To a Bear, Do We Taste Like Chicken?

A pop culture rant by Dean Swift

Bug-house crazy man gets eat up by a bear that he is “protecting.” Sounds like a movie to me. After watching the documentary Grizzly Man on the Discovery Channel last night, I thought to myself, “I don’t think I’ll write about this in my blog. It’s not new, and It’s probably been done to death (no pun intended).” But the more I think about it, the more this article begs to be written.

From what I’ve read about the Mr. Bear Snack, he craved attention and was even described by some as a “con artist.” Upon his arrival in California, he stopped using his given name of Timothy William Dexter, opting for the more flamboyant Timothy Winthorpe Treadwell. He claimed to be either an Australian or British orphan instead of a college dropout from a middle-class family on Long Island. People magazine in 1994 quoted him as claiming to be a native of Australia who moved to California as a teenager. Treadwell admittedly had substance abuse problems and brushed up against the wrong side of the law. His acting career was a failure and he was looking for a way to “re-define” his life. He found this “re-defining” through his encounters with wild bears. In this writer’s opinion, he merely re-cast himself in an un-scripted role with other actors (the bears) who could not verbalize their opinions and thereby could not “vote him off the island.” Actually I guess they could and did, by eating him during the 13th season. His desire to be famous was realized and he even got to hang out with celebrities. Because of his newfound celebrity, he was able to appear on TV shows that would have shunned him as a waiter/actor. He got to not only hang out with celebrities, but he got big checks from them too. Celebs like Leonardo DiCaprio, Pierce Brosnan, Rosie O’Donnell and Richard Towne gave him tens of thousands of dollars. He also got pseudo celebrity feedback from thousands of elementary school children when he was engaged by elementary schools as a speaker. Of course, this is a bit sad that someone would claim celebrity status from signing autographs at an elementary school. To those little minds, anyone is a celebrity if they just say they are. I can remember asking for the autograph of a local trumpet player when he came to visit my 4th grade music class. For all I knew, he was Herb Alpert or Arturo Sandoval. For Treadwell, the whole bear thing could have been a shortcut to fame without the need for agents, directors, writers producers or anyone else to filter his intentions. So in essence, he got what he wanted. But at what cost?

Treadwell was a self declared “gentle warrior” protecting the pears from poaching. He got his hands on the money to continue his self promotion through fundraisers and campaigns where he told the celebrities and other contributors he was certain the bears would be killed by poachers without his protection. In a piece of propaganda distributed by Treadwell’s organization Grizzly People, the bears of Alaska’s Katmai Coast are “attractive targets and without Treadwell's care would be easy to poach." But contrary to this statement, Alaskan wildlife expert Tom Smith (a biologist at the Alaska Science Center) says that sporadic poaching in the wildlife preserves isn’t much of a problem and doesn’t pose a credible threat to Alaska’s population of 35,000 brown bears. As a mater of fact, the bears aren’t listed as an endangered species in Alaska. Most of the bears killed by humans in the wildlife parks of Alaska are killed by park rangers and other officials for being too confrontational or familiar with humans. According to the park service, bears become this way when they overcome their natural fear of humans because of too much human contact. In other words, people feed or interact with the bears, therefore the bears look at people as not a threat or a source of food, therefore the bears seek out dangerous human contact and the rangers have to shoot them. So, by singing to bears, reading them stories, giving them names (like Squiggle, Czar, Buttercup and Mr. Chocolate) and “playing” with them, this self proclaimed bear “protector” could have easily been the reason for bears getting shot by rangers. The only thing this guy was a protector of was his own ego and desire for fame. Chuck Bartlebaugh, Missoula, Montana resident and director of the national safety campaign, Be Bear Aware, told the Anchorage, Alaska newspaper that he was deeply concerned about the example Treadwell was demonstrating: "We have a trail of dead people and dead bears because of this trend that says, 'Let's show it's not dangerous.’” Tim Smith agreed with the statement, saying "Bears are not people, or even remotely like people, bears are bears, and the sooner we treat them as bears instead of humans in a bear suit it will be less dangerous for both the bears and the people." On camera, Treadwell dismissed the dangerous nature of the bears with quips like “…they won’t eat me…they think I’m another bear… they know I’m their protector and they love me…” But off camera, he showed a different side. In the mid 90’s he was observed by a bear-viewing guide to be “quaking like a ball of nerves” when an old male bear who was courting a female lost his temper and stopped just short of pummeling Treadwell. Another time, when a bear was trashing his campsite, Treadwell made a panic stricken radio call to a local air service asking for an immediate fly-out from his bear/man love-in.

Regarding the whole getting eat up by a bear thing, that had to suck. According to people who have listened to the audio tape that captured the bear going through the man-buffet, the entire six minute sequence is filled with horrified shrieks, moans and squeals of agony from both Treadwell and his girlfriend Amie Huguenard. He didn’t die quickly or go into shock, he was awake and hating it while the bear munched away on its obviously yummy protector. Yep, in the annals of things that REALLY, REALLY suck, getting ate up by a bear has to be in the top forty. In the film, the brush pilot who flew out the remains commented that Treadwell “got what he deserved.” I don’t know if I agree with that. Certainly the guy was guilty of self promotion at the expense of the bears and his girlfriend, but as a juror, I wouldn’t have sentenced his to a Romanesque fate of death by becoming a bear entrée and I certainly wouldn’t have sentenced his starry eyed granola sweetie to being the dessert. In the film it appeared to me that Ms. Huguenard was a tad frightened of the bears. At least she had some sense. It’s a shame that her instincts that were so correct in her fear of wild animals were so incorrect in her choice of a mate. Speaking of “mates” did anyone else think this guy was gayer than a sheep herding Wyoming cowboy?

Toward the end of the film a couple of fellow social reject bear huggers are seen standing over the corpse of a dead bear. They use this as proof that without the “bear whisperer” poachers are running amok in the Alaskan wilds. What they don’t tell you the viewer is how they know that his bear has been poached. Just like us, bears die of natural causes and when they do, they drop where they died and get gnawed on by just about everything in the forest. Poached bears are usually taken out of the woods as trophies or medicinal commodities for horny Japanese millionaires. If someone goes to all of the trouble to poach a bear, they don’t leave it as a carrion buffet for the scavengers. That is the equivalent of finding a car abandoned on the highway shoulder and saying “…see, this is a stolen car…”

My final thoughts on the subject are this: the guy was seeking fame and he achieved it at a very high price. His hubris is to be admonished, not glorified. Some of his defenders claim that getting ate up by the bears was the “…culmination of his life’s work.” Biologist Tom Smith asks "If you consider yourself a friend to bears, and want to project a positive image about them, how is getting two bears and yourself and your girlfriend killed a culmination of your life's work?” I can’t think of anything that expresses my sentiments more accurately.

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Although my editors hate it1, I love to use footnotes, inserted in the work of those whose opinions I do not share, as a foil to make my own point. Following is a letter from Grizzly People Director Louisa Wilcox, complete with my own personal color commentary.

In Honor of Timothy Treadwell

I write to honor my friend Timothy Treadwell, and commemorate a life lived with passion2, dedication3 and a heart the size of the wilds of Alaska4. I write too to ask for restraint in judging events that are not fully understood, where key questions hang like fall leaves.

No one5 who had seen Timothy’s photos and films, or heard him speak did not, for a moment, reflect upon wild nature afresh, deeply, personally, and with a renewed energy to defend it6. Looking at his images was as if seeing into the soul of a bear7. Watching him perform in a classroom, you saw a magician who explained the mysteries of bears and their lives in such a way that children emerged glowing, as if they too were the discoverers of wild America. Hearing him talk about his bears, by name, with their bonds of affection, quirky behavior, and playful antics, you felt that you were let in on great secrets that few receive today-or have forgotten as wilderness has been paved over and subdivided8. In an interview with David Letterman, you saw a quick wit, returning each Letterman volley with panache, sparkle and a hint of an Australian accent9. In a filmed scene of Timothy singing to a mother bear, flat on her back, with two cubs nursing on top of her, you imagined for a moment that she too enjoyed the song of gentleness10. And you had no doubt that you were hearing a “bear whisperer.”
In Timothy’s company, you knew you were in the presence of a spirit that loomed larger than life, who flew at an elevation that few achieve, who lived with a depth of conviction rare as gold in these shallow times11. The sight of Timothy’s blond head above a crush of buzzing children was like a flame crowded by moths12 – they, hungry for a moment in his light, in the electric current of his love for all wild hearts. Yet for all his brave, bold ways, there was a fragile, ephemeral nature in Timothy who seemed, at times, not of this world really – not slated, perhaps, to be long among pedestrians13.

Undoubtedly his story will be become bigger with the telling, in part because of the sheer drama of his life. Like geology, the tale will likely unfold in layers, over time. Venturing to the wildest parts of Alaska as an outdoor novice. Living alone, for the most part, among the bugs and the rain, to record the lives of generations of bears in the tradition of Jane Goodall14. Healing himself from a drug habit by dedicating himself to saving grizzlies. Surviving on the edge of poverty, giving away all – his time, his soul and his photographs – for the purpose of keeping the wilderness wild. Starring15 in Animal Planet, Discovery Channel, Rosie O’Donnell and numerous films, always advocating for an animal in desperate need of more defenders. Sharing the lives of bears and his own with over 10,000 students a year in California, Colorado and other schools, for free. Protesting today’s growing culture of fear and meanness of spirit, by living with courage, humor and a hopeful heart. In the end, dying as all heroes of tragedy do – partly16 by their own mistakes.

Sadly it is the blood in the water that is today’s media focus – Timothy’s, Amie’s and at least two grizzlies. Unfortunately, too, bears are being shown in the light of old stereotypes – godless monsters17. And in a defensive posture, the Park Service appears poised to impose more restrictions18, further shrinking opportunities to experience the essence of the wild.
But bears will soon be finding dens19, Alaska will settle down for the winter, the snows will come, and the press will drop the scent of the story. Then there will be things that those of us who love bears can do. Keep alive Timothy’s love of the wilderness, with bears and foxes and salmon and eagles20. Look inside ourselves for new ways to tell the full story of bear, with its many other faces – cubs play-wrestling and copying mama fishing for salmon, snoozing in a shady day bed, cooling off in a glacier-fed bay. Promote respect for bears and concern for their future, at a time of unprecedented attacks on their habitat21.
For now, it is enough to honor the dead and celebrate a rare life, and the places and creatures he brought into ours.

Louisa Willcox22

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1. but I love them!
2. desire for fame
3. hubris
4. and an ego as big as the Hollywood sign
5. except me
6. or exploit it
7. do Bears have souls?
8. damn people, if they would all just drink Mr. Jones’s Kool Aid, we could give the land back to the bears… Oh wait, how would we write about how much we hate people if we were all gone?
9. a self serving fake Australian accent that he put on to somehow become more famous
10. she just wasn’t hungry or she would have eaten him and saved some for her cubs
11. shallow, you mean like a person who would have two bears and his girlfriend killed just so he could achieve celebrity status and hang our with Leo, Rosie and Dave
12. sounds a little too Michael Jacksonesque to me
13. if by pedestrians you mean people who go through life without getting people killed to achieve their own selfish goals
14. wasn’t she a scientist, not a failed actor producing his own reality show and raising money from celebrities?
15. now we’re getting to the truth
16. PARTLY? Who else could possibly be at fault? Even the Republicans couldn’t get saddled with this one! On second thought, I guess the BEARS had a little to do with it.
17. or as just bears, doing bear stuff, like eating things that they can kill if they so desire and are hungry or threatened
18. like the ones ignored by the “bear whisperer” that prohibited close contact with wild animals.By the way, in that movie with Robert Redford about the “horse whisperer,” did the horses end up eating Redford? I can’t remember. I guess Treadwell couldn’t get the bear to stop eating him long enough to her his “whispering”
19. and eating people if the opportunity arises
20. was this guy an “eagle whisperer” too?
21. damn people again!
22. moron