 billion dollars worldwide. It's one of those things a fan-boy always feels proud of. It's like a victory for the home-team. The movie's going to smash plenty of records. I can bet my life on it.

Star Wars is a phenomenon. Quote. Unquote. On a galactic scale. No one in his right mind can deny this. One movie, 38 years ago, redefined movie-watching experience for generations to come. Together with its sequels and prequels, it set the platinum standard for what an addictive loyalty to a cinematic franchise looks like. It generated awe-inspiring, fan-frenzied ripples through popular consciousness on a mind-boggling scale. We still haven't got over the high. It spawned a generation of Star Wars junkies like me. Star Wars video games, novels, comics, animated series and a smorgasbord of movie memorabilia shove and jostle for space on the neural shelves of our attention-banks.

Ten years have passed since Episode III: Revenge of the Sith and we are still in need of the occasional fix like recovering drug-addicts. We don't mind more of those needles up our veins.

Speaking of fixes and needles, allow me to give you a few faint clues of how far the Star Wars culture has gone up my nose. I have a R2-D2 pen-stand sitting on my computer table right now. When I was in school and college, I collected all the Star Wars posters I could lay my hands on. There are two strung up on my bedroom even as I speak. Three or four Darth Vader and Storm Trooper masks are shoved away at the back of my cupboard. And you just have to step by my place to have a peek-a-boo at my light saber collection. I have fourteen of them. Yes. You read correct. Fourteen. Yes, yes, I know the judging looks on those faces of yours right now. Big-time nerd. Bigger-time fan. Guilty as charged.

If my mom hadn't convinced me to give away a sizable chunk of my Star Wars toys and action-figures, I would have needed every millimeter of our store-room to stash them. Moms can get pretty convincing. Especially when the subject of kicking me out of my house in order to make room for my stuff comes up. It essentially strips down to bare-bones existence. An existential crisis. It's either them or me. And I get to live through the horror of choosing which childhood treasures to keep and which to throw away. Jeez. Gives me the heebie jeebies even to think about it.

And then there was the day my first girlfriend asked me if Chewbacca was some special-flavored chewing gum. The world looked bleak. This relationship was going to be a bumpy ride.

Kisne kaha mohabbat asaan hota hai,haan?

Mohabbat vi Star Wars ki tarah hota hai.

Har mor asaan nahin hota, har mor pe khushiyaan nahin hoti.

Image is under Creative Commons license. Original pic and its usage terms can be found here.

Once in school, I participated in a fest where I was supposed to pen a movie-review. I poured my love out for the original Star Wars trilogy in a starstruck drool-fest overflowing with sentiment and emotion. It was a day unlike any other. I had entered an altered state. The word-limit was 500. I think I went well over 2000. My pen was scribbling so fast I wonder how it didn't burn smoking holes into the paper. It was like writing a darned love-letter. An honest confession of the purest emotions clogging my soul and choking my heart with unstoppable rapture. When I was finished, I revised the stuff, giving myself a moment to marvel at the glory of my creation. I didn't win any prize. The flair of my pen went unsung and unrewarded, but that's okay. Were it up to me, I'd have stopped at nothing short of awarding myself a Nobel for that review. It was pure poetry.

I had written it all!

A hero's journey from being a bored farm-boy to being the 'chosen one'. The David Vs Goliath struggle of Luke Skywalker pitted against the Empire. The dash of danger and romance which the wild pair of Hans Solo and Leia brought into the mix. The comic relief and 'Aww!So cute!' camaraderie of R2-D2 and C-3PO. The shocking father-son reveal at the end of Episode V. Darth Vader's story- falling to darkness and then redemption in his dying moments. Heroes snatching victory from the jaws of defeat by standing on the shoulders of great sacrifices. The sheer enormity and the magnificence of the universe which the movies spanned. All the super-cool props- the guns, the space-ships, the light sabers (the last item never fails to make my drool-meter hit the sky)! The majesty of space which provided the backdrop to this epic drama. It was like the finest creative minds had come together to cherry-pick the best bits of the greatest stories and then combine them into a grand, jaw-dropping space-fantasy. And last, but not the least, Yoda.

Last, but not the least, be mentioned, I shall.

Image is under Creative Commons license. Original pic and usage terms can be found here.

When I was a kid, I wanted to go dressed to all fancy-dress competitions as Yoda. I had the light saber. I had the robes. But the tricky part was always the mask itself. My mom had tried (and failed on a galactic scale) on multiple occasions to make a Yoda mask for me with the pointy ears and stuff. But I always managed to end up looking like a dork with a bright green cauliflower on his head. The Force failed her each time. Mom often asked me why I didn't want to go as Obi-Wan in stead. No need for a crazy mask whose elaborate manufacturing would drive her to tears. A mere beard would suffice.

But where was the fun in that? By the second go, I had a pretty good idea that mom was going to make a mess of the mask every time, with perfect consistency. Which basically meant that I could guilt-trip her into giving me other goodies later on. The eight second long diabolical laugh track of Emperor Palpatine goes here. I make the bad guys of Star Wars lore feel proud. Smirk.

Speaking of goodies, when I came across the Indiblogger HP Star Wars topic, the fan-boy in me just couldn't resist. I have gone through the unboxing videos of HP Star Wars Special Edition Notebook. And I was like...well...

Image is under Creative Commons license. Original pic and its usage terms can be found here.

It starts right from the packaging. Two boxes, one inside the other, both with magnetic clasps. The smaller one even has a "You don't know the power of the dark side" message inscribed within. The foam inserts protecting the notebook are shaped like Imperial Star-fighters! Sweet! The Force is strong with this one! The touch-pad has got the X-wing targeting system of Luke's Death Star trench run etched on it. To top it all, there are those Aurebesh font glyphs on the notebook hinge and beside the track-pad.

Aurebesh font was something which sprung out of the Star Wars movies but which later took on a life of its own. Techies have actually come up with real, authentic computer True Type fonts based on Aurebesh. This particular special edition laptop has an Aurebesh system font installed too.

Honestly speaking, HP and Disney's painstaking attention to detail felt like an elixir of sorts to an ardent devotee's soul. I'm sold on the distressed texture on the lid, the touted 'battle-worn' look of the X-Wing Star Fighter Guidance system. And there is that eerie red keyboard back-lighting. The whole package is smart and aesthetic. And sinister.

I know I sound like a fawning dork. But my geek-bone can't help getting tickled. There is this steady stream of cute little innovation-candies which this laptop keeps dropping on my senses. When the laptop boots up, you'll see that they even made the Recycle Bin look like the Death Star. When you empty it, the icon shifts to a half-finished Death Star 2. Neat. Not to forget, you can replace all the system sounds with Star Wars sounds- the zing of a light saber, the binary music of R2-D2's voice, Darth Vader's labored breathing and a plethora of other tunes and tones.

Don't leave your seats just yet. It's Christmas and Santa has more goodies in store! This Windows 10, 6th Gen Core i5 beauty packs a ton of Star Wars screen-savers, wallpapers and concept art. Then there is the first Marvel Star Wars comic book - a neighbors' envy, collector's pride kind of thing. Belonged to the 70's. And to provide the icing on the cake, there are behind-the-scene photos, storyboards and book excerpts. The whole constellation of digital memorabilia which this 15.6 inch screen laptop packs is enough to give me a nerd boner. Nirvana for Star Wars junkies.

Plus, most importantly, this laptop is a gaming rig. It comes packed with a decent amount of RAM and a NVIDIA GeForce 940M GPU. It's going to be a blast playing Star Wars Battlefront, Just Cause and Call of Duty: Black Ops.

I'm sounding as if a Scooby snack has just been offered to Scooby-doo, ain't I? When I set my eyes on that beauty of a lappie for the first time, the Scooby-Doo in me had his eyebrows hitting the roof and eyes dancing with anticipation! Add to that his pink tongue, moving up down in see-saw fashion and spreading raindrops of drool all around, and voila!

Geek-gasm achieved.

#AwakenYourForce. 

There are a couple strands more of sentiment tethering me to this Star Wars laptop. I have a nice and comfortable history with HP. The laptop on which I'm blogging right now belongs to HP. My first netbook was from the HP stables too. Good times and fond memories, both of them. I had purchased HP stereo headsets to go with the laptop. Music, movies, chatting: the headset-lappie combo kept me company through both fun times and lonely hours.

Thinking of fun times, I have a dream, you know. To have a Star Wars themed bedroom. The wall behind my bed would be completely covered with a Star Wars wallpaper. Just on the opposite wall, there would be three light sabers hanging, of different colors. I might start with red, blue and green. I will change the color combination every month. Underneath them would be my study-table. I would be going for one with a futuristic look. There would be a life-size Darth Vader model in one corner of the room and a Storm Trooper model in the opposite corner. The pillow cases would have Star Wars quotes on them. The bed sheets would be space-blue colored. And a X-Wing Star Fighter model hanging over the bed. Nerd heaven accomplished. To quote Howard from The Big Bang Theory, I'll have achieved 'Nerdvana'. A big part of my childhood, with me, in my room, in exactly the way I want it. But it looks like a distant dream sitting here in India. Star Wars stuff are not that easily available down here.

Maybe, one day. Sigh. A man can only dream.

As of now, all I can do to give myself a fix is book a couple of tickets for The Force Awakens. So, hasta la vista, friends and bloggers. Do leave a comment if you need a review delivered to your inbox. And in keeping with the theme of the contest, I gave my blog a Star Wars twist. I had been wanting to redesign my blog since ages, but the Force wasn't with me. To put it simply, I was feeling too lazy. I am very thankful to HP and Indiblogger. They gave a lazy-bone like me something priceless. Motivation. It took me around two days of continuous tinkering with HTML, CSS, Javascript and jQuery to bring the blog to its present shape. Do tell me what you think about it, okay? Do check out the Star Wars Social Icons cluster. And do definitely check out the Recent Posts section. There is some animation stuff out there which you might find interesting! Good day to you! Peace out!

                      May the force be with you.

Image is under Creative Commons license. Original pic and usage terms can be found here.

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Coupling

There is a schoolmate of mine, settled in US, who once told me ,"Choice is the root of all evil". It was kinda an odd-ball discussion to be having on a FB chat, but then again weirder stuff has happened with me on social forums. (Don't ask!!) He was actually trying to impress on me the viability of an arranged marriage over a romantic one. Apparently, his mom had got hold of a foreigner (who according to my friend was pretty hot) for him to tie the knot with. The point he was trying to sell me was- the girl really did not have much choice in the marriage. She couldn't really say NO (yup, don't ask M.E. where she hails from!! If the initials make some sense, you are clever). And mind you, this is not even taking place in India, but on foreign shores. Since she had been bred not to assert her independent choices, my friend opined that it would lead to a complication-free marriage life. He was confident of his innate goodness (bless his soul!) and his capability to treat her well. Since, in his own words, he was "a good guy"!

It's an interesting concept. Earlier marriages (those of our folks and grand-folks) seemed to work because people really did not have the choice to opt out. Women were not self-dependent, divorce was a taboo, a woman staying away from her in-laws' home for long periods was frowned upon, men did not have women working in their offices, so extra-marital affairs had a relatively low incidence, husbands and wives have pre-defined roles handed down to them, and there was not much they could do to change it. Society was a lot more stereotypical those days. People had a pre-specified template to fit into. Individuality really didn't count much back in that era. I know, I kinda make 'that era' sound like something out of our history books, but seriously...Comparing ol' times with ours is like placing your old time local grocery store by the side of a modern supermarket. The friendly neighbourhood grocery-man offers less choices, hence less confusion. The Dr Octopus of the super-markets grapples you with its tentacles of options and causes your head to spin. And in the matrimony supermarket, choices of husbands, choices of wives, choices of lovers- things don't really stay that simple.

Since the last few weeks, I have read up a lot on what people have to say about arranged or love marriages. Mostly the same stuff, written in various flavors. Don't get me wrong, folks! This topic hits a dead-end at one point. We all know the foregone conclusion- marriage is about the willingness to adjust and compromise. Love or arranged- it basically counts for nothing. There is a risk involved in everything.

The sad truth about today’s marriages is that many of them fail. I don't mean, just ending up in divorce. But failing to provide meaning and fulfillment in the lives of the couple. Most marriages start out great but the stress and difficulties of everyday life often take their toll. Love and adjustment really have their hands full. They have to contend with money, careers, family demands, a lack of communication, jealousy, family interference, parenting and (Oh boy!) boredom. Marriage is not easy, folks. Far from it. #true story#

I guess, after a point of time, a couple eventually runs out of stimulating topics to talk about. Yeah, arguing over who is going to the sabzi market to haggle for the best prices isn't exactly romantic. Once wed, between fatigue, stress and the constant demands of everyday living, communication begins to break down. Then, one day they find they don’t talk as much as they used to or the conversations they are having lack substance and meaning. And then add to it, the resentment and grudge building up, all the blame over unmet expectations, a lack of honesty , the peeling away of mutual respect, and the next thing you know, you are looking around for a good divorce lawyer. The solution to all this? Open and honest communication to be made a constant priority in marriage. Sounds easy? I'm sure it is not. You've to slog all day in office and you can't be yourself at home. No rest. No respite.

I've always found male-female friendships a confusing area. I mean just how much of intimacy between people of opposite genders can be tolerated before a husband or a wife earns the right to start smelling something fishy? Jealousy is another common reason that many marriages break up. Once married, many people expect their spouse to give up friendships with members of the opposite sex. Innocent interactions among friends are sometimes misconstrued and, if not handled properly with honesty and openness, jealousy and mistrust grow. Lots of gray areas in this one. When you love someone deeply, insecurity is bound to creep in. You start caring about that person and just can't remain aloof anymore.

I remember a line from the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends' Past" which went like this- "Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right. But power isn't happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less... "

Problem is- jealousy inevitably rears its ugly green-eyes head when you start genuinely caring for somebody. If a couple lets things go out of hand, a lack of trust and openness mixed with bitterness will break down the marriage. Let's face the truth-marriage will inevitably change previously established friendships, especially with members of the opposite sex. Ideally, neither spouse should have to give up those well-established friendships to suit a mate. In an ideal world, one has to include one's spouse in one's friendships and work to foster trust among one's friends and the spouse, but that's too much of work, right? I mean, what are the odds your spouse will actually like the people you do? Or your friends will like your spouse for that matter?

Seen "Meet the Parents" ? Robert Di Niro gives Ben Stiller, his prospective son-in-law, a hell of a time when he visits them over the weekend. While the movie provided great laughs and a hilarious take on the subject of in-laws' disapproval, truth is- if you don’t like yours, that dislike often causes trouble for years. Family often causes a great deal of stress in a marriage (do I have someone nodding his head sadly among the readers there?); familial conflicts also frequently lead to the demise of the marriage.  Interfering in-laws often put stress on marriages by trying to force a spouse to choose between their marriage and their family. The recently married girl in my project team has to flee the office before 6 pm everyday because of her hubby dearest's insistence. And did I mention, her family had to cough up 9 lacs in dowry too? Ok, maybe I am diverting from the topic here. Bottom-line is, the scene looks bleak. Parents aren't always the heaven's gift to children which we imagine them to be.

With divorces on the rise, so are re-marriages. So what does a bloke or a gal do with the step-children and ex-spouses that come with second marriages add stress to the new family dynamic?  Everyone has to be added carefully into the blended family mix. And everyone seems to have an idea about how to raise children, leading to more friction, often resulting in the inability of the new family to mesh correctly. So when you marry, you think you are bringing in bliss to your home? I guess we need to think again.

I recently watched "American Reunion", the latest installment in the American Pie series. (Yeah, those are the kind of movies I watch. Sorry, guilty as charged!) In that movie, there is a moment when the character Jim confesses sadly to his dad that his marital life hasn't been as much fun since he and his wife had a kid. And it is here that Jim's dad drops in a pearl of profound wisdom. You cannot let parenthood make you forget that you are also husband and wife.While a child comes as a blessing, parenting can also be overwhelming for any couple.  The introduction of a child into the marriage shakes up things, dramatically in some cases, as each spouse must now also take on the role of parent. Couples often become so caught up caring for their new baby that they forget to make time to focus on each other. In addition, spouses might feel left out of the new relationship. If you take my two cents worth of advice, I guess couples should enlist the help of babysitters and grandparents so that they might make time to focus their energy and time on their relationship.

Marital boredom!!! You know the way things are going, I won't be surprised if one day boredom becomes a factor in the dissolution of many marriages. It isn't really difficult for couples to simply grow bored and grow apart from one another over time. They see the marriage become stagnant and, rather than working to resolve the problems in the marriage or add new life to the relationship, desire to move on. Of course, truth be told, when they find someone else to settle with, they discover they have just traded one set of problems for another. But I guess, boredom is perhaps the easiest fight to avoid. Make a commitment, as a couple, to spend time doing things together, travel or surprise each other. Focus on adding new energy to your relationship to keep it fresh and strong.

All the merry scenarios I described above are equally applicable to love as well as arranged marriages. Maybe, just maybe, arranged marriages are a little bit more secure in some ways. Less expectations, less disappointments. You know, there is an escapism involved in opting for arranged weddings. People don't want to take charge of their own lives. They want to thrust the responsibility of choosing a suitable life-partner on someone else's shoulders. I guess when people do that, they automatically turn down the regulator dial of their hopes as well. Maybe that's one way of saving a marriage. Temper your anticipations. But then again, settling down with a complete stranger is a much worse proposition than buying a pair of jeans you have never put on in a trial room. At least, the so called love marriages can mentally prepare you somewhat for what's headed your way.

Which brings me to an interesting thing. Neuroscientists claim love isn’t an emotion; it is activation of the reward center in our fore-brains (I know I sound geeky with all that fat glasses look and all). And new love (the first 7 months to be precise) produces a chemical response similar to narcotics. I guess it isn't so hard to make relationship mistakes when you know you are on drugs. Red roses bloom in your heart, your reddened derriere throbs from the puncture Cupid's arrows made in it.It’s easy to do something that seems like a good idea, say move in or start to make long term plans, when life seems so grand. Shit, everything seems so great, you think you can spend the rest of your natural or supernatural existence with that person.The point is, if the bloom comes off the rose and you've made commitments, you could easily end up waking up next to someone after 5 years and wonder, ‘What the fuck have I done?”

Unfortunately, once you settle the interior decor of your new house and your dopamine runs out (i.e. roses ain't so rosy anymore), you generally assume the relationship can be fixed because it had been “so good". But then again, life can be quite a prick sometimes and you start pricking your fingers on the now glaringly apparent thorns.

So,all in all, if you are already married, best of luck. If you are planning to get married, best of luck then too. If you are not planning to get married, God bless you, for sure as hell, your parents and married friends will force you to. Just keep your expectations in check, will you? Hope for the best and expect the worst, as they always say. So that when life usually hands you something mid-way, you don't get showered in the piss from the busted balloon of deluded dreams and fantasies you built up.

P.S. I wrote this Piece of Shit (P.S.) for a contest.Do have a look here-www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange

If you want, you can vote for me here.

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Beach Lame-o-nade II

The following is an entry for The Lakme Diva Blogger Contest.Look,I know I ain't gonna win it,okay?:-D But anyway,I thought I owed it to myself to at least complete the story from where I left off last week.Please do visit their FB page here.:-)Just for a heads-up,Kyra is Lakme's Sunshine girl!And in case you haven't read Part I,you can go here.

Okay.That's it from my side.Peace out.

Kyra: Ok. So how exactly can a jerk of a guy convince a girl that he is the nice, sensitive kind?

Me: It’s simpler than you think.

Kyra: Oh really?

Me: Totally. Your friend Anjee, who fell for that ass Suyash, was totally duped by that guy. He didn’t suddenly change or anything. He was what he was all along. He just managed to sucker you people well enough.

Kyra (vexed): Sucker us? And you think that’s so easy?

Me (nonchalantly): Why not? I mean, to appear warm, caring, sensitive and all that, all that a guy has to say is things like........“I LOVE children. I adore them. And the amazing thing is, there is SOOO much you can learn from them.”............ Or “I really don’t care what a woman looks like, as long as her inner beauty shines through.”(Kyra looks at me with a bemused expression)............ Or even “I spent a year working with retarded people. It really helped me grow.” You just have to have her fooled.

Kyra (smiling): Ok hotshot! So what if she wants her man macho?

Me (corners of my mouth turning up into a crooked smile): Simple. Just reverse the earlier statements. Like “They oughta just takeall the retards out and shoot them.”

Kyra breaks out into a laugh.

Me (smirking): Pretty elementary stuff.

Kyra dips her hands into the lake water and splashes some at me. Naughtily pouting all the time. My hands are pulling and heaving the oars of the row boat. So that rules out returning the favour.

Kyra (sighing satisfactorily, soaking in the cheerful sun’s rays): A sexy breeze and lazy fun. A relaxing boat ride in the sun.

Me: Congratulations. You made that rhyme.

Kyra (her naughty smile sitting pretty on her lips again): Why thank you. You know sometimes you have me fooled that you might actually be a nice guy. Say...by the way...is there any more faux-sensitive pick-up lines I should be careful about?

Me: Do I get to go on a dinner date with you if I tell you?

Kyra: Haww! You slimy slick bastard!! I already consented to this boat ride with you, didn’t I?

Me (rolling eyes):  Oh boy! I open up the Pandora’s Box of pick-up lines for her and what do I get? A cold heartless insult. Inner beauty. So frighteningly rare these days.

Kyra (with arms crossed over her chest):  You can totally get on a girl’s nerves, do you know that? Like last week, you annoyed the hell out of me in front of that gal Shruti. And now.....

Me: Last week I finished it off with a delightful margarita and a befitting compliment. That should have totally wiped my Karmic slate clean.

Kyra (overtly sarcastic): Right! Like that margarita washing down my throat was totally washing your conscience clean too.

Me: We are arguing like a geriatric married couple.

Kyra: Hmmphhh! A loyal hubby would bring some flowers to his wife to apologize.

Me: And a good wife would make some nice cool sherbet for her over-strained hubby in this summer. (I point to the oars in my hand)

Kyra: I would rather file for a divorce.

Me: Good. On the way to the lawyer, pick up some iced tea and triple-scoop sundae for me.

Kyra bursts out laughing again. I can’t resist joining in.

Kyra (leaning towards me, her face inches away from mine, a playful sparkle in her eye): Ok, hotshot. Say if I do agree to go on another date with you. Totally hypothetically. What would we do? Another boat-ride? ‘Coz you gotta bring something better than that.

Me:  Hmm. Spend a lazy day lounging on the beaches. Have a wonderful moonlit picnic in the night. Just think, the waves crashing in your ear, stars in your eyes, warm sand on your skin. And we will top that with some great food!

Kyra (her eyes squinting wickedly): Hmm. Sounds sexy. But I got higher standards.

Me:How about sitting in the park under a shady tree with us reading poetry to each other?

Kyra(sneering): Lame!Poetry and me? That would be a disaster.

You are poetry in motion, I think.How could that possibly be a disaster?

Me: Say..random question. If 'like' is the opposite of 'dislike',is 'aster' the opposite of 'disaster'? Aster.Like total bliss.Like you go to a place where you could see the city lights.While playing soft instrumental music.Then having her very close in your arms.Just hug and nibble on her earlobe and whisper to her that she really means a lot to you.And that it wouldn't be heaven on earth without her.Totally ‘aster’.

Kyra just smiles a sphynx-like smile and looks away.

Me(muttering under my breath): Guess she definitely ain't feeling the 'aster'.

Kyra (suddenly turning towards me):Ok.Nine o clock.Tonight.But where would we go?(She cocks her head to one side,challenging me) I like surprises.

Me(corners of my lips twisting up into a smile again): Leave that to me.

Kyra: Ok.So tell me.

Me: What?

Kyra: The other pick-up line to watch out for. You said you would tell me if I agree on the date,remember?

Me: Oh dear! You make me sound like a walking encyclopaedia of pick-up routines.

Kyra: You can't back out now,hotshot!

Me: Ok.This technique is most effective when demonstrated first-hand.When a guy and his date walks by a beggar,the guy hands him a hundred rupee note.Believe me,losing the hundred is totally worth it.And the guy tells to the poor man,sounding as concerned as he can,"Don't spend it on booze.Buy yourself a good meal or something.Ok?" And the guy tries not to look too pleased with himself.That would be like..(and I can't help smirking here).. the kiss-of-death for any would-be saint.The girl might be touched enough by his generosity and kindness to let him touch her later on.

Kyra (her eyes glistening with mischievous delight): Wicked! You are so goddamn wicked!!

Me: I am just glad you are not blaming my entire gender by calling it wicked.

Kyra (her sphynx-like smile back on her lips): Let's see what nine o' clock brings tonight,shall we?

Nine-fifteen in the night....

Kyra (a little miffed): Please tell me what exactly are we doing in the elevator of a thirty-storey building?

Me: This is the tallest building I could make arrangements for.

Kyra: Arrangements for what?

Me (winking at her): I thought you liked surprises.

Kyra (her arms crossing over her chest again): This better be good,Rahul! I don't like disappointments.

Me: And I don't make a living out of disappointing women who ooze confidence,sensuality and good breeding.So don't sweat it.

Kyra (shaking her head resignedly): Words.Words.Words.Are you related to Wordsworth in any way?
Me: I told you words and I share a connection.
Kyra: Whatever you say,Wordsworth.By the way,that's a pretty big bag you are carrying there.What's in there?

Me(smiling): A bag full of suprises.

We reach the roof. The place had an elevated sightseeing platform technically called an observation deck. As Kara looks at me curiously,I unpack my bag.I bring out a red tablecloth, two red candles and candlesticks, and a bottle of champagne. I finally bring out my Ipod and speakers. Kyra's eyes grow wide while she looks at the city and the stars from so high above. I set up the tablecloth and everything and start some soft music.

Me: Enjoying the starry skies?

Kyra (looking stunned and awed): This is just so...

Me (smiling teasingly): Surprising?

Kyra's cheeks turn crimson. She lowers her eyes for a moment.

Kyra (her voice considerably softer now): You know,Rahul. When I was this little kid running around in puppy dog braids,I always used to picture this.This....laying on the rooftop at night.Finding the stars and constellations together.While I and that someone are...(she lowers her eyes again).. cuddling in each other's arms.

Me (pulling her face up softly and looking deep into her eyes): A mid-summer night's dream,huh?And what if that someone had something to say about all this?

Kyra: What?

Me:Ohh,you know,the usual corny stuff.Like when he is with you he feels like he is on top of the world.And this..thirty storeys up.. is the closest he could get.

Kyra: Don't you ever get tired of your sarcasm,Mr.Manners?

Me:Care to dance?

As we dance and hold each other,Kyra suddenly starts laughing.I pull away surprised.

Me (puzzled): What?

Kyra (still fighting to control her laughter): Ok.How many gals did you run this routine on?

Me (pretending to think): Umm...I dunno..I lost count after six hundred and thirty nine.

Kyra (grinning): That's not very flattering for a woman to hear.

Me: I thought gals preferred honesty.

Kyra (putting her arms around my neck):Hmmm.You aren't so bad.I have seen better,but you aren't so bad. Plus,I am feeling it.

Me: Feeling what?

Kyra (biting her lower lip as she smilingly looks at my eyes):The 'aster'.Definitely feeling the 'aster.'

~The End~

P.S. I just realized one week back that I haven't written a rom-com in a very very long time. My next story will probably be a gory,violent one. So before that, I thought of dabbling with my favorite genre a bit.I hope you had fun reading this.Special thanks to Lakme for gifting me a super-feisty gorgeous girl to have as a heroine for my lame story.Anyways...adios!!!!!:-)

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Beach Lame-o-nade

The following is an entry for The Lakme Diva Blogger Contest.I know,a guy writing for a Lakme contest?Totally lame,right?Well,once you are fed up of the dose of lameness I am going to brutally dish out on you folks ,please do visit their FB page here.:-)Just for a heads-up,Kyra is Lakme's Sunshine girl!

Okay.That's it from my side.Peace out.Lame in.Oops..I meant Lakme in...;-) My bad!!

Me: I wonder why they don't give away hunks and hotties as prizes for winning the beach ball contests.

Kyra throws at me a curious glance.

Me:I mean,think about it.You get to hang out with a guy with visible abs and baseball-shaped biceps.And I get a gal with the perfect curves,a slim figure and a nice tan for guys to ogle over.What's wrong with this picture?

Kyra(laughing):Right!And what's wrong with just building castles in the air??!

Me(winking):You mean sandcastles in the sand,right?We're at the beach, remember?

Kyra:You like playing with words,huh?

Me:Words love to play with me.

Kyra:Oh really?

Me:Words love me.Adore me.It's like when I arrive..they're all over themselves..out there screaming my name.Near hysteria....intense fan frenzy..Some even pass out.

Kyra(with a tight-lipped smile):Modesty definitely ain't one of your prized possessions.

Me:Offence taken!Did you for once see me yell,whelp or do a victory dance after we won the beach ball contest today?I was humility personified.

Kyra:Well helloo!!Who scored the winning shot?!!(she points the index fingers of both her hands at herself)Who caught the ball after your butter fingers dropped it?(she points again)That drop could've cost us the whole match!Face it.If it weren't for me...

Me(interrupting, with an amused smile sitting on my lips):And 'you' will give me modesty lessons?I am not sure you are qualified.

(Kyra opens her mouth to speak,but I continue,ignoring her) Granted having beach classes on modesty might be fun.Especially when I have a cute instructor(I pause and look approvingly at Kyra)..in an electric blue swimsuit..nice highlights in her hair and a light tan.But still.I think I'll pass.

K(shaking her head,with a resigned smile):Ever considered using your "talents"(she puts her fingers up in a quoting gesture) for things other than hitting on me?

Me:It's a better alternative to hitting a beach ball.

Kyra:You are incorrigible.

Me:I find being incorrigible highly encourageable.

Kyra(laughing):Ok,word player!In order to save both our time,let me outline in brief what's going to happen here in a few minutes time.

Me:All ears.

Kyra:You're gonna keep on hitting on me and I'm gonna keep on rebuffing you.Until one of us gets tired of the whole thing and calls it quits.You sure you are up for all that?

Me:Or..we can dig our spoons into some prawn masala and fried rice.With maybe some chilli fry to go with it.We will finish that off with some caramel pudding and blueberry cheese cake.How does that sound?

Kyra:You make it sound tempting.

My face starts to light up.

Kyra(with a wicked relish):But still.I think I will pass.

Just then a petite girl in her early twenties walks over to where we are sipping on ice tea.

The gal:My gawd!!Kyra!!Is that really you??

Kyra(with her sunshine smile):Why,yes?What are you called,sugar??!!

The gal:Shruti!!I am a total fan of yours,Kyra!Me and my buddies -we dreamily stare when you just seem to naturally glow with your gorgeous summer tan!!

Kyra:Ohh!!That's so kind of you,Shruti!!(she then looking appreciately at Shruti)You don't look so bad yourself,sugar!!

Shruti starts giggling like a teenager who has received her very first compliment in her life.Guess appreciations from celebrities do that to you.

Shruti(after regaining her composure):Is it ok if I ask you how you work that magic with your skin?Me and my friends would totally love to know.

Me:Whatever happened to being confident and happy in your own skin?

Shruti looks at me puzzled.Kyra throws me a glare.

Kyra:Ohh,ignore him,Shruti!By the way,Mr.Manners here is called Rahul.

Shruti:Umm..hi..Rahul.

Me:Hi,Shruti!Now,if you will excuse me, I am just gonna sit back...and watch Ms.Baywatch here give tanning tips.

Kyra(irritated):Excuse me,but do you have any idea what we're talking about?

Me:What?It can't be any rocket science,right?

Shruti(giggling):Oh,Rahul!!Believe me.For me and my friends,it is.

Kyra:Shruti,there are self-bronzers and natural-looking spray tans available.Lakme has a cool collection.You can check them out!

Me:And that is supposed to give Shruti that beautiful golden brown beach babe look of yours?

Kyra glares at me again.

Me:Lakme self-bronzers.Totally saves the day for the less pigmentally gifted.

Kyra:Ignore his sarcasm,Shruti.He is a nasty little thing.

Shruti giggles again.She is slim, with smooth, gentle curves,a baby blue swimsuit that hugs her body at just the right spots, and a beautiful complexion, like a dreamy creamy mango dessert. What on earth does she need a tan for?

Shruti:By the way,I was dying to tell you this Kyra.I think you are the perfect BA for Lakme.

Me:BA?Bachelorette of Awesomeness?!!

Kyra(laughing):Brand Ambassador,doofus!

Shruti(smiling):Bachelorette of Awesomeness doesn't sound so bad!!Totally suits you Kyra.

Me:Yeah.But I guess Kyra's SPF 15 sunlotion blocks all my honest compliments.Just like the sunrays.

Kyra(raising her eyebrows mockingly):Honest compliments?And you?

Me:Yep.Totally me.And by the way,Shruti,I think you will totally look fab without much make-up.Slip on some flip flops, slide on some cool sunglasses and set the beach on fire!

Shruti(blushing):Umm...thanks!

I get up from my seat,offering it to Shruti.

Me:Ohh and by the way,Kyra..you totally need to change your SPF lip balm.

Kyra(frowning):Why?

I flash my mysterious smile and leave without answering.

Five minutes later,the waiter brought mint and pomegranate margaritas for the girls.

Kyra(surprised):We didn't order any of these.

The waiter:Ohh.The gentleman who was with you ordered these.And don't worry about the bill.He took care of it.Oh..and(he takes out a neatly folded paper napkin from his shirt pocket)..he asked me to give you this.

Kyra unfolds the paper.It read,"Glossy lip balms are painfully inadequate to protect those lips from that scorching bright smile of yours.Nothing below SPF 25 will do."

Kyra purses her lips and smiles.

Shruti:What does it say?

Kyra(still smiling):Guess Mr.Manners isn't so bad with the compliments after all.

To be continued..(you really want this lameness to be continued?:-P)

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