Presidential Perfection Perhaps ? ? ? ?

'Ya know if this were the case and WEB won - it would take all the fun out of blogging.

What would I have to bitch about ? ? ? ?

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

Friday Funny . . . .

MY NEW CAR

I bought a new Lexus 330 but returned to the dealer the next day because I couldn't get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. "Nelson," the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, "Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music. If I said, "Beatles," I'd get one of their awesome songs. Yesterday, a driver ran a red light and nearly creamed my new Lexus, but I swerved in time to avoid him.? I yelled, "Ass Hole!"

Immediately Hail-to-the-Chief began playing.

I LOVE this car!

Ho, Ho, Ho (And Not In a Don Imus Kind of Way . . . )

(Cross-posted from Moving to Vancouver)

Santa's a "Dirty Ba _ tard" . . . .

From the AP:

Microsoft Spikes Dirty Santa
Dec 5, 6:03 PM (ET) - By JESSICA MINTZ

SEATTLE (AP) - Microsoft Corp. (MSFT) quickly shut down Santa Claus' Web privileges after it found out the automated elf it created for kids to instant message with was talking naughty, not nice.

_______________


The holiday cheer soured this week when a reader of a United Kingdom-based technology news site, The Register, reported that a chat between Santa and his underage nieces about eating pizza prompted Santa to bring up oral sex.

One of the publication's writers replicated the chat Monday. After declining the writer's repeated invitations to eat pizza, a frustrated Santa burst out with, "You want me to eat what?!? It's fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else."

The exchange ended with the writer and Santa calling each other "dirty bastard."

_______________


Sohn said Microsoft was not aware that the Santa code included the foul language, but insisted the company did not suspect an employee prank.

Microsoft disabled Santa Tuesday. On Wednesday, northpole@live.com appeared to be online in one reporter's Messenger contact list, but Santa did not respond to her messages.

Oh, No!!

Now how do I order my "Send bush Back to Crawford" gift certificate ? ? ? ?


(Cross-posted from Moving to Vancouver)

Protection . . . .

On a lighter note, this was sent to me from a Vancouver friend:

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.

Enjoy your weekend . . . .

(Cross-posted from Moving to Vancouver)

Dollar's Decline via Daily Show . . . .

John Hodgman of The Daily Show describes the US dollar's decline with a decidedly Canadian connection:




Enjoy . . . .

(Cross-posted from Moving to Vancuver)