What makes me drool

If you’ve read Making Waves, you probably have an inkling I’m rather fond of food. I drooled every time I wrote about one of Cookie’s gourmet meals.

If you’ve read the first episode of my new “active fiction” title from Coliloquy, you know Getting Dumped seals the deal. It’s true, I am a food whore.

Many of the dishes described in Getting Dumped are real menu items from my personal repertoire. For those who’ve been asking, here’s one of my favorites described in the story:

Cranberry Pork Roast in the Crockpot

• 2-3 pound pork roast (I buy the three-packs at Costco and freeze ‘em)
• 1 16-ounce can of whole berry cranberry sauce
• 1 tsp stone ground mustard
• ¾ cup orange juice (I’ve also used cranberry or apple in a pinch)
• 1/3 cup brown sugar
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• ½ tsp ground cloves
• 1 pinch ground orange peel (optional)
• Salt & pepper to taste

Throw the roast in your Crockpot. Mix up all the other crap and dump it over the roast. Turn your Crockpot on low and retreat to the bedroom with someone naked to spend the next eight or nine hours doing something more fun than cooking.

Or go to work. Whatever.

Come home, stab the roast with a fork, and pull it out of the pot. Don’t be surprised if it shreds to pieces because it’s so tender. If the liquid left in your Crockpot is bubbling a bit, mix up about a tablespoon of cornstarch and a tablespoon of water until the cornstarch is all dissolved. You can use flour if you prefer, but mix it in a separate dish or you’ll make a gloppy mess. When the mixture is pasty, dump it in the bubbling liquid.

If your liquid wasn’t bubbling to start with, make it bubble. Like in a saucepan, not in your hot tub. That would be weird. Then add the cornstarch or flour mix. The object is to thicken it up so it’s a nice, tasty sauce.

When you’ve got that ready, shred your pork with a couple forks and throw it back in t he sauce. Serve. It’s terrific with rosemary garlic mashed potatoes and a nice salad.

Bon Appétit!

Oh, and the first episode of Getting Dumped is on sale at Amazon for $1.99 right now. Snag it while it’s cheap!

I am cheap and easy

I'm late getting home from a weekend road trip, and too brain dead to come up with a witty blog post.

What little energy I have left was spent doing a small happy-dance (complete with jeweled stilettos and nipple tassels) about the jump I noticed over the weekend for Kindle sales of Making Waves.

It's not like the general public was suddenly overwhelmed by the magnitude of my brilliance, or even spurred by the urge to read a good shower sex scene.

The spike came from the fact that Amazon picked Making Waves for a special "Big Deals" promotion. From December 17 through December 23, the Kindle version of the book is only 99-cents.

That means a whole lot of people who wouldn't ordinarily take a gamble on a new author thought to themselves, "I can either buy that pack of D-batteries at the Dollar Store, or I can spring for a cheap e-book."

I seem to be winning over the D-batteries, which makes me downright cheerful since I know what those batteries can be used for.

It's not just the Kindle users who benefit, since pretty much anyone with an iPhone or an iPad can download a Kindle app and read that version of the book.

It also makes a cheap and easy gift. With two simple clicks last night, I sent a copy to my dad's new Kindle. Probably not the best Christmas gift, since he already owns a copy, but it's the thought that counts.

Anyway, if you've been on the fence about buying the book for yourself or an e-book savvy loved one, now's the time to snag it.

But if you find yourself in an orgasm-induced coma for the next few days and wake to discover it's December 24 and the sale is over, don't fret.

Before we got word about Making Waves being chosen for the Amazon promotion, Sourcebooks had already made plans to include the Kindle version in a different promotion. That means even after the 99-cent deal ends Friday, you'll still be able to snag the Kindle version for $1.99 through January 8.

Lest you think I'm offended at being so cheap and easy, let me assure you this is one of the best things to happen for a debut author. Promotions like this are a great way to spike your rankings and visibility, and means more people will end up reading my book. Just the sort of buzz I want with two new books coming out within the next three months, no?

So if you're looking to score a cheap gift for a loved one, here's the link. Heck, give it to all your friends and family. I'm sure Aunt Mildred will enjoy the Strip Battleship scene.

Great news + get a signed copy of Making Waves!

I mentioned yesterday that I have some big news I'm not allowed to share for another couple weeks.

Someone let the cat out of the bag early, so I figure since the news is already floating around, I might as well share it here. I haven't been given the official OK or anything, but it's always better to seek forgiveness later than ask permission now, right?

So here's the news: Making Waves has been nominated for "best contemporary romance" in the RT Book Reviews 2011 Reviewers' Choice Awards.

What does that mean? Well, as you might guess from the name, RT Book Reviews is a publication featuring mutation research and genetic toxicology.

Kidding.

Obviously they review books. About 3,000 books a year, or 250 a month. And one of those books happened to be Making Waves, in 4.5 star review that declared, "This delightfully witty debut will have readers laughing out loud."

Getting that review back in July totally made my month, but the news that I've now been nominated for best contemporary romance among ALL THOSE FREAKIN' BOOKS?!?! Totally made my year. In her letter to the Sourcebooks publicist, the publisher of RT Book Reviews explained, "Our ace reviewers and editors have scoured 12 months’ worth of reviews to compile the best of the best for the annual RT Book Reviews Career Achievement and Reviewers’ Choice Awards. For the Reviewers’ Choice nominees, our star team selected only those novels that deeply resonated with them."

I'm a big fan of anything resonating deeply. Like really, REALLY deeply. Wait, what?

Anyway, I'm thrilled to be nominated. I'll find out in April whether I won, and there's a big awards presentation at the RT Booklovers Convention that I'm kinda hoping someone offers to fly me to because my only experience in Chicago is getting stuck at the O'Hare airport and eating a lot of really bad pizza, and I'd kind of like to eat some good pizza and maybe even see where Sourcebooks is located, since their headquarters is somewhere near Chicago and I'm pretty sure I should celebrate this nomination by dancing naked on my editor's desk.

Or not.

Wait, how should I celebrate? Tell me! Leave a comment with your best celebratory suggestion, and I'll choose one winner to receive a signed copy of Making Waves.

I'm not promising to actually celebrate in the manner you suggest, but I'll give it some serious thought. Deep thought. Really, REALLY deep thought.

The most fun I've had rubbing a cheese doodle

A few weeks ago, I saw a round of blog posts by authors answering the question, "what's the toughest scene you've ever written?"

I knew the answer to that without even thinking about it, but that's damn depressing. I don't do depressing. I do funny.

At least I try to.

So that got me thinking, "what's the most fun you've ever had writing a scene?"

Now that I can answer without giving you all the urge to leap off the top of the nearest building.

I've had a lot of fan mail referencing this scene from Making Waves, and it's come up in conversation with every single book club I've chatted with in the last few months. Everyone calls it "the cheese doodle scene" for reasons that should be obvious in just a minute.

Some background about this scene: Much of the chemistry between Juli and Alex in Making Waves stems from all the near-miss hookups between them throughout the book. The cheese doodle scene takes place near the end of the story when it looks like finally, FINALLY, they're going to consummate their relationship.

But then...well, the mood takes a nosedive. They're sitting on a hotel balcony at night overlooking the ocean, and while Juli is trying to figure out how to get the mood back, something happens.

I adore the challenge of writing love scenes with some element of, "this shouldn't be hot, but it totally is." You'll find traces of it in almost any book I write, but the cheese doodle scene is one of my favorites in this capacity. I still smile remembering how much fun it was to write.

So with that introduction, I give you the cheese doodle scene...

Juli looked at Alex, considering her next words. “What were you guys hoping to steal from Tom’s boat?” she asked finally, surprising herself with her bluntness. “That’s the only part you haven’t told me yet. If we’re laying all our cards on the table, I want to know what you were going after out there.”

Alex frowned, staring out at the ocean again. “Diamonds. Forty-eight million dollars worth of diamonds, to be exact.”

“Really?”

“Yup. We had some pretty good intelligence that told us what was on that boat. An illegal transaction, something we could intercept without getting caught. We even had a plan to fence them through a connection in Antwerp. I’m still not sure what went wrong.”

“They weren’t there?”

“Nope.”

She put a hand on his leg, feeling the heat beneath her palm. “I’m sorry,” she said at last.

“Not your fault.”

“I know, but this isn’t how you planned it.”

Alex shrugged. “I’ll survive.”

Juli turned back to the ocean, trying to think of how to permeate the grim haze that had fallen over them. She felt sad for Alex, no doubt about it. Really, very sad.

But she still wanted to roll around naked with him.

Okay, so that made her an insensitive trollop. There it was. Even as she wanted to cradle his head in her lap and stroke his hair and tell him things would be okay, she also wanted to tear his clothes off with her teeth and lick her way down his abdomen.

Of course, they’d obviously lost their mood mojo in the last hour. Somehow, they’d gone from passionate groping to companionable, somber dinner conversation with the dark ocean crashing beneath them.

Not that there was anything wrong with that.

But really, more groping would be nice.

Juli frowned at the ocean. How to get the mood back? The women’s magazines never really addressed the proper method for jumping back on track with a derailed hookup. Maybe running her hand up his leg? Sticking her tongue in his ear?

No, maybe something sensitive. Perhaps she should gaze meaningfully into his eyes, whisper something sweet and sultry, give him her best come-hither look—

“Oh, baby! I want to rub your cheese doodle ’til my hands turn orange.”

Juli jumped, sending her fork flying off the edge of the balcony. There was another loud whoop, followed by something that sounded like yodeling. Juli frowned and looked at Alex.

His expression was equally perplexed.

“You rub my doodle, baby, and I’ll give it to you so good you’ll tattoo my name on that sweet little tushy of yours.”

Juli winced, disgusted. But also curious. She craned her neck to see where the voices were coming from, baffled by sounds that reminded her of the time the raccoons got stuck in her mother’s basement.

“On the beach,” Alex whispered. “I think they’re right below us.”

“Are you serious?”

“See the shadows? Right there?”

“Where?”

Alex pointed. “Just below us. Edge of the water, over to the left.”

Juli squinted in the darkness. “Wha—is that a T-shirt that just went flying through the air?”

Alex leaned forward, peering down at the beach.

“Yes. And I believe it says ‘Mustache rides, five cents.’”

“Ew.”

“Yeah, honey, tear that bra off with your teeth! Just like that, baby—oh, careful with the dentures, that’s it. You tiger! You lion! You wildebeest! Grrrr!”

“Oh, I’m gonna give it to you so good, girl. You want me to spank you like the naughty little hamster you are?”

Juli wasn’t sure whether to cover her ears or her eyes. Or both. She looked up at Alex, who looked equally repulsed and fascinated.

“How do you like your eggs, baby? Over easy or hard-boiled?”

“Give ’em to me scrambled, daddy, with a little pat of butter.”

“How about margarine?”

“I don’t even know what that means,” Juli whispered, crawling on all fours to peer through the slats of the balcony. All she could see was dark sand and the swirl of water advancing and retreating.

That was probably for the best.

“Do you think we should take notes?” Alex whispered, scooting forward to join her. “Because a lot of this is new to me.”

“I think we should be vaccinated.”

There was a disturbing cacophony of smacking, giggling, and groaning, and Juli thought for a moment she might see her Denver omelet again. She tried to focus in the darkness, straining to see something, halfway afraid she might succeed.

“This is disgusting,” Alex said.

“We should go inside.”

“Totally.”

“And lock the door.”

“I’m with you.”

Neither of them moved.

“Yeah, mama. You want a little hot salsa on that taco?”

“Ooh, daddy, guacamole too!”

Juli grimaced. “Do you think we should alert the hotel managers?”

“And say what? ‘Someone’s having really tacky sex on the beach’?”

“Well…”

“Besides, we might miss something.”

Juli scooted to the left, angling her face through the bars of the balcony, trying for at least a glimpse. She felt Alex’s shoulder warm against hers and reminded herself that this was gross and disturbing, not a turn-on.

Not at all.

“This seems wrong,” Juli whispered, feeling Alex’s shoulder shake with laughter.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “We should have binoculars.”

“I’m thinking we might need a bucket of ice water in case things get out of hand down there.”

He looked at her. “You actually think it could be more out of hand?”

“I think these two have unplumbed depths of depravity.”

“It sounds like they’re doing their best to plumb them.”

Alex moved closer and she felt his breath warm on her neck. She tried not to find it erotic. Truly, this was the least erotic thing she could imagine.

Wasn’t it?

“Who’s my little bunny? Who’s my little grasshopper?”

“Right here, baby! Hop! Hop!”

“This is better than pay-per-view,” Alex whispered.

“This is so not a turn-on,” Juli whispered back, pretty sure that was true.

“Not even a little?”

She ignored him. “It’s like a train wreck. You want to look away, but you can’t.”

“Ahoy, matey! Firing me cannon through your porthole in one-two-three…”

“Bwaaack! Polly wants a cracker!”

“Shiver me timbers, baby!”

There was a disturbing amount of screaming, moaning, and the slap of water on the sand. Then a few moments of silence, followed by some soulful murmuring Juli was glad not to be able to hear.

She looked at Alex. Alex looked back at her.

“I don’t know what to say,” Alex said finally, sitting back on his heels and looking nonplussed.

“How can you add to that?”

He nodded sagely. “We probably shouldn’t try.”

“Best to just enjoy the memory.”

“Think there’ll be an encore?”

“I think I need a shower.”

Alex nodded again. “No kidding.”

Juli smiled at him and touched a hand to his knee. “Care to join me?”

So there you have it...the most fun I've ever had writing a scene. If you're an author, can you describe the most enjoyment you've ever had writing something? If you aren't a writer, what's the most fun you've had reading a scene? Please share!

Oh, and since I might as well insert a shameless plug for Making Waves at this point, you can order the book at at Amazon or Barnes and Noble or Powells Books or IndieBound. Thanks for reading!

Does the shoe fit you now?

I love to get a jump on things, and not just in the filthy sense of the phrase.

Though snow won’t fly for at least a month in Central Oregon, I spent yesterday driving to the middle of nowhere for a good deal on a set of snow tires. It was a three-hour round trip through cattle country, with directions that included phrases like, “head west past Beaver Street, turn right on Cum Flat, and go 13 miles until the pavement ends.”

(I swear I that’s what I heard – I even asked the woman to repeat “Cum Flat” three times before I gave up and wrote it down. Turns out “Combs Flat” sounds different with a western twang).

There’s something about that sort of road trip that puts me in the mood to listen to country music. It’s not my normal fare, but since I went to college in Montana, I was required by law to listen to it and even have a few songs on my iPod.

The stories appeal to my author sensibilities. If you can listen to Rascal Flats sing Ellsworth and not sob like a baby over Grandma’s descent into dementia and unwavering love for Grandpa, you are dead inside.

I rolled down my windows and sang at the top of my lungs with Pam Tillis and Trisha Yearwood, and I swear only two or three cows covered their ears with their hooves. But when Suzy Boggus started singing Cinderella, I shut up and listened to the lyrics.

It starts with one girlfriend reminiscing about the other’s fairy tale wedding, then cycles through the realities of their happily ever after – kids, jobs, disillusionment, aging, lost dreams – all the fun stuff country music is made of.

It was the chorus that really caught my ear:

Hey, Cinderella, what's the story all about?
I’ve got a funny feeling we missed a page or two somehow
Oh, Cinderella, maybe you could help us out
Does the shoe fit you now?

There’s something ironic about a romance author divorcing the year her debut novel hits shelves. I’m doing ridiculously great now, so you can skip the butt pats (though you’re welcome to give me a flirty little pinch if the urge strikes). I can say with 110% certainty that things happen for a reason, and I’m in a damn good place now.

Still, my happily ever after doesn’t look much like I imagined, nor does it look much like the ones I write. Or does it?

I doubt I’m giving away any shocking spoilers by telling you that Alex and Juli sail off into the sunset together at the end of Making Waves. But then what?

As a romance author, I’m forced to end the story there, but that doesn’t stop me from imagining what might happen next. Maybe Alex waits five years into their marriage before confessing he’d like Juli to spank him with Cookie’s pancake turner on a nightly basis.

Maybe Juli’s OK with that.

Or maybe Juli gets drunk one night with Malcom the literary pirate and neither of them can remember later how she ended up with paper cuts on her thighs.

Given what I know about real-life happily ever afters, those things could happen. Does it make the ending of the novel any less poignant? Does it taint the tenderness of the happily ever after to know it might not look exactly the way you picture it when you’re surrounded by candlelight and the heady scent of squished roses?

I don’t think so, but I’d like to hear your thoughts. Do you ever consider what comes after the happily ever after in love stories? Why or why not? Please share!

Oh, and just so I’m not the only one with that song stuck in my head all day, here you go:

A shirtless man holding my book. Need I say more?

It was a good weekend for learning important life lessons.

I mean besides the fact that you shouldn't play badminton in the dark unless a mild concussion is your idea of a good time.

The most significant lesson I learned is that you shouldn't hold a blog contest over Labor Day weekend.

I'm choosing to believe that's the reason I got exactly one entry (since the alternative is to accept the possibility that no one wanted to win a signed copy of Making Waves).

No matter, the one entry I got is so hysterical, so charming, that I feel like it should count for ten entries. That pretty much guarantees Geoffrey Cubbage wins, so congratulations to him!

Geoffrey made a crack in Thursday's blog comments about dropping his pants in WalMart to cause a scene that might prompt people to buy Making Waves. I told him that if he did, I'd make sure he got one of the signed copies.

Here's what Geoffrey emailed me Sunday evening:

Tawna,

The very nice elderly lady working at Barnes and Noble asked me to keep my pants on but seemed fine with me posing open-shirted, so here you have it: a picture inside with the book, a picture outside the door with it and one of us attempting a car roof pin-up, and then a shot of the attractive lady who bought the copy looking strangely excited about Battleships for some reason! (You can't see "Making Waves" in that one because we're forgetful and bad at photos, but it's totally in the purse there.)

Just don't tell my poor old mother that her sons are sending half-naked pictures of themselves to young women on the internet now.

Cheers,

Geoffrey Cubbage
http://misanthropology101.wordpress.com/

Let's have a huge round of applause for Geoffrey, shall we? Nicely done.

Want to try it yourself? I've still got two copies of Making Waves I'd be happy to sign and send out into the world. Show me how you convinced someone to buy the book. You don't have to send embarrassing photos (though obviously that's a whole lot of fun). Get creative! Perhaps an email to friends urging them to run to their nearest WalMart and buy the book? Skywriting? A strategically placed Making Waves tattoo?

The possibilities are endless, and I'm extending the deadline through Sunday, September 11 at noon PST. Send what you've got to tawnafenske at yahoo dot com. I'll pick two winners and will announce them on Monday, September 12. Questions? Leave 'em in the comments.

And how about another round of applause for Geoffrey?

Who's saying what?

I keep getting scolded for forgetting to share good news with you guys.

The thing is, I forget who I've gushed to about certain things, and I also kinda hate bragging.

But I'll admit I've been over-the-moon thrilled with some of the reviews Making Waves has gotten lately. Especially this one in the Chicago Tribune.

I had to go back and look at that at least six times to see if that was really my name on the same list as Susan Elizabeth Phillips and Mary Kay Andrews and Cherry freakin' Adair. If it's just an elaborate practical joke, I don't want anyone to clue me in.

The Sourcebooks publicist has been an absolute godsend when it comes to assembling the reviews into one tidy place and giving me lists of all the best snippets. To avoid another scolding, I'm going to share the list with you here:

Praise for Making Waves by Tawna Fenske, a 2011 Writers Digest Notable Debut

August 2011, ISBN 9781402257216

Fenske's wildly inventive plot and wonderfully quirky characters provide the perfect literary antidote to any romance reader's summer reading doldrums. –The Chicago Tribune

A zany caper... Fenske’s off-the-wall plotting is reminiscent of a tame Carl Hiaasen on Cupid juice. -Booklist

[An] uproarious romantic caper… Great fun from an inventive new writer; highly recommended. -STARRED review, Library Journal

This delightfully witty debut will have readers laughing out loud... 4 1/2 Stars and Top Pick of the Month -RT Book Reviews

This book was the equivalent of eating whipped cream … sure it was light and airy, but it is also surprisingly rich. -Smart Bitches Trashy Books

I really had fun reading this quirky romance... an awesome debut novel. A Night Owl Reviewer Top Pick -Night Owl Reviews

Fresh and sassy... -BookLoons.com

Hilariously funny... wacky and quirky. -Sugarbeat’s Books

Entertaining and hilarious with quirky and very likable characters. A solid debut. -Under the Boardwalk

Utterly sensational and entirely unique. -Romance Fiction on Suite101.com

Pure wacky fun... -Cheeky Reads

A light, enjoyable read. -All About Romance

A laugh a minute adventure that is perfect for a reading escape... -SOS Aloha

This story hits the spot for laugh out loud, fun reading! -Reviews by Martha’s Bookshelf

Quirky, sexy and funny... -A Good Addiction

A funny, sexy, screwball romance that is reminiscent of early Jennifer Crusie. –The Romance Reader

Pure romantic and comic entertainment. –Romance Novel News

Hilarious and a little bit dirty. –Devourer of Books

I’ll be snatching up the next Tawna Fenske book the instant it hits the shelves. – Everybody Needs a Little Romance

***

Did anyone else get teary-eyed reading that, or is it just me?

Just me. Right.

At any rate, I sure would love your help seeing if we can make book sales match the reviews. Did you see the contest in yesterday's blog post? I'm giving away three signed copies of Making Waves to people who gush to friends or strangers about the book. Every little bit counts!

And thanks for joining me on this wild and crazy ride.

Dude looks like a lady

I was standing in a downtown boutique yesterday when a paunchy, balding man walked by wearing neon-pink tights, a black miniskirt, an ill-fitting t-shirt, and platform heels so high he had trouble keeping pace with the large dog he was walking on a bright pink leash.

Beside me, two women began to chatter quietly.

Woman 1: He needs to buy some new pantyhose. Those ones have rips in the back.

Woman 2: I think that’s on purpose. He’s making a fashion statement.

Woman 1: What’s the statement? Check out my crown jewels peeking out from under the skirt?

Woman 2: Something like that. He really should learn to walk better in those heels.

Woman 1: And work on his comportment. Last week I saw him spit on the sidewalk.

Woman 2: No!

Woman 1: Yes! I told him a lady wouldn’t spit in public.

What I loved most about the conversation is that the women were intent on critiquing his manners and fashion sense, but not particularly concerned with casting judgment on the fact that this was a man parading down the street in women’s clothing.

Their chief concern was the clothing itself.

It got me thinking about one of my characters in Making Waves. In case you haven’t read it, one of the guys who becomes part of the dysfunctional pirate crew is a former NFL football player turned laid-off corporate reject turned gourmet chef on a high seas diamond heist. Though he’s first introduced as Cody, he makes it clear once they’re out to sea that he wants to be known as Cookie. There are a few references to cross dressing, and his over-the-top affinity for cooking and cross-stitching makes him seem a bit effeminate.

But never once does the book make any reference to his sexual preference. Even so, I’ve seen at least two or three reviews refer to the character as gay.

None of the reviewers have been snarky about it, and no one has pointed it out as a negative aspect of the story. I don’t fault them for making the assumption, and a large majority of reviews have cited Cookie as a favorite character.

Still, I find the whole thing fascinating. For the record, Cody/Cookie wasn’t gay in my mind. Effeminate, yes. Conflicted, sure. Quirky, definitely. But not gay.

But that doesn’t mean he can’t be gay in your mind, and if that’s how you want to read the character, I don’t have a problem with it.

I’ll confess I’ve done this more than once as a reader. It wasn’t until I saw photos from the casting of the Hunger Games movie that I realized Rue was African American. It wasn’t how I pictured the character when I read the book, but when I went back and read it a second time, I realized the descriptions made that pretty clear.

Do you ever catch yourself making assumptions about a character and then realizing you’ve filled in the blanks in a way the author may not have intended? Do you think it matters? If you’ve read Making Waves, what was your assumption about Cookie? Please share, I’m fascinated.

And please let me know where I might find a pair of neon pink pantyhose in size XXL. I really ought to help that guy out.

This blog is temporarily out of order...or something like that

The other day, my agent told me I was being a dumbass.

OK, she didn't actually say that. She didn't even imply it, but she would have been right if she had.

As she lovingly pointed out, Sourcebooks has gone to a lot of trouble to arrange this rather hefty "virtual book tour" for me.

As she also pointed out, I've gone to a lot of trouble to write all the required guest blog posts and interviews.

Wouldn't it be swell if I...oh, I don't know...MENTIONED IT SOMEWHERE?

Um, yeah.

So I created that nifty little sidebar you see over there on the right. It's a list of links to guest blog posts I've written, interviews I've given, and fun little fiction pieces I've crafted in support of this virtual book tour.

There's a lot of fun stuff there, and a helluva lot more coming. In case you've ever wondered how many blog posts it's humanly possible to write in one afternoon, I've been experimenting. If I drop dead, you should count up all the posts I've sent to the publicist in the last 24 hours and then subtract one. There's your answer.

Anyway, that's my message for you today. Go check out some of the virtual book tour. Many of the sites are even doing book giveaways for Making Waves, so there's a chance to score an extra copy.

Happy reading!

Do I sound like a moron to you?

This past Sunday I had my very first book signing event.

It goes without saying I was nervous. The event took place at my local Barnes & Noble and was heavily promoted as a combination book signing, author reading, and Q&A.

No one actually told me this, but I suspected the reading was supposed to be from my book. I also had a hunch I was supposed to be the one to read it.

This might not seem like such a novel concept to most of you. Many, many articles of writing advice will tell you that an excellent way to gauge the flow of your own prose is to read passages aloud to yourself.

Despite having heard this wise tip for years, Sunday's reading was the first time in my life I'd read my own fiction out loud to anyone.

I suppose that's sort of like testing out new recipes on house-guests instead of your own family. People say it's a bad idea, but who among us hasn't done it anyway?

It was a fascinating experience. For those of you who've read Making Waves already, you'll know what I mean when I say I read the Newlywed Game scene starting and ending with Alex's point-of-view.

There were points where I expected people to laugh and they did.

There were points where I expected people to laugh and they didn't.

There were points where I expected no one to laugh, and you could have knocked me over with a feather when complete strangers started cracking up.

It was actually a damn good lesson for me. Not just about the subjective nature of humor, but the fact that any sort of writing sounds different in your head versus my head versus my ears versus your ears.

Don't even get me started on other body parts.

In all seriousness, Sunday's reading convinced me I probably shouldn't keep ignoring all the advice that suggests writers read their own work aloud. It certainly gave me a different perspective, and what writer can't benefit from that?

And speaking of lessons learned, it's possible I should pick a scene without so many curse words when reading to a large group that includes several children under the age of six.

I'd love to know if you've ever experimented with reading your own prose aloud. How did it change things for you? What did you gain from it? If you haven't done it, what's stopping you? Please share.

And in the spirit of sharing, here are a few pics from Sunday's event, courtesy of photographer Craig Zagurski:


P.S. I'm already getting lots of email messages and tweets from people wanting to know where I got the shirt I'm wearing in the pictures. That is my lucky t-shirt, and you can get your very own (along with tons of other great writer-themed gear) right here.

A book birthday, a contest winner, and a lot of gratitude

Throughout the weekend, people sent photos of my book on the shelves at WalMarts around the nation.

This morning I've been getting messages from people letting me know Making Waves has downloaded to their Kindles.

It's been out for a couple weeks in Barnes & Noble and Powell's and Amazon, so I guess it's official – Making Waves has released.

If anyone had told me a year ago how chaotic life would be in the days surrounding the release of my debut novel, I might have called my agent and asked if we could trade the book contract for something more relaxing. Electrified nipple clamps, maybe.

That's not to say I'm not giddy and grateful and delighted beyond words.

But I'm also utterly exhausted.

And while it's fresh in my mind, I'll tell you a few things that are helping me keep my sanity right now. Maybe it'll be helpful to those of you with book releases on the horizon, or maybe it'll help someone facing any sort of crazy stressful schedule.

Forgive yourself
You know how I usually write my blog posts the night before and set them to go up at 2:30 a.m.? You can see from the time on this post that I missed the boat today. I hate that. I also hate staring at the big, glossy alumni magazine from my college with its lovely feature on great summer reads. Making Waves isn't on the list, not because they hate me, but because I neglected to tell them about it. I forgot.

You know what? It's not the end of the world. The late blog posts, the missed PR opportunities, the deadlines that have blown past no matter how many late nights and early mornings I've put in these past few weeks. My writing career won't be made or lost based on things like this, and I have to remind myself of that constantly.

My Making Waves pose on Paulina Lake.

Give yourself a break
I had planned to devote my weekend to tackling edits and blog posts and some of the promo tasks sent to me by the amazing publicist at Sourcebooks. Then a friend called. "We're thinking of taking the boat up to Paulina Lake for the afternoon. Want to come?"

The answer to that question should always be YES! Even when you're busy. Especially when you're busy. Your brain can only produce so much, and then it becomes a puddle of cereal mush at the bottom of the garbage disposal. You need mental health breaks. You need a change of scenery. You need to be in the company of friends and loved ones and beautiful things that make you happy and keep you refreshed.

Besides, how cool is this photo of my feet in a semi-sorta reenactment of my book cover?

Let other people help you
I'm not good at accepting help that's offered, and I'm really not good at asking for help in the first place, but I did both this past weekend, and I've gotta tell you – it feels amazing.

My dad spits cherry pits to pick a contest winner.

I love to cook. It's one of my favorite hobbies, but even hobbies can feel overwhelming when you're stressed. When a text message showed up yesterday afternoon that began, "I'm bringing dinner tonight," I literally bawled with gratitude.

And since I was on a roll with the help thing, I called my parents and asked if they'd be willing to go through all the entries in last week's blog contest and address the envelopes to everyone who earned a signed envelope. Not only did they jump right on that task, they offered to pick the winner who will receive the added bonus of a signed copy of Making Waves, along with an advance reading copy of Believe it or Not when it becomes available.

Their selection process involved writing all the entrants' names on a sheet of paper and spitting cherry pits at it. A brilliant solution, so congratulations to Ara Grigorian (who actually wrote a lovely review of Making Waves just last week). Send me your snail mail address and I'll hook you up with your prize).

Thanks so much to all of you who've read the blog, entered the contests, read the book, and posted glowing reviews on Amazon and Goodreads and all over the blogosphere. I am eternally grateful for all the support and kind words you've showered on me through this challenging and thrilling time in my life.

You rock so hard you make me seasick.

If you see my head go bouncing down the street…

I always expected the weeks surrounding the release of Making Waves would be a bit hectic. What I didn’t count on was the degree to which I would feel like my head might actually spin off my body if I didn’t routinely reach up and hold it in place.

The fact that the book shipped early from Amazon and Barnes & Noble threw me for a loop, as did reports that Making Waves began appearing in bookstores across the country a full two weeks before the intended August 2 release date. 

Not that I’m complaining, and not that it’s unusual in the book world. Still, I have to admit I literally squealed in shock when I spotted my book at the Bend, Oregon Barnes & Noble this past Sunday. Every bookstore patron within a 20-foot radius turned to see who’d been stabbed.

There’s been a lot of other excitement, too. I’ve already mentioned the 4.5 star review in RT Book Reviews that noted, “This delightfully witty debut will have readers laughing out loud,” and the article in Writer’s Digest that praised Making Waves at one of ten “notable debuts.” I think I forgot to tell you about last week’s news that Booklist magazine wrote a wonderfully glowing review that included the line, “Fenske’s off-the-wall plotting is reminiscent of a tame Carl Hiaasen on cupid juice.”

Which is great, since I adore Carl Hiaasen, and I also adore how deliciously filthy “cupid juice” sounds.

Let’s see, what else is making my head spin? All the wonderful, amazing pictures people have been emailing and tweeting and posting to Facebook as they receive Making Waves. This one of my cousin’s five-year-old was particularly adorable:

Then there's this photo from regular blog reader, Jason, proving that not only do male readers enjoy Making Waves, but so do dogs:

Then there’s the amazing series of posts and pictures assembled by Teri Anne Stanley. You may recall, she won a contest on this blog to receive an Advance Reading Copy of Making Waves by promising to show it a good time. Her posts spanning July 18 through July 26 prove she took the job very seriously. I’m particularly fond of this photo:

Thanks to everyone else who’s sent wonderful photos and notes as you’ve received and read the book. It means the world to me!

Um, what else?

Oh, yeah. There’s still time to get a free bookmark (plus a chance to win a great prize package) for sending poof that you pre-ordered the book. Details about that are right here. Deadline is July 31.

I’ve also been hearing from a lot of you about wanting me to sign your copy of Making Waves. I’m sure smarter authors have a better method than I do, but here’s what I’ve done in the past when I wanted an author to sign a book for me: I buy the book, take it to the post office, and I mail it to the author. Weird, right? Mailing the author his/her own book? 

But before I seal up the package, I have the postal worker weigh the book and a return envelope I’ve addressed to myself. I slap the postage on that bad boy, stuff it in the package with the book, and mail the whole thing to the author. That way the author has a pre-paid envelope to send the signed book back to me.

I swear it makes sense if you’ve had a couple glasses of wine. If you want to give it a shot, feel free to mail your book and your self-addressed, stamped package (snicker) to Tawna Fenske; PO Box 573; Bend, OR 97709.

OK, what else am I forgetting?

Right. Breathing. And eating. And sleeping. And sex.

Kidding, obviously. 

You know I wouldn’t forget that last one even if my head did fall off.

What slips in when you don’t notice?

The other day, someone asked my mom if she’s a terrible cook.

The question caught her off guard, and it took her a moment to realize the person was referring to the first chapter in Making Waves. In it, my heroine’s mother is casually assembling the world’s most disgusting Jell-O salad. It’s intended for comic relief, and not autobiographical in any way.

For the record, my mother is an excellent cook.

But it did get me thinking. There are plenty of people who’ll read my books and look for nuggets of my real life in there. In most cases, they’ll be barking up the wrong tree.

Then again, I’m sometimes surprised at what slips in unexpectedly (um, no pun intended. Oh, what the hell – it’s totally intended).

Not long ago, someone I don’t know well read an early draft of Believe it or Not, the book now scheduled as my second release.

“So you have a hand fetish, huh?” he asked when he’d finished.

“Um, what?”

“A hand fetish,” he repeated. “It’s totally obvious you’re obsessed with men’s hands.”

And dammit all to hell if he wasn’t right.

I hadn’t realized how thoroughly I’d revealed myself until he pointed it out, but there it was for all the world to see. Yes, I will admit it – I am driven to the brink of lust-fueled insanity by a great pair of hands.

Another time, one of my critique partners picked up on an unexpected pattern. “Do you realize at least four books you’ve written have sexually-charged scenes taking place in or near a shower?”

I went back and looked, and sure enough, there they were – a makeout scene that starts with two characters inspecting mold on a shower curtain, a phone sex scene when the heroine answers a call in the middle of showering, an actual sex scene on a bathroom counter, and of course, the much-buzzed-about shower scene in Making Waves (the only one of those aforementioned books currently out there for public consumption).

The whole thing made me wonder. Do I have a thing for showers? Should I seek clinical help, or just install some sturdy handrails and a skid-proof shower floor?

I’m not sure about the answer to any of those questions, but I’m not too worried about it. While I do follow the old adage to “write what you know,” that’s certainly not all I write. That would either be really boring or grounds for arrest.

How much reality slips into your writing? Does the line tend to blur? Do you worry that people will think something’s autobiographical when it isn’t (or recognize it is when it is?) Please share!

I’ve got a sudden urge to find someone with really great hands and make a beeline for the shower. What? It’s research.

The things we don't want to know

When I lived in Venezuela after college, I met a lot of interesting people from around the world. One was a girl from Sweden whose longtime boyfriend was a famous magician.

I was fascinated.

“Does he tell you how all the tricks work?” I asked her.

“I don’t want to know,” she told me with a smile. “It would ruin the mystique.”

I’ll admit it, I thought she was crazy. I’m the sort of person who opens Christmas presents early and reads online spoilers to learn how this season’s Bachelorette ends even though I’m not watching the show.

But the issue bubbled to the forefront of my brain yesterday morning when several of you told me Amazon was indicating only a few copies of Making Waves remained in stock. Was it really going to sell out? What did that mean? Did I need to start photocopying pages and mailing them off to Amazon?

The short answer is no: Amazon has plenty of books to sell.

But the whole thing set off a chain of conversations between my agent, me, and various execs at Sourcebooks about how sales totals are tallied, how many books are sent to different outlets, and how many copies have actually sold so far.

And that’s the part where I found myself wanting to put my fingers in my ear and hum. As it turns out, I don’t want to know.

It was a surprising sensation, but true. At this point, I can’t do much to control whether Amazon decides to ship the book two weeks early or how that might impact my first-week sales stats. I can’t control what the reviewers are saying. When presented with numbers about how many books have been printed or sold, all I can do is bite my nails and fret.

You may be surprised to know biting and fretting isn’t very productive.

The way I figure it, I already have plenty of things to worry about in my day-to-day life. There’s not much sense adding to the list with stuff I can’t do a damn thing about right now. I guess that’s why I find myself whimpering, “don’t tell me anything.” While ignorance may not be bliss, it at least keeps me from lying awake all night wondering if one more blog post about hurking in my underwear might’ve made the difference between my book becoming a bestseller or fading into oblivion.

How do you feel about surprises? Would you want to know how the magic tricks are done or how your book stats look once it’s out of your hands? Please share.

Oh, and if you know any good magic tricks, share those as well. I should have another skill to fall back on in case this writing thing doesn’t pan out.

My plea to you...no headlock required

You know how I’ve made it a point never to put anyone in a headlock and scream “buy my book!”

It’s because I believe wholeheartedly that social media works best when sales pitches are kept to a bare minimum, and I try to be bare as much as possible.

But today I’m making the plea – BUY MY BOOK!

Or more specifically, pre-order it. Like, now.

See, books are judged heavily on the first week’s sales. Pre-orders count toward that week, which is why you see a lot of authors dancing topless in exchange for pre-orders in the weeks leading up to release day.

I’m not saying I think I have a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting the New York Times list my first week out, but I always believe in giving any long-shot my best effort. Even though I know odds are slim Daniel Craig will leave his new wife to make wild, passionate love to me, I still Fed-Ex him locks of my hair every week.

So here’s my plea:

1. Pre-order the Making Waves by Sunday, July 31. You can order at Amazon or Barnes and Noble or Powells Books or IndieBound.
2. Send an email to tawnafenske at yahoo dot com with the subject line “Hell yes I pre-ordered!” In the email, include either an electronic copy of your receipt, or if you already received the book due to Amazon's early shipment, a photo of yourself with the book.
3. Include your snail-mail address.

Follow those steps by Sunday, July 31 and I’ll mail you a signed Making Waves bookmark. Those of you reading the e-book version will find it makes a lovely coaster for a really narrow drink.

Everyone who participates gets the bookmark. In addition, everyone will be entered in a drawing to win a signed copy of Making Waves (hey, you can give your unsigned one to a friend) as well as a signed Advance Reading Copy of my second contracted romantic comedy, Believe it Or Not when it’s available. Not a bad package, right?

I said “package.”

So there’s my plea. No headlock required, right?

If you have any questions, leave ‘em in the comments. Otherwise, I’ll be over here hitting “refresh” on my in-box over and over and over and…

ADDENDUM

Holy cow, you guys! Um, talk about speedy response! Amazon is already showing limited quantities in stock (it said six copies just ten minutes ago, and now it says two). My amazing agent scrambled to touch base with the publisher and make sure there are plenty of books available. They've assured us there are, and that if anyone does happen to run out, printing more is a speedy proposition. So keep ordering, and thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

When is a release date not a release date?

You know what I love best about you guys?

I mean besides your sultry, sexy voices and firm but gentle hands (er, go to the Debutante Ball today if you want to see me explore that subject in more depth).

No, what I really love is that you keep me from being completely ignorant about my own book.

As I shared yesterday, I had no idea the September issue of Writer's Digest magazine contained such a lovely piece listing Making Waves as one of 10 "notable debuts" until a bunch of you emailed to tell me so.

When I opened my inbox last night to a flood of messages from friends and strangers alike, I felt another flutter of excitement. Were you writing to tell me I'd been nominated for president? Was there a warrant out for my arrest? Or maybe a sale at Pure Romance?

It wasn't any of those things, though it was almost as exciting as discounted sex toys. Apparently, Making Waves is being released a couple weeks early. Here's the text of one of the emails someone forwarded me from Amazon:

That was news to me, so I did a little sleuthing. Friends who pre-ordered the Kindle version of the book from Amazon didn't get that message, so it's apparently just the paperback. And I haven't heard from anyone who ordered from Barnes & Noble or Borders or Powells, so I'm not sure if those will ship early as well, or if it's just an Amazon thing.

I have no idea if it's some sort of shipping screw-up or a deliberate, strategic move from my publisher. I'm waiting to hear from my editor on that one.

When I shared the news with a close friend last night, I could tell he was worried I'd be upset. After all, the August 2 date has been marked on my calendar in lipstick since December, and burned into my brain even before that.

But honestly, I've never expected this grand, sweeping, drum-roll moment where the book is released in some elaborate ceremony and the angels sing from on high.

OK, I might've imagined that, but I didn't expect it.

I always assumed it would be more of a slow trickle. A few books appearing on the shelves of some suburban Barnes & Noble in Peoria a few weeks before they're supposed to, or an indie bookstore in Tampa not getting around to shelving them until December. Unless you write books that contain the words "Harry" and "Potter," it's my understanding that there's not a lot of fanfare or certainty in a release date.

So that's what I know right now. If you pre-ordered a paperback from Amazon, it looks like it's coming early. Heck, you could probably pre-order right now and get it next week (unless, of course, this IS a mistake and someone shuts it down now that I've blogged about it).

I'm intrigued by this date thing though. Do you get thrown for a loop when something you've anticipated for months ends up changing at the last minute? Do you get attached to specific dates like birthdays and anniversaries, or are you one of those people who can say, "want to celebrate Groundhog Day early this year?" Please share!

And please let me know if you've gotten any messages regarding date changes on a pre-order, I'm curious!

Writers is smart

The congratulatory emails started Tuesday morning.

I wasn’t sure why I was being congratulated, but I’ve found it’s sometimes best to play along until I figure out what the hell is going on around me. When you spend as much time as I do being clueless, you learn to operate that way.

Finally, I gathered enough puzzle pieces to figure out that someone had written something about me in the September issue of Writer’s Digest magazine. The mystery was enough to send me scrambling over to the library.

I tried to explain to the librarian what I was after, but my words came out in a jumbled torrent of excited adjectives and the occasional “holy crap!” That’s probably why she seemed intent on keeping her distance as she led me toward the magazine racks and pointed out the latest issue of the publication.

 

I leafed frantically through it, cursing at the thin pages and dropping the magazine twice.

“You’re sure it’s in there?” she asked.

Translation: Are you sure you’re really a writer? Because I think of writers as being kind of smart. Like at least smart enough to operate the pages of a magazine and maybe even read the sign on the front door that says pull instead of standing there like a moron shoving at it.

Or maybe she didn’t see that.

Anyway, I finally found the page, and jumped up and down a few times squealing. The librarian didn’t jump or squeal, but she did offer to photocopy the page that listed Making Waves as one of “10 Notable Debuts.”

I should point out that when I attempted to tweet and Facebook that headline, it took me three tries to spell “notable” right. 

Anyway, here’s part of the article. I won’t show you the whole thing, because obviously the good folks at Writer’s Digest want you to buy the magazine. Hey, I want to buy the magazine. As soon as my local bookstore gets it, I plan to buy at least a dozen copies.

I might even learn to turn the pages by myself.

Wallowing in the happy stuff

You guys cracked me up all weekend long with your comments about how you'd show the Making Waves ARC a good time.

As a newly-single girl, I've gotta admit I'm jealous of my ARC. The last time someone asked me on a date, it was an invitation to go shopping at the Dollar Store.

My amazing agent and I pored over the responses and had a tough time picking just one winner.

So we didn't.

As it turns out, Michelle has TWO advance reading copies of Making Waves, so we got the pleasure of choosing more than one winner. It was still difficult, but it came down to the following fabulous responses:

Teri Anne Stanley said...
I feel kind of like a contestant on The Dating Game!

I would like to take your ARC on a tour of Richwood and Union, towns in Boone County, Kentucky. Why? Because these are all real places:

We'll start of with a bang at Big Bone Lick State Park (the home of American Paleontology, honest), which is located on Beaver Road, and around the Corner from both the Beaver Lick Church of God and the Big Bone Baptist Church.

We will drive down Frogtown Road on our way to Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, although the mayor, Junior, a laborador retriever, passed away not too long ago. Not sure if they've yet sworn in the horse to replace him. But we can stop at the General Store to ask. Rabbit Hash is also a weekend destination for lots of bikers, so we can totally pimp you there.

Unfortunately, the street sign for the town of Sugar Tit keeps getting stolen, but we can maybe find a copy of an old map to prove we've been there.

Gosh, I only just realized it, but I guess we could get metaphorical with "Richwood" and "Union", too, if we wanted...

Michelle said that response had her humming the Dating Game theme song all weekend, and I was particularly fond of all the delicious innuendo.

And then there's this entry, which won us over both for its romantic allure (engagement!) and for the whole boat thing (which is obviously a big part of Making Waves):

Jess said...

I think I'm a little late, but I had to try because geez, the only book I want to take on vacation is MAKING WAVES!

I'll bring the ARC on a week-long cruise to and vacation in Bermuda. We'll soak in the sunshine, take walks on the beach, go snorkeling (well, MAKING WAVES will have to wait on the boat), and rumor has it that it might even witness me getting engaged!

Congratulations to both Teri Anne and Jess. Email me at tawnafenske at yahoo dot com with an address where you'd like the book sent and we'll get those out ASAP!

On an unrelated note, it dawned on me over the weekend that I never shared some exciting news we got a couple weeks ago. Blame it on forgetfulness, or on the fact that I'm a little uncomfortable with things that involve tooting my own horn (unless "tooting my own horn" is a euphemism for something dirty, in which case I'm totally OK with it).

Anyway, the big news we got a couple weeks ago is that RT Book Reviews magazine gave Making Waves a 4 1/2 star review in the August issue. I'll confess, I didn't know much about the publication, so I didn't realize at first what a big deal that is. For starters, I was the only contemporary romance author this month who received that many stars. Secondly, they don't actually give 5-star reviews, so that 4 1/2 doesn't mean "you suck by half a star."

And apparently, RT Book Reviews is a pretty big deal. I keep getting congratulatory email messages from other authors who are positively giddy on my behalf, which is making me giddy in return.

I'm probably not allowed to reprint the whole review, since they want people to actually buy the magazine, but I can probably share the first couple swoon-worthy lines:

This delightfully witty debut will have readers laughing out loud at the antics of this dysfunctional pirate crew. Cookie, the All-Pro tight-end chef, is a riot, the secondary romance is a terrific bonus, and the chemistry between Alex and Juli is palpable.

You know what's weird? Having people talk about my characters like they exist someplace beyond the dented walls of my brain. I guess they do now, huh? I can't quite get used to that.

Anyway, congratulations to the contest winners, and thanks again to everyone who entered.

And thanks for squealing with me in unison about that review. Ready? One, two, three...

And the winner is....well, YOU decide!

We got some truly fabulous entries in the cover reenactment photo contest for a chance to win an Advance Reading Copy (ARC) of Making Waves.

Ever notice how "fabulous" and "disturbing" are sometimes eerily similar?

I considered asking one of my housemates to judge the entries, but a new one just moved in Saturday and I'm hesitant to scare him the way I did with the other guy.

I tried to get my dog to judge, but she wouldn't stop licking the computer screen.

I decided it's best to go ahead and put the vote to you guys, my fabulous blog readers. I was going to omit the names of the contestants to keep things fair, but at least one of the entries makes it pretty obvious. Besides, since when is life fair?

So here's what we'll do: I'll stick a little clicky-box poll at the bottom of this post. Vote for your favorite entry by 8 p.m. PST on Wednesday, June 15. I'll tally them up in the evening, and will post the winner on Tuesday. That person will receive the ARC of Making Waves.

In addition, I invite you to leave a comment telling me why you voted the way you did. Though I don't have any extra ARCs to give away, I do have a very special Making Waves booty bag I'll send to one commenter. Sound good?

So now, without further ado, here are the entries...

From the amazing Harley May:

From the amazing Jenna McCarthy:

From the amazing Michelle Wolfson:

From the amazing Kimberly Sabatini:

Kimberly also included this as extra credit:

So there are the entries. Tough choice, eh? Cast your vote in the poll below, and don't forget to leave a comment for your chance to win the booty bag.

Thanks for playing!