What do you do when you fight with your Mum? Auction off her Naked Photos Online la!

No, I m not making this up!

This super freaking sick shit happened in New Zealand (the place where sheep is a man best's "frend" LOL!) thereis this 18 yrs old boy/kid, Micheal put his 44 years old mother (Jennifer) naked photos online for auction at trademe.com.nz under the title "Five naked photos of my mum"after an arguement with his mother.

Then of coz the auction were later remove by the site admin ... The moral of the story here is ... if you got naked pics of yourself ... dont piss off your kids! LOL!

The story actually do not ends here ok? A second auction were put up by Micheal after the 1st one was removed! This time with her 44 yrs old mother approval!!! WTF!!!?? When contacted by the media Micheal komen was "We're not rich or anything" LOL!

His mum response was "There's nothing dodgy about them. They were taken by a family friend about eight years ago" and "I wanted 50 per cent of the sale but more than that, I miss the nice comments."

The second auction were viewed 11,000 times before the admin of the website taken them down, when contacted they told the media "We don't really want to be the place where people list photos of their mums in their underwear".

Here is 1 of the 44 yrs old Jennifer's photo for your viewing pleasure!



If you wanna see more of the pics Micheal put up for auction ... Click HERE

Moral of the entire story? DONT GO NEW ZEALAND!!!! LOL! or if you are a MILF ... then you prolly should book a tix there ASAP!!!

Photo & Story source

Bird Nest for Mader Day Plesen?

Mader day is nearby oni and needless to say lotsa peeple will think of what plesen they should buy for their mader. (seriously ... why oni be good to own mader only one day in a year? got serious blen damage ka?)

Of coz since most mader is alredi seasoned .... most of the chewren will prefer to buy something thats good for their health wan. Ginseng, Yomeishu and bird nest is among the popular health related producks during this mader day celebration. I dunno much about Ginseng and other health related ploducks but I got this email from Uncle Cocka about Bird nest and how its being processed that might makes you think twice about purchasing/consuming Bird's saliva (nest)

You all might think all bird nests looks like the one this bird nest harvester is holding on his hands

but think again ... out in the open ... your spit will be sticky and start attracting dust and insects and who know what kinda other creature that might get attracted by spits?





Or it will end up looking like this! A mouldy, fungus infected black bird nest! But of coz .. if they put this piece of "charcoal" on the shelves ... no one will buy it! So ....





Someone gotta clean it! seperating the bird nest from feathers, dirt and god knows what else is onnit.


Seperate ledi then cut into small small pieces ...



Then put those small small pieces into a pail and soak with water. This is where other lighter debris will float to the top and removed. but still the color is not as nice as those bird nest we buy in the shop rite? Wait la! got more process wan la!



Then soak into bleach! (Bleach is clorox or hydrogen peroxide la!)



Bleach them kaw kaw till they turn white color!


Then pour in hot water to get rid of the bleach smell



Still there will be those dirty/colored one ....


Then you hafta dig out the dirty one manually seperating them from the good one.





There! its done! Now to the next step!



Shape them up! I always wonder why those bird nest all uniform shape wan? I thot they got some kinda skool to teach those swallow how to make the same shape of nest wan ... mana tau its human who made the shape!



Nah! see nice anot? Like kueh shape lidat!



Then they kasi arrange neat neat on dryer


Then they kasi arrange neat neat on the "homemade" dryer


Before the drying process


Domestic fan being used and the heat from the bulb helps with the drying process.



Drying process might takes as long as 24 hours.



Fully dried manually shaped bird nest ready to be sell.


The Bird nest that are available at the chainis medicine shop ....

This is part of the excerpt taken from the email :

"Malaysia and Indonesia produce at least 800-2000kg of Cao Yan and Mao Yan.

In these birds' nests, only a small amount is edible (the saliva of the bird), but they are very dirty and almost black in colour. No one would want to consume it.

So should we just waste it like that? No, there is of course a way of turning them into attractive products, which is bleaching. Some suppliers use H2O2 to get rid of the smell of second class birds nest. H2O2 is a rather poisonous chemical, and it might cause cancer.

Only some food contain small amount of SO2 and SO3 (not more than 0.00000002%) In Japan the amount of SO2 and SO3 in all sorts of food must not exceed 0.00000001 after bleaching.

Before this, the nutritional value in Cao Yan and Mao Yan is already very low. After processing using chemicals, the nutrient in the birds' nests is totally destroyed. Therefore, the nutritional value can be said to be lower than Pek Bok Nee... have you eaten before?

The birds' nests which are bleached have lost its original shape. So, businessmen turn these birds' nests into different kinds of shape. The most common shapes are leaf-shaped, strips and round shape. There are also those who dye the birds nest into yellow/ red colour, and cheat the unknown consumers by selling these birds' nests to them as Xue Yan/Jin Si Yan.

The nutritional value of these birds' nest is gone and totally worthless after processing them with lots of chemicals.

Do you think that people will still be selling them ?"

Gonna be buying Bird nest for your lovely mum this lambing mader's day anyone? Cocka said eat his saliva is better la!

Note : To trust or not to trust? You be the judge ok? It might just be anoder hoax or .... it might not ....

Fat is Ugly, Thin is Pretty?

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WARNING :
18SX - Small bois n girls ... go do your homework! Dun read! go play PS2 or PS3 or Wii or PSP or hello kitty or hello puppy or anything as long as u dont read this post can edi! If you die die also wanna read ... then call your mum/dad at work and ask for permission 1st ok?
Oh! and its NSFW too! Its not for the Faint hearted neither! Pls do not proceed if you have a weak heart ok?

Note : NSFW means Not Safe From Work .... so, if u kena fire bcoz you read my blog at work ... u dun kam find me ok?

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General perceptions is always against fat peeple like us ... buden if fat ppl is fugly then what about these thin peeple?

Now suddenly u feel that fat peeple isnt so fugly after all rite anot?

Asshair

Do you know what is Asshair?

Do you even know of their existance?

Have you ever care for them?

Do you know that asshair is very useful? they provides :

1. Insulation, so that your buttcheeks dont gets to stick together when you sweat
2. When you buttcheek sick together long long, they will create this vacumm space in between you crack ... and if you try to fart at this point .... the fart will be trapped between your crack.
3. Ventilation, they help your buttcheeks to stay apart thus providing ventilation for evaporation to works to dry you buttcrack.

Add yet noone ever gives a damn about them? Well ... not anymore!!!

Not till this morning .... what if i telling you that from now on your asshair will be taken care of by spesel kinda hair saloon?

I no bruff you wan geh! I discovered this new kinda saloon that will take care of your asshair so you dont have to worry about them anymore! See for yourself!


See? What else do you want me to say? LOL! Next time anyone wanna name their business ... better ask for opinion first ler!

Halloween Baby

That baby face is so .... scary!!! I wonders if the custome were made by his/her mum because that "thing" that stick out of his/her sweater looks like a bloody kukuciao/penis!

Its not a good when you trying to scare those pretty/sexy aunties with a bloody kukuciao you know? What if next time they got phobia towards kukuciao ledi???!!! LMAO!!

Ok la! cant deny that the baby is cute tho ... I would give him/her candy if he/she knocks on my door during halloween .... right after he/she go thru my fierce dog 1st that is ... lol!

I Lafu Fresh Sushi!!!

This post is dedicated to those whos a great fan of the Jabpenis national dish ... SUSHI!!!

Who dont lafu sushi? Most of Mareysia peeple lafu sushi rite? Everytime after i ate sushi i felt like i can speak nihonggo (jabpenis) lidat!!! Dats why lotsa peeple lafu sushi la!

Well ... I m not sure you still gonna lafu sushi as much as you do after watching this 2 videos i got ready speselly for you all sushi fansee.


Wow! You see that? That fish is screaming in pain while those jabpenis is enjoying it's flesh .... omg! You see how the fish is screaming out loud "HELP!!! HELP!!!" with its mouth wide open and yet they continue to feast on its flesh? This is what I call fresh sushi neh!!! Ichiban!!!


You see how that fish is waving "bye bye" to those jabpenis? I dont understand jabpenis but i think those girls were saying something like "oh look! that fish is so cute! its waving at us altho we are eating its flesh now! Kawaiii nehhh!!! *make peace sign and camwhore with the fish*

I wonder if we could do the same thing with our local ikan kembung or tilapia anot? its alot cheaper you know?

What happen when you stays with your ex?

Izzit me or the world changed?

If you divorced why the hell you still wanna stay together ar? If you still wanna stay together then why wanna divorce ar? MCH .... this is something i dont think i could ever understand and I heard stories from frends that they knew of such a couples in Malaysia too. You know anyone lidis anot?

Well this piece of news caught my attention I do i think its a 2-in-1 experience, its funny and at the same time its disturbing ... read on to know why

Woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis
(Reuters)

Moscow - A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said Wednesday.

Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was "difficult to predict."

The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation. The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat, something common in Russia where property costs are very high.

"It was monstrously painful," the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. "I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this

Learn from them, if you wanna stay with your ex wife, then dont sit naked on the sofa while watching tv, if you wanna sit naked on the sofa while watching tv then dont drink vodka! Vodka is very very the flamable wan! lol!

Ever asked yourself why women loves to attack guys mia kkc wan? they got spesel skool to teach them ways to torture a man's mia kkc one izzit?

Guys ... you all must jaga your brader properly!!! protek at all cost! lol

OMFGBBQ! HOMER SIMPSON KIDNAPPED!!!

If you been to cineleisure lately I m sure you will find this pic looks familiar .... yea they are there to promote the upkambing The Simpsons Movie.

But will you belif me if I tell you that Homer (the fler holding the remote control) are kidnapped? No bruff you wan!


They are fanatic fans of this animation series "The Simpsons" and since they are such a TV freak they should have known that there is such a thing call cctv rite? Not to mention ski mask and fake number plate. What a Sohai!

2 sohais + 1 homer = joke of the year

18 Jun - Early this morning, staff at a leading cineplex in the Klang Valley made a surprising discovery that Homer Simpson was no longer at his seat.

Positioned together with the rest of the Simpsons family on a display couch, as depicted in the popular TV Series, Homer had apparently made an exit during the night.

Simpsons on living room couch in Movie Carnival 2007, similar to the one where Homer went missing from.

According to security video records from a shopping mall CCTV located close to the cinema, the kidnappers first scouted the area just after 3 this morning. In less than 3 minutes, the 15-kg likeness of Homer Simpson was then caught on video exiting the cinema with the pair of ‘kidnappers'.

And thats not all you know!!! They notchet kena tangkap they goan surrender!!! KAKAKAKA!!!

"The case has been solved," Petaling Jaya Central police chief Mazlan Mansor was reported as saying about the theft that was first reported by Cinema Online last Monday (18 June 2007).

The two students, who were believed to be over-exuberant fans of The Simpsons, returned the fibre-glass figure to police today, ending a caper that might as well have been an episode of the popular TV series.

The 15-kg replica of Homer holding a candy box is part of a promotional display at a local cinema in 1 Utama for the upcoming movie, The Simpsons.

It is learnt that the entire kidnap was recorded on the shopping complex's CCTV.

The cameras also caught the car's registration number which led police to the culprits, said to be "passionate fans who want to own a piece of The Simpsons before the movie opens." Police have released the suspects, pending charges.

[Source]

Kids, dont do this at home ok? and belif me when i say "they are definitely not trained professionals" .. they are just 2 drunk sohais trying to be funny but chickened out when they sober up! KAKAKAKA!!!

Alcohol will make u stupider .... dun belif u ask those 2 sohais la!!!

Dutch TV Hoax Kidney Game Show

First we have game show then someone came out with this reality show and now the latest trend is Hoax show!

Come to think of it ... "Niahma!" would make a very good name for the next Hoax show in Malaysia ... imagine this ... by the end of the show after all the contestants kena tipu ledi the host walks up to them and say "Niahma! you all kena bruff ledi la!"

TV kidney competition was a hoax

Picture shows the three candidates in the Big Donor Show that aired on Friday, 01 June 2007, in Aalsmeer.The 'contestants' were all in genuine need of a kidney


A Dutch TV contest that purported to show a dying woman choose a patient to receive her kidneys was a hoax.

The "donor" in the show was in fact an actress - though the three people vying for an organ were real patients in need of a kidney transplant.

The three knew that The Big Donor Show, which aired on Friday, was not real. The producers say it was made to highlight the shortage of Dutch donors.

Before the hoax was revealed, the show had attracted widespread criticism.

"We are not giving away a kidney here, that is going too far even for us," presenter Patrick Lodiers said at the moment when the fake donor was apparently about to reveal her choice of patient.

[source]

Ok la .. at the end of the program they admit they bruff wan also ... but does this makes it ok to bruff just to create awareness?

If I bruff 9 all your money just to let you learnt that you should not trust peeple easily that will make it ok ar?

That I'll leave it to you all to decide la!

OMFG!!! Designer Vagina is the thing now!

I was really speechless when i read this in a news site this morning, so what else is new in this world huh?

Demand for "designer vagina" surgery rising

LONDON - Rising numbers of women are asking the National Health Service to provide cosmetic surgery on their genitals, doctors said on Friday.

Writing in the British Medical Journal, they said the number of "labial reductions" carried out in NHS hospitals had doubled to 800 a year over five years.


"More and more women are said to be troubled by the shape, size or proportions of their vulvas", wrote Lih Mei Liao and Sarah Creighton from London's UCL Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Institute for Women's Health.

Articles in women's magazines about "designer vaginas", the rising popularity of cosmetic surgery and Internet promotion by private health clinics were all fuelling demand.

The authors said women seeking surgery were being influenced by idealised images of genitalia shown in pornography and on private genitoplasty Web sites.

Liao said research was needed into whether surgery was bringing long-term benefits to patients, before the NHS started routinely offering the cosmetic procedure.

[source]

I always knew there is a price to be paid if you watched too much porn ... I guessed this it is then!

I wonders when they are gonna come out with a Designer Kukuciao for us men?

OMFG!!! Ribena What??

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Updates : It appears that GSK Malaysia has made an official statement : giving assurance that Ribena in Malaysia has sufficient Vitamin C - LINK

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Have you heard? Ribena does not have Vitamin C innit!! [source]

I practically grow up drinking ribena and so does my kid! So you can imagine how furious I m! I felt like a sucker now ok?

I mean all these years ... and its not cheap too ok?!!! niahma! If i knew i would have just bought cordial and prolly save lotsa money in the process.

Here are some of the related news :

Multinational drugs group GlaxoSmithKline was fined 217,000 New Zealand dollars (£79,500) for misleading advertising yesterday after students found its blackcurrant drink Ribena contained no detectable vitamin C, contradicting its claims that the prediluted children's drink, Ready to Drink Ribena, contained more of the vitamin than orange juice.

[source]

Another one reported :

The case followed tests on Ribena by Anna Devathasan and Jenny Suo, from Auckland, as part of a science project in 2004 when they were 14.

Their results came to the attention of the New Zealand Commerce Commission and forced the firm to admit that its cartoned, ready-to-drink Ribena had no detectable Vitamin C, despite claims that it had seven milligrams per 100 millilitres.

[source]

Anyway .... i think I will let the below pics tell u what i wanna say :

ARE

-ED

So .... you get the picture yet?


Updates : Apparently in the latest statement released by GSK Malaysia, assuring the level of Vitamin C in Ribena sold in Malaysia is sufficient. So looks like we are all not affected!!!

GSK MALAYSIA GIVES ASSURANCE ON VITAMIN C LEVELS IN RIBENA

GSK Malaysia has conducted thorough laboratory testing of Vitamin C levels in Ribena. This testing has confirmed that Ribena in Malaysia contain the stated levels of Vitamin C, as described on product labels. GSK would like to reassure its consumers in Malaysia that the issues discussed with the ACCC and NZCC only affects certain Ribena products in Australia and New Zealand.

Click Here to read the full statement

Erm .... ok i dont feel cheated after all ....

Fucking is not a bad word!

Its official! Fucking is no more to be associated with any vulgarity anymore!!! I kid you not!

Fucking is actually :

Fucking (IPA: /ˈfʊkɪŋ/ — it rhymes with the English word "cooking") is a small settlement (population c. 93), part of the municipality of Tarsdorf,^[2] in the Innviertel region of western Upper Austria, located at 48°04′02″N, 12°51′49″E, bordering Bavaria. ^[3] It is near the city of Salzburg, and also the town of "Tittmoning".

The village is known to have existed as “Fucking” since at least 1070 and is named after a man from the 6th century called Focko. “Ing” is an old Germanic suffix meaning “people”; thus Fucking, in this case, means “place of Focko’s people”.^[4]

[Source]

Fucking is the name of a small town in Germany!! Dont belif? Come come i show u more evidences :

Fucking Map!

This is a Fucking Road Sign!

Fucking's Residents is Fucking pissed with the tourist who keep stealing Their Fucking sign!!!

In case you cant read the print .... i typed it out for u, it says :

London (AFP) - British tourist have left the residents of one charming Austrian village effing and blinding by constant stealing the signs for their oddly named village.

While British visitors finding it hillarious, the residents of fucking are failing to see the funny side. Only one kinda criminal ever stalks the sleepy 32 village near Sizeburg oin the German border. Cheeky british tourist armed with a sense of humour and a screwdriver.

But the local authorities are hitting back and with the signs now set in concrete, police chief commander Schmidberger is on the lookout.

"We will not stand for the Fucking signs being removed!" the officer said. It may be very amusing for your British but Fucking is simply Fucking to us, What is this big Fucking joke? it is puerile.

Local toursit guide Andreas said it was only the british had a fixation with fucking. The Germans all want to see Mozart house in Salzburg he explained.

Every American only seems to care only about the sound of music , the occasional japanese wants to see Hitler's birthplace but for British its all about fucking.

Guest house manager Augustina describe the village's breathtaking lakes, forests and vistas yet still there is still this obsession with fucking she said.

Just this morning I had to tell an english lady who stopped by that there were no fucking postcards!

and heres a video of the place to prove it!



See see? fucking is not a bad word after all!!! Its a name of a small village la!! Dont fucking kiasu can?!!

Dont Eat Too Much Oranges this Chinese New Year

Question : Why dont eat too much mandarin orange?
Answer : You will turn Yellow Kaler!
Question : No shit?
Answer : NO SHIT!!! I m SERIOUS!!

Haha ok ok a bit over dramatic ledi but this is the truth ok?!



There is this boy in Chongqing, China whose skin color changed to yellowish after he whacked too much oranges ledi.

The boy ate two to three kilograms of oranges a day and he was later diagnosed with carotenemia by the local hospital.

According to the hospital, its not life threatening one, the color of the skin will turn back to normal once he stop consuming oranges.

Nah heres the news :

Boy turns yellow after oranges
(China Daily)

An 11-year-old boy turned a yellowish colour after eating too many oranges in Chongqing Municipality recently.

The boy's mother took him to several local hospitals, but none were able to get to the bottom of his change in skin colour.

He was later diagnosed with carotenemia when his mother divulged that he had eaten two to three kilograms of oranges every day last week.

The boy was told his skin colour should return to normal once he cut down his intake of oranges.

So .. you greedy baskets out there ... dont think ppl house got free orange you goan whack kaw kaw ok? But if your parents are Hokkien they would prolly let u sit on the Altar once u turned yellow ... ONG AH!!!! KAKAKAKA!!!!


KUNG HEI FATT CHOY!!!

China's Chinglish III

This is the 3rd installment of China's Chinglish, Click on the below links to goto Part i and Part ii :

China's Chinglish Part 1
China's Chinglish Part 2

BEIJING, Jan. 8 -- Many foreigners complain that they are often puzzled and even startled by the menu when they dine in Chinese restaurants, saying the awful translations of the names of the dishes often give them no small culture shock.

"Lu Da Gong" (a Beijing-style dessert), is translated into "rolling donkey" on the menu of some restaurants.

The names of many Chinese dishes are translated literally into English, though these English words might not make any sense at all. For example, "Lu Da Gong" (a Beijing-style dessert), is translated into "rolling donkey," and "Ma Po Dou Fu" (one of the most famous Sichuan dishes) is translated into "beancurd made by a pockmarked woman."

"Ma Po Dou Fu" (one of the most famous Sichuan dishes) is translated into "beancurd made by a pockmarked woman" on the menu of some restaurants.

A young Australian said he was really startled by a "tiger dish" on the menu of a restaurant. Actually it is only a cold dish made of tomatoes, green peppers and onions, and of course has nothing to do with tigers at all. The Chinese name of the dish comes from its hot and spicy flavor.

The translation of "Tong Zi Ji" [Spring Chicken] (broiler) is perhaps the funniest of all, as it is translated into "chicken without sexual life" on the menu of some restaurants. "Why don't they just put 'virgin chicks' on the menu?" a customer joked.

The names of Chinese dishes are mostly imbued with some kind of artistic flavor, as they usually describe the appearance of the dishes. In the opinion of the Chinese, "Se" (good appearance) is even more important than "Xiang" (fragrance) and "Wei" (taste). No wonder the Chinese give such beautiful and rhythmic names to their dishes.

However, the names of Western-style dishes are usually simple descriptions of the material and the cooking methods of the dishes, like pot roast. Thus it is natural for Westerners to guess the materials and the cooking methods of the Chinese dishes through their names, which in many cases just do not work.

As a matter of fact, the Chinese restaurants in New York choose a more "practical"way of translation, by describing the dishes briefly in English. For example, "Yu Xiang Rou Si" is "shredded pork in garlic sauce," and "Gu Lao Rou" is "sweet and sour pork/chicken" on their menus.

Nevertheless, Zhou, a translator in Beijing, insists on translating the names of Chinese dishes word for word, in order to "keep their unique cultural and artistic flavor." "It's part of our culture, and perhaps a better part, thus we can't afford losing it via translating them into Western style," said Zhou.
[Source]

So, Now you know why we chinese have dishes that call "Buddha Jump The Wall" huh? What would they call "G Cheong Fun"? I think somehow it will turn out to be "Pig's intestines Noodle"?

Run Pigs, Run!

Another Pigs races hype in China to marks the beginning of the year of Golden Boar.



A group of piglets, dressed in numbered vests, compete in a running contest during an animal sports meet at a zoo in Jinan, east China's Shandong Province, February 6, 2007. The sports event was launched to bring happiness to the children during the Spring Festival, which falls on February 18 this year.





HAHA! I was imagining these were hot chicks in bikinis! LMAO!!! That would be hot right? I mean hot chicks in bikinis trying to outrun each others la! not the Pigs!

[Source]