Preston Paul Henderson

This blog post is one I have been dreading. That being said I do feel compelled to write something about the single most life changing event I have ever had and yes, I do mean that. I have had a sort of road map life, getting married was always in the plan, having children was always in the plan, but I took an unexpected turn on the life plan when I lost my little brother last week because that was never in the plan.

Preston, my little brother, passed away June 12th.Through this tragedy I learned some unexpected things some have been good and some have been unbelievably painful. The first thing I learned was the heart feels actual pain when it is truly broken. I had always thought that the word pain when used in conjunction with grief was a metephor. It is not. I felt as if something was literally piercing my heart.

The next thing I learned is that you can always cry more. Every time I told Matt I thought my tears had run out and I couldn’t cry anymore I broke down again and couldn’t even finish the sentence. Tears are infinite.

The friends who come over and just let you cry on them are the best.

The human psyche is extraordinary. When you are asked to give your favorite memory of your brother just days after finding out he has died for his funeral, your heart can shut out the memories that were too precious to think of you can just go blank because you would just come apart with sorrow if you thought of them just then.



I learned that the in the temple the veil can be very thin between this life and the next.

I learned that the lord is full of tender mercies, and it is easier to see them when you are humbled to the very core with despair.

A simple lesson I learned was of the immense value of a simple kind word given by a complete stranger who has no idea what your situation is.

I learned when someone you know loses a loved one don't give them their space, which has always been my theory, I was surprised at how comforting it was to have friends and loved ones stop by and give hugs, memories and a good cry. I dont mean invade their privacy, but a quick visit is very comforting.

the most important lesson I learned was how much Preston loves his children, and how he will not let the chains of death break that relationship. He has been with them from the day he left this earth and he will be their special gaurdian angel till they reunite in the next life.

One very practical thing that I learned was, that people give money at funerals. I had no idea about that. My parents had an unexpected funeral to pay for just weeks before retirement. Some very kind friends, family, co-workers, and ward members well just so many people gave money to my parents to help with the cost and it was a tremendous relief to them in their time of mourning. I had never even thought of that, so now I know.

I learned that when you lose a little brother the one who you prayed for when you found out your mom was having a baby and you wanted a brother so bad, the one who you always felt responsible for and loved with every bit of your heart, the one you walked to the bus stop from the time he was in kindergarten, the one who you rode bikes to school with, the one who you had spirited water fights with, that little brother who just refused to stop teasing you about the hot dog surprise you tried to make for dinner once but it didn’t work out the way you planned, the little brother who asked you to help make him cool in middle school and so you took him to the mall and chose out all of his school clothes, the one who called you when he moved out of state and hit hard times and just needed to talk so you ordered him a pizza over the phone from Utah to be delivered to him in Montana because you just knew he needed it, the little brother who wanted to go for a ride and get your opinion on a girlfriend or the brother who every time I moved came to help and stayed until the very last box was moved in, the brother who slipped your son a hundred dollars for your family vacation even though he was struggling to start a new business and had very little money at the time, the brother who taught your 10 year old son to drive behind your back in the empty church parking lot, the brother who was always protecting you from bullies and even as adults was willing to fight your battles for you, the brother who you knew so well that you could read his mind just by seeing his face, that brother, I learned that when he passes to the next life before you, your faith is truely put to the test. Having faith of eternal families is cake when you have your parents and siblings and husband and children on this earth with you but when someone you lived everyday with, grew up with and loved so much crosses over to the next life then comes the test.

Preston is in the arms of his Father in Heaven and I will have a empty spot in my heart that will only be filled when our family is reunited. Families are eternal and death is just the next step in our eternal progression. I know that, and it makes our sorrow lift a little. But for now I will miss his hugs, his smiles, his phone calls and his great stories for the rest of my life.