Barney & Gomer Coming to Your Neighbourhood Soon . . . .

As soon as harperco "improves" their citizen's arrest legislation, we can all live like we were in Mayberry, North Carolina.



Yee haw . . . .

Harrods fires Santa Claus ...

Santa Claus retaliates.

The fashionable and famous London department store didn't like the behaviour of one of the employees dressed as Father Christmas in the toy department.

So, he was sacked.

He didn't take it well.

Edification

DRIBBLEGLASS IS CHEERFULLY irreverent. They have a fine selection of faux billboards for your amusement. Stevie probably wouldn't like it.

Smoke 'Em if You've Got 'Em . . . .

Quite the interesting contraption, would you not agree?

Used extensively in Ottawa, Victoria and Washington, DC.

(Click to enlarge)

Gives a whole new meaning to "Let's go outside and light up a butt," eh ? ? ? ?

H/T "drf"

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

Grannies Flee to Canada . . . .

As published today at The Borowitz Report:

Fox News Reports: Millions of Grannies Flee U.S. as Death Panels Loom

Glenn Beck: "Run For Your Lives"

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - With the establishment of government-mandated death panels just days away, grandmothers began fleeing the United States in record numbers today, reports Fox News.

"I am never one to yell ‘Fire' in a crowded theater," said Fox News host Glenn Beck. "But run for your lives!"

Across the country, slow-moving caravans of 1980s-era Cadillacs with turn signals blinking were making the torturous journey to the Canadian border, their back seats laden with cats, knitting projects, and bottles of Ensure.

Fox News may have set off the mass exodus by warning grannies that if they did not flee quickly enough they would face government-mandated organ harvesting.

Elsewhere, anti-healthcare protesters objected to the language of the House bill, saying there were too many polysyllabic words.

Be afraid.

Be very afraid . . . .

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

Birthdays

ASTERIX TURNS 50!

SINCE IT BEGAN ON OCTOBER  29, 1959, IMHO, Asterix is one of the most delightful comic strips ever created: the artwork is excellent, and has delighted people world-round. But according to a report by Hugh Schofield for the BBC, there are those who believe that the strip just isn't what it used to be. That's because Asterix was a co-production between Italian-born artist Albert Uderzo, who, with his script-writer friend René Goscinny, had dreamed up the idea a few months previously on the terrace of his Bobigny flat — and unfortunately, René died in 1977.

It may be so, but the article, "Should Asterix hang up his sword?" is worth the read, because it's still a nice overview of the oeuvre.

On 22 October, a new album comes out, the 34th in the series, entitled, "Asterix and Obelix's birthday - The Gold Book". And, over the following week a series of events will be held across Paris to mark the anniversary. They include a musical, a seminar at the Sorbonne and a costumed pageant on 29 October. 

For the French, who take their Bandes Dessinées (BD, comic strip books) very seriously indeed, Asterix is part of the canon. Not only is he a prodigious (and rare) cultural export - 325 million books sold in 107 languages - he also exemplifies perfectly the national self-image.

The Asterix web site is a delight. Do go visit, and check out the vast number of characters with all those wonderful names.

Cacofonix: Bard, school teacher and scapegoat.

Geriatrix: The Oldest Member of the Village.Suffix: Druid whose inventions spread like powder in the wind

Stealth Public Option . . . .

This one from SF Gate is too good to edit or trim down:

The menace of the public option

M.C. Blakeman | Saturday, September 19, 2009

Of all the current assaults on our noble republic, perhaps none is more dangerous than the public option - specifically, the public library option.

For far too long, this menace has undermined the very foundations of our economy. While companies like Amazon and Barnes & Noble struggle valiantly each day to sell books, these communistic cabals known as libraries undercut the hard work of good corporate citizens by letting people read their books for free. How is the private sector supposed to compete with free? And just what does this public option give us? People can spend hours and hours in these dens of socialism without having to buy so much as a cappuccino. Furthermore, not only can anyone read books for free in the library, they can take them home, too. They get a simple card that can be used at any library in town. No checking on the previous condition of books they've read. No literacy test. Nothing. Yet, do these libertines of literature let you choose any book you want, anytime you want it? No. Have you ever tried to get the latest best-seller at a public library? They put you on a waiting list for that, my friend. And if you do ask these government apparatchiks a question about a book, they start talking your ear off, and pretty soon they're telling you what to read.

Of course, if you break one of their petty rules and return a book late, you have to pay fines that mount grotesquely each day. Even if you die, your overdue fees keep piling up. Is that not a death tax? How long must the elderly live in fear of burdening their children with these unfair sanctions on their estates?

Don't be fooled for a minute. Somebody has to pay for these "free" libraries, and I'll tell you who it is, pal. Those good ol' suckers, the American taxpayers, that's who.

Have you ever wondered who's really behind this public library option? And don't you think it's fishy that they mask their nefarious activities with benign-sounding names, like Friends of the Library? What's their real agenda - and why do they have so many "volunteer" meetings, anyway?

No, my fellow Americans. We cannot wait until we're all goose-stepped into a massive book checkout line. This assault on capitalism and our very way of life has got to end. Be subversive ... burn your library card! Go out and buy a book!

Forewarned is forearmed!

To the gunwales!

Don't let the Socialists get away with this attack on capitalism ! ! ! !

H/T Lloyd

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

Maher Rules . . . .

(Playing off Edstock's post below:)

Bill Maher has a New Rule posted at The Huffington Post today.


Go.

Read.

Chuckle.

Snicker.

Guffaw.




Shake your head in astonishment.

A sampling:

A few weeks ago I was asked by Wolf Blitzer if I thought Sarah Palin could get elected president, and I said I hope not, but I wouldn't put anything past this stupid country. It was amazing - in the minute or so between my calling America stupid and the end of the Cialis commercial, CNN was flooded with furious emails and the twits hit the fan. And you could tell that these people were really mad because they wrote entirely in CAPITAL LETTERS!!!

_______________

At a recent town-hall meeting in South Carolina, a man stood up and told his Congressman to "keep your government hands off my Medicare," which is kind of like driving cross country to protest highways.

_______________

Nearly half of Americans don't know that states have two senators and more than half can't name their congressman. And among Republican governors, only 30% got their wife's name right on the first try.

I repeat:

Go.

Enjoy . . . .

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

Stimulating the Funnybone . . .

Apparently the Canadian Medical Association has weighed in on the new economic stimulus package.... 

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
 
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception. 

Ophthalmologist considered the idea shortsighted. 

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!' 

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. 

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing, and cut their losses. 

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. 

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
 
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Ottawa. 

Letterman on Caribou Barbie . . . .

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

XKCD, again

XKCD proclaims itself to be a "webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math and language". IMHO, it's delightfully oblique.

The Human Body

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.


Shamelessly stolen from Miss Cellania... which, if you're not reading regularly, means you're really not on the tOObs.

Uncle Sam's Suckling Little Piggies . . . .

As only Lewis Black could explain:



End of story . . . .

Bail! Bail! . . . .

In honour of what appears to be an impending Big Three bailout, this ad may come in handy:


H/T Dana

The Real Morning in America . . . .

A good friend from California sent this, and it's worth sharing:

One sunny day in 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.'

The Marine looked at the man and said, 'Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.'

The old man said, 'Okay' and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.'

The Marine again told the man, 'Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.'

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying 'I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.'

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, 'Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?'

The old man looked at the Marine and said,

'Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.'

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, 'See you tomorrow.'

Gotta love it . . . .

(H/T Paula)

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

50 Strange Buildings of the World

Really. Go visit Village of Joy, and ponder all the ideas.

Vancouver Centre Results Disappointing for Moi . . . .

Well, you probably were aware that I was doing some campaign volunteering for our local Vancouver Centre NDP candidate, Michael Byers. Unfortunately, my efforts and the efforts of a strong crew of volunteers weren't enough to unseat Hedy Fry from her 15 year grasp on our riding. Hey, at least the con candidate, aka, Lorne "Freak Out at the Queer Debate" didn't make it in! The Tyee has the results here. (This link marks my initial goal of only linking to independent news sources when available. We need to reduce the corporate media's influence whenever we can.)

On a lighter note, Jon Stewart of "The Daily Show" did a short recap of our recent federal election. Pay particular attention to his characterization of the Canadian conservative party.

Enjoy . . . .





(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

"It's Canada for Me ! ! ! !"

Credit due to Ricky over at Queer Thoughts for finding this one. I wanted to make sure our loyal readers got to enjoy it, too. WARNING: Tune may remain in your head for hours!

This video is so reminiscent of "drf" and my feelings after george bush was re-appointed in 2004.

Note the city they choose at the end of the production. We totally concur.






UPDDATE: Thanks to cls in comments for giving us this tip for another clever video on the topic.

Political History . . . .

An archaeological team, digging in Washington DC Alberta, has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Republican Harper Conservative.

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)

Bridge Done. Send in the Clowns . . . .

Sorry.

Couldn't resist . . . .

(Cross-posted from Moved to Vancouver)